


Let Me Love You

by thejilyship



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, jily - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Fake Dating, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Modern Royalty, Princess Diaries AU, Slow Burn, but really slow burn, fake realtionship, jily, like a turtle with only two legs slow, slow burn that could be considered torture really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-01-13 18:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 186,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21198974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejilyship/pseuds/thejilyship
Summary: With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again. Second movie au of the year for me. I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I've enjoyed writing it <3

Lily had never thought that she would miss the dulcet tones of her old alarm clock. It had always played its little tune both off key and off beat, no matter how many times she had reset the thing or tried to change the tone it played. The box that it came in had advertised that it should have been able to play over a dozen different alarms to wake one up in the morning, but her alarm clock didn’t seem to know that it was supposed to do that, and it continued to play its one off beat, off key rhythm for the four years that Lily had used it.

And now that she found herself without it, she missed it.

This was due to the fact that she now had a new method of waking up in the morning, and she really could do without it. She wasn’t a child after all. She didn’t need to be woken up like one.

“Lily!”

She brought the pillow up over her head and buried herself deeper under her covers.

She’d been up for a while now, but she wasn’t ready to face what she knew this day was going to bring, so she hid under her pillow, like she was in fact a child, and let her maids busy about her room, drawing open curtains and twittering on about how excited they were.

Lily was not excited.

There were a lot of things that didn’t pan out how Lily Evans thought they would when she became princess of Gryffindor. She had moved to what felt like the other side of the world to take care of this small and proud country, that she hadn’t been aware existed until half a decade ago. She’d changed her entire life plan to come here, and while she knew that she wouldn’t change her mind for anything in the world, she was still adjusting.

There was always one more tradition to learn, one more family to meet for the first time, one more law that had just been revised, one more _something _that required her attention and focus, so even though she’d been living in Gryffindor for about half a year now since she’d graduated from Brown, she still didn’t feel as though she had her footing.

And so, it sort of made sense that her grandmother would tell her that she would need to get married before she took the throne in early February.

And since she was set to take the throne in just over a month, that meant that she was either going to have to cross her fingers and pray that she would fall in love tomorrow, or she would have to agree to an arranged marriage. What a fantastic Christmas present this news had been!

Anita and Lily tried to fight with parliament to get them to change their outdated and sexist law, but they weren’t bending and there were another two families lined up and waiting for her to abdicate, so that they could take the throne. 

So, she let her grandmother and the castles administration assistant, Emma Vanity, put together a list of eligible bachelors who could potentially become her king consort, making it legal for her to take the throne after her twenty first birthday.

She looked at many, _many _pictures of men, and she read through even more bios, looking for someone who seemed like they would fit into the small family that Lily had built herself here at the castle; herself, her gran, and Mary MacDonald.

Mary’s input into the selection process was mainly comments about how cute they were, or about how they had to look at pictures of their fathers to see if they were going to lose their hair like Prince William had. Lily would have ignored her, but her droll commentary on Sirius Black’s blue steel pose, or Bertram Aubrey’s extraordinarily large head, kept her from tearing out her hair and fleeing her country.

It was a hard choice to make, as she’d only met these men once or twice before at state functions over the last five years, and she was picking one out to spend the rest of her life with. The whole thing made her feel grimy and itchy.

And then Lord James Potter’s picture popped up and Mary’s first comment was, “Oh my god, who let his hair look like that?” And Lily snorted, because James’ hair _was_ drastically different from any of the other men that they’d looked at. Where they had been styled and kempt, James’ was wild and looked as though it had never had a brush run through it. Surprisingly, it also looked amazing.

Mary’s second comment was, “Awe, look at his nerd glasses. He looks like someone you’d date.”

Lily had rolled her eyes of course, but she also kind of agreed. James did look like a bit like a nerd. A nerd with far too much money, who was also a Lord, but much nerdier than any of the other options.

And so she read his profile and she listened to her grandmother talk about how much people in the country liked him, and how she thought he would be a find choice. Emma, the administration assistant, told her how she had met the Potter family only twice, and all of them remembered her name as well as what she did in the castle the second time they met. “The Lady even sent me a fruit basket for Christmas!”

So he was Lily’s type of attractive, he was beloved by the people, he came from a kind family and he had her grandmother’s stamp of approval. What more could Lily ask for in a handpicked husband that she would know for all of thirty days before she married him?

But when her maids came to wake her up the day that she was set to meet Lord James Potter, Lily wasn’t thinking about how he would be good for her image politically, or how he was good looking, she was thinking about how she’d never get to run into someone in the grocery store, drop an armful of produce and then clonk heads with the perfect man when they both knelt down to pick up the mess. She’d never get to go out to a pub and make eyes at the cute boy across the room, waiting for him to come and ask her to dance. She’d never get to have her Hallmark moment or go on any more first dates. She’d never get the chance to fall, willfully and carelessly, in love.

She still got up though, and let her maids dress her, and style her hair, and when she was told that the car was approaching the castle, she went out to the front and waited to greet him like she was meant to.

She was standing near the front of the castle, beside a window that was as large as the entire back wall of her old room at her mum’s house. This was her favorite view of the grounds, with the fruit trees all dormant and covered in snow for the winter, the mountains cool gray and ice capped in the distance; this was exactly where she needed to be in order to convince herself that she didn’t want to say goodbye to all of the wonderful things that this country had to offer her simply because she had to do this _one_ thing that she found unpleasant and unreasonable. 

One very large thing, but still, just one thing. 

Or perhaps it was more than one thing, because she was going to have to agree to marry a stranger and give up all chances of falling properly in love. And that meant giving up a lot of little things over the course of her lifetime, and she got a stomachache whenever she started to think past what was happening right now. 

At least she got to pick which stranger it was that she was going to tie herself to forever. 

James Potter’s profile had stood out to her. The first thing that she had noticed (aside from his hair) was his smile. It made his eyes crinkle and took up a good portion of his face. It looked real and genuine and it made her smile. And even as she sat in the room with her grandmother and Mary, going through dozens of who had been deemed ‘eligible bachelors,’ she had kept going back to his. His eyes were soft and warm and full of mirth, everything about him invited mischief and his hair looked entirely too unkempt for someone who was supposed to be extremely polished. 

She hadn’t grown up a princess, she was just Lily before her grandmother had dropped that bomb. A girl from Cokesworth, who had gone to public school with the rest of the factory town kids. It wasn’t until she was fifteen that she found out that she was royalty, the heir to a throne no less. So perhaps that was why she kept coming back to him. Perhaps she thought he would be a good partner for her because he didn’t seem to perfect, he seemed like he could be a normal bloke. 

She had to keep reminding herself of the reasons that she had chosen him as she looked out the window, waiting for his car to appear.

Though she knew that she was probably just trying to come up with reasons to feel a connection with one of the men on the screen. 

Whatever the reason she chosen him, she _had _chosen him. Which meant that if this all went to hell in a hand basket, it was entirely her fault.

Her stomach was in knots. 

“There you are, Lily!” Mary came around the corner of the hallway, saw that she was standing in front of her window and rolled her eyes. “I should have checked here first, obviously. You can’t live your life in front of this window. You know that, right? You have to actually go out and do the terrifying things that cause you to want to stand here.”

“He’s not here yet. I can stand here for a few more minutes if I need to. Besides, I can see the driveway from here so it’s a good place to wait.”

“You don’t need to stand here though. We’ve talked through this. If you don’t like this bloke, then we can just pick the next most handsome man on the list your gran gave us.” 

Lily cocked her head to the side and gave Mary a look. “I didn’t pick him because he’s the most handsome.”

“Oh. I thought that was why you picked him.”

“No, I picked him because... I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing, and no one should have to get married to a stranger. Unless that’s what they want of course,” She looked over her shoulder in case her gran was walking toward her. She’d entered into an arranged marriage willingly. She’d never fallen in love, but her and her husband were very good friends. 

Lily sighed. She didn’t want a really good friend. She had Mary for really good friend things. She wanted to fall in love, and she didn’t think that she should be penalized for that by some sexist law that her country had put in place over a century ago. She liked to think that they had come a bit further than that. 

“You are a brilliant, beautiful, wonderful person and this bloke is going to fall for you the moment he sees you. You, on the other hand, need to get out of your head. How are you going to form any kind of connection at all with this James kid, if all you’re thinking about is how unfair all of this is? I mean, what if he’s as great as he looks on paper.” 

“You mean his picture, right? You’re not talking about all the humanitarian work that he’s done or the fact that he’s gone to Oxford and-”

“No, I meant his picture! I actually don’t remember anything from the written portion of his profile. God, that hair!”

Lily smiled at her. “Look, I know that you’re right-”

“I know you know. You saw his picture.”

“He does have great hair, though I was talking about how I’m in my head. But it’s not something that I can help. I feel like I’m in a glass house of sorts. Everything that I do is being watched by everyone in the country. They already know more about James than I do. And they’ve gone ahead and made it sound like the two of us are already in love and I haven’t even met him- Or even talked to him yet! And, we’re already in love!” 

“I know.” Mary nodded, and leaned up against the wall in front of Lily. “It is frustrating, but you know that I’m going to be here with you every step of the way, and I’m going to make sure that everything is above the board.”

“What does that mean?” 

“That he doesn’t try anything.” She shrugged. “Unless you want him too.” She added with a wink. “And before you say anything, I’m also going to be your sounding board, no matter how annoying you get with your repetitive comments about fishbowls and cameras being shoved in your face.”

“Thanks, Mary,” Lily said, only half sarcastic as she glanced out the window again. She took a sharp intake of breath as she saw a long black limo pulling up to the front of the castle. “I think I’m out of time here.” She sighed, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. 

“It’s going to go well. And if it doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass for you. On television if you’d like.” This was not a new offer.

“I will never ask you to do that, Mary.”

“You haven’t yet thought of a reason that you would ask me to do that. You would ask me to though. If you had a reason.” Lily laughed, because she was nervous and her friend of over a decade was ridiculous. 

“He’s here!” Lily wasn’t sure if that was her blonde maid or the brunette, they were both new and spoke so often at the same time that she had yet to learn how to tell them apart. “Princess Lily!” 

“I am over here,” Lily stepped out of the alcove and let herself be found.

Mary hadn’t been right in many regards, but she was right when she had said that Lily couldn’t live her life standing here by the window. She had to step away and act. 

She took a deep breath and straightened her skirt as she started walking toward the staircase that would lead her out to the courtyard. James car was pulling up now, and it would appear as slight if she wasn’t at the door ready to greet him.

She didn’t know if he would take it as a slight, but she knew that the reporters waiting at the gate would report it as a slight. ‘Cold and bitter Princess Lily, queen to be, can't change the rules so she chooses to pout.’ They were ever the finicky bunch. She was too progressive for calling for an end to the marriage clause in the country’s highest law of the land, but she was absolutely smitten with the Lord James, giddy to have him coming to stay with her. She would kill for some consistency.

She reached the top of the steps outside the castle and clasped her hands behind her back, reminding herself to focus on what was about to happen and to stop thinking about how the press had been treating her for the last couple of months. 

Her fall from media darling had been a sharp plummet. Quick and painful. All it had taken was a few quiet whispers from some disgruntled members of parliament, and suddenly there were twice as many terrible stories about Lily as there were good ones. Reminders that she was too young, too English, too _female. _

Anita, her grandmother, thought that James would be able to help her with all of that as well. 

Lily was distracting herself again, so she dug her nails into her palm and forced herself to stay in the moment.

James' car door opened and she could see the top of his head as he stuck a leg out of the car and then came his hand and the rest of his head and then he was standing there, smiling at the man who had opened his car door for him and then shaking his hand. Lily almost nodded in approval before she caught herself. People were watching her, she couldn't visibly add points in his favor. Someone would notice. And if they noticed her approval, they would notice her disapproval. They already had noticed her disapproval when she and Lord Slughorn had first started fighting about the marriage clause. And then they had noticed her argument with Lord Fenwick over a tax bill. And then and then...

Her grandmother had taken to reminding her before each meeting with parliament, that she was to remain completely neutral in public if she wished to avoid turbulence. 

Lily had never been good at remaining neutral in the face of stupidity or misogyny, but she didn't want her future husband to read about her disapproval of him in the local tabloid. That would be quite an uncomfortable way to start a marriage. 

And then James looked up and met her gaze. 

_Future husband. Marriage. _

Those words came back to her and punched her in the gut. 

She was going to marry this man. In less than a month. 

She should probably smile at him.

She couldn’t get her face to listen to her brain. She hoped she was smiling, but she didn’t know for sure if she was.

Perhaps Mary had been on to something when she had mentioned his hair. And how handsome he was. Lily would be lying if she had tried to claim that she had not noticed how handsome he was before now, but people rarely looked their best in government issued photographs and James' photo really hadn't done him justice. 

And now he was walking up the steps and she was still just staring at him blankly, possibly with a slight smile on her face, but she still couldn’t be sure. She quickly schooled her face into something that she hoped resembled calm and pleasant, and then straightened her posture and glanced over her shoulder. Where was her grandmother? As the current queen of Gryffindor, Anita should be here to greet James, same as Lily. 

Well, not the _same _as Lily, but the point still stood. 

"Your highness," Lily's gaze snapped back in front of her and there was James, his grin aimed at her now as he bowed before her, his hand outstretched and awaiting her own. Lily heard the clicking of the cameras from the gate and quickly moved to rectify her mistake. She had warned herself before about getting distracted. 

In her haste to place her hand in his, she overshot and hit him square on the forehead. 

She gasped and brought her hands up to cover her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. 

_Not again. _She thought miserably, hearing the clicking of the cameras quicken as she slowly opened her eyes. It wasn’t that she’d hit many lords in the face when meeting them in front of the press, but she had done many stupid and embarrassing things over the years. Tripped while walking into rooms, torn dresses on garden décor, spilled tea on no less than _three _older women. And once, at a dinner, she’d even started a fire on a diplomat’s sleeve.

Her stomach was filled with the same icy dread.

"Don’t fret, princess." James was still grinning at her. "I’m alright." He reached up and took her hand, pulling it away from her face before he kissed the back of it. Lily smiled at him, removing her other hand from her mouth and tilting her head. 

"You must believe me when I say that I had not envisioned hitting you in the face when we first met."

"Oh, I believe you." James released her hand and looked up at her, still standing a couple of steps below her. He was taller than his pictures had suggested as well. "That typically comes around the third or fourth time after someone meets me."

Lily's smile froze for a moment, not sure how she was meant to take that. 

James smiled again. "I'm only joking, princess."

She smiled again, for the cameras or because he seemed truly at ease in this bizarre situation, she wasn't sure. "Lily, if you please. There's no need to add titles to our list of obstacles." 

"Lily." He repeated. "I agree." He nodded and then he took another step toward her, leaving her only one step ahead of him. "Do you think we've given them enough for now?" He asked quietly, nodding toward the reporters. 

Lily chuckled, glad to feel as though she had a partner against the flashing cameras. "I think I've given them more than enough to run with." She reached for his arm, "Come with me, I'll give you the grand tour." 

Lily may have started walking a bit faster than she normally would have, but the sound of the cameras and the reporters now shouting out questions for both her and James did spur her on. James, for his part, didn't mention it and moved along at her speed.

Once they were in the castle, Lily let go of his arm and put a breath of space between them. She felt far lighter once the doors were closed. But then she looked over at James again and her stomach turned to lead once more. 

_Husband. _

"The drive here from the airport was absolutely beautiful." He ran a hand through his already disheveled hair and messed it up even further. He seemed to be able to sense her discomfort. "All the fruit trees were covered in snow and it was all we could see the whole drive here. It was like driving through a snow globe."

"Oh, yes." Lily nodded, trying to find her words. "Yes, Gryffindor is known for its fruit trees- er, it's fruit. Pears, apples, cherries, we have peaches too…" She frowned and shook her head. He lived here, he knew that they had fruit, what was she rambling on for?

"Perhaps we should acknowledge what a strange situation that we're in. Do you think that might help?" James asked, his smile soft and honest looking.

Absolutely charming, that's what he was. And Lily was being as stiff as a brick wall. 

She took a deep breath and let her shoulders fall, ignoring the clicking of her maids’ heels as they followed her and James down the corridor. "Yes, perhaps it might. I know that many people agree to arranged marriages for all sorts of reasons, but until last week, I hadn't thought it was a possibility for me."

"That sounds like quite the life choice to make in a week." 

Lily nodded, "It's either an arranged marriage, or I'll be forced to abdicate the throne. And I love my people, there is so much that I want to do for them."

"Well, I'll try and make your sacrifice as painless as possible," James gave her another smile, but it didn't reach his eyes like the others had. 

"Oh no, James," She reached out and put a hand on his arm. "I knew that I was going to mess this up." She bit her lip and looked down. “First I hit you in the face and now I’m making it sound like your somehow to-“

"Lily, I didn't mean to make it sound like I was put out." James put his hand on top of hers and they stopped walking. Her maids stopped clumsily at the end of the hallway. "I just genuinely think it's horrible that your parliament doesn't see the double standard they've created. If you were a man, you wouldn't be required to get married before taking the crown, yes? And for them not to tell you until now? Giving you only a month to get everything in order." He shook his head. "I knew of the situation that I was agreeing to walk into. You're not messing anything up." He assured her. 

And with his hand on top of hers, with him looking at her like he was, she almost felt better. She almost felt calm about the situation. 

She felt herself deflate, "I appreciate that you understand where I'm coming from." Lily took a step back and started down the hall again. "What about you?"

"Oh everyone in my family has been a part of arranged marriages for centuries. I always knew that this was in the cards for me. And even still, it's not an easy thing to accept."

Lily looked over at him again as they approached the kitchen. "You're very different than I thought you would be." 

He looked over at her and grinned, one side of his mouth pulling up higher than the other. "And what did you think that I'd be like?"

Lily shrugged her shoulder and couldn't help but smile. "Perhaps a bit more like everyone else. Less understanding and a bit more arrogant."

"Oh, I've been told that I’m plenty arrogant, I'm simply trying to put my best foot forward today." Lily laughed and pushed open the kitchen door. 

"I figured the kitchen is a good place to start the tour."

"I thought you were using the tour as an excuse to get inside,"

"No, you'll be living here, you should know all the ins and outs." 

"Well thank you. Would you mind if I did a bit of exploring on my own after the official tour though?"

"Of course not, like I said, this is going to be your home. Besides, I did the same thing when I moved in. I've found four different secret rooms so far, and many secret passageways as well."

They walked down the small stone staircase into the kitchen, and Lily was surprised to find that all the lights were already on.

"How well must I know you, that I assumed that you'd first bring him to the kitchen?" Anita was seated at the small dining table at the edge of the room. She looked immaculate, as she normally did, and she had an apple pie already dished out, two empty chairs with full plates in front of them. 

James bowed, even as he laughed. "Your majesty, it's an honor."

"Oh, please dear boy, if my granddaughter has told you to treat this as your home, you must not address me so formally."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Better." Anita nodded at the empty chairs and Lily moved to take a seat, not sure what this would be about, but feeling as though she was about to be reprimanded. Her palms got sweaty again and she needed to pee.

"I was wondering where you’d gone to. We haven't even been on our first official outing, and you already find it necessary to sit us down?" Lily didn't hesitate in picking up her fork and taking a bite of her pie. It was missing a scoop of ice cream, but it was still warm and absolutely delicious. “Did you make this?”

"Well of course," She looked James over as he took his seat. "I simply wish to make sure that the three of us are all on the same page before we take off."

"That makes perfect sense," Lily nodded, though she probably would have appreciated a heads up that she was going to be accosted by her grandmother only ten minutes after James' arrival. She didn't know how she would have prepared for that, and it might have stressed her out more to know ahead of time, but she still would have liked to know. 

But her grandmother liked her surprises, and it didn't matter how many times Lily told her that she preferred a heads up, she never got one. 

"I thought so as well," Anita grinned at Lily, probably sensing her discomfort. "James, it's been just Lily and I for a good many years now.”

“And Mary,” Lily added.

“And Mary,” She amended. “Lily’s mother comes to visit every now and then, but she lives far away and has other family to tend to, so most of the time, it's just the three of us. I know that no promises have been set in stone yet, but just know, if you agree to marry my granddaughter, you will be binding yourself to the person who I hold most dear to my heart. I know that this is an arrangement, that neither one of you are here for love, but it is not a choice that I want either of you to take lightly. 

Over the next couple of weeks, you need to work together as a team, to overcome whatever obstacles are put in your path. I'm sure parliament will have a great number of things to say about the fact that Lily has managed to find someone so soon after they set their deadline, I'm sure that the media will have even more to say, but if you stick together, everything will be easier in the long run." They were all quiet for a moment and Anita took a small bite of her pie before she continued. 

"An arranged marriage doesn't have to be a lonely thing." She looked at each of them, "Remember that." 

She then stood up, taking her plate with her and left the room. 

Lily's tongue felt heavy and dry and for perhaps the first time in a long time, her apple pie didn't look all that enticing. 

She pushed her plate away. "I did like the part where she said I am what she holds most dear."

James chuckled and took a bite of his previously untouched pie. "That was sweet."

"Parliament hates me. I'm not sure if you know that or not, but you should. I'm not at all what they wanted." She tucked her hair back behind her ear and sighed. "I mean, they wanted my father, and while I never even met him, I can tell from how they treat me that he and I must have had very different political views." James took another bite and Lily broke off a piece of the crust. 

James sat up straighter and turned to look at Lily. "Well, it's like your grandmother said, we're a team now. We'll just have to get them to change their minds."

Lily nodded. "I hope that that's a task that you’re up for. I've been trying to get them to like me since I moved in here. Which is just another problem, they don't like that I grew up in England either."

"Well, I grew up here." James grinned, and then he frowned slightly. "Though, that's probably one of the reasons that you chose me, isn't it?"

Lily gave him a small smile and nodded. "We started off looking at everyone, but I narrowed the pool to citizens of Gryffindor after the first snide comment about two outsiders sitting on the throne." He was easier to talk to than she had thought he would be. 

Actually, overall, he was a lot less scary than she'd thought he would be. She smiled, and he smiled back. 

"What?" He asked, tilting his head. 

She shrugged, "Nothing. It's just that, so far, everything is going a lot more smoothly than I had anticipated." 

James nodded. "I don't want to overstep by making any assumptions here, but you do seem like the type of person to prepare for the worst."

Lily nodded. "That sounds right to me."

"Well then you must be pleasantly surprised a lot. The worst doesn't normally happen, right?"

"I suppose not." She agreed. "You sound like my friend, Mary." She took one last bite of her pie, her appetite back now. "Come one, I'll show you the rest of the castle."


	2. Chapter 2

Lily attended a parliament meeting with her grandmother that evening, leaving James to settle into his rooms. Anita commented how she thought he would do since he stuck around after her speech, Lily asked her not to give any more without forewarning, and then Lord Rosier took them both for a loop. 

"As Bertram Aubrey is the next in line for the throne, I think he should be staying in the castle until we are through this tremulous time."

"Bertram Aubrey is a fine boy, he'd make a great king." Someone added, and Lily bristled, sitting up straighter alone with Anita. They knew that she was sitting there, they could all see her, right? So why were they discussing him as though he were another option, someone that they could chuck Lily aside for?

"There is no need for Bertram to prepare for anything other than Lily's coronation." Anita said firmly. Lily nodded sharply, and just once. She tried to keep from smiling at her grandmother as well. The floor of parliament wasn’t the place to show emotions. “So he can come to the castle in early February, same as everyone else, to watch the next queen of Gryffindor being crowned.”

Lily felt her heart swell.

"Of course, your majesty." Lord Rosier gave a small bow, and Lily felt her heart sink prematurely. Rosier had a way about him that always had Lily on edge. "Only, I think that everyone here, and the people, would feel better if they knew that we had a plan in place for when- excuse me, a plan in place, just in case things don't work out with Lord Potter." And he said it all with a smile.

Fuck him.

Lily had to clench her jaw to keep from saying any of the things that she was thinking. She may have accidentally hit James in the face seconds after meeting him, a fact that had been brought up a few times already, and she may have treated him informally, but she would remain stoic and proud in front of these men. She would not let them see her falter. That would only be used as another reason they needed to look over others that were in line for the throne.

“If you wish to have Lord Aubrey come and stay with us for the time being, and if this is something that he wishes as well, then I have no problem with it.” Lily said, refusing to raise her voice. She took pleasure in how a few of them had to lean in to hear what she was saying. She could not falter, and she could not yell. “I don’t know what you expect him to do for a month, but if it will put your minds at ease, then I would be willing to open my home to him.”

Lord Rosier seemed to falter. He had not expected her to allow this. Her grandmother looked rather surprised as well, but she was able to school her features much quicker than Rosier. 

“You have no problem with it, your highness?” 

“My home is large enough to accommodate two more people. One of whom might be your future king. The other being Lord Aubrey.” Her tongue was sharp, having had endless hours of lessons with tutors had helped her hone in on her ability to say more with fewer words. Diplomacy was a tricky dance, but it was one that she was getting better at. 

“So you are enjoying James’ company then?” Lord Diggory spoke up. He always found cause to speak, and Lily never enjoyed what he had to say. 

“Lord Potter,” Lily corrected. “Unless you and he are familiar with one another already?” Lord Diggory cleared his throat and shook his head. “Lord Potter arrived only this afternoon, as you’re all well aware. You are also all aware of his record and how much the people of Gryffindor love him. I think you know as well as I do,” She looked at Rosier now. “That you’ll have a hard time finding people to rally against him. Now,” She stood up, her grandmother standing with her. “If we’ve settled all urgent matters for the time being, I think it’s time for us to get home for dinner, yes?” She was actually granted a few smiles as they filed out of the room, though not from Rosier or Diggory. 

When Anita and Lily were closer to the dining hall, Anita clicked her tongue. “Interesting move, allowing Bertram to come and stay with us.” 

“They wanted to see me sway, and you taught me to plant myself like an oak tree. He can be here or not, that won’t change anything. I’m not abdicating the throne, and they can’t give the crown to whomever they’d like. They’re stuck with me, same as I’m stuck with them. They’ll have to accept that sooner or later.” 

Anita smiled at her and then nodded. “I suppose it’s best to have our enemies close at hand.”

“There’s that too. But I don’t know anything about Lord Aubrey, other than he’s next in line. I just wanted to see the look on Rosier’s face when I went along with his stupid plan.” Anita smiled, though she covered it with her hand so she could pretend that it hadn’t happened.

“He did look rather surprised.”

“Yes, I quite enjoyed it.”

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

“First date with a million cameras around? I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life.” Lily forced herself to smile, though her grandmother knew that it was fake. 

“You’ll do well,” She leaned in to hug her, kissing her on the cheek before she pulled away. “Just don’t hit him anymore, yes?” 

“Gran,” Lily muttered, shaking her head before she spun around and set off toward her room. “You’re worse than, Lord Rosier.” 

“Oh, please,” Anita laughed. “My teasing isn’t nearly that bad.” 

And while Lily knew that was true, she still stuck her tongue out at her grandmother's retreating figure before she continued on to her room. 

"Rise and shine!" Lily threw her pillow away from her face and forced herself to sit up. There was not much that Lily would not happily do for her country. She had moved far from her home, her family and her friends at a young age, she had altered any life plans that she had had before she knew that she was a princess, she had agreed to an arranged marriage even! But she would forever complain about getting up before eight in the morning. 

"Do I have a meeting with someone?" Lily asked, glaring at her maids, who were now frozen in the doorway. Lily felt bad for making them look at her like that, but she was a grump in the morning. "I'm sorry for snapping," Lily cleared her throat. "I'd just like to know why I'm being woken up."

Amelia, the brunette maid, stepped forward and grinned sheepishly at her. "Your grandmother sent us to fetch you. She said that we should let you know that your guest has arrived."

"My guest?" Lily wondered for a moment, her sleep addled brain not helping her work through things logically, if her mother or sister had shown up at the castle. It would have been a nice surprise, but Lily dismissed the idea after a moment, remembering that she hadn't invited them, nor had they told her that they were coming. They weren't the type to show up unannounced. 

"Yes, ma'am. Lord Bertram Aubrey."

Lily had been in a bad mood before, thinking about alarm clocks and getting up too early, but to hear that the man who was trying to steal her throne had shown up at her home less than twenty four hours- _hardly twelve hours_ after she'd agreed to let him stay there, really got her blood boiling. 

She dressed quickly and was storming off toward the receiving room when she ran into James. "Dammit!" She shouted, having hit her nose against his chest rather roughly. James reached down to steady her, placing his hands on her arms. 

"Shite, are you alright?" He asked, sounding a little amused. 

Lily sighed and took a step back before looking up at him. "And now I've run into you. Parliament will love that." Should she have noticed how good he smelled? She almost leaned into try and figure out what it was he smelled like, but then he was smiling down at her.

"I don't think there's any reason that they should find out."

Lily looked around the corridor and found that she was alone with James. She felt like she was never actually alone and so she immediately wondered if whoever had been in the corridor had left when they saw James and Lily were together. Perhaps her grandmother had instructed everyone on the castle staff to try and give the two of them a modicum of privacy. 

She didn’t know how she felt about that.

On the one hand, she did enjoy her privacy. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure she liked the weight of the implications.

"Did you hit your head harder than I thought?" James asked, narrowing his brow slightly. Lily shook her head and pushed her hair back. 

"No, I don't think so. I was just wondering where all the people who usually follow me around are."

James looked around again. "Perhaps they've taken the day off."

"I doubt it. They'll turn up soon enough."

"Perhaps I asked some of them to take a walk if they see us." He went on and Lily tilted her head slightly. "I mean, we are having our first outing today, yes? We should have as much privacy as we can manage. Fishbowls and all that."

Lily had almost blushed with nerves, but then she smirked at the word ‘fishbowl.’ She looked over James' shoulder. "Mary found you, didn't she?"

"Short women? Dark hair? Enough energy to power the city? Nah, I'm not familiar with her." Lily laughed. 

"Well I'm glad to see that she didn't scare you away. She can be a little intense, but she means well."

"The two of you are close. And she cares about you, that's not going to scare me away." He grinned. "Though I'll admit that I'm a bit nervous for you to meet one of my friends."

"Sirius? Mary did google you after I chose your profile. I'm assuming it's Sirius. His profile was a laugh. I did appreciate his _Zoolander _poses."

"Yes, Sirius. He’s a good bloke, just a bit much." James grinned. They were quiet for a moment and then James ran a hand through his hair. "Where were you off in such a hurry anyway?"

"Oh!" Lily shook her head and felt her heart rate rise again. "I'm headed off to meet a man who is trying to steal my crown."

"The Malfoys?"

"What? No. Even parliament likes me more than they like the Malfoys. No, it's Bertram Aubrey."

"I know him. We went to school together." 

"Oxford?" Lily asked. It felt strange to know so much about a stranger, but she had read over his profile a few times, and Mary _had _googled him. She knew a good number of things about him. And she was sure that he knew a lot about her as well. 

"No, I think he went to Brown. We went to boarding school together. Should I accompany you now?" 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and then shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Lord Rosier would find a way to use that against me as well. Say that I'm hiding behind you or trying to intimidate Bertram. I've never met him though, is there anything I should know?"

James clasped his hands behind his back. "He's ambitious. Be careful with him."

"Thank you," She grinned and started down the hall again.

"Also," He called her attention back. "You shouldn't worry so much about what parliament thinks. The people love you, that's what actually matters." 

Lily wasn't used to people telling her that she was doing a good job in any capacity. Her grandmother did on occasion, and Mary did all of the time, but hearing James remind her that she had her people's support made her cheeks tint red. "Thank you," She repeated and then took off quickly down the hall. 

Bertram Aubrey was probably the most beautiful man that Lily had ever met before. His skin was dark and flawless, his eyes were the most fascinating shade of blue, his teeth were perfect, and his smile was knee-wobbling. His hair curled in neat little ringlets, his cheekbones sharp, his jaw perfectly angled. Lily thought he looked quite out of place standing in the receiving room of her castle. He should have been at some photoshoot for something or starting in a movie.

"Princess Lily," Dear God, even his voice was attractive. It sounded like it was made out of melted chocolate and kitten tales. She stood up straighter and wished that she had taken the time to actually pay attention to what she was wearing this morning. She glanced down to make sure that her clothes were at least on straight. "I've been looking forward to meeting you for quite a while now." He stuck his hand out and it took her a moment to remember that she shouldn’t want to impress him with what she was wearing. She cleared her throat and took a step forward.

She took his hand and tried to remind herself that this man, as pretty as he was, was not her friend. He was trying to take her throne from her. 

"Lord Aubrey, I've been awaiting this meeting as well. Though, I must say, I did not expect for it to be so soon. It's quite interesting that you were already packed to stay at the castle when I only okayed this visit last night." 

"What can I say," Bertram grinned and Lily looked away, like she was nervous that his smile might make her a bit dizzy. But then she realized that she was being ridiculous again and looked back at him. "I was very eager to get here." And she heard it.

"Ambitious." Lily said quietly to herself. James had been right to choose that as the trait to warn her about. Lily herself was an ambitious person, but in Bertram, she could see the ambition fighting for dominance, wanting to take control of his whole person and take whatever it wanted. 

"What was that?" He asked, leaning a bit closer. Lily leaned back. 

"Nothing," She pushed her hair back and looked over at her grandmother. "I do hope that you enjoy your stay here at the castle. While I wish you to be comfortable, please remember that you are a guest and that things will be very busy in the coming weeks."

"Yes, a wedding and a coronation. Busy indeed." She didn't like how he said that, and she was about to tell him so when he went on. "Oh, wait. There are no current plans for a wedding, are there?" 

Anita stepped forward, "I would not go dusting off the family jewels just yet, Bertram. Lily will take the throne next month, you’re not here to take the throne." Bertram bowed his head to her, but he did not look cowed. Lily thought that she should be cowed. Her grandmother had a presence about her that made men greater than him quiver. 

"Of course, your majesty." He smiled. "Though, if there is no wedding…"

"There will be a wedding." Lily said. And while James hadn't agreed to anything yet, she knew that she would be getting married in a month’s time. If not to James, then to her second choice, whoever that would be. Hopefully James would work out though, especially since the press had already seen them together and they were going out today. And especially because she wasn’t fond of Bertram’s smug look.

"Of course," Bertram bowed his head to her as well, an absolutely insufferable smirk on his face when he looked back up at her. She clenched her fists at her sides and bit down on her tongue to keep from saying anything. He hadn't used her title when addressing her either. Normally she didn't mind, but she knew that he was doing it on purpose, and to bother her. She shouldn't let it bother her, but she couldn't help it. Lily's temper had always been an easy thing to rile up. Even easier if you were and unjustifiably confident man.

"Well, we won't keep you." Anita said, putting a hand on Lily's arm in an attempt to calm her. Her gran could probably tell that Lily was debating whether or not she should smash his toes with her heel. "I'm sure you will want to find your room and settle in. You will be staying with us for quite some time, after all."

"Yes, I would like to familiarize myself with the ins and outs of the castle." Lily bit down harder on her tongue and smiled at him. "Have fun on your date today, Princess Lily."

She nodded her head curtly and then turned to her grandmother, making sure to smile. "I do have to get ready to go."

"Yes, yes, let's not dally then. We'll be seeing you around, Bertram." As the queen, Anita did not have to use titles when she addressed people, but Lily could feel the purposeful omittance when she said his name. 

Bertram just smile though, and Lily thought about taking off her shoe and throwing it at his stupid, beautiful head. 

Mary was sitting on Lily's bed when she got back to her room. She had clearly been in the princess' closet, as she was sporting a large pair of sunglasses, a bright green sunhat, a tiara, two different kinds of sparkly ankle boots and a ceremonial cape. 

"You look absolutely divine." Lily said sardonically. 

"This is what I want you to wear on your date with James today."

"Do you want him to be scared off? You couldn't quite scare him off yesterday, so you want me to do it now?" 

"You just told me that I Iook divine. Were you lying?" 

"Of course I was. You look ridiculous."

"Well, at least I didn't hit James in the face when I met him. I only threatened to do that if he hurt you."

"Yes, I figured you said something like that."

" It’s become my shtick. You would have been disappointed in me if I didn't threaten him."

"Probably. I think James found it amusing more than anything though, so you should work on your intimidation skills."

Mary sighed and hopped off the bed, wobbling slightly as the heels she wore were two different heights. "Well, it's hard to be intimidating when I'm barely five feet tall and cuter than a button."

"Right."

"So, where are you two going and what are you wearing?"

"Right," Lily repeated, tilting her head to the side and scrunching up her nose. "We're going to have tea at a children's hospital fundraiser. Not the most private or romantic of settings for a first date, but I had already agreed to go to the tea-"

"Yes, I know, I was supposed to be your date."

"Yes, but you said no when I asked you to marry me, so here we are."

"Lily, I would marry you in a heartbeat if I didn't think you would murder me three weeks in."

"Or if you weren't happily occupied with Reginald."

"Yes, that too. Though mainly the murder thing. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll leave Reggie for you."

"Sure, sure." Lily grinned. 

"What are you wearing?"

"Not that," Lily grinned, looking Mary up and down. "I was thinking about wearing that new yellow dress I got when we were visiting Ravenclaw." 

"Oh yes, do that. You look fit as hell in yellow. Also, that dress is just beautiful. James won't know what to do with himself."

"Yes well, I have always chose what to wear by considering how it will affect the blokes around me."

“Well we do want him to fall for you.” Mary grinned and Lily sucked on her teeth.

“We met yesterday. Can we not talk about this like it’s _going _to happen. Or even like it _should _happen. There are more important things to worry about.”

"You’re right. Getting _you_ to fall for him."

"It doesn't need to happen," Lily reiterated. She wasn’t in a movie, she couldn’t just muster up feelings that weren’t there, and trying to do so would prevent any real relationship – friendship or otherwise – from happening. "As long as we get along, then I won't complain."

"Yes, sure, married to your friend is great, but there is a reason that you weren't actually serious when you asked me to marry you."

"Parliament would never have allowed it." Lily sighed, though she knew what Mary was referring to. 

"Lily-"

"No," She shook her head and then walked into her closet, calling over her shoulder. "I can't afford to think like that. Falling in love in less than a month with a man I picked because of his credentials doesn't seem likely. And so, I shouldn't get my hopes up. _You _shouldn’t get your hopes up. Nothing good will come from that and I don’t want to deal with the added pressure."

"Yes, I know. You're practical and logical and you don't want to be disappointed… but James is nice, Lily. And really handsome. And he laughed at my jokes. I feel like you should try with him."

"I will try," She ran her fingers over a few of her dresses, looking for the yellow one. "But I'm not going to try too hard. Nor am I going to assume that things are going to be romantic and lovely. This is an arranged marriage," She found the dress and pulled it out. It really was lovely. "Not a fairy tale."

"It could be both." Mary's voice sounded like a shrug and Lily laughed. 

"Ever the optimist." She looked back at her best friend who looked as though she had allowed a child to dress her. 

"It's more fun that way."

"So you keep telling me."

"One day you'll actually listen to me." And then she spun around, the cape billowing out. "I'll fetch the maids to do your hair."

"Joy,"

"No, silly. Ameila and Gwen."

"Gwen? Are you sure?"

"Yes, she's the blonde one." Mary looked over her shoulder and gave her a look. "I'm not impressed that you don't know their names already. They've been here for nearly a week."

"I know. And I haven't been the friendliest either. I'll fix that today."

"Good." Mary nodded. "Now get dressed and ready to stun."

"Thank you, Mary." Lily grinned, feeling a lot lighter than she had when she had stormed into her room.

Bertram was all but a footnote of her morning. 

High pony in place and dress on, Lily felt quite confident that she looked her best. And while she liked to look her best whenever she was out in public, she wanted to look a little extra special today. Because Mary had gotten in her head and James _was_ quite handsome. 

She saw him waiting for her by the door when she started down the stairs. He was wearing a dark green suit that should have looked at least a little ridiculous, but it didn't. He was talking to the head of security, a normally stern man named Alastor Moody, but the man was smiling. Lily didn't think that she'd ever seen him smile before. 

Alastor cleared his throat and nodded toward the stairs to indicate her arrival and James turned to look at her, his smile growing when he saw her. She saw his shoulders rise as he took a deep breath and she felt her cheeks burn and hoped that she was wearing enough makeup to mask it. 

James met her at the bottom of the stairs and offered her his arm. "Well don't you look like you bloomed in the garden." He opened his mouth again but couldn't seem to find the words that he was looking for. 

"Thank you," She looked him over again and smiled. "You look like you could have come from a garden as well. Our outfits complement each other."

James chuckled and nodded. "Well Mary picked out what I was to wear."

"You let Mary dress you?" Lily raised her brow and looked around for her friend. She didn't seem to be in the room, but that didn't mean that she wasn't hiding behind a plant or a large vase. She looked at Moody who nodded toward the curtains. Lily shook her head and looked back at James. "That's very brave of you. You should have seen what she wanted me to wear."

"I feel as though I should tell you that I didn't seem to have much of a say in the matter. She just showed up and handed me this suit."

"Well, she's a wanker." Lily shrugged, speaking up.

"Oh, no, she wasn't too demanding."

"Was she still wearing a ridiculous outfit when you saw her?" Lily asked, knowing that her best friend was listening she was putting it on a bit thick, just for her spying ears.

"If you're referring to the different shoes and the cape, then yes." James grinned. 

"Wanker."

"I am not!" Mary pushed the curtains aside and Lily just nodded. 

"Yes, you are." 

"Your car is ready, your highness."

Lily looked back at Moody and grinned. “Thank, sir. I’ll see you when I get back, Mary.” She tossed a kiss over her shoulder and started toward the door.

“Part of me thinks I’ll be seeing her when we get back as well.” James tucked his arm a bit closer to his side, pulling her closer. She looked up at him and then back towards the car. 

“Oh, I’m sure you will. I did ask her to be nice, but she-”

“She’s looking out for you.” James waved his hand in the air. “You shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for that, even if she’s a bit… eccentric?” 

“I’m not offended by that word.” 

“Good.” 

They grinned at one another and then James opened the door for her. She slid in and stopped herself from looking toward the gate where the reporters normally hung around, by closing her eyes and thinking through all the things she needed to do that day. 

She would have to put on something of a show for the public, they wanted a love story as much as Mary seemed to, but the public wouldn’t know the difference between a fake love story and a real one, so only Mary would be disappointed.

She also had to think about her duties at the charity event. She was giving a speech and meeting with donors to try and get them to dig deeper into their pockets than they were planning. She would have to pose for a few photographs and shake a lot of hands, and keep a smile in place the whole time. And spend time with James as well. 

It was going to be quite a bit to juggle. 

“What’s going through your mind?” James closed the door behind him as he got into the car and Lily snapped her eyes open, refusing to look at the gate again by hyper fixating on James. 

“I’m excited about the event today,” She grinned. “But I have a lot that I need to do, and I don’t want to forget any of it, so I’m just running through it all in my head.” 

“Anything I can help you remember?” 

“Are you familiar with most of the nobles of Gryffindor?” 

“I grew up with them, so I am.” He nodded. 

“I could use your help with names then.” She admitted, twirling a strand of her plait around her finger. “I’ve not yet met them all in person, and people can look so different from their photographs. I’m always nervous that I’m going to say the wrong name.” 

“I’d be happy to help you out there.” The car started moving and Lily nodded and looked forward. “You look very different from your photograph.” He added, causing Lily to look back at him. He was looking out the window now, his hand running through his hair. 

“Oh?”

He cleared his throat and nodded, slowly looking back at her. “You’re much prettier in person.” It was meant to be a compliment, and Lily realized that after she’d already started responding. 

“Do I not photograph well?” And then she couldn’t stop herself, she looked toward the gate and her pulse picked up when she saw everyone hoarding around, waiting for a good picture opportunity. She’d given them many over the years, several over just the last day. 

She quickly turned back to him, “I mean, thank you. I know that that’s not how you meant it.” She let her face fall into her hands and sighed. 

He laughed gently and put a hand on her arm, pulling it away from her face. "The cameras make you a little nervous?" 

"Not the cameras per say," She glanced back toward the gate, but it was getting further away now that they were driving down the road. "It's the intentions of the people behind the cameras that I'm not so fond of."

"You very rarely get bad press." James assured her, his hand still on her arm. She looked down at his hand and he pulled it away. 

"Not in any of the big papers, but there are a few who like to make me look bad- er, clumsy at least. Which I am, I'll never be able to argue with you about that at least."

"I didn't bruise, you can argue any which way you please." Lily laughed and turned to look at him now. 

"Thank you," She said, because she needed to tell him that she appreciated him. "I don't know how you're managing to stay so calm about everything, but it helps." He nodded. 

"I'm used to a bit of chaos," 

"I'd prefer less of it, if I'm being honest."

"Less, sure, but not none. No chaos wouldn't be any fun either."

She laughed again and then nodded in agreement. "That's what I keep Mary around for I suppose." James laughed now. 

"Yes, that girl seems to be made of chaos. I think she and my mate will get along."

"We're talking about Sirius again?"

"I suppose we are." He nodded. "When you do meet him, don't tell him that I brought him up twice in as many days. He'll tease me about missing him for years."

Lily smiled at him. "It's good to have friends who tease us, but I suppose this can be a secret if you'd like."

"Good, the first of many."

She looked at him again with a raised brow. "And what do you mean by that?"

James ran a hand through his hair and looked as though he was trying to work out what he had meant. "Well, we're probably going to get married in a few weeks, yes? We'll end up keeping all kinds of secrets together. I won't tell anyone when you accidentally trip into me, and you won't tell Sirius when I wax poetic about him. Probably a couple other things as well." Lily laughed again and shook her head. 

But she did like the idea of being able to keep secrets with James. He wouldn't tell anyone when she did something embarrassing, and she could complain about parliament to him and unlike her grandmother, he wouldn't (or at least he hadn't yet) tell her to just keep trying or to soften herself a bit more. And unlike Mary, he hadn't pretended to fall asleep. 

"I'll keep your secrets if you keep mine," She stuck her hand out in his direction and something glinted in his eyes as he leaned forward and wrapped her hand in his. 

"It's a deal, princess."

"It's a deal," She repeated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to review! As I was telling some friends earlier, I'm in need of validation pls and thnx <3 <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I get up a little earlier today so that SOMEONE wouldn't harass me about how the chapter wasn't up yet? Perhaps. But I'm also on vacation and had to make due with the little time I had to edit and post this chapter.   
Enjoy!

The charity tea had started off well. She'd remembered everyone's names, only relying on James' help a handful of times. She hadn't tripped over anyone or hit anyone in the face, so it was already going better than yesterday. She also found herself charmed by the way that James seemed to float around the room with ease, transferring from one conversation to the next with no difficulty. There were no awkward lulls, and while she knew that he’d been at this a lot longer than she had, she was still impressed. 

They stayed near one another, but Lily knew from the beginning that she would not get the kind of first date that would sweep her off her feet or make her heart jump to her throat. She was not expecting that. As she’d told Mary, this was not a fairy tale. 

She was standing with the prime minister and his wife, listening to them tell her about their youngest daughter’s current endeavors with swimming, but she was watching James laugh with a ruddy old man who she had never seen smile before today. She would have to ask him how he'd managed that, because he’d now managed that with both Moody and this man and managing to make people smile when they normally didn’t seemed like a skill that would make life easier for Lily. 

"Your highness," Lily thought that the Prime Minister had been calling her attention back after noticing it had drifted, but when she blinked and looked around her, it was Bertram who had said her name. Lily noticed the Prime Minister stand up a little straighter and she wondered if Bertram had interrupted Gorden. She wouldn’t be surprised. 

He looked even better than he had that morning, his hair set, his eyes bright and contrasted against the dark blue shirt he was wearing. Lily clenched her jaw and took a breath through her nose. It wasn’t fair that he was this good looking. People shouldn’t get to look better on the outside than they were good on the inside. 

"Lord Aubrey." She nodded in his direction, mindful to keep her torso facing Gorden and his wife as not to intentionally initiate conversation with this stranger of a man who aspired to steal her crown. 

"And prime minister," Bertram reached out for the minister's hand. "It's so good to see you and your lovely wife again," He winked at her and Lily saw her cheeks turn pink. She was not surprised, but she wanted to tell her to get a grip anyway. Bertram was not the kind of person that you could show any weakness to, and admitting that he was attractive would be admitting a weakness. 

"I heard that you were staying at the castle," Gorden said, putting an arm around his wife. "I find that a bit strange, if I'm being honest."

"Your honesty is one of the things the people love most about you, Prime Minister." Bertram smiled, flashing almost all his teeth. Lily thought of a bear or a mountain lion. Whatever he was, he was not here to make friends. "And yes, the future queen here did invite me to stay in the castle." He gestured to Lily, and she had to force the scowl she felt building, to remain off her face. 

Before she could respond though, Mealin spoke up from her husband's side. "I got the impression that Lord Rosier was the one that wanted you in the castle and the princess here only invited you to appease him and a handful of others." 

Lily's smile was genuine now, she internally apologized for thinking that Mealin didn’t have a grip on the situation. Of course she wasn’t turned into a useless puddle just because Bertram smiled at her. Lily had to press her lips together to keep from laughing, but Gorden laughed. 

"Oh darling, that can't be right, or he wouldn't have accepted the invitation, right Lord Aubrey?" Gorden's face grew more serious as he looked the young lord over, and while Anita had not been able to break through his fasqued this morning, Gorden seemed to have struck a cord. 

"Of course, sir." Lily smiled at the three of them. “I think that I am staying at the castle to appease more than just Lord Rosier, or as you’ve pointed out, that wouldn’t be fine manners.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and nodded. “There might have been a few more members of parliament that wanted you to stick around should I drop my crown.” She reached up and brushed her fingertips over her tiara. 

“It looks too lovely atop your head to fall, your highness.” Mealin smiled at her, reaching out and taking her free hand. 

"Thank you.” Lily nodded, squeezing her hand lightly before letting go. “And it's been lovely catching up with the two of you, but I think I should find James now. This is our first outing together and all.” Should she have kept that to herself? Was that not something that everyone should know? She had said outing and not date, perhaps it didn’t matter. 

She looked around for a reporter, but then Gorden called her attention back to him. 

"Yes! I was glad to hear that the two of your are seeing each other. He was a bit of a rapscallion as a child, but he's grown into a fine young man. His parents and I are old friends."

Lily had already known that Gorden was old friends with the Lord and Lady Potter, but she grinned. "A rapscallion, eh? I'll have to ask him about that."

"Oh yes," Mealin grinned. "He and his friends would get into all sorts of trouble. Mainly it was just good fun. He was always looking for a laugh." 

“He’s a good man,” Gorden grinned. “Just like his father.” 

“I was going to say that he’s just like his mother.” Mealin chuckled. “Either way, Monty and Mia got into their fair share of trouble when they were younger as well. Though I believe their brand of trouble was more closely related to social justice than James’. But anyway, we won’t keep you.” 

“We’ll see you at the state dinner, Princess.” Gorden bowed his head and Mealin linked her arm through his. 

The couple excused themselves and Lily had every intention of ignoring Bertram entirely, but he started talking before she could walk away, and she still would have walked off if he hadn't said what he did. "Looking for a laugh? Perhaps that's what he's doing now, entertaining the idea that he'll be the next king." 

Lily turned back around and drew herself up like her grandmother had taught her, but she didn't have a witty comeback on the tip of her tongue. "King consort." She said, trying no to deflate to much when it didn’t land even a little bit. 

"Oh, right." Bertram grinned, tilting his head to the side. He knew how good looking he was, perhaps that's why it got under her skin that she found him attractive. 

She wasn't going to back down though, no matter how many smiles he threw her way. She wasn’t some weak-willed flower that he could coax into the palm of his hand. 

"If you and I got married," He said after a beat, taking a small step toward her. "I wouldn't be the king consort. You and I would share the burden of the throne equally."

It took her a minute to realize that he had actually just said that, outloud, somewhere that other people might have overheard. She could see tomorrow's headlines now, ' _ Lord Aubrey's latest attempt for the throne: Proposing to the Princess!'  _

"Shh," She thwacked his arm and looked around them, her heart inching its way up her throat. "Do not just go around saying stuff like that." 

For the first time since she met him, he looked a bit reproachful, "I was only joking, there's no need to-"

"I know that you weren't suggesting anything, but you know as well as I do that if a reporter heard you say that, they wouldn't care if you were genuine or not."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "You are right. You just make me careless with my words, I suppose." He looked around them now, and Lily narrowed her brow. What game was this kid playing?

"I make you careless with your words?"

"Yes," He nodded, looking back at her. "You must get that a lot though."

"No," She wasn't going to bite. She looked over her shoulder, James was still talking to someone with his back to her. She looked back at Bertram and realized he was closer to her than she had realized. She took a small step back. “No,” She repeated. “I’ve never had anyone tell me that they can’t be conscientious of their words around me.”

"You're beautiful, of course men don't know how to talk to you." And it sounded as though his voice was winking at her, though he looked the picture of innocence. 

She kept her brows narrowed and crossed her arms. He didn't care if she wanted to play whatever game he was at, he was going to force her into the game. Well, fine then.

"Of course," She deadpanned. "I forgot that men are incapable of logical thinking around women. That must be why there are so few women in our parliament." So few women to take her side, or to give her a chance. “That must be why you have been a complete and utter  _ arse  _ since you got to the castle.” She lowered her voice, her hands at her sides. “That must be why Lord Rosier looks completely baffled every time I’m able to get more than three of the men in his boys club to agree with me.” Bertram clearly hadn’t been expecting this reaction, which in his defence, he probably didn’t get a lot. Lily was kind of proud of herself for the surprised look on his face though. 

"I don't know about that-"

"I'm going to find, James." She said, and then she walked away without waiting for his response, she had already wasted too much time on him and she didn’t know that she’d get to walk away on a high note if she stayed any longer. 

He followed her for a moment, but she didn't listen to anything he said and when she spotted James, she doubled her speed and Bertram was forced to give up. 

James was a bit surprised to see her coming at him so quickly, but he only smiled and offered her his arm. "Are you alright?"

"Bertram accosted me, but I handled it." She looked up at him and realized that he was a stranger to her, and despite that, he was still a comfort after dealing with Bertram. "Actually I just ran away after quietly yelling at him."

“Quietly yelling,” James put a hand on top of the hand that she had resting on his arm and laughed quietly. "Sometimes running away is the best way to deal with someone like him."

Lily smiled appreciatively, glad once again that he answered in a way that didn't make her feel the need to hide the truth from him. He didn’t try and correct her or tell her what he would have done in her place. She was determined to remain honest with him about everything that she could. They could keep secrets together, but she didn't want to start keeping secrets from him. Not if they were going to build a life together. 

She took a deep breath and let some of the tension fall out of her shoulders. "So, the Prime Minister and his wife were telling me a bit about you while I was talking to them."

"Oh yes, they're old family friends." 

"They mentioned that. They also said that you were a bit of a terror in your youth?"

James laughed again and Lily heard the cameras go off. She bit down on the tip of her tongue and forced herself to keep looking at James, not to look over where the sound had come from. It had to be a nice picture of the two of them, Lily looking up at him with a sly grin and him laughing. A nice shot to tell the story of how they had fallen in love so quickly. 

James realized that she wasn't listening fairly quickly and nodded in the direction of the gardens. "How about some fresh air," 

"My speech-"

"Is in twenty minutes." He said, checking his watch. "We'll only step out for a few minutes."

“It’s cold out-”

“It’s not that bad.” He shrugged.

She nodded and held his arm more tightly as he led her toward the door. 

The camera flashed again and Lily hummed. Everything was an implication. Them laughing or sneaking away. It all got to mean whatever the person writing the column wanted it to mean and Lily knew that she would never be comfortable with that.

"I'm sorry," She said after the glass door had shut. It was chilly out, but he had been right, it wasn’t all that bad. "I know that I let them get to me, I just don't know how to not let them get to me. I feel like I'm living in a bubble. And every day, they get to decide if they're going to pop it, and when they do pop it, I have to run around and try and keep myself afloat." 

"That is a metaphor that you've used before." James grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "And of course they make you uncomfortable. It takes time to build up a callus where the press is involved. I've had my entire life to adjust, you've only been in the spotlight for a few years.

"Also, you shouldn't apologize for feeling uncomfortable about something. Especially not with me. I'm here to help you, not to make you feel guilty."

Lily blinked at him and her frown deepened for a moment. And then quite suddenly, she felt the urge to cry, moved by his empathy. She pressed her lips together tightly and looked down at the ground. 

"What are you thinking?" 

"I'm thinking that you can't actually be this nice." Lily sighed. She almost rubbed the heels of her hands against her eyes, but then caught herself. She had makeup on, she wasn't allowed to go back into this event a smudged mess. "Especially not when I picked you out of a stack, nearly at random." James reached out and rubbed her arm, looking unsure of whether he was doing too much or not enough. It made her feel slightly better to see him feeling unsure. They were in a weird situation and he wasn’t completely immune to it.

"You didn't pick me at random." James grinned, his free hand going back to his hair. Perhaps that was a nervous tick of his. "You picked me because I went to Oxford." He joked and Lily was grateful, the tears that had been threatening to fall retreated as she laughed.

"Right, Oxford." She nodded and then put her hand on top of his. "Is that when you stopped getting into trouble?" Because she did want to know what he’d been telling her back inside. 

"Oh no," James shook his head. "I nearly got kicked out three or four times.” Lily’s eyes widened. 

"Sirius's doing?" 

"You brought him up this time," He grinned, pointing his finger at her. "But no. I mean, I can fully blame him with one of those times, but I can get into trouble with or without him. It's a skill that I’ve honed all on my own." 

"Oh?" Lily laughed again. "And how long did it take for you to get really good at getting into trouble?"

"Not long at all," He smirked. "I excelled at it from the start, really." 

"Your parents must be so proud," She grinned. 

"The proudest." James chuckled. "Actually, I sometimes think they're too proud of me. I really did get into a lot of trouble as a kid." 

"Well, it's not a bad thing to have our parents overlook stunts we pulled when we were younger and stupider. It's the only way to be friends with them now, right?"

"Oh? Are you going to pretend that you frequently got into trouble as a child?"

Lily took in his teasing grin and crossed her arms over her chest, feeling something in her chest start to settle as she let out a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing again. "My brand of trouble was probably vastly different from yours, but Mary has been my friend since we started primary, so I was familiar with the detention room. Mum was always lenient though. Maybe too lenient."

"I think you turned out alright."

Lily chuckled, "Yeah, well I guess I was referring to my older sister." 

"You have a sister?" James' tilted his head, "I didn't know that."

"Half sister. We were close until we found out that I'm a princess and the hindsight kicked in and my mother had done everything wrong while raising us and my sister wanted nothing more to do with me."

"She's jealous?" James' brow furrowed, "Does she know how miserable you make yourself over this job sometimes?"

Lily clicked her tongue. "I don't make myself miserable. And she knows nothing about the job, I haven't spoken to her in years."

"We're getting wildly off track here," James ran a hand through his hair yet again and Lily smiled. 

"What track are we supposed to be on?"

"Never you mind." He smiled back. 

“Fine,” She shrugged, “Why do you play with your hair so much?"

"I don't. I play with my hair a normal amount."

"Do you though?"

"Yes."

"I don't think so."

"You're quite argumentative."

"Someone should have warned you about that."

And then someone knocked on the glass door and the bubble that James had made around them popped. She felt the cold again, and quite suddenly she had goosebumps. Lily squared her shoulders again and held up a finger to let them know that she was on her way. "Thank you for taking me out here."

"It helped then?"

"Yes, you don't make me nearly as nervous as I had thought you would."

"I think that's a good thing." His hand was back in his hair and she wondered if she made him nervous. She couldn’t help but remember what Bertram had said about her making it hard for him to speak around her. James didn’t seem to have that problem, even though he’d told her that she was beautiful. "Alright, time to give a speech." 

James' fingers brushed against hers as they walked back toward the door, and she thought for a moment that he was going to hold her hand, but then his hand went to her upper back, which was nice, but somehow disappointing. It felt more like it was for show.

And then she was hyper aware of the cameras again. Because the hand on her back probably was for them more than it was for her. 

She lived in a fishbowl and sometimes she forgot how to swim. 

She had been unintentionally quiet on the ride back to the castle, and had then excused herself to her room to wait until dinner. 

She had been hoping to find Mary in her room, but wasn't really disappointed to find it empty. She had mainly just wanted to yell at Mary for spying on her earlier. But it would only have frustrated Lily more, because no matter how many times she tried to explain to her best friend  _ why  _ she hated it so much when Mary lurked behind curtains or hid in the back of a room, she didn't seem to get it. 

She had enough people sneaking around for a glimpse of something she didn't want to share, she didn't need Mary to do it as well. 

She huffed and fell face first onto her bed, reaching up for the pillow and covering her head with it. 

_ She could do this. She could marry a stranger for her country. She could stay in her fishbowl willingly and not drown in the process.  _

If she repeated that to herself enough, then maybe she would be able to breathe again. 

She stayed with her head under her pillow until her maids found her about an hour later. Lily cringed when she heard them walk into the room unannounced, quietly. She bit her lip to keep herself from lashing out. 

"Should we help you dress for dinner?" Amelia asked, her voice hesitant. Lily bit her lip before pushing the pillow away and looking over at them.

"I'm sorry that I've been so short with the two of you."

"Not to fret, princess." Gwen bowed. "We know that you have a lot on your plate. Too many new faces at once would stress out anyone."

Lily nodded. "That's not it exactly, but I do appreciate you being so understanding. What should I wear to dinner?"

"We've picked out a nice floral dress. Nothing too fancy, but we’ll dress you up a bit since we have guests." Gwen smiled at her. 

"Thank you, I'm sure it's perfect." Lily got up from the bed and paused before heading to her dressing room. "Do you two think it would be alright if you started knocking before you came into my room?" She asked, she didn't have the power to change everything that was frustrating her, but this she could change.

"Yes!" Amelia nodded, "Of course, princess!"

Lily smiled back and forth between both of them and then headed off to get changed. 

Lily first noticed Mary's absence from the table. 

Perhaps her best friend had noticed her annoyance with her from earlier and was staying away to let it wear off. But leaving her to dine with Lord Aubrey and James was not a good way to make Lily forget that she was angry with her. 

She sat at her grandmother's right hand side, and James was seated to her right. Bertram was across from them. 

"You were late." Anita said with a pointed look. 

"I don't think so," Lily grinned at her. "What is it you say about royalty not being able to be late and all that."

"That only stands for queens." Anita said, though her eyes were narrowed, they were soft and Lily knew that her grandmother did not actually mind her tardiness. 

“I’m in training.” 

She smiled at James, who was giving her a look that bordered on concerned, she almost asked him what was wrong, but the Bertram reminded her of his unwelcome presence. 

"I thought the speech you gave today was just wonderful," She turned her head away from James and narrowed her eyes, wondering what the catch was going to be. 

"Thank you," She said after a moment had gone by and he hadn't added any qualifiers. "It's a cause that I care about a great deal."

"Yes," Bertram nodded, "That was very apparent. I think your words helped some of the guests dig a bit deeper into their pockets than they would have otherwise. Hopefully it goes a long way for all those kids."

Lily nodded, waiting for him to say something that would make her want to throw something at his head again, but he didn't. Which she supposed made a little bit of sense, after all, they were talking about orphans, and even giant prats could be kind when it came to needy children. Sometimes. He may be trying to steal her crown, but it was somehow reassuring to know that he wasn't completely heartless. 

"Yes, we have worked closely with the children's center for the last few years, Lily championing the cause. I like to think that we've managed to make a positive impact on the lives of the children." Anita would always be better at hiding her emotions than Lily would, and so she didn't even sound a little suspicious of Bertram. Lily was impressed. 

"My mother used to take me to the center after church," Bertram looked down at his empty plate and fiddled with the edge of his napkin. "We would spend a few hours there, she'd read to them. She was almost always hoarse by the time we left." The smile on his face was not one that Lily had thought him capable of. It was soft, a little sad, and not at all pretentious.

"She was an exceptionally kind soul," Anita said, reaching over and patting Bertram on the back of his hand. "Her loss is still felt by so many people."

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and tried to quell the wave of empathy she suddenly felt for this man across from her. She'd lost her father, but she hadn't really known him. A letter or a gift here and there over the course of her childhood and that was all. She couldn't fathom losing her mother. Or her grandmother. 

"Do you still go there?" Lily asked, her voice a bit quieter than she had meant it to be. Bertram looked up and cleared his throat. 

"I haven't been- I tried-" He shook his head. "It's been too long since I've gone." He admitted. 

No one seemed to know what to say after that, and they were saved from having to work it out because the doors opened and the first course of their meal was brought out to them. 

Lily went for a walk around the castle to hunt Mary down after dinner. It was a much calmer affair than she had prepared herself for, Bertram actually seemed as though he were capable of being a semi-pleasant human being now. She didn't know if perhaps someone had influenced his original behavior somehow, or if he had just been nervous. 

Perhaps he had gone into the situation thinking that it wouldn't matter how he behaved, that Lily and Anita wouldn't like him anyway just because some of the members of parliament wanted to see him crowned, rather than Lily. 

And that was a fair assumption, Lily hadn't spent too much time thinking about him after she'd heard that he was going to stay with them, but what she had thought hadn't been entirely kind. They were caught in the middle of a fight that neither of them asked to be a part of though, and perhaps Lily had been harsh in judging him.

And then she turned the corner and he was sitting on a couch, reading a book, completely oblivious to Lily's presence.

She must have willed him into being there by thinking about him. 

"What are you reading?" She asked, unable to see the title of the book from across the corridor. 

She should have cleared her throat first though, because as soon as she started speaking, Bertram jumped about a foot in the air and dropped his book, his hand going to his heart. It was such a cartoonish reaction that Lily couldn't help but start laughing. 

"I am so sorry," She said, walking over to pick his book up off the floor. "I didn't mean to frighten you." 

"Princess," Bertram nodded at her and shook his head. "You nearly gave me a heart attack." But he was smiling too, and when she handed him back his book, he started laughing as well. 

Lily took a deep breath and schooled her features, taking a seat on the couch and looking over at him. "I think that you and I started off on the wrong foot." She said after he had composed himself as well. "I was determined not to like you at all because Lord Rosier told me that you should have my crown, and now I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, because coming into a place that you know you're not going to be liked isn't easy." She didn’t know why offering this olive branch was so easy.

"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Bertram' smile was easy, charming but not purposefully so. Lily preferred this smile to the one that she'd seen him use previously. 

"Oh, I don't know about that," She said, thinking about how she felt every time she walked into parliament. Like she had to prepare for a fight that no one else knew was going to take place, like she was going up against a couple dozen men who only wanted to see her bleed. 

“Well still, I should have given it an honest go instead of just letting you all hate me. Made it a little hard at least.” He turned to face her fully and set his book behind him on the bench. “You should know that I did not want to come here any more than you wanted me here. I didn’t know that I was second in line- third? Are you second? It doesn’t matter- I didn’t know until about a week ago. I had no plans to be king, and I still have no plans to be king. I fully expect you to be coronated within the month, no matter what Lord Rosier wants.” 

Lily had been holding her breath since he’d set his book down and let out a slow breath when he was finished speaking. “Oh.” She felt like that was a stupid reaction to what he’d just told her, but she didn’t know how to respond. “Well, thank you.” 

Bertram grinned again and nodded. “You’re welcome.” Lily got the feeling that he thought her thanks was a bit strange, and she agreed with him. 

“I just meant, thanks for having faith in me I suppose.” She tried to elaborate, but still felt like she was shoving her foot into her mouth. “Aside from my grandmother, I don’t get a lot of encouragement around here- Not that I’m asking for any. Having faith in myself is just as important.” 

He picked up his book again and nodded his head, turning back to look at the wall across from them. “What about James? Does he have faith in you? That seems like it would be important.” 

“Well I only just met him yesterday, but I think he does. And if he doesn’t, he’s very good at faking it.” She smiled at him. 

Bertram didn’t smile back though, he just quirked the corner of his mouth and nodded. “It’s not fair what parliament is making you do.” His voice got quieter. “Everyone deserves the chance to fall in love.” 

Lily’s heart felt as though it jumped into her throat and then settled back into her chest off rhythm. She didn’t like hearing her own thoughts echoed back to her like that. Not from him at least.

She gave him a tight lipped smile and stood up, “Yes, well, there’s really no point in dwelling on that. James and I will be plenty happy together. Perhaps we’ll even fall in love. We’ve certainly got time in which to do so.” She tried to believe the words, tried to ignore the small voice in her head telling her that she would always be questioning James’ motives and scincerities because he had to be here same as she did. 

Things could be nice between them, but neither of them had chosen to be here. 

“Goodnight, Bertram.” She waved a stiff hand at him and started off down the corridor. 

A soft grip on her arm slowed her down and spun her around until she was staring at Bertram’ chest. “I didn’t mean to upset you, princess.” Lily looked up at him, his wide eyes looking worried and curious. “I only wanted you to know that I sympathize with your position.” 

Her heart was in her throat again, but she didn’t know the reason for it this time. “Well thank you,” She gave him another tight smile and then took a step back, realizing that they were far too close to be considered appropriate. 

“If you ever need someone to talk to- someone that is going to disappear from your life in less than a month...” He let his hand fall back to his side and took a step back as well. “You know where to find me.”

She nodded, her smile a little less tight now, “Thank you again.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to review! I feel like I need to evil laugh a bit, but I'll save that for later :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another weekend, another chapter. I think I like this chapter, but I also think that you'll all love next weeks chapter. Because next week is when we get to meet the marauders!
> 
> Enjoy!

Lily donned a sporty look the next morning, as she and James were meant to play badminton in the gardens after breakfast. Mary had told her about a dozen times that she should tone down her competitive nature during the first few games at least. Perhaps work up to letting him see just how ridiculous she could be. 

Lily had informed her that she had to pretend to be a perfectly normal and balanced human being for the rest of the world, she would not spare her future husband from her competitive nature. 

Mary had rolled her eyes and then asked if she could borrow one of Lily’s crowns. She would not say for what.

Breakfast was a much more pleasant affair than it had been the previous day. 

They were halfway through breakfast when she realized that James hadn’t said anything apart from ‘good morning’ when she’d first arrived. 

She turned to him and smiled. “Are you ready to lose?” 

Mary scoffed from across the table, for she had taken it upon herself to seat herself at the queen’s other side, leaving Bertram to sit across from James. 

James’ eyes widened considerably and he set down his fork, turning toward her. “Excuse me?” Lily almost apologize, almost started envisioning the conversation that she would have with Mary later where Mary would dance around her telling her that she had been right and that Lily was wrong. But then James went on, “I’ll have you know that I have been playing badminton since I could walk. I played in my pretentious boarding school, and then I played again at university. I am not going to lose. You are.” And then, “Princess.” It was said as an afterthought, as though, for just a moment, he had forgotten who he was speaking to.

Lily felt like she had won something, and also like she needed to blow a raspberry at Mary. But instead she just grinned widely at this person who really should not yet have the nerve to speak to her like that. “Lily.” She corrected, “And your trash talk is terrible.” 

“That wasn’t trash talk, I was just laying out the facts for you.” 

“Oh, were you?” Lily pursed her lips, a sore attempt at hiding the smile that was threatening to split her face. 

"You know," Bertram spoke up and Lily looked away from James' infectious smirk. "I've never seen two people get so worked up over badminton. Perhaps you are perfect for each other after all." He nodded his glass in Lily's direction before taking a drink, and she didn't think that he'd meant to, but he'd sucked most of the lighthearted playfulness out of the room with that comment. 

Because what was she supposed to say now. She was getting married to James at the end of the month, so she didn't want to disagree, but she didn't want to agree either. She'd known James for three days.

"Yes, well most good love stories start with a thrilling saga of badminton competitions." Mary shrugged, glaring at Bertram. 

"Yes, that's exactly how my parents met." James smiled at Mary and then picked up his own glass and took a drink. 

Lily narrowed her brow and looked at James. "I can't tell if you're joking or not."

James chuckled and shook his head. "I am joking. My parents met when they were children. They went to school together." 

"That's pretty cute." Mary grinned. "My mum met my dad in a pub and then forgot his name, so I've never met him." 

Lily snorted, barely stopping orange juice from coming out her nose. "That is a downright lie."

"Okay, fine." Mary looked at Bertram and then at James. "My mother used to be an acrobat for the London Circus. My father was one of the clowns." She glared at Lily. "Are you happy now?"

"Your parents are the sweetest, most adorable people on the planet, and they would be heartbroken to hear you butcher their love story so completely." 

Mary scowled. "Do you want me to start with 'once upon a time?'"

"If you're going to do it right-"

"I'm afraid, as lovely as this story is," Lily had forgotten that her grandmother was still there, "We do not have time to hear it. Mary and I have an appointment across town that we should have left for ten minutes ago." She straightened up the stack of paper that she had been working on. 

"You and Mary?" Lily asked, confused about what appointment the two of them would have together. 

"We're getting our hair done." Mary lied. 

"Yes," Her grandmother agreed. "And I'm sure that Lord Aubrey has many things to attend to. So I suggest that you and James finish up your breakfast and play your game before you're expected in meetings this afternoon." She stood up and Lily stood up as well. 

"What are you and Mary really doing?" She asked. 

"We're getting our hair done."

"We have people come here to do our-"

"Are you suggesting that I'm lying to you?" Anita raised her brow, and Lily thought about calling her out on it, because of course she was lying, but she shrugged and sat back down. 

"I suppose I'll see when you get back." And then she picked up her fork and stuffed some eggs into her mouth. 

"Lord Aubrey, why don't you walk us out?" Anita asked, offering him her arm. Lily saw the two of them look at one another for a long moment and then Bertram put his fork down and took the Queen's arm. 

"I suppose I'm full now anyway." He grinned over at Lily and she smiled back. 

It wasn't until they had all left the room together that Lily realized that her grandmother had went about all of that to give James and her some time alone. She had even dragged Bertram and Mary out as well. 

"She's very subtle." Lily chuckled, taking another bite of her eggs. 

"Oh? So you know where she's going?" James asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"I'm not sure that she's going anywhere." She put down her fork. "But she knows how to clear a room."

James looked around as though he hadn't noticed until now that they were alone. "Ah," He nodded. "I see what you mean. Well that was nice of her."

Lily thought of how her grandmother had snapped at her. "I suppose."

"Well, most of the time that we get to spend together-"

"I didn't mean to suggest that it wasn't nice of her to give us time to ourselves," She interrupted. "Only that she didn't have to snap at me in the process. They’re not getting their hair done."

James nodded, relaxing against the back of his chair. Almost slouching. Lily had never seen him sit like that. "Has she always been a bit more… severe?" 

"Yes." Lily nodded. "I love her dearly, and I know that she loves me, but she doesn't say it all that often. And she has a different way of showing it." 

"That seems very different from you." 

Lily nodded. "Yes, I suppose I'm a bit more open about those things." She cleared her throat and shrugged. “Those things being feelings I suppose. I’m not great at being open about them, but I’m not nearly so closed off as my grandmother.”

“It’s the generation.” 

“Are your grandparents the same way?” 

“No, my parents.” He grinned. “Though they do tell me they love me an awful lot, they are nearly as old as your grandmother.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I was both a miracle baby, and a very planned baby.” 

“Probably why they feel comfortable enough to tell you that they love you.” 

“Probably.” 

“My gran didn’t know about me until six months after I was born and then she was just uncomfortable with the possible scandal of it all. But she’s always in my corner when we go into parliament now, telling them that she believes I’m capable and worthy of running this country.” She took a deep breath. “It’s terrifying to hear her speak like that though.” 

“Fondly of you?” 

Lily laughed. “I told you, she’s closed off.” She stood up. “Let’s go and play some badminton.” 

“Alright, but I’d like to warn you again, that I will not let you win simply because I want you to like me.” 

“Well that’s good, because if I think that you’re letting me win- because I will win- I will not be very happy with you. It would be a poor strategy on your part.”

“It’s lucky that we’re both stupidly competitive.” 

Lily laughed again. 

What was supposed to be a friendly game, turned into a competitive tournament. Which should have surprised no one, given Lily’s history with any sort of should-have-been-friendly games. 

They’d been playing for nearly an hour and hadn’t finished their first game yet. They were close though, currently both having twenty nine points. Whoever scored the next point would win the game. 

James shook out his arm, fiddling with the birdy in his other hand, “You know, we’re supposed to play three matches.”

“We’re not going to have time for that today.” Lily grinned, stretching out her racket arm as well. She never got to do anything like this for this long, and it felt good to stretch her legs a bit, to feel her lungs ache with effort. 

And James, as he had promised, had proven himself to be a worthy opponent. He hadn’t done anything to make her think that he was holding back, and he was matching her point for point. 

“This is nice,” She said before he served. She didn’t explain everything she was thinking, she didn’t feel that she had too. He was a political figure in their small country as well, more so now, but he’d grown up in the spotlight that she was still getting used to. 

“It is.” He agreed, “We’ll have to make a habit of it.” 

Lily smiled, noticing that this was the first time anyone had mentioned that she and James were bound together for the foreseeable future where her stomach didn’t tighten. Nor did her heart rate pick up, though that could have been because it was already pretty high from running around the court for the last hour. She found that she didn’t mind the idea of making a habit out of this with James. That was a nice thought, actually. 

Badminton, of all things. 

She shook her head, “Yeah, we will. That way I can properly trounce you.” 

“Right, even if you do win, you realize that it will only be by one point in the sudden death match, yes?” 

“Sounds like you’ve already accepted that you’re going to lose, James,” She teased, getting into position. 

“You’re impossible, aren’t you?” He asked, pushing his glasses up his nose with his shoulder before tossing the birdie in the air and hitting it with his racket. 

It bounced easily over the net and they vollied back and forth for a few minutes before she heard a familiar sound. She bit her tongue and tried to ignore it, knowing that someone would take care of it, and not wanting to lose. 

“Princess Lily! Princess! Look over here!” Clicks and flashes and more shouting followed.

She missed the birdie and swore under her breath, turning her back to the fence that surrounded the entirety of the castle grounds. “That didn’t count,” She very nearly stomped her foot as people continued to call for her attention, she heard James’ name peppered in there as well. 

“I think it might have,” James set down his racket and stepped over the net, walking up to her. “There’s no need to be a sore loser.” 

“Oh piss off,” She muttered, it was a reflex really. Because on top of being stupidly competitive, she was also a sore loser, just as he’d accused her of. But she didn’t want to speak to James like that, not yet. She had only just met him, she didn’t need to be a git so soon. “I’m sorry,” She tried to smile at him. She could hear security talking to the reporters now, as well as the continuous clicks and flashes of the cameras. 

“For losing?” He asked, and his smile looked so easy she wondered if perhaps he hadn’t noticed the reporters at all. “There’s no need to apologize, everyone loses sometimes. Not me, of course, but everyone else.” 

He had to have noticed them, perhaps he was just trying to show her that they didn’t have to act differently just because they were there, or that they didn’t have to pause their lives every time they showed up. 

But she didn’t know how to ignore them, she didn’t know how to act natural when people were shouting for her attention. She didn’t know how to be okay with everyone outside of the castle forgetting that she was human, same as everyone else. 

“Come on, let’s go and get you something cool to drink. It might help console your ego.” He threw an arm around her shoulders and led her off toward the castle. 

She frowned, but refrained from looking back over her shoulder. 

“I would have won if they hadn’t showed up like that.” 

“I think you’ve been in the spotlight too long now to use that as an excuse.” 

“It’s not an excuse, it’s the truth.” She sounded more frustrated than she wanted to because she didn’t like being this affected by the reporters. She knew that it was a part of the life, a part of the job. “How do you brush them off so easily? Doesn’t it feel like you just found someone watching you from inside your closet every time? And then just knowing that they’re going to take whatever pictures they got and whatever they heard and make up a story to go along with it, regardless of whether or not it’s even remotely true, how does that  _ not  _ give you hives?” 

James let his arm drop and stopped walking. Lily looked behind them now, just to make sure that they were no longer visible. 

“Well for starters, you can’t think of it all like that.”

“Wow, such sage wisdom.” She deadpanned, running her hands over her face. 

James laughed. “Lily,” Him saying her name made her look up at him. No titles, no formalities, just her name. “Tabloids are not the news. No one reads a story from a tabloid and thinks that it’s true.”

“I know that.” 

“You’ve read hundreds of them before, have you ever thought less of the people that are on the covers?” 

“No. I know they’re made up.” 

“And so does everyone else. I know that it’s frustrating, but something only has power over you if you allow it to have power over you.”

Lily nodded, because she knew that. Her grandmother had said, more or less, the same thing to her a number of times, she was pretty sure it was derivative of an Ellanore Roosevelt quote. “And we were having fun and I ruined it by getting all pissy with them.” 

“Is it ruined now?” He asked, raising a brow, his hand sneaking back into his hair. He was letting her make a different choice now, even though she’d snapped at him and swore at the press and lost their game because they had distracted her. 

“No,” She said, and her smile felt a little lighter now, a little less forced. Her shoulders dropped. “No, you’re right, we still had fun all morning, and that’s not ruined now.”

“Good.” He smiled again and then nodded toward the castle. “Now, should we get something to drink before we have to put on fancy clothes for our meetings?” 

She nodded and hooked her arm through his as they started back toward the doors. “You’re good at that.” 

“Badminton, I know.” He shrugged and she pinched his arm.

“No,” Though he was clearly very good at badminton. “Reframing things. And I appreciate that.” 

“Yes, well, you’ll find that there isn’t much I don’t excel at.” 

“Right, of course. Oxford.” 

“You’re the one who picked me out.” 

She laughed and as they walked back into the castle together, she thought about how nice it was to have another friend here. 

Parliament wasn’t in session today, but that didn’t mean that Lily didn’t have to meet with individual members for a good portion of the day. It was better to meet with them one on one than to meet with the entire chamber, because one on one she felt as though she was on level ground. It wasn’t an entire room of people against her, it was simply one person, and she could handle just one person. 

Quite a few members of Parliament had requested meetings with James as well, and Lily took that as a good sign and gave him an office in which he could conduct these meetings however he wanted to. It was next door to her own office, and she felt good about having him close. 

She felt less good when Lord Rosier walked into her office. 

She took a deep breath and then stood up, reaching out her hand. “Lord Rosier, a pleasure, as usual.” He took her hand and made a grunting sound that made it obvious that she wasn’t fooling anyone, nor did he find it necessary for her to try and fool him. 

“That boy is distracting you,” He said without any preamble. 

“Are you referring to Lord Potter,” She asked, taking her seat and clasping her hands together. She’d much rather get multiple root canals than take meetings with Lord Rosier. 

“Yes, that Potter boy. You were twenty minutes late today.” 

“You were not the first meeting I took today, Johnathan.” She pulled out her best mom voice, the one that cowed Mary after a late night of drinking and bad decisions. “I was meeting with Lord Slughorn and you know as well as anyone that meetings with him usually run long.”

“Sure, that’s why there are photos of you and Potter playing badminton all over the internet.” He scoffed. She wasn’t sure if she was more upset by the fact that he thought she was lying to him, or that he’d seen the pictures. 

“I will remind you of two things,” Lily held up one finger and leaned over her desk slightly. “One, what I do in my private time does not concern you or anyone else. James and I did enjoy a match this morning, but it concluded long before I was set to take any meetings. And secondly,” She let a second finger pop up, “I am getting to know James Potter at the behest of parliament. If I am going to marry him to appease a sexist and outdated rule, then he will not be a stranger to me on our wedding day.”

“It’s not a rule, princess. It is the law.” He narrowed his angry, bushy eyebrows. “And no one in their right mind thought you’d bring in  _ Lord  _ James Potter.”

“It is my choice who I marry.” Lily said, clasping her hands back together. 

“Yes, but we all thought that you might consider Lord Aubrey as an option.” 

Lily blinked at him, frozen for a moment. They wanted her to marry Bertram? 

Of course they wanted her to marry Bertram. 

“Lord Bertram has his own claim to the throne, if I married him, I would be giving up half of my power.” She didn’t need to explain that to him though, because that was what he wanted. 

“The people love, Lord Aubrey.”

“The people love, James.” Lily shot back, fighting the urge to shout and stand. 

“Yes, but you don’t.” 

“I’ve only just met him.” Lily took a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes for a beat. “Listen to me, Johnathan. I will not marry Bertram. I know that you like to tell your friends that I’m too young to be very bright, but I’m not stupid. I know that if I were to marry someone with a claim to the throne, you and your friends would have Parliament side with them over myself and I’d be demoted to a ceremonial figurehead before the year is out. You need to get used to the idea that I will be queen, and there will be no king.” 

“The law clearly states-”

“The law states that I must marry, not that whomever I marry must take the throne alongside me. My husband will be a king consort. Nothing more.” 

“And have you informed Lord Potter of this? He might be a little less inclined to sneak you away into secluded gardens if he knew what he was getting out of your little deal.” He had his arms crossed and he was slouching in his chair. He looked like a child. 

She had seen the pictures of her and James in the garden at the charity tea, but she  _ really  _ did not like knowing that Rosier seemed to be keeping tabs on her via the pictures that gossip mags posted. 

“Lord Rosier, perhaps you should spend a little less time with your nose in the tabloids and a little more time doing your job. That will be all.” 

She made it through the rest of her meetings without issue and managed to keep her cool even. James had finished before her, as she knew he would, and she needed to clear her head a bit before dinner, so she decided to go for a walk through the gardens. They were secluded for the most part, so the chance of being caught by a camera was slim.

She allowed herself to mutter angrily under her breath as she stomped over the crushed gravel. She pulled her coat tightly around her and shoved her hands into her pockets. 

“Too much time with James,” She kicked at a rock. “Stupid laws, stupid lords, give up my crown- ha!” She shook her head and very nearly ran into Bertram. He had his book again and he was rounding the same corner of the garden that she was. He wasn’t wearing a coat. 

She took a deep breath and tried not to hold him responsible for Johnathan Rosier’s plan to have Lily marry Bertram so she would lose her crown even though she followed the law. 

“Afternoon,” Bertram closed his book and let his hands fall behind his back. He looked more handsome than he had at breakfast if that was possible. Something about the sunlight dancing in his hair and bouncing off his eyes made him look a bit younger, a bit more playful. And parliament wanted her to marry him. 

Lily blushed and nodded, “Afternoon.”

“I thought I heard voices.” He said, looking over her shoulder and around the corner. “Just you?” 

“Yes,” She sighed. “I was talking to myself.” 

“Do you normally sound so angry when you’re talking to yourself?” 

“No, but I am the only one that I’m allowed to say whatever I need to say to, so it does happen sometimes.” That wasn’t completely true. She could say whatever she wanted to Mary. And her gran to some extent. 

“Well I promise not to tell all of parliament your concerns if you need a sounding board.” 

He really was far nicer than she gave him credit for at first. 

“It just feels as though they all want me to fail. Even though my succeeding would be far easier and better for the country, they want me to fail anyway.”

“Well you do have to try and look at things their way.” Bertram shrugged a shoulder. 

Lily stood up a little straighter and jutted out her bottom jaw ever so slightly. “And what is that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re young and untested, that’s all.” He said, but his ears were red and he was looking down at the ground. Lily took a deep breath and shook her head. 

“So are you, but I doubt one of them would make so much fuss if you were getting ready for your coronation.” 

“Well,” Bertram itched the back of his neck. “You do have to take into account certain… traditions.” 

“My grandmother has ruled successfully without a king at her side for the last thirty years, so which traditions are you talking about?” 

“She did, yes.” He nodded, looking her in the eyes now, imploring her to see things from a different point of view. Lily had no problem with that in most cases, but she got the feeling that she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. “But your father was going to be king. He only died a few years back, all those men in parliament were fine with the queen being a- well a stand in for him.” 

Lily’s jaw was clenched so hard she wouldn’t have been surprised if she chipped a tooth. “My grandmother is  _ not  _ a stand in for anyone.” 

“I never said that I agreed with their line of thinking-” Lily let out an indignant huff and spun on her heel. 

“No, no, you don’t agree, you just understand it and choose to defend it.” She could hear the gravel crunching behind her as Bertram followed. 

“I’m just trying to show you the situation differently than how you’ve been thinking about it. I mean, if you put yourself in their shoes, that could help you talk to them, yes?” 

“No, it won’t help me Bertram,” She stopped abruptly and spun back around to face him, nearly colliding with his chest again. She needed to stop almost running into people. She cleared her throat and looked up at him, “And do you know why? Because I am always going to be a woman. So I can be as understanding as a nursery school teacher, and as gentle and non-threatening as a lamb, and they’ll tell me I don’t have enough backbone. That I’m too soft. I can be assertive and commanding and they’ll call me shrew and hysterical. So while I appreciate the thought you put into helping me work out my problems, you can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be a woman trying to be in charge of a country where the old men can’t see beyond what’s on my chest.” 

She spun around again, feeling a sense of rightness in walking away, but Bertram reached out and took hold of her wrist, spinning her back around, she was very close to him now. She was flustered and she felt her cheeks flush for a second time. “You know, I can’t exactly blame them. Not entirely.” His voice was lower, and she knew it was a horrible line, but the look on his face was damn near otherworldly and she found herself  _ not  _ pulling away from him. 

They were too close to one another, and Lily’s breathing had hitched, and there was some kind of sparkle in his eyes that she hadn’t noticed before. She cleared her throat, “Well then I’ll just have to blame all of you myself then.”

“Don’t lump me in with them.” His warm hand was still on her wrist. She needed to step back, but her feet felt frozen to the ground. 

She didn’t know how long they would have continued to stand like that if one of her maids, Amelia, had not called out her name, sounding close enough to catch them standing too close to one another in the secluded garden. 

“Princess Lily?”

Lily jumped and she and Bertram both took a step back at the same time. It felt kind of like having a new co-conspirator, but not in a good way. In a way that gave her a stomach ache and made her feel like she was doing something wrong.

Lily blinked at Bertram and then he winked, spun on his heel and sauntered off, whistling some romantic sounding song. 

“There you are, your highness,” Amelia came around one corner as Bertram disappeared around the other. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?” 

Lily realized that she had a choice to make. She could confess that she hadn’t been alone a moment ago, that Bertram had been with her. But just the fact that she thought telling Amelia that constituted a ‘confession’ made her feel a bit sick to her stomach. 

“I just needed a bit of room to breath after some of the meetings that I took today.” She said, brushing her hands along the sides of her pleated skirt. It didn’t need straightening or brushing off, but Lily needed something to do with her hands. She also realized that she wasn’t making eye contact with Amelia. 

“Oh I know, some of those Lords are stuck in the nineteenth century. But if anyone can pull them into the future, it’s you, princess.” 

The juxtaposition of feeling very guilty for something she wasn’t sure about and getting praised so highly made her feel slightly nauseous. 

“Thank you, Amelia.”

“I’ve come to tell you that dinner is ready. Your gran asked you to join her privately in her chambers this evening.”

“Oh?” 

“Yes, I believe that Mary will be there as well.” Lily smiled at that, she liked the idea of having a dinner with just the three of them again. It had only been a few days since James and Bertram had arrived, but she felt like she needed some time with her family tonight. 

“Lord James’ friends arrived about an hour ago, so he won’t be spending the evening alone.” She added, and then took a step behind Lily so she could follow her back up to the castle. 

The guilty feeling grew in the pit of her stomach now as she realized that she hadn’t even considered what James’ dining options would be tonight if she was with her grandmother and Mary. 

“And Lord Bertram?” She asked. 

“He is traveling to his uncle’s estate for dinner tonight.” She answered. Lily nodded and then started moving her feet up the path. 

“I didn’t know that James’ friends were coming tonight.” 

“By the look on his face when he saw them, I don’t think he knew either, princess.” Amelia chuckled and Lily smiled and turned around because she felt like she was supposed to. 

"Well, from what he's told me about his friends, they should be a lot of fun to meet." Lily faced the castle again. "I do hope that Mary can play nice." 

"I am more worried about Lord Aubrey, myself, princess." Amelia said. "I've seen quite a bit online to suggest that Sirius Black and Lord Aubrey don't get along very well."

Lily ground her teeth together and then cleared her throat. "You know that you can't believe everything you see on the internet, Amelia."

"Oh, I know that," Amelia stepped up so she was walking by Lily's side for a moment, "But I was referring to Mr. Black's twitter."

"Oh." Lily narrowed her brow. "I wonder why they don't get along. Bertram is actually very nice, once you get to know him a bit."

"Of course, princess."

Lily didn't look back to see what she was refusing to say out loud. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to leave a review!


	5. Chapter 5

Lily had not gotten to enjoy the private dinner with Mary and her gran as much as she had wanted to. She kept thinking about the weird moment in the garden with Bertram. 

Sure, he was attractive, but Lily had never been one to lose her head over things like that before. He'd made a rude joke about her chest, he'd been trying to stand up for the sexist men in parliament who wanted to watch her fail, and yet she kept grinning to herself when she thought about him. 

She forced herself to frown and then tried to think about what James was doing with his friends just then. Were they all being supportive of his agreeing to this semi-fake courtship? Were they teasing him like Mary teased her? James didn't need to agree to this like Lily did. It might have been a familial obligation that he felt he had to uphold, but he wasn't going to lose his seat of power if he didn't marry Lily. He wouldn't lose what he'd worked so hard to achieve for the last six years. 

And Bertram just didn't understand how important this was to her, perhaps that's why he'd been trying to stick up for Lord Rosier and the like. He didn't know how hard she worked, or how late she normally stayed up, working on legislation and worrying over everything. He didn't know Lily, he didn't know what she stood for and how frustrating it was for her to be told no over and over again by a body of people who should have been working with her to better the lives of the people they governed. 

He probably saw what everyone normally saw when the first met her, and that was a silly little girl with a lot of big dreams and no real sense of reality. 

She would have to change his mind. She wasn't sure how she was going to change his mind, but she would. She would find him tomorrow and talk to him about-

She was supposed to be thinking about James.

She pushed open the door to her room and looked longingly at her bed. She’d been fantasizing about falling into a state of unconsciousness for the last two hours or so. 

But then Mary jumped out of her closet with a good natured, “Boo!” 

And Lily screamed. 

“What the bloody fucking hell is wrong with you!” Lily held a hand over her heart and fell back against the door, slamming it closed. Mary’s eyes went wide and then she started laughing so hard that she nearly fell over. Lily pressed her lips together and stepped forward, opening the door a crack, “I’m fine!” She called out, stopping the two men who were currently running down the corridor. “It was just Mary. She scared me for fun because she’s a bloody wanker.” 

One of the men cracked a smile and then they both turned to go back to their positions. 

“You’re going to get yourself kicked out of the castle one of these days, Mary.” Lily said, turning back to her room. 

“Nah, I’ve got an in with the future queen.” 

“She might not have much to say in your defence if you keep jumping out of her closet and scaring her to death.” 

“That’s the third time I’ve done that since we’ve moved in, I feel like you should stop being scared now.” 

“I don’t get to pick when I’m frightened of you,” Lily deadpanned, and then she grabbed her nightclothes off the end of her bed, where her maids had left them, and walked toward the bathroom. “Now, you know that I love you, but I was really looking forward to going to sleep.” 

Mary followed her into the bathroom and hopped up on the counter while Lily started taking her hair down and removing her makeup. “I know, and I promise I won’t be long.” But then she didn’t say anything more. 

Lily looked over at her with raised brows. “What is it?” 

“You didn’t mention the reporters from this morning when we were at dinner. Your gran and I were waiting for you to bring it up, but you didn’t.” 

Lily blinked and then turned back toward the mirror. “I suppose I forgot about that.”

“You forgot?” Mary didn’t sound like she believed Lily, but it was the truth.

“Yes, I forgot. A lot has happened today.” 

“Sure, but you also didn’t complain about Lord Rosier, and I know you had a meeting with him today.” 

“You’re making it sound like I complain a lot,” Lily put her makeup wipe down and settled a hand on her hip. “I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. To me and your gran you get to complain, and it makes you feel better so that you don’t start complaining to random people.” 

Lily bit the inside of her cheek. She’d complained to James and Bertram today. Would that make Mary jealous? 

“Do you fancy, James?” 

Lily was not expecting that question. That wasn’t what they were talking about, and quite frankly, it wasn’t relevant. 

“You think that’s why I forgot to complain about the reporters from this morning?” She asked. 

“Yes. And you kept smiling to yourself.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue now, because she’d been thinking about Bertram, not James, during dinner. 

“I don’t fancy, James. I’ve only just met him.” Lily said, thinking that she’d only just met Bertram as well.  _ He’s an arse,  _ she reminded herself,  _ possibly.  _

“Right,” Mary nodded. “I thought as much.” 

She was waiting for Lily to jump in and offer up something, so Lily sighed. “I complained about the reporters to James this morning. They shouted my name while I was going to hit the birdie and it made me lose the match. I was rightfully pissed, but he made me feel better about it.” She shrugged. “He reminded me that things were only ruined if I decided that they were ruined, and then he joked about how perfect he is and we had tea.” 

“Such a sweet little date,” Mary teased, wrapping her finger in one of her tighter curls. “He seems perfect.” 

“He’s as competitive as I am.” Lily laughed, “And I think his hair is such a mess all the time because whenever he gets nervous or uncomfortable or excited or… probably any emotion that isn’t his normal state of being, he’s running his hands through it.”

“Sexy as hell,” Mary let go of her curl and it sprung back into place. “That’s what I think about his hair.”

“Yes, it is rather attractive.”

“Don’t be formal with me.” Mary sighed, leaning against the wall dramatically and tilting her head to the side. “I’m glad that you have another person here in the castle to treat you like a human being instead of a wish granting factory.” 

Wish granting factory. A term that Mary had come up with to describe Lily’s roll as Queen of Gryffindor. People came to her so that she could fix things. Parliament wanted bills passed, citizens wanted everyday things fixed, the prime minister wanted more funding. She wasn’t a human being in their eyes, she was a fairy godmother, a genie or a wish granting factory. It was probably why she had been so affected to hear James call her by her name. No one used her name, and after a day spent working, she sometimes started to forget that she was a person with needs and desires as well. She started to think of herself more as a queen and less of Lily Evans. 

“I’m very glad too.” Lily smiled. “And he did not go easy on me when I lost either, even when I was throwing a fit about the press.” 

“Good,” Mary laughed. “But you don’t fancy him?” 

“I think we’re starting to be friends,” Lily said honestly. “And that’s a really good place to start, isn’t it?” 

“Sure, but the sooner you get to be the reason that hair of his is messed up all the time, the better. That is the goal that you should be working towards.” 

Lily clicked her tongue, but she found that talking about James like this, at least with Mary, wasn’t uncomfortable. And it made her stop thinking about Bertram and how there really had been hardly any space left between them at all. 

She shook her head and turned back to her reflection, picking up a brush.

“What was that?” Mary asked, catching the slight glitch in her expression. 

“What was what?” Lily asked, deciding to play dumb. It had never worked with Mary before, but Lily knew that one of these days-

Mary jumped off the counter and stepped up her to her best friend, grabbing her by the shoulders and twisting her around so they were facing one another. “What was that?” She asked again. “Have you already been a reason that James’ hair is a mess?” Her eyebrows were rather high, nearing her hairline and Lily laughed. 

“No, Mary, I’ve not tousled James’ hair.” 

“Yet.” Mary amended. Well that was a strange thing to think about, but if they were to get married, she supposed she would like to have a romantic relationship with him.. This was so weird. Maybe she should have hosted a dozen men and orchestrated some type of  _ Bachelorette  _ scenario. It was harder to imagine that though. 

“Then what was the look for?” Mary asked, not letting go of Lily’s shoulders. 

Lily huffed. “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“I don’t give a shit.” Mary deadpanned. 

“I know.” Lily sighed. “I had a moment today. With a boy. Who wasn’t James.” 

Mary’s eyes were even wider than when she’d thought that she’d fooled around with James. “What do you mean you had a bloody moment with someone?” 

“Exactly that.” 

“What kind of moment?” 

“A confusing one.”

“And who was the bloke?”

Mary allowed Lily to reach up and cover her face only for a moment, and then she gripped Lily’s wrists and pulled her hands away. “Lily, who was the bloke?” 

“Bertram.” Lily closed her eyes as she said the lord’s name.

Mary groaned loudly, let go of Lily and then immediately started laughing. Lily was used to reactions like this from Mary, she just wasn’t used to being the one to cause them. “You had a moment with mister fancy, pompous, pants? With the man who is trying to steal your crown-

“He’s not trying to steal my crown, actually.” Lily interrupted, because she could actually dispute this one thing on Mary’s list, before the list got too long as well. “His uncle sent him here. He told me that before parliament started enforcing this law, he didn’t even know that he was next in line for the throne.” Mary looked skeptical and Lily realized how naive she was sounding. “Which of course he would tell me in order to get me to lower my guard... “ 

She sighed and slumped back against the counter, covering her face with her hands again. 

“I’m glad you got there before I had to spell it out for you.” 

“He seems very genuine. And it’s not as though he’s trying to pour honey in my ear, he doesn’t go around saying things that I want to hear. He tried to argue on behalf of parliament today. Lord Rosier included,” Lily suddenly felt like that was a virtue, as opposed to how she’d viewed it as a major character defect earlier. 

“Tell me about this moment,” Mary seemed exasperated already, and Lily didn’t think that was fair, seeing as how she had had to put up with a lot more bullshite from Mary over the years. 

Lily grabbed a scrunchie and left the bathroom. Mary followed. “Well, I needed some air after my meetings were over, so I went to the gardens. It seems to be the only place in the castle where I feel like I don’t have eyes on me at all times, and I wanted some privacy so I could mutter angrily to myself-”

“Naturally, but you’re stalling.”

“I ran into Bertram.” Lily crawled up onto her bed and crossed her legs. She looked over at Mary as she pulled her hair into the scrunchie. “He was reading a book, and we almost ran into one another and then we started arguing about parliament and I told him that he didn’t know what he was talking about and I didn’t think he was being very helpful and I was about to storm off when he reached out and stopped me. He said something cheeky and then we were standing too close to one another and not saying anything and then Amelia called my name and I started freaking out.” 

Mary climbed up onto the bed as well, mirroring Lily’s posture. “What do you need me to do?” 

“What?” 

“What do you need me to do?” She asked again, folding her hands in her lap. “I know that you’re going to marry James at the end of the month, but if you have any kind of feelings for Bertram, do you want to figure them out before you say adios to the single life forever?” 

“No.” Lily was startled by this offer. “No, I can’t do that. I can’t do that for about a million reasons. And I don’t have feelings for Bertram I just… I don’t know, he’s very nice to look at but I don’t know what happened in the garden. It was weird. It was just a weird moment, but it doesn’t mean that I fancy him.” 

“I know that,” Mary said. “But I also know that you’ve been forced to accept a lot in a very short amount of time, and it’s not really all that surprising that you would find out that you have feelings for the one bloke that you really can’t have feelings for. That actually sounds like exactly the thing we should have prepared for.” 

“Lord Rosier actually suggested that I marry Bertram instead of James.” Lily rubbed her palms over her eyes, glad that she’d already taken off her makeup.

“Is that a route we should consider?” 

“No!” Lily’s hands were back on the bed and she shook her head fiercely. “I can’t marry him without parliament using that to demote me from queen to ceremonial figurehead. They would all back him and I would be left without any political power.”

“Okay, so you’ll marry James. Also fuck Rosier,” Mary rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, and definitely.” Lily agreed. “I’m sure that it was just a fluke,” She said, referring back to  _ the moment _ . “Talking it out with you actually makes it all seem so silly.” Mary nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. “And he could have been lying about not wanting my crown, I would if I were him!” She fell back onto her pillows now. “This is why there have been no boys in my life thusfar. They muck everything up.”

“Not everything, and not the right boy.” Mary said.

“Are you offering me, Reggie?” Lily laughed.

“Yes, I think he’d make a fine king consort.” Mary laid down next to Lily and smiled at her. 

“At least I have you,” 

“Yes. And you’ll have me far longer than you want me.” Lily smiled and shook her head. 

“I doubt it.” 

The next morning, Lily was slightly nervous as she walked down for breakfast. She’d almost asked to have breakfast in her room, but then she remembered that James’ friends had arrived last night, and she didn’t want them to think she was rude. Nor did she want Mary to talk to them without her present. 

Also she just wanted to meet them. They seemed to be very important to James, and the way he talked about Sirius made her smile. 

That didn’t mean that she wasn’t nervous though. She’d been nervous at first, because she knew Bertram would be there. And when she remembered that she was going to be meeting her future husband’s best friends, that only made her more nervous. 

She didn’t know why though, because she was quite good at meeting new people and they tended to like her so long as they weren’t over the age of fifty and a member of parliament. 

She could hear them before she got to the dining hall, and she smiled, some of her nerves disappearing. It was quite nice to have a loud dining hall for once. Even with Mary, things were never too loud in this very large space with only three people to fill it.

She wondered if her grandmother was already in there. 

“James, he’s not exaggerating,” Someone was saying. “I know that Sirius is always exaggerating, but this time he’s telling the truth.” 

“Oi! I don’t always exaggerate! I would definitely not exaggerate in the presence of royalty.”

“Shut it,” James said, and Lily could picture him rolling his eyes or shoving his friends. “So you three got into it with Malfoy at a butterfly garden of all places, and you’re only telling me about it now?” 

“I wanted to see the look on your face.” Sirius said almost solemnly. “I’ve missed your face.” 

“He really has,” Said a fourth voice, “Hasn’t shut up about you.” 

Lily was standing in the doorway now, and she wanted to add that James hadn’t shut up about Sirius either, but then she remembered that she’d been sworn to secrecy. It might have been a silly thing to keep quiet about, but she really did enjoy the idea of keeping each other’s secrets, no matter how ridiculous. 

“That’s cute, Sirius, but also kind of pathetic, mate.” James teased, and Lily watched as he slung his arm around his friend. No one had noticed her yet, and it was kind of nice. 

“Yes, my goal for this trip is to be overly needy and codependent so that the princess thinks far less of you and sends you home with me.” 

And then Mary was next to her, Lily almost jumped from how silently and suddenly she’d appeared. “You’d have to be quite needy and codependent in order for that to work, I’ve been building up her tollence for that shit for like, two decades now.” She shrugged and then bounced into the room, “Mary MacDonald, it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” 

At least she wasn’t wearing Lily’s ceremonial robe and crown.

Lily shook her head, a large smile still on her face as she entered the room. James stood up immediately and his three friends followed in suit, one of them knocking over their chair in the process. Mary started laughing and James smirked at the blond haired fellow. 

“Peter, take a breath, yeah?” James stepped around his chair and over to Lily. “I was just coming to say good morning, this isn’t a formal meal.” He turned back to Lily, “Unless you would like them to jump up like that every time you walk into a room. It could be amusing.” 

“You’re right, it could be,” Lily agreed as James leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to her temple. He’d never done that before, and she could see the moment he realized that he might have gone too far. He pulled back, eyes wide, and Lily just smiled. “Good morning,” 

“Morning,” He let out a small breath of relief and shook his head before turning back around and pulling out a chair for Lily. “Lads, this is Lily. Lily, meet Sirius, Remus and Peter.” 

Mary took a seat next to Lily and James took her other side, the seat where she normally sat next to her grandmother. She gave James a look that he quickly interpreted. 

“She said that she had business to attend to and would join us for dinner this evening. She suggested having it out on the balcony.” He pulled a note out of his pocket and handed it to her. 

“So you lot like to throw down in butterfly gardens, hey?” Mary asked, pilling eggs and hash onto her plate as she stared them all down. “Kind of rude to the butterflies if you ask me.” 

“But it was Lucious Malfoy. If that doesn’t explain everything, then that means that you don’t know him and you should consider yourself lucky.” Sirius picked up his fork and started eating. 

“Oh I know him, and I’m sure you were justified in whatever it was you did to him, I’m just saying, that’s what parking lots are for.” 

The three blokes started at her for a moment and then glanced at one another. “You find yourself in many parking lot brawls, Ms. Princess’ best friend?” Sirius asked with a raised brow.

“Mary,” She correctly, “And I’ve been in a fair few.” She shrugged and shoveled a heap of eggs into her mouth. 

“I don’t buy it,” Peter said. 

“She threatened to murder me on live television if I did anything to hurt Lily.” James shrugged, luckily not sounding threatened or upset about this. 

Lily clicked her tongue. “I told you to stop threatening to do that to people.” 

“Yes, but you’re not the boss of me.” Mary pointed her fork at Lily, her mouth still full of food. 

“You keep saying that,” Lily shook her head. “And I’m going to have Alaster throw you out on your arse.” 

“No you won’t,” Mary reached over and pinched Lily’s cheek, Lily tilted her head to the side and leaned closer to James. 

“I’ll throw you out myself if you keep it up,” 

“You weren’t kidding, were you?” Remus asked Mary. 

“What? No, Lily is very anti-hitting people in the face and she been for as long as I can remember. So I have to do it for her sometimes. Like that time in primary when Rodger Throton stole all of her crayons, or in secondary when Bathilda Bagshot- yes, that is her real name, copied her history essay and then tried to get her expelled for plagiarism.” Mary rolled her eyes as though she wasn’t being ridiculous right now. Though James’ friends looked as though they were impressed. 

“I think you all are forgetting that Mary and I did not grow up in this world. We lived in Cokesworth, England. It is a small factory town where everyone knows everyone and Mary was known as a bit of a bruiser.” Lily then took a small bite of her toast. 

“I think I keep forgetting that too,” James chuckled. “I mean, I knew that you grew up in England, but I’ve never heard of Cokesworth.” 

“Most people haven’t.” Mary scoffed. “You aren’t missing much.” 

“What are you doing later, Mary?” Sirius asked, leaning forward so that his elbow was on the table and his hair was in his eyes. His hair, now that Lily was looking at it, was almost as fantastic as James’. 

“Sirius,” James muttered, making it sound like a warning, but also as though he was very tired of this behavior. Lily smirked. 

“Hanging out with my super fit boyfriend, why? What are you doing?” Mary didn’t miss a beat, she never did. 

“I didn’t know you were dating anyone, Mary,” James was clearly trying to change the subject or avoid further interaction between Sirius and Mary, which was probably a good idea. The two of them seemed capable of a lot of destruction should they team up. 

“You don’t know everything about me, James.” Mary said this as though she was sixteen and talking to her step-father. 

“I think I know more than I should,” James countered. “You’ve told me about every single pet that you’ve had since you were born, you’ve told me the colors of your secondary school uniform, the trip you took to Scotland with your father’s family-”

“Okay, well then I guess it just didn’t come up.” Mary interrupted and Lily laughed, wondering when Mary had had the time to accost James with all of that. 

“You don’t have to let her go on like that, James.” She said, looking at him and then turning to Mary. “I can get you spray bottle or something.” Everyone seemed to find that funny, except Mary, who pouted. 

“I’m telling, Gran.” 

“Then I’ll tell her you keep threatening people’s lives with live murder.” 

“Live murder?” Peter asked, and Lily shook her head. 

“That’s what we call murdering someone on live television.” Lily sighed. “I don’t know why we have come to the point in our lives where we need a term for it, but we have.” Mary smiled cheerfully.  _ Cute as a button _ . 

“Alright, you’ve all distracted me, especially you,” Sirius said, pointing his fork at Mary. “I wanted to interrogate you,” He moved his fork to the left so it was aimed at Lily now. 

“I’m interrogated nearly every day, have at it.” Lily said, finding that she didn’t mind the prospect of Sirius’ questions. She liked James’ mates. 

“Perfect,” 

“You don’t need to do this,” James said, and for a moment, Lily thought he was talking to Sirius, but when she looked at him, he was looking back at her. “He’s an arse.” 

“You listened to Mary talk about her boring trip to Scotland.” Lily grinned at him. “I don’t know why she told you about that, or why you listened, but Sirius doesn’t scare me. He’s too pretty.” Remus laughed the loudest at that. 

“I don’t have a lot of questions,” Sirius huffed, his arms now crossed over his chest. 

“Well, go ahead and get on with them.” Lily motioned for him to continue. 

Sirius would have liked her to be a little off balance, but Lily had gotten too used to dealing with people who wanted to see her uncertain or put out. 

“Why did you pick out James for your king?” 

“King consort,” Mary corrected. 

“Yes, well, I’m afraid there’s nothing romantic or even personal in that story. I was given a large stack of portfolios to go through, and I had certain things that I was looking for. First and foremost, whoever I chose had to be from Gryffindor and they had to be well liked by the public. That narrowed things down quite a bit. After that, I suppose I was just more impressed with what I saw in James’ portfolio-”

“Yeah, like his hair.” Mary interjected. 

“You talk about my hair a lot,” James looked down at Mary. 

“She really does.” Lily agreed, also looking at Mary. “Though, she’s right, it is amazing hair.” Lily looked back at James to find that the tips of his ears had gone red. 

“I think they’re both blind,” Peter said, leaning over to stage whisper to Remus. 

“I agree,” Sirius didn’t stage whisper. “I mean, I’m sitting right here and neither one of them have complimented my hair.” 

“Well you haven’t complimented ours either.” Mary pointed out, pointing her fork at him now. “And mine is bouncy, flouncy goodness and you can use Lily’s to wave down help in an emergency.” Lily clicked her tongue. 

“I’m calling Reginald.” 

“Oh please tell me that’s not the name of the blighter your dating.” Sirius closed his eyes. 

“Your name is  _ Sirius.  _ How is that better?” Mary asked. 

“You’re not going to tell me off for calling him a blighter?” 

“No, he is a blighter, but his name is not more ridiculous or unfortunate than yours.” 

“I like my name.”

“I expect Reggie likes his name as well.” She shrugged. “And I like some other things about him, so I overlook it. And refuse to use it unless I’m telling him off.” 

Sirius looked at Lily, “Does she do that a lot?” 

“Tell people off?” She shrugged. “She tries, but she’s too cute and it doesn’t work out likes she wants it too.”

“Like a button.” Mary repeated.

“The size of one too.” 

“You are definitely not what we expected,” Remus interrupted their jesting. 

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. “I was actually worried that Sirius could scare you out of your arrangement with James before you two came in here.” 

“You two could have warned me that that was his plan,” James looked at Remus and Peter. 

“You should have known that would be his plan.”

“I have more questions for the princess,” Sirius held up his hands to call for quiet.

Lily motioned for him to carry on with it. 

“Will you try and make James feel bad-”

“No.” Lily interrupted. 

“I wasn’t finished.” Sirius narrowed his brow. 

“Well it doesn’t really matter how you end the question. The answer is no. Unless he smokes, then yes.”

“I smoke,” 

“That’s disgusting. I hope it makes your hair limp.”

He flinched. “That’s a low blow.” 

She shrugged. “Smoking is gross and harmful to the people around you. It’s also not good for you or your hair. Some people get hairy fungi on their tongues-”

“We’ve gotten off topic,” Sirius jutted out his bottom jaw, looking slightly green. “Are you going to try and make James feel bad for hanging out with us all the time?” 

Lily took in each of the boys faces and then she leaned over to James, and he leaned over to her. She turned her head and whispered, “How would you like me to answer that?” 

James smirked at her, and then looked back at his mates, assessing them as she had done. Then he turned back to her and whispered back, “Tell them I can only see them once or twice a month.” 

She nodded, and then sat upright again. “I’m terribly sorry, but things are going to change now. James hasn’t time for you lot.” And then she stood up. “It’s been lovely meeting you all though.” 

“He hasn’t time for us?” Remus laughed. He started to stand up with her, but Sirius yanked on his sleeve and pulled him back into his chair. 

“That’s right,” James nodded, standing up as well. “We’re very busy. But it’s been fun. A right laugh most of the time.” 

“If he doesn’t have time for us, how do you have time for her?” Peter asked, pointing a finger at Mary, who had a piece of toast hanging out of her mouth as she piled more eggs onto her plate. 

Lily laughed and shook her head, “Bloody hell, obviously I don’t have time for that. Did James tell you what she was wearing when he met her? Or that she was caught spying on us behind a curtain the other day?” She brushed her hands down her skirt, “ I’m afraid that I do actually have to go though. I’ve promised some news outlets some interviews apparently.” She pulled her grandmother’s note out of her pocket. “I’ll see you all later today,” 

“You might not, badmouthing me like you’ve been. I’ll go and live with Reggie.” 

“He’d love that. Cheerio,” She waved and then walked out of the room. She didn’t notice that James had followed her right away. 

“Lily,” He stopped walking once he was next to her, his hand already in his hair. She smiled at him, watching him pull his hand out of his hair to push his glasses up his nose and then stick both of his hands in his pockets. “Old habits.” He shook his head. 

Lily remembered what Mary had said to her earlier, about how she should work towards being the reason that his hair was always such a mess. She felt herself blush and looked down at her shoes to hide it. She cleared her throat, “Do you need something?” She looked back up at him.

“Yes,” He nodded. “I know that we’ve got a lot of activities planned over the next couple of weeks, but I’d really like to make sure that we get to spend some time together, just the two of us.” 

“More badminton?” Lily smirked, more than ready to have another go at winning. Even if the press was there and shouting her name, she wouldn’t let that get to her a second time. Her pride would be on the line. 

“No,” He almost pulled his hand out of his pocket, but he refrained. “I mean, I had fun and we should do that again, but that’s not what I had in mind. I meant we should do something where it’s actually just the two of us.”

“Oh,” Lily clasped her hands together behind her back, not sure why she suddenly felt a bit nervous. “Yes, of course, that’s a great idea. We could... “ She bit the tip of her tongue, but her mind was blank at the moment. 

“I actually have a few ideas,” James grinned, “I was the one to suggest it after all.” 

Lily blinked and looked up at him, “Of course you do. Yes, sorry. I don’t know why I assumed- but yes. Yes, what did you have in mind?” Had she said, ‘yes’ too many times? It felt like she’d said it a lot. Why was she feeling so strange. 

“Well, to start, I’d like to cook you dinner.” 

Lily tilted her head to the side. “You cook?” 

“Not often and not very well, but sometimes and some things.” He shrugged a shoulder and Lily smiled. 

“I can make a peach cobbler.” Lily offered. Her grandmother had taught her how to make it after she’d moved here. So in her repertoire of baking skills included… a peach cobbler. 

James grinned at her, letting his hands out of his pockets now that he was a little more relaxed. They even stayed at his sides. “That would be nice.”

She realized that James had probably had peach cobbler at hundreds of state dinners and events, having grown up here. “I learned how to make it when I moved here. It’s probably not going to be the best you’ve ever had, but I think it tastes like it’s supposed to. Normally.” His grin widened. 

“Sounds like we’ll have a five start dining experience.” He pushed his glasses up his nose again. “So, I know that we have a dinner tonight with the household, and tomorrow is the formal dinner with the Prime Minister, so how about Thursday evening? Seven o’clock?” 

Lily stood up straighter. She’d forgotten about tomorrow's dinner. “Yes, seven o’clock. That sounds perfect.”

“It does,” He agreed. “Alright, I’ll let you go now.” He nodded his head. “I’ll see you this evening, Lily.” 

“I’ll see you later,” She agreed, and then started back down the hallway, fairly sure that her husband to-be had just asked her out on a date. How strange. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are! You got to meet the Marauders finally! I hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to leave a comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, happy Sunday everyone! This chapter was a pain. I kept going back through it and trying to edit it more, but I can't make it into something that it's not. It's a filler, it's a set up, it's laying out the ground work. The next chapter is my favorite, possibly. I know that you'll all love it, and I know that parts of this chapter will make you shake your fists at me, and parts will make you laugh and parts will make you squeal. We do cover the bases, there's a lot going on.
> 
> Anyway, I do hope that you enjoy it!

Lily was getting the mic unclipped from her blouse when her grandmother walked up to her with a somber look on her face. A look that always turned Lily’s stomach to stone. “We need to talk, Lily.” She said, her lips nearly disappearing as she pressed them together.

She’d just finished up an interview about her latest school initiative, something that was both fun and easy for her to talk about. The interviewee didn’t even ask her about James, and Lily had appreciated that. But all the good feelings that she’d collected over the course of the interview were gone now.

“When you say things like that to me, you give me heart palpitations.” Lily narrowed her brow. “What is it?”

“Your sister is coming to visit.”

“The palpitations are deserved.” Lily sighed, reaching up to push her hair away from her face. “When and for how long?” She wasn’t entirely convinced that her grandmother wasn’t mistaken. Petunia had never visited Gryffindor before.

“They will arrive Friday morning and they’re not staying too long. I think they leave Sunday,” Her grandmother frowned. “She’s bringing her husband and son.”

Lily was almost excited about the fact that she would get to see her nephew. He was only four months old the last time she’d seen him, and he’d been absolutely adorable. That had been about a year ago. That had also been the last time that she’d seen her sister. And she’d also started a fight with her brother-in-law that made her sister decide that they didn’t need to see or talk to one another for a while.

Though Lily stood by it being Vernon’s fault entirely.

“She went through you?” Because Lily and Petunia had different fathers, Anita was not Petunia’s grandmother, so she thought it would be weird for her proper older sister, to ask the queen if she could visit instead of asking her sister. It also kind of hurt Lily’s feelings.

“She went through the required channels; I have not spoken to her. Though I can have the visit canceled, if you wish.”

Lily chewed on the inside of her cheek and shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I don’t want to go the rest of my life not seeing my only sister. And I’d like Dudley to know who I am.” She mused. “Perhaps we can just tell Vernon to shove it.”

“Perhaps not.” Her grandmother smiled at her and patted her cheek. She knew that Anita disliked Vernon on Lily’s behalf, but the pompous tool usually behaved himself in front of the queen, to the point that Anita might have assumed Lily had made up many of the stories she told about how terrible he had been.

“This seems a bit last minutes for her.” Lily said, biting the tip of her tongue.

“I thought so too,” Anita agreed. “It’ll be interesting to see what they are visiting for, especially when they should be here later this month as well..”

Lily thought it might have been her mother’s doing. Maybe she told Petunia that she had to come visit, or maybe she’d guilted her into it. Though her mother hadn’t come to visit in quite a while either.

“Yes, I for one am very glad to add this to my plate.” Lily sighed. “But it’ll be good to see my nephew. I’ll just keep saying that until it’s over.”

Anita gave her a small smile, “That sounds like a good plan.”

Lily wasn’t so sure about that, but what was she to do?

The rest of her morning remained just as busy. She came back to the castle and took a meeting with a select few members of parliament, where she got to watch them fight amongst themselves for a change. It went on a lot longer than she had wanted it to, but she found a short window where she had time to sneak down for lunch.

Amelia and Gwen had both offered to bring her lunch during the meeting, or to her office afterward, but she preferred to sit in the small stone kitchen, at the table that felt older than the castle and have a moment to herself. During the day, she did not get many moments to herself and so she had to sneak them where she could.

She walked down the narrow set of stairs, thinking over the meeting and how she was going to go about bringing Lord Malfoy around to her way of thinking, and was somehow unsurprised to see Bertram sitting at the table she’d been thinking about all afternoon, his book in hand.

She stood at the base of the staircase for a moment and watched him turn the page. She wanted to take a moment to breath before she entered what was bound to be a confusing conversation. Every conversation with Bertram turned out to be confusing. Perhaps if she prepared herself, she could avoid that.

She stepped into the room, “Surely you have to be nearing the end of your book by now. All I ever see you do is read.” Starting the conversation could also help.

“You are right, I do read a lot.” Bertram didn’t seem surprised to hear her, but he didn’t look up, he appeared to be finishing his page. “But this is a different book, princess. And so I’m near the beginning.”

She walked over to the small icebox in the corner of the room and pulled it open. She was somehow not disappointed that she wouldn’t have the moment alone that she was looking for. She grabbed herself a sandwich, that had been premade for her earlier in the day, and then walked over to the table and took a seat.

“I didn’t realize that you liked to have lunch down here by yourself.” Bertram said, finally closing his book and setting it down on the table. “I can leave if you’d like.” He made to stand up and Lily bit her tongue. She should probably let him leave.

But that would be rude, wouldn’t it? He was here first.

“No, you don’t have to leave. I’m not one for kicking people out of places they were occupying first.”

“This is your home,” But he sat back down, and Lily smiled at him.

“Yes, but you’re my guest.”

“Only because some crotchety old men twisted your arm.”

“That is true,” Lily agreed, “But still, a guest nonetheless.”

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” He said, tapping his fingers on top of his book. “I don’t know why I was trying to tell you about parliament. I’m not nearly as familiar with any of them as you are. Except perhaps a few of them. My uncle and Lord Rosier, but that’s nothing to brag about.” She remembered her meeting with the lord yesterday, and almost blushed remembering that he’d wanted her to consider marrying Bertram. And she looked down at her sandwich when she remembered Bertram making a joke about the two of them getting married at the charity tea.

“I was a bit miffed about that, but it’s fine.” She didn’t know why she said that. It wasn’t fine, but she just felt like smiling when she was around him, like she was back in primary and incapable of confrontation.

“I do apologize.” She didn’t think that it seemed like that big of a deal now, but she was proud of herself for not saying that, because she had thought it was a big deal yesterday and she was starting to think that maybe she shouldn’t trust her feelings when she was around him. Perhaps it was his smile. Could smiles be hypnotic?

“Thank you, in the future, you’ll wait until you’re in parliament before you start lecturing me about politics and prejudice.” She tapped her fingers against the edge of her plate.

Bertram laughed, “That sounds fair, though I don’t really want to go into parliament.”

“You’re not going to take over your uncle’s seat?”

“That’s not the plan, no.”

“Then what is the plan?” Lily asked, though she was only half interested, because the other part of her was wondering who would take up the vacated seat, and if she could somehow get a woman into parliament. Then she wouldn’t be the only one.

“I want to be a writer.” Bertram said, tapping his book again. “Put my important thoughts down on paper to educate the masses.” He smirked to let her know that he was joking, and she laughed, though it didn’t sound right to her ears, it was too high, too loud. He didn’t notice. “Actually, I’d like to write stories.”

“Really?” Lily asked, resting her chin on her hand, elbow on the table. “What are your stories going to be about?”

“What is any great story about?” He asked, leaning over the table a bit. “Love and heartbreak.”

Lily’s story was not, so far, about love. “What are you reading?” She asked, not sure if she was purposefully trying to change the subject or not.

“Catcher and the Rye.”

“Oh? Are you enjoying it?”

“It reminds me of you.” Lily frowned.

“I remind you of a sixteen-year-old boy?” Lily was suddenly glad that her had to read _Catcher in the Rye _for English class years ago. She wouldn’t have liked admitting to Bertram that she didn’t know anything about the book. He probably would have teased her about it.

“No, you don’t remind me of Holden, except that you both get upset about people accepting a society that doesn’t prioritize the truth.”

“Should I go off the rails as well?”

“Probably,” Bertram grinned.

“Are you going to write characters like that?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I suppose I’ll have to figure out exactly what I’m going to write if I want it to go anywhere.” His eyes didn’t spark when he said this, he didn’t look excited or apprehensive about admitting that he had a dream, he simply seemed apathetic. Lily chalked this up to the fact that he grew up rich and pampered and could have anything he wanted as a child, so why not now as well? If he did write something and want to publish it, it would be easy for him, because he knew someone or knew someone who knew someone.

“Are you actually going to eat that?” Bertram pointed at her sandwich. Was he trying to change the subject? Or was he teasing her? His smile said that he was teasing her.

“Oh,” She looked down at her full plate and nodded. “I suppose I should.”

“I’ll leave you in peace for now,” He winked and snatched up his book as he stood. “I don’t know how much time the princess is allotted for lunch, but you should spend that time eating, not entertaining guests.”

She wanted to remark about how she could choose how to spend her time, thank you very much, but he smiled at her and the response faded away. “I’ll see you later,” She said instead. He nodded and then she was alone in the kitchen with a bad taste in her mouth.

“Okay, so you know how in all those stupid teen movies where the dorky girl has a crush on the stupid popular boy and is blind to his faults or just doesn’t care about them?” This was how Lily greeted Mary that night as she barged into her room with no warning.

Mary was holding her phone out in front of her as she laid across her bed on her stomach and she looked over at Lily, turning the phone as well so that Reginald’s face was now looking at Lily.

“Lo, Reggie.” Lily waved with just one of her fingers and then joined Mary on the bed.

“Hey, Lils.”

“Do you know what I’m talking about?”

“Yes, but I’m kind of in the middle of something, Lily.” Mary turned her phone back toward her own face and scooted away from Lily.

“I know what you’re talking about, Lily. Continue,” Reggie’s voice came through the phone.

“Thank you, Reg!” Lily called out, so that he could hear her after Mary crammed the phone under the pillow.

“I’ll hang up on you, Reg,” Mary threatened, but she was already relenting.

“Mary, this is important.” Lily said. “I think I’m being stupid, and I don’t know how to stop.”

“I swear to God, if this is about Bertram-”

“How did you know it was about Bertram?”

“Who the hell else could it be about? You come in here sprouting dorky girls and stupid popular boys and obviously the dorky girl is you, and so that means that Bertram is the stupid bloke, which tracks. I do think he’s stupid. Are you telling me that you’re blind to his faults?”

“No, I only semi-temporarily forget about them in his presence. Or I feel like my own faults are magnified? I don’t know, Mary. I don’t like it.” She groaned and rolled over, so she was looking up at the ceiling. “It’s all going to shit, isn’t it?”

“How are you more dramatic than me?” Mary asked, sitting up and crossing her legs under her. “Reggie, tell her how stupid she’s being.”

“I refuse to call your best mate stupid. I also refuse to call the princess of Gryffindor stupid. I will however, agree that she’s being very dramatic.” Lily looked over and saw that Mary had planted the screen right in front of her face. “This is a brilliant angle for you, by the way.”

“Thank you, Reg.” Lily muttered against Mary’s comforter, her breath fogging up part of Mary’s screen. “When are you coming to visit?”

“Why? You need me and Mary to tag team this bloke? I’ll hold his arms while she glues orange and blue feathers to his eyebrows with gorilla glue.”

Lily snorted. “How are you two so perfect for each other?”

“Luck,” They both responded at the same time, and then Mary smiled foolishly and that made Lily smile.

“I’ll be in before your birthday, don’t worry.” Reginald grinned. “Now, how about I hop off the phone so that you and Mary can get to the bottom of this.”

“Yeah, sure, leave me with all the heavy lifting.” Mary shook her head and pulled the phone away from Lily’s face. “Suggesting to feather his eyebrows doesn’t count as helping, so I guess you’re useless.” Her finger hovered over the end call button, “I love you, my dear,” She said.

“Not as much as I love you.”

And then she pressed the button without further hesitation.

“Okay, so tell me what happened.” Mary said, tossing her phone in the direction of her pillows.

Lily took a deep breath, pushed herself onto her elbows and then spilled everything. Everything included a handful of moments that she was definitely making a bigger deal out of than she needed to be, and a lot of speculation on her part, but Mary listened patiently and nodded along.

When Lily fell quiet, Mary stayed quiet for a few more moments as well. “I think you fancy this blighter.” She said after a moment. “Which is a right shame, because you don’t often fancy blokes, and now that you’re about to be engaged, of course you fancy someone, and of course they’re completely horrendous.”

“I don’t fancy him and he’s not completely horrendous,” Lily countered. “Is he? I mean, he might be. When I think about the things he says after he’s not in front of me anymore, I think he might be. But-” Mary interrupted her.

“I have no idea. What do you want me to do? You want me to suss him out? You want me to scare him into leaving?”

“I don’t know what I want you to do!” Lily pulled at her hair. “I want you to tell me how I navigate all of this without making a complete mess of things! I need you to tell me that he’s doing this to me on purpose,” She shook her head, not sure how someone could make her feel this confused and frustrated on purpose.

“Lily, you’re a grownup who has been backed into a corner on a subject that you’ve felt passionately about for a long time.” Mary said, her voice taking on a slow and gentle tone to it that made Lily’s insides squirm. Mary never talked to her like that. “Perhaps these feelings for Bertram is your way of rebelling, perhaps you’re only looking for a bit of fun before you have to get married. I don’t know, but I’m not going to tell you what to do, you have enough people for that. If you need to make bad decisions now to feel better about things later, then I’m going to help you with that.”

“You think that’s what this is? You think I’m rebelling?” She didn’t sound convinced. “I don’t want to rebel. Especially not with him. Probably.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were! You’ve never done anything rebellious in your entire life. You’ve always done what was expected of you, you’ve always spoken the way that you’re supposed to, you’ve always held your tongue even when the people around you are being vile, and then you were told that you have to get an arranged marriage in less than a month. Not only does thinking about being in your situation make my entire body itchy, it also makes me want to throw rocks at people and throw up. And also set something on fire.”

“We might need to have a separate conversation about how you deal with frustration.”

“Possibly, but my point is, you’re not dealing with all of this as well as you think you are. You’re all but ignoring James-”

“I am not ignoring James-”

“Don’t interrupt me, and yes you are. How often have you ran into my room in the last few days to talk to me about him? Have you even brought him up at all? I mean, you’re marrying this man, yes? Don’t you think you should be getting to know him on more than just a superficial level?”

Lily’s heart felt like it was in her throat and then suddenly, Mary’s assessment of the situation didn’t seem so farfetched. “I know I have to do that,” She said, wringing her fingers. “But what if I don’t like him?” She asked quietly.

Once she’d said it, she realized how deep this fear ran. She didn’t want to get to know James, or think about how she felt about him for too long, because what if she didn’t like what she found? What if she was tied to him forever, and she came to realize that she couldn’t stand him? How terrible would that be?

But she didn’t say any of that out loud to Mary, she didn’t even let Mary answer her question, because as soon as these questions bloomed in her mind, she shoved them back down. “I get your point, I do. And I am addressing that. James and I are having a private dinner together the day after next.” She pushed her hair back, “He said he was going to cook for me. I think I offered to make a peach pie or something, though I don’t know why. I’m terrible at baking and he grew up here, so I’m sure he’s had all kinds of terrific peach desserts.”

Mary frowned at her. “Look, I can’t force you to focus on the things that you need to focus on, or deal with the issues you need to deal with, but just remember, when this all blows up in your mind, when this all sinks in for real, I will be here with a box of tissues and Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour Netflix special. Alright?”

“I’m fine, Mary,” Lily bit the tip of her tongue and pushed herself off the bed. She started heading for the door. “I’ll just avoid being alone with Bertram. Everything else will sort itself out.”

“Did you actually want my help? Or did you just want to listen to yourself speak with different acoustics than the ones your own room has?”

“Oh hush up,” Lily stuck her tongue out. “Goodnight, my light.”

“Sweet dreams, moon beams.”

Avoiding Bertram was easy the next day. He once again was not at breakfast, and when Mary inquired about his whereabouts, Sirius made a snide comment about them playing a game of hide and seek and Anita said that he was with his uncle again. Lily had forgotten what her maid had said about Sirius and Bertram having a feud of sorts. She wanted to ask Sirius about it, but it didn’t seem like the type of thing to bring up with her grandmother there.

After that, she had meetings with the boards of a few different charities and unions all throughout the city. Parliament was not in session today, which she was thankful for, as that meant she had a bit of time to herself before she had to start getting ready for tonight’s State Dinner.

The event would take place at the Prime Ministers country estate, and while Lily and James had already made a public appearance together at the charity tea, this would be the event that told the world that they were together.

Lily was binging _Killing Eve_, when that thought flitted across her mind. She turned the volume up and focused on the storyline.

She didn’t feel nervous though, even when Amelia and Gwen came in with her ballgown in tow. She even managed a smile, though she didn’t think that she would ever stop smiling at the sight of ball gowns. They weren’t terribly comfortable of course, but it was the only part of her job as Princess that made her feel as though she were living in an actual fairy tale.

And so, she got ready for the state event that was far fancier than it had any right to be, but she wouldn’t be complaining about that. It was called a dinner, but that was misleading. It was a ball that would serve food, but for some reason, no one liked to call them balls anymore. Lily liked to call them balls though. Again, it fit with the fairy tale image she loved so much.

After she was in her gown, her grandmother came in to help her pick out a proper tiara. If Lily had her way, she would just pick out whichever one she was favoring that day, but her grandmother insisted that there were certain tiaras for certain events.

It wasn’t until it was time to leave her room that she felt the nerves join her.

And that wasn’t unusual, she reminded herself. Whenever there was a proper and fancy event that she had to go to, she got a little nervous. She was clumsy and didn’t always know what to say, and so she was always worried about making a fool of herself. Especially at state functions where the press would be invited guests and not people that she could run away from.

But it was different this time, she could feel the nerves spreading throughout her fingertips.

“You’re going to do splendidly,” Anita assured her, as she always did. “And James will only make this easier.” She added, turned toward Lily. “If you let him.”

Lily clenched her jaw, not sure why frustration was now joining her nerves, but not wanting to inspect it much further.

“It should be a nice night,” She agreed, brushing her hands down the sides of her midnight blue gown. It was simple in design, sleeveless with a bell shape to the bottom. The designer of the dress had used slightly different shades of blue to give it some depth, and it was one of Lily’s favorites to date.

Her hair was done up in a top knot, small braids woven in and her small silver tiara nestled on top. She thought that she looked the part of a princess, even if she wasn’t feeling like one at the moment.

The two of them walked down the hallway together, heading for the front doors where their car would be waiting for them. “Where is Mary?” Anita asked, looking over her shoulder as they reached the front staircase.

“You know how she is, gran,” Lily refrained from touching her hair and gripped at the sides of her dress instead. “She’s never late, but she does wait until the last possible second before making her arrival.”

“I think she just likes to show up after us. It’s some kind of power move.”

“She thinks she’s a princess too,” Lily grinned. “And since you’ve given her permission to live here and call you ‘gran,’ she has reason to think so.” Anita chuckled and Lily realized that they were halfway down the stairs now. She cleared her throat and looked up, finding James standing near the door with his friends. He was looking back at her.

“James,” Sirius reached out and snapped his fingers in front of James’ face and James hastily pushed them away.

“They’re here,” He said quietly, Lily wasn’t sure if she actually heard him or if she just read his lips.

At his remark, the other three boys spun around to face them and as one, as though they’d rehearsed it, they bowed. James looked over at them and then quickly did the same.

“Don’t you boys look absolutely dapper,” Anita grinned at the four of them as they stood upright.

“And you look positively divine, your majesty,” Sirius grinned, reaching out to take her hand and kissing the back of it as he winked at her. 

“Oh, you and your brother, ever the charmers.” A shadow came over his face, but his smile didn’t drop. Lily tried to let it distract her, but then James was standing right in front of her and her grandmother was right, he looked positively gorgeous. Someone must have made him a matching tie, because it was the same shade as the majority of her gown, and his pocket square was one of the lighter shades. His cuff links matched the silver of her tiara, and his black tux contrasted nicely. It was the same shade as her black pearl earrings and necklace.

They’re outfits had definitely been coordinated, and if she’d allowed herself to think about how he fit into this night for more than five seconds, that wouldn’t have surprised her.

James smiled at her, and Lily noticed that his friends and her grandmother seemed to have moved closer to the door. She itched to chase after them, wrap her hand in her grans and just follow her around for the rest of the night. But she was twenty years old and people would have many questions if she did that.

James must have seen the panic in her eyes, because he reached down and pulled his tie out a little, “I guess this means that you’re my date, yeah?” She wondered if he dropped his polished accent on purpose, if he was doing that to try and calm her nerves.

It worked and she laughed. “There’s definitely no mistaking that, is there?” She released the sides of her dress, realizing that her white knuckles were probably the reason he’d been aware of what she was feeling.

“I bet we’ll get to say maybe two words to one another once we get there,” James pushed his glasses up his nose. “These things are never as relaxing as they should be.” Lily took a deep breath and nodded.

“It’ll be just like the tea, but with about two hundred more people there.” Lily agreed. “I never get to eat either.”

James ears flushed red before he started talking. “Maybe I’ll find another garden to sneak you off to.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue, completely unsure of how she was supposed to respond to that.

“And here comes, Mary,” Anita announced, saving Lily from having to say anything at all.

She spun around and watched her friend float down the staircase in a lavender gown, just as elegant and princess like as Lily’s. Except hers stopped just above her knees and she was wearing what she called ‘wicked witch of the west’ stockings and glittery, rainbow doc martins.

“Mary-Anne Elizabeth,” Anita put a hand to her forehead. “You may not wear tennis shoes.”

“How dare you call these tennis shoes,” Mary scoffed, skipping down the last few steps and then spinning around. “Besides, they complete the look, Grannie.”

“I think you look astonishing,” Sirius said, stepping forward and offering her a hand so that she would spin around, which she did happily.

“They are not appropriate for this event,” Anita said, still looking at Mary’s shoes.

“They are entirely appropriate.” Mary kicked up one of the shoes so that she was on her toes, and tilted it back and forth, making it extra obvious that it was covered in glitter. “And I’m not changing, otherwise I’d need to change every part of my outfit and we’d be more than an hour late.”

“I’m not a big fan of those stockings either.” Anita sighed. “At least not for this event, but I suppose you do look lovely.”

“I for one, love the stockings and sparkly shoes. I think it will serve as a nice warning about how big her personality is before they engage her in conversation,” Lily grinned, tilting her head to the side.

“Yes, as opposed to Sirius, where he just takes you by surprise.” James chuckled.

“I’ve been saying for years,” Remus sighed, “We need to put a sign around his neck, or at the very least, a bell of some kind.”

“A shock collar maybe,” Peter suggested. “Perhaps he’d behave.”

“You’re all bullying me,” He turned to Anita, “I think I’m going to go and wait in the car if that’s alright, before I change my mind about going all together.”

“Oh, let's all take a deep breath,” Anita shook her head. “We’re all going to get in the car and act like the mature grownups I know you all to be.” She gave Sirius and Mary pointed looks, and then led the procession out the door.

“She does not know Mary to be a mature grown up,” Lily said under her breath.

James, who was standing beside her, had no reason not to think that she was talking to him. “Nor Sirius. She’s seen him passed out drunk under a table on multiple occasions.”

Lily paused in following after her grandmother and blinked at him. “I keep forgetting that the lot of you have all known my grandmother longer than I have.” She let out a breathless laugh and then continued on down the palace steps.

She stumbled a bit on the extra fabric in her gown, and James’ gentle touch stopped her from falling on her ass. “My apologies,” He said, offering her his arm. “I have forgotten my manners.”

“Oh, James,” She smiled as she took his arm. “If you start apologizing for my clumsiness, then I’m afraid you won’t have time to do much else.”

They all piled into the car. Lily thought that a different adjective should have been more applicable, since they were all dressed in their very best, and some of them were royalty, but Anita was the only one that did no scooting, as she was the last to enter the car.

Lily was sandwiched in between Mary and James, with Remus and Peter across from them, and Sirius somehow ended up next to Anita.

“So how long do we have to stay at this dinner thing?” Mary asked, pulling her phone out of her dress. The screen lit up her face as the car started to pull away. “I promised Reggie that I’d talk to him around eleven.”

“Do tell him that I said hello,” Anita grinned. She liked Reginald almost as much as Lily did. “And I’m sure you can sneak off to the loo for a while if you’d like to keep that appointment. Otherwise, we’ll be home around midnight, I’d think.”

“So early?” Sirius asked, clicking his tongue. “I’m not sure there will be enough time for me to properly socialize.”

“You’re going as my guest, Sirius Black,” Anita said, not finding it necessary to add anything else. Lily appreciated how Sirius looked cowed by her simple statement.

“Yes, your majesty. I will be on my best behavior.”

“I know you will.” Anita looked over at Lily after she finished glaring at Sirius and gave her a small smile. Lily’s stomach felt more like she’d just stepped off a roller coaster than anything else, but she took a deep breath and then looked out the window.

She would get through the night. She’d have fun even. She was almost sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me a review! Reviews are my favorite! Even when they're just you yelling at me about Bertram, those ones make me laugh!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday, friends! This is one of my favorite chapters so far, and I really hope that you enjoy it!

When they finally arrived at the estate, Lily had started to feel a little claustrophobic. She’s never ridden in a car with this many people in it before, and her legs kept bumping against James, Peter and Remus. She didn’t bump Mary, because Mary had pulled her legs up and was sitting on them the entire time. The lack of a sharp heel allowed her to do that comfortably.

“Lily, James,” Anita said as the car came to a stop. “You will exit the car last.” No further explanation. Moody opened her door and then she was gone. The rest of them followed.

“Are you ready?” James asked, probably because she hadn’t moved after Peter stepped out. She had to move so that James could get out of the car. “I think I should get out first. It’ll look better if I help you out of the car.”

It would look better. “We weren’t really thinking about that.” She bit her lip. “Are we supposed to have some sort of game plan?”

“No,” James said immediately. “No, of course not. We’re just going to go out there and be ourselves together. Or at least we’re going to be our public selves.” He shrugged. Then he shifted so that he was in the seat across from her, now able to exit the car before her. “We’re in this together though, is there anything you need from me tonight?”

She shook her head, because she didn’t have an immediate answer, and because she couldn't imagine asking him for a favor. She wasn’t the greatest at asking for help from people who she was close to, so she definitely wasn’t going to admit a weakness to this stranger of a man.

No matter how kind and genuine he seemed.

“Do you need anything from me?” She asked quietly, not sure how to tell him that they should probably get out of the car before people started to question why they were still in the car.

“Nothing at the moment,” He grinned, “But I’ll let you know.” She nodded and he ran a hand through his hair, looking her over. It was dark in the car, but his ears looked red again. “You really are a vision.” And then he was stepping out of the car, somehow managing to be graceful about it.

Lily slid to the edge of the seat and took his outstretched hand, allowing him to help her onto the sidewalk that led up to the Prime Minister’s mansion. She felt the layers of her dress fall down at her sides as she stood up straight, and then the flashing lights started.

She didn’t bother looking around for her grandmother or Mary, she knew that the lot of them would have been well on their way into the house by now. Once her grandmother arrived somewhere, she didn’t like to dawdle.

She kept a tight grip on James’ hand as they started walking toward the front doors. The house was massive, with doors three times as tall as was necessary. Even in the dark, Lily was impressed by what she saw of the landscaping, and she could smell the fruit trees even if she couldn’t see them.

She found that it wasn’t really that hard to keep a smile on her face as they walked together. She could feel James keep glancing down at her, and she wondered if he was doing that for the same reason he’d climbed out of the car ahead of her, because he knew it would look good. Or maybe he was trying to figure out what she was thinking.

She was trying not to think about anything too specifically though, perhaps Mary had been onto something when they’d spoke yesterday evening.

But now was not the right time to come to that terrifying conclusion, so she looked at the Black Eyed Susans along the walkway instead. They were going to die of frost by the end of the night, but they were pretty to look at now.

“The flowers are beautiful,” She said, nodding at a batch of Sweet Peas. “The Prime Minister has actually shown me many pictures of some of the flowers he has on this estate. They’re much more enrapturing in person. He helps grow them all himself.”

She glanced over at James to see him slide his gaze over the flowers they passed. “What’s your favorite kind of flower?” He asked, looking back at her.

“Sunflowers.” She smiled, because she could not think of sunflowers without smiling. “What about you?”

James scrunched his brow, “You know, I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about it. I’ll get back to you.” Lily chuckled, because it was such a diplomatic answer, about flowers.

“What?” He asked, smiling again.

“Nothing,” She shrugged, and he squeezed her hand and so she continued. “I just appreciate that you’re going to take the time to put thought into something that should be a simple question.”

He laughed again, the flashing lights were somehow easier to ignore. “It is a simple question, but I still want to give you a truthful answer, and that will require a bit of time.”

“And that’s perfectly fine.” She shook her head.

Lily was right in her assumption that as soon as her and James stepped into the house, they would get called off to different conversations. They both greeted the Prime Minister and his wife and children, and then Lily was swept off by the Grand Duchess of Hufflepuff and James by a member of parliament. Lily almost pitied him, but it wasn’t anyone that was too terrible, only Lord Flitwick. Lily actually liked him a good amount of the time.

But she liked Dorcas Meadows more, and was glad for the opportunity to catch up with a friendly face. Dorcas was also good at discreetly reminding Lily the names of everyone who approached them. Marlene McKinnon was there, she was a countess from Gryffindor, and she’d been abroad for most of the winter and so this was the first time that Lily had seen her since last summer.

Both Dorcas and Marlene were young to bare their titles. Marlene’s family had died in a house fire over a decade ago and Dorcas had married someone that was more than twice her age.

“He’s getting old,” She said when Lily asked about him. “It won’t be long now.” Lily had never had the opportunity to ask her if she had wanted to marry her husband, or if someone else had made that decision for her.

It definitely wasn’t something that she wanted to ask her now, not when she was in the situation that she was.

She floated around the room with these two women for quite some time before Dorcas had to go and check on one of her nine step-children and Marlene got asked to dance by a lord from Slytherin.

She was without company for less than a minute when Bertram appeared at her side.

“Alone at a ball?”

“I’m not alone and it’s not a ball,” Lily said quickly, looking around the room for either Mary’s sparkly shoes or her grandmother’s crown. “I’m sure Dorcas will be right back.”

“The Grand Dutchess is good company, but I think I might be a better dancer,” He stepped up and turned, holding up his hand to her.

“I haven’t asked her to dance yet, so I wouldn’t be a good judge. I’m sure you’re brilliant though.” She stepped around him as his smile disappeared and tried to make it to the drinks table.

“Have I done something to offend you, Princess?” He asked, causing her to stop walking and turn back to him. Was she being unfair?

“No, you haven’t offended me, I just haven’t had anything to eat yet. I don’t know why they call these events dinners when half the time they don’t serve us any food.” She forced a smile and then turned to walk away again.

“How about I join you,” He said, and then he was walking in step with her towards the food. Lily looked over at him, but she didn’t say anything. She was already failing at the one step plan that she had come up with the previous night in order to avoid thinking about everything that Mary had said to her.

“Getting food is usually the first thing I do when I attend events like these,” He told her, picking up a small tart from a tray and popping it into his mouth. “But there are so many more people here than I was expecting and so I haven’t been able to work my way back here either.” He closed his eyes to enjoy his dessert for a moment and Lily wondered if she should try and disappear before his eyes opened.

But then his eyes were open, and he narrowed his eyes. “Aren’t you going to pick something out?”

Lily looked away, and wondered what it was about him that got her stomach all knotted up. Sure he was attractive, but many men were attractive and she didn’t turn into a buffoon around them. She took a deep breath.

“You’ve been avoiding James’ friends.” She said as she picked up a savory pastry. She really should have eaten better before she came here, but she hadn’t anticipated getting distracted from the food, though perhaps she should have.

He cleared his throat, “I’ve not been avoiding them. I’ve been avoiding confrontation with them.”

“You’ve been taking all your meals either in your room or at your uncle’s estate.”

“Well seeing them would be a confrontation, so I was still being honest.” He shrugged his shoulder and let out a sigh.

“Why do you not get along with them?” She asked, reaching for another pastry, realizing that she had inhaled her first.

He cocked his head to the side and gave her a look, “Oh come now, you’ve met them all by now. They might be behaving themselves for the time being, but just wait. They’ll do something and then you won’t be surprised by my desire to limit the amount of time I have to spend with them.”

She wanted to say that she had met them, and she found them to all be rather lovely, if not a bit eccentric, but he’d already invalidated anything she could say to that effect, so she just smiled and nodded. “So, there’s no crazy story about how Sirius stole your grandad’s car and ran off with your married sister or anything?”

Bertram laughed and shook his head. “He didn’t do that to my family, but I’m sure he’s stolen plenty cars and married women over the years.” He looked like he was about to say James’ name, but quickly closed his mouth. “Would you care to dance now?” He asked, and Lily realized that she’d finished her second pastry as well.

Could she say no again without seeming rude?

She was the princess of a country, why did she have to worry about whether or not she appeared rude to the man everyone thought was trying to steal her throne?

She refrained from sighing and nodded, “I suppose I’m held over for the time being and can spare a few moments for a dance. But I will need to return to this spot immediately after we’ve finished.”

Bertram laughed and held up his right hand. “I give you my word, princess.”

She could feel herself starting to forget her plan, perhaps she was forgetting the entire conversation that she’d had with Mary, but Bertram had dimples and a smile sweeter than maple syrup and so maybe it didn’t matter. It was just a dance anyway. And she wasn’t alone with him, there were hundreds of other people around them.

She was about to take his hand when she had the strangest sensation of having cold water dumped on her head. She was forgetting something, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. So she took his hand and let him and his dimples lead her onto the dance floor.

The music that they had been playing that night all had the same general feel to it, so until she started actually listening for the beat, she hadn’t picked up one when a song ended, or when a new one started. Luckily it was a fairly fast song, and so even though Lily wasn’t upset about being as close to him as she was, she knew that people would start to talk if she got too close to him.

So they kept a friendly distance and Bertram showed her that he was actually quite good at dancing, and Lily showed him that she is a clutz and stepped on his toes about halfway through the song.

“I’m so sorry,” She stepped back and reached up to cover her mouth with her hands. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine, princess,” He laughed, shaking his head and reaching out for her again. “You’re not heavy enough to do me any real damage.”

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” She asked, looking down at his shoe-clad foot as though that would give her some insight. “I do this all the time.”

“You sound so forlorn,” Bertram was still laughing, “Honestly, I’m just fine. I hardly felt it.”

“I saw you wince.”

“I felt it for the briefest of moments.”

“So I did hurt you,” She had her hands on her hips now.

“Only slightly. And I’m fine now, my foot still works and everything,” He stood on one foot and pushed up onto his tiptoes. “See, nothings broken.”

“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” The prime minister stepped up to their side, and Lily turned away from a smiling Bertram to look at a confused looking Gordon. “But I was hoping that I could lead the princess through a dance,”

Bertram put a hand on Lily’s back and shook his head, “I’m afraid I’ve promised to return her to the pastry table when our dance was through. And I always keep my promises.”

Lily laughed, but when she looked back at the Prime Minister’s face, she remembered the feeling she’d had right before she stepped out onto the dancefloor with Bertram.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I always have time for Gordon.” Lily forced herself to smile at the both of them and Gordon gave Bertram a nod before stepping forward and offering Lily a hand, which she quickly took. He led her away before Bertram could say much more about it.

Gordon was quiet while they started dancing, which was very unlike him. He always had many stories to tell her about his family, which she always enjoyed listening to. But they danced, and he didn’t say anything, and Lily suddenly felt as though she was in the principal's office for wrongdoing and she wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

She felt like she had though.

“Is there something on your mind, Prime Minister?” She finally asked him, because she couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“Yes,” He said quietly, “I’m just trying to work out how I want to say this.” He looked at her in a way he never had before. “Bertram Aubrey has always been an ambitious young man,” He started, using that word that James had given her right before she’d met Bertram. “And I’m worried about what he will do to your reputation if you continue to be seen together in public.”

She blinked up at him. “I danced with him because I wanted to show certain members of parliament that their plan wasn’t working. Bertram and I are on friendly terms and he has done nothing to try and prevent me from taking the throne next month.” Lily said, pulling all of this out of no where, because that was not why she had danced with him. She’d danced with him because she had been afraid to be rude, and because she had wanted to. She knew that she shouldn’t, but she had wanted to and so she did.

“Hmm,” He seemed to be taking in what she said and then nodded. “I can see merit in that, and I’m sure that it will boil Rosier’s blood, but it does look odd.”

“I’ve danced with hundreds of people at these events over the years.” Lily reminded him, not knowing why he was making such a big deal out of this. Well, she sort of knew, but she didn’t want to think about it too much.

“Yes, but you came here with Lord James Potter tonight,” Gordon said, and Lily realized that she hadn’t thought about what James had been doing while she’d been off with Marlene and Dorcas and then dancing with Bertram. “And then you danced with Bertram first.” He shrugged a shoulder, and Lily’s phantom feeling of being doused in cold water came over her again.

“Shit,” Lily whispered, and if Gordon heard her, he was polite enough to pretend that he didn’t. “Is that why you came over? To make it look as though I’m dancing with everyone?”

“I wanted to give you some advice as well, but yes, that was part of my motivation. My nephew will interrupt us in a moment.”

“God that was stupid of me.” Lily glanced around the room, wondering where the reporters were and what they were planning on writing. Could she salvage this? Was it even going to be a story? Gordon had been in this game a lot longer than she had, if he thought it was important, he was probably right.

“And now for the advice,” He said, calling her attention back to him. Lily had thought he’d already given her the advice and so her nerves, which were already nearing shot, were pressed even further. “This next month will be hard, as those who want to make sure you are forced out of your position are going to be doing everything they can to make that happen. You have the clearest and uncontested right to the throne, so they can’t make you leave unless you want to.” He tilted his head forward slightly, “Which means that they will be trying to make you want to leave.”

“I know,” Lily said, “But rest assured, I’m not going anywhere.”

He nodded, “I know that dear, I just don’t want to see you get hurt in the process. These men can get the media to say whatever they want them to, don’t give them a picture to go along with the stories they will spin.”

“Pardon me, uncle,” And then his nephew was there, and Lily’s head was spinning.

After the prime minister’s nephew, she danced with a few members of parliament and then Mary came to claim a dance and force her to down a flute of champagne. And then there were a few more men that she’d met, or men that she’d looked at when looking for a husband.

After almost two hours of dancing and finding a few more flutes of champagne and not finding any more time to eat, Lily was feeling rather dizzy and flustered.

She excused herself from her latest partner before anyone else could approach her for a dance and rushed off to the loo on the second floor of the house. There was no line up here, no other people and she could have a moment to herself.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and was surprised, as she always was, to find that her mental breakdown was only happening on the inside. On the outside she still looked immaculate. There wasn’t a hair out of place, her make up hadn’t smudged in the slightest, her lipstick was still flawless, not a single detail was there to suggest that she was having anything other than a perfectly enchanting night.

She was normally so good at reading the implications of her actions, of guessing which headlines would appear in tomorrow’s paper, and now she’d gone and, quite possibly, ruined everything.

There could be no rumors of her and Lord Bertram Aubrey being anything but friendly with one another. There could be no photos of them that could be used to tell the public that there was something else going on between them. Lord Rosier would latch onto that, he would pursue that, and the people would have plenty of opinions on why she was in love with one man and marrying another. They would lose some faith in her, once the rumors started, they wouldn’t stop. People would no longer listen to her politics or policies and they would just speculate on her love life.

And suddenly it made sense to her why so many people in her position opted for an arranged marriage. It wouldn’t work any other way. She didn’t want to be a figure head; she wanted to promote change and solve real world problems. She couldn’t be seen as fickle when it came to matters of the heart.

She left the powder room feeling no better than when she entered, but she knew that she’d have to shove all these feelings down to be dealt with later. Or perhaps she’d just add them to the pile of feelings that she was choosing to ignore indefinitely. Mary hadn’t been wrong when she had pointed out that she wasn’t really taking everything in. She was just pretending to be okay with everything and narrowly avoiding breakdowns.

James was at the bottom of the stairs.

She paused in the middle of the staircase and looked down at him, he smiled up at her, though there was something slightly different about his smile and she couldn’t tell what it was.

“There you are,” He said, offering her his arm when she reached the bottom. “You were right when you said we would hardly see each other this evening.” Was there an edge in his voice or was she projecting?

“I always feel like I’m being pulled every which way when I attend these functions.”

“Well, at least I’ll get you all to myself tomorrow.” His hand was in his hair as he looked down at her and she didn’t know what he was talking about, but she nodded and the four glasses of champagne made his edges blur.

“Your eyes are sparkly,” She said, narrowing her own eyes as she inspected the colors in his.

His smile looked softer now, “Thank you,”

“Very pretty,” She added quietly. “Green and brown and gold… cozy. Can eyes be cozy?”

He tilted his head at her and then pressed his lips together to hide his grin. “Have you had something to drink, Lily?”

“Oh yes,” Lily nodded. “I’ve had four somethings to drink and only two small pastries to eat so I’m feeling a bit off balance. You’re not allowed to leave me alone for the rest of the night.”

“It’s a good thing that I was already planning on sticking close by then.”

“Were you now? Does that mean that you’ve found the garden?” She remembered his shy proclamation from back at the castle. His ears had been red, and she hadn’t answered him. She’d actually avoided answering him. She shouldn’t have done that.

James laughed, “You want to go outside right now? It’s January and late at night.”

“I know what month it is, it’s almost my birthday.” She countered, not having thought about the weather, or even if she had meant it genuinely when she asked about the garden.

He looked at her for a moment, “They have a greenhouse, it shouldn’t be too cold in there.”

Lily grinned. Just like at the charity tea, he seemed to make her stress melt away. She didn’t know how she had forgotten about him earlier. “I think greenhouses count as part of a garden.”

He looked at her for a moment, his head slightly tilted, his mouth opened just so, his eyes narrowed. He had a question, she could see it brimming near the surface, but he kept it to himself and pulled his arm away in favor of holding her hand instead. She smiled, because she remembered wanting him to take her hand when they were at the tea. “Alright, then let’s sneak off to the greenhouse.”

“Perfect, can we bring food with us?” She said this as seriously as she meant it, so her smile melted away as she looked in the direction of the food table. James laughed at her and she smiled up at him. “I’m not joking, I’ve not gotten to eat anything.”

“I think you’re slightly drunk too.”

“Shh,” She looked around, though she was giggling, confirming his suggestion. “I am not.” She argued, though she knew that she was lying.

“Four glasses and you’re going on about how my eyes are sparkly and your lusting after food.”

“I don’t have to be… I don’t have to have ingested any alcohol to lust after food,” She just narrowly stopped herself from claiming to be drunk. “And your eyes are sparkly.” She looked back towards the tables. “Though so are those biscuits over there,”

James laughed again and let her lead him through the crowd. “Should we just stuff some of them into my jacket?”

“Your jacket is extremely expensive,” Lily bit her lip and looked from the trays of biscuits to his jacket.

“Yes, but I hear even the expensive ones can be washed.” He used his freehand to knab a few chocolate biscuits and put them in his pocket, somehow managing to be sly. Lily surely would have drawn attention to herself if she’d attempted it.

“I want some of the lemon ones as well.” She said, squeezing his hand in excitement. She’d never done anything like this, and her champagne addled brain thought that stealing biscuits before running off to hide in a greenhouse was quite an adventure.

Once her and Mary had hidden in the coat room with an entire tray of mini peach pies, but Lily hadn’t been involved in the thievery and so it hadn’t felt like she was really doing anything wrong. There wasn’t really a thrill to it.

Or maybe James was the thrill. She’d broken plenty or rules with Mary, but she’d never gotten this bubbly, giddy feeling in the middle of her chest before.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“I wish I had pockets in my dress,” Lily sighed, looking at a batch of apple and pork pastries. “But no, that should be enough for now. I can eat more when we come back.”

“Come back? And where would the two of you be going?” It was a familiar voice, but Lily couldn’t place it while she was this close to the food. Her fingers reached out for one of the pork pastries and she bit into it before she turned around.

“No one will notice that we’ve gone,” James was assuring Sirius, who was staring her down for some reason.

“Well they might,” She countered, before remembering that there was food in her mouth. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand. “But we won’t be long.” He narrowed his brows at her and she noticed that he had his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sirius,” James’ voice was low, warning. Lily looked back and forth between the two of them. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”

“I don’t like this.”

“Sirius, it’s fine,” Lily said. “Even if we do get caught, it’s not like we’re going to get into trouble.” She didn’t know why he seemed so concerned about this. She took another bite of her pastry and thought that she probably shouldn’t have had that last glass of champagne. She knew better than to drink on an empty stomach, especially in public. But James had promised not to leave her side, and he could stop her from saying or doing anything she shouldn’t.

“We’ll talk later then,” He seemed to be glaring at her now, but he was James’ mate, so she would let him sort it out.

“We will,” James nodded and then led Lily around Sirius and toward the back of the room.

They got stopped along the way and Lily giggled a few times thinking about how there were biscuits in James’ pockets as he shook hands with the Crown Prince of Hufflepuff.

“You’re awfully giggly,” He said once they had finally reached that corridor that ran along the back of the ballroom.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

He smiled at her, one hand in his hair and the other wrapped tightly around hers. “I like it.”

They looked at one another for a moment and then Lily clicked her tongue, “Can I have a biscuit?”

James laughed and shook his head as he handed one to her.

She’d been to the prime minister’s house a good number of times over the last five years, but she hadn’t had the opportunity to roam about randomly. And so she was sure that they were lost before they reached the greenhouse. Each time she voiced her concern about them being lost, James would assure her that he was incapable of getting lost and Lily would ask him what in the hell that even meant. She listened intently as he told her different stories about mazes and mansions and trying to figure out the subway system in New York City.

“I’ve never been lost though. I always seem to have a hold on where I am.” He pushed open the door in front of them and Lily smiled as she realized that it was the greenhouse.

“How did you do that? You timed that out perfectly,” She looked up at him and let go of his hand so she could walk into the room and look around. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. “It smells like my grandad’s shed. Like the earth and life and growing things.” She snapped her eyes open. “He lived down the street from us when I was growing up. He had a green thumb, he tried to teach me, but I… well I guess I don’t know if I’m any good at it. I wasn’t when I was little.” She spun around to look at the plants set out on the workbench behind her.

“My mum has a garden back home.” He walked up on the other side of the bench and held out a biscuit for her. She grinned and took it. “My dad always said that she was made of sunshine, and that’s why she was so good at making things grow.”

Lily’s smile grew, “That’s very sweet.”

“My mum thought so too.” James chuckled, pulling a biscuit out for himself. “Maybe we can test our hand at playing in the dirt,” He looked a little funny standing there in a tux surrounded by gardening tools and plants. She supposed that she looked just as ridiculous in her ball gown.

“Hide it somewhere in the middle of the professional garden,” She snorted, taking another bite. “At least until we find out that we’re amazing at it.”

“Did you just snort?”

“Yes, I do it frequently. You can’t make me feel bad about it though because Mary has already kicked that particular dead horse too many times.”

James ruffled his hair and shook his head. “I wasn’t going to try and make you feel bad, I just wasn’t expecting it. It was cute.”

“It was not cute,” She put a hand on her hip and finished off her biscuit. “It was a snort.”

“It was both.” He shrugged, handing her another biscuit. She laughed as she took it.

“Thank you,” She tapped her painted nails against it. “Not for lying about my snorting, or the biscuit even,” She looked up at him and then back down at the table. “Maybe for figuring out where the greenhouse was.”

He didn’t say anything in response so she shoved her biscuit in her mouth and replayed what she’d just said over in her head, trying to work out if she’d said something she shouldn’t have or if she had been awkward.

She finished her biscuit and looked up at him.

“Dance with me,” He said, his voice quiet.

Lily narrowed her brow and looked around the greenhouse. “Now? Or when we get back to the ballroom?”

He smirked a little and shrugged a shoulder, “Both.”

She let out a quiet laugh and bit the tip of her tongue. “There’s no music out here.”

“If we’re very quiet, I think we’ll be able to hear the music from the ballroom.” And in the silence now, she did notice the faint music playing all the way on the opposite end of the house.

He stepped around the workbench and held out his hand. Lily’s heart jumped up to her throat. She looked from his hand to his face, unable to read the look he was giving her, but she kept his gaze as she reached up and folded her hand into his.

She thought that his eyes might look as though they were sparkling even without the champagne in her system just then.

He pulled her closer and put his hand on her waist, and she lifted her other hand to rest on his shoulder. And he was right, she could hear the music, and they swayed along to the quiet rhythm, but what she heard most was her own heart beat.

Or maybe it was his heart beat. She rested her head against his chest to find out, and grinned. She was about to pull back to let him know that she was pretty sure their heartbeats were in sync, but he slipped his hand around her waist, pulling her closer as he rested his head atop hers. It surprised her for a moment, but then she let out a soft sigh and squeezed his hand.

“I don’t think I remember the last time I got to properly slow dance with someone,” She spoke in nearly a whisper, not wanting to disrupt the quiet.

“Properly? Does that mean that no one was watching you?”

“Oh, it definitely includes that.” She grinned.

“I don’t think I remember the last time then either.”

“Did you have any girlfriends?”

“Growing up you mean? There were a few. Nothing too serious though. What about you?”

“There was one boy. Mary’s brother actually. He’s touring America with his band now.”

“Oh? Are they any good?”

“Eh.” Lily shrugged. “They have a very specific fanbase.”

“Did you love him?”

She was quiet for a moment, “Perhaps. As best as I knew how. I was only sixteen at the time.” She could feel James’ chest vibrate as he laughed and she wanted to look up and see the smile on his face, but she didn’t want to pull away either.

“Sirius wants to know if Reginald is a real person.”

“Oh, he most definitely is. And he is wonderful. He’ll come round at the end of the month for my birthday.” She blinked. “And our wedding I suppose. And my coronation.”

“There’s a lot happening in a couple of weeks.”

“Was Sirius mad at me earlier?” She asked, and this time she did pull away to look up at him. He kept his arm around her waist though, so she didn’t go far.

“No,” He shook his head. “He was upset with someone else.”

“Who?”

“It’s not important right now.” He shook his head.

“Right,” She nodded and squeezed his hand again. He smiled down at her.

“Yeah? You’re going to let me get away with that?”

“Sure, saying that it’s not important now means that it’ll be important later and then you’ll tell me. Plus we’ve already agreed to keep secrets together, not from one another.” She shrugged and then let her head fall back against his chest.

“You’re not keep any secrets from me then?”

She pressed her lips together. “I’m sure that there’s lots that I haven’t told you. It’s only been a week after all, but if you ask, I’ll be honest.”

She heard him open his mouth, but then he must have closed it because his chin rested gently on top of her head.

Lily heard scuffed footsteps from behind her and straightened, turning to look.

“Oh!” It was a maid who looked as though she had been about to close the door. “I’m so sorry,” She bowed her head, “I didn’t know that anyone was in here. There was a draft so I was-” She looked flustered and Lily wished that she could talk to her like she used to talk to people before they all found out she was a princess. “But please, take as much time as you’d like.”

“Oh don’t worry about it,” James took a step back from Lily and she suddenly felt cold. She let go of his hand to wrap her arms around herself. “We should head back to the party anyway. We’ve been gone for quite a while.” He pulled up his wrist to consult his watch. “Longer than I thought,” He had a slight frown and Lily knew that she was still feeling the effects of the champagne because she wanted to reach over and push the corner of his mouth upward with her fingers. She refrained.

He looked over at her and started shrugging out of his jacket. “Stop,” Lily shook her head, “We’re going back inside, I’m fine. Though I would like another biscuit,” She held out her hand and instead of handing her one, he took her hand in his and then pulled one out of his pocket, which she then had to take with her free hand. He grinned at her and she took a bite.

“Alright, you’ve got your snacks, I think that means we’re ready.” She squeezed his hand and let him lead her back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me a review!


	8. Chapter 8

No one asked where they had gone off to, no one even mentioned that their absence had been noticed, Lily only knew that not to be true based on the looks she was getting from both her grandmother and Mary. 

She was supposed to be getting to know James though, so she wasn’t going to let her grandmother make her feel bad for sneaking off. And Mary could shove that smarmy grin right up her arse, Lily did not care for it at all. 

“Don’t leave me alone,” Lilly reminded him, and she felt his grip on her hand tighten. 

“I promised you that I wouldn’t.” He reminded her back, “And besides, we’ve got more dancing to do.” 

She could feel people’s eyes on them now.

“You know why they’re looking at us, right?” James asked as he pulled her back into his arms and started swaying in time with the music. 

“Of course,” She felt a bit steadier now. It didn’t feel like her feet were made of bubbles, things were less sparkly, though James’ eyes still shone brightly. “We’re so beautiful that they couldn’t help but stop whatever they were doing before we walked it.”

James laughed, and Lily didn’t wonder if it was for show, because it sounded the same as it had in the greenhouse. “I was going to say something along those lines,” He spun her out so she could twirl, and she took great satisfaction in how her dress belled out, almost completely able to ignore her spinning head. 

She gripped his arm tight when he pulled her back. “Perhaps less spinning.” 

“I forgot that you were… unstable.” 

Lily laughed and shook her head. “I don’t think that’s better than someone hearing you say that I’m tipsy. Unstable might be worse.”

“I tried,” He sighed.

They danced through a couple songs, until a particularly slow song had Lily swaying on her feet, fighting a yawn. James suggested more food, which Lily appreciated greatly. 

The two of them made their way over to the food table, James still holding Lily’s hand, and she didn’t know if he had walked toward his friends, or if they had just appeared in front of them like it had seemed. 

“‘Lo, you two,” Sirius had his arms crossed still. Lily wondered if perhaps he’d walked around like that since James and her had left for the green house. She giggled. 

“Lo to you too,” She nodded at him and then picked up a piece of candied fruit. 

“Where did you two disappear to?” Remus asked, looking less prickly than Sirius, but just as curious.

“Why is it any of your concern?” James replied at the same time Lily said, “The greenhouse of course.” They looked at each other and Lily started giggling again. 

“Did you drug her?” Peter asked, his voice thankfully low. 

“No!” Lily shook her head and looked around, just in case. “I’m fine. I’m just tired and everything is funny.” 

“So you’re drunk?” Sirius asked. 

“Perhaps I was earlier, but not anymore.” She shook her head and reached for more food. Why was it all so sweet? She needed something with a bit more substance. She heard Sirius sigh and that prompted her memory. “Oi! Why are you upset with me?” She looked at James. “Is my voice loud?” 

“No, you’re fine.” He was grinning behind his glass of champagne. She didn’t know where he got that, but she should probably steer clear. 

She looked back at Sirius, waiting for an answer. 

“Who says I’m upset with you?” He asked, refusing to even look at her.

Lily raised her brows and then snorted. “Really? Alright, you can act like a child if you want. Mary does it all the time, I’ve learned how to be patient.” 

Peter seemed to appreciate her jab at Sirius, but Remus just looked back and forth between them. “Perhaps this is just a conversation that the two of you should have somewhere else?” He suggested. 

“So he really is upset with me,” She turned on James. “You said that he wasn’t.” 

“He’s not.” He repeated. 

“I am so,” Sirius argued. 

“See,” Lily pointed at Sirius. 

James sighed and took another few sips of champagne. 

“Does anyone have the time?” Remus asked, looking around the lot of them. He wasn’t that great at changing the subject, but Lily supposed he deserved a gold star for effort. 

“You’re wearing a watch,” Sirius snapped. “And I am upset-”

“Not here, Sirius. Walk away if you can’t keep your opinions to yourself.” James voice was firm, and Lily didn’t understand what was going on. She was tired, and still slightly tipsy. 

“Where is Mary?” She asked, looking around the room. “She’s probably with Gran,” She mused. “Is it late? Are we heading out soon?” 

“It’s a little after eleven,” Remus answered, looking down at the watch he was indeed wearing. 

Lily nodded, “Perhaps we should make our rounds then, start saying goodbye.” 

“I don’t think we need you to tell us what to do.” Sirius muttered. 

Lily gave him a tight-lipped smile and shook her head. “I’m sorry. For whatever it is you’re upset about, but I wasn’t talking to you.” She looked up at James. “We’ll work our way up to the Prime Minister and then we can head out.” 

He nodded and then finished his glass of champagne, setting it down on the table when he was done. He mused up his hair, “Alright, sounds like a good plan.” 

It had taken slightly longer than Lily had anticipated to say goodnight and goodbye to the party goers. Gordon had pulled her aside to show her a very cute photo of his granddaughter he had taken before she had gone off to bed earlier that night and then that prompted his wife, Maelin to show her a slideshow of (very adorable) photos of other grandbabies, nieces and nephews. 

By the time everyone was all piled into the car, it was almost one in the morning. 

“I’m never eating again,” Mary said as she collapsed, her head on Lily’s shoulder. Lily rested her head on top of Mary’s in turn and sighed. 

“I didn’t get to eat much.” She lamented. 

James let go of her hand, which somehow kept ending up in his hand, and then brought it back over to her with a biscuit enclosed. 

“Oh, you’re the best,” Lily took the biscuit and quickly devoured it. She didn’t see Mary smiling at her. 

“I can hear you chewing on my head.” 

“What does it sound like?” 

“It sounds like when Reggie tries to sing.” 

Lily snorted. “That doesn’t make any sense.” 

“I haven’t gotten to make fun of him in a while.” 

“He’ll be here soon,” Lily turned to kiss Mary’s crown. 

“I don’t miss him.” 

“Bullshite,” This was from Anita. Lily didn’t try and contain her giggles. 

“Gran!” Mary sat upright, dislodging Lily’s head from its perch. “You’re a queen, you’re not to swear in front of children!” 

“Yeah,” Lily was still giggling. “I wasn’t even covering Mary’s ears.” And then she was yawning and letting her head lean back against the seat. “I’m going to fall asleep now. Why am I so tired?” 

“You had like three sips of an alcoholic beverage and you hold your liquor like a bottomless cup.” Mary reached over and pinched her cheek and Lily knew that she heard Sirius laughing. Perhaps he wasn’t as mad at her as he had thought he was. Or maybe he just liked Mary. Either way, he didn’t seem upset. 

“A bottomless cup, sure. I would have been a bit better if I had a proper meal before we came. Or if I’d gotten to eat while I was there.”

“Lillian Jane,” Anita’s voice was sharp but lacked any real barb. “How many drinks did you have?” 

“More than I’m supposed to while at a state function, that’s for sure,” She let her eyes close. 

“Two drinks, that’s the limit.” Anita was probably holding up two fingers, but Lily couldn’t see her, and she wasn’t going to open her eyes now. 

“I know the limit, and I know why we have the limit and it’s a good limit. I however, went over the limit tonight. But it’s alright, because James found me and fed me and then didn’t let me say anything strange to anyone, so no one knows anything.” She wasn’t going to explain to her Gran that she hadn’t ‘technically’ gotten drunk, since speaking in terms of technicality never won her any points. 

“Well I’m glad at least one of you can manage to be responsible,” Lily was pretty sure she heard Sirius and maybe Peter laughing now. 

“I can’t tell if you’re still trying to tell me off or not,” Lily sighed. “I’ll be perfect tomorrow, alright?” 

The car was quiet for a beat.

“Did that sound angsty? I didn’t mean for it to sound angsty.” 

“I don’t need you to be perfect, Lily.” Anita’s voice was softer now and Lily felt her eyes sting for no reason at all. No reason that she wanted to dwell on. 

She forced herself upright and opened her eyes. “I know that,” She said, smiling. “No one is perfect, all we can do is our best.” 

“Exactly,” Anita smiled back, but her smile looked false, so that meant that she knew that Lily’s smile was false and that they would have to talk about all this later. 

Lily did what she could to push it from her mind though, because there was no way that she was going to break down in the back of a car with James and his mates there to witness it.

Lily got to sleep in on Thursday. 

And that meant she got to sleep until eight thirty. 

She savored every damn minute of that extra hour and a half too. Her body woke her up at seven, since that’s when she woke up every day, but she loved getting to lay in bed and do nothing without feeling guilty. 

It was eight twenty-seven when she remembered what was happening today. 

Her sister was visiting. 

And then she was bolt upright and panicking. 

She hadn’t talked to her sister honestly in years, she hadn’t sat down and had a real and true conversation with her since before she’d started dating Vernon Dursley, her now husband and father of her only son. 

She had seen her sister a year ago, a few months after Dudley Dursley was born, but her sister, for the most part, had refused to talk to her. 

They had exchanged pleasantries and smiled at each other for their mother’s sake, but that was about it. Enough time for Lily to fall absolutely head of heels in love with her nephew, but not long enough for either sister to get anything meaningful said. 

She tried to think about how this day was going to go, and every time she pictured having to greet her sister and Vernon, she just wanted to crawl back under all the blankets and stay there for the rest of the day. 

That of course, wasn’t an option. 

So she got up, and she got dressed in something respectable that she would change out of the moment she was able, and she went down to breakfast with the intention of grabbing her itinerary, saying a quick good morning, shoving toast and eggs into her mouth as quickly as she could and then dashing off with a liter of coffee.

But everyone was in the dining room when she arrived. 

Everyone. 

Her grandmother sat at the head of the table, Mary at her side, James and his mates were there and then there was Bertram, sitting on the other side of Anita, looking down at his hands. 

“Good morning all,” She said, looking around the table, eyeing Bertram in particular. Why was he sitting near Anita? That was Lily’s seat. And why was Mary glaring at him like she was? 

She looked around the table, Sirius looked slightly smug, but no one else was meeting her gaze. She looked back at her grandmother, “Is everything alright?” 

“No,” Anita replied harshly, picking up one of the newspapers she always had with her every morning and tossing it down the table for Lily to pick up. 

Lily had a sinking feeling in her gut and she didn’t want to look at the paper. She didn’t want to see what it said. She was already so cautious and nervous around the press, she didn’t need any more reason to fear leaving her home. 

But they were all waiting for her to pick up the paper. And so she did. 

_Second in Line for the Throne cuts the Line at Prime Minister’s State Dinner. _

Lily didn’t read beyond the headline, the picture was damaging enough. Her and Bertram were dancing, smiling at each other, which would have been bad enough. But James was in the background of the picture, looking none too happy as he watched them smile at one another.

She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to center herself, to figure out how she wanted to deal with this. 

“Are they outside?” She asked, looking at her grandmother. 

“They have been since six.” She nodded, and then she flipped open another paper and disappeared behind it. She wasn’t going to ask Lily to explain anything, and she wasn’t going to tell her how to deal with the press either. 

“When is my sister arriving?” She asked. 

“Her and her family will be here at ten. I’m having Alastor pick them up from the airport so that they arrive safely and on time.” 

“Thank you,” She nodded, because even though she wasn’t looking forward to seeing her sister or brother-in-law, she still felt the need to thank you Gran for looking after them. She was sure that Petunia would have a relationship with Anita had things gone differently, but this would be Petunia’s first visit to the castle in Gryffindor. Her first time in Gryffindor, actually. 

“Your family is my family.” Anita replied, still behind her paper. 

She nodded and then glanced around the table, everyone was looking at her now. 

She had two things to do. 

First, she had to go and talk to the press, because a non-statement would let everyone else make up what that meant, and the second thing she had to do, was greet her sister. Hopefully the press would be gone by then, or maybe they wanted some pictures of Lily with her sister and nephew. 

That would be better than the picture on the paper in front of her. 

Why did they have to use a picture that James was in too?

“Alright,” She reached over and snagged a piece of toast. “I’ll go and talk to the press then. Mary, could you save some coffee for me.” 

“Of course,” She nodded, and Lily couldn’t read her voice. She couldn’t tell what her friend was thinking. “I’ll make it extra sweet for you.” 

“Thank you,” Lily nodded and then spun on her heel and walked out of the room, feeling everyone’s eyes on her as she went. 

“Sit down,” She heard her grandmother say to someone as she stepped into the hallway, and she didn’t know who she was speaking to, but she had a suspicion that it was Bertram. 

It was pretty much confirmed when Sirius snickered. 

“Goddamnit.” She muttered once she was clear of the room and down the hall a way. She turned the corner and then spun towards the wall and kicked it. 

It was a stupid thing to do and she immediately paid for it because the sting shot up her leg and brought tears to her eyes. Not that she didn’t already feel like she was on the verge of tears. 

“Well why did you do that?” That was James, and she found that she wasn’t at all disappointed that he’d followed her down the hallway. 

“That’s why Sirius was mad, wasn’t it?” She asked, standing up straight and facing him. “Because Gordon was right, and it was stupid to dance with Bertram. He told me that this was going to happen, he came up to dance with me and told me that he wasn’t going to be the only one to notice that I danced with Bertram before I danced with you. He tried to bury it for me, he had his nephew in line to dance with me after him and then the line just sort of naturally formed. 

But then I forgot about it entirely, because I had too much to drink and you had biscuits in your pockets,” She closed her eyes as the tears spilled onto her cheeks. 

James came up to her and gently pulled her into his arms. “Shh,” He rubbed small circles on her back. “I did have biscuits in my pockets, it’s no wonder that you didn’t remember anything else.” She let out a watery laugh and laced her arms around him as well, pushing her cheek against his chest. “I have some more now, if you’d like them.” 

She snorted, “No you don’t,” 

“I do so,” He let one of his arms fall from around her and reached into his jacket pocket. She laughed again when he produced a strawberry biscuit. She squeezed him tighter and then reached up for the treat. 

“Why are you so sweet to me?” She sighed and he kissed the top of her head, as though it was just something that he did all the time.

“Well, I’m going to marry you.” He answered. 

She laughed again and stepped back so she could look at him. “Are you sure you still want to? I’m sort of a wreck.” 

“I don’t think that I’m going to change my mind. Besides, I’ve already agreed, yes? And a gentleman never goes back on his word.” 

“Yes, I know, you’re fantastic, more than I deserve for sure,” He looked ready to argue but she held up a hand. “It’s important to me that you know that you don’t have to do this. That you _can _change your mind. I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve trapped you here or roped you into something that you didn’t sign up for.” 

He was quiet for a moment as he looked her over. 

“Do you want me to be here?” He asked, his brow knit together. 

She didn’t know how honest she should be just then. Under his heavy gaze she felt like turning into a puddle and falling back into his arms. So she just bit the tip of her tongue and nodded, trying to keep any more tears from falling. 

He reached over and brushed the stray tears from her cheeks and then leaned over and kissed her forehead, so easily affectionate. “Then I’d like to be here.”

Lily felt completely ridiculous, and she didn’t think that she deserved any of his kindness just then, but she still stole comfort from the affection, she still closed her eyes and let herself breath for a moment. 

“So let’s go over things, one at a time,” James said, putting his hands on her shoulders for a moment, and then they slid down her arms and one of his hands wrapped around hers. “Do you know what you want to say to the press? Are you sure that talking to them is a good idea?” 

“I have a vague idea,” She shrugged. “And I’m not sure, but if I choose to say nothing then they get to put whatever words they want into my mouth. If I somehow manage to flip the story on it’s head, then I come out looking unbothered and in control.” 

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were in a position of a magic wand.” 

She narrowed her brows at him. “I don’t have a magic wand. I was going to tell them, after they bring it up, that I accepted Bertram’ request to dance in order to show parliament and the people of Gryffindor, that there is no animosity or rivalry going on between Bertram and myself. We are on friendly terms, and he has said himself that he can’t wait to see me take the throne.” She reached up and bit the tip of her thumb. “Maybe I’ll leave that last bit out, I don’t really want to reiterate that there is another option for who takes the crown. Not after that stupid paper already reminded everyone. That’s not what their story is about, so I don’t want to make it what the story is about.” She looked up at James. “I didn’t actually read past the headline, but judging by the picture, the story is not about how Bertram is second in line and could potentially take my throne, right?” 

“Right,” 

“Alright then.”

_“Is_ that why you danced with him?” 

Lily looked up at him. “Are you asking me if my mind is always thinking over the politically advantageous routes I should take when making split of the moment decisions? If you are, then no. I danced with him because he asked me to dance twice and I couldn’t say ‘no’ again.” It was both the truth and not the truth, but she didn’t want to explain to James that she was having weird and unwanted feelings for Bertram, so she settled for her half-lie feeling only slightly bad for her dishonesty. 

But really, she had no reason to explain those feelings to James. It wasn’t as though they would matter at the end of the month anyway, because Bertram would move out and Lily would marry James and that would be that. 

So why talk something like that out? It wouldn’t help anyone to hash it out.

And it wasn’t as though whatever she had with James was even a real relationship, not yet anyway. It would only serve to make things awkward between them, and Lily liked how they were now. 

She liked that they were friends and that he was sweet to her and that he made her laugh. She liked that every time she was around him, she no longer felt nervous and overwhelmed by everything. She felt calm and capable of critical thought and she never felt like she had to be careful around him. She could complain about the press or joke about Mary or ask him why his friends hated her. 

Although, if she started keeping secrets now…

She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. She’d forgotten to put it up that morning. 

“You can always use me as an excuse if that would help in the future,” James had been quite while Lily had worked through all that in her mind, and she wondered if he could see what she’d been thinking written out on her face. 

“As an excuse?” 

“Oh yes,” He nodded. “You saw the picture, I’m a horribly jealous man.” 

She smiled when she saw his smirk and shook her head again. “That’s quite terrific actually. It could get me out of dancing with anyone.”

“I don’t mind if a few blokes are annoyed with me, so just, you know, remember you have that card to play as well.” Lily knew that he was mostly joking, or at least that he understood that even if she wanted to turn down most of the people that asked her to dance, she couldn’t. She could use him in other ways though, excuse herself from dancing to go and find him. She’d done the same thing with her grandmother before. 

“So,” Lily folded her hands in front of her. 

“So,” 

“No, I was going to go on,” She grinned, “What did Bertram say to Sirius last night?” 

James’ grin didn’t exactly fall at her question, he almost looked impressed. “I was going to tell you eventually, but not four minutes before you were going to step outside and talk to the press.” She nodded, understanding that logic, but still wanting to know. He squeezed her hand and shifted from one foot to the other, “He said something about not counting chickens before they hatch.”

“In reference to…” 

He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “My marrying you.” Lily narrowed her brows.

“Why would he say that?” 

“Well,” He wasn’t looking at her now. “He seemed to be implying that-” He cleared his throat, “At least Sirius thought that he was implying that you might decide to marry him instead. Marry Bertram, not Sirius.” 

Her brow furrowed even more. “I have explicitly said to Bertram that I would not even consider marrying him.” She said this more to herself. 

“So you’ve discussed it then?”

“We’ve discussed the opposite of that,” Lily ran her hands over her face and sighed. “Lord Rosier told me that he’d prefer me to marry Bertram, I thought I told you that.” She looked up at him. “But he wants me to marry him because Bertram has a claim to the throne, and so it would be very easy for parliament to shift power away from me and to him. He wouldn’t be my consort if I married him.”

“Rosier started all this then.” 

“Of course, he did.”

“I wonder which paper that story was printed in.”

“That hardly matters right now.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue. “Why would Bertram tell Sirius something that he knew was false?”

James shifted around again. “Well, Sirius and Bertram don’t have the greatest track record for getting along. He might have just said it to get to him.” 

“Well that was an arsehole thing to do, because Sirius seemed to like me until last night.” James grinned at that. “What?” 

“I just appreciate that you want my friends to like you.” 

Lily felt an unnecessary blush creeping up her neck. “Of course, I do,” 

“Of course,” He nodded. “And what are you going to say to the press?” 

“I’m going to tell them that I danced with Bertram to show that there was no ill will between the two of us. Short and simple.” 

“And those were the previous rumors, so you have reason for wanting to show people that. Would you like me to go with you?” 

She bit her tongue again. It was a wonder she didn’t have a callus there. 

What would it look like if she brought James with her to talk to the press? What would it mean? He had only been here for about a week. Should she be toting him around like that?

“Perhaps not,” She said after a moment. “Though I would like you with me when I greet my sister.”

He nodded, “Of course. I look forward to meeting her.”

“I don’t mean to poison the well, but my sister is dreadful, and you shouldn’t look forward to meeting her or her husband.” She frowned, but then quickly smiled. “Though their son is adorable and sweet. Dudley.” 

He laughed. “Alright, so I will look forward to meeting your nephew then.”

“Yes,” She nodded. “I’ll see you in-” She looked at her watch. “Forty-Five minutes.” 

Dealing with the press should have been quick and simple. The first question she took was the one that she’d been prepared for. And they seemed appeased by her answer. She planned to take a few more questions to make it seem like she hadn’t come out here simply to talk about Bertram, but the very next question they asked, threw her. 

“Princess! What do you have to say about the reports that you and Lord James Potter snuck off in the middle of the party?” This was from a perky, blonde reporter that Lily recognized. It was a fairly tame question coming from her as well. 

Lily stood up straighter, “James and I did go for a walk during the party.” 

“What did you do on the walk? Where did you go? Are there witnesses who can confirm what you’re saying? How does Bertram feel about you stringing him along?” 

Lily blinked and had to force herself not to react more than that. “We weren’t hiding, so I’m sure that many people saw us. We walked down to the Prime Minister’s greenhouse. It’s absolutely beautiful in there, he and his wife have such a wide variety of plants. I’m surprised that I have only heard about it from him to be honest.” 

“Have you seen the pictures, Princess?” Someone asked from a few meters away from Rita. 

“Which pictures?” Lily asked. 

“The pictures of you and Lord James Potter, Princess,” He asked, holding out a paper for her to take. She declined. 

“James and I had many pictures taken of us last night, I’m sure that I haven’t seen them all.” 

“Let me see that,” Rita snatched the paper out of the other reporter’s hands. “What is this?” 

“It’s the princess and Lord Potter dancing in the greenhouse, Rita, what does it look like?” 

Rita frowned almost as predominantly as Lily did. “What?” And now Lily held out her hand. “Where did you get these pictures from?” She looked at the title of the paper, and it wasn’t one of the big ones, but she’d seen it before. 

_Straight out of a Fairytale: Lord Potter and the Princess Dance in the Moonlight_

It was a lovely picture of the two of them, looking very much enchanted by one another. 

“Thank you,” She said, tucking the paper under her arm. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. “That is all the questions that I’m going to take right now. My sister and her family will be arriving soon, and I have a few last-minute things to do to get ready.” She nodded and though the reporters continued to shout questions at her, she walked back up the steps and through the castle doors. 

Once she was back inside, she pulled out the paper again and looked down at the picture. She let herself smile for a moment, appreciate how content she looked, how he was looking at her as though he adored her. It was a well-timed photograph, and it did look as though it had been taken right out of a fairytale. 

It was also an invasion of privacy and so the smile faltered after a moment. She looked at the photo and thought of how someone had stolen this moment from her. How they had taken something that had been lovely and private and given it to the world when it should have been just hers. 

But then she remembered what James had said after they had finished playing badminton. 

They could only ruin something if she let them. It was still a wonderful and private moment, even if the world had this picture and whatever the article was about. It was still her moment, unless she gave them the right to take it from her. 

She took a deep breath and wondered exactly how she was supposed to just decide that this didn’t bother her. 

She shook her head and tucked the paper under her arm, walking off to get ready for Petunia’s arrival. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews are my favorite!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back on our normal schedule. I do like my schedule. 
> 
> I hope everyone is having a nice time this holiday season, or just managing to get through it all. 
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter, I promise James will be in the next chapter more!

James was waiting with her gran when she got down to the front room. Moody had just called to let them know that he was five minutes out and Lily’s heart was in her throat. She really didn’t want to be dreading this as much as she was, but she couldn’t help it. She had no idea what to expect, other than the worst of course.

“You handled the press well,” Her gran smiled at her as she walked in. 

“Thank you,” She didn’t know why her grandmother knew what she had said already but her praise did calm her slightly.

“Ludo Bagman called, and he’d like to have you and James on next week. I told him I wasn’t sure if it would be possible, but I think you should do it.” This came from her gran’s assistant and possible shadow, Emma Vanity. She was blunt and tactless for the most part, and that was part of the reason her grandmother loved her so much. If Lily were to behave like that, she would get shouted at until her ears fell off, but Emma’s job was to deliver news, and that required a firm hand on occasion. “James’ approval ratings were already high, but after the statement you made, they bumped another four points. Your own approval rating went up two points.

And equally important privately, not publicly, Bertram’s approval rating has dropped seven points because of the Sun’s article about the two of you. People did not like the idea that he was attempting to steal you away from James. Whoever chose that picture was woefully mistaken about what kind of affect it would have.”

“They chose it to tarnish Lily’s reputations.” Anita said, fixing the cuffs of her shirt. 

“Yes, but it didn’t. It only made it seem like Bertram was doing something that he shouldn’t be. No one believes that the Princess is going to have an affair with someone who could make a play for her throne. They love Lily. They also love James and Lily together.” 

Lily bit her tongue and looked down at her feet. She knew that it was important to talk about these things, but she still felt uncomfortable about it. Especially when they spoke about her like she wasn’t standing right there.

“Of course they do,” James spoke, causing Emma and Anita to look over at him like they had forgotten he knew how to do that. He walked over to Lily and took her hand. “What did you say to the press? Because we had talked about it, and it wasn’t part of the plan to bring me up.” 

Lily felt herself starting to blush, but she looked up at James anyway. “They have pictures of us in the greenhouse.” She said quietly, not sure if Emma or Anita knew about those pictures yet.

“Oh yes!” Emma confirmed that she did in fact know about them, of course, Lily should have assumed. “Those are absolutely lovely. If I wasn’t in charge of such things, I would have thought that I had staged the entire thing myself. Great job you two,” She smiled at them and then went back to talking quietly with Anita. 

Lily turned back to James with wide eyes. 

“I haven’t seen them. Do you think it was the maid?” 

Lily shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t know. Does it matter?” 

James quirked a brow. “Does it?” 

“I don’t know. I’m trying not to let it get to me, but it’s not as easy as you make it sound.” 

James chuckled, “It’s not easy. I’m not thrilled that someone was spying on us when we thought we were alone.”

Lily narrowed her eyes slightly. “So I can be angry about it?” 

“Of course you can,” James looked slightly confused. “What I was saying before, I just meant that you shouldn’t let people ruin things for you. We had a nice time last night, which is separate from someone spying on us. Isn’t it?” 

Lily frowned. “I’m not sure I know how to separate them yet. But I am trying.” She cleared her throat. “It is a really nice picture.” She allowed. “I mean, they shouldn’t have shared it, but…” When she looked back at him, he was smiling at her. 

“They’re here,” Someone announced, running over to the doors and pulling them open. 

Lily’s smile fell from her face instantly, and James squeezed her hand. “She’s not staying long, yes? We’ll get through it.” 

They were partners. That’s what Anita had reminded them when he first arrived, and it felt true in this moment. He wasn’t going to make her go through this alone. He had said that he wanted to be here with her. 

“Thank you,” She said again. 

And then Vernon was walking through the door, Petunia trailing after him with a rather large toddler in her arms. Dudley was pulling at her hair and shouting about something and Lily felt her heart lurch. She immediately wanted to go over and pick him up and smother him in hugs and kisses. She didn’t know what he was upset about, but she wanted to make it better. 

But she couldn’t do that though, because she didn’t want to make her sister leave immediately. She didn’t know why Petunia was here, but she wanted to find out before Petunia stormed out in anger. 

She let go of James’ hand and walked up to her sister. “Petunia, I’m so glad that you’re here,” She smiled at Dudley, who immediately stopped pulling his mother’s hair to hide his face from Lily. “Hullo, Dudley, you’ve gotten so big,” 

“Yes, well that’s what children do, Lily. They grow. And you haven’t seen him in over a year, so of course he’s bigger.” And any hope Lily had had about her and Petunia burying the hatchet died in that moment. 

“Right,” She sighed. 

“I’ll remind you that you are guests here in the castle,” Anita smiled as she walked up, but her voice was barbed. “If you’re going to forget your manners, you can find another place to stay.” 

Lily was surprised by just how quickly things had escalated. 

“Your majesty,” Petunia nodded her head toward Anita, and Vernon quickly swept into a deep bow. When Anita was not around, he was quick to comment on how small of a country Gryffindor was and how it could never actually accomplish anything on a global scale. But Anita was a queen and that meant something to him, even if Lily being a princess meant nothing at all. 

“It’s very good to see you again, your majesty,” Vernon said. “And the car you sent for us was a truly remarkable model. I don’t think we would have been safer in a tank,” He chuckled, and Lily was once again reminded that she knew nothing about this man other than that he was stuck up and fathered her sister’s child. 

“Vernon,” She turned to him with her hand out, “I’m so glad that you and Petunia decided to come and visit.” 

“Sure,” He nodded. “I’m surprised we’ve never been invited, but yes. It’s good to finally be here.” 

Lily looked over at Petunia, who was looking quite intensely at the button at the top of Dudley’s jumper. “A loss in translation, I’m sure.” She said while still glaring at her sister. 

“Oh yes, I’m sure that’s all it is.” Petunia looked up at her, her lips pressed into a thin line. 

James stepped up beside her and Lily wanted to look over at him and give him a look to let him know that she couldn’t believe how rude they were being, but she couldn’t without them watching her, so she just motioned to him with her hand. “This is Lord James Potter, he and his friends are staying with us as well. James, this is my sister Petunia, her husband Vernon, and their son Dudley.” 

“A pleasure to meet you all,” He held out his hand to Petunia first, who sighed and shifted Dudley into her other arm so she could shake his hand. 

“Charmed,” She said without sounding remotely charmed. 

James turned to Vernon next. 

“A Lord, eh? That’s just a title, so what’s your actual job? Or do you not have one?” 

Anita clapped her hands together, “I think it’s time for tea, don’t you?” She asked Lily, her brow high and her eyes glowering. If her sister and her husband weren’t careful, they would get kicked out of the castle before lunch. 

Tea was dreadful and lunch was worse, but then it was time for Dudley’s nap so the little family retired to their rooms for the afternoon and Lily wouldn’t have to see them again until who knows when. 

Her grandmother was swept away by Emma and Lily told James she was going to go and hunt Mary down and shout at her for not showing up this morning. James agreed that that was the right thing to do.

Mary was in her room with her headphones on, painting her nails and somehow also watching _The Princess Bride_ on the TV. Lily shook her head and walked over to Mary, pulling the headphones off her head and tossing them onto the bed. 

“I see you’ve managed to sneak off.” Mary said, not at all startled by Lily’s sudden presence. 

“Where have you been?” 

“I’m very busy today, Lily. I can’t be bothered with whatever garbage your sister brought with her to the castle today. 

“You don’t get to avoid her if I can’t.”

“Yes I do. She’s not my sister.”

“But _I _am, and you can’t do that to me.” 

Mary pursed her lips. “You had Gran and I bet James, you were fine. You didn’t need me.” 

“Of course I did!” Lily fell backward onto Mary’s bed and looked over at the TV, watching Inego and Westly sword fight across the top of The Cliffs of Despair. 

“Okay, I hear you. But your sister makes me want to throw heavy pottery at her head.” Mary came over and sat next to Lily on the bed, keeping her hands in the air and her fingers spread apart. “Also, let’s not talk about Petunia right now, I am already being affected by her negative energy and I’ve yet to see her.” Lily sighed and covered her face with her hands. “Let’s talk about what happened last night.” 

“So much happened last night, to what are you referring?” 

“You danced with Bertram?” 

“Of course I did, but you’ve been hiding all morning and I’ve already talked about this to death with James.” She propped herself up on her elbows. “Did you see the pictures they have of James and I?” 

“Did you take my advice and push him up against a wall?” Mary bounced excitedly, which Lily took as a ‘no.’

“No, Mary,” Lily tilted her head to the side. “We danced in the greenhouse and someone was spying on us and took pictures and sold them to a paper. It’s kind of put the whole Bertram situation to bed.” 

Mary narrowed her brow and then swore under her breath as she gave up holding her fingers apart to pick up her phone. “And I’ve already smudged one,” She sighed as she started typing away. “Holy fuck, Lily, you’re in love with James.” She turned her phone toward Lily’s face, and she was face to face with the same photo that she’d seen earlier. 

“That is what it looks like. Both our approval ratings have gone up apparently. Ludo wants us on his show.”

“Ludo Bagman?” 

“Yep.” 

“Oh that’s exciting!”

“Is it?” 

“Don’t be jaded.”

“Ludo is a sensationalist.” 

“That isn’t a bad thing. People enjoy sensationalism. So it’s probably a good thing for a feel good television host to be.” 

Lily shrugged. “I suppose. He just always seems so fake every time he has me on.” 

“His teeth are definitely fake,” Mary snickered, now trying to fix her smudged nail with the screen of her phone. “But let’s circle back, yeah? A lot happened yesterday. How are we feeling about James?”

Lily sat up and took a sharp breath. “I don’t know, Mary. I met him less than a week ago.”

Mary looked away from her nail and raised a brow at her. “That was a bit aggressive.”

Lily shook her head. “I didn’t mean for it to be, but I don’t know why you think I’m going to just fall in love with him. I don’t know him! I like him as a person so far, I enjoy spending time with him, but I’m not marrying him because I like him. I’m marrying him because I have to. And I don’t mind you teasing of course, but when you actually make it sound like I’m _supposed _to have feelings for him, like I can somehow manufacture them, it’s frustrating.” 

Mary’s eyebrow went up even higher. “Darling, angle, love of my life, shut the fuck up.” 

Lily rounded on her, surprised. “What?” 

“I was in no way shape or form asking you if you’re in love with him when I asked, ‘how are we feeling about James?’ I was simply asking you how you feel about him. In a general, broad sense. You’re the one who is putting all that other pressure on yourself. It’s why you’ve been walking around so tense and angry, constantly in fight or flight. It’s why you’ve started letting your guard down with Bertram, because there are no expectorations there-”

“Stop, Mary. I didn’t mean to yell at you, but I don’t need you to pull out your psychology degree on me.” 

“Repressing all this shit isn’t healthy.” 

“You should make t-shirts.” Lily rolled her eyes. 

Mary pressed her lips together and Lily could see that she clearly wanted to say more, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it, so she didn’t encourage her to go on. 

“I love you, Lily.” She said instead of whatever she had been thinking. “And I don’t want to watch you back yourself into a corner. But I also understand that you’ve watched me do it a dozen or so times because falling is the best way to learn how to get up or some shit. And if you’re not going to listen to me then you’re going to fall. Probably on your face because you’re a fucking clutz.” 

“I’m not doing anything that I shouldn’t be doing! I’ve befriended Bertram, I’m trying to get to know James, I’ve smiled at everyone and spoke measuredly-”

“You have to take care of you too.” Mary interrupted. “That is what I have been getting at through all of this. You can’t live your life in a constant performance for other people or you’re going to lose it.” 

“I feel like you’ve been lecturing me ever since James got here.”

“It’s uncomfortable for me too. I miss the times when you used to lecture me. And now I have to be the responsible one and it makes me want to dye my hair blue and move to New York City. I’m itchy constantly now!” 

Lily laughed and shook her head. “Alright, I hear you.”

“Do you?”

“Yes,” Lily said emphatically. “I need to take care of myself and actually process what’s going on around me.” 

“Oh she does listen,” Mary reached over and poked her cheek. “The next month is going to fly by, darling. Perhaps it’s time to pull out that old journal of yours.” 

Lily owned one journal and it was from her dad. She’d never met him, but before he died, he’d left her a birthday present for when she turned eighteen. Her grandmother had decided to give it to her when she was sixteen and deciding whether or not she wanted to be the princess of Gryffindor. 

In the beginning, she had been really good about taking time out of every day and writing in the journal. It was a good way to slow down time and remember what was important. 

But she’d fallen out of the habit while in college, there had been too many other things that she needed to write with her rigorous course load that allowed her to graduate two years early. 

“You might be on to something there,” 

“Everything I’ve said since you walked in here has been me being on to something.” Mary started inspecting her nails again. “I’m a genius, and I shouldn’t have to remind you of that so often.”

“You’re brilliant beyond measure, it’s true.” Lily pushed herself off the bed. ”I’ve got to go and get some work done in my office, but please don’t continue to avoid Petunia and Vernon.”

“I promise not to hide in my room for the entire time that they’re here.” 

“It’s only a couple of days.” Lily promised. “And then things will go back to their now normal chaos.” 

Mary laughed, it sounded almost like a cackle. “Next month, Lily. Next month things will calm down.” 

“Sure, but I’ll also have a husband and a crown. They won’t calm down that much.” 

She had almost 100 emails when she finally got to her office and decided to be productive. Most of them were from members of parliament and the media. One of them was from her mother. She clicked on that one first. 

‘_Dear Lily,_

_Petunia called me this afternoon to let me know that she arrived safely and to gush about the wonderful room that you’ve put her and Vernon in. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you and your sister are finally speaking to one another again and getting along so well. _

_I know that I should be there to help you through this crazy and difficult time of your life as well, and I will be as soon as I can. It will probably be closer to the end of the month. _

_Give my best to your grandmother and to Mary! _

_Don’t forget to send me pictures!_

_Love, _

_Mom’_

Lily re-read the email once, and then wished that she’d not opened it in the first place. 

She didn’t want to think about the tenuous relationship she had with her mother when she already had to think about the terrible relationship that she had with her sister. And on top of that, she was trying to navigate a new relationship with James, figure out what game Bertram was playing and get everything in line for both her twenty first birthday and her coronation. 

It was all too much. 

“Oh, good,” She looked up and was not happy to find Lord Rosier standing in her doorway. “I was hoping that you’d be in. I won’t have to leave you a note.” 

She took a deep breath. “I’m not in for long, Rosier. My sister is visiting today, and I have plans with her later.” 

“That’s fine, we don’t have to talk long. I know how important family is.” 

“And you know that it’s always okay to email me instead of coming all the way here on days we don’t have a meeting.” 

“Yes, yes, but I was already coming into town and since I’d be passing the castle anyway…” He waved his hand in the air and then invited himself into the office, taking the seat across from her. 

“What is it that you came all the way here to discuss?” 

“The stories floating around about you of course. One paper says you spent all night with James, the other says that you were with Bertram…” He chuckled. “And I know that the papers don’t always get it right, boy do I know,” She was getting uncomfortable because he was trying to make it sound like he was on her side, like he understood what she was going through. He was attempting empathy and it was unnerving. Like watching a snake cuddle with a child or adopt a kitten. 

Lily thought about pinching the bridge of her nose in a school matron manner, letting Rosier know exactly how tired of him she was, but she didn’t. She just smiled at him and said in a sweet voice, “I don’t believe rumors of the press are any of your concern.” 

“Oh, but dear, I do believe they are.” His smile was slick as oil.

“You will address me as ‘princess’ or ‘your highness.’” She clasped her hands together and leaned forward. “I’m not in the mood for your games today, Rosier. Spit it out already or leave.” 

He bristled, but only slightly. “I just wanted to tell you, give you a bit of a heads up if you will, that if the people start to lose faith in you, then parliament will have no choice but to reject-”

“My approval rating actually saw a bump today. So perhaps you don’t want to finish your ‘heads up.’” She clenched her jaw for a moment and resisted the urge to tell him that she wanted him banished from the castle permanently. 

He looked perplexed by that. “Your approval rating went up?” 

She really needed to stop grinding her teeth. “Yes.” She turned to the right and started riffling through a stack of newspapers that someone had left there. She got to the one she knew had a photo of her and James on page six and flipped it open for him before handing it over the desk. “This seems to be the story that everyone is focusing on, not some gossip about who I gave the first dance too.”

She so very rarely got to feel vindicated in Rosier’s presence, so she reveled in it for a moment, enjoying the shocked and then angry looks that came over his face. “I’m afraid I’ve given you all the time I can today, please close the door on your way out.” He looked up, his face still drawn tight, his mouth, in a strange upset, remained closed. “You can keep the paper if you wish.” She added when he stood up. 

He all but threw the paper onto her desk, but she didn’t care in the slightest. She finally felt like she won. It was a small victory, but not everything was about the big picture. She would remember this feeling the next time she had to listen to him try to lecture her. 

As soon as the door was closed, she leaned back in her chair and smiled. And then she laughed. She’d been in the red for so long when it came to Rosier, she’d been losing ground with him since she’d graduated from school, and now she’d grabbed a bit back from him. She hadn’t been the one to storm off angrily. 

She quickly emailed her mum back, telling her that she would definitely send pictures and that she couldn’t wait to see her at the end of the month. She did this before she had to think about it much and closed her laptop once the email was sent.

The day seemed as though it was going to go on forever. 

She was sitting in the garden with Petunia and her Gran, a pot of tea between them and a sour face for each of them. Lily was upset that Mary had failed to show again. Her gran was upset because Lily had been late, and Petunia was always upset. 

They’d been out here in silence for fifteen minutes now. 

Lily took a sip of her tea and then cleared her throat. Both the other women looked at her. “Mum told me that she’d like some pictures of us.” She said, looking at Petunia. “And she told me that you mentioned what a lovely time you’re having. I’m so glad to hear that you like your rooms.” 

Petunia busied her hands with her teacup. “Yes, they are lovely. And mum did mention sending her some pictures.” She smiled, and it was the first real smile that Lily had seen on her sister’s face since she’d arrived. “She said that she thought it would be cute if I got a photo of Dudley wearing on the guard’s hats or walking through this lovely garden.” 

“Oh Petunia, that would be adorable!” Lily saw her opening, and she took it, for herself and for her mother. “Dudley is such a handsome little tyke.” 

“He is, isn’t he? Looks like mum a bit, don’t you think?” She was still smiling, and Lily’s smile grew by the second. 

“Yes, it’s his eyes. They’re wide and curious like mum’s too.” 

Petunia nodded, “Yes, Marge- that’s Vernon’s sister- she says that she doesn’t see it. Thinks he looks just like their da, but I see it. You should have seen him at the zoo last month! He didn’t stop smiling the entire time, eyes bouncing from one animal to the next.” She started laughing and pulled out her phone. “I have this one photo of him and mum near the lion exhibit- hold on.” 

It was the most that Petunia had talked to her in years, the most she’d smiled at her since they’d found out that Lily was the princess of Gryffindor. And Lily couldn’t properly enjoy it, because she was too busy feeling jealous that Petunia got to see their mother whenever she wanted. 

Anita must have noticed her shift in attitude, because she reached under the table and took Lily’s hand, squeezing it. She glanced at her gran, who had taken her in and loved her fiercely and protected her against anyone who had said a word against her. And she loved her gran for it, she loved her more than anything, but it would have been nice to have her mother fighting for her as well. 

She leaned over, still smiling, when Petunia found the pictures on her phone. “Oh look at him,” Lily reached up and zoomed in on her nephew’s face, which was lit up in the most delightful grin. “I’m convinced that you have the cutest baby in the world.” 

“He is something special.” And then she flipped through a few more pictures. “Let me show you the one’s from his birthday.” 

“I’d love that,” Lily grinned, and she meant it. She’d missed sharing things with her sister, missed being a part of her life. When she’d agreed to be the princess, she hadn’t known how steep the cost was going to be. 

But perhaps things weren’t as hopeless as she’d thought they were this morning. Perhaps some of the damage could yet be mended. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! Thank you in advance for the reviews you're going to leave :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy last Sunday of the year friends!   
I almost forgot that today was a Sunday because I'm off work for a few more days (with the exception of tomorrow morning) and I haven't been paying attention to the days of the week.  
Lucky for you, I remembered that I was supposed to post this chapter about thirty minutes ago!   
Hope you enjoy!

The Dursley family opted to dine out on the town that night, which Lily was just fine with, because she and Petunia had managed to continue their pleasant afternoon tea, sending a few pictures of themselves to their mother, that Anita had graciously agreed to take of them. Lily was very proud of the fact that neither of them were forcing their smiles, and she didn’t think following that up with dinner would be wise. Not when Vernon would be there. 

So, she asked Amelia to have dinner sent up to her rooms and then collapsed face first onto her bed. 

Overall, it had been a rather good day. Perhaps a bit more stressful than normal, but overall, a good day.

Of course, she should not have let that thought slip by. 

There was a knock on her door. 

At first, she thought it was Amelia with her food, but then they knocked again, and Amelia wouldn’t have knocked twice, she would have just walked in. 

Mary wouldn’t knock either so she didn’t know who it could be. James maybe? Though she wasn’t even sure he knew where her rooms were since he’d never been here before. Though she had given him permission to explore the castle on his own, so he could have come across them on his own.

She rolled off her bed and straightened her clothes before walking to the door and pulling it open.

And there was Bertram.

She hadn’t even thought that that was a possibility. After seeing the look on his face that morning as he sat beside her gran, she thought that Bertram might not want to show his face for a while. Not that she blamed him for the story getting out, she was to blame. She’d forgotten to pay attention to the consequences of her choices. And she had chosen to dance with him despite her better judgment.

He still looked cowed and Lily shifted her weight from one foot to the other. It made her uncomfortable to see him without that arrogant and cocky air about him.

“Evening,” She said, keeping her hand on the door so that he didn’t think he could just walk in. She didn’t need any more rumors about him circulating, even if they didn’t leave the castle. She would learn from her mistake last night.

“I’m sorry for coming up to your rooms, I know that it’s not appropriate, but you’ve been so busy all day that I haven’t gotten the chance to speak with you.” He was wringing his hands in front of him, and she remembered that she’d forgotten to ask her gran what she had said to him that morning. Judging by the tone she’d used to tell him to sit down after she left the room, she had probably blamed him for the incident. But it wasn’t his fault.

“If this is about the paper this morning, please don’t worry about it.” She shook her head, keeping her hand on the door still. “I know that you had no part in it. And I should have been paying attention better. If I had actually thought about it for a moment, I would have realized that dancing with you first would have given someone a story to write.” But she wasn’t used to having to think about those things, because it had never matter before.

“Don’t blame yourself for what those rats write about us.” He shook his head, anger seeping into his earnest expression. “And it is about the paper this morning,” He looked up and down the hallway and then at her arm, still blocking his entrance to her room. She didn’t move, though she knew that he wanted in. “I feel like I should be the one to tell you this,” He sighed, resigning himself to having to tell her from the hallway. “My uncle owns the paper that ran that story.” 

Lily blinked at him. “What?” 

He reached up with both hands and pushed his hair away from his forehead. “I didn’t know that he was going to tell them to come up with a story about the two of us, or I wouldn’t have approached you at all last night. I’ve been trying to tell you all day, because I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.” His brow was knit, his mouth turned into a frown. 

Lily shifted, and then let her arm drop. This wasn’t a doorway conversation. He didn’t wait for her to invite him in, he rushed in as soon as she stepped aside. 

“I mean I knew that he was going to try something at some point,” He lamented, “But I thought that maybe, just _maybe_, he’d give what I wanted a moment of consideration. It would be a first, but still, I was hopeful that he’d just let me handle things how I saw fit.” He turned to her, his arms now crossed over his chest. It made him look smaller. “You’re not saying anything. Are you terribly angry with me?” 

She had her arms crossed over her chest as well, but she wasn’t sure that she was angry. She wasn’t happy to learn that Bertram’ uncle owned a newspaper that was trying to tank her reputation, that seemed like cheating, but it wasn’t his fault.

“No, I’m not angry with you.” She shook her head. “And I’m very grateful that you offered up this information when you didn’t have to. Thank you.” She reached over and patted his arm, probably because he looked like a nervous child and she was uncomfortable seeing him that way. 

“Of course, I had to tell you,” He countered. Putting his hand on top of hers just before she was going to pull it away. “If I didn’t and someone else did, you would have thought that I had something to do with it and I don’t want you to think that I would do anything to hurt you. Because I wouldn’t, princess.” 

She nodded and then looked at their hands. “Lily.” She said quietly. And when she looked back up at him, he was looking as though he’d been waiting for her to give him permission to use her first name. 

“Lily.” He repeated. 

“You’ve been staying here for a week now, there’s no need for that much formality.” 

“I’m glad,” Had they been this close a moment ago? When she looked up at his face, she found that it wasn’t that far from hers. Her heart jumped, startled by his proximity, but she didn’t step away. 

At least she didn’t step away immediately. 

She pulled her hand away gently and then spun around, walking across the room. 

“I’m sorry,” He said. 

“I’ve already said that there’s nothing to apologize for.” She stopped by the window and looked out across the grounds. She could see the stars tonight, despite the lights throughout the back garden. 

“Right.” She could hear him shuffle. “Then I should probably go.” 

She was glad that they weren’t going to try and talk about it, that he just understood without her saying anything. She didn’t know what she would say anyway. She didn’t know why she hadn’t taken her hand away right away, or why she’d hesitated in stepping back. This wasn’t how she normally felt when she fancied someone and she didn’t like being this confused. “That would be best.” 

“I’ll talk to my uncle again.” He promised. “I can’t believe he did this. Thank you for being so understanding.”

“Of course,” She turned back around, her arms across her chest again. He really was handsome, perhaps more so right now, when he wasn’t trying to be handsome. When he had been vulnerable and worried, when he’d let the act drop. He wasn’t trying to impress her with pretentious book titles, he wasn’t trying to explain away her anger or taking the side of her opposition. “Thank you for telling me the truth.” 

She followed him to the door, careful to keep a decent amount of space between them. 

He pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall. He turned back around to face her, and she put her arm back up on the door. She knew he wasn’t going to try and come in again, but it was an important message she thought. 

“Hopefully tomorrow morning goes a bit smoother.” He grinned. “Have a lovely night, Lily.” 

“Goodnight, Bertram.” She nodded and was about to step back into her room and close the door when she saw James standing on the other side of the hallway. 

It was like a repeat of that picture all over again.

Her stomach dropped as she watched his eyes flicker back and forth between her and Bertram. He was thinking one thing, but she was remembering something else. 

_Fuck._

“I was supposed to make a peach pie.” She muttered nonsensically under her breath. 

“What?” Bertram asked, narrowing his brow. 

“Nothing, goodnight, Bertram.” She stepped around him, toward James, her door falling closed behind her. Bertram started to say something, but she wasn’t listening. “James, I’m so sorry.” 

“No,” He shoved his hands into his pockets and Lily realized that he wasn’t dressed like he normally was. He was wearing dark jeans and a t-shirt, he looked more casual but also like he was going on a date. Her stomach dropped further. “No, don’t let me interrupt, I didn’t know that you were busy.” 

And he didn’t say it like he should have. He didn’t say it like he was angry or upset, he said it like he meant it sincerely and it only made Lily feel worse. 

And then he turned around and started down the hall.

Like she was just going to leave things at that. 

She followed after him and reached out, pulling his arm so he spun back around. His hand came up and raked through his hair and then he pushed his glasses up his nose, his eyes focused on something over her shoulder. Probably Bertram. She looked behind her to confirm it, and Bertram gave her an apologetic look that she didn’t like before he turned and walked quickly out of the hallway. 

“I forgot,”

“Obviously.” His tone was almost dry, like he was bored. Perhaps James wasn’t better than she was at dealing with everything. She was good at arguing though, and getting angry, so perhaps she could help him out here. 

“Look at me, please.” And he did, keeping his face blank. “Today has felt like it’s been going on forever, and with everything going on, I forgot that we had made plans to have dinner together.” He nodded, but didn’t say anything more. She felt like stomping her foot. “James,” 

“Yes?” 

“You need to tell me what you’re thinking.” He shook his head. 

“I don’t think I do.”

“No you do, otherwise you’re going to sulk off and keep thinking of all the things you’d wished you’d said to me, and you’ll get more and more upset and it’ll be much worse.”

He looked at her for a moment and then his jaw jutted to the side, the first visible sign that he was upset at all, and he looked away. “Why was Bertram in your room?” 

She blinked, having completely forgot that Bertram was at all involved in this. He shouldn’t have been. She hadn’t wanted to let him in her room, she shouldn’t have let him in her room. Just like she shouldn’t have danced with him. If Bertram hadn’t shown up at all, James would have been the one to knock on her door. He might not be so upset either. “Bertram was telling me that his uncle owns the paper that printed that terrible story about me this morning.”

“And he thought it was appropriate-”

“He just wanted to tell me about it before someone else did.” Lily said quickly. She didn’t want him to get stuck on Bertram, she didn’t think that’s what he was actually upset about. “He shouldn’t have come up here so late, and he knew that, but he didn’t want me to hear it from someone else and think that he had something to do with it.” James was still frowning, and Lily sighed. “James, that was all. He was there for less than five minutes.” She still had her hand on his arm, and she could feel that he was still tense. “Now tell me what you would have told me if he hadn’t been there.”

“But he was there. He called you ‘Lily.’” James muttered, and Lily almost smiled simply because he was being contrary, because he was arguing. She almost let him stick to Bertram, but she wasn’t sure that Bertram wasn’t just around the corner listening in and she didn’t want him to think that he was causing a rift between her and James. Because he wasn’t. 

So, Lily didn’t comment and just waited for him to continue. He looked as though he was debating something for a moment, and she stayed quiet. Then he sighed and his hand went through his hair again. “I just came to ask you why you didn’t show up. But you already told me that you forgot.” 

“I did, I should have written it on my hand or something.” She didn’t know how she managed to forget about it. She’d told Mary about it. 

“I kept,” He shook his head, “I kept waiting for you to tell me that you wanted to postpone, because your sister is here and I figured that you’d want to have dinner with her. But then you sent them out, so I figured you were trying to keep your schedule open so you could keep our plans.” 

She’d hurt his feelings. Her hand fell to her side.

“I understand that we’ve only known each other for a week. That I’m not the only ball you’re juggling right now. I’ve seen how upset you get whenever Lord Rosier is mentioned, I know he came in today to see you. Your birthday is coming up and your coronation- I understand that I’m just one piece in this puzzle, but I thought that you wanted us to be friends, that you wanted us to get to know one another so that when we get married in three weeks, we’re not strangers.” 

“That is what I want.” She nodded. Three weeks, was it really that close already? “Of course, that’s what I want.”

“Is it?” He asked. She gripped her hands together near her chest. What was that supposed to mean. 

“Yes.” 

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. He normally held her hand when they were standing near each other. She hadn’t noticed until now that he’d done it every time, they’d been near one another. She only noticed it now, because he wasn’t doing it. 

“Alright,” He shrugged his shoulders and that somehow felt like the end of the conversation. And as much as Lily wanted to turn and run back to her room and hide in her bed, she knew that she would regret that the next time she saw him. 

“You’re still annoyed with me, so it’s not alright.” She crossed her arms over her chest now, mirroring him. 

“I’m not annoyed with you.”

“And now you’re lying to me.” 

“I’m not lying to you.” 

She frowned. “I messed up. I know that. I’m doing the best that I can and I’m sorry if that isn’t good enough.” She was getting annoyed now. She was mainly frustrated with herself, but it was so much easier to be frustrated with other people, and he was annoyed with her, even if he said he wasn’t. And pretending that he wasn’t was only frustrating her further. How was she supposed to fix things if he wasn’t going to talk to her. 

“Don’t do that,” He pushed his hair back and shook his head. 

“Don’t do what?” 

“Don’t try and make me feel bad for you. I know you’ve got a lot going on, I’ve already said that I know you’ve got a lot going on. I just feel like I’m the only one trying here.” He hadn’t meant to say that, he looked as though he regretted it immediately, but that was the heart of the matter, wasn’t it? 

And he was right.

She knew that, Mary had pretty much said as much the other day. Lily hadn’t been putting a lot of effort into getting to know James or forming any kind of relationship with him. She’d enjoy his company when he appeared, but that was it. She didn’t even let herself think too much about him when he wasn’t around because thinking about him when he wasn’t there made her get all nervous and panicky.

“You’re right.” Her shoulders dropped and his brow rose. He hadn’t been expecting her to agree with him. 

“What?” 

“You’re right. I haven’t been trying and then I forgot about our dinner and that is all very shitty of me. I’m sorry.” She shook her head, putting her fingers against her temples. “I’ve got absolutely no idea what I’m doing when it comes to you or this arranged marriage we’ve tentatively agreed to.” 

“There’s nothing tentative about it, I’ve agreed.” 

She blinked at him, “Still?” 

“Yes, still.” He nodded. 

“Even though you’re angry with me?” 

“I’m not angry with you, but I suppose if I was, even then.” 

“You’re much too nice to me.” 

“I don’t feel like I’ve been all that nice this evening.” 

“I had to goad you into being truthful. And being truthful isn’t mean unless you’re being spiteful.” Lily huffed and stretched her neck from one side to the other. “I’m going to have to make this up to you.” 

“You are.” He agreed, and Lily looked up at him, surprised to see that he was almost smiling. 

“Don’t smirk at me.” She felt relieved to see his smile though.

“I’m not smirking.” 

“Now you’re lying again.” 

“I never lie.” 

“Right.”

James tilted his head to the side. “We had a nice time last night, yes? That wasn’t all in my head? It wasn’t just the champagne?” 

Lily bit down on the tip of her tongue and then shook her head. “No, it wasn’t the champagne. Last night was a lot of fun. You made it quite wonderful.” 

“So then how did you forget about our date?” 

Lily’s pulse went up at the word, ‘date’ which probably would have been a sufficient answer. But he couldn’t feel her pulse, so she had to use words. “You make me very nervous whenever I’m not actually around you.” 

James nodded, but then he realized that he didn’t understand what she’d said and leaned forward. “What?” 

Lily smiled and then shook her head. “Whenever I’m not standing in front of you, you make me nervous. The thought of going on outings with you and announcing that you’re my fiancé and then actually marrying you at the end of the month… that’s all very terrifying and nerve wracking. And so I try not to think about it.” 

“About me.” 

“It sounds worse when you say it like that though.” She covered her face for a moment and then looked up at him. 

“Well what about now?” He asked quietly. “When you are standing in front of me…”

“Well right now none of that seems so scary. Because right now it’s just you and me. Right now, in this moment, no one else is involved.” 

“I keep forgetting that you’ve never done any of this before.” 

“You’ve never been a part of an arranged marriage either.” 

“I know, but you grew up in a small English town. You weren’t part of this world until you were nearly an adult. I don’t know how I keep forgetting that.” 

“Yes, I have a handicap when it comes to the press.” Lily nodded. “I’ve been trying to get more comfortable in the spotlight, but I can’t stop thinking about all of it and then it drives me up the wall.” 

“I wasn’t talking about the press. Not entirely. Just the idea of an arranged marriage is new to you.” 

“Oh, yes. It was introduced to me three days before you were.” 

“Right,” He sighed. 

“Right.” She nodded. “I’m still adjusting.”

“And I’ve had my entire life.” 

“I still shouldn’t have stood you up.” 

“No, you shouldn’t have.” He shrugged, “Just write it on your hand next time.” 

She smirked. “Do you have a pen?” 

“I think I do actually.” He patted his pocket and Lily held out her hand. “Though it’s too late for you to write it on your hand now.” He pulled it out, giving her a strange look. She took the pen and his hand and then started writing. “I don’t know how this is going to help you remember anything.” But she could hear the smile. 

She let him have his hand back and he inspected the string of numbers she written. “Well this is clearly supposed to be a phone number. Are those sevens or ones?” 

“What?” She looked, “I don’t have sloppy handwriting.” 

“This is atrocious, actually.” 

“It is not,” She argued. “Those are obviously ones.” 

“And is this a nine or a four?” 

“A nine, who writes fours like that?” 

He looked up at her. “Is this to the phone in your room then? You want me to call you the next time you forget to meet me?’ 

“I’m not going to forget again. And no, it’s my number. Please don’t call my room. That would mean that I’d have to get out of bed and hunt it down. The last time Mary called me on it, I threw it out the window.” She felt like that needed further explanation. “It was two in the morning and when I answered it, she just screamed. It scared me. I’m sure someone put it back in my room by now, but I’m not completely sure because I haven’t seen it since then.” 

He laughed and shook his head. She looked him over. His shoulders were less tense, his smile wasn’t forced, his jaw wasn’t clenched. She might have made some headway here. 

“Did you retaliate?” He asked. 

“Of course. I had her bed stripped and replaced everything with Justin Bieber blankets and the like. She threatened to burn the entire bed, so that didn’t really work out in my favor. She also slept in my bed until I had her bed put back the right way.” 

“We’re not a fan of Justin Bieber?” 

“He’s completely terrible, of course we’re not.” 

“Of course.” 

“Anyway, you’re allowed to be angry with me. Just for future reference.” She heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see Amelia rounding the corner carrying a tray of food. “I’m not perfect and you don’t need to act like everything is fine if it’s not. I’m good at fighting with people, I can take it.” 

“We’ve only known each other a week.” He countered. 

She understood that to a point, but she didn’t want him to fall into a routine that would end with him resenting her forever. If they had to get married lacking feelings, she didn’t want to set them up for that much failure right off the bat. They wouldn’t be able to be friends if they started resenting one another. 

“That’s not the point. Just be honest with me, especially when you’re upset with me.” She took a deep breath, letting some of the tension uncoil. 

“I can promise you honesty.” He looked down at his hand again. “And I can honestly say that you have terrible handwriting.” 

Lily scoffed. “It’s better than Mary’s.”

“Then you both have terrible handwriting.” 

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed. 

“Alright, I should let you go and eat then.” 

Lily looked back at her door, her stomach growling at the mention of food. “You could come with me if you want. I was going to watch Killing Eve while I pretended to go over some guest lists.” He reached up and scratched the back of his head, looking off to the side. “We don’t have to do that of course. The stars are out tonight, we could eat on the balcony.” She felt like she was trying too hard now, over correcting a bit.

“I already ate,” He said, turning his gaze back to her. 

“Are you still upset then?”

He shrugged and then shook his head. “No. But I don’t want to let you off the hook too easy here. I expect you to make this up to me properly.” 

Lily crossed her arms and jutted her hip out. “And I can’t promise to do that and still invite you in my room to watch one of the greatest shows of all time?” 

“I don’t think so.” His voice was light though, so she wasn’t worried. “I was promised adequate peach pie. And I’ll make you a list of the greatest shows. I’ve never even heard of Killing Eve.” 

Lily let her mouth fall open in mock horror. “I can’t believe you would say such a thing. And are you sure you still want me to bake you a peach pie? You’ve grown up here. You’ve had the best peach desserts the world has to offer. Mine will taste like shit in comparison.” 

“Well then I won’t compare them.” He reached out and squeezed her hand for a moment. “Goodnight, Lily.” 

She would have been glad to have him stay while she ate, but she was sort of relieved that he didn’t want to. Perhaps it was the guilt, perhaps it was because she had been banking on some time alone this evening. 

She squeezed his hand back and then stepped forward so she could hug him. “Remember, those are ones and nines.” She said with her chin on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her as well.

“I’m probably going to end up chatting with someone from Whales.”

“Ha ha,” She deadpanned. “You’re so terribly funny.” She stepped back and he winked at her. “I’ll see you in the morning, James.” 

[unknown] I’m not even kidding when I tell you that I texted some random person first. 

[unknown] I thought your three was an eight

Lily Evans: I thought we talked about this

Lily Evans: No more lying.

James Potter: [screenshot]

Lily Evans: Did you do that just so you could make fun of my handwriting some more?

James Potter: No, this was just a happy coincidence. I even checked with Remus before I sent a message asking him if he thought I’d gotten the number right. 

Lily Evans: Oh good, so now he knows that I write like a chimp

James Potter: Yes. Him and Peter had a good laugh about it. 

Lily Evans: Sod off

James Potter: Nah

Lily Evans: Good, that’s probably for the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a bit of a ride, wasn't it?  
Let me know what you're thinking in the comments!


	11. Chapter 11

Lily was humming to herself as she walked to breakfast the next morning. Fridays meant field trips for the most part, and so she would be making her rounds through about a dozen schools with Anita to read books to the children and answer their questions.

Fridays were her favorite. 

She walked into the dining hall and was pleased to see that there didn’t seem to be any fires that needed dousing. She was able to take her seat between her Gran and James, which somehow felt normal even though James had recently taken Mary’s seat. 

“Good morning, everyone,” She smiled at the lot of them before reaching for a bowl of sliced oranges. 

“Morning, Lily.” Anita folded her paper in half and set it aside. “Are you ready for our trip today? We’ll be heading out to some of the more rural schools.”

“I’m always ready to go and play with children.” 

“I’ll be coming with you today,” Emma said, she was sitting at the other head of the table, further away from everyone, buried beneath a mountain of electronics and papers. “I’ll be taking pictures of course, but I’ll be discreet.”

“Yes, that’s fine.” Lily nodded, even though she knew that Emma wasn’t asking for her permission. “Have you gone through my email yet?” 

“Yes, I’ve made a list for you to go over, but that can wait until we get back this afternoon. I’ve already responded to anything that was time sensitive.” 

“Thank you, Emma.” And then she reached for some peaches.

She looked over at James’ friends, who were uncharacteristically quiet. They all looked as though they hadn’t slept much yet. 

“They went out last night.” James whispered. “They only got in two hours ago and I didn’t let them go to bed and miss breakfast.” 

“Oh good,” Lily nodded. “So I stood you up and kept you from going out with your friends.” 

James laughed and shook his head. “No, they left after I got back to my room last night. I told them I wasn’t going to go out and make a fool of myself for reporters.” 

“Did they make fools of themselves?” 

“Yes, but only at their own expense.” James shrugged and reached for his teacup. 

She looked at Mary, who looked almost as bad as the blokes did. “Why didn’t you sleep last night?” 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Mary turned and glared at Sirius. “Someone gave that arsehole down there the phone number to my room and he called me every thirty minutes.” 

“The way to a girl’s heart is persistence.” Sirius lifted his head and winked at Mary. She rolled her eyes. 

“Gran, tell him that I’m spoken for.” 

“I don’t think you’d ever let Reginald speak for you.” 

“That’s not the point,” Mary let her head drop to the table in despair. Lily snorted into her water.

“I’m not even sure this Reginald character is real.” Sirius argued. “And if he is, he’s a blighter. Because he’s not here and his name is Reginald.” 

“You can’t hold his name against him,” Mary sighed. “His mum named him, he’s just stuck with it.” 

“He’s still not here.” 

“He’s in school, you git.” Mary sighed. “I’m in school too, but I took this semester off so I can keep Lily from ripping her eyebrows off.” Lily scoffed. 

“I did that once when I was seven! Stop bringing it up!”

“Never,” Mary smirked at her and then went back to her oatmeal. 

Lily huffed and turned to James. He was looking across the table with affection and amusement. Lily wondered just how many mornings he’d had like this with his mates.

She bumped her elbow against his, and then he had a bright smile just for her. “Will you be joining my gran and me today?” 

James cleared his throat and set down his teacup. “Oh, I’m not sure.” He looked toward Anita and then Emma. 

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I meant, would you like to join us?” 

He blinked at her, because it was an entirely different question of course.

“It would be good for the people to see you like that,” Emma said, looking up. “Working alongside the princess, encouraging literacy, valuing education, all that good stuff. Not that people don’t already love you, but it’ll make the transition easier.” 

Lily almost rolled her eyes. That hadn’t been why she was asking him. “Also it’s just really fun.” 

“Good morning,” This was Vernon. Everyone turned to see him and Petunia walking in with Dudley. Petunia was holding him again and Lily wondered if he’d ever held his son. Perhaps this was unfair of her, since she’d only ever seen Vernon and Dudley together a handful of times, but she still thought it anyway.

“I’m so sorry that we’re late, but Dudley needed a bath when he woke up.” She didn’t explain why he needed a bath, but her face was red, and Lily guessed it was because of poop. 

Lily stood up and walked toward her sister and nephew, “Oh look at how his hair loops on his forehead,” She reached over and patted the top of his head. “Aren’t you just perfect,” He smiled widely at her and grabbed her hand. 

“I’m glad he likes you,” Petunia smiled at him. “I tried to get him to wave to our neighbor the other day when we were getting the mail, and he started screaming when she got near us.” 

“He knows I’m family,” Lily grinned, enjoying the fact that he liked her when he was normally picky. 

“Hardly,” Vernon had taken a seat next to James and his whisper landed harshly in his coffee cup. Petunia’s eyes widened as she looked at her husband, but Lily just pretended she couldn’t hear it. 

“So, you three will be going to the zoo today?” Lily asked, walking back to her seat. “That will be fun.” 

“Yes, he loved it so much last time.” Petunia sat next to Vernon, keeping Dudley on her lap.

“Emma, go and find a highchair for, Dudley.” Anita said, and she was smiling at the boy too. 

“Yes, ma’am.” Emma immediately put down her phone and jumped to her feet. 

“And what are you so busy with today?” Vernon asked. 

Lily bit her tongue before answering. “On Fridays we tend to tour through schools. We’ll be going to rural schools today to read books in the classrooms and see what the kids have been working on.” 

“Sounds like very important work.” Vernon chuckled, piling eggs and sausage onto his plate. 

“The education of children is very important.” Lily nodded. Then she turned back to James. “So? Will you come?” 

“Yes, of course.” He nodded, angling away from Vernon. He raised his brows slightly and Lily grinned and had to look away to keep from laughing. The peace between her and her sister was tentative and new, and she didn’t want to ruin it so early in the morning. 

“Perfect.” She picked up her water and took a long sip. “Are you lot going to get some sleep at some point?” She looked at the other side of the table. Emma walked back into the room and put a highchair on top of the chair next to Petunia before quickly taking her seat again and disappearing behind her laptop. 

“God willing,” Remus muttered, rubbing his palms over his eyes. “I’m too old for this.” 

“You’re twenty-four years old, Remus. Calm down.” Sirius looked as though he felt too old as well. 

“You know what you’re too old for,” Mary glared at Sirius. “Prank calling someone at all hours of the night.” 

“I like you, and I just want you to know that you have options.” 

“I like my current option. Besides, if I was going to leave Reggie for anyone, it would be Lily, not you.” She winked at Lily and then blew her a kiss. Lily pretended to catch the kiss and then stuck it on her cheek. 

“I think the level or ridiculous that this breakfast has achieved is about all I can handle. I hope everyone has a brilliant day,” She stood up, “Emma, is the car out front?” 

“Yes, it’s ready when you are. As am I.” She peered over the top of her computer. 

“I’m going to go pick out some books and then I’ll be ready.” She put a hand on James’ shoulder. “I’ll meet you out front.” 

“I think I’ll stay here today,” Anita picked up her paper again and looked over the front page. Lily narrowed her eyes slightly. 

“Oh?” 

“Yes, there is no sense in all of us going.”

“No sense in it, yes. Of course.” Lily nodded. She looked over at Dudley, “You have so much fun at the zoo, little one. I’ll see you later.” 

“Say bye-bye, Aunt Lily!” Petunia waved his little arm for him and Dudley laughed. 

“Adorable,” Lily grinned. 

“It was nice of you to invite me.” James said after the two of them were buckled into their seats. Emma was seated in front of them, completely oblivious behind her phone. Lily wasn’t sure what she did on it all day, but it had to be important, because Emma made her, and Anita’s schedules run smoothly and that was a task. 

“Yes, I’m very nice.” Lily agreed, smiling over at him. 

“A bit of an arse at times, too.” 

“Oh yes,” Lily nodded and then laughed. 

“I was being genuine.” 

“I know, and I’m glad that you think I was being nice.”

“This doesn’t count as you making it up to me though.” Lily saw Emma freeze, her eyes peered up over the top of her phone. So she wasn’t _completely _oblivious.

“Should I go sit up front with Moody?” She asked. 

And then Lily was blushing. “Why would you do that? Moody is going to listen to CSPAN the entire way there.” 

“Right,” She looked between the two of them and then smiled. “Well then just pretend that I’m not here.” 

Lily wanted to say that they had been pretending that until she’d started talking, but she didn’t think that her and Emma were there in their friendship yet. She wasn’t even sure Emma _liked_ her all that much. She was a hard person to read at times. 

She looked back at James, who was smiling at her, looking too smug. “What?” 

“She thinks you’re a flirt.” 

“No, she thinks _you’re _a flirt.”

“I am.” He nodded, and then his hand was in his hair and Mary’s stupid voice ran through her head and she looked out the window in an attempt to hide her blush from him. It must not have been so effective, because he laughed and then reached for her hand. Emma peeped at them again and Lily stayed facing the window. 

“So the children are going to ask you questions.” Emma started, putting her phone down on her lap. “And I think it would be a good idea to work out answers to some of those questions now.” 

Lily didn’t like how that sounded. It seemed like a good idea, but the tone that Emma was using was making Lily nervous. “Okay. What kinds of questions do you think they’re going to ask?” 

“They’re going to ask you if James is your boyfriend.” 

“Well that seems like an easy question.” James’ thumb started running up and down along the back of her hand and she looked away from the window to glance down at their hands. 

“Yes, Lily just seems blushy.” 

“Well if she blushes when they ask, that isn’t a bad thing.” 

“I suppose not. But I didn't want the question sprung on her.” 

“No, but once again, you don’t mind talking like I’m not sitting right here.” 

“You can chime in at any time.” Emma grinned. “They’ll also want to know if you two are getting married, and even though the two of you are getting married, we haven’t made a public announcement yet, so just be vague and cute about it, if you can.” 

“That makes sense.” James nodded, Lily was still looking at their hands. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked him to come. She’d forgotten about all the extra little stuff she would have to deal with in bringing him. No one would be asking her blush worthy questions if she’d gone with her grandmother. 

“Most of their questions will be harmless; they’ll want to know your favorite book, where you went to school, if you had a favorite subject. I’m sure they’ll be questions about sports-”

“Emma, I’ve done this before.” 

“Yes,” She nodded slowly. “But James hasn’t, so I’m briefing him.” 

Lily took a deep breath and then nodded. “Right, sorry.” James was still running his thumb over her hand. Why was he doing that? 

“Next month, I’ll be working for you too, James.” She reminded both of them. “Officially anyway.”

“Yes, thank you, Emma.” James nodded and then pushed his glasses up his nose and turned to look at Lily, though she opted to keep her gaze down. “Getting nervous?” 

Emma laughed quietly. “I’ve always been good at making Lily nervous.” She picked up her phone again. “Not that I’m doing it on purpose, of course.”

“Of course not.” Lily clicked her tongue. Perhaps she should have given Emma a hard time earlier. 

“Also, we were thinking that we could have the engagement take place sometime at the beginning of next week.” She looked up and Lily’s gaze snapped to hers. 

“It sort of seems like you’re doing it on purpose.” James squeezed her hand and she almost pulled it away. 

“Well I have the two of you here, I might as well take advantage of it. We’re trying to spread everything out as much as we can, but we only have a month to work with. And with Lily’s birthday and the coronation to plan as well, it’s all going to feel rather cramped at the end of the month regardless.”

Lily sat up a bit straighter. “How are plans for my birthday coming? Did you invite Marlene and Dorcas? Are they coming?” 

“Yes, yes, everyone is coming. No one has canceled, everything is going perfectly. Anita has a surprise for you as well.” 

“Of course she does, it’s my birthday.” 

“No, no, not a gift. A surprise for the party. She’s very excited about it.” 

“What do you mean? Like a performer or something?” 

“No.” Emma was grinning with her lips pursed. She wasn’t going to say anything more. 

“Well thank you for the information, Emma.” 

“You’re welcome, Lily.” 

They arrived at the first school without further incident. They entered the classroom full of excited faces, Lily read them a book from the stack that she’d brought with her, they asked questions, and Emma had been right, there were a lot of children curious about her and James. She smiled and pretended to whisper so they felt like she was sharing secrets with them. She managed to refrain from blushing for the most part and James was seated by her side, letting her run the show, the entire time. 

After the questions had slowed, the teacher stepped forward and suggested that the class show them what they’d been working on. The room got louder, and a little girl reached out and pulled on Lily’s hand. “Come and see my project!” She said, and Lily laughed as she followed her. 

It went on like this for a while. Lily fawning over one science or english project to the next, allowing the children to pull her about the room in their excitement. She would pass James every now and then, and it looked as though he was getting the same treatment from the class. 

And her eyes kept going back to him. He was so good with the children, so patient and smiley and it was fun to watch. He asked them questions about their projects, he laughed at their jokes and looked as though he were intense thought whenever they were explaining something to him. 

And while all of this was going on, Lily pretended that Emma didn’t have a camera trained on them. 

At the next school, Lily told James he could read the book, and so they started taking turns back and forth. By the third school, he no longer sat quietly next to her when the children started asking them questions, but he jumped in with answers of his own. 

It was at the sixth and final school of the afternoon, that one little girl had something that she wanted to share. “My mum said that you shouldn’t get to be queen because you’re not from here. She says that we don’t need outsiders coming in and telling us how to live our lives.” 

Lily was a bit surprised by this, because this was the first time she’d gotten a comment like this from a child, but she took it in stride, because this little girl was a child and even if she was trying to be spiteful, it was because she was mimicking others behaviors, not because she actually meant any harm. It was a challenge to change lanes so quickly though. The previous question had been about her favorite ice cream.

“Your mum and I have different opinions,” Lily started. “Do you know what that means?” 

Another child shot their hand into the air. “It means that you both think different things.” 

“Yes,” Lily nodded. “Everyone has different opinions, it’s how we come up with such good ideas, because everyone thinks differently.” She looked back at the little girl. “For example, you might like a different color than your best friend, or a different biscuit.”

“I like chocolate, but Anna likes the mint ones.” 

“Yes, well it would be awful and boring if everyone thought the same. It’s okay to think differently than someone else, so long as you don’t let it make you say mean things that can hurt people’s feelings. It’s important to listen to one another, to give people the chance to change our minds where we might be wrong. I love our country, and I love getting to talk to you, it’s citizens. I know that I haven’t lived here for all that long, only as long as you lot,” She grinned, and the children laughed. “I am very excited to spend the rest of my life here though, working hard to make this the very best place on earth.” 

“I think Disney World is the best place on earth,” A little boy in the front said, his brow furrowed in confusion. The class laughed again, and Lily reached out and ruffled his hair.

She saw Emma give her a thumbs up and so she went to call on someone else. 

When they were back in the car James started laughing. “How was that the hardest question of the day? And how did you handle it so well?” He shook his head. “I mean, I know that she was just repeating what she’d heard, or maybe her mum told her that this morning because she knew that you’d be coming to visit, but still.” 

“I’m surprised that we haven’t had more questions like that,” Lily took in a deep breath through her nose and then let it out. “It was still fun though, and she didn’t seem to hate me after I answered her question.” 

“Yeah, she dragged you around the room same as everyone else.” James laughed again. “So how are you going to turn Gryffindor into Disney World?”

Lily laughed as well and then noticed that Emma wasn’t seated across from them and the car was moving. She looked toward the front of the car. She must have opted to sit with Moody. She wanted to believe that it was because she had something to discuss with the head of security, but she knew that it wasn’t. 

James didn’t say anything about her absence, but she could tell that he had noticed it same as she had. Her absence was such a heavy insinuation to Lily that she felt her cheeks start to heat up and her heart climbed into her throat. 

“So, what now?” He asked. 

“What?” Her voice was too squeaky, and the insinuation leaked out of her head and into the rest of the car. James cleared his throat. 

“What’s next on our schedule?” And his voice didn’t sound at all strange. Lily wanted to kick herself. She took a moment, so that when she did speak, her voice would sound normal again. 

“Well, we’ll go back to the castle now. You can make sure your friends aren’t dead and I’ll spend time with my sister and hopefully not Vernon.” 

“I could offer to take him golfing.” James said, and Lily almost got whiplash she turned so quickly. 

“No.” She shook her head. “No, of course I can’t ask you to do that. James, he’s dreadful.” 

“Yes,” James chuckled, running his hand through his hair. “But you don’t seem to get along with Petunia if he’s around and she feels like she needs to be on his side. I’ll get Peter to come with me. He’s very good at getting along with anyone. He can mitigate for me.” 

Lily blinked up at him. “You’re putting me further in the red here.” 

“What do you mean?” He asked, his eyes still smiling. 

“I don’t know that I could think of a way to make that up to you. And I’ve already got to make up last night…” She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the seat. 

“You shouldn’t be thinking of it like that.” She felt James lean against the seat as well. “I mean, right now there are more opportunities for me to help you.” 

“Yes, but if you keep helping me like this, then you’re going to resent me at some point.” 

James huffed, and Lily thought it sounded like a breathy laugh, but she wasn’t looking at him so she couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t just wishful thinking. She really hoped he wasn’t about to tell her that he already resent her anyway. “You’re quite dramatic sometimes.” 

She turned her head and let her eyes open. His face wasn’t nearly as far as she’d been expecting. It wasn’t too close, she supposed, about six inches away. Definitely the closest his face had been to hers. “Do you want a list? Or do you like finding these things out more spaced out?” He laughed now. “I’m argumentative, I’m very competitive, I’m dramatic, I can’t drink without turning into a giggly mess… am I missing anything?” 

“I’ve noticed a few more,” He looked over her face and she did her best to keep her gaze on his eyes. They weren’t brown like she’d originally thought. His profile had said hazel, but she’d always just thought hazel eyes were light brown. James’ weren’t just light brown though. They were almost gold, with streaks of green and turquoise, flashes of dark brown in the shape of a star around his pupil. They were lovely. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You have a horrible memory-”

“Yes, I should have remembered that one.” He laughed and she realized she’d made a joke. She hadn’t meant to though, she was still thinking about how his eyes fit all those colors in them. She’d looked them over when she had been tipsy the night of the State Dinner, but she didn’t remember them looking like this. 

“You’re quite clumsy.” 

“That one I try and forget.” 

“You have endless patience for children.” 

“They’re children, they deserve patience.” 

“You get stuck in your head.” 

“Much too often.” She agreed. 

“You have a switch too, I think. As soon as you’re alone, you stop acting how you think a princess should act and you start swearing and cracking jokes.” He smiled and she laughed, turning her head so she was looking in front of her. 

“Mary and I used to work at an ice cream parlor the summer before I found out about all this.” She waved her hand around. “And we’d worked there for about a month when we realized that we had what we called, ‘a customer voice.’ Everyone who worked there had one, and it wasn’t even something that you did on purpose. But whenever you went up to talk to a customer, your voice would get more pleasant, you’d talk a bit slower and a smile lit up your face.” She looked back at him. “Mary says that that’s the voice I use when I talk to the press or the people. It’s my ‘customer voice.’” 

“Your customer voice,” James laughed. “I’ve noticed the change in your voice. You make a lovely customer service representative.” 

“Why thank you,” Lily grinned, still doing her best to keep her gaze on his eyes. He was making no such effort though and she watched as his eyes looked a bit further down her face. And then she looked away before they could get stuck on her lips. Why had Emma decided to sit in the front? 

“But it’s not just your voice that changes. It’s everything. The way you walk, the way you smile, the words you choose.” 

“Yes, I do try not to say ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’ in front of the primary school kids.” Why didn’t this feel like a normal conversation? Why couldn’t she just look at him without wondering if he was thinking about doing more than talking? Was this entirely Emma’s fault? Or was he actually thinking about kissing her? 

This was probably Mary’s fault.

He couldn’t be. Not after how horribly she’d messed things up last night. And they’d only known each other for a week anyway. And even if he was playing it all cool, he couldn’t be oblivious or ambivalent about the pressure that was on the two of them. They were getting married at the end of the month whether or not they had feelings for one another, and Lily wasn’t sure if she wanted to know before then. Because what if she looked in that box and found that she _didn’t _have feelings for James? Then she’d have to marry someone that she knew she didn’t have feelings for. 

And would she? Could she do that?

“You look like you just started panicking.” James leaned forward, trying to get a better look at her face. She leaned closer to the window.

She would do it. Even if she knew that she would never love him, she would marry him for the sake of her country and its people. She knew that she could do good here, and even if it meant giving up the chance at finding love, she would do what she could. 

“You’ve already pointed out that I’m in my head too much.” Lily sounded short of breath and she covered her face with her hands and rested her elbows on her knees. Of course right now she didn’t know that she’d never fall in love with him. Right now, they were in a sort of limbo. Perhaps if they could stay in the limbo for as long as they could, that would be best. 

“Was it something I said?” He asked, and Lily figured his hand was probably in his hair at this point. She was never not going to hear Mary whenever she saw him playing with his hair now. And that didn’t exactly help her rapidly increasing heart rate. 

“No,” She shook her head. “No, no, this isn’t your fault. Mary says that I’m not dealing with things. Don’t tell her that she’s right.” 

“Lily, you’re very pale.” 

“I’m always pale, I’m fine.” 

“Do you need some water?” 

“Can you just pretend you can’t see me for a minute? I might start crying if you keep trying to fix things.” 

“Pretend I can’t-” She peeked to find his eyes wide and his brow inching further up his forehead. “Alright.” 

“Thank you,” And then she folded herself onto her lap and closed her eyes. 

After a few minutes riding in silence and deep breathing, Lily sat back up right and pushed her hair away from her face. “Alright, I’m fine.” 

“I’m not sure you are.” James had his arms crossed over his chest now. He did not look like he enjoyed doing nothing just then. “Perhaps we should talk about whatever it is that made you have an anxiety attack.” 

“I didn’t have an anxiety attack.” Lily scoffed. 

“I think you might have.” 

“I think I would know.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue. “And I don’t need to talk about it. I’m fine.” 

“Lily,” Her name sounded heavy just then, not like he usually said it. He was asking her for something and offering something at the same time. 

“James,” She turned to look at him. “You’ve known me for less than a week, alright? I’m fine.” 

This time when his eyes bounced around her face, she didn’t think he might be thinking about kissing her. “Alright then.”

“Alright, then.” She repeated and then crossed her own arms over her chest. Honestly, he was being pushy. If she said she was fine, then she was fine. 

The partition slid down and then Emma’s smiling face was taking the two of them in. She stopped herself from saying whatever she’d planned on saying and her smile disappeared. “No. You two kiss and make up now, we’re not stepping out of this car after a brilliant day of publicity, with frowns on our faces for the press to interpret as they wish.” 

When neither James nor Lily made a move to say anything, she snapped her fingers and pointed back and forth between the two of them. “I mean it! You were flirting all morning, let’s not pretend like we don’t like each other now.” 

“Emma, please shut up.” Lily snapped. Emma’s brow snapped back and then she sat back in her seat and slide the partition backup. 

“That was nice.” James said, shaking his head. 

“Well she wasn’t really helping anything.” Lily defended weakly. 

“No, it’s like you said. I don’t really know you.” 

“You don’t,” Lily held her hands out. 

“Not for a lack of trying,” He looked at her. “Yeah? But we’ve already established that that was one sided.” 

Her heart finally left her throat, only to fall down past her stomach. “Right,” She nodded once and then turned to look out the window. 

She tried to remind herself that this situation was of her own making as the castle came into view, but that didn’t stop a tear or two from sliding down her cheek. She was now in an Avril Lavigne music video.

He wasn’t wrong when he called her dramatic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I'm sorry I made them fight again, but also I'm not sorry. 
> 
> Don't forget to leave me a review and tell me what you think! 


	12. Chapter 12

Unfortunately, Lily was unable to run up to her room, slam the door and hide under her blankets when they arrived back at the castle. It was Friday, and so it was the members of parliament’s last chance to speak with Lily before the weekend. 

So she went to her office in a bad mood, and the only break she caught, was that Lord Rosier didn’t show up. Lord Malfoy did though, and that was almost as bad, but he didn’t insinuate that she was a whore which probably would have sent her over the edge.

She asked Amelia to have dinner waiting for her in her room so that she wouldn’t have to have dinner with James or anyone else. She felt slightly guilty for not having seen much of her sister that day, but she’d have tomorrow to spend with her. She doubted James would be in the mood to take Vernon out for golf now that she’d upset him so she’d probably have to hang out with Vernon tomorrow as well and that meant that her and Petunia’s truce would soon be over.

She finally trudged up to her room around seven, two hours after she had wanted to be headed up to her room. She hadn’t even made it off the first floor when she was accosted by Sirius Black. 

She took a moment to breath before she stepped into his trap. Which was exactly what this was of course. It was also the last thing she wanted to deal with after today. 

“Princess,” 

“Good sir,” She nodded and then tried to walk up the stairs, just to see if this was the sort of trap she could avoid by walking through it quickly. She was not so lucky.

“Not so fast,” 

“This is my normal speed, actually.” But she stopped on the second step and turned back around. “What can I do for you?” 

“What’s your game?” 

“Probably wii bowling or Mario Cart. I’ve never been bested in either.”

Sirius’ brow puckered and her shook his head. “Cute. But I’m not talking about video games.” 

“Well then you should have specified. I’m an adequate tennis player.” 

“Your game with James, Evans.” 

“Princess or Lily.” She corrected. “And James and I have only played one game, badminton. He’ll tell you that he won, but I still don’t think it was a fair game. I was distracted by a group of people suddenly shouting at me.” 

His arms were over his chest now. He walked over to the stairs and stepped up so that he was on the first step. “James is trying to pretend that he’s not upset right now. He was fine when I left him this morning- and somehow he was fine after you stood him up last night- but _now_ he’s just pretending. So what did you do to him?” 

“I didn’t do anything.” She shrugged. “We were having a nice time and then he got all…” She waved a hand. “Grumpy.” 

“Out of the blue.” It wasn’t a question, almost an accusation. 

“Yes.” She nodded. 

“Okay, and why is Bertram lurking about everywhere with pretentious books by racists old white men?” 

Lily let out a laugh. “I have no idea. Did you see that he had _Lolita _with him the other day? I know that book is praised in most literary-”

“I don’t actually want to make fun of the books he’s reading with you.” 

“I know.” 

“You do?” 

“Yes. I know that you don’t like me.”

Sirius shook his head. “No, it’s not that I don’t like you.” 

“Really? Because you’ve been acting like you don’t-”

“I don’t trust you with my best friend.” 

Lily blinked at him, and then opened her mouth, ready to argue. Except what was she going to say to that? If someone had treated Mary as she’d treated James, or appeared to treat James, then she wouldn’t be too thrilled with them either. 

She could tell Sirius that she was trying, but she wasn’t sure that that was the truth yet. 

“That’s fair,” She ended up saying, looking down at her shoes and then over Sirius’s shoulder. 

“No, it’s not.” He countered. “I know that this is new to you, the idea of an arranged marriage and all that, James keeps reminding me that it’s new to you, but I don’t give a shit. Something can be new to you and you can treat him with the respect and consideration that he deserves.” 

She was fairly sure that she was going to cry again. She bit her tongue to keep the tears in until after her was gone. 

“You’re right.” She nodded. “I could have handled a lot of things differently.” 

“Stop doing that,” He scoffed, spinning away and stepping down from the stairs. 

“Doing what?”

“Agreeing with me about everything.” He turned back to look at her and he looked even more upset with her than before.

Lily shook her head. “Well I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong!” 

“Well than that means that you know what you’re doing and you’re doing it anyway!” 

“I-” Lily huffed and almost stomped her foot. “I know that I need to do better.” She said. “I know that I’ve not been nice all the time, I know! But whenever anyone suggests that James and I are in a real relationship I get so frustrated, because you all know that we’re not! We’re getting married because I have to-”

“No, you don’t.” He interrupted. “You don’t _have_ to do this.” 

“Yes, I do.” She argued, shaking her head. “I don’t expect you to understand, but my family has worked hard to improve this country for generations, and I can’t toss that aside because I feel like I’m getting shortchanged over this one thing. I have to put the needs of the community before my own, and I can and I will, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not grieving over the fact that I’ll never again get to go on a first date, that I don’t get to fall in love!”

He stayed quiet and she’d been keeping all of this in so long that she started rambling more.

She took a deep breath and then laughed derisively. “I kept putting off dating when I was in school. I had too much work to do, it was too much of a hassle to try and sneak around for some privacy. I kept telling myself that once I was settled in the castle, then I could focus more of my energy… but it doesn’t matter. I’ve chosen a different path, I just need you to understand that I’ve completely changed the course of the rest of my life. And I made that decision seven days ago. So, I’m not handling it well! I could be doing better and I’m going to do better, it’s just not easy.” 

“Boo hoo,” Sirius deadpanned, and Lily laughed again, shaking her head. 

“What do you want me to say?” 

Sirius rolled his eyes, “James wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s known that at some point someone was going to pick up his card and he’d have to go wherever his future bride was. And his parents are thrilled that it was you, that they get to tie their family name to the throne, but if I call them and tell them that this is going to end poorly for James, they will have their lawyers out here faster than you can snap your fingers.” It seemed like an empty threat. 

“I’ve already told him that he can back out at any time.” 

Now it was his turn to blink. “What?” 

“Are you kidding me? If he doesn’t want to be here anymore, then he should go home. I don’t want to force anyone to do something that they don’t want to do. That’d be a little hypocritical of me, don’t you think?” 

“That fucking git,” 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Sirius shook his head. “Just be nice to him yeah? He’s a git, and I give him hell all the time, but you have to be nice to him. He’s my family and I won’t stand for you treating him poorly just because you’re having an off day.” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “I wasn’t mean to him today, we were having a great day.” 

“Oh? Then why’s he in such a pissy mood?” Lily couldn’t really picture James in a pissy mood. Maybe he was just crouched over with his arms crossed like he had been in the back of the car. 

“I don’t know!” Lily waved one of her hands. “He was fine one minute and then he was upset about something.” He looked skeptically at her. “Oh go and talk to him if you want to know what happened. It’s almost eight o’clock and I haven’t had supper yet. And I’m still wearing heels.” She turned and started walking up the stairs. “Goodnight, Sirius.” 

“You had to have done something,” He called after her.

Lily rolled her eyes and continued up the stairs.

It was much later, and she was in bed, staring at her phone. Almost twenty minutes ago, three little dots had appeared on her and James’ messages and then they went away, and Lily had spent the last twenty minutes trying to decide if she wanted to say something first since he’d decided that he didn’t. 

The problem was, she really didn’t know why he’d gotten upset this afternoon. Sure she had been short, but she didn’t want to talk about what was bothering her, that wasn’t a reason for someone to get upset. 

She started chewing on her lip. She didn’t have to try and start a conversation though, did she? She could just say goodnight. That would let him know that she was thinking about him, which she’d admitted the night before that she hadn’t been doing earlier in the week. 

Her lip was starting to hurt, and she was going on staring at her screen for thirty minutes now. What the hell was wrong with her. 

What would he even think if she texted him now? After how things went down earlier? At this time of night? Did she really want him thinking that she’d been stuck on this for the entire evening?

She turned off her phone and shoved it under her pillow and then laid down, pulling her blankets up to her ears. 

She sat there for a few minutes, staring at the dark wall across from her bed. 

“Fuck it,” She sat back up and pulled out her phone. 

Lily Evans: Goodnight James

And then she quickly threw her phone to the end of her bed and laid back down. 

What if he answered? 

What if he didn’t?

She didn’t want to know. 

He hadn’t answered when she checked her phone at six o’clock the next morning. Her maids were surprised to see that she was awake before they arrived, and she was feeling stupid for spending so much time thinking about something that he hadn’t even bothered to respond to. 

And she couldn’t even tell herself that perhaps he’d gone to bed before she sent it and just hadn’t seen it, because he’d read it only on a few minutes after she’d sent it and then, apparently, he just chose not to respond. 

And now she was fretting over it, like she was a teenage girl in secondary having regular boy problems. It almost made her laugh. 

Only she wasn’t a teenage girl in secondary, she was a twenty-year-old woman trying to navigate a relationship with the man she’d met this week, that she was going to marry at the end of the month. 

“The queen arranged for breakfast in the sunroom this morning.” Amelia said, turning down Lily’s bed as she wandered over to her closet and started absently looking through her clothes. 

“Perhaps a cap sleeve dress today?” Gwen asked, walking into the closet with her and pulling out a green dress that Lily didn’t think she’d worn before. It wasn’t as dressy as her normal clothes, but it was Saturday, which meant that technically she wasn’t working today.

“Yes, that’s fine.” Lily took the dress and walked to the bathroom to change. 

“That color really brings out your eyes.” Amelia nodded her approval as Lily walked past her a few moments later.

“Thank you,” 

She changed quickly and pulled half of her hair up. She thought she looked girly and cute when she was done. Parliament members didn’t respond well to girly and cute, so she never got to dress like this. Though she didn’t know why she tried to dress to please them, they didn’t respond well to anything she did. 

She put on the locket that her father had left her for her sixteenth birthday, and then walked back to her bed to retrieve her phone. Her dress even had a pocket she could keep her phone in. 

“Oh you look so nice, ma’am.” Gwen grinned, putting a hand over her heart. 

“Yes, you’re a vision.” Amelia agreed. 

“You two are acting funny. What’s going on?” 

They looked at one another, mimicking faces of the utmost innocence. “Nothing,” Gwen shrugged. “Why would you think something was going on?”

“You don’t normally comment on what I wear. Or help me pick out my clothes.” 

“You just look extra nice today, that’s all.” Amelia turned around and started making the bed. Gwen disappeared saying something about laundry. 

“Well alright then,” Lily huffed and then walked over to her door. 

She spent the entire walk down to the dining hall, wary that something was going to jump out at her. They had been acting strangely and she didn’t know what it meant.

“Breakfast is in the sunroom today, ma’am.” A kitchen hand reminded her when she made it to the dining hall. 

“Yes, sorry,” She left the room, unsure of what she was apologizing for. 

“Oh, good morning,” She turned and saw Bertram walking up the hallway. 

“Morning.” She nodded. “Are you headed out to breakfast?” 

“Oh,” He shook his head. “No. I think it’s best that I don’t try and mingle with your intended’s friends.” 

“Right. I keep forgetting about your feud with Sirius. You know, you could just be the bigger person and refuse to sink to his level.” 

“I appreciate that you know that he’s not the one sinking to my level.” He grinned. She didn’t correct him by telling him that she thought they were both being children about the whole thing. “And I’ve tried to extend an olive branch before. It’s best to just keep my distance for now.” 

“Well, I don’t think it’s fair that you’ve been taking all your meals alone.” 

He smiled at her. “Then perhaps you and I could share another meal together. Just the two of us.” 

She took a deep breath and then offered him a small smile. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea, Bertram.” 

“And why not? We’re friends, are we not?” 

“We are.” She nodded. 

“Then what harm would come from you and I having lunch together.” 

“There shouldn’t be any harm in it,” She nodded. “But I still don’t think it’s a great idea.” 

He cleared his throat and looked down. “I understand.” He might as well have been a kicked dog for the look he was wearing. 

“Oh come now, Bertram. You understand.” 

“I do, yes.” He nodded. “I’m not sure that I would trust me if I were in your position either.” 

Lily blanched. “It has nothing to do with trust,” She said quickly. 

“No?” He raised a brow. “Because I feel like you would have said ‘yes’ before I told you that it was my uncle who had the story about us printed.” 

“Bertram, that wasn’t a problem. Hardly anyone paid attention to that story.” 

He pressed his lips together and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Right. So what is it?” 

“Lily!” 

They both looked up to find Mary walking toward them from the other end of the hall. 

“I was worried that you’d find the hall empty and then opt to have breakfast by yourself.” She reached the two of them and took Lily’s hand, spinning her around. “Don’t you look bloody gorgeous today.” 

“Yes, Amelia and Gwen seemed like they wanted me to look extra nice today. Though they wouldn’t tell me why.” 

“Amy and Gwen dressed you?” 

“I don’t think she likes being called ‘Amy’.” 

“I haven’t seen that dress before.” 

Lily looked over to Bertram with a tight smile. “Sorry, Bertram, we can talk later. I have to get to breakfast.” 

He nodded and stepped back. “Far be it from me to keep you from your family.” 

The girls started walking away, Mary’s arm linked through Lily’s. “I heard you trying to turn him down politely.” She said quietly. 

“Thank you, darling.” 

“Anytime, my love.” 

Everyone was already seated when they joined the table. James was sitting next to Sirius though. And so Mary sat next to Lily instead of across from her. She wondered if Mary had guessed that something was wrong, if that was why she’d given up her seat next to Anita. 

“Good morning, pet.” Anita grinned as Lily leaned down to kiss her cheek. 

“Good morning, everyone.” She looked around the table, trying to skate past James, but she came back to him as she sat down. Then she started thinking about the stupid texting situation. 

“Morning, Princess.” Remus grinned at her, picking up a glass of orange juice. 

“Morning, Lily,” Petunia grinned. Lily turned to see Dudley gnawing on half a banana. 

“Morning, Toon- Petunia.” She grinned back, shaking herself as she started serving her food. “Did you have a good time at the zoo?” She looked at Dudley as she asked, but she knew that he wasn’t going to answer her. He did give her a big, banana-y smile though. 

“Yes, he loved it.” Petunia laughed. “Didn’t he, Vernon?” 

“Oh yes,” Vernon was looking over a paper. “He’s a very bright young lad. It’s a shame that you couldn’t come with us.” He didn’t bother to look at her while he was speaking.

“It might have been nice.” Petunia agreed, and while she looked slightly apprehensive, she seemed much more sincere than Vernon.

“Well I would like to spend some time with you today, before you leave.” Lily smiled. “We could get some of those pictures that mum wanted.” 

Petunia grinned at her, “We did that after his nap yesterday.” She said. “I can show them to you though.” 

“I’d love to see them.” Lily nodded and then turned back to her breakfast. Mary pinched her leg under the table and Lily just nodded again. She started chewing on her lip. Unsure of what she should say and fully aware that most of the people at sitting at the table just then weren’t too fond of her. She almost chanced a glance at Remus and Peter, because they hadn’t said anything to her, but maybe they knew they didn’t have to because Sirius spoke for all of them yesterday. 

“I don’t know if you would have any interest in a last-minute outing,” James started, causing all eyes to jump to him. He was looking at Vernon, and Vernon’s mustache twitched as he set his paper aside and looked at him. “But Peter and I were going to go golfing this morning out on Blossom Creek Hills. It’s a beautiful eighteen-hole course. Would you like to join us?” 

He didn’t look at Petunia before answering. “Oh, I think I would.” He grinned, sitting up straighter. “And don’t think that I’ll go easy on you just because you’re some Lord of something here. I went golfing with the Vice President of Sales last week, and I didn’t go easy on him either.” 

Peter jumped in, saying something about the other golf courses he and James had played on and just as James had told her yesterday in the car, Vernon and Peter seemed to get along just fine. 

She looked over at James, only to have him look away. 

“Well if the boys are going golfing, then what are we going to do?” Mary asked, looking back and forth between her and Petunia. Petunia pursed her lips and doted over Dudley for a moment before replying. 

“I didn’t know that you were staying here, Mary.” 

Mary nodded, “Yes, I took a semester off school to come and stay with Lily.” Lily reached over and pinched her before she added anything else. “I didn’t want to miss any of the excitement.” She added anyway, pushing Lily’s hand away. 

“Please don’t.” Lily whispered. 

“You let them wind you up,” Mary started, whispering. Anita stepped in this time. 

“You know, I think we might go shopping.” She picked up her teacup and Lily realized that her gran had been watching the scene unfold instead of reading her papers as usual. 

“Shopping?” Mary repeated. “And for what would we go shopping for?” 

“Ball gowns of course. Perhaps some small suits for the wee lad.” She smiled at Dudley who smashed his banana covered fist against the table. 

“Oh yes!” Mary clapped her hands together. “We will be needing quite a few of those soon.” She poked Lily in the side. “Three big events at the end of the month.” 

“The coronation isn’t until February.” Lily corrected. 

“Are we celebrating Lily’s birthday before or after the wedding?” Mary asked. 

“We’ll celebrate her birthday on her birthday.” Anita said, but then tilted her head to the side. “Though I was thinking of having the party before. I’ve been talking to some of the girls and they think it’ll work best that way too.” 

“Emma said you have a surprise for Lily’s birthday party.” James spoke up. Lily’s eyes jumped around the table as her grandmother played coy and Mary twittered on. Then she looked at her sister. She was frowning. 

“Is that not something you’d like to do today?” Lily asked. “It might be fun to try on dresses together.” 

Petunia looked over at Vernon who was scratching at his chin. He opened his mouth and Petunia quickly interjected. “I’d love to go!” Vernon looked over at her with his brow narrowed, but Petunia kept her eyes on Lily. “It sounds like so much fun. And I’d love to see little Dudders in a suit. That would be so cute! Mum would love pictures of that.” 

She was close to rambling, something that Petunia only ever did when the subject of nosy neighbors was broached. Lily frowned. “Perfect. So we’ll all go shopping. And James, Peter and Vernon will go golfing.” 

“You two are welcome to join us.” Peter said, looking at Remus and Sirius. 

“I’d much rather do anything else.” Sirius smiled back at him. 

“The last time you lot dragged me through a golf course, I threatened to murder you all with our golf clubs. I think I should sit it out.” Remus didn’t look the sort to threaten murder, and perhaps that’s why it was both funny and believable. 

Lily tried to look at James again, to see what his reaction to his friends was, but he had been looking at her, and quickly looked away again. She had half a mind to drag him away from the table so they could have some words. The other half of her mind wanted to pull out her phone and text him something mean and biting. 

Mary pinched her again. “What?” She whispered, turning toward her. 

Mary widened her eyes, trying to communicate something with her, but Lily didn’t know what it was, she was too preoccupied with trying to get James to look at her so he would see her pull out her phone and know what her intentions were. 

“What time are we going to head out then?” Vernon asked, wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin and then putting it across his plate. 

“Within the hour?” James looked between Peter and Vernon. “We’ll all go and get our golfing shoes on, and then meet out front.” 

“Perfect.” Peter nodded. 

“Yes, that’s fine.” Vernon agreed. 

James still wouldn’t look at her. Why was he helping her with Vernon if he wouldn’t even look at her? 

“I suppose there’s no sense in waiting about to go shopping either.” Anita said. “Unless Dudley requires a nap first?” 

“Oh no,” Petunia shook her head. “He slept in this morning, worn out from yesterday's excitement. He should be good for now.” 

Everyone started to leave the table to get ready for their planned events, and Lily nearly raced around the table to snag James’ arm before he could slip away. Which he looked like he had planned to do once she’d caught him. Sirius lingered, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Good morning, James.” Lily said, looking up at him and doing her best to not feel the burn that Sirius was glaring into the side of her head. “Would you mind if we talked for a moment?” She nodded toward the side of the room. “Privately.” She almost turned to glare back at Sirius, but refrained. 

“Anything you want to say to him you can-”

“Sirius,” James interjected. 

But he didn’t tell Sirius to leave, so he didn’t. 

Lily tried not to read into that, but he also wasn’t following her to the other side of the room. “I told you that you didn’t need to do that with Vernon.” 

“Yes, but I told you that I would.” 

“Okay, but I think I mentioned how terrible it would be for you.”

“And I said that Peter gets along with everyone and that it would be fine.” 

Lily bit her lip and nodded. “Okay. Well, thank you.” 

He nodded. “Have fun with your sister.” 

Lily was actually feeling a bubble of dread where her sister was concerned because of the look she shared with Vernon, but she kept a smile on her face and refrained from asking him about the text she sent. She was already feeling rather pathetic. “Thank you.” 

“You already said that,” Sirius was smirking at her. 

“Sirius,” James warned again, and then they both walked away. Lily stood there feeling both confused and guilty, though she couldn’t figure out why. 

“So,” Mary wandered over and looped her arm through Lily’s. “What’s going on there?” 

“I don’t know, but I think James is upset with me again.” 

“Again?” 

“Yeah, I stood him up the other night.”

“What? Why?” 

“I forgot about our dinner.” 

“How did you forget about your date?” 

“Dinner.” Lily corrected. 

“Really? Why can’t you call the dinner that you were supposed to have with your future husband a date?” Because a date seemed to involve more choice and less pressure. 

“Okay, a date then. I forgot about it and I thought I fixed things, but when we finished touring the schools yesterday, he was upset with me again. Which I don’t understand because we had a fantastic day.” She itched at her arm and Mary narrowed her brow. 

“Okay, but what did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything.” Lily shrugged, though that didn’t really feel true anymore, she just couldn’t figure out what it was that she’d done. “I didn’t want to talk about something and then he got mad and now he won’t talk to me.” 

“Was the something… him?” 

“No.” Lily shook her head. “I mean, yes, but he had no way of knowing that it was him. We were talking about other things. I don’t know what he thought I didn’t want to talk about… but that’s not the point.” 

“Right, because the point is that you’re a scaredy pants.”

Lily shook her head and took a small step back. “How so?” 

“You’re afraid to get to know him.” 

“What? No, I’m not.” Lily scoffed and clicked her tongue. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t want to marry a stranger, Mary.” 

“No, but you also don’t want to marry someone that you don’t love. I think we have a Schrodinger’s cat situation here.” 

“We do not,” Lily rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away from Mary. 

“Oh no, we most certainly do. You don’t want to get to know him, because if you do, then you’ll know if you like him or not.”

“I like James,” Lily countered. “He’s a nice man. I mean he just offered to go golfing with Vernon so I could spend some time with my sister.” 

“Yes, and Vernon’s lack of attendance today is the only reason I agreed to go.” Mary nodded. “But there’s a difference between liking someone and _liking someone_.” 

Lily stopped walking and turned toward Mary, her hands clasped in front of her. “I want to push you into a shark filled pool.” She turned and started up the path again. “We’re not in primary school, Mary. Please refrain from playing this game.” 

“No, I’ve always been excellent at this game. And besides, you’re the one being ridiculous.”

“No, James is being ridiculous. And also you.” 

“James is upset with you, that’s not ridiculous.”

“I think we need to stop using the word, ‘ridiculous.’”

“Probably.” Mary nodded. She looped her arm through Lily’s again and then pulled her close. “It’s alright to take a chance you know. You might fancy him.” 

“That’s not the issue.” 

“Schrodinger's cat.”

“Nope.” 

“Alright, then what’s the issue?” 

“Can we not do this right now?” Lily asked, her voice quieter now as she glanced over at her friend. “What do you think Petunia is going to tell me when we’re out today?” 

“I mean, you are just a master at changing the subject.” Mary sighed. “I think she’s going to tell you something that you don’t want to hear.” She shrugged. “That’s what she’s always telling you, isn’t it?” 

“My mum emailed me.” Lily added.

“You should call her.” 

“I called her before James got here, she told me she couldn’t talk because she was on her way to a painting class.” 

“Fuck.” Mary shook her head. “Well you know that I’m always going to be here for you. And Gran will fight anyone you tell her has hurt your heart. And she’ll do it privately, unlike me.” 

Lily gave her a small smile. “Does my family think that I abandoned them?” 

“You’ve got too much on your mind, my love. And it’s all so heavy. No, they don’t think you’ve abandoned them, they just don’t know how to handle you suddenly swimming in wealth and being the princess of a country that no one knew existed until you put it on the map five years ago.”

“Right.” She nodded. “Mary?” 

“Yes?” 

“I think I might be spiraling.” 

“Just a smidge.” Mary agreed. “We’ll work it out though. We’ll have a sleepover tonight, yes? I’ll bring a bunch of junk food and our top five movies and we’ll stay up all night and talk over everything. How does that sound?” 

“It has been a couple of weeks since we watched _Pride and Prejudice_.”

“Yes, but I might bring _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_.” 

“In addition to, or instead of?” 

“I don’t know. I think I’m in love with Lily James though.” 

“I mean, at this point, who isn’t?” 

“Perhaps I’ll just bring a bunch of movies with her in them then. _Baby Driver, Cinderella, Mama Mia-_”

“Excuse me,” The girls stopped walking and Remus jogged in front of them. Lily started chewing the inside of her cheek, despite Remus not looking nearly as smug as Sirius had earlier. In fact, Remus didn’t look smug at all. 

“‘Lo,” Mary grinned. “What can we do for you? You want to come shopping with us?” 

Remus smiled at her and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Nah, I think I’m good for now.” He looked at Lily and she bit the tip of her tongue. “I just wanted to let you know that me and the lads are leaving in the morning. I don’t think that anyone has told you that yet.” 

For a brief moment, Lily thought he was including James in that. She clenched her jaw and then nodded. “So, you think I should get Sirius to stop hating me before then?” Mary snorted. 

“Just wear a shorter skirt and constantly bring up your English boyfriend.”

Remus smiled at her appreciatively and then looked back at Lily. “I wouldn’t focus on Sirius, no.” He took a deep breath. “But you know, if you could show him that you’re not going to ignore James while we’re gone,” He shrugged a shoulder. “That might make us all feel a bit better.” 

“I haven’t been ignoring James.” Lily said quietly. “But if you are all leaving, then I can promise that I won’t leave him to mope about in his room all day.” 

“I don’t know if he’d mope exactly-” 

“Well he’d miss Sirius, so he might.” But then she wasn’t sure that she was allowed to say something like that to Remus so she frowned. “Don’t tell Sirius I said that. I promised James.” 

Remus narrowed his brow. “Is this a promise from before we arrived?” 

“He talked about you and Peter too.” Lily nodded. “But apparently Sirius used to help him get into trouble when they were younger. The Prime Minister brought it up at a charity tea.” She felt like she was rambling, but Remus was smiling. 

“Oh yes, lots of trouble. Pete and I managed to miss the brunt of it most of the time. We’re sneakier.” Lily smiled at him. “Did us coming here make it weirder for you?” 

“No,” Lily shook her head quickly. “No, of course not. I’m glad that he has you three with him. It stopped Mary from accosting him so frequently.” 

“It was only like three times.” Mary scoffed and Lily rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, in as many days too.”

Remus chuckled. “Well, I just wanted to make sure that you knew.” 

Lily nodded. “Thank you, I appreciate being told things ahead of time. I don’t really know how to fix things right now, but I’ll figure it out.” 

“Do you know why James is miffed with Lily?” Mary asked, and Lily snapped her head towards her to glare at her. Something that Mary completely ignored. 

Remus raised his brow, his arms straightening as he raised his shoulders. “Oh, well, I don’t know that he’s miffed.” 

Mary wasn’t impressed with this answer. “He’s miffed. He hardly even noticed the lovely dress I had her maids put her in this morning.” Lily’s glare intensified. 

“That’s why they were being so weird?” They both ignored her, but she wasn’t all that thrilled by the notion that Mary was influencing how she was dressed to catch James’ eye. 

“I’m sure he did.” 

“He barely looked at her.” Mary’s arms were crossed over her chest. Remus looked extremely uncomfortable and started casting looks between Lily and Mary. 

“Look, this doesn’t feel like my place. It’s probably best if Lily just talks to James.” 

“I just tried that,” Lily interjected, expecting to be ignored again. “Sirius glared at me the entire time- except when he was smirking at me because James wasn’t really talking to me.”

“Try again.” Remus, hands still in his pockets, tilted his head to the side. “Have fun with your sister today.” He took a few steps back and Lily nodded. 

“Yeah. Thank you.” She bit her tongue again and jutted her jaw from side to side. 

“You’ll bite it off if you keep that up,” Mary nudged her with her elbow and then she started walking off again. 

“How did that get to me more than Sirius did?” Lily said, following after Mary. 

“Sirius is a prat. Remus isn’t.” 

“I wish I could get to parliament like that.” 

“So you’re going to talk to James then?”

“No.” Lily shook her head. “I was planning on marrying him without ever speaking to him again.” Mary clicked her tongue. 

“You’re probably stubborn enough to do that.”

“Of course I’m going to talk to him, now let’s get ready for ballgown shopping, yes? No more talking about all of this, let’s just have fun for a little while.”

“Yes, alright. We can have fun for a bit, but then I’m going to back to giving you hard time until you fix things with your intended.”

“You might be a terrible friend, you know that?”

“Absurd.” Mary scoffed.

“You really are.” Lily nodded. Mary reached out and pinched her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the longest of the chapter so far, but I know that there wasn't a whole lot of jily in it, so I apologize. Lily's got a lot to work through and that requires some distance sometimes. I thought that we'd get to the shopping scene between Lily and Petunia, but I didn't realize just how long these scenes were. We did get some Sirius and Lily and some Remus and Lily though, so there's that, right?   
Anyway, let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey everyone! Happy Sunday! We've got so much snow and ice and wind here that going outside is just not fun at all. So hopefully I'll get to be inside, reading and working on this fic for a good part of the day. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter! It has some stuff you've all been asking for! 

Shopping as the Princess of Gryffindor was much different than it had been when she was fifteen and walking around the mall with Mary, fifteen quid stuffed into her pocket and looking for a very specific yellow jacket. There was no more searching for anything. 

Everything was brought to her. 

Of course, today at least, they did leave the castle, but only to go to a private showroom at a boutique who had supplied the royal family with gowns for years now. This was their first stop of the day. 

Dudley had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the shop, which Petunia said was best, it only meant that he’d be more cheerful while they tried on dresses. And he was fairly cheerful too. Toddling around the room from one shiny dress to the next, picking up flowers off the coffee table and trying to stuff them into his mouth. Petunia chased around after him and Lily smiled after them. 

“Your highness,” Lily looked over at the owner of the shop. She was carrying two gowns, the most she could carry at once as they were large, cumbersome and very heavy. “These two are for you.” 

Lily stood and walked over to look them over. She had never much cared for shopping before. It had always seemed like a scavenger hunt where the payout just wasn’t worth all the work you put into it. 

This was different. 

These dresses were made by people who had thought of her specifically. They had seen what she’d chosen to wear over the years, and they tailored their gowns to what they thought she would like. They took into account her style preferences, her skin tone, her hair color and they only offered her things that would look nice, that would make her feel pretty. And she loved it.

She felt like she was playing dress up every time she came to get a new ball gown, and that was much more fun that roaming aimlessly around the mall only to end up spending all her money on an overpriced and slightly cold pretzel. 

“One of those dresses is pink,” Mary grinned, looking away from Dudley to inspect the gowns. “I demand you try that one on first.” 

“I will wear it forever.” Lily agreed, reaching for the pink gown and then heading toward the small dressing room in the back. 

When she stepped back into the room, brushing her hands down the sides and smiling to herself, she was met with two smiles and a frown. She narrowed her eyes at her sister. “Do you not like it?” 

“You look lovely.” Petunia shook her head. “Absolutely beautiful.” 

“Then why are you looking at me like that?” Lily chuckled, turning to look at herself in the trifold mirror. She always thought this room looked a bit like the showroom of ‘_Say Yes to the Dress.’ _Lily said yes to almost all of the dresses.

Petunia didn’t stop frowning and opened her mouth to say something. Lily’s stomach turned to lead as she awaited whatever Petunia was about to tell her. This was what she’d stopped Vernon from saying this morning and Lily really didn’t want to know what it was. “I won’t be coming to your wedding.” 

_Guilt. _That was the reason that they had been getting along so well. She hated that that was her first thought.

Lily pressed her lips together. It was Anita who asked for more information. 

“And why not?” 

Petunia shifted on the couch she was perched on, reaching out and pulling Dudley onto her lap like he was a security blanket, something that would soften the looks she was getting. 

“Well it’s all a little last minute, isn’t it? And Vernon planned a Holiday for us that week. He booked it months ago and we’re going with one of his important clients, so it’s not like we can just reschedule the trip. How would that look?” 

“How’s it going to look that Lily’s only sister isn’t at her wedding?” Mary asked, her voice scathing. “You can come without Vernon.”

Petunia shook her head and pressed a kiss to the top of Dudley’s head. “I don’t think I can. It’s my job to support him, and it would look- It’s a really big client. And he’s been so excited for so long,” Her lips pressed into a thin line. “And I’ve also been looking forward to the holiday for months now! You decided to get married only last week, you can’t be too surprised that there are some schedule conflicts.” She was looking at Lily, who still hadn’t said anything. She stood there in her petal pink gown, looking at her older sister who had always done everything the way that she was supposed to. 

“Is mum coming?” She asked quietly, thinking that if Petunia wasn’t going to come, then her mum might find some excuse not to come as well.

“Of course, mum will be there!” Petunia nearly stood up, but it was harder to propel herself forward with Dudley on her lap. “I would be there too if it was any other week.” Lily nodded her head, not sure what her sister wanted her to say.

Anita and Mary both had more things to say, and when they realized that Lily wasn’t going to say anything, they set in on Petunia. 

She knew that she should be angry. She knew that she should be sad. Surprised, upset, hurt. But she wasn’t any of those things. She was simply resigned. 

“I think I know why James is upset with me.” She said quietly, looking down at her hand. It was one of those realizations that came to her as she said it out loud. One moment she wasn’t thinking about James at all, only her sister and the fact that she wouldn’t be at her wedding, and then she was quite certain that she knew what she’d done to make him take a step back. 

“What?” Mary looked over at her, her glare that had been aimed at Petunia softening slightly. 

“Nothing. It’s fine Petunia, of course I understand. You can still pick out a gown for the coronation if you’d like.” Then she stepped over to the full-length mirror again to inspect the gowns full effect. 

“It’s fine?” Petunia asked, her voice quiet and uncertain, so unlike what it normally was. 

Lily nodded, giving her nephew a small smile in the mirror. He clapped his hands together and laughed. “I understand our relationship, where I stand with you and what to expect. So yes, it’s fine. I’m not surprised.” 

And that shut everyone up.

Lily simply picked up the second gown and went to try that on as well. 

Lily held a peach pie and two forks in one hand, and used the other to knock on James’ door. This was the first time she’d been to his rooms, as she’d never given herself a reason to come here before.

She half expected one of his friends to answer the door, but soon, he was standing in front of her, wearing old joggers and a t-shirt. There was something very humanizing about seeing him in what she guessed were his pajamas. Dressed like this, he looked like a normal bloke. Perhaps still a bit too posh to be someone she’d run into while walking about Cokesworth, but perhaps she’d find him in the larger town north of Cokesworth. 

“‘Lo,” She said, wishing she was also wearing her pajamas now. 

“Evening,” He greeted, and he still didn’t look to happy to see her. She couldn’t blame him. 

“I made you a peach pie.” He had been choosing to look at that instead of her, so of course he’d already noticed. 

“I see that. Looks like you made it all by yourself.” His teasing lacked his usual smirk. 

“I did,” She nodded. “May I come in?” 

He hesitated, and then he took a breath and stepped back, allowing her space to walk through the door. 

“Thank you.” 

“What brings you here?” He asked, closing the door behind her. Lily looked around the room, wanting to make sure that Sirius wasn’t lurking around somewhere, ready to jump down her throat. 

“They’re not here.” He said. 

“Oh,” She nodded. “Remus told me this morning that they were heading out tomorrow morning.” 

“Yeah.” He nodded. He knew she was stalling, and he wasn’t giving her an inch. 

“Alright,” She shrugged, setting the pie down on a nearby table and taking a seat. “Come eat this pie with me and we’ll talk then.” 

He ran a hand through his hair and inspected her for a moment before he started walking over toward the table. She realized he was wearing trainers. 

“Were you going out for a run?” She asked. 

“Lily,” His tone was warning. 

“I just mean that I can come back if you want,” She wouldn’t mind him having a few more endorphins in his system either. 

“It’s fine. What did you come here to talk about?” 

“Us.” She said rather simply. “I came here to talk about us.” 

He sighed and leaned forward, picking up a fork. “Oh?” She hadn’t brought plates and he seemed alright with just digging into the middle like she’d planned. 

“Yes. I couldn’t work out why you were so upset before, but then my sister- Well I figured it out today.” She bit down on her cheek. “I mean, maybe I should just ask you why you’re upset…” 

“No,” He shook his head. “Please tell me what you worked out.” 

Lily huffed and picked up her own fork. “You got upset when I wouldn’t tell you what was bothering me. When I shut you down when you were trying to be helpful.” 

“Is that what you figured out?” 

“No,” She shook her head. “I figured out that you got frustrated because everything surrounding us is just one big question mark. Which is frustrating. It’s why I got frustrated too!” 

He was quiet, not telling her that she was right, but more importantly, not telling her she was wrong. 

“We’ve agreed to get married,” She said this definitively, which took a bit of barring down, but she knew that he would only get more frustrated with her if she didn’t. “But we’re not stepping into the… usual roles of two people who are about to get married. We’ve known one another for a week, and while we’ve been spending some time getting to know one another, we haven’t spent any time at all going over what our expectations are, or what we need from the other person.” She was looking at the pie as she spoke now. “We don’t know exactly how we’re meant to treat one another. How much we’re supposed to tell, how honest we should be or how much we’re supposed to work through on our own.” 

James took another bite of pie and Lily took that to mean that it wasn’t terrible and took a bite herself. “Do you think I’m way off base here?” 

He sighed, swallowing before he answered, and he seemed a bit deflated now. “No. I think that’s a pretty good observation.” 

Lily sat up straighter and grinned a bit, “Yes, well, good. I thought so too.” 

He almost smiled. “It feels artificial.” He said instead and Lily raised her brows in agreement. 

“Like we’re either putting on a show or trying to fit into the roles that we think we’re supposed to be in.”

“I was asking you about something that you weren’t ready to tell me yet.” 

“We had a different set of expectations.” Lily did grin this time, laying her hands out like she was presenting him with an important discovery. Which it was in a sense, but it probably didn’t necessitate the bravado. 

James offered her a small smile and then took another bite of the pie. “This isn’t bad, you know.” 

“Yeah, I’m not completely terrible at baking.” Lily agreed, taking another bite. “Also peach pies are pretty simple. And I asked for help making the crust.” 

“Isn’t pie crust just-”

“Yes, and I asked for help.” 

He chuckled. “So what are we going to do now?”

“Tell each other what our expectations are? Agree on where we need to start. Because going in blind isn’t working out so well.” 

“What do you mean, where we need to start.” 

“I need us to be friends.” She said, again, sticking with speaking simply and straightforward. “I need the expectation to be friendship.” 

James’s hand went up to his hair and he nodded. “Yeah, I understand that.” 

“I know that we have to act like we’re more out in public, and that we have to think about our interactions in a more critical way, but I don’t want to have to do that in private. I think that that would be setting us up for failure.” She took another bite of pie and then nodded, “I don’t want to have to wonder if you’re doing something in public for the people watching or because you want to, I don’t want to always be questioning your motives or what people are telling me about you. I need you and I to be friends so that I can just ask and not feel weird about it.” 

His hand was still in his hair and he was nodding slowly, looking down at the pie. He turned and looked at her. “Is that all you want?” 

She bit down on her tongue. “Right now, that is what I need.” She repeated. 

“Okay,” He nodded again. “But there are many different kinds of friendship. Levels of friendship?” He cocked his head to the side and then took another bite of the pie. There was a decent sized hole in the middle now. “How close of friends is the goal?” 

Lily thought this was a fair question, but it wasn’t one that she’d expected so she had to think about it for a minute. “I mean, I want us to be close. I like feeling as though you’re my partner in all of this. I like feeling comfortable around you and talking freely.” 

“I’m glad that you feel that way.” He was still looking at his pie. They were both quiet for a moment. “So what we really need to do, is just start at the beginning.” He looked up at her now. 

Lily chewed on the inside of her cheek and nodded. “Not entirely at the beginning but yes, I think that would be a good idea. I think when you came here, there was a lot of wanting to skip over the beginning because we don’t have a lot of time to get to know one another. But we can’t really rush things. And I know,” She put her fork down and sat up straighter. “I know that a lot of that is on me. I was not at all ready to meet you or to jump into this and so I wasn’t- I guess I wasn’t really letting myself think about what was happening.” 

“But you have told me that I make things easier.” He grinned and she shook her head. 

“You do. But I’m also not thinking about how I’m going to marry you whenever I’m with you.”

“Is that part of the reason you got upset in the car?” James asked, “Or should I let that go?” 

Lily fidgeted for a moment and then let out a sigh. “I suppose I was upset with Emma for sitting up front.”

“Because she said that we were flirting?” 

“The implication that we were supposed to act differently when she was gone, I guess. We were flirting, I wasn’t upset that she pointed it out, just that she left because of it.”

James nodded. “It did make things a little awkward.” 

“Yes, and that’s part of why I thought we needed to talk too, because I need to stop thinking that you’re letting other people- _I _need to stop letting other people’s opinions of what we should be doing, or how we _should_ feel about one another, cloud my judgment or influence how I behave around you.” 

“You are really good at over thinking things.” 

“I’m also really good at under thinking things.” Lily nodded. “I still think you could benefit from a list.” 

James chuckled. “So when Sirius treats you like you’re my girlfriend, does that bother you?” 

Lily tilted her head as she thought about it. She wasn’t sure if Sirius had ever really acted like Lily was James girlfriend, because she kind of felt like he had been treating her like she was an imposter. But perhaps that’s just how he treated the girls in James’ life. “I don’t think so. I mean Mary is constantly saying all kinds of inappropriate things about you. They know that we’re not in that place though. So, it’s just teasing. It’s the people that don’t know what we are, the people that are assuming that we’re getting married because we’re in love that bothers me. Or that because we’re getting married, we have to fall in love. Like Emma seems to be doing.” 

James nodded. “Alright. But you think it’ll be better now that we’ve talked about it?” 

“Yes,” She nodded emphatically. “I mean it took me about three and a half hours to work up the nerve to come talk to you, but I already feel better.” And that was the truth. She did feel better. “What about you?” 

He nodded. “I think you got to the root of things. And yes, I suppose I feel a bit better. We did need to have this conversation.” 

“Yes, so things will be better now.” She took another bite of the pie, but she should probably stop now since she was full. “And tomorrow is Sunday, I’m thinking we should play badminton again.” 

He ran his hand along his jaw and let out a huff, “Yeah, so I can kick your arse again.” 

“Excuse you, I would have won-”

“No excuses, Evans. I _did _win.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I’m a winner, actually.” 

“Shut up,” But she was smiling. “Bragging isn’t cute.” 

“Are you telling me that you wouldn’t be bragging, had you won?”

“You’ll find out tomorrow when I win.”

“I think that counts as pre-bragging.” 

“Ridiculous.” She shook her head and put her fork down in the pie plate. They’d done a pretty good job of demolishing the pie. James did the same and then stuck his hand out in her direction. She narrowed her brow but took his hand. 

“Friends,” He said and she laughed. “I meant to say that first, but I still had pie in my mouth.” 

“Friends.” She nodded. 

“Does this mean that I have to stop referring to everything we do as a date?” He still had her hand wrapped up in his. He hadn’t held her hand in a couple of days and she’d missed the warmth.

She tilted her head back and forth as though it was a very tough call. “No, I think that’s fine.”

“If you’d like, I could start calling them ‘forced interactions with my soon to be spouse.’”

Lily snorted and covered her mouth with her free hand. 

“There it is. I was wondering when I was going to get to hear the snort again.” 

“Oh were you? When you were brooding around, avoiding me, you were thinking about me snorting?” 

“I was not brooding around-”

“Yes you were.” She stood up from her chair, palms against the table. “I should probably leave and let you go on your run now.” 

“I’m not going to go on a run after all the pie I just ate,” James chuckled. “That’s just be asking for a cramp.”

Lily put on hand on her hip and tapped her fingers against the table. “Yes, well, I’m not really into running, so I hadn’t thought of that. It wasn’t a bad pie though, no?” 

“Quite good.” James grinned. 

“I had some help with the crust but I did manage the rest on my own though.” 

“I think ‘quite good’ is the only compliment I can give you.” He was smirking and Lily rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, I know. I’m not great. I’m a princess, not a chef.” 

“A baker.”

“What?” 

“Chefs don’t make pies, a baker does.” 

“Oh hush up,” Lily shook her head, but she was still smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” 

“Tomorrow morning.” He nodded. 

“Oh!” Lily hadn’t turned around yet, “How dreadful was golfing today?” 

James laughed and stood up as well. “Don’t know what your sister sees in him, but like I said, Pete gets along with everyone. So it really wasn’t that bad.” He tilted his head. “You still owe me though.” 

Lily pressed her lips together. “I know that,” She said. “I owe you quite a bit.” 

His smile softened. “No, I don’t think we’re as uneven as you think we are.” 

Lily, who was terrified that James was going to grow to resent her, smiled. “I’m glad you think that, but you’re wrong. Anyway, I’ll let you be now. Goodnight,” She turned and started for the door.

“Good, I do get rather upset when pretty girls try and stick around in my room.” 

Lily sucked on her teeth and then turned around to face him, “You flirting with me, Potter?”

“No, I’m trying to get rid of you, Evans.” His arms were crossed over his chest. Lily felt a trill of giddiness run up her spine. 

“Clearly.” 

“Is calling you ‘pretty’ considered flirting?”

“I’m pretty sure. But also there was your tone.” Lily nodded. 

“Alright, I guess I’m flirting a little bit. Did we make a rule about that? I was pretty sure that you said it was okay.” 

“I’m pretty sure we’ve been flirting since we met.” Lily shrugged a shoulder, thinking back to how he had told her that she looked as though she’d bloomed in a garden right before they left to go to the charity tea. She’d quite liked that compliment. It wasn’t anything like what anyone else had said to her. 

“So you just don’t want Emma to know that?” He stepped around the table and leaned against it, his arms still over his chest. 

“No. Secret flirting is more fun.” She’d already explained why she hadn’t liked what Emma had done. He was just teasing her now, and she didn’t mind his teasing. 

“Much more fun.” He winked at her and she laughed. 

“Alright, goodnight, James.” 

“Goodnight, Lily.” 

She walked out of his room with a large smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are. I'm not even leaving everyone upset this weekend, how great am I?   
Anyway, reviews are great and you're all going to flip over next weeks chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I realized that I'm more than 100 pages ahead of you guys in this story, and that's a solid eleven chapters, so you're getting a double update this weekend! Both because I don't need to be that far ahead, and because you deserve to have this scene in it's entirely without a week interrupting it. I mean, I needed it to be two chapters, otherwise it would be way too long, but you can have both chapters this weekend.
> 
> These two chapters were a blast to write and I really hope that you enjoy them!

The next morning, they played badminton. Lily was winning for most of the first half, to the point where she felt confident enough to be cocky about the whole thing, but then James came up from behind and ended up crushing her. 

She accused him of cheating, and he told her he managed to win because she was cheering him on. 

“I was doing the exact opposite of cheering you on,” She pouted, hands on her hips as they went inside for breakfast. 

“Well I respond better to trash talk than regular cheering anyway.” He shrugged, uncapping his water bottle and taking a swig. Lily thought about reaching over and squeezing the bottom so he would get doused, but then Emma appeared in front of them and coughed. 

“I hope you two had a good game.” Lily’s pout became more pronounced. “I take it you won, James.” 

“Twice now,” He grinned like a prat and Lily scowled at him. 

“Good on you,” Emma smiled back at him and then pulled out her phone. “Another damn email from Rita-”

“I’m not talking to her.” Lily interjected. 

“Of course, you’re not.” Emma waved her comment away and huffed. “She always adds something about ‘fears swimming in your eyes’ or how Mary and you will probably run off together someday soon.”

“I wouldn’t discount that last one.” Lily shrugged, nabbing James’ water bottle and taking a swig. 

“Pardon you,” James sounded indigent and Lily smirked as she took another drink. 

“She’s only joking,” Emma finally looked up at the two of them and clapped her hands together. Lily didn’t bother to correct her. “So, I know today is Sunday, and we have family time on Sunday, and we don’t do press, but I’m thinking that we might put all that on hold until after the coronation.” 

“No.” Lily shook her head as she recapped James’ water bottle and handed it back to him. “No, we’ve never done press on Sunday.” 

“I know that, but I was thinking that we should probably go ahead and get the engagement over and done with so we can stop fielding ‘will the wedding happen’ questions and move on to ‘who will be designing the dress’ questions. Also, looking at the timeline of things, it kind of has to happen today anyway, since the wedding is only weeks away.” 

Lily’s eyes had slowly gotten wider and wider during that last sentence. She felt, rather than saw, James turn to look at her. When she didn’t say anything, he turned back to Emma. 

“You want to do the engagement today?” He asked, and his voice didn’t sound as light and joyful as it had a few moments ago, but it also didn’t sound like the endless scream into the void that was going on in Lily’s head just then. 

She had known that this was coming, hadn’t she? She had thought that she’d prepared herself better for this.

“The sun is out, it’s not freezing- probably because of global warming, but if we’re all going to die we might as well enjoy what we can - and not to get too media savvy on you, but if we do it today, we control the rest of the week in terms of news. There will be no more speculation stories, everyone will be reporting on this! And then on Lily’s birthday and the wedding and there will be no more wildcards.” Lily knew that that was mostly true. They had waited a week, but it was already the twelfth and they did have to get the ball rolling. 

And so, before she was done processing the fact that Emma was resigned to die at the hands of global warming, she was nodding her head and shaking herself out of her stupor. “That makes sense.” She agreed. 

Emma blinked in surprise. “Really? I thought you’d give some argument about how I needed to stay out of it and just let the two of you run the show.” 

“Are you just handing me arguments now?” Lily asked, trying to smile. Judging by Emma and James’ face, she probably hadn’t succeeded. “Do you have a plan for this?” She wasn’t sure who she was asking. Emma answered. 

“No.” She said quickly. “I mean, it should be where there are reporters, but other than that, I have no input here. Because it is up to the two of you.” 

“Could have used more of a heads up,” James ran his hand along his jawline and started fiddling with the top of his water bottle. “Is that all the press you were talking about for the day?”

“Yes, we’ll do a couple interviews and talk shows later in the week, but for today, just let them see you two get engaged and that will be enough.” She nodded, probably so smiley because her job to convince them both that this was a good idea had been greatly simplified by Lily’s lack of an argument. She looked down at her phone for a moment. “Should I have a car come around?” 

James cleared his throat, “I think we can manage that after we come up with a plan.” Lily nodded, in complete agreement. 

Emma pressed her lips together and smiled at the two of them. “Alright then, I’ll touch base with the two of you this evening.” She started to walk away and then turned on her heel, walking backwards now as she spoke to the two of them. “Of course, if you find that you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here to help the two of you in any way that you need me.” 

Lily nodded and refrained from telling her that her original plan of making herself scarce was the plan that Lily was going to stick with. 

But then Emma was gone, and it was just James and her now. 

She clenched her jaw. 

“Well that certainly adds a new dynamic to our day,” James said, reaching up with his free hand and rubbing it along his jawline. Lily steeled herself and then turned to face him. 

“At least you stopped being smug,” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him. James raised a brow and then let out a huff. 

“I most certainly did not,” He started walking down the hall, and Lily followed. “I just completely embarrassed you on the court and by the end of the day, I’ll be engaged to a very beautiful woman. I’ve got loads to be smug about.” He turned his head to wink at her and something started burning in her stomach. She almost stopped walking, feeling as though she had been thrown completely off balance. 

She blinked at the back of his head.

She quickened her steps so that she was beside him again. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?” 

“Of course, I do.” Still smug. "But it's hard not to be when I'm always right though. And I always win. If you ever beat me at anything, I'm sure you'll be incorrigible as well."

She scoffed and shoved his shoulder. "If I win? I win all the time!" She shoved his shoulder again.

"Hey, careful! I have to propose to you with that arm later." 

And that should have made her nervous, but he was acting like she’d actually injured his arm and she couldn’t stop the bubbles of laughter from erupting. “Oh stop it, you can use your other arm.” Though she was still laughing while she said it and the look that James was giving her only made her laugh more. 

“I can’t use my left hand- I mean, I know technically I’ll use both hands, but this is the one that does the heavy lifting…” He mimed opening a ring box and Lily kept laughing. “I guess they both do the same amount of work, but still. I can’t do it one handed, so I still need you to refrain from injuring me.” 

Lily held onto his arm now to keep herself upright. “Stop it,” She said, holding his side as well. “This isn’t funny,” 

James looked at her with his brows narrowed, “Lily, I’m not the one laughing. I for one, think that this is very serious and don’t understand why you’ve succumb to a fit of giggles.” Lily kept laughing and James tossed his arm around her shoulders and started down the hallway. 

Lily took a deep breath and was able to calm herself slightly, though her smile got no smaller. “I’m laughing because you’re ridiculous.”

“You’re laughing because you forgot that you lost, actually.” 

Lily almost swatted him again, “True. I suppose I did forget, but now you’ve reminded me, and I don’t know how I’ll say ‘yes’ to you later if you insist on reminding me.” 

“I have to remind you though; do you remember how cocky and arrogant you were before our first game? And then again before this game? You created this atmosphere.” 

Lily clicked her tongue and shook her head. “I’m a wonderful sport and would not at all tease you if you were to lose. I’d be gracious-”

“Liar.” James interrupted. 

“James Potter,” Lily put a hand on her hip and glared up at him. 

“Lily Evans,” He mimicked, his own hand on his hip, his water bottle sticking out at a strange angle. 

“You can’t call me a liar.” 

“I can if you’re lying.” 

“I’m not lying.”

“Now you’re double lying.” He let his arm fall from around her shoulders and continued down the hall. “Now go and change into something nice. We’ve got an engagement to stage.” 

Lily started after him for a moment, not saying anything. Before he reached the end of the hallway, he stopped and turned around, his arms crossed over his chest now. 

“What? Nothing to say?” He teased. 

She stayed quiet for a moment. “Thank you.” 

James narrowed his brow. “For what?” 

Lily shuffled from one foot to the other. “For being my friend.” She shrugged one of her shoulders. “For teasing me and giving me a hard time and beating me at badminton even though I’m a horrid loser.” 

“That is what friends are for,” James winked.

And even though that was the same word that she had used, it landed too softly, and Lily’s smile felt for a fraction of a second. If James noticed, he didn’t say anything. 

Mary was in her room when she got there, and she screamed when Lily told her what was happening. And then she called Reginald and screamed some more. And then he screamed too, but Lily thought that was mainly because she had hurt his ear with her screaming. 

Mary had refused to calm down despite Lily’s many pleas, and so she got dressed to get engaged with Mary twirling around her on her tiptoes and critiquing everything she tried to pull out of her closet. 

“He really likes your eyes, Lily. Wear something that makes them even more striking than they are.” 

Lily narrowed her eyes, “How do you know he likes my eyes?” 

Mary shrugged, “James and I have secret meetings about you.” 

“No, you don’t.”

“Reggie comes to them too. Gran was there the other day.” 

“Stop,” Lily shook her head and turned back to her clothes. She rarely picked out her clothes for special events anymore, so she really didn’t know what she was doing. “I’m stressing out, Mary.” She fingered a few of her gowns, chewing on her tongue as she thought of all the reasons that they were wrong for today. _She’d just been in a yellow dress, she’d just been in a blue dress, she couldn’t wear red- why did she even own that dress? _

“I know,” Mary’s voice changed, and Lily knew that she was done teasing her. She wished that she wasn’t, she wished things could just be light and happy and silly between them like normal. “Here, I’ll help you.” 

“You will not,” Lily huffed, though she turned away from her clothes. “You’re just going to tell me to wear my pajamas and six-inch heels and then pull out a WWE belt from who knows where-”

“Lily,” Mary’s eyes were wide. “Take a breath and go sit down. I’ll pick out your clothes for you.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue again and took a breath. Mary looked actually a little worried. Had she been harsher than she’d meant to? Was her face redder than it felt?

She took another breath and walked over to her bed. “I was laughing about this not an hour ago.”

“When you were with, James?” 

“Yes.” Lily nodded. Why wasn’t she nervous about all this stuff when she was with him? Why didn’t she seem to care about the fact that she was _getting married _when she was with James? 

“So, I take it you finally beat him then?” 

Mary was distracting her. Lily knew this. But she also got distracted. 

“No.” She spit out. “He beat me _again_. And by more than one point this time.” Mary laughed and looked over her shoulder at her. 

“And he got you to laugh afterward? You remember that one time when you pushed me into a pool and then stormed out of my backyard because I beat you at tic-tac-toe?”

“You cheated!” Lily threw her hands in the air and then caught herself. “I really need to get over this. I’m going to be in charge of a country soon.” She bit her lip. 

“I love that that doesn’t make you as nervous as getting married does.” 

“I’m good at my job.” Lily shrugged. “I mean, there are parts that I don’t like, and parts that I need to get better at, but overall, I’m good at it. However, I think I’m too young to be getting married.” 

Mary shrugged. “My parents were younger than you when they got married.” 

“Yes,” Lily lamented. “But your parents were actual _soulmates._”

“Maybe James is your soulmate.” Mary was looking at the dresses again. 

Lily bit her lip. “Don’t you think I’d know if he was though?”

“No. My mum didn’t talk to my dad for three weeks after they met.” 

“She was afraid of clowns.” Lily said like it was obvious.

“Yeah, and you’re afraid of James.” 

Lily snorted. “I am not afraid of James.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re afraid of the idea of James.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” 

“Yeah, it does.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. 

“Here you go,” Mary pulled out a knee-length, long sleeved, cream colored dress and Lily cocked her head to the side. 

“With my green coat?”

“No, the light purple one.” Mary was smiling now. “I’m so good at this. Why don’t you let me pick out your clothes all the time?” 

Lily took in a breath and didn’t bother answering her, she knew why not. 

“I think that will do.” Lily pushed herself off the couch and held her hand out.

James looked absolutely stunning when Lily walked into the entrance hall. She almost tripped out of surprise. 

Of course, James had always been attractive. Mary had thought Lily picked him because he was the most attractive. She hadn’t, but he was. Attractive that is. The messy hair and the glasses and the crooked grin just worked for him. 

And then there was his eyes. And his jaw. And his nose- could a nose be attractive?

And now he had his hair styled, a fancy coat and a scarf. He looked like he just stepped out of a Hallmark movie. 

Lily was a big fan of Hallmark movies.

She cleared her throat and he turned around, his eyes widening when he saw her. She brushed her hair behind her ear self-consciously and then wondered why she was being self-conscious around James. “Well don’t you look dapper?” She grinned, forcing herself to act normal. This was a fake engagement. Well actually it wasn’t, it was a real engagement, but it was an arranged one. One with no feelings. 

James gave her that crooked grin of his and her heart sputtered for a moment. 

Okay, there were some feelings, but she wasn’t sure what they were or what they meant. “I was about to tell you that you look like a princess.” He chuckled. “But of course, you do, because you _are _a princess.” 

“I am.” Lily nodded. “And I know I look amazing, Mary already told me.” He laughed and she did a half spin, because she would probably fall if she did a full spin. James had his hand out, looking as though he were ready to catch her. She swatted it away. “I’m not going to fall.” 

He grabbed her hand. “I think you just jinxed yourself. I better keep this just in case.” 

She rolled her eyes, but she did like holding his hand, so she wasn’t actually upset about it. “I suppose that’s fine.” 

“Oh, is it?” James started leading them to the doors and Lily shrugged. 

“I mean, you’re not wrong. I did jinx myself. It was not smart to just flat out say that I _wasn’t _going to fall.”

“Sometimes I forget that you know how to admit when you’re wrong.” 

“I wasn’t wrong,” Lily scoffed. “I never disagreed with you, I _agreed _with you.” 

“Well then I didn’t know you knew how to do that.” 

She sighed dramatically, “Oh James, stop being so contrary.” 

He shook his head and started laughing. “Alright, fine. I’ll just tell you that you look very pretty, like I was trying to before you told me that you already know that you look amazing.” 

Lily clicked her tongue, “That doesn’t sound like you telling me that I’m pretty but thank you I guess.” James squeezed her hand. 

“Are you nervous?” 

She pursed her lips and glanced over at him. “Of course, I am. What gave it away?” 

“You’re acting funny.”

“I was being sarcastic.” 

He smiled at her. 

“I like your hair. I didn’t know that it knew how to do that.” She echoed. 

He kept smiling. “It won’t last long. We’ve got two hours tops, and then it’ll be a mess again.” 

Lily nodded. “I like it when it’s a mess too.” 

“Very funny.” 

“I’m not joking, now.” 

“No, I meant you’re acting _very _funny.” 

“I’ve told you how I feel about your hair before.” 

“Yes, but- okay. Let’s just get in the car, yes?” 

Lily nodded and wondered if she really was acting weird, or if he was nervous. Perhaps it was both. 

Moody held the door open for both of them and Lily slid in, James settling in beside her. 

“So, where are we going? Or is that a funny thing to ask?” She clasped her hands in her lap. None of this felt real. It was like she was just pretending, like it wouldn’t make a real difference to her one way or the other. 

She knew that wasn’t true, she knew that this wasn’t for pretend, but she couldn’t convince herself of that. Because this was ridiculous. It was the twenty first century. People didn’t get married for political reasons unless that’s what they wanted to do. No one could have their job held hostage by parliament unless they agreed to get married. That sounded like the plot to a Disney movie, not something that could actually happen. 

“No,” James reached up to run a hand through his hair and then froze, remembering that he had it styled. “It’s not a funny thing to ask. We’re going to _Fratelli Gemelli._”

Lily nodded. She had been to the Italian restaurant before. It was one of those places that you had to have a reservation for months in advance. “You know ‘Fratelli Gemelli’ means ‘twin brothers’ right?” 

“Yes,” James nodded. “It only sounds good in Italian. But it’s a nice place and they’re setting up a private room that runs parallel to the street. It’ll be a nice photo for the public.” 

“Do you think that the men who started the shop were actually twins?” Lily asked, turning to look out the window. It was snowing. How strange. It hadn’t snowed since before Christmas. 

James was looking at her, she could tell, but she kept looking out the window. “It’s snowing,” She said quietly. 

“Yeah,” James’ voice was quiet as well. “I don’t know who started the restaurant.” 

They were quiet and James started to tap his knee up and down. Lily wondered how she would feel if this was real. She looked over at James, who was staring down at his hands, his brow furrowed. What if she was in love with this man, and not just pretending for the cameras? What if he had spent weeks planning all this out? Would she know that he was going to purpose? Would he have asked her Gran for permission? Called her mum maybe? 

She would have thought the snow falling from the sky romantic. She wouldn’t have liked that it was public. 

But it wasn’t real. He hadn’t even met her mum. She hadn’t met his parents either.

Lily bit down on her tongue. “What are your parents like?” She blurted out, and James’ leg stopped tapping and he turned to look at her. His eyes were wide. “There’s just a lot I still don’t know about you. We’re getting engaged, I feel like I should have met them.” She shrugged and then felt the desire to sink back into the seat. 

James cleared his throat. “You’ll meet them soon.” He reached his hand up again and this time Lily caught it. 

“I’m not sure styling your hair was a good call.” 

“I am going to ruin it.” He agreed. “They’re nice. They’ll like you.” 

“That’s not a lot of information.” 

“Tell me about your mum,” He countered. 

“She’s… difficult.” She offered. 

“Mum’s been arrested during five different protests.”

“My mum has been married to about five different people.” James let out a breath.

“So, you meant a different kind of difficult.” Lily nodded. 

“I suppose it was only three people, but still. She was married to Petunia’s dad for a year, and then my dad in secret for almost two years, and then a man named Adam for almost seven years, and now she’s with Petunia’s dad again.” Lily didn’t like talking about this, but she also didn’t like James not knowing why she didn’t like talking about it. 

“That’s a lot of change for two little girls.” 

Lily shrugged. “Adam was nice, but I don’t remember much about him. He was in the army so we didn’t see him much. Mum started up again with Petunia’s dad, David, a couple years before I found out that I was a princess.” 

“Ah,” James nodded, and Lily wasn’t sure how she felt about the fact that he sounded as though he understood where she was going with this. 

“So now I live here, and they all live back in Cokesworth, and I don’t really know David and my mum talks to Petunia almost every day and she doesn’t answer most of my calls. She emails me.” Her eyes started stinging. “It’s like she wanted a do over and just pushed me out of the picture.” 

James reached for her hand and wrapped it in his own. 

The car was winding through Main Street now, and she knew that they only had a few minutes before they reached the restaurant.

“I know that you didn’t want to share that with me a few days ago,” James said, and Lily squeezed his hand. “So, thank you for trusting me with that.” There was more, there was so much more, but now wasn’t the time to start all that. “I’m sorry that they made you feel like that.” 

Lily shook her head and forced herself to smile. “I think this is where we make a joke or else, I’ll start crying. I don’t know why I blurted that out now. I just-” She shook her head again and clenched her jaw. “I don’t know.” 

“You want us to know each other.” James offered, which was true. She was pretty sure that was what had prompted her to ask him about his parents. She just wasn’t sure why she then word vomited about her own. Though knowing someone generally means allowing them to know you as well. “Can I ask you a question about Mary?” 

Lily nodded. Questions about Mary seemed safe. 

“She said something about being in school. Is she taking classes online or somewhere nearby?” 

That was definitely a safe question. Her smile softened. “No, Mary is simply the greatest friend in the world, so she took the semester off so that she could be here with me for all of this. I told her that she didn’t have to of course, but then she said that she wasn’t even doing it for me, she just wasn’t of a mind to miss so many balls.” 

James laughed. “And Reginald is a real person?” 

“He’ll be here next weekend for my birthday party and then you’ll wish he wasn’t a real person because the two of them are sickeningly in love with one another.” 

The car stopped. 

Lily looked out the window. The streets weren’t crowded by any means, the weather had been fine this morning when they had been running around on the court, but the wind had picked up since then, and the snow was coming down a bit faster now. January was not a time for window shopping. 

James took a deep breath and Lily squeezed his hand again. “There’s no need to be so nervous,” She grinned, though her heart was beating quickly in her chest. “I’m going to say ‘yes,’” 

“Way to spoil it for me,” James teased, but it was half-hearted, and he was back to looking at his shoes. She tugged on his hand and he turned to look at her. 

“You don’t have to do this,” She reminded him. “We can go back to the house if you want. I’m not going to make you follow through with this if you’ve changed your mind.” A lot had happened since she’d last asked him if he still wanted to do this, and she thought it would be fair if he had changed his mind, all his joking aside. 

He narrowed his eyes slightly and looked at her for an agonizingly long minute. She started chewing on her lip, thinking that perhaps he was just trying to come up with the right wording to let her down. Her heart thumped painfully. 

“Lily,” His voice was a bit rough now and Lily had to force her gaze to meet his again. She could already feel the tears forming and willed them to keep their distance. She had no reason to cry other than frustration anyway. Finding someone new at this point would be very difficult. 

“Lily,” He repeated, and she realized that she had looked away again. She looked back up at him and pressed her lips together. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

There was a weight to his words that she hadn’t expected, and it meant something to her that she wasn’t ready for. She blinked quickly and looked down at their hands, determined to keep from crying. 

“Alright,” She said, knowing her voice gave her away but pretending that it didn’t. “I just wanted to check. I mean, I’ve told you before that I don’t want you to feel like you have to-”

“I heard you the first time. If you still want me here, then I’m not going anywhere.” 

She was sure that if he wasn’t holding her hand, it would be shaking. She had her other hand buried in the pocket of her coat. “Thank you,” She nodded. “I do want you here.” 

When she looked up at him, he was smiling. “I know, I heard you the first time.” 

She squeezed his hand this time to tell him to stop teasing her, but she didn’t mean it. “Alright, then. Now that we’ve got that straightened out, let’s get this show on the road.” 

“Wait.” Lily looked out the window, Moody was standing with his back to the door, watching the street and waiting for them to come out of the car. 

“What?” Lily asked, turning back. 

“What are we going to do after I propose?” 

Lily blinked, “What?” 

“What is our reaction going to be, what is going to come next?”

She started to shrug her shoulders but then she caught onto what he was trying to ask without actually asking. “I don’t want to kiss you in front of a bunch of cameras, if that’s what you’re asking.” And all the nerves and anxiety she’d been feeling thus far fused into one giant feeling of discomfort and she was sure that her voice sounded as though she’d just inhaled helium. She certainly felt like she was lacking some oxygen. 

“Alright, Emma just mentioned-”

“Emma didn’t mention anything about kissing.” 

James raised his brow. “You do know that we’re going to have to kiss at our wedding, right?” 

“Yes, but there won’t be any press there.” Lily was probably squeezing his hand too tightly, but he didn’t say anything about it. “And this is entirely for the press and the public. We’re staging this for them, I’m not going to kiss you _for them._” 

Something about his smile turned mischievous. “Oh? And what do your qualifiers mean? What would you kiss me for?” 

Lily opened her mouth, but then realized that she didn’t want to dignify his jesting with a response. She just rolled her eyes and started to open her door. Moody quickly opened it the rest of the way and held out his hand to help her out of the car. 

“I was starting to think you two weren’t going to come out and that I had driven all the way out here for nothing.” 

“Sorry about the wait.” She said, taking a deep breath of the crisp cold hair and looking up into the sky so that the snowflakes could melt on her cheeks. She had never minded the cold. Though the wind on her bare legs wasn’t fantastic. 

“Not a problem, your highness.” He had a look on his face that Lily didn’t understand, but she had enough on her mind at the moment, so she didn’t ask what he was thinking. It was probably something about her, and she didn’t want to hear it just then. 

James offered her his arm and then they were heading into the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave a review!


	15. Chapter 15

Lily felt a bit awkward when they got inside, because she knew that they’d cleared out the front room for them last minute, and that this wasn’t the kind of place that you could get last minute reservations for. They were all so polite, but she couldn’t help but think that if she worked here and someone had called in like James or Emma had, she would be annoyed. 

There was one table set in front of a large fireplace. The window overlooking the street was across from them, and she thought back to the Hallmark movies she and Mary had spent all of the previous month watching. It felt cozy in the room, cozy and intimate and romantic, especially with the snow swirling around outside the window. 

There were candles and the chairs were not seated directly across from one another but not exactly right next to one another either. 

It was a perfect set. 

“I’m very impressed,” She said quietly. 

“Yeah, they pulled this together very fast and perfectly.” He stepped behind her. “Let me take your coat for you,” He said, and Lily shrugged out of her coat, the heat from the fire doing plenty to keep her warm. She started toward the table and then James was there to pull out her chair for her. She looked up at him before taking a seat. 

He cleared his throat, “That’s a nice dress.” 

She looked down at it and smiled. “Thank you, Mary picked it out for me.” 

“Of course, she did.” James walked around to his chair and took a seat. 

A waiter appeared with a bottle of wine before Lily could ask him what he’d meant by that and James started speaking with him about wine and Lily didn’t really follow the conversation. She knew that she preferred white and that she didn’t really like wine all that much, but she’d drink it to be polite. 

She smiled at the waiter as he poured her a glass and then he was gone, and James took a drink before she tried it. It was red and didn’t make her mouth feel too dry, so she would probably finish it. 

“What are you thinking?” James asked, and Lily sighed. 

“Honestly?”

“No, I’d like you to lie to me.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m thinking about Hallmark movies. This feels like a Hallmark movie set and you look like a lead.” There were no Christmas decorations, but she stood by her statement. “What we’re here to do seems like the set up to a Hallmark movie. After this we’ll need to have a snowball fight or go ice skating- _and then _have a snowball fight. Wrap it all up with some hot chocolate and some mistletoe that no one knew was there,” She grinned and took another sip of her wine. 

“It sounds as though you’ve watched a fair few of these movies.”

“And you sound as though you’ve never watched one of them.” 

James shrugged. “I don’t think that I have.” 

Lily gasped and leaned forward. “Blasphemy.” 

“Is it really?” 

“We’re going to have to rectify that. We’ll have a movie marathon later in the week. Or next weekend. Whenever we have time.”

“You want to watch Christmas movies in January?” 

“I’m a grown up, I can do whatever I want.” This was decidedly untrue, given her current situation, but on this count, it was entirely true. “Hallmark movies are less of a seasonal thing and more of a spirit anyway. If there’s snow on the ground, you can watch them.” 

James didn’t look convinced. 

“You have to watch at least one.” She pressed. “If you hate it, then I’ll probably make you watch another one, but still…” He laughed and she reached for a wine again. 

“I’m not against watching one,” He shrugged. “So, I suppose we can do that.” 

“We are. We’ll eat Christmas biscuits and have hot chocolate and-”

“And that sounds like a date,” He interrupted, and she rolled her eyes. 

“We’re literally on a date to get engaged, right now, James. That’s not going to work.” 

“What are you talking about? What’s not going to work?” He looked entirely too innocent and Lily had to fight the urge to roll her eyes again. 

“You’re trying to get out of watching Hallmark movies by making me feel weird about terminology and whatnot,” She waved her hand at him and looked over their table. She felt like they should have some bread on the table or something. 

“Terminology?” James laughed again. 

“Yes, I was too honest with you about everything. I should have kept some of that to myself, I think. We’re watching the movies.” 

“We could watch literally anything else.” 

“We can also watch anything else, but we’re going to watch at least three of my favorites,” She bit her bottom lip and looked up, trying to think about what some of her favorites were. “I tend to like the ones where royalty is involved actually. I don’t know what that’s says about me, but also anything that includes a bakery or the entire town pretending that they don’t all work for Santa Clause-”

“Hold on, I think my grasp on what a Hallmark movie is, is vastly incorrect.” 

“It’ll blow your mind.” Lily grinned and a waiter walked out, bringing them a basket of bread and a bowl of butter. “Amazing,” Her smile widened. “Thank you so much,” The waiter nodded, his cheeks slightly red and then he bowed and disappeared. 

“Careful with that,” James sounded as though he was about to tease her, so she looked away from the bread long enough for him to continue. “That smile of yours, it’s too powerful for you to just throw at unsuspecting wait staff like that.” 

She picked up a breadstick and pointed it at him. “You sir,” She wagged it a bit. “Are very good at flirting.” Then she looked over her shoulder at the door the waiter had rushed out of. “Though, yes, he did look a bit flustered, didn’t he?” James laughed. 

“You’re very hard to compliment, you know that?” 

“No I’m not,” Lily scoffed. “I love having people say nice things about me.” He laughed again. “Alright, I see what you mean. If your intention is to make me blush or murmur a bashful thanks, then yes, I’m rather hard to compliment. You’re not though. I’ve seen you blush quite a few times.”

“You have not.” 

She scoffed again, “I have so. Though it’s normally because of something _you_ say. And you blushed when I complimented your hair in front of your friends.”

“Well I’ve seen you blush as well,” He countered. Lily nodded.

“Yes, but I blush because of things Mary puts in my head, or because I’m overthinking things.”

“Not because I tell you that you’re pretty.” 

“No.” She shook her head. “I think I blushed when you told me that you thought I would be a good queen though.” James nodded, looking thoughtful. 

“Alright, I’ll change my approach.” He almost ran a hand through his hair again and swore when he lowered it back to the table. 

“Why did you style it today?” She asked, her voice full of concealed laughter. 

“Because I kept hearing my mum nagging me as I was getting ready.” He sighed. “‘_Really James Potter? Did I raise you to look as though you’ve just rolled out of bed when you propose marriage?’_”

Lily laughed and shook her head, her heart only sort of skipping at the mention of marriage. Which was ridiculous, she should have been used to that concept by now. “I can’t say for certain, because I’ve never met her, but I’m sure that was a spot-on impression of your mother.” 

James sighed and took a drink of his wine. “Sometimes I listen to her. Tonight, was one of those nights.” 

“If Mary was here, she’d make a comment about how looking as though you just rolled out of bed wouldn’t be a bad thing.” 

“Oh, I’m sure she’d be more explicit than that.” He grinned. 

They continued their easy conversation through the meal, teasing back and forth and for a long time, Lily forgot that there were people watching them outside the window. She didn’t look for them once, she didn’t feel as though they were watching her over her shoulder. She just let herself have a nice time with James and the breadbasket that seemed to magically fill itself. 

And then they brought out dessert and Lily realized that he was probably going to do it rather soon. She bit the tip of her tongue and looked down at her fruit tart that was not as appetizing to her as the bread was. But she picked up her fork and took a bite anyway. 

“Are you upset that they didn’t bring us something with chocolate on it?” James asked, taking a bite of his tart. 

Lily gave him a small smile and shrugged. “I’m not going to pretend that I wouldn’t prefer chocolate. But also, I just remembered that people are watching us.” 

“I’m not going to ask in here.” James said, looking toward the window, the first time either one of them had since they had sat down. 

“No?” She raised her brow. “This was your idea though, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, but I feel like they’ve all caught on by now. I think I want to throw them for a bit of a loop.” 

Lily pressed her lips together intrigued and once again feeling as though James was her partner against the reporters. “Alright. So, what’s the new plan.”

“Oh, I think I want to keep it a surprise for you as well.” 

Lily frowned. “No. I don’t like surprises. I’ve told you this.” 

“I know, but I want you to look genuinely surprised.” 

Lily shook her head. “Emma is not going to like that you changed the plans. She wanted this to happen today.”

“I know. I’ll tell her that I was the one who changed the plans.”

Lily looked at him and remembered the look on his face when they had been about to get out of the car.

“I’m not having second thoughts, I just had a better idea than clichély proposing to you in a fancy restaurant.” 

“Alright.” Lily nodded and took another bite of her dessert. It was mainly pears. 

They finished up fairly quickly, and then they were walking back through the restaurant, Lily holding his arm. “Why don’t we walk down the street to that confectionary shop? Grab some chocolate for our movie night?” 

“Well then the movie night will have to be tonight, because if we get chocolate today, I will eat it today.” Lily agreed, tightening her coat around her and then stepping closer to James as they walked through the doors to the street. 

The snow was still coming down, but it was back to falling lightly to the ground. The sun was starting to set, so the sky was more pink than blue or grey and the lights that had not yet been taken down were starting to turn on. The street looked charmed. 

“We can have a movie night tonight then.” James smiled at her. “Or I can hide the chocolate from you.”

“You can try, but I’ll find it. Have you had anything from this shop before? It’s amazing and everything smells wonderful.” 

“So you’d come and sniff around my room until you found it?” 

“You’d really hide it in your room? Such an obvious choice.” 

“It wouldn’t be under my mattress or anything. You wouldn’t find it.” 

Lily narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, “You know that that’s not true. I would find it.” James chuckled and nodded. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

The shop wasn’t busy, though a few people did follow them in and everyone who had been in the shop moved to the walls and watched them. Lily smiled and waved at a few people, and then tried not to get nervous when people started taking out their phones to take pictures. 

James distracted her with a fancy box of peppermint chocolate, and she forgot about the phones pointed in her direction. “Does peppermint fit with the Hallmark movie theme?” 

She smiled widely and nodded her head, “Yes, we’ll get some of those.” 

He tapped the top of the box and then moved to the next shelf. Lily found herself watching him instead of looking around the shop. He looked over every single item on the shelf with much more thought and consideration than Lily thought was necessary. It was chocolate. Everything was good. 

They picked out a few more things and Lily said a few more hellos to the people in the shop and then they purchased their goods and went back out onto the street. 

Moody took their bags for them and then James took her hand. 

“How much do you hate surprises?” James asked when they were almost back to the car. Lily turned toward him, giving him a look, but then she sighed. She didn’t know what his surprises would be like, but she was sure that they wouldn’t be terrible like Mary jumping out of her closet and scaring her out of her pants, or her Grandmother cornering her in her office and telling her things that she didn’t want to hear right before meeting with all of parliament. 

“I don’t _hate _surprises. Not good ones anyway. I hate being surprised by my Gran and Mary, because they never have _good _surprises.” 

James nodded, still looking ahead. He had that look on his face again, the one that she saw before they got out of the car. He had assured her that that face didn’t meant that he was thinking about changing his mind, so she didn’t know what it meant, but it made her nervous. 

He tapped his fingers on the back of her hand and then let go of her hand. She looked at him to make sure that he wasn’t about to mess up his hair, he could wait until they were in the car to do that, they were almost there. He just smiled at her and she smiled back before looking back in front of her. Moody was walking ahead of them with their bags.

“Are you dead set on surprising me with something?” She asked, “And can I ask you what it is? I know that defeats the purpose of a surprise, but still,” She shrugged and shoulder and glanced over, but he wasn’t next to her anymore. 

Lily knew what he was doing as soon as she realized that he was now behind her. She knew that when she turned around, he would be down on one knee, holding up a ring box while the lights around them glowed and the sky shone pink and the snow drifted softly to the ground. 

She felt the snow crunch under her shows as she turned around and was surprised to find that tears had sprung to her eyes. 

_This isn’t real._

She reminded herself, but that did nothing to stop the tears, because she wanted this moment to be real. Maybe not now, and perhaps not with James, but she wanted some boy to look at her from one knee, with the snow and the lights and the pink sky, and ask her to marry him. James had picked the perfect spot on the street, and he’d waited until they were out in the snow after listening to her prattle on about Hallmark movies, and his ears were red and she was sure that it wasn’t from the cold. 

It all looked real. It all _could _have been real. Maybe if she’d met him earlier, before she knew that she’d have to have an arranged marriage. If the pressure was gone, if there weren’t so many people building up a story about the two of them, if she didn’t feel like this was her only chance and also like she no longer had a choice. 

James was fantastic. He made her laugh and he matched her step for step. He challenged her and encouraged her and made silly promises, but then he kept them. He held her accountable and gave her second chances. He kept her secrets and asked her to keep his. 

Her heart lurched and she covered her mouth with her hand. 

It could have been real.

If they had more time. 

“Hey, Lily,” He said softly, the blush spreading to his cheeks. He was nervous and Lily found it terribly endearing. “I don’t know what you were expecting, but I did prepare something to say. I’ve been trying to keep it straight in my head all day but every time you smile at me, my head goes kind of empty so I’m just going to have to wing it anyway.” She pulled her hand away from her mouth and clasped it with the other one over her heart. “I’ll keep it short, I promise.” 

Lily bit her lip. “Lily, I’ve never met anyone as thoughtful and kind and giving as you are. You are always thinking about the people around you, thinking about how you can help them, how you can make life easier for them, to the point where you forget about yourself sometimes. 

You are full of resolve and passion, and you make me feel a bit like anything is possible whenever I’m with you and that’s not a feeling that I want to let go of. Ever. Lily, will you do me the honor of taking me to be your husband?” His voice sounded a little shaky at the end there. Lily knew that her face was probably very red at the moment, despite her make up. She’d just told him how to make her blush today, and he’d gone and used it against her already. 

She looked over his face before she started nodding. “Yes,” She said quietly, unclasping her hands so she could reach out to him and pull him up off his knee. She hadn’t even looked at the ring yet, but she needed to hug him immediately. “Yes, of course.” She added, her voice just as quiet as she laced her arms around James neck and buried her face in his neck. 

She shouldn’t have been surprised. They had been given instructions to get engaged today. But when she’d thought about how he was going to do it, she hadn’t thought he’d give a little speech first. She hadn’t thought he’d say such nice things about her. 

James laughed, his chest rumbling against her ear. His arms tightened around her. “I have to put the ring on your finger, Lily.” He reminded her. 

“In a moment.” She said, keeping her arms tight around him. It felt good to be wrapped up in his arms, to be cocooned against his chest. She could feel his breath against her neck when he spoke, and it sent a chill down her spine. 

“In a moment then,” He pulled her closer and kissed the side of her head. Lily responded by turning her head and kissing his shoulder. It might have been a weird thing to do, since she was basically just kissing his coat, but she would hyper fixate on that later. 

“Alright,” She said after a moment. “Alright, I didn’t even look at the ring,” James laughed. “Let me see it.” She pulled away and wiped at her eyes carefully. She looked at him to find his eyes searching her face. He reached out and wiped a tear off her cheek. 

“It was my grandmother’s ring.” He said, opening the box again. “She was married for nearly seventy years, so I figured it’s rather lucky.” 

“Seventy years?” That was a long time. She looked at the ring and smiled. It wasn’t very large, and it was clearly older, but it was perfect in every way. There were small diamonds encircling the band and a larger, square emerald set on a diagonal as the centerpiece of the ring. “It’s beautiful,” He picked up the ring from its place in the velvet box and then tucked the empty box in his pocket before reaching for her hand. He took a deep breath and then slid the ring onto her finger. She watched his face as he did so. She wasn’t certain, but she thought she saw something settle in him when the ring was in place. 

“It’s a perfect fit,” He declared, looking up at her. “And it matches your eyes.” 

If she smiled any wider, her face would split in two. 

And then the people who had watched this scene unfold started clapping and cheering and Lily physically felt her bubble being popped. She could pinpoint the exact second that her smile became, not entirely fake, but no longer genuine. No longer for James. 

How had she managed to forget that her and James had not been the only two people on the street? Why had she reacted like she had if she hadn’t been doing it for the onlookers? She bit the tip of her tongue, but kept her smile in place. 

Mary was going to give her so much shit for this. Because of course she was going to tell her. She couldn’t wait to get back to the castle now, lock herself in Mary’s room and try and sort all this out. 

But she couldn’t lock herself in there all night. Because she’d told James that they could spend the night watching Hallmark movies and stuffing their faces with chocolate. And no matter how she was feeling just then, she couldn’t blow him off, not again. Definitely not on purpose. 

James started waving and thanking the people nearby for their well-wishes and Lily followed in suit. She made a joke about being dazed and no one commented on how she’d just stood there doing nothing for a moment. They must have thought she had been admiring her ring.

James was soon leading her back to the car, her hand tucked tightly in his and she wondered if his smile was as real as it looked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And there we have it! Two chapters and they're officially engaged! 
> 
> Leave me some reviews pls and thx


	16. Chapter 16

“Your place or mine?” James asked, and he was still holding her hands as they walked up the stairs. He hadn’t done that in a while, not since before they’d had their conversation about expectations and all that. 

So it’d been an entire day. Apparently, Lily thought an entire day was a long time now.

“Very cute,” She said, cutting him a look. “And Mary lost the remote to my tv, so I think we should head to yours.” 

“She lost it?” He laughed. He was in an awfully good mood. He didn’t look at all confused. How nice for him.

“Yeah, that made it sound awfully tame, didn’t it?” Lily shook her head. “She got angry about something we were watching the other day and threw it out my window. I don’t think she meant to throw it out the window,” James was laughing again. “But I need to get a new one. And I need to stop letting her come in my room.” 

“Alright, then we can use my room. She’s yet to do anything to my remote.” He squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back but then let go. She wasn’t ready for this just yet.

“I think I’d like to change first. Get a few of my hairpins out and clean my face.” She looked over her shoulder. “Also I need to find Moody and find out where the chocolate is…”

“I’ll find the chocolate. I’ll see you when you’re ready, yeah?” She nodded and gave him a small smile. He stepped forward and kissed her temple before he spun back around to go toward the car. 

Lily blinked after him and then headed toward her room in a daze. 

Mary wasn’t in her room when she got there. She pulled out her phone and texted her, falling backward onto her bed and kicking off her shoes as she did. 

Lily: Where are you?

Mary: My room, why?

Lily: I’m officially engaged. 

Lily was sure that she imagined the scream she heard down the hall. 

She definitely did not imagine her door crashing open however, “Tell me _everything_.” 

Mary flopped down on the bed beside her and Lily sat up. “I’m too tired to tell you everything. And I don’t have time to tell you everything right now. I’ve got to go and meet James in a few minutes. 

Mary’s brows were raised, and she was all but vibrating, but she asked, “Oh? And why are you meeting up with James in a few minutes?” 

“I’m not going to go and mess up his hair, Mary.” She sighed, reaching up and pulling pins out of her own hair. Her newly adorn ring snagged in her hair and that caught Mary’s attention. She yanked her hand over so she could inspect it. 

“It’s lovely. And I’m sure you’ll mess up his hair sooner or later.” This was said in a consoling tone. Lily rolled her eyes.

Lily was quiet for a minute, and instead of thinking that she was working up the nerve to tell her that she’d already been the reason, Mary just let her gather her thoughts. “It was sort of the perfect proposal.” She bit her lip. “It all felt a little too… real?”

Mary nodded and her smile dropped. She sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears. “What do you mean?” 

So Lily did her best to explain herself. She told her about the Hallmark movies and the chocolate and James’ smiling and hand holding and how easy it was to talk to him and how he’d changed his plans of how he was going to propose after listening to her go on about how much she loved cheesie movies and whatnot.

She didn’t say anything after she’d stopped talking either, because she knew Lily wasn’t done yet. Sometimes Mary was pretty great. 

“James seems pretty perfect, right?” Mary shrugged. 

“Seems like you might be thinking that. Is that a bad thing? I mean, you are marrying him.” Mary said this calmly, with no double meaning or innuendo. 

Lily sighed and ran her hands through her hair as she took out the last of her pins. “You know what I kept thinking tonight? That James and I could have had something real if things had happened differently. If we had met under normal circumstances. Like if he’d asked me to dance at a ball and made a witty remark about how terrible at dancing I am. Or if we’d met at uni, or after I’d become the queen because that stupid law didn’t exist.” She tossed her coat onto her desk and then reached for the zipper on the back of her dress as she walked into her closet. 

“Again, none of that sounds like a bad thing. If you like him- which I’m not saying that you do- but if you do, doesn’t that make this all easier?”

“No!” Lily stepped out of her dress and pulled on a pair of pajamas. “No, it doesn’t make things easier.”

“So you do-”

“Yes, Mary, I think I like him.” 

“You think?” 

“I do. Alright, I do like him! Which would have been nice to know before he was proposing to me, but there you have it. My fiancé is pretty great and I’m completely thick and last night I basically gave him the ‘we should just be friends’ talk.” 

“Idiot.” Mary muttered. 

Lily didn’t want to look at Mary to see her ‘I told you so’ face, but she looked anyway. Instead, Mary was giving her a very confused face. “Then what are you so upset about? I mean, clearly the boy-”

“Stop.” Lily shook her head. “Don’t tell me that ‘clearly James’ anything, because it’s not clear. He’s here because I picked him out of a stack of names, if some other girl had called his name, he’d be there instead. He didn’t choose this, same as I didn’t. So, maybe I fancy him a bit, but that doesn’t make anything better because I’m still stuck in a situation that I don’t want to be in. Things could be worse, I know that, I’m lucky to be marrying someone that I enjoy spending time with, but things could be a lot better too.” 

Mary nodded, “I want to sit here and complain about how you love to make things more difficult than they are, but I can’t do that. If someone told me that Reggie was my only option, he’d be a lot less appealing to me. I get it. As much as I can anyway.” 

Lily nodded, glad that Mary wasn’t going to argue with her just then. She was sure that it’d come later, but she was too tired to argue properly right then. She still had to go and see James in his room. For the second night in a row. 

She almost laughed out loud when she thought about how they’d talked about what their expectations were last night, and how different things were already. 

She shook her head instead, not wanting to invite anymore questions. She walked into the bathroom to clean her face and then walked back out and grabbed her phone. James had texted her.

James Potter: Should I be getting hot chocolate as well? Or is that too much chocolate?

Lily Evans: There is no such thing as too much chocolate. I’ll grab it, you don’t know the right way to make it.

James Potter: You don’t know that

Lily Evans: I just have a gut feeling

She slid her phone into her pocket and looked up at Mary, who was still giving her a soft, sort of careful look. “I’m fine,” She said, tucking back a lock of her hair. “I’m not going to fall apart or anything. Tonight was just weird.”

“The pictures aren’t out yet.” 

Lily nodded, “I’m sure they’ll be up soon.” She started toward her door, but then paused with her hand on the knob. “You want to know the strangest thing? I wasn’t even thinking about how many people were watching us, I wasn’t looking for the reporters or listening for the cameras. I was just _there_.” She shook her head and then walked out of the room. 

She was almost done with the hot chocolate when she heard footsteps on the spiral staircase behind her. 

“I’m almost done,” She said without turning around, assuming that James had grown impatient and come to find her. 

“Oh, don’t rush on my account,” Lily almost jumped at the sound of Bertram’s voice. She hadn’t seen him in a couple of days. His smile seemed to lack some of its usual shine and his hair was a mess. How strange that tonight James’ hair wasn’t a mess and Bertram’s was. 

“Good evening, Bertram.” 

“Evening, Lily.” He walked over to the stove and put a kettle on before walking over to find himself a mug. “It’s been a while.” 

“It has. How is your uncle?” 

“He’s fine,” Bertram shrugged. “Did your sister enjoy the rest of her stay?” 

“She did.” She nodded. 

“I hear that congratulations are in order.” She looked over at him and saw that he was looking at the ring on her left hand. She’d been playing with it while she worked on the hot chocolate. If he really had heard, then that meant the pictures were out. Lily wasn’t sure that she wanted to see them just yet.

“Well, thank you.” She said, even though he hadn’t really congratulated her. 

“Yeah, it’s a pretty ring.” 

“It was his grandmother’s ring. She was married for seventy years.” She smiled down at the ring for a moment and then looked back at her tray. She was just waiting for the milk to warm up enough to melt the chocolate and then she’d be ready to leave. She had marshmallows and whipped cream and candy canes as well. 

“Seventy years is a long time.” He didn’t say that like it was a good thing.

“Yes,” Lily nodded, deciding that they needed pretzels to cut through all the sweets. “I think it’s good luck.” 

“I suppose you could see it that way.” He shrugged. He was looking through tea bags now, not looking at her. She bit her tongue and looked over his profile for a moment. 

“Are you alright?” She asked quietly. 

He looked over at her and his smile was false. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be.” 

“I don’t know.” 

He nodded at the tray, “You and Mary celebrating?” 

Lily looked back at the tray and felt her phone buzz in her pocket. “Um, no.” She pulled her phone out. 

James Potter: I feel like I have to admit that I would have made the hot chocolate wrong if it takes this long

Lily Evans: It’s a test of patience. Five minutes

She pocketed her phone. 

“Ah,” He nodded, as though that had answered his question. “He’s managed to seduce you then.” Lily narrowed her brow, but kept her gaze on her own kettle. 

“What? No, he hasn’t.” But she should have responded with something else, because this just made Bertram turn to face her. 

“Oh?”

“We’re friends.” She shrugged, still looking at the kettle. “And we’re getting married, so we’re spending time together, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” She looked at him, realizing that she shouldn’t have added the question at the end there. 

“I don’t know, is it? Do you _want _to spend time with him, or do you feel like you have to?” He motioned to her ring. “Do you _want _to spend the next seventy years with him?” 

She felt like she’d just been slapped. “Why are you being mean?” She asked, opening the lid of her kettle and stirring the milk. It was a solid chocolatey color now and so she picked up the kettle and set it on her trey. 

“I’m not being mean, I’m just asking you what you want. Apparently no one else will.” 

Lily clenched her fists at her side and then reached up to grab the handles of the tray. “It’s none of your business what I want.” 

She started walking away with the tray. “It’s just a shame is all,” He said, but she didn’t stop walking. She was to the stairs when she heard him say. “It’s a shame that he’s not what you want.”

It was quite a task to knock on James’ door, she had to balance the tray to do so, but he opened it rather quickly and laughed when he saw how overboard she had gone with everything. She smiled at him as he took the tray, trying to get Bertram’s voice out of her head. She hadn’t seen him in days, and that was how he greeted her? After the day she’d had, that was the last thing she needed from him. 

“Now I see why it took so long.” 

Lily shook her head. “Heating up the milk and melting the chocolate takes the longest. I collected all the extras while I was waiting.” 

“Pretzels?” He asked, looking over the goodies. “I’ve never had pretzels with hot chocolate before.” 

“They aren’t really for the hot chocolate, they’re just a non-sweet snack.” She shrugged. 

“Ah, good thinking.” He set the tray down on the coffee table in front of the tv and then sat back against the couch. He’d been busy too it seems. There were pillows and blankets covering the couch, and she knew that it hadn’t been like that yesterday. 

He’d also laid out all the chocolate they’d brought from the confectionary and found a bottle of champagne and two flutes. She looked at the alcohol and then at him. He shrugged and then laughed. 

“We just got engaged, I think we’re allowed champagne.” Lily conceded and then fell onto the couch as well. She tugged a soft blanket up around her legs and then reached for the remote. 

“Alright, let’s see what I can find.” She didn’t bother going to any streaming service or the Hallmark app that she and Mary had subscribed to last month, because she knew that the Hallmark channel was still playing Christmas movies, despite it being the middle of January. She clicked to the channel she had memorized. 

James was looking at her while she looked over their options. “Oh, there’s a dog in this one.” She said, clicking on it and rewinding so they could watch it from the beginning. He was still looking at her. “What’s up?” She asked, turning to look at him. “You haven’t even poured the hot chocolate yet.” 

“I just,” He started and then closed his eyes and leaned forward to pour the hot chocolate. “I wanted to talk about what happened this evening.” She raised her brow and paused the movie, even though she really wanted to use the movie as an excuse for why they _couldn’t _talk just then. 

He handed her a mug. She let the warmth seep into her hands and then took a breath. “You want to talk about the engagement?” She tapped her fingers against the side of the mug and the ring she now wore made a clinking sound. 

“Yeah,” He nodded, looking at her fingers, though he couldn’t see the ring from where he was sitting. He opened his mouth and then shut it again. “I just wanted to let you know that I meant everything I said. I said what I said for you.” 

She took a sip from her mug and nodded. “Thank you.” And then she cringed. He laughed and she looked over at him. 

“You’re welcome,”

“Piss off,” She muttered. “But I could tell that you weren’t reading some script or anything. It wasn’t like there were people close enough to hear us. And clearly you took advantage of me telling you how to make me blush just hours before, but I forgive you for that.” Did her voice sound weird? Was she making sense? Her brain felt like it was trying to function from within a puddle. 

He chuckled again and nodded, “Yes, that’s clearly what I wanted to talk about. I was very worried that you wouldn’t forgive me for making you blush.” He was still looking at her and she was still looking at him and he still looked like he had more to say, but neither of them were saying anything. 

“You clearly have something on your mind.” Lily said after another moment of silence.

“I do.” 

“Well, it’s probably best to just spit it out.” 

“Probably.” 

More silence. “James,”

“It’s easier said than done.” 

“Yes, but it’s getting late and we still have a movie to watch. We can’t just stare at each other all night.” James sighed and let his head fall back against the couch, now looking up at the ceiling instead of at her. Then he sat up and looked at her again, pulling his legs up on the couch. 

“I feel like we had a moment today.” He said, and Lily waited for more, but he didn’t say anything more. So she nodded. 

“Probably a few.” She agreed, because there was no point in lying. She was trying to remain honest with him after all. 

“What were you thinking?” He asked. “When I pulled out the ring, I mean. I couldn’t read the look on your face.” 

He hadn’t expected the tears. Neither had she. 

Lily bit her tongue. 

_It’s a shame that he’s not what you want._

That hadn’t been what she was thinking. She shook her head. “I was thinking a lot of things of course. You picked the perfect place to do it, that’s for sure.” 

James quirked a brow. “That lets me know almost nothing.” 

Lily gave him half a smile and then ran a hand through her hair. His hair was still neat, she wondered how he’d managed that. “Alright, I thought about how that was the only proposal I would get, and how it was like you’d picked it out of a movie. I was thinking about how the sky was pink and how people still had their Christmas lights up on their shops. I was thinking about how even though it looked perfect, it wasn’t real. I was thinking about how nice it would be if it was real. I was thinking about how either one of us were interchangeable to that moment. If I’d picked someone else, they would have proposed to me and if someone else had drawn your card sooner, you would have proposed to them instead. I was thinking about how wonderful you are and how lucky I am, and how I should have known what you were going on about when you first mentioned a surprise.” 

His brows were far up his forehead when she stopped speaking and she let out a huff of laughter. “I told you it was a lot.”

He took a breath in through his nose and nodded slowly. “Can I offer a rebuttal?” 

Lily frowned, “I’m not sure that makes much sense here, but I’ll allow it.” 

“That proposal was real.” He countered, his voice firm and his eyes set on hers with an intensity that she wasn’t used to. “You keep saying things like that, and I understand why, but I don’t agree with you. Someone else could have drawn my card, or you could have picked up someone else's' profile, but you didn’t and we’re here together making choices that are going to affect the life that we share.” She opened her mouth to argue and he shook his head and pressed on. 

“I didn’t have to propose tonight. You made that clear. And you didn’t have to say yes. My proposing and you accepting makes things easier for the both of us in this moment of our lives, but it is not our only choice. I didn’t say anything that I didn’t mean, I didn’t make any promises that I can’t keep. We may not be in this for love, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real.” 

She had to stop herself from nodding along, because while she agreed with what he was saying, she didn’t want him to think that she was taking it lightly. He had missed her point. Their not being in love was the point. She knew that this was still real, but it still wasn’t what she wanted. 

_It’s a shame that he’s not what you want._

Lily bit her tongue again and tried to get Bertram’s voice out of her head. That wasn’t even the problem-

“You give good hugs,” He interrupted her thoughts, which was probably a good thing because thinking too much was a dangerous game today. 

“What?” 

“You give good hugs.” He shrugged. “I’ve never told you that, but it’s true.”

She snorted, “Well thank you. I’m going to start the movie now.” She took a sip of her drink and then pressed play. An upbeat holiday tune started playing. “Also, why didn’t you fix your hair?” 

His ears were red again and he was focusing on the tv. “I was going to make a joke about it, but now I don’t know.” 

“What does that mean?” 

James sighed, “I was going to make a joke. You know, about how you could fix it for me.” Lily pressed her lips together to keep from laughing, because his ears were still red and he wasn’t looking at her and he’d clearly lost his nerve to make the joke after she’d unloaded on him instead of giving him an easy answer to his question. It wouldn’t be nice to laugh at him now as well. 

But then he looked at her, and she started laughing anyway. And despite his red ears, he was smiling at her. 

She put her mug down and without stopping to think about it, she reached over with both her hands and started messing up his hair. And then he was laughing, a hand resting on her waist and she was still laughing, but also thinking about how soft his hair was even with whatever product he’d used to tame it. 

She went to pull her hands out and her left hand stuck. 

“Ow!” He said through his laughter, reaching up and gripping her wrist to stop her from pulling again. 

“Oh no,” She got up on her knees and scooted closer so she could look at the mess she’d made with her impulsiveness. “James, I’m so sorry.” He was still laughing and holding her wrist. 

“It’s fine. I know that you and Mary have a thing for my hair, I shouldn’t have teased you.” 

Lily used her right hand to pinch his arm, “Teased me? Am I supposed to just let you get away with that? My hand is literally stuck in your hair right now, I can cause problems for you very easily.” 

“Letting me get away with it would be nice,” James ran his thumb up and down her wrist and Lily reached into his hair again to untangle the ring. 

“Well I suppose I can be nice since I’ve already pulled out some of your hair.” She got the last of his hair untangled and sat back on her legs. Her hand was in his now, and his thumb ran over the ring. “I’ve got to learn how to wield this thing.” 

“I didn’t realize that they could be dangerous.” James agreed. 

“I hit you in the face when I met you, and ripped your hair out with the ring you gave me after you proposed. I’m on a role.” Lily muttered, leaning into the back of the couch and taking some of the blanket that James had draped over his lap so that she could cover her legs as well, now that her’s was lost behind her and James still had a hold of her left hand. “Also, you’re missing the entire beginning of the movie,” She nodded toward the screen, where a young baker was talking to her dog in the back of her bakery, both of them were wearing Christmas sweaters. 

“I’m paying attention,” He lied, and turned to face the tv again. They were quiet for a few moments, long enough for Lily to remember the movie and settle into the storyline. “You know what you didn’t mention when you were listing all the things you were thinking about earlier?” 

“How I get to shove this rock in Lord Rosier’s face this week?” She shot back. “Though, that thought just struck me and I’m very excited about it.” 

James chuckled. “No, you didn’t mention the rest of the people who were there.” 

Lily looked away from the tv for a moment and nodded. “Yeah, I noticed that too.” 

“Does that mean-”

“James,” She looked at him again, and held his gaze this time. “Let’s watch the movie, yeah?” He looked over her face and she thought that he was going to try and continue the conversation despite her plea, and she’d have been honest with him if he had. But after another moment, he sighed and nodded. 

“Alright,” He squeezed her hand. “And if you want to play with my hair again, that would be alright with me. Just use your right hand.” She snorted and reached up and tugged on a lock of his hair. 

“I can do just as much damage with my right hand.” 

“You have a weird fascination with injuring me,” James leaned his head back on the couch and then let go of her hand and threw his arm around the back of the couch. Lily leaned forward for her hot chocolate and then leaned back against him.

“Yeah, well, you won’t stop teasing me. What am I supposed to do?” 

“Refrain from pulling my hair and hitting me?” 

“Nah,” She grinned into her mug. “Hand me some chocolate, please.”

He clicked his tongue, “You want me to get you things even though you’re not being nice to me?” 

“You’re not being nice to me either,” She reminded him. 

“Ridiculous. I’m not pulling your hair.” 

“Sure, but you are making fun of me and that might be worse.” 

“Ridiculous.” He repeated, but then he pulled her closer. 

She sighed and leaned against him. 

Things weren’t easy, but they were figuring them out.

Slowly.

They had time for that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are a lot of feelings in this chapter, yeah? Let me know how you're feeling in a review!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This weekend hasn't been super fun for me, guys. But Today I'm going to see Little Women, and I'm going to a bookstore that I haven't been to before, so hopefully it'll turn around.
> 
> As for ya'll, I decided to give you two chapters again. Enjoy the first:

Emma briefed both of them during breakfast the next morning. 

They had interviews scheduled for both Monday and Tuesday this week. Lily wasn’t sure how Parliament was going to feel about that, or how she would feel come the end of the week when she had to stay up late every night to make up all the work she was going to miss, but she would get through it. 

“Don’t forget that we have a parade on Thursday.” Anita was looking at Emma while she said this, but it did not fool Lily. Lily was the one who forgot things. Emma didn’t forget anything. She was one of those people would could walk into a room, look around, close her eyes and then tell you how many people were wearing uni jumpers or red hats. 

“Yes, and the festival is after the parade. I think it’ll be a nice opportunity for a photo, but we’ll talk about that later on in the week. Today, you two are going to go and sit down with Emmeline Vance over at the _Morning Show._” She pulled out her phone and typed something out. “And then you’ll sit down with a reporter for the _Daily Prophet_. Everyone wants details about the engagement and your wedding plans. Last night couldn’t have gone better if I’d staged it all myself,” She’d said this at least half a dozen time already. 

And showed them the pictures. Lily had pointed out to James that it looked exactly like a scene from the movie they’d watched last night. He’d made a joke about how great he was at this whole romance thing. She’d rolled her eyes. Mary had watched the entire exchange with knowing eyes. Lily had glared at her. 

“Two interviews today?” Lily asked, “You realize that I still have to work, yes?” 

Emma nodded. “Yes, of course. Though I think everyone will be understanding if you’re a little preoccupied for the next couple of weeks.” 

“I don’t think they will be. Especially not certain people.” 

“Okay, but you’ll have people to help you field them,” Emma shrugged. Lily wished she knew how to care so little about what Rosier and Malfoy thought about her. “We’re also going to do engagement photos here at the castle sometime soon. Though well probably go on location as well…” She trailed off, eyes still on her phone. 

“Oh, that’s a lovely idea,” Anita grinned. “Though I still think we should have them sit for a formal portrait.” 

“Like a painting?” Lily asked. “That would take forever, wouldn’t it?” She didn’t have that kind of time, didn’t they realize that? 

“We can do it after the wedding, of course,” Anita seemed to realize that Lily’s brain was getting overwhelmed. “But I’d like you to have one to match mine and Roberts.” 

“My parents never sat for a portrait.” Lily countered. 

“No, you father married your mother without my knowledge. There was nothing official about it.” She cleared her throat and looked down at her paper. Luckily the giant picture of Lily and James was face down on the table at the moment. 

“Lucky he did,” Mary said, tipping her head back and forth. “Or you’d be down two, terrific granddaughters.” 

“Two?” Anita raised a brow. 

“Yes, two.” Mary shot back. Anita smiled at her and patted her hand. 

“Yes, I would. Though I’d rather he hadn’t lied to me about the whole thing.” 

“He was in love,” Mary shrugged as though that explained it all. “What was the boy supposed to do?” 

“His duty.” Anita replied. “Same as I did, same as Lily is doing.”

“He came back,” Lily said softly. Anita respected her son for the reasons that Lily resented him. He’d left her mother and her to come back to this country, to rule and she never saw him. 

“He did.” Anita smiled, reaching for her tea. “And he did a wonderful job taking care of Gryffindor.” 

“King David was easier to manage as well,” Emma gave her a look and Lily narrowed her brows. She didn’t know much about her dad, but he had run off and married a woman in secret. He didn’t sound like he’d be easier to manage than Lily was. She was about to voice this when James cleared his throat.

“I have a question,” James spoke up, setting down his tea. “What will be my job once Lily and I are married?” 

“You will be the king consort.” Anita answered promptly. 

“Yes,” James nodded, “But what does that entail exactly? How will I occupy my time? There aren’t going to be interviews and photo shoots quite so frequently after things calm down.” 

The room was quiet for a moment, Lily unsure of what the answer was and Emma and Anita thinking it over most likely. 

“Well, James,” Anita spoke after a moment. “I believe that you’ll have a fair bit of freedom when it comes to what you’ll do here after the wedding. It will have to be appropriate for your title and position, but there are many options.” 

James nodded. “Well then I suppose I’ll have to think it over and then talk with you about it later.” 

“Yes, of course,” Anita nodded. 

“I can put a list together,” Emma suggested, looking up from her phone and tilting her head to the side. “I mean, you’ll take meetings with parliament, like Lily does. There will be ceremonial jobs, so you’ll attend formal parliament meetings… but I know what you mean. I’ll put together a list,” She repeated, and James nodded.

“If I were you,” Mary grinned, taking a sip of her tea before continuing. “I think I would be content to just be a trophy husband slash king.”

Lily huffed and rolled her eyes, but James laughed. “A trophy king? Sirius would die of envy.”

Once they were in the studio of the _Morning Show, _Lily’s heart was beating a bit faster than she would have liked. 

James was holding her hand, which normally helped, but it was doing little for her nerves at the moment. It might have been making her more nervous. Because if she was by herself for this interview, then she would feel more in control. She would know that people weren’t making assumptions about her and the man attached to her. 

“I suppose I could be a man of leisure,” James said, looking over the dessert table that someone had set up for them. 

“What?” Lily asked, tapping her fingers against her thigh and looking around the room at all the moving people. 

“You know how the wives of rich men are called ‘ladies of leisure?’” He shrugged. “I suppose I get to be a man of leisure. I’m not sure how I feel about it, though trophy king is a good term too. I’d have to host brunches and start a charity. I don’t know how to do either of those things. Though I suppose all I’d have to do is just tell Emma and then she’d do most of it for me.”

Lily looked over at him and frowned. “You’re really unsure of this, aren’t you? What is it that you did before you came here?” 

He nodded his head from side to side. “You’re from Cokesworth, yeah? I don’t want you to think that I’m being posh or arrogant.” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “What did you do?” 

He let out a breath, “I traveled with my mum to collect artwork for her collection. And I worked with my dad at his company.” 

Lily snorted, “Of course.” 

“Of course.” James nodded. “But if you had to guess, what would you have said that I did?”

“I think I would have gotten there after a guess or two.” She shrugged, “Any interest in politics? Perhaps we could work on something together.” 

“I mean, of course I have interest in it, but I don’t want to add to your plate. I know that you’re busy.”

Lily smiled at him. He’d been acting a bit strange all day, and she was pretty sure it was because she hadn’t let them have the conversation that he’d wanted to have last night. At least that was why she thought he was acting a bit off. “Well, I wasn’t offering to do something right now, but in a couple months I won’t be nearly so frazzled or busy.” 

“Oh? You think all this hype will die down in just a couple of months?” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and shrugged again. “Oh yes, after I’m queen things will be much less busy.” 

James chuckled. “I appreciate the offer, and I might take you up on it eventually, but I think I have to figure out where I fit in here on my own as well.”

Lily nodded, “That makes sense.”

And then Emmeline was waving them over and Lily’s stomach turned to lead again. Damn her nerves. 

“Good morning, you two!” Emmeline smiled at them, her teeth a little too white. “I’m so very honored that you chose to be on my show this morning! You’re all that anyone is talking about!” 

That was a lot for Lily this early in the morning, but she smiled back and nodded. “Yes, well, thank you for having us. We’re very excited to share the news.” James’ hand slipped into hers and she squeezed it tightly. She’d had to put on a show for the people before where James was involved, but this would require a lot more speaking on her part, and she wasn’t completely comfortable lying about what was going on. But she knew that they wouldn’t like to hear that she was only marrying James because of a law that parliament had found and decided to enforce either. 

“This is just going to be a short little fluff piece,” Emmeline assured them, “Nothing to be nervous about. I’ll ask you about the engagement- Emma gave me a list of questions to steer clear of before hand, so don’t worry about any curve balls.” Lily nodded, she’d helped Emma come up with that list. Questions like, ‘how did you two meet,’ weren’t on the table, since they met when she picked him out of a stack of eligible bachelors. 

“Alright, we’re live in two minutes,” She held up two fingers as though they were small children, or perhaps Lily just found her bubbly personality infantilizing because she was nervous. She shook her head. “Why don’t you two take a seat here, I want Lily closest to me.” She pointed at the small white couch that was beside the chair she normally sat in. They sat down, and Emmeline smiled at them. “Perfect.” 

“One minute!” Someone from behind the camera called out.

“You alright?” James asked, and his voice was a lot closer to her ear than she’d expected. 

She turned to look at him, “Yeah. You?” 

“Little nervous. I’ve never done this before.” Lily smiled at him. 

“It’s alright, I’m actually pretty good at this.” 

“I know you are,” James smiled back at her. “I’ve seen you on television before.” 

Lily tilted her head and had to lock that way so she would remember to ask him about it later. Of course he’d seen her on tv before, but it was still a weird thing to think about, that he’d seen her long before she’d met him. What had he thought? Had he been following along like the rest of the country?

She couldn’t ask him now though, because Emmeline had reached over to touch her arm, letting her know that they had less than ten seconds before they were live. 

Lily smiled and squeezed James’ hand before he let go and put his arm around the back of the couch. 

“Good morning, Gryffindor!” Emmeline greeted her audience with much enthusiasm and Lily tried to brighten her smile a bit. “We have quite an exciting show for you this morning, later we’ll talk to Bathilda Bagshot about her upcoming book, chronicling our country’s proud history, but first, and this is quite a treat for all of you, we have Princess Lily and Lord James Potter on the show to share with us the details of their engagement.”

Lily could tell that this was where the camera panned out to include the two of them in the shot. “Thank you both so much for agreeing to sit with me for a bit this morning!” 

“Oh, thank you so much for having us!” Lily smiled. “It’s been a while since you and I have had a chat.” 

“It’s been much too long!” Emmeline agreed. “Especially considering just how much has happened between now and the last time the two of us have talked. Of course, all the real excitement is still yet to come I suppose!” She looked at James. “And Lord James, this is your first time on the show, yes?” 

“Yes, I believe it is.” He nodded. “I was just letting Lily know before the cameras turned on, that I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this.” 

“This is your first tv interview!” Emmeline seemed to love that. “Wonderful! But let’s go ahead and dive into what I know everyone at home is just _dying _to hear about. The engagement.” The word came off her lips sounding more like a spell. The screens behind her shifted and suddenly, there were the pictures that Lily had avoided looking at too closely this morning at breakfast.

James was down on one knee, she had her hands clasped together over her chest and they were both smiling at one another like they were the only people in the world. Whoever took this picture was good too, because you could see the snow falling and the lights looked like they were twinkling, and the sky was a gorgeous shade of pink. 

“James,” Emmeline turned her head away from the picture and back to James. “How did you pick such a perfect moment? I mean this looks like a still from a movie!”

James laughed and his hand jumped up to his hair. “That might have been what I was going for.” He looked at Lily, like he was asking permission for something and smiled and looked back at Emmeline. 

“We had dinner before this, and I had been going on about Christmas movies and how perfectly cheesy they were, and how that day just kind of seemed like it should be part of a Christmas movie.”

“And so you just happened to have the ring on you?” Emmeline’s eyes were wide. 

“No! It wasn’t an accident. Originally, I was going to ask her to marry me in the restaurant, but after hearing her go on about the movies and the snow, I thought that she’d like this more,” He nodded back at the picture. 

“And did you know?” She asked Lily. 

Lily chuckled and looked down at her hands. “He surprised me.” She looked over at him for a moment and then back at Emmeline. “I mean, I thought he was going to propose after dessert, but when he didn’t, I thought it was just in my head-”

“Wishful thinking?” Emmeline supplied. 

Lily nodded along. “Something like that.”

“Does it count as wishful thinking if she was right all along?” James cut in, and Emmeline laughed. 

“He may have a point there,” She glanced back at the picture. “So, I know that this all happened yesterday, but do the two of you have any idea of when the big event will take place?”

Lily took a deep breath and James’ hand slid onto her shoulder. “Yes we do. January twenty-fifth.” 

Emmeline raised her brows, and Lily could see her refraining from looking down at Lily’s stomach. This did seem like that kind of wedding announcement. “So soon!” 

“Yes,” James nodded. “We don’t want to make a big fuss. Lily is taking over the crown in February and she didn’t want to spend her first few months as queen, also planning a wedding.”

“Yes, I want to devote all of my attention to the people of Gryffindor. James was very understanding of that.” She smiled at him, but she wanted to tell Emmeline the truth. 

“Yes, and it’s so close to your birthday, so that makes things rather easy for me.” James chuckled and Emmeline laughed as well. 

“Yes, your birthday and the coronation! It’s going to be such a busy time!”

“Yes,” Lily agreed, “But then the rest of the year should be fairly smooth sailing.” 

“Alright, well it seems you two have thought this out. And if you’re in love, then why not get married in two weeks!” She laughed again and then turned to the camera. “Well isn’t that exciting! After the break we’ll be talking to people who witnessed the engagement firsthand!” 

And then someone from behind the camera yelled something and Emmeline stood up. 

“Thank you both for being here this morning,” She looked giddy. “And for letting me break that news. Two weeks? You’re not-” She glanced down at her stomach now, and Lily had to find a way to be grateful that she’d refrained while on air. 

“No,” Lily shook her head. “I’m not pregnant. Parliament just wants to see me married before I’m crowned.” 

Emmeline raised her brows and then opened her mouth as though she just made the connection, “Oh, because they don’t want you distracted.” 

“Sure.” Lily nodded. “It was great to see you again, Emmeline.” She reached out and shook her head. “We have to be going though,” 

“Yes, of course! Come back anytime!” 

James spent the walk back to the car looking around and over his shoulder. Lily almost snapped at him, but she refrained. “What’s got you so antsy?” 

“They are interviewing people who were on the street?” He’d been waiting for her to bring it up, she could tell. He pushed his glasses up his nose and opened the car door for Lily before Moody could. “But we were there, she could have just asked us!” 

Lily had expected there to be ‘witnesses’ there for the show, but it was still strange. “They want to talk about it, and we’re leaving.”

“And she thought that you were pregnant!” His hand was in his hair now, and he leaned up against the side of the car.

“Of course she did, we’ve just announced that we’re getting married in two weeks.” 

“Two weeks,” He repeated. Lily looked at him. His brow was furrowed, his eyes narrowed, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. He had just realized how little time was left before they were to stand in front of queen and country and say ‘I do.’ 

She rested her hand on his arm, “Are you alright?” She asked, completely ignoring the toned muscles she felt tensing under her touch. Well, as completely as someone could while also acknowledging that they were there.

He blinked and his face shifted, the look from before disappeared and he reached out and brushed a lock of hair away from her face. She hadn’t been expecting that and she froze for a moment. He’d been effortlessly affectionate since she’d met him. He was always holding her hands, giving her hugs, offering his arm, and he peppered in the occasional forehead kiss.

But this gesture felt different. It felt more _intimate_. 

“I’m alright,” He gave her a small smile, seemingly unaware that he’d just pushed her off a ledge. “I just didn’t realize that we were that close to the end of the month.” Did friends do that? Did they brush each other’s hair out of their face and act all nonchalant about it? Sure she’d messed his hair up last night, but that had been a joke, it was _funny. _There had not been anything intimate about it. 

Though her engagement ring had gotten stuck in his hair. The ring that he’d slid onto her finger only hours earlier.

It wasn’t a bad thing though, was it? She had told Mary that she fancied James, and while that feeling was new and scary because she’d only had that realization yesterday, she was getting married to him in two weeks, and there were many, _many _less desirable ways for an arranged marriage to be going. 

“Yeah, that last week and a half has sort of flown by.” Now it was her turn to look surprised, and she was the one who had said it. “Have I only known you for a week and a half? That doesn’t seem right.” 

“It doesn’t.” He agreed. 

“You weren’t talking to me two days ago.”

James rolled his eyes and then climbed into the car. She followed him. “That’s not true. I did talk to you.” 

“Only after I hunted you down and fed you pie.” He shrugged. 

“I would have talked to you even if you didn’t bribe me with a pie.” 

“You can’t prove that.” 

“I beat you at badminton yesterday.” He said, changing the subject. “For the second time.” 

“And the last time.” Lily crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her chin up. She hated that she was so easily distracted.

“We’ll see about that next Sunday.” 

He was smiling at her, and even though she wanted to glare at him, she couldn’t help but smile back. 

The next interview went about the same, though they didn’t ask her if she was pregnant, Lily was sure that Emma had something to do with that. 

Lily tried not to dwell on the fact that James was being a bit more than friendly. He didn’t say anything of course, but there were a few times when she’d thought that he wanted to say something.

Eleven days. She’d only known him for eleven days.

It seemed as though she’d known him longer. 

This was what she was thinking about while she was in her office. She had all the paperwork out, she had a pencil in her hand, she was looking down at the paperwork. If anyone were to walk in, they would think that she was working. They wouldn’t know that she was obsessively thinking about James and what every little thing had meant that day. 

She huffed angrily. She didn’t have time for this. She had already lost the entire morning because of the interviews, she didn’t have time to waste now. 

She forced her mind to clear for a moment and then went back at the paperwork with a renewed sense of determination. 

Which lasted for about three minutes and then she was staring down at her desk again, this time looking at the ring she was wearing on her left hand. 

Bertram had tried to convince her that James wasn’t what she wanted, but that wasn’t true. This wasn’t _how _she wanted him, but she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about all the ways in which she would have liked to meet him. All the ways that wouldn’t have made her feel slightly sick to her stomach. 

She tried to convince herself that Mary had made many good points about how this could all just be a lovely coincidence. She could have accidentally picked the man of her dreams, no matter how ridiculous that sounded. 

Because it did sound ridiculous. She fancied him, a little, but that was it. It wasn’t as though she was head over heels for him. And he probably didn’t fancy her either. He _might_, but if he did, it was just a little bit too. Because they laughed a lot when they were together and because he thought she was pretty, and they had fun. 

She’d fancied a few people before, and she’d never gotten this distracted by them. She could thank the press for that. And her situation. 

She’d had to move her laptop and phone to the other side of the room so that she wouldn’t be too tempted to look up everything that was being said about her and James online. 

And then she had to turn her phone to silent because it had been buzzing every few minutes. 

She was dreading turning it back on. 

She took a deep breath. She would let herself over think about all of this later. At the moment, she had documents to sign, initiatives to read and meetings to prep for. And only a couple of hours until dinner. 

She ended up bringing a bit of her work with her when she left to go down for dinner. She had a few more documents to sign and have Emma send out before eight, but she didn’t want to be late either. And more because her stomach was in a rage than because she was worried about Anita scolding her. 

She wasn’t surprised to see Bertram had decided to rejoin them from meals now that James’ friends were gone. She was _not _happy to see him, however. 

If one good thing had come from his accosting her in the kitchen last night, perhaps it was an end to whatever good feelings she got when she was around him. He’d popped the bubble that had left her feeling clueless around him. 

“I told Emma that scheduling two interviews on a Monday morning was going to get you too far behind.” Anita sighed when she saw Lily walk in with a large file. 

Lily shrugged, “It’s alright, I got through most of it. These just need a signature and then Emma gets to do the rest.” She grinned at Emma who was sitting at the end of the table, also working. 

“Oh joy,” She gave Lily a quick smile before she went back to her computer screen. 

“Evening,” James said once she was seated. “You should teach me how to do your signature and then I can help you with those.” 

“That’s illegal.” Bertram spoke up. 

“I don’t think it’s technically illegal if he has my permission.” She put the file and her pen down and reached for the glass of wine that was already poured for her. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Mary who lifted her own glass in response. She didn’t know if it was illegal or not, but that wasn’t really the point of her disagreeing with him just then.

“His own name will work for most things after your married.” Anita said, choosing not to comment on the legality of James learning to forge Lily’s signature.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Lily grinned. “I can just have you sign everything.” 

James shook his head. “You can’t say that like it’s devious when I just _offered_ to do it.” 

Lily shrugged. “You offer now, but five or six years of signing everything and you’ll be sick of it.” 

“It’s going to take him that long to get sick of signing his name?” Mary asked, to which Lily shrugged and took another sip of her wine. It wasn’t her favorite. “I think I’d get tired of it in a few days.” 

“Well, there’s not normally this much,” Lily motioned to the file. “It’s just the start of the year and my coronation is not that far off… so there’s a lot of extra stuff thrown in.”

The first course was served, and Lily allowed herself to eat half of it without distraction and then opened the file and started signing in between bites. 

“Oh,” Emma interrupted her concentration and she looked down to her end of the table. “Before I forget, James, I’ve talked with Moody and everything is all set for tomorrow.”

Lily looks over at James and he’s looking down at Emma like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about either. 

“Though you have to wait until after the interview I have scheduled.” She adds, no longer looking at anyone. 

Lily looks back at James and he shakes his head. “My mum’s birthday is tomorrow. I can’t believe I forgot.” 

“Well I didn’t,” Emma winks down the table without looking up from her laptop. 

“I’m going to have dinner with my parent’s tomorrow.” He says, looking at Lily now. “I’ll be back Wednesday though.” 

Emma nods. “Yes, and there are more interviews- no, you’ll get back too late. We’re doing the engagement shoot on Thursday morning now. Before the parade.” She clicks away furiously at something and then sighs. “And then we have the festival that night- which will be press enough…” She’s no longer talking to them. 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and looked down at her Gran. “Am I…” She trailed off. 

“No, you’re staying here.” Emma answered the mostly unspoken question. “Though I did get Euphemia a present from you.” 

“Oh, how thoughtful of me.” Lily ran her tongue over her teeth. She didn’t know what else to say, because she wasn’t sure if James had asked to go alone, or if this was a decision that Emma and Anita had made without her. She’d like to meet James’ parents, and she wasn’t sure how it would look, him going home alone just a few days after they got engaged. 

“You’ll meet them soon enough,” Anita had probably just read her mind. “And with everything coming up at the end of the month, you don’t have time to take off tomorrow and Wednesday morning.”

“Do I get time off at the end of the month?” 

“The last week of the month is yours.” Emma answered, still looking at her screen. “And then you come back and we all flurry about to get ready for the coronation.” She looked up, “Speaking of time off, the two of you should work out where you’d like to go for your honeymoon.” 

_Honeymoon. _

Lily made the mistake of glancing at Mary, who had her eyebrows dancing as she shimmied her shoulders. She reached out to take another sip of her wine. 

“We’ll add that to our list.” James spoke for them, which was good, better than them sitting in silence with Mary teasing her and Emma waiting for a response. 

“You have a list?” Mary asked, and Lily was glad to see that her face was looking much more respectable now that she was talking to James. 

“A list of things to talk about?” James shrugged. “It’s not written down anywhere, but yeah.”

“Like what?” She asked. 

“Mary,” Anita reprimanded. 

“It’s fine,” James ran a hand through his hair and reached for his wine glass as well. “But I think you could guess a fair few.” Lily didn’t know why her heart was beating so quickly. “I mean, the honeymoon isn’t the only part of the wedding plans that we’ll need to talk about.” He looked at Lily, who quickly nodded. 

“Yeah, and also we counted today, and realized that we’ve only known each other for eleven days. So there’s just a lot to talk about in general.” James nodded now. 

“Yeah, like favorite foods to take to the theater,” 

“Or favorite Christmas movie,” Lily smirked, and James looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. 

“I didn’t fall asleep last night.” 

“You most certainly did. I stuck candy canes in your hair.” She teased, forgetting that there were other eyes on her. 

“Yes, and I knew that you were doing that.” 

“You were snoring.” 

“I was not,” He hid his mouth behind his wine glass. “And if I did fall asleep, it wasn’t because I didn’t like the movie you picked.”

“Which movie was it?” Anita asked, which shouldn’t have made Lily’s cheeks go red, but it did anyway. 

“A Hallmark movie,” Lily cleared her throat. “Santa Clause and Puppy Paws, the one where the girl has that pregnant dog and the bloke helps her find homes for all the puppies.” 

“I love that one,” Mary sighed, resting her chin on her fist. “Though, if my dog had puppies, I would keep them all.” 

“You’ve never had a dog before.” Lily reminded her. 

“Yes, because I’d be an irresponsible dog owner.” Mary sighed, “I’d feed them whenever they wanted, teach them to be lazy and then let it get knocked up so that I could keep all its spawn.” 

“Spawn?” James laughed. 

The dessert course came, and Lily was so glad to see that it was chocolate cake with apple cinnamon ice cream. 

“So chocolate in any form is your favorite?” James asked. 

“Probably,” Lily nodded. 

“It’s kind of an obsession with her.” Mary said. 

“That’s true,” Anita agreed. “For the last four years, her entire Christmas list has comprised solely of chocolate items from different parts of the world.” 

“And socks.” Mary added.

Lily shrugged. “I know what I like.” 

James laughed, “Chocolate and socks? So, you’re easy to shop for then?” 

“Oh yes, unlike those two who just see something they like and buy it immediately.” 

“That’s not true. I see something I like, I tell Gran, and then _she _buys it for me. I have no money.” Mary said, tilting her head down and then shoving in a bite of cake.

Lily smiled at her and went back to her dessert. She hadn’t even noticed that Bertram had left the room before dessert even arrived. 


	18. Chapter 18

Dinner ended quietly, and Lily said goodnight to everyone. James looked as though he was going to say something to her, but then he kissed her forehead and said goodnight same as everyone else. 

Lily walked into her room alone and sighed deeply as she leaned back against the door. It felt like this was the first moment that she had to herself in the last few days. 

James was going home tomorrow.

Only for one night, he’d be back by Wednesday afternoon, and they’d be back in the public spotlight by Thursday, but still. He hadn’t been here that long, but long enough to make her feel a little weird about him leaving. 

And she wasn’t going with him. She had heard what Emma had said, but Emma could have said that if James had asked to go alone. 

Though, she couldn’t begrudge him wanting to spend some time alone with his family. Perhaps she needed some time away from him as well. She’d gone from almost ignoring that he was now living in the castle, to spending almost all her time with him. She needed to find a better balance. 

Maybe this could act as a reset button of sorts. 

Lily felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out. There were far too many notifications for her comfort, but she ignored them all for the text message that had just come through.

James Potter: I was going to ask you if I could walk you to your room but then I chickened out

Lily Evans: Chickened out? What does that even mean?

Lily narrowed her brow, unsure of what James could mean, and also unsatisfied with giving him a hard time over text. She couldn’t see his face, she couldn’t guess at what he was thinking. 

He didn’t respond right away either, so she was forced to look through the rest of her notifications. 

She swiped away all of the links and pins that Mary had sent her, quickly deleted all the spam emails she’d received on her old email account, and uninstalled an app that had sent out over a dozen notifications in the last few hours. 

She was down to a manageable number now, when she noticed that her mother had called her twice today. 

Her stomach instantly turned to lead. And not because she thought that her mum was hurt or that something was wrong, but because her gut reaction was to think that her mum was going to tell her that she wasn’t going to come to her wedding, same as Petunia had. 

She started tapping her fingers on the back of the phone and wondered if she should call her back just then, or if she should text her instead. 

Luckily, she didn’t have to decide just yet.

James Potter: it means that I want to ask you if you’ll meet me in the kitchen

Lily Evans: Oh. So are you going to ask me then?

James Potter: do you have to be difficult all the time?

James Potter: will you meet me in the kitchen?

Lily Evans: Yes, to both. 

She didn’t know what he wanted, and even though she’d just decided that they could use a reset, that wasn’t until tomorrow, so she could go and spend time with him tonight. And it also gave her an excuse to keep her phone call with her mother short. 

The phone rang four times and Lily thought that it was going to go to voicemail, but then her mum answered. 

“Mum?” Lily’s voice sounded weird to her. 

“Lily!” Rose’s voice sounded weird to Lily too. “I knew I shouldn’t have called you during the day, I should have waited until this evening. I’m sorry if I distracted you at all.” 

“No! I’m glad that you called, I’m sorry that I didn’t answer, I didn’t have my phone on me when you called.” There had been a time where her mum would have been upset with her for saying that, but that time had long since come and gone. 

“Oh, I understand. You’re busy.” The line was quiet for a moment. 

“Not too busy.” Lily said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she kicked out of her heels and unzipped her skirt. If she was meeting James, she would be in her pajamas, not heels. 

“Yes, yes,” Her mum was probably nodding her head, Lily could picture it. “I just wanted to talk to you a bit. I haven’t heard from you since Petunia came back home.” 

Oh. “Yeah, I don’t really know what you want me to say about that. Did you know that’s why she was coming?” 

Her mum clicked her tongue. “I did.” Lily clenched her jaw as she focused on her pajama pants. “You have to understand Lily, Vernon and Petunia have been working very hard to plan for this holiday, and they didn’t know that you’d be getting married this month when they made the plans!”

“Yes, Petunia explained all of that to me.” Lily nodded. She didn’t want to listen to her mum tell her why she shouldn’t be hurt that her sister wasn’t going to be at her wedding. She couldn’t make those hurt feelings go away just because the reasoning behind it all made sense.

“Oh baby,” And then Lily’s eyes were prickling, and she couldn’t stop them from watering. “I know that it doesn’t seem fair, but you couldn’t have thought that everyone was going to be able to make it.” 

Lily pressed her lips together, an attempt to collect herself before she answered. “Right, yes, of course.” The noble families of the surrounding kingdoms could make the last minutes invitation, the Prime Minister and his extended family, but not her sister. “You’re going to be there, right?” 

“Of course!” She said quickly. “Of course, David and I will be there! I’m looking forward to seeing you, sweet girl. It’s been too long.” More tears fell down her cheeks and she rubbed her free hand against her cheeks. 

“Good, I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” Rose said. The line went quiet again. “Well, I suppose I’ll talk to you later.” 

“James is a nice bloke,” She said quickly. “I think you’ll like him, mum.” 

“Oh,” Surprised. “Oh yes, I’m sure that I will.” 

Lily clenched her hand into a fist. “Alright. I’ll see you soon.” 

“I love you, Lily.” 

“I love you too, Mum.” 

Her mum hung up first. 

Lily put the phone down and picked up a pair of pajama pants. She pulled them on and then wiped at her face again. She took off the jacket and blouse she was wearing and put on a jumper before she left her room. 

She was halfway to the kitchen when she realized that she’d forgotten to check and see if James had sent her a time that she was supposed to meet him. But it didn’t really matter, she could wait for him and she didn’t want to carry her phone around. 

She walked down the staircase, letting her hand trail along the stone wall. 

She wiped at her cheeks again before she stepped into the room, and James was there, sitting at the table with a kettle and two cups. He smiled when he saw her and she felt like crying again, but she smiled back. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Lily stopped walking across the room and tilted her head. ‘’What are you talking about?” She smiled at him again, hoping that it was more convincing this time. 

“Come have some tea.” He waved her over, and she let out a breath, assuming that he was going to let it go.

She walked over and took a seat across from him as he poured her tea into her cup. She thanked him and pulled the cup closer to her, wrapping her hands around it. 

“Now tell me what’s bothering you.” 

She looked up at him and then sighed, taking a sip of her tea and then she sighed again. “How did you know that something was wrong?” 

He shrugged his shoulders and looked slightly proud of himself for being right, or perhaps for getting her to admit that he was right. “I’m your fiancé, it’s my job to know.” 

She gave him a look, “Shut up, James.”

“Alright, then I knew because it’s written all over your face.” 

“Why did you chicken out about asking to walk me to my room?” This was asked with an incredulous tone. Because what had he even meant by that?

James rolled his eyes. “I asked you first.” 

“You did not,” Lily wished she had her phone now so she could pull it out and show them their text conversation. “I asked you after you said it.” 

“Fine.” Now it was his turn to stall by focusing on his tea. 

“My mum called me,” Lily caved before he could even say anything. Whether that was because she actually did want to talk about it or because she didn’t want to hear what he was about to say, she wasn’t sure. 

James’ eyebrows shot up. “Oh?” 

“I missed her calls earlier because I was working and I had to keep my phone- anyway, I called her back right before I came down here and- Did I tell you what Petunia said before she left?” She wasn’t making much sense, but she didn’t know how to talk about this, she didn’t talk about this with anyone but Mary and her gran, and they already knew everything so she didn’t need to be careful about what she said or how she explained herself. 

James blinked at her and then shook his head, “No, I don’t think you did. You mentioned that something happened I think,”

“When I brought the pie, yeah. The different expectations conversation.” Lily slumped over in her chair and took another sip of her tea. It could use some sugar. 

James’ hand was in his hair now. “So, what did she say?” 

“She said that she wasn’t coming to the wedding.” She looked up at James. “Our wedding.” 

“Oh, that one,” James sucked in a breath and then shook his head. “Why would she say that? It seemed as though the two of you were getting along…” He trailed off, like he was unsure if he should be mentioning how he thought Lily and Petunia got along. 

She appreciated his uncertainty. 

“Her and Vernon had a holiday planned for a few months now, and they didn’t want to- she said that they _couldn’t _reschedule. So, mum called to tell me not to be upset with her.”

James nodded, “Oh?” 

“Yes, and now I think that Petunia was only nice to me the entire time she was here because she was working up to telling me that she wasn’t coming, and why would my mum tell me not to be upset? Of course, I’m upset! I had to go to Petunia’s wedding even though Vernon said that it would be more convenient for everyone if I just stayed here! And who just stops being upset about something when they’re told to stop being upset?” 

“I’ve never seen that work before.” James didn’t seem like he knew what he should be saying. 

“Right? And she never even calls me, so that just makes it worse.” She took another drink of her tea. “She hasn’t even asked me anything about you! Does she not care?”

“I’m sure that she does.” 

“Right, yeah, me too.” Lily sighed. “I just, I don’t know. My mum is exhausting.” 

James tapped his fingers along the side of his mug and nodded, “That sounds very frustrating. I can’t believe you let me be nice to Vernon after he said that to you as well.” 

Lily snorted and shook her head. “I thought Tuney and I were getting along again! And Dudley is so cute! Vernon is just the unfortunate part of the package deal.”

“Well I’m not going to just let Peter be all friendly with him in the future! I mean, I saw that he was disrespectful, and I could tell that there was bad blood between the two of you but, he tried to tell you that you _couldn’t _go to their wedding?” 

“He tried to tell Petunia that I couldn’t go. While I was standing in front of them.” 

“That’s such a shitty thing to do,” He shook his head again. 

“Right! Mum told me that I was overreacting then too!”

“I don’t know why she does that. I’m sorry.”

Lily sighed again and pushed herself up, so she was sitting again. “Thanks,” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “For letting me vent for a bit. For not telling me that I just needed to let it go.” 

“Well, I was going to do that next.” He smirked and Lily smiled at him, and her smile felt lighter now.

“Thanks for inviting me down here.” 

“Thanks for coming down here.”

“Please, I’m down here all of the time. Even if you didn’t invite me, I’d be here.” 

“Right. I believe that.” He chuckled. “I like you, Lily.” He leaned back against his chair. 

“I like you too,” Lily smiled.

“I didn’t expect to like you so much when I heard that I was coming here.” 

“Well, I’m pretty great. And most people don’t know that about me.” She tucked her hair back behind her ear.

He leaned forward now so that his forearms were resting on the table, his hands still wrapped around his mug. “I think everyone knows. Do you remember when we first met?” 

“Yeah, I hit you in the face because I distracted myself thinking about whether or not I was smiling and wondering where my gran was.” 

He laughed, “You were smiling.”

“I saw later, on the news.” 

“But that wasn’t the first time that we met.” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “Well the other time hardly counts! I met over three hundred people that night!”

“But you do remember?” 

She tilted her head back and forth. “Not really. I mean, I know that we met, but also it was what? Three or four years ago?” 

“I think it was your eighteenth birthday.” James nodded. 

“Do you remember it?” She asked, though he had to have remember it if he was bringing it up. 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Remus and Sirius made a few jokes about slipping you my ‘card.’”

“Your card?” She snorted. “Like your number?” 

“No, like my ‘card.’ My profile I guess? They thought it would be awfully funny if I married a princess.” 

Lily pressed her lips together, glad that he remembered her because of something his friends said and not something she’d said, both because she couldn’t specifically remember meeting him and because that meant that she hadn’t embarrassed herself and then blocked the memory out of her mind. 

“It’s like they just knew,” She grinned, finally reaching for the sugar bowl and dumping maybe a bit too much into her mug. 

“There was no way any of them thought that I’d actually end up marrying you.” 

“Are they going to be there for your mum’s birthday?” 

“Yeah,” He nodded. “Mum and dad have all but adopted the lot of them by this point. Like your gran with Mary.” 

“Is Sirius going to find a way to be upset with me for not going?” 

He sat up straighter. “Nah, I’ll tell him that it was his fault that you stayed here.”

She’d made her opening, but she didn’t know how to ask the question without sounding bruised. She’d already decided that him leaving for a day was a good thing anyway. 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about it sooner,” He said, “Between the engagement and the interviews, I just forgot that it was so close.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Lily almost waved her hand, but decided that that would be overkill at the last moment. “It’s not as though I haven’t forgotten things before.” 

“Right well, we’ve moved past that I think.” 

“Probably.” Lily nodded. It certainly felt like it had been more than five days since she’d stood James up by forgetting that they’d made plans. 

“It’ll be weird not seeing you,” He said. 

“Not too weird, right?” Lily shrugged. “I mean, before yesterday, we didn’t spend all that much time together.” 

“I suppose,” James frowned. “I still think it’ll be weird.” 

“You’re not going for that long. You’ll be back Wednesday afternoon, yes? So, twenty-four hours? I know I’m amazing, but you won’t miss me that much.” 

“I might.” He teased. “I did ask if you could come.” He added, and her heart skipped because that was the answer to the question she’d been dancing around for the last few minutes. She wasn’t going to have to bring it up.

“Oh? I don’t remember you asking me.” 

“Well I didn’t ask you,” He corrected, still grinning. “But when I went to Emma to set up the arrangements, I told her that you might prefer to meet my parents in a less formal setting, which would be my home as opposed to anything here at the castle.” He shrugged a shoulder. “But she said that that wasn’t a good idea.” 

“As long as I meet them before we get married, I suppose it’ll be alright.” She took another sip of her tea. There were grains of undissolved sugar. “Though I don’t know when you’ll meet my mum, so maybe that’s not a fair thing for me to say.” 

“It is.” He nodded. “You’ll meet them before the wedding.” 

“I like it when you promise me things,” She smiled, looking into her teacup. The dregs on the bottom were shaped like a flower. “I actually believe you.” 

He was quiet long enough for her to look up at him. “I feel like you’re telling me my eyes are sparkly all over again.” Lily snorted. 

“I believe I also said that the pastries looked sparkly.” 

“Yeah, but I think that having you look at me the same way you look at a pastry is kind of a big deal.” Lily squirmed. 

“If you say so,” She looked at his cup. “Did you finish your tea?” 

“Almost, why?” 

“I wanted to look at your tea leaves.” And change the subject, but she didn’t need to say that out loud for it to be obvious. Yes, him going away for a day would definitely do her some good. 

He took the last swallow and then pushed his mug over to her. She squinted at it and then spun the mug around a ways. “I’m not sure what you’ve got here. You tell me what you see. Technically that’s how this is supposed to go anyway.” She pushed the mug back to him. 

“I didn’t realize that you were psychic.” 

“I promise, I’m working on a list for you.” 

“You keep saying that.” He pressed his lips together in concentration and peered into his mug. “What does it mean if I see a turtle and a bee?” 

“I’m pretty sure that bees mean that you’re rich in material goods.” She smiled, “And a tortoise… I don’t remember that one. I think it means something about being cautious?”

“You’re a wonderful fortune teller.” 

“Psychic.” Lily corrected and then waved her hand over the cup and took another stab at it. “You will marry a princess as the month dies, incurring more wealth and material goods, such as a castle and a crown.” James laughed and shook his head. 

“You’re cheating now,” 

“I’m not cheating! I’m just using outside knowledge.” 

“But that’s cheating!” 

“It is not, and you keep interrupting my reading, that renders the entire thing void.” 

“The entire thing?” 

“Yeah, if you want to try again, you’ll need to drink another cup of tea.” 

“I don’t think I want to try again. You’ll only cheat a second time.” 

Lily gasped and put a hand over her heart. “The suggestion!” 

“You’re a bit ridiculous.” 

“Yes, but that one you had to have already known by now.” James laughed again and nodded. 

“Yes, I did already know that.” As much as she liked sitting across from him and making him laugh, she had the feeling that if she stayed down here with him much longer, he was going to try and hold her hand or have a conversation that she wasn’t ready to have yet, so she took a deep breath and pushed her chair back. 

“I think it’s time to head to bed now.” 

“I suppose.” James agreed, standing up and moving their cups from the table to the sink. Lily grabbed the kettle and did the same. “It’s been a long day.”

“A long couple of days.” 

“Eleven long days?” James grinned.

“A long month.” Lily amended. “But it’ll get easier, less busy.” 

“Yeah, it’ll get less busy.” James nodded and Lily started walking toward the stairs. 

She didn’t miss his word choice, but she didn’t comment on it. “Not tomorrow though, tomorrow will be just as busy.” 

They got to the top of the stairs and continued on down the corridor. His room was one floor under hers, but in the same direction. “Turns out that I get to walk you to your rooms tonight.” She said, because he was being too quiet, which meant that he was thinking, and that seemed dangerous. 

He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, looks like it.” He looked over at her as they made their way up another flight of stairs. “Thanks for telling me about your mum and sister earlier. I know that you don’t like talking about that.” 

Lily looked down at her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. “Thanks for listening. I’m glad that I can talk to you.” Very glad. 

“Yeah, me too.” He grinned. They were almost at his door now. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning?” 

“I hope so, otherwise you’ll have some explaining to do.” She teased. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He grinned, his hand ran along his jaw now and Lily bit the tip of her tongue. 

“I know,” She nodded. “I just like hearing you say it.” 

He paused for a moment and looked at her and Lily cursed herself. That was a bit too flirty for this particular moment. Normally flirting with him seemed harmless, but it didn’t really seem harmless right now. 

It wasn’t even that she thought James fancied her, it was that she thought that he thought he was _supposed _to fancy her. That they were supposed to behave as though they fancied each other. They were engaged, they had fun together, but Lily wasn’t sure that she wanted to have any _more _fun. 

Sure she’d thought about snogging him last night when they’d been cuddled up on his couch watching a cheesy movie, but she really did think that everything would be far more simple if they kept any of that out of their friendship for the time being. There was too much else going on just now for any of that. 

“Goodnight James,” She grinned at him, stepping forward for a hug. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She really did enjoy being close to him, and she closed her eyes for a moment. 

“Night, Lily.” He kissed the top of her head, and Lily felt assured that hugging him goodnight had been the right choice. Not only did she get to hug him, but he also kissed her. Not in the way that she’d been thinking of letting him kiss her last night, but still, she enjoyed the warmth that spread throughout her chest at the affection. She curled her toes in her slippers and stepped back. 

“See you in the morning.” She waved and then turned toward the stairs. 

James Potter: I think Mary was in my room while I was out

James Potter: [photo]

Lily Evans: Oh my goodness.

Lily Evans: I’m sure that’s what she wants you to wear tomorrow for our interviews.

James Potter: I wonder what Emma would have to say about that

Lily Evans: She would not let you leave in that.

James Potter: [photo]

James Potter: I think I look good!

Lily Evans: I just forwarded that to Mary.

Lily Evans: The pink tights really tie the whole outfit together

James Potter: You can’t tell in the picture, but they’re sparkly. 

Lily Evans: I hope you wear them tomorrow. 

James Potter: They’re kind of scratchy or I’d wear them under my trousers just for you

Lily Evans: I’ll tell Mary that you’d like a softer sort in the future 

James Potter: Much appreciated 

Lily Evans: On and unrelated note… can I have Sirius’ number?

James Potter: Absolutely not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so was this a lot of fluff and not a lot of plot? Yeah, it was. You're welcome. I remember thinking while I was writing this, that it was wholey indulgent on my part and not really necessary, but I didn't want to chop it either so here we are. I mean, it's not completely unnecessary but ya know.
> 
> Lots will be happening next week!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is super fun and I'm not going to try and tell you otherwise. Mary and Lily are together for most of it and I cackled while editing it and writing it and I wish the entire fic could just be Mary running wild!  
Enjoy, my friends

The interviews in the morning went about the same as they had the day before, which was good, because that meant that there hadn’t been any surprises. Lily preferred all interactions with the media to go off without any surprises, so she was pretty happy with the outcome. She was also thrilled that no one aside from Emmeline had thought it was okay to ask her if she was pregnant. 

James seemed more himself today. Or more how she had gotten used to him behaving anyway and so she was feeling good about that as well. 

She was glad that they’d had a moment to themselves last night, because they did not have one this morning.

With James leaving, Emma was using all traveling time to and from the different stations to update and inform them on what was going on and what they needed to be doing and who was saying what and- Lily wasn’t sure she actually listened much. She figured if it was actually important, her Gran would tell her about it later. It wasn’t as though Emma was telling her anything about the government, only the social side of things. Which was important, and she knew that she should be listening, but her mind was already on the meetings that she would be holding all afternoon. 

So when they got back, Lily said goodbye to James with Mary and her Gran standing right beside her, which was fine, but made her feel the need to be a bit less familiar with him. She still gave him a big hug though. 

Once he’d walked out the door, she pulled out her phone and started toward her office, but then Emma caught her by the arm.

“You need to go and wave to him on the steps.” She said, apparently this was one of the things that Lily hadn’t listened to in the car. She looked toward her Gran.

“That seems a bit unnecessary.” Lily said. Anita shrugged.

“It’s an easy thing to do, Lily. And it looks good.”

“It looks sweet,” Emma added.

“People aren’t going to notice-“

“You’re right, but I still want you to do it,” Emma ushered her toward the door and Lily sighed before doing as she was told.

James hadn’t yet gotten in his car yet, and when he saw her, he started in her direction instead of getting in his car. She didn’t know how to tell him that he didn’t need to do that without shouting it out, and she figured that would have the opposite effect that Emma was going for with this, waving goodbye stunt. 

“Alright, Evans?” Lily blinked, and James was about halfway up the stairs. She bit her lip and walked down a few herself to meet him in the middle. 

“I’m alright,” She nodded. “Evans?” He shrugged. “Emma told me to come out and wave goodbye from the steps. She says it’ll seem romantic.” She felt like her cheeks were red, but she could blame that on the cold if she had to. 

James nodded, only two steps away now. “Yeah, she told me that she was going to have you come out here while you were ignoring her in the car.” And then he was only a step below her, and his arms were wrapping around her middle. “I figured I could steal another hug.” 

She sighed and hugged him back. 

He kissed her cheek when he stepped back, pausing only a few inches away with a mischievous smirk. “I’m going to miss you.” 

Lily clicked her tongue. “I’ll see you tomorrow, James.” 

“I know, but I’ll still miss you.” He was still smiling. 

“You won’t have the chance if you never leave,” She shot back. 

“Always so difficult.” He shook his head and finally stepped back, putting the proper amount of distance between them. 

“Have a good time,” Lily waved him off. “Tell everyone I say ‘hullo!’”

“Will do,” He waved as well and then he was jogging down the steps. He stopped at the door of his car, which Moody had opened, probably to try and get him to hurry up so they could leave. But he stopped anyway and turned to wave at her. He winked and Lily almost rolled her eyes, but then decided to blow him a kiss instead. He pretended to catch it of course and then slipped into the car. Moody looked about ready to roll his eyes and almost slammed the door behind him. Lily laughed and waved again before she turned around and headed back into the castle. 

“You were supposed to wait until the car was pulling away!” Emma said as soon as she stepped back inside. 

Lily shrugged. “I think you’ll be happy with what they got.” 

“Only because James is better at this than you are,” Emma _did _roll her eyes, and Lily understood her frustration, so she didn’t say anything about it. She pulled out her phone again and started toward her office. 

Lily Evans: I suppose I’ll miss you a little bit.

Mary fell into step beside her and linked their arms. “So,” She said, tilting her head as she looked at Lily. Which Lily thought was showing off since she would have fallen flat on her face if she’d tried to walk and tilt her head while looking at Mary and talking all at once. 

“So?” Lily repeated. 

“Lily, I think your fiancé fancies you a great deal.” 

“Mary, let’s not do this. I’ve already told you-”

“He just ran up the stairs to kiss your cheek! It was really cute and really sweet and the boy lights up whenever he sees you!” 

Lily frowned. “No, Mary. James and I are friends.”

“But you told me-”

“I did, yes, but that doesn’t change anything. I’ve only known him for twelve days now. Don’t you think it’s wise not to rush into anything?” Now it was Mary’s turn to frown. 

“Maybe it is, but it’s no fun.” She huffed. “I mean you’re going to marry him in like, two weeks! Why can’t you just snog him already?” 

Lily almost let her head fall back so she would be looking up at the ceiling, but they were still walking, and she didn’t want to fall. “Because!” 

“That’s not a good reason!”

“It’s a very good reason! It doesn’t feel right.”

“How come?” 

Lily stopped walking for a moment and shifted from one foot to the other. “Because it just doesn’t. Things are complicated enough without those feelings being added to the mix. And I feel as though the entire thing is negated because I wouldn’t be doing any of this if Parliament wasn’t making me!” 

Mary nodded, “That’s true. You wouldn’t be getting married to James if Parliament wasn’t making you. But now you have the opposite problem. Which is to say, that you’re _not _snogging him because of Parliament.” 

Lily narrowed her eyes. “That’s not going to work.” 

“What’s not going to work?” She asked too innocently. 

Lily started walking toward her office again. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, but she couldn’t very well pull it out now, not with Mary right there and ready to give her shit for whatever James had replied. “Your reverse psychology.” 

“That’s not what I’m doing! I’m just pointing out the facts. You said that you can’t kiss him because of parliament.” 

“I did not say that.” She huffed in frustration and almost stamped her foot. “I said that it feels weird because of parliament. It feels like whatever James and I _could _have is cheapened or false because of parliament, because of how we met, because of how we _didn’t _meet.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and stopped walking again, turning to face, Mary. “Look, I’ve taken off two mornings this week and I have a lot of work to catch up on. We’ll talk later, alright?” 

“I get it okay!” She called after Lily. “But you do have a choice! You just haven’t realized it yet!” 

Lily wasn’t sure what that meant, but she didn’t really want to dwell on it, so she just kept marching away. 

“I saw that Lord Potter left this afternoon,” Rosier had come into her office a few moments ago and Lily had been tapping her pen against her desk ever since. 

“Yes, it’s his mother’s birthday.” She didn’t need to give him an explanation, but one fell from her lips anyway. 

“I see,” He smiled at her. “And why are you not accompanying him?” 

Lily smiled back at him, “If I had gone with him, you’d be asking me why I thought it was okay to slack on my duties to the kingdom for a boy. There’s just no winning with you, is there, Rosier?” 

He frowned and Lily kept smiling. 

“Now, I believe you wanted to talk about your bill proposal?” 

“Yes,” He sat up straighter, and for the next ten minutes or so, Lily believed that they were actually going to stick to business, that he was done giving her a hard time about her personal life. Not that James was her personal life. He was by and far her public life. At least anything that Rosier could comment on would be her public life. That was yet another reason why things felt off with James. 

“If you add the amendments that we talked about, then I will back the proposal,” Lily nodded, reaching for her water and taking a sip. “We can bring it to the floor on Thursday.” 

“Oh? Will you be in on Thursday? I heard that you were having photos done.” Was that public knowledge yet?

“Next Thursday. Or had you forgotten about the parade and the festival taking place this week?” 

“Of course I remember, I was one of the first people to back _that_ proposal. I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t have too much on your plate,” He stood up and started to gather his things. “A monarch with-”

“Please spare me your speeches. Every single monarch before me has had to deal with more than just parliament. They all had spouses, they all had families, they all had hobbies. They didn’t just sit in this room until they died.” She was standing now too. “Let Flitwick know that he can come in now.” 

He blinked at her, surprised. She was surprised as well. She’d never got quite that far, had she? Shut him down _and _kick him out all in one go? She was pretty proud of herself. 

Dinner with her Gran and Mary was pretty quiet that night. It took her a while to notice that Bertram wasn’t there. And when she did notice, she didn’t ask about him, she just assumed that he’d gone to his uncle’s for dinner. 

She was almost back to her room when she wondered when she stopped having complicated feelings for Bertram. Well, not complicated, just more feelings than she wanted to have. Had it been just because he was there, and no one had been telling her to have feelings for him? 

Had they stopped when he told her that his uncle’s paper had run that story about the two of them? With that sad photo of James in the background? 

Had it been before or after she’d made fun of the books he read with Sirius? (Or _to _Sirius, he hadn’t wanted to participate.)

Did she still have feelings for him now?

She hadn’t felt anything good toward him when they had ran into each other in the kitchen the other night. When he’d tried to convince her that she was making a mistake by marrying James. He hadn’t said that outright of course, but that was what she felt like he was trying to do. He definitely wasn’t trying to make her feel good about the situation.

She shook her head. He had never made her feel good about herself or her choices, so she was glad that she spent so little time thinking about him now. 

She was getting into bed when she finally got the chance to check her phone.

James Potter: Don’t miss me too much

And then six hours later...

James Potter: Alright, a little more than you are would be fine though

Lily smiled and settled against her pillows, turning on the tv before she replied. 

Lily Evans: I didn’t mean to bruise your ego. But I’m off work now, so if I go another six hours without replying, this time it will be on purpose.

He was back home and with his friends, and it wasn’t even eight yet, so she knew that he wasn’t going to respond, so she dug around for her charger and then climbed back out of bed to shower and change so she could actually go to bed. 

When she got out of the bathroom, Mary was on her bed with a giant tub of pretzels. 

“You know it’s a sin to watch Hallmark movies without me, right?” 

“I just turned on the tv and that’s what was on.” 

“Sure,” Mary shoved a few pretzels in her mouth. “Your phone keeps buzzing. I don’t know why you got a new passcode, so it’s also locked for another five minutes or so.” 

“Stop trying to break into my phone all the time,” Lily rolled her eyes and crawled into bed, stealing a few pretzels before she checked her phone. It was locked for another three minutes. She looked up at the tv. “Have we seen this one?” 

“A couple times,” Mary nodded. “It’s the one with the gingerbread house competition.”

“Fetch,” 

“Yeah.” Mary nodded. “We didn’t make a gingerbread house this year.” 

“We didn’t,” Lily agreed. “I don’t really like gingerbread.” 

“That’s not the point of a gingerbread house.” 

“I suppose that’s fair.”

“We’ve had this conversation before.” 

“Guess it’s time to call it quits then. We’ve been friends for too long.”

“Yeah, I’d like to trade you in. I need a friend who listens to me.” 

“Me too.” Lily nodded, reaching over to take more pretzels.” They watched the movie quietly for a minute and Lily wanted to pick up her phone, but she didn’t want Mary to know that she wanted to pick up her phone, so she had to wait until the commercial break.

James Potter: My ego is fine I suppose. I mean, I guess you have an important job. 

James Potter: Mum says thank you for the gift as well

James Potter: You got her alpaca fur gloves and a scarf. Very thoughtful. 

James Potter: Also, I don’t know if you’re ignoring me on purpose now or if you just fell asleep waiting for me to respond, but I’m choosing to take it personally.

Lily had to bite her lip to keep from snorting. 

Lily Evans: Alpaca fur is very soft, I got some for Christmas and I must have assumed that she would love it as much as I do

Lily Evans: And good, you should take it personally

Lily Evans: Mary tried to guess my passcode while I was in the shower and ended up locking my phone

James Potter: I should have known that it would be Mary related. It’s always Mary related. 

Lily Evans: That’s true enough. We’re watching a Hallmark movie. You’d probably have fallen asleep by now.

James Potter: Like better movies? I don’t know what to tell you

Lily Evans: Rude

James Potter: You ripped out some of my hair, who’s the real rude one?

Lily Evans: Don’t even start with me

“Excuse me,” Mary reached over and tugged on her hair. “You’re missing the movie.” She pointed up at the screen and Lily turned her screen off even though she saw that James had responded already, and then reached for more pretzels. 

“I’ve seen it a few times already,” Lily reminded her. 

“I know that.” She was smirking, Lily could hear it in her voice, but she wasn’t going to look. “I mean, if you have something that you’d rather be doing then I suppose that would be alright.” 

Lily clenched her teeth together. She didn’t know why it bothered her so much that Mary was being supportive and encouraging about her feelings toward James. She shouldn’t feel like that. It was just one of the many reasons that this all felt off. 

She was going to have to get over it, because Mary wasn’t going to change, and she did want to see what James had replied. 

She let out a dramatic sigh and pulled her phone out, unlocking the screen as Mary started cackling like the mad woman she was. “I’m telling Reggie that I was right. He’s going to feel so foolish.” 

“You weren’t right about anything, you were entirely, 100% wrong.” 

“Thank you for that, now he’ll have to believe me.” Mary blew her a kiss and then pulled out her own phone.

James Potter: I think I might like winding you up actually

James Potter: Though if you’re going to retaliate by leaving me on ‘read’ then I’ll apologize

Lily let her three little dots hover for a moment and then turned off her screen again. She wasn’t actually upset of course, but she did want to see if he’d actually apologize. 

He did. 

James Potter: I see how it is. 

James Potter: I’m terribly sorry for calling Hallmark movies shit, and for reminding you that you ripped out my hair. 

Lily Evans: Your apologies are shit

Lily Evans: And I gave you an honest apology for pulling your hair, you’re not allowed to give me a hard time for that anymore. 

James Potter: Oh? Is that how it works?

“You ripped out his hair!” Mary shrieked and Lily twisted her body quickly so that the screen was facing entirely away from Mary, though she was too late of course.

“You’re reading over my shoulder!” Lily shrieked back. 

“WELL APPARENTLY I HAVE TO!” 

“You most certainly do not, and keep your voice down.” 

James Potter: And my apologies are pretty fantastic

Lily Evans: Hold on, Mary’s about to attack me. Pray for my safety 

She turned her screen off and shoved her phone under her pillow so Mary wouldn’t take it and get it locked again. 

Mary stood up and started jumping up and down on the bed, knocking pretzels everywhere. “I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! YOU’VE SNOGGED HIM!”

“Sit down before you hurt yourself!”

“No! I was right and I don’t know why you were lying to me, but I don’t even care! Because I was right and you’ve-”

“I have _not _snogged him, and I wouldn’t lie to you. You know that.” 

Mary paused in her jumping and narrowed her eyes. 

“Then how did you rip out his hair.” 

“I don’t know what kind of snogger you think I am, but I’ve never purposefully ripped out a bloke’s hair before.” 

“Never?” Mary dropped to her knees and cocked her head to the side. 

“No!” 

“Well sometimes they’re into that,” Mary shrugged. “But don’t distract me! How did you rip out his hair if you didn’t snog him? Answer me that one!” 

“My ring got stuck in his hair! There was no snogging!” 

“Why,” Mary started talking very slowly, “Was. Your. Hand. In. His. Hair?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Because it was all proper looking, and I was teasing him about it, and then he told me that I could fix it-”

“AHHHH!”

“Shut up, Mary!” Lily covered her face with her hands. 

“That’s almost better than you kissing him- I mean, it’s not, but _almost_. I still think that you should snog him of course, but we’re getting there.” 

Lily uncovered her face and pressed her lips together, “I know that you’re teasing me, but you didn’t see him when he said it! His ears were all red!”

Mary laughed at her again and then reached out and pulled her into a hug. “Ah, Lily! You’re such a dork, and so is James and I’m just glad that you like him.” 

“He’s fine,” Lily was never one to pass up a hug though, so she hugged her friend back, but she still added a pinch when Mary pulled back. 

“Ow!” She held her arm. “And you said that wrong. He’s _fine, _is how you should have said that.” 

“Stop, someone might hear you.” 

“I should call him.”

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“Alright, you should call him.”

“No, I shouldn’t.” 

“You miss him don’t you.” 

“No! I was just talking to him, I saw him all morning!”

“Aw, you miss him!”

“Mary, leave me alone. The movie is back on.” Lily fell back against her pillows and pretended as though she was paying attention to the movie. Mary laid down practically on top of her and pulled out her phone. 

“I’m not ever going to leave you alone, don’t you dare suggest such a thing.”

“I thought you wanted to trade me in,” 

“Nope. You’re stuck with me. Now I’m going to text Reggie and if you wanted to take your phone back out, I’ll pretend not to see anything if you want.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue. “Don’t read my texts.” She said, and then pulled her phone back out. 

James Potter: Oh no. How long should I wait to presume that you’re in a coma? 

James Potter: You cant answer that because Mary is attacking you smh

James Potter: I’m not sure I’ve prayed since I was a kid but I’ll have a go at it 

James Potter: Sirius just told me he prays to the ghost of Freddie Mercury

James Potter: I’ll try that too

Lily Evans: I’m glad to know that you can keep up a conversation on your own. Am I even needed here? 

Lily Evans: Mary is now curled up against me like a cat. It appears that the danger has passed.

James Potter: Of course youre needed here. 

James Potter: What set her off?

Lily Evans: She saw your text accusing me of ripping out your hair

James Potter: ah. She was jealous. 

Lily Evans: I hope you know that I’m rolling my eyes

James Potter: Yes, I can feel it all the way out here. 

Lily Evans: Good

James Potter: What did you say to Mary to get her to be cat like?

Lily Evans: I said a bunch of mean things. Like ‘i don’t want to be friends any more’ and ‘leave me alone’ ‘get out of my room’ ‘you’re never been right about anything in your life’

Lily Evans: Clearly things escalated. I’m fairly sure she’s tattling to Reggie now 

James Potter: I have no idea what kind of fight you two were having now

James Potter: Was she not just teasing you?

Lily Evans: She’s got no bloody right to tease me

James Potter: Alright, I think that clears things up

James Potter: Tell your best friend that I think she’s great.

Lily Evans: I won’t. And don’t tell me what to do.

James Potter: Alright. On an unrelated note, can I have Mary’s number?

Lily Evans: As soon as you give me Sirius’ number. I’ve got a picture I want to send him.

James Potter: touche

James Potter: Now that we’ve established that we’re never trading numbers

Lily Evans: I’ll get his number eventually 

“Alright, Reggie is just as excited as I am.” Mary tossed her phone aside and Lily let hers fall against her chest. “I’m not going to read anymore! You have a right to your privacy now that I know that you’re flirting with him properly.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “What does that even mean.” Mary opened her mouth. “Don’t answer me!” 

“Fine. I just feel so vindicated.” 

“Literally nothing has changed.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Mary pulled her head back, giving herself a few more chins as she pursed her lips. 

“I mean, we’re getting to know each other better but-”

“I think it’s actually better for you if you don’t try and explain it, okay? Just do what you want, and I’ll do what I want. And what I want is to tease you as much as I possibly can, because you haven’t fancied a bloke in about six years, and at one point you fancied _my brother _of all people, which I don’t give you enough shit for as it is. Deal?” She stuck her hand out as though she was being reasonable.

“No deal!” Lily laughed and grabbed a few pretzels to chuck at her. 

“I love you, Lily Bean.” 

“I love you too, Mary Lu.” Then she frowned. “But I’m not sure how much I like you right now.”

“A whole bunch!” Mary laughed, throwing more pretzels at her. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like it's been a while since I've posted, but I think that's just because this week has seemed to go on forever and forever, but the good news is that I'm feeling like a real person again! My migraines have decided to leave me be for the last few days and I'm forever grateful for the reprieve. The last two weeks have been really hard, and my writing routine has gone down the drain, but I'm feeling like I can get back into the swing of things now!   
So here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Lily got quite a bit of work done Wednesday morning. She had a few meetings in town, and then a meeting with the children’s fund back at the castle. They gave her a report on how well the tea had gone and what they were hoping to do with the money that they’d raised. 

She was feeling pretty good by the time she went to go and find some lunch. 

And so of course, she ran into Bertram. 

“Oh, sorry,” She didn’t know why she apologized, he was reading in the hallway again, she hadn’t walked in on him. He was in a public space and her walking into that space didn’t warrant an apology. She clenched her jaw and shook her head.

“Are you going to lunch?” He asked, closing the book with his finger between the pages. It was Kurt Vonnegut today.

“Yeah, I have a few minutes.” She looked at her watch and then started toward the kitchen. 

“Would you mind if I joined you?” He asked, and when she looked back, he was standing up. 

Lily looked back at him and realized that she really didn’t have any strong opinions on this bloke one way or the other. And now that she realized that she didn’t have feelings for him, he didn’t seem nearly as intimidating as he had before. 

“Sure, if you’d like,” She shrugged a shoulder and then waited for him to catch up with her before she started toward the kitchen again. 

“You seem like you’re having a good day.” He commented. 

“I am having a good day! I spoke with the representatives from the charity tea last week, and the fundraiser did really well! They’re going to be able to build a new wing at the group home and fund six more scholarships with the money that we raised!”

“That’s fantastic!” Bertram smiled, and Lily remembered what he’d told them about his mother and how important this cause had been to her when she was alive. The passion seemed to have sparked something in him, and that was the first time that she’d seen that in him. 

“You know, if you’re not busy, we could use your help with the outreach campaign that we’re putting together. Our goal is to raise enough money for all the kids to go to school.”

It was an off-handed offer, one she expected him to take, but not one that she thought was a big deal. There were many people working on this initiative. And Alice, who was in charge of the project overall , was phenomenal.

“You’d like my help?” Lily cocked her head to the side. 

“It seems like it’s an important cause to you, I just figured that you might want to help.” 

He nodded, but he seemed disappointed by the way she worded that. “I think I would like that.” 

“I’ll have someone send you our schedule.” Lily grinned. 

They reached the stairs and Lily went down first. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out the sandwich that someone had made for her. She then walked over to the table and saw that Bertram was already sitting there without any food in front of him.

“Are you upset with me?” He asked as she sat down, setting her plate and her phone in front of her. 

“No,” Lily shrugged. “Why would I be upset with you?” 

He frowned. “Because of what I said about James.” 

Lily frowned. “I was upset with you.” 

“And now you’re not?” 

She shrugged, “I guess not. I hadn’t really thought about it.” She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. 

“I feel like I ruined something.” 

“What did you ruin?” 

He gave her a pointed look, and she felt like she should know what he was talking about, but she didn’t. He set his book aside and reached his hand toward her, but then pulled it back. He shifted in his seat. “We had- I mean, I thought that we’d had… I suppose it doesn’t matter.” 

Lily felt her cheeks heat up and looked down at her sandwich. 

They had had a few moments, but Lily was not going to sit here and talk about that with him. 

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” She said quietly, because even saying that felt like some kind of admission. She felt the need to look around the room to make sure that there was no one there, but she refrained. She hadn’t done anything wrong. “I’m going to marry James. That has been true since I met you.” 

He narrowed his eyes and looked up at her, and she could tell that he wanted to be as careful as she was being. “I know. You want to be queen.”

He said it so lightly, as though it wasn’t etched into every fiber of her being, as though she hadn’t spent the last six years of her life working toward the day that she would take over for her gran. He said it as though he didn’t understand the weight of what she was willing to take on for her people, for her country, as though he didn’t understand the importance of it. Like it was just another job that anyone could have. Like it wasn’t her once chance to make real change in the world.

“I do.” Her voice was still quiet. She knew that there were kitchen staff around somewhere, and she really didn’t want anyone to overhear her but she also wouldn’t mind if someone were to walk in and interrupt whatever this conversation was. “You don’t want to be king. You want to be a writer.” 

“And you don’t want to get married in two weeks.” 

“I’m going to marry James.” She repeated. 

“But you don’t want to.” 

She tapped her fingers against the table and stood up. “I think I should have lunch in my office today.” She said, picking up her plate. “I’m sorry, Bertram.” 

“Can’t we just talk about this honestly,” He stood up as well. “Can’t we just _say _it?” 

Lily shook her head, her lips pressed together. “No, I don’t think that there’s anything more to talk about.”

“That’s not fair, Lily.” 

“I know it’s not. But that’s the way that it needs to be. I thought you understood that.” And it’s not as though anything had happened, sure she’d had confusing feelings, but she didn’t think that she really fancied him so much as he confused her, and she found him attractive. Generally speaking, he made her feel angry or upset either about him or herself, and those weren’t the hallmarks of a good friendship. 

“I do,” He sighed, rubbing his hand along his jawline. “I do, I promise, I just don’t like it.”

“I’ll see you later, Bertram.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later, Lily.” 

Lily walked quickly back to her office, not sure if she needed to talk to Bertram again, declare more definitive boundaries and what not. That certainly sounded like a terrible and uncomfortable thing to do, but she didn’t really want him to keep trying to have conversations with her like he just had. 

She took a big bite of her sandwich and then pushed her door open, deciding that she would worry about Bertram the next time she saw him and no sooner. 

James sitting behind her desk with a large white box and a smirk sure helped to cement that idea for her. 

She laughed when she saw him and covered her mouth with the back of her hand so that she didn’t accidentally spit sandwich everywhere. 

“Honey, I’m home.” 

Lily finished chewing as quickly as she could, but not quickly enough to keep James from laughing at her. “What did you bring me?” 

“First you must tell me how much you missed me.” 

“I think that should come second actually,” Lily set her plate down on her desk and wiped her hands on her skirt. She knew that he’d be back this afternoon of course, but he still managed to surprise her. 

“And why would it come second?” 

“Because I might have missed you more if I like what’s in the box,” 

James let out a heavy breath through his nose. “That sounds about right.” 

“Well,” She nodded toward the box.

He flipped the lid up and revealed that he’d brought her a box of donuts. 

“I think I missed you a lot,” She said, forgetting about her sandwich and reaching for one of the chocolate donuts. James laughed and stood up so that he wasn’t sitting in her chair anymore. 

“Alright, now I know to give you gifts first.” 

She sat down in her chair and took a bite of her donut. “I mean, you could leave for more than twenty-four hours too, and then I might miss you more. Also we talked a lot last night. Kinda feels like you didn’t actually leave. Did you?” 

James sighed dramatically and sat down in the chair that usually sat members of parliament and whoever else got meetings with her. She much preferred him sitting there. “My fiancée has no concern for my feelings.” 

“That’s not true, I just think you enjoy a bit of drama.” She leaned against the desk, her feet now only a few inches from James’.

“And now you’re teasing me about it,” James looked at her over the tops of his glasses. She was sure that he couldn’t see her at all just then. Only the blurry shape of her. “And didn’t you try and kick Mary out of your life for teasing you last night?” 

Lily snorted and took another bite of her donut. “That’s completely different.”

“And very dramatic. I’m calling you a hypocrite right now. A double hypocrite.” 

“I know what you’re doing, and I’m ignoring it and eating this delicious donut.” She took another, larger bite.

Someone knocked on her door and Lily smiled at James and covered her mouth again. He smirked at her, “Come in!” 

The door opened and Bertram was standing there. The smile almost entirely fell from Lily’s face. She didn’t know where to look or how to act. She’d never been alone with both of them before. She’d been in a room with both of them many times, since they were both at dinner and breakfast most days, but she didn’t like this. She didn’t like this at all. This made her feel itchy and not good. 

“Hey,” He stepped into the room and held up her phone. “You must have left this in the kitchen. It was on the table.” And now he was making it sound like they hadn’t just had lunch together, which meant that it was supposed to be some kind of secret. She pushed her toes against the ground and nodded. “There’s a picture of you and Mary- it is yours, yeah?” 

She nodded, still chewing the large bite she’d just taken. James knocked his toes against hers and she looked up at him.

“She’s got her mouth full,” James said, and then held out his hand to take the phone, to be helpful or so that Bertram didn’t have to come any further into the room, Lily wasn’t sure, but she was very glad to see Bertram hand the phone over to James. 

She managed to swallow and cleared her throat, “Thank you. I’m not normally careless with it.” 

“You’ve got a lot on your mind lately.” He waved his hand and then turned to leave without saying anything more. Lily sighed and took another bite of her donut. 

James leaned forward and slid the phone onto her desk. She gave him a quick smile and started tapping her fingers against the desk. She should say something. She should tell James that she’d just been with Bertram. She should tell him that Bertram was acting weird, that they had had a few weird moments. 

But her tongue went dry and she didn’t know which words to use to try and explain any of that. And she didn’t want to tell him half-truths, though perhaps that would be better than no truths. 

“He’s up to something,” James said, breaking the silence. 

“You think?” Lily cursed herself in her mind. Why wasn’t she saying anything? 

“Yeah,” He nodded, and then his hand ran through his hair, Lily’s only clue that he was uncomfortable about something. She wondered if she had a tell like that, or if it was just written all over her face. He glanced at her and then looked at her sandwich. “Can I have some of that?” 

“Not all of it. I can’t just have donuts for lunch.” But she handed him the plate.

They were both quite, eating their respective food, and the sinking feeling in Lily’s stomach only grew.

“Alright, who should go first?” She sighed after a moment of silence. She didn’t like this kind of silence with James. Especially not after they’d just been joking and laughing a few minutes before. 

“What?” He blinked at her as he picked up the sandwich. 

“What’s on your mind? Spit it out.” She held her hand out as though she wasn’t also keeping things to herself, and she felt like a triple hypocrite. Though she’d set this up so that she’d have to tell him something too, that had to count for something. 

James sighed. “I don’t want to go first.” He ran his hand through his hair again. “I don’t want to say anything actually.” 

Lily frowned. She didn’t know what to say to that. Because whatever it was that James knew, she didn’t think it was so bad that he should say anything like that. “Well I don’t want to say anything either.” She frowned, realizing that that really wasn’t true. She did want to say something. She wanted to spit out the whole truth, even if it didn’t make her look so great.

James looked at her and then put the sandwich down. “Alright. I think he really wants the throne.” 

Lily blinked at James and shook her head. That was not at all what she’d been expecting him to say. “He doesn’t want the throne though. He’s told me that he doesn’t want it. A lot of people are trying to push him into staking a claim or to challenge me, but he hasn’t, because he doesn’t want the throne.” She was unsure about a lot when it came to Bertram, but not this, this she was positive about. 

James looked at her and then he shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe. I just… I’ve known him my whole life, Lily.” 

“Yes, but you’ve never gotten along with him.” 

“That’s true,” He nodded. “I haven’t.” 

That didn’t seem like a point in Bertram’s favor though, which is how she’d meant it. James couldn’t know what he wanted if he didn’t know Bertram, that was how she’d meant it.

But James was one of the easiest people to get along with that Lily had met in a long time. Her Gran liked him, Mary liked him, and Lily liked him. Those were three very strong personalities that he seemed to get along with just fine. 

And then there was the fact that Lily was the only one who seemed to like Bertram. 

She’s just been ignoring all kinds of things, hadn’t she?

This wasn’t really a realization that she had wanted to come to just then though. 

“He told me that he wanted to be a writer.” She tried anyway, because she still didn’t believe that Bertram wanted to be king. She remembered that James and Gordon had told her that he was an ambitious bloke, but she’d never seen that in him since they’d been talking. He just seemed a bit lost. 

“I’m sure he told you lots of things.” James picked up her sandwich again and took another bite. 

It wasn’t an accusatory thing to say, not really. It could have been, but it didn’t sound accusatory. But there was something about the way he said it that tipped Lily off. 

“He’s spoken to you recently.” She leaned back in her chair. They had been laughing not five minutes ago. How had things been mucked up so quickly? 

She didn’t know what to say next, she felt guilty, but she also felt like she’d been cuckolded. 

James stood up and started pacing. “I didn’t want to have this conversation.” He started, and Lily was surprised to see that he looked as though _he_ was feeling guilty. “I didn’t think that we’d need to, not after the last few days.” 

“I don’t think we do,” Lily said quickly, also standing. “I don’t really think that there’s anything to talk about.” 

He looked at her, and for a moment, his confusion masked his guilt. And Lily realized that they were talking about two different conversations. Bertram hadn’t told James that Lily had feelings for him, which meant that he’d told him something else that was making James act this way.

James must have realized this too because he sighed and started pacing again. 

“Is this where we play rock paper scissors to see who goes first?” 

“No,” James shook his head, “I’ll go first. I think I already know what you think you… I’ll go first.” He came back to the chair and sat down. Then he pushed his glasses up his nose and rubbed his face with both his hands. “I really like you, Lily.”

She shifted from one foot to the other and then sat back down on the desk. 

“I just want you to remember that, alright?” She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She had no idea what he was going to say next, but she didn’t want to hear it.

“Alright,” Her voice was quiet. 

“Can you remember that you kind of like me too?” 

“I think you’re stalling.” Lily cleared her throat. “But yeah, I’ll keep it in mind.” He gave her a small smile and she tried to return it, but just like when she’d first met him, she wasn’t sure if she was moving her face correctly. 

“It started at the State Dinner,” And then he was on his feet again. “Bertram wasn’t just talking to Sirius that night. That’s why Sirius was annoyed with me too, because he thought that I should be mad at you or something. I wasn’t though, because I hardly knew you and Bertram is good at practically everything, so I thought, ‘fine, I’ll just have to be better.’” He wasn’t making much sense, and she still had the knot of dread in her stomach. 

“So, he told me and Sirius that you weren’t going to marry me, that you were going to marry him. He said nothing about the fact that you’d already told him that that wasn’t going to happen, and Sirius and I didn’t know about how he would essentially take your throne from you if that happened at the time, so Sirius- well, both of us really, we thought that it might happen. I might get nudged out of the picture if he kept getting you to smile at him like he was. And Sirius kept telling me that it wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Because while we had gone to the dinner together, we hadn’t made any official announcement so it would be in the news for a week or two, and then they would forget about it in favor of everything else that was happening. 

“But then you came down the stairs and you were looking at me like you weren’t actually wishing that you were somewhere else, and you kept giggling and asking for biscuits and I didn’t want to leave you or step aside or whatever Bertram was trying to get me to do.”

Lily folded her hands on her lap and remembered the look on James’ face in that picture of Lily and Bertram. She’d been thick to think that he hadn’t noticed that she’d had at least some feelings for Bertram. James already knew, and she’d been feeling guilty thinking that he’d been in the dark. She still felt guilty, but it was different now. She stood up, only to move to the chair that James had vacated. She looked back up at him. He was still pacing, but he looked her in the eye before he continued.

“And then the next morning, you barely paid him any attention and you let me help you talk out how you were going to approach the press and you told me that you only wanted me here if I wanted to be here. You told me that you’d already spoken to Bertram and that there wasn’t a chance that you were going to toss me aside for him, and I decided then that I was all in. That I wanted to see if we could make something good together.” He’d been so kind to her that morning. 

“But then you forgot about our date- dinner, and I knew, I honestly knew that it was because of everything you had on your plate. When I first started toward your room, I had every intention of just reminding you and seeing if I couldn’t tease you into coming down to the kitchen anyway. I just wanted to spend time with you again and see if the night before was a fluke, if you had thought it was a fluke. 

“And then he was walking out of your room when I got up there, and I know that jealousy was a stupid reaction, but I couldn’t help it after what he’d said. And you were so calm and diplomatic about everything, and you wanted to talk everything out and you gave me your number and I felt better, but I couldn’t forget about the stupid look on his face when you’d started walking toward me.” She remembered thinking that he hadn’t left the corridor when she’d dismissed him. She had tried to get James to stop talking about Bertram because she hadn’t been sure if Bertram was out of earshot.

“He was waiting for me downstairs and- well I guess that was part of the reason I was so quick to get upset the next day. I didn’t want to get upset with you, I knew that expecting you to share everything with me after knowing me for less than a week was ridiculous, but I felt like I was racing someone who seemed to have some kind of advantage over me-”

“James,” Lily interrupted him. She’d let him go on for too long. “What exactly are you trying to tell me?” Because he’d seemed so worried that she was going to be upset, but he wasn’t really saying anything yet. She hadn’t known that Bertram had talked to him after he’d left her room, but why would she be upset with James about that?

He stopped pacing and seemed to realize that he’d been prattling on and on. “Bertram, he told me that he didn’t have to get you to marry him, because I’d told him that you told me that that wasn’t going to happen.” Lily narrowed her brow. “He said-” She held up her hand. 

“Rosier knew that we were getting engagement photos tomorrow.” She looked at James and frowned. “He told you that his plan was simply to get me to call off the wedding with you, didn’t he?”

James clenched his jaw and nodded. 

“He told you that Thursday of last week?” He nodded again. “And you didn’t think to mention it to me?” 

James opened his mouth once, twice and then a third time. “It seemed like you liked him.” He said softly, his hand in his hair. “I didn’t want to tell you if I didn’t have to. And after the last few days I didn’t think that I was going to have to tell you.” 

Lily felt herself flush with embarrassment, but she held James’ gaze. “Because you thought it seemed like I liked you now.” His hand raked through his hair.

“You didn’t need me to tell you that there was one more person trying to control your future.” Lily looked down at her lap and then back up at James. 

It made sense. 

She only ever ran into him when she was alone, the only time he seemed genuine was when he’d been talking to her about the children’s fundraiser, Rosier had known more than he should for the last couple weeks, the photograph in the paper. She’d always felt like something was off when she was around him, and he never seemed as though he was actually interested in her unless she was pulling away. Like today at lunch. 

“So you decided that the best thing to do was to just, keep all that to yourself?” She felt like an idiot.

“No, I just didn’t-“

There was a knock at the door. 

Lily felt as though someone had just submerged her in cold water and she looked over at the clock. It was nearly one. “Come on in Alice!” She called out, standing up so she could straighten her skirt. James looked a little bewildered. “We can talk more later. I have to get back to work.” She walked over and sat down behind her desk.

“Lily,” James moved her plate so that it was in front of her and she handed him the box of donuts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.” He said this quietly, because Alice Fortescue was walking into the room with a large tote bag full of posters and toys. 

“We’ll talk later,” She repeated, reaching for her water. She took a sip and then smiled at Alice. “It’s so good to see you! Frank and Adam will be here any moment and then you can start your presentation. I’m so excited that you were able to come today!” 

James clearly had more that he wanted to say, but she wasn’t going to ask Alice to step out in the hallway so they could continue a conversation that she’d never wanted to have in the first place. 

“Of course, your highness! I was so excited to be invited! I know that if we work together, we can do a lot of good for a lot of people. The hospital I work for is one of the leading research hospitals on the continent for childhood illnesses.” 

Lily nodded, and she was excited about the prospect of working with Alice’s organization, but she wished that the last thirty minutes had never happened. 

She wished that she hadn’t forgotten her phone in the kitchen. 

“Fantastic. Why don’t you set up and I’ll call Emma to see where the boys are?” 

“Perfect,” Alice grinned and then went about setting up all her props.

“I’ll see you later, James,” Lily dismissed him again as she picked up the phone and called Emma, “Afternoon, have you heard from Frank and Adam?” 

James’ shoulders dropped and he turned and walked out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to review!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! Extra happy Sunday because you all are getting two chapters today. I thought it would be mean to make you wait between the chapters and also, there wasn't like a good stopping point that I'd be comfortable leaving a week between, so it just worked out this way.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you enjoy!

Lily didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. 

That’s the only thing that she’d decided come the end of the day. 

She was walking toward her room when she’d decided that she needed to talk to Bertram. 

She was in her room when she decided that she definitely didn’t want to do that tonight. 

Amelia and Gwen were tidying up and she asked one of them to fetch her dinner. 

“Are you sure, ma’am?” Gwen asked, holding Amelia’s arm so that she couldn’t rush off to get the food. “Dinner is being served downstairs in a half an hour, ma’am.” 

Lily sighed. “I know, but I don’t feel as though I’m up for a family dinner just now.” 

“Would you like one of us to go and find, Ms. Mary?” 

Lily shook her head and sat down on her couch. “No, I’d just like some time to myself, I think. And some dinner please.” 

Gwen regarded her for a moment and then nodded. “Alright, I’ll go and get you some dinner. I’m sorry you’re having a rough day, ma’am.” 

“Thank you, Gwen.” Lily smiled. She and Amelia both left the room and Lily toed her shoes off and pulled her legs under her. She knew that she’d be more comfortable if she put her pjs on, but she just wasn’t in the mood at the moment. She didn’t feel as though she had the energy to walk across the room and get her pajamas. She didn’t even think that she had the energy to reach for the remote so that she wasn’t sitting in silence. She was glad that Amelia or Gwen had thought to replace the one that Mary had chucked out the window. 

She took a deep and heavy breath.

James had known that Lily had had feelings for Bertram the entire fucking time. 

And he’d also known that Bertram was trying to get Lily to abdicate the throne by taking advantage of those feelings and he hadn’t told her. 

Bertram did want the throne. And he was trying to get her to call off her wedding with James so that he could step in and take her place. 

If James was to be believed. 

And the more she thought about it, the more she started to think that he _was_ to be believed. She’d been confused about his short temper after they’d gone to the schools on Friday, and she’d sensed that Bertram was playing coy when James had been outside her room and Bertram had been leaving. And then there was the issue with the paper his uncle owned and Rosier knowing more than he should. 

She could really only be glad that she’d come to the realization that she didn’t really like Bertram before she found out that he was trying to use her. 

For some reason though, she still wanted to cry about the entire thing. 

Her phone was buzzing in her pocket, but she didn’t want to talk to Mary or James, and she was sure that it was one of them texting her. She set her phone on the coffee table and pushed herself up, forcing herself to go over to her closet and change. She would not sit on her couch and cry about a boy that she’d didn’t give two wits about. 

As for James? 

Well she didn’t quite know how she felt just then. She’d have to sleep on it. 

Mary MacDonald: Skipping dinner I see? Would that have something to do with the two sad boys that are down here and glaring at one another every so often? Gran and I are curious.

Lily Evans: I think you were right about Bertram. I just need some time to myself tonight. 

Mary MacDonald: I can respect that if I must. I am sorry about Bertram though. I didn’t want to be right.

Lily Evans: I know. 

Mary MacDonald: Why does James look like a kicked puppy?

Lily Evans: I don’t know if I’m mad at him or not. He knew that Bertram was trying to pull one over on me and he didn’t say anything.

Mary MacDonald: Should I glare at him for you?

Lily Evans: No. 

Mary MacDonald: Too late. I glared at both of them.

Lily Evans: Well don’t say anything. I don’t know how I want to play this yet.

Mary MacDonald: Alright. Let me know if you need a sounding board or copious amounts of chocolate

James Potter: I was hoping that later would mean after dinner

James Potter: Or later this evening at least 

James Potter: Alright, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning. 

James Potter: I am sorry

Lily Evans: Goodnight. We’ll talk tomorrow. 

Lily Evans: That sounded more ominous than I meant it to. I need a phrase that means the same thing but with like, half the ominous vibe

James Potter: Thank you for clarifying. My heart stopped for a minute. See you in the morning

Lily woke up the next morning feeling as though she’d been having strange dreams all night. She pulled her laptop into bed with her and got to work on answering emails and re-drafting the speech that she would be giving that evening. 

She sighed after answering just a few emails, remembering just how busy and long today was going to be. At least parliament was on recess because of the parade. That was one thing she didn’t have to worry about. 

After she’d finalized her speech, she emailed it to Emma to proofread and then closed her laptop and got up. She didn’t know what they would have her wear for the photo shoot, or even where they were going to get pictures done, but she didn’t want to talk to Bertram while she was in her pajamas, so she went into her closet and pulled out a pair of old jeans and a jumper. She always felt most like herself when she wore clothes from back home. And today, she really needed to feel like herself. 

She slipped on a pair of trainers and pulled her hair into a loose bun and did a once over in the mirror before she decided she was good to go. She needed to keep her nerve with her today. She was going to need it. 

It was still early, thanks to her anxiety about everything going on, she didn’t have a hard time getting up. When she checked her watch, she was surprised to find that it was only seven forty-five though. 

Breakfast started at eight, so hopefully Bertram would already be up. She really didn’t want to wake him up. 

She didn’t really want to go to his room either, but she really didn’t want to have this conversation in front of other people. She already felt like a fool for having trusted him at all, and now that she thought that he might be trying to pull the wool over her eyes, she didn’t want any witnesses to that. James already knew, and he hadn’t told her. 

She didn’t know how she felt about that.

She walked quickly through the halls and then knocked on his door with three sharp raps. 

She was surprised at how quickly the door was pulled open, and then Bertram was standing in front of her. For a moment, he looked confused, but then a smile started to come over his face. It was a dopey smile, a ‘I’m genuinely happy to see you’ smile. It was a ‘James misunderstood something’ smile. 

And even as she stood there, basking in the warmth of Bertram’s million-dollar smile, even as she let herself feel a bit taller because he was giving that smile to her, she knew that James wasn’t wrong. Because even though she liked the smile, and even though she wanted him to keep smiling at her, the bad feeling in her gut was still there. The one that had been there since the beginning. The one that she had tried to convince to go away. 

And she trusted James. Especially since he had told her what her gut had been trying to tell her since the beginning. 

“Morning,” He said, leaning up against his doorframe. “I’m not sure why you’re here, but I’m happy to see you.” 

“I can see that,” She smiled back, crossing her arms over her chest, her brain working quickly to put together a plan. She had originally just been planning to call him out right then, but now she wasn’t sure. If he knew that his plan wasn’t working, he might just try a new plan, a plan that she might not have any control over. If she pretended to go along with this plan, he would think that it was working, and she would be one step ahead of him instead of the other way around. 

They stood there smiling at one another for a moment and then Lily shook her head. “I just wanted to ask you if you’d made a decision about working for the children’s charity. If you have, I’m going to give Alice your number so she can add you to the next meeting.” 

He ran his hand along his jaw, “You’re not the one who’s in charge of those things?” 

She shook her head. “I can’t be in charge of everything, delegation is key. So?” 

“I’d love to help in whatever way I can,” He said, and she believed him. She believed that he did want to help the kids. But then his smile was gone, and she knew that he was going to bring up what happened yesterday before he did. And she felt far more ready for it now that she knew his feelings for her were false. Now that she knew she wasn’t in danger of hurting him. Not that he’d given her that consideration. “Look, Lily, about yesterday…” 

“Bertram, don’t worry about it.” 

“I wouldn’t have brought your phone back had I known that James was in your office with you.” 

“I know,” Lily said, and then quickly shook her head. “I mean, it’s fine. You can talk to me in front of James. And you didn’t need to lie to him. I’m allowed to have lunch with whoever I want.” 

“I know,” He said just as quickly as she had. “I know that, it’s just after the conversation we had- or the conversation we _didn’t _have, I wasn’t sure-”

“I don’t want to keep things from, James. He doesn’t keep things from me, and I don’t want to keep things from him. That’s why we didn’t have that conversation yesterday. That’s why we’re not going to have it.” She looked down at her feet and kept her voice quiet as she spoke. She hoped she was playing this right, that he wouldn’t see through her. She’d never been the greatest actress.

He nodded, “Are you sure though?” 

“What?” 

“Are you sure that James isn’t keeping anything from you?” 

She was thrown for a moment because James actually had been keeping something from her. “I trust him.” She said, tightening her arms over her chest as she debated whether or not that was the truth. Did she still trust him? She supposed he’d kept what he knew to himself mainly to protect her. Which was the same reason she hadn’t told him about her feelings for Bertram. They hadn’t wanted to hurt the other. Though he had been playing with the certainty of her crown, not just her feelings.

“You don’t sound certain.” 

She hardened her gaze and looked up at him, “You don’t get to tell me how I feel about James.” This came out without hesitation, without thought for how it would sound to Bertram.

He held his hands up, “You’re right. You’re going to marry him in a couple of weeks, less than a couple weeks, and you can feel whatever you want about him. That’s how feelings work.” 

Lily bit her bottom lip and clenched her fists at her side. “Why do you have to do that? Why can’t we just be friends?” 

That seemed to be the right thing to say.

Bertram pushed himself off the doorframe and took a small step toward her. “Because I don’t want to be friends.” 

It was the most direct that he’d been with her, and Lily forced herself not to take a step back. “Bertram you know that we can’t be more than that,” Lily felt as though she was in a soap opera now. He lifted his hand as though he was going to reach out and touch her cheek and she took a small step backward. 

“Right,” He sighed. “You know, eventually you’re going to realize that you can’t just keep doing what everyone else wants you to do. Eventually you’re going to have to take care of yourself too. You’re going to have to do what you want.” 

And that was probably the entire reason that she’d fallen for anything. He said things that she wanted to hear someone say, mixed in with all the shit that normally came out of his mouth. 

“This is what I want,” She held out her hand and looked at her ring. “I want to do what I believe is best for my country and my people.” She took another step back. “And if that’s not something that you’re okay with, then I think that your stay here needs to end earlier than planned.” 

He re-crossed his arms over his chest and watched her for a moment. Then he took a step back and nodded. “If that’s what you want, then that’s fine.” 

“It’s what I want.” She repeated.

“Alright.” He leaned against the doorframe again. “Have fun getting your picture taken today.” 

“Thank you, I will.” Lily pressed her lips together and decided to take the dismissal and turned on her heel and started walking away. 

Emma found her as she was walking down to get breakfast. 

She was wearing glasses that morning, her hair was a bit more wild than it normally was, and when she saw Lily she sighed loudly and pushed her glasses up to the top of her head. 

Then she sneezed. 

Lily took a step back. “You’re not feeling well.”

Emma took a deep breath and looked up at Lily, her glasses falling off her forehead and bumping against her nose. She straightened them and then shrugged, “I’m fine. You can’t wear that.” 

“I know that.” Lily said. “But I didn’t want to eat in whatever you were going to have me wear for the pictures.” Emma pulled out her phone and squinted, pushing her glasses closer to her face. “Emma, you can have the day off if you need it.” She said, knowing that she couldn’t tell Emma to go home. Emma didn’t take time off. “Of maybe just a few hours.”

“I took something a few minutes ago, it’ll kick in soon,” Emma waved off her concern and then put her phone in her pocket. “Alright, yes, you can go and eat. I forgot about that. But we’re still on track.” She shook her head again. “You eat, and then we’ll head out. I already have a trailer on site, and we’ll get ready there-” She held up her hand and sneezed again. “We’ll be back by noon.” 

“You don’t have to come.” Lily tried again. “If everything is all set up, you can go curl up in bed with a cup of tea and take a nap.” 

“I’m fine, it’s just a cold.” 

Lily was doubtful, but she nodded. “Alright, then I’ll go and have breakfast.” Emma nodded. 

“I’ll be down in a bit.” 

Lily was so distracted by Emma that she forgot that James would be in the dining room when she got down there. 

And so, she forgot to decide how she wanted to handle things with him. 

Instead, she walked in and was surprised to see him sitting in his chair, staring down at his plate, a fork in one hand and his hair in the other. 

“Morning, darling,” Anita smiled at her. “I see that you decided to take advantage of your morning off.” Lily looked down at her clothes and smiled.

“Emma is sick.” She said, walking over to the table and kissing her gran on the top of her head before she took her head. “I told her to take the day off.” 

“She won’t. She’ll be fine. If she gets worse, I’ll send her home. She can’t say ‘no’ to me.” Anita reached out in front of her and picked up a small orange pill. “Extra vitamin C.” She put it next to Lily’s plate.

“I didn’t want to ask her anything,” Lily picked up the pill and her glass of water. She swallowed and then looked back at Anita. “Where is the shoot taking place?” 

“Out near the cliffs. Emma did a great job with the concept. You’ll be in maroon and gold and white, and I helped pick out your dresses-”

“I could have helped pick out my dress.” 

“Dresses. Yes, but I did it for you.” Anita tapped the back of Lily’s hand with her finger. “Is there a reason that the two of you haven’t said a word to each other?” She moved her hand off Lily’s and toward James. 

Lily took in a breath and sat up straighter before she looked at James. And he looked back at her. She saw the unease in his eyes, the uncertainty and the hope. 

He’d lied to her. And it might have been hypocritical of her, since she hadn’t been completely honest with him, but she wasn’t happy with him. She wasn’t angry either, not exactly.

She looked back at Anita and shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She looked back at James. “Good morning.” 

His smile was thin and false. “Morning.” 

“Have you been to the cliffs before?” She asked. She and James needed to talk some more, but she didn’t want to do that in front of her Gran, and she didn’t want to discuss Bertram with her Gran just then either.

“I have,” He nodded. “Sirius and I have actually gone diving off the cliffs.” 

“Well there will be none of that today.” Anita chuckled, “Diving off cliffs, how did that ever become something that people wanted to do?” 

James shrugged, and this time his smile was real. “It’s fun.” 

“Good morning, everyone!” Mary walked in much more awake than she normally was at this time. And she was dressed very loudly. “Everyone tell me that they like my outfit!” She spun around as she pranced to her seat. 

Her skirt was denim and short, she had bright pink leggings on, a thick, black, jumper, her rainbow Doc Martins again, and her hair was wild and springy with a neon yellow headband keeping the curls off her face. 

“When does he get in?” Lily asked, smiling at her best friends. 

“Excuse me,” She bit her bottom lip and gave Lily a look. 

“You look ah-maze-ing.” Lily said as dramatically as she could manage. “When is Reggie getting in?” 

“Not for hours and hours still, but he could surprise me.” She looked over her shoulder toward a plant before she took her seat. 

“He’s supposed to get in after the parade.” Anita answered Lily’s question for Mary. “He has a maths exam to take this morning, so I don’t think he’ll be hiding behind any potted plants.” She said this to Mary. 

“You never know,” Mary shrugged. “He could have just said that to throw us off the trail.” 

“He could have,” Anita nodded. “I don’t think he did though.” 

“That just makes me think that you’re in on it.” She looked at James, “Right?” 

James raised his brow and nodded. “It does sound like she knows something.” James looked at Lily, probably confused as to why Mary wasn’t glaring at him like she said she had been last night. 

And then Mary realized that James was giving Lily a look and gave her a look of her own. 

Lily sighed and looked down at her plate. 

Why couldn’t they just have a nice, quiet day here at the castle?

“I’m excited to meet, Reginald.” James said, noticing the questioning look that Mary was now giving him. He managed to distract her, Lily wondered if he’d done that for her or for himself. 

“You’re not going to be mean to him just because your mate thinks he’s a git, are you?” 

“Nah, Sirius is a git. I’m sure Reginald is great.” James grinned and picked up his orange juice. 

“He is.” Mary grinned. “He got me these shoes for my birthday,” 

“They suit you.”

“They do.” Mary was done being distracted now and Lily felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She sighed again, not having noticed Mary texting at all.

Mary MacDonald: Have you two not talked yet?

Lily Evans: Can we not do this? It feels like secondary school.

Mary: Well you keeping secrets from me also feels like secondary school

Lily: When did I keep secrets from you in secondary? And you already know the gist of it all

Mary: You didn’t tell me that you were a princess for like two weeks after you found out

Lily: That hardly counts

“Girls, put your phones away, please.” Anita pressed her lips together. 

Mary: That def feels like secondary

Lily: agreed

James face almost made Lily laugh when she looked at him this time. She didn’t laugh though, that would have been mean. But she’d never seen him look so unsure of himself before. James was always the calm and confident one of the two of them. He took things in stride and knew how to keep his cool. And here he was, looking as though the top of his head was going to fly off to the other side of the room. 

“So what are you going to do all morning?” Lily asked Mary. 

“I normally find ways to entertain myself you know.” Mary shrugged, filling her plate. “But I’ll probably do some homework- or pretend to at least. I’ll mostly just wait for Reginald to pop out from wherever he’s hiding so I can snog him silly.” 

“He has a test this morning, Mary,” Anita reminded her again. 

“Gran, if you keep saying that, she really is going to think that he’s coming early.” Lily warned, because it did almost sound like she was trying to cover for him. 

A while later, Emma reappeared and ushered James and Lily out of the room and toward the front of the castle. 

“It’s a bit of a drive to the cliffs,” She said, her nose making her voice sound even worse than when Lily had spoken with her earlier. “But we won’t be there long, everything is going to run smoothly, and we’ll be back with plenty of time to get ready for the parade.” 

“I don’t doubt it.” Lily nodded, doing her best to keep her distance, but hopefully in a way that didn’t make it obvious that that was what she was doing. 

Emma must have noticed anyway because when they reached the door, she sighed and turned toward them. “I don’t want to get either of you sick, that would be a tragedy this close to everything that’s going on. We all have so much to do, but I also don’t trust anyone else to make sure that everything goes smoothly today, or I would go home. I’ll ride in the front with Moody and I won’t touch anything, and I won’t breathe on you.” 

“I’m not worried about getting sick,” Lily tried to assure her, but she was worried about it. She’d gotten the flu last year during a state function and Rosier and the men in his pockets had spent the evening bashing her for not being there and caring little for Gryffindor customs and traditions. 

She couldn’t imagine what they would say now that they were trying to take her crown away. 

She wondered what Bertram would do.

Her stomach churned and she smiled at Emma. She should probably tell her what was going on. 

Though, maybe when she wasn’t sick. 

“Alright, he’s here,” Emma opened the door and waved them out ahead of her. James stayed near her as they walked down the stairs and opened the door for her before Moody could get there. She muttered her thanks and then climbed into the car, glad that Emma hadn’t made her change her clothes before they headed out. She’d be much more comfortable in her jeans and jumper than she would have been in a skirt and jacket during an hour-long car ride. 

She also thought she might need the extra comfort for the conversation that she knew was coming.


	22. Chapter 22

As soon as the door to the car closed, James rounded on her. 

“I’m so sorry, Lily.” And his hand was in his hair. “I should have told you everything sooner, and I should have-”

“James!” She raised her brow and shook her head. “James, stop!” 

“No,” He shook his head as well and the car started forward. This was going to be a long ride despite her comfy clothes.

“No,” He repeated. “You said that if we were upset with one another then we needed to talk about it and that we couldn’t just keep it all inside. _You _said that. And now you’re upset with me and you’re not talking to me and it’s driving me crazy!” 

It certainly looked that way. 

“Who said that I wasn’t talking to you?” She asked, though that wasn’t really his point, but it was the easier of the problems to deal with.

He gave her a look. “You didn’t talk to me this morning until your gran pointed it out, and then- Alright, fine. So, you are talking to me?” 

“Yes. I just didn’t want to talk about everything in front of my Gran and Mary.” He understood that, right? He understood that she was embarrassed about this all. 

“Alright.” He nodded, but she didn’t let herself hope that he could actually read her mind. “Alright, so we can talk now?”

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and nodded. “Yeah, we can talk now.” 

“You’re upset with me.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Of course, I am.” She nodded again. He sighed, his hand back in his hair. 

“I knew it.” 

“You should have!” She almost laughed. He was completely ridiculous. “You knew that he was trying to get me to fancy him so that he could stop me from marrying you, forcing me to give up the throne, and you didn’t tell me!”

“Well I didn’t think his plan was working, or I would have told you sooner!” 

“It was sort of working,” Lily shot back, hating that it was true, but needing to actually say it out loud. 

James pressed his lips together, “Maybe at first, but I got your attention shortly after the State Dinner and then it just seemed superfluous to tell you. And I didn’t want-” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “You weren’t going to give up your crown for him. You wouldn’t do that for anyone.” 

She nodded, thinking that through for a moment, “You’re right. My crown was never in danger. Though someone was trying to take it from me and you should have told me that.” She looked up at him and frowned. “And my pride is kind of bruised.”

James let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, mine too.” 

It took her a minute to figure out what he meant by that. “I didn’t want to have feelings for him.” This she blurted out without thinking. He looked over at her with his brow raised. 

This was going to be a long trip indeed. 

But James surprised her yet again. “I kind of got that feeling.”

It was her turn to give him a look. “What does that mean?” 

“Well Mary said-”

“Hold on! You talked to Mary about this?” 

James shook his head quickly. “No- I mean, sort of. She kept telling me that it wasn’t a lost cause, that you didn’t really like him-”

Lily put her hand up in front of her, feeling both betrayed and furious at the moment. “Stop.” She said, even though he’d already stopped talking. “Stop, you and my best friend were talking about me behind my back?” 

“Don’t say it like that, Lily,” James’ voice was quiet. “When she first spoke to me it was to put the fear of God into me, make sure that I was nice to you and whatnot. But then Bertram showed up and started throwing his pretty smiles your way and Mary came to ask me questions about him because she knew that we’d gone to school together.”

“I asked for your opinion on him as well. All you told me was that he was ambitious.” 

“I know,” James was still talking quickly. “I know, and I would have said more if you’d asked me a day later or so, but when you asked me, I hadn’t seen him in a while and I thought it’d be unfair to poison the well before you’d gotten the chance to make your own judgment. I also didn’t think that you’d like me bad mouthing the bloke if you were going to decide that you liked him anyway.” 

“But I didn’t!” Lily huffed in frustration. “I didn’t like him at all when I first met him! He was smarmy and arrogant and loud and disrespectful, and I wanted to kick him in the shin!”

“That didn’t last very long though.” 

“I would have lasted if you’d told me the truth.” 

He clenched his jaw and nodded. “If I could go back-”

“But you can’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What if I’d actually really liked him? Were you just going to let him break my heart?” She paused and turned to look at James now, keeping her arms in place over her chest. 

James seemed to chew over what he wanted to say, his jaw staying clenched. He shook his head. “No. No, I wouldn’t have let it get that far.” 

“Why did you let it get as far as it did? I mean he’s been here for two weeks, and you haven’t told me that he’s been goading you and threatening my crown? We promised not to keep secrets from each other?” 

He scoffed, “That’s rich.” 

“Yes, I know. I’m a hypocrite because I didn’t tell you that I was having weird and unwanted feelings for someone who you knew was _trying to steal my crown_!” She turned toward the window and wished that she could sink into the seat. Normally when she was upset with someone, seeing them made her much less upset. But talking to James had only made things worse it seemed. 

They were quiet for a long while. Lily refused to look anywhere but out the window. She could tell that James was once again looking for something to say. 

And he found it after some time. “I’m very competitive, Lily.” She knew this of course, but it seemed as though it was completely random, so it threw her for a moment, and she forgot to not look at him. “I didn’t want to win you over by disqualifying the other bloke you were interested in. I didn’t want to be your only choice.” He ran a hand through his hair. “If that was why you’d started talking to me, then you would have grown to resent me.” 

He was probably right, and some of her anger disappeared with his words. But not all of it. The pain shown through a bit more clearly now though. “We’re supposed to be partners.” She said, hating the fact that her voice cracked. She spoke more quietly to keep her voice steady. “We’ve not had the easiest go of things, and we talked about how important it was to be honest with one another.” 

“Lily, I didn’t want to hurt you either. Which is why you weren’t honest with me, right?” 

“Yes, but it was more than that.” She narrowed her brow and shook her head. “No, I didn’t tell you because I felt completely ridiculous. I mean at first, I didn’t tell you because it would have been mortifying. I didn’t really know you but I knew that everyone was expecting me to fancy you and so I didn’t want to tell you. Because I didn’t want to have feelings for him, and I felt like some stupid girl in a romcom falling for someone they know is not a nice person. It only took me a few days to realize that I didn’t actually like him. He makes me feel bad about myself and- It doesn’t matter. He’s not a nice bloke, and I worked that out on my own. But that’s why I didn’t tell you, I guess. To save your feelings but also to save face.”

“What do you mean he makes you feel bad about yourself?” 

“It’s not important.” She looked down at her hands and started wringing her fingers.

“Yes it is. What did he say to you?” 

“I don’t care what he said to me.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue. “He was pretentious and condescending, but I don’t think he even knew that he was doing it. Everything he said rang with an air of insincerity.” 

“Don’t do that.” 

“Don’t do what?” 

“Don’t start talking to me in your customer voice.” Was she? She hadn’t noticed. “I’m sorry, Lily. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth from the start, that I was selfish and eager to win you over despite the competition. It won’t happen again.” 

“Can you just tell me everything that happened?” 

“Of course,” He was quick to agree. “But only if you promise to do the same. 

Lily wasn’t as quick to agree. “Nothing actually happened.” She said. “He never kissed me or anything. Mainly he just tried to tell me how much I didn’t like you.” James pressed his lips together. He’d looked relieved at first, but then he looked angry. “Like after the engagement, I ran into him in the kitchen.”

“Was that the real reason it took you so long?” 

Lily shook her head. “No, I all but ran out of the kitchen as soon as the hot chocolate was done.” Apparently, she was going first.

So, she told him about how she’d kept running into him in the hallways or the garden, how he always seemed to be carrying a book, but how she never thought he was actually reading the books. She told him about how he’d stuck up for Parliament and then told her that she’d be a good queen all in one go. She told him that she’d been angry with him and herself for letting the situation escalate. She told him about how she’d vented to Mary and how she resolved to simply not allow them to be alone anymore. 

She told him about how he’d asked her to dance at the ball and how she’d tried to come up with excuses to why she had to say no, she’d tried to walk away from him, but then he’d asked again and she said yes because she was afraid of being rude and because they weren’t alone, so it didn’t count as breaking her rule. 

She told James about how he’d come to her room the following night and she hadn’t let him in her room until after he’d told her that his uncle had owned the paper that ran the story about him cutting in line. She told him about how she hadn’t been suspicious or upset with Bertram, but how he’d turned her good will into something else. She tried to explain how she’d felt stuck, and then she explained that after she’d spotted James, she tried to get him to stop talking about Bertram so quickly because she hadn’t been sure if Bertram was trying to eavesdrop on them or not. 

She told him how Mary had yelled at him on Saturday morning since even though she’d realized that he made her feel bad about herself by then, she still hadn’t worked out how to yell at him herself. 

She hated telling James what Bertram had said in the kitchen after they’d gotten engaged, but she wanted full honesty from him, so she gave him full honesty as well. She told him about how she’d started to have lunch with him before James had gotten back from his parents, and how much easier it had been to talk to him now that she knew for certain that she had no interest in him whatsoever but how he’d still managed to put her on edge by trying to start a conversation that she hadn’t thought they needed to have.

“And that’s everything.” She said, shrugging her shoulders. “There were a few times when I wanted to tell you what was going on, but at first it seemed ridiculous because I’d only known you for a few days and we weren’t even really friends yet, and then it seemed ridiculous because I felt like telling you would make it mean something that it didn’t. I still should have been honest with you though.” 

He’d been quiet through her entire monologue. It had been easier to tell him everything than she’d thought it would be. And she felt better after saying it all as well. It had been weighing on her to keep it from him, but it also felt good to explain everything out loud for herself. 

“He didn’t seem to badmouth me as much as I thought he had been.” This was the first thing James said. Lily shrugged. 

“I think he knew that I wouldn’t have let him.” He nodded, but his expression was blank, so she didn’t know what he was thinking. She took off her shoes and pulled her legs up under her. “I think it’s your turn now.” 

James glanced over at her and then down at his lap. “Alright,” He didn’t look happy about it and rubbed his hands over the tops of his legs and then leaned forward, so his elbows were resting on his knees. “When you first told me that you weren’t going to marry Bertram because doing so would mean giving up your crown, I thought that you would have married him if that hadn’t been the case.” Lily didn’t interrupt him, because he hadn’t interrupted her. “He seemed so sure of himself when he’d brought it up, and so I figured that there had to be a reason, which I guess was just to get in my head, but still. 

He didn’t say a whole lot the first couple of days that he was here, we mainly just kept our distance and spoke civilly when we had to, but then we went to the ball and he danced with you.” He looked over at Lily, his head still propped up on one hand. “He came over to me and Sirius afterward, and I told you some of what he’d said, about counting chickens and insinuating that you were going to choose him over me, but he also told me that it would be easier on everyone if I just bowed out gracefully.” He sat himself up again and shook his head. 

“He didn’t tell me then that he was planning on stealing your throne. But when you told me the next day that you’d told him that you wouldn’t marry him, I kind of thought that might be his plan. He seemed to be making whatever the two of you had into something that you didn’t think that it was, and he only seemed to be doing that for my benefit. I assumed that he was trying to get me to leave so that he would be there to swoop in as a viable second choice. 

“I confronted him about it after Vernon, Peter and I went golfing. I told him to leave you alone, to stop messing with your head and lying.” He skipped over the confrontation that they’d had on Thursday when she’d missed their date, but he’d already told her about that back in the office. “He told me that I was just jealous, which was true, but I knew that there was more to it. I told him what you’d told me, and his response was to laugh and ask me what I was so worried about then?” He shook his head again and Lily wanted to reach out and take his hand. But she also didn’t want to do that because she was still upset with him.

“I mean most of it was just smug looks. And I can deal with smug looks, but then on Monday, I heard him talking to someone out in the garden, and he was angry, shouting at them about poll numbers and photographs. So I went out into the garden and asked him what all the yelling was for. I didn’t see who he’d been talking to, but he got all flushed and tried to stalk off.” He pushed his glasses up his face and rubbed his eyes. “He wasn’t kind, Lily. I’m not going to repeat what I heard him shouting or what he said to me next. But it was very clear that he didn’t think highly of you or your Gran.”

“Just tell me what he said.” Lily shook her head. “The gist of it.” 

He looked very uncomfortable again and let out a sigh. “He was saying how you were unfit to be queen. How the country has been through enough. He said that he had you in the palm of his hand- none of which is true! You’re going to be a great queen, just like your gran!”

Lily didn’t need James to try and boost her up just then. “And you didn’t tell anyone?” 

“I told Emma.” James looked toward the front of the car. “She said that it didn’t matter what he said to anyone because he’d signed an NDA and if anything he said about you ended up in print, he’d be sued for everything he owned. She seemed to miss the point, but she didn’t seem surprised by any of it, so I figured he had already been on her radar, which meant that he was on your Gran’s radar, which meant I didn’t have to do anything else.”

“You didn’t want to do anything else.” 

“I didn’t want to tell you any of that.” He agreed. 

She nodded. 

The hurt was subsiding. The anger had all but gone. They’d talked it out and it made sense to her. She hadn’t shared things with him either, they were both in the wrong, but they were fixing that now. 

Bertram had done his best, and almost succeeded, at worming his way in between James and Lily. He’d planted seeds of doubt wherever he could and made it seem as though Lily had a more enticing offer with someone else. 

“Bertram is a real bastard.” She said after a moment of quiet. It hadn’t been silent though because James was knocking his foot against the door. He stopped when she spoke. 

“He really is.” He agreed quietly. 

Her hand itched to find his. “I didn’t tell him that I knew what he was up to.” 

“You going to have your Gran kick him out?” 

Lily shook her head. “No, I think it’s best to let him think he’s succeeding. That way he doesn’t try anything new.” 

James nodded. “So you’re going to pretend that you don’t want to kick him in the shin?” 

“I might end up kicking him in the shin,” Lily muttered, but then shook her head. “No, I’m going to play the part he wants me to. And then, in two weeks, when we get married, there will be jack shit he can do about my being queen.” 

“Did I ruin everything?” 

She looked at him, nearly rolling her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.” 

“I’m not being dramatic, you almost cried a few minutes ago.” 

“I almost cry all of the time. Another thing you can add to the list. I don’t like red wine, I’m obsessed with Hallmark movies and I almost cry, constantly.” 

James clenched his jaw and nodded. “So, you’re not chucking me?” 

“That’s be kind of inconvenient at this point.” But that had been the wrong thing to say, which she realized when she looked at him. “James,” And finally she let herself take his hand. “Even if it was convenient, I wouldn’t chuck you over this. I don’t know why you think people aren’t allowed to be upset with each other, but they are. And it’s usually not the end of the world.” 

He squeezed her hand like he might not let go of it. “You asked me if I was ready to leave when I was mad at you.” 

“That was weeks ago, and what did you say to me?” 

James almost smiled. “I told you that I wanted to be here so long as you wanted me here.” 

“That’s not what I was remembering, but sure.” He smiled now. 

“So you’re upset with me, but you’re not chucking me.” 

“Yes.” She tilted her head back against the seat and turned to look at him. “I’m even more upset that you took the donuts with you yesterday and that they’re not here right now. Are you hiding them from me?” 

She could tell that he was doing his best to keep from laughing, which she knew would have been from relief more than anything. “You don’t want day old donuts. I’ll get you some new ones.” She kept looking at him. “And some more chocolate from the shop downtown.” She narrowed her eyes, wondering what he’d promise her next. “And this biscuit,” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a strawberry biscuit that she knew hadn’t been served with breakfast. 

She pressed her lips together, but there was no use pretending that she wasn’t going to take the biscuit. So she reached out and took it. “I think that’s my second favorite thing about you.” 

“That I’m a biscuit dispenser?” 

“That you’re willing to ruin your suits for my sweet tooth.” 

“My hair is your first?” 

“Nah, that’s Mary’s favorite thing about you. Probably. I don’t know for certain since you two chat with one another all the time.” 

“We do not.” He squeezed her hand again. “It was only a couple of times, and we didn’t talk about you so much as we talked about me and what I should be doing if I wanted to win you over. Which I do, very much want to do.” 

She felt her stomach tighten, and she almost told him that he had already won her over. But then she wasn’t sure in what way he meant it and so she decided to keep quiet. 

It took her a moment to realize that he wasn’t going to ask her what her favorite thing about him was. She looked at him, her lips pressed together. Did she want to tell him just then? His shoulders were tense, and he was doing his best to avoid looking at her. He clearly wanted to know, and she hadn’t said anything about his comment just then. 

She took another bite of her biscuit and sighed, “I never feel like I have to be something that I’m not with you. I never feel like you’re performing for me. My favorite thing about you is that you just accept people the way they are, that you’re always kind and understanding and giving. I didn’t expect you to be someone that I could anchor myself to.” The last twenty-four hours, notwithstanding. 

His brow had narrowed while he listened, little creases forming in his forehead. His hair was more of a mess than usual, because of how much she’d stressed him out since they had gotten in the car. The tension was gone from his shoulders now though. 

After a moment, he looked down at his hands and Lily let out a breath. “That’s a lot of nice things you just said about me.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue and looked down at her hands as well. 

“I say nice things to you all the time.” She said, and she was fairly certain that it was the truth. She made him blush often enough anyway.

He wasn’t blushing now though. 

“Yeah, but that was really nice. And you’re upset with me, so I feel like it was even nicer.” 

“I’m not _that _upset with you. It’s not as though I was entirely faultless here.” She sighed again, leaned against the window and started playing with the laces on her shoes. 

“You didn’t want to tell me that you fancied a bloke you knew was a dick.” James’ head leaned back against the seat. “When you asked me about him, I should have just told you that he had started a bar fight in Brustles with Remus. I still don’t know why that happened, but who fights with Remus? Or I could have told you that he used to have his father donate money to our school to get his good grades. Or anything else. But I didn’t.”

“Yes, but you didn’t like him, and you seem to like everyone, so I should have known something was off.” 

“Don’t do that.” He shook his head. “Don’t try and-”

“I’m not. I’m just owning up to the fact that this whole problem was created by both of us, not just you.” She had wanted to believe that Bertram was good and honest. She hadn’t wanted to listen to anyone else’s opinion about this _one _thing. And she’d picked a poor thing to ignore other people’s advice on. She didn’t always have the greatest judge of character. She knew that she was too forgiving and too willing to find the good where there wasn’t enough. She’d just been feeling so caged in, so backed into a corner, that she had willed herself to be blind to the problems that Bertram brought with him. 

“I like that I don’t have to put up a front around you either.” 

“You did at first. You kept acting like everything was perfect and that nothing upset you. I had to yell at you to get you to tell me that you were upset with me.” 

“Well, I wanted to make a good impression. Also, I guess you’ve realized that I’m not the greatest at conflict.” 

“I’m very good at conflict.” Lily gave him a small smile, still holding his hand. “I enjoy getting to chew people out when they deserve it. And I’m pretty good at telling people when they’ve upset me. And I’m _really _good at yelling at people when they hurt my friends- er, Mary.” 

“I’ll work on it.” 

“Let’s just make another pact.” Lily let go of his hand and turned to face him. 

He turned toward her as well. “What kind of pact.” 

“No secrets.” She held out her hand. 

James hesitated for a moment. “No secrets at all?” 

Lily shrugged her shoulder, “You know what I mean.”

James nodded and took her hand.

The partition slid down and Emma’s face appeared, just as flushed and sickly looking as before. “We’ll be there in about five minutes.” She was even harder to understand than earlier. “The trailers are already there. We’re going to do two costume changes, but if you do what you’re supposed to, it’ll be fast. You will be cold though.” 

“You better be bundled up the whole time.” Lily said sternly. “Or in the trailer.” 

“I’ll be bundled up. I want to overlook everything.” And then she slid the partition up so that Lily couldn’t argue with her. 

“Can your gran tell her to take time off?” 

Lily nodded. “I’ll call her after the shoot if Emma doesn’t go home.” 

James nodded.

Soon the car was stopping at they were at the cliffs. Lily realized that neither she nor James had a coat, and it was much colder here than at the palace. The wind coming in from the ocean and off the cliffs, cut through her sweater. 

James was whisked away to one trailer and Lily to the other. She was shoved into a dark, maroon colored gown, which had sleeves, but it felt like silk, so it would do nothing to keep her warm. 

“Can I wear leggings under it?” She asked one of the women who was working on her hair. She shook her head. 

“No, Emma didn’t give us leggings.” 

“She’s definitely going to get me sick.” Lily muttered. 

“I am not going to get you sick.” Emma walked into the trailer, bringing in a blast of cold air with her. “I was hoping that it would be warmer this morning, but this is what we have to work with. Don’t worry though, as long as you and James look at each other like you did in that photo from the greenhouse, then we won’t be here long.” 

Lily swallowed and bit down on the tip of her tongue. “Right.” Except she hadn’t known that there was anyone watching her when she was in the greenhouse. And she had been tipsy. There had been no expectations then either. She had just been smiling at him because he’d made her smile. 

Things were still weird between them now. 

And these were their engagement photos, which carried a whole slew of implications. 

Soon they had her all dolled up and she was all but shoved out of the door and walked over to the cliffs, where James was already waiting. 

“Well that’s just not fair at all.” Lily said when she saw him. “He gets to wear a tux and I’m in this silk scrap of fabric?” 

“It’s a very modest dress.” Emma argued. 

“She’s going to freeze.” James said. 

“We won’t let her freeze.” Emma waved her gloved hand. “Now get over there and do what you’re told so she can get back in the trailer. 

Lily took his arm and pulled him toward the camera. They were set up in front of a cliff. “Alright. Let’s do this.” 

“What do they want us to do? No one really gave me any instructions.”

“Look at me like you did in the greenhouse picture.” Lily said. “That’s what Emma said. Or at least that’s what I heard. It’s v-v-v-very hard to unders-s-stand her.” 

“Why are we doing this outside?” 

“I’m f-f-fine.” Lily shook her head. “We’ll only b-b-be out here for a m-m-minut-t-te.”

He wrapped his arm around her and even the heat she managed to leach from him didn’t do much to keep her warm. 

Someone told them where to stand and then the photographer was in front of them, telling them what he wanted from them and where they were supposed to stand. 

It was weird. It was awkward. And Lily was freezing, but Emma hadn’t lied. It didn’t take long for them to get whatever it was that they wanted. 

By the time they got around to the third outfit, which kept Lily as warm as the first one had, Lily was smiling and laughing along with James easily. She was still freezing, and her teeth were chattering, but it was fine, they were having fun.

And then they were back in the car, and James pulled her against his side and started rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “They could have given you a blanket or something.”

“I’ll blast the heat,” Moody said, before Emma slid the partition back up. She was keeping her word about doing whatever she could to keep Lily from getting sick, but she could have waited until Lily responded to Moody before she closed the partition. 

“I’ll keep you warm until the heat comes on.” 

“They should have let me wear a tux.”

James nodded. “They definitely should have.” 

“Yeah? I’d look great in a tux.” 

“You really would.” He pulled her a bit closer and she laughed. 

“Are you placating me?” 

“No.” He looked down at her. “No, I think you would look really good in a tux. Honestly.”

“Good.” She nodded. “I should wear more suits and less skirts. Trousers are infinitely more comfortable.” She tilted her head to the side. “Well not really, but I don’t like being the only one wearing a skirt when parliament is in session. And you can’t crisscross your legs in a skirt.” 

“Well then, maybe you should give it a go tomorrow.” 

Lily laughed. “I don’t own any suits, or I would. Also, tomorrow is Friday, so Parliament is not in session.”

“Are you visiting schools again?” 

“Yes, but secondary schools this week. Which is still fun, but I think I prefer visiting primary schools and nurseries. Their questions are easier to answer.” 

James laughed. “I can imagine.” 

“Would you come with me again?” She looked up, but since he had her pulled against his side, she couldn’t see his face very well, only the bottom of his jaw and his ear. 

“I’d love to.” 

“Good.” She settled against him and smiled to herself before remembering what the rest of the day would bring. “James, we have to be outside all day.” 

He sighed, “I know.” 

“And you can’t keep me warm like this all day,” She added forlornly. 

“No, I suppose I can’t,” He chuckled. “Though, perhaps we’ll be a bit smarter and bring some coats with us.” 

“Yeah, maybe. That sounds like a good idea.” 

“It really does.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment!


	23. Chapter 23

Lily didn’t realize that she’d fallen asleep on James until the car stopped and the door was ripped open, though the air was a lot less biting here at the castle than it had been at the cliffs.

“Lily,” Emma was standing in the doorway, looking miserable and furious. “What the hell is this?” She was looking at her phone, and Lily had no idea what it was, because Emma wasn’t showing it to her. Lily sat up and looked at James, who shrugged. 

“Are you going to show me?” 

“Get out of the car,” Emma said, and Lily sighed, but did as she was told. 

“You need to go and rest,” She said. “You look-”

But then Emma’s phone was being shoved under her nose and a picture of Lily and Bertram from that morning was covering her screen. Lily sighed, running her hand through her hair. “Go and get some rest.” She repeated. 

“I can’t _now!_” Emma shook her head. “Why do you keep doing this to me? Do you want me to die young? Do you want me to never get more than three hours of sleep at a time?” 

“Go and sleep now. I’m telling you to do nothing about this.” 

“What is it?” James asked. 

“Bertram.” Lily very nearly rolled her eyes. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that I talked to him this morning. I was going to confront him, but then I decided not to when I saw his stupid face.” James peered over at the picture, cleared his throat and nodded. 

“That’s a dangerous line to walk.” He said, but he didn’t look upset. She had told him that that was her plan after all. 

“Yeah, but-”

“Someone needs to fill me in.” 

“I think you’re already filled in.” Lily said a bit sharply , remembering what James had told her. “Bertram is trying to seduce me into giving up my throne.”

Emma bit her bottom lip. “I still have to do something about this, even if you want to play with him.” 

Lily looked around for nearby ears, but all she saw was Moody, and he gave her a nod to let her know that there was no one around. 

“We do have to do something.” Lily agreed. “We have to find whoever took that picture and sold it to the press. They shouldn’t be allowed in the castle anymore. And that’s not your job, right Moody?” 

“Right’o, Princess.” 

“So go and get some rest.” Lily said for a third time. Emma’s shoulders deflated and she nodded her head once. 

“Alright. Just,” She shook her head. “Just stay away from him until I’m feeling better, alright? My brain feels so foggy right now that I can’t think straight.” 

“Promise.” Lily nodded. “I’ll wait to yell at you until you’re feeling better too.” 

Emma sighed. “Much appreciated.”

The party walked into the castle and Emma went off to her room, Moody went to check some tapes and Lily and James started toward the dining room, hoping to find that lunch had been set up. 

“Lillian Jane!” Lily froze in the middle of the hallway and spun around on her toes. 

“Reginald!” 

And there was Reggie, bouncing black curls, big pointy smile and arms wide open. Lily met him in the middle and threw her arms around his neck. Mary wasn’t far behind them and she joined in on the hug as well. 

There was a lot of commotion for a few minutes as Lily and Reggie said over and over again how good it was to see one another, and how excited they were about him visiting, and gave a few more hugs. 

“I’m so glad that you came early.” Lily said. “Mary would have been so disappointed if you hadn’t.” 

“She knew of course. I tried to make it a surprise by telling Anita that I had exams today, but really they were yesterday.” He slung an arm around Mary’s shoulder, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. “Can’t get anything past this one though.” 

“Actually, you can.” Lily smirked. “You’re about a foot taller than her. It should be rather easy.” Reggie snorted and then stood up straight, resting his elbow on top of Mary’s head.

“Stop it!” Mary shoved him away. “James, come meet, my boo.” 

James had been standing off to the side, uncharacteristically quiet. “Yeah, what are you doing over there, come here,” Lily held out her hand to James and he stepped up to them with a small smile. “Reginald, this is James.”

“Ah, yes. I’ve heard much about your hair.” Reggie held his hand out to James and James laughed as he took it. 

“Mary does like to make me feel uncomfortable whenever she can.” 

“She does that,” Reggie said, looking at Mary with a lovestruck look that seemed out of context, but Lily was used to it. Reggie had always been enamored with everything that Mary did. 

“Well, I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally put a face to the- no, nevermind, I’ve seen many pictures of you.”

“Mary’s an over sharer.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks, you too.” 

“Now we can go on a double date!” Mary clapped her hands together and jumped up onto her toes. “Lily and James have been leaving me out for like, two whole weeks now.” She said this to Reggie’s, who pulled her closer and kissed her temple. 

“That sounds so hard.” Lily rolled her eyes. 

“We have not left you out.” 

“Yes, you have,” Mary stuck her lip out. Lily huffed and looked up at the ceiling, leaning against James as she spun around. “Come on, let’s go and eat lunch. Our first double date starts in about an hour.” 

“It does?” Mary and Reggie asked at the same time and then laughed. 

“Yes, we have a parade and then a festival to go to.” 

Mary’s shoulders dropped and she cussed. “I forgot about that. I thought you were going to take me to a fancy restaurant.”

“Why do you keep forgetting about-”

“Because Reggie is here!” She wrapped her arms around his middle and shook him slightly. He narrowed his brow. “I’m only thinking about him right now.” 

“You haven’t stopped talking about Lily since I got here. The first thing you said was, ‘Guess what my ball gown for Lily’s birthday looks like.’”

“I love Lily the most, you knew this when we started dating.” 

“I’m only saying that you were lying to Lily just now. You haven’t been thinking about me. You’ve just been talking to me about Lily in person instead of on the phone.”

“I like it better this way,” Mary grinned, and Lily laughed. 

“Alright, let’s go and eat please.”

“Yeah, they nearly froze Lily at the shoot. She lost her entire breakfast shivering.” James nodded.

“That’s one way to work off that extra cinnamon roll.” Reggie laughed. “They didn’t let you wear a parka for your engagement photos?” They started walking down the hall. 

“No!” Mary stopped. “We already ate, and I have to go and change for the parade. This is not a parade outfit.” 

“We haven’t changed yet.” Lily narrowed her brow. “And I still want to visit with Reggie. You can’t keep him all to yourself. Especially not after you avoided Petunia for the first day and a half.” 

Mary rolled her eyes. “Someone probably already picked out what you’re going to wear. And I’ll share him later. I need him to help me.” 

“You know how to get dressed, Mary.” Reggie said, “I can come-”

“I don’t need help getting dressed.” She quirked her brow and Lily knew what she was going to say before she said it and started pulling James down the hall. “I need help getting _un_dressed. This isn’t an outfit meant to be taken off alone.” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“Ah,” She could hear Reggie nodding his head. “You understand though, right, Lily?” 

“Oh shut up, Reginald.” 

“Oh, she used my full name.” 

Lily kept walking. “I’ll see you later,” 

“Yes you will!” Mary called after her. 

James laughed as they rounded the corner. “That was almost exactly what I imagined it would be.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, Mary talks about him a lot. And he seems to fit in with you and Mary’s dynamic. Which he would have to since you both seem to like him so much. Sirius is going to be crushed.” 

Lily laughed now and bumped her arm against his. “He is not. Though he will pretend to be.” 

“Yeah, he will.” James agreed. “He’s good at being dramatic. Will it bother Reginald?” 

“You can call him, Reggie. And no. He’s not the jealous type. He might pretend to amuse Mary, but he knows he’s not in danger of losing her to anyone.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue. “They dote on each other, he’s not unjustly confident or anything.” 

“How long have they been together?” 

“Almost three years? They met at uni, through me actually. Reggie was in my CCP class.” 

“CCP?”

“Comparative Cultures and Politics. He’s going into Environmental Policy or something like that. He’ll fight oil companies and the like. Probably. He’s never actually explained to me what he wants to do with his degree. He’s also majoring in math though so,” She shrugged. 

“Versatile.” 

“Mary certainly thinks so.” 

James snorted and Lily smiled at him as he held open the door to the dining room. No one else was in there, but there was food set up for them. Emma must not have forgotten to let the kitchen staff know that they’d gotten back. 

“What?” James asked as they took their seats.

“You snorted.” She said. 

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. And earlier I messed up my hair when Emma showed me that picture of me and Bertram.” James smiled at her.

“You think we’re starting to adopt each other’s traits?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Also, I don’t want to talk about it too much, but did you see where that picture was?” 

“Twitter.” James answered. “But I’m sure it was on some gossip rag first. A blog maybe.” 

Lily shook her head. “Who would do that? Who in the castle would sell a picture of me?” 

“I don’t like it.” James said. “Did he bring any staff here with him?” 

“No,” Lily shook her head. “And he hasn’t had anyone log in as a visitor either. Moody would know even if he didn’t sign anyone in. That means that it was just one of our staff and that feels… terrible.” 

“We had something like that happen a few years ago. My mum was arrested at a protest against something or other and one of the staff went on record, speaking out against her and how she wasn’t genuine in her interest for the cause. I think it was something environmental actually, though it’s hard to keep them straight.” 

“Because she’s been arrested so many times?” 

“Yeah, exactly.” James grinned. “But we found out who had done it because he started bragging about it to the other staff. Maybe you can talk to Amelia and Gwen. I’ll talk to Benjy and Arden.” 

“You got Benjy and Arden? They’re hilarious.” Lily laughed. “They used to work in the kitchen. Benjy burned everything he touched, but Arden was actually pretty good.”

“Yeah, they seem like good guys.” James nodded. “Sirius and Benjy got along really well.” 

Lily nodded and then started piling food onto her plate. “I can finally feel all my toes again and they kind of hurt.” 

James shook his head. “I can’t believe they made you do that. I’ll pick out your outfit for today. Emma’s taking a nap, she won’t know until it’s too late.” Lily snorted. 

“Maybe I’ll just keep this on, and add some more layers.” 

“That’s not a bad idea. That’s a nice pair of jeans.” He was looking at his plate now, so he missed Lily’s eye roll. 

“You didn’t like the dresses they put me in?” She took a large bite of her pasta dish and then leaned against her elbow, facing him. 

He gave her a look that was near exasperated, but also let her know that he had liked them. “They were beautiful, and you were beautiful. But I would have preferred you wear a coat. I was cold and I was in layers. Save the dresses for something else.” 

“Like what?” 

“You said that you didn’t like it when I go on about how pretty you are.” 

Lily scoffed. “No, I did not say that. I love hearing people tell me that I’m pretty. What I had said was that it doesn’t make me blush when you tell me I’m pretty.” 

“Ah, right. And then I get all red and you like that.” 

“I do like to see you get embarrassed.” Lily nodded. 

“Alright,” James turned in his chair to look at her fully and Lily tilted her head, smiling at him. “I think you look incredibly fit in those jeans. And those dresses were something else, but you’d probably look good in a paper sack.” 

“Probably,” Lily agreed. “But I never understood why people say ‘paper sack.’ Who goes around wearing paper sacks?” 

James ran a hand through his hair and turned back to his lunch. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You want me to tell you how pretty you are now?” 

He bit his tongue, “Of course I do.” 

Lily laughed and put a hand on his arm. “It’s not just your hair. I like your dimples and your eyes and your jaw. You’d also look good in a paper sack. Or one of my dresses from today.” She reached up and ran her finger over his jawline absentmindedly. 

She realized what she was doing when she looked from his jaw to his eyes and it appeared that they’d gone a bit molten. She had been expecting another joke about her gowns, for some pretend confident retort about how, _of course_ he’d look good in her gowns. But instead, he just looked at her. 

And then he reached up and took the hand that was still floating beside his jaw. He wrapped his fingers around her hand and slowly pulled it closer, just barely, so he could press a kiss to her palm. 

Lily’s other hand tightened on his arm. 

She didn’t know what was supposed to happen next. This was new territory for them. They had strayed from their usual playful banter and now she was full of dread- no, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t dread. It was _thrill. _It was _excitement. _

It was also too much. She wanted to pull her hand back, she wanted to make another joke and snap the tension that had seemed to arise from nowhere. They had been fine, a moment ago and now they were frozen in this new and terrifying moment. 

She swallowed hard and was biting down so hard on the tip of her tongue that she was surprised that she couldn’t taste blood. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her arms were tingling, and yet, she remained frozen. 

But James, he always, seemed to know just what to do. He seemed able to read her better than most, so of course he knew that she was panicking about whatever it was that was transpiring between them just then. 

“Tell me more about my dimples.” His voice was serious, and Lily’s mouth remained dry and incapable of speech, but then the corner of his mouth quirked up and he squeezed her hand before releasing it. 

Lily took in a deep breath, that thankfully lacked the shudders that she thought would come with it, and forced herself to smile as well. “See,” She pulled both of her hands onto her lap and then turned back toward the table. “I don’t think we can both be this cocky. And since I’ve already claimed the role…” She reached for her water. 

“Right. So what? I’m supposed to say ‘no, Lily. I don’t have dimples?’ That’s ridiculous, I’ve seen them.” He scoffed, but she could hear the slight difference in his tone. It wasn’t as light and easy as it had been a few minutes ago. Something had just happened, and they’d jumped past it, refused to acknowledge it, and it was weighing on both of them. 

“You’ve already taken badminton away from me, you can’t have this too.” 

“You made it sound like you were good at badminton.” James shrugged, picking up his tea and taking a sip. 

“I am good, you tosser!” Some more of the tension fell away. “I’ve almost won both of our games.” 

“Yes, sure, but I actually have won both of our games.” 

“I’m going to win next time.” 

“Sure, sure.” 

“Don’t placate me.” 

“I’m going to marry you, I think it’s part of the job.” 

It was supposed to be a joke, and Lily knew that, but the tentative smile that had found its way onto her face fell a bit.

Because being her husband was sort of like a job, in a sense. She’d looked over his resume and picked him out of a group of other qualified candidates. He would be getting paid in the sense that he’d had access to the royal families fortune after they wed. He had to attend ceremonial and state functions as part of his new role. 

Because being her husband also meant being the king consort, and that was definitely a job. 

“Yeah,” She shook her head, because that wasn’t how he’d meant it. They were back to banter and that was what she wanted. “Yeah, because I’m a real piece of work, right? But placation is grounds for firing, I think.”

“Lily?” His voice was too soft, he’d been able to read her again. 

“Fuck, James, why is this so hard today?” She stood up, both hands pressed against the table. “Maybe we should just go and get ready and then start over when we get in the car to go to the parade.” She felt like she could use some space.

“You don’t think we need to talk about this?” 

“I think we’ve done a lot of talking today.” She said quietly. “I think we’ve done almost too much talking today.” 

“You want to talk less?” He was standing now too. “Did you have something else in mind?” 

Was he trying to make another joke, or was he being serious? She couldn't tell without looking at him. 

But then she looked at him and his eyes were molten again. 

He wasn’t joking. 

She pushed off the table and took a step back. Should she pretend that she didn’t know that he was joking? That didn’t seem right. “We’ll talk later, okay? I’m just tired of everything being so heavy between us today. Reggie is here, and I just want things to be fun and light today. Yeah?” 

His hand went back to his hair and then ran along his jawline, where her fingers had traced. She bit her tongue again. “Yeah, that makes sense. How long is he here for?” 

“I assume just the weekend. He doesn’t have Friday classes, but he does have Monday classes.” James nodded. 

“Alright. We’ll talk later then.” He flashed her a smile. “Besides, we have all the time in the world, right? Not everything has to happen before the end of the month.” Lily could feel herself flushing and she didn’t want him to see, so she turned on her heel and started for the door. 

What exactly had he meant by _everything? _

“Exactly! I’ll see you in an hour. I’ll be the one in a head to toe snow suit!” 

“Good!” He called after her, and if he thought her sudden departure strange, he didn’t say so.

Getting dressed was not difficult. She chose her outfit rather quickly, fleece-lined leggings, a knee length dress, warm-ish boots, a cardigan that no one would see, and a thick wool peacoat. Also a scarf and earmuffs that matched her mittens. 

What took longer than getting all that together and then pulling it all on, was convincing herself that nothing had just happened downstairs between her and James. 

She’d touched his face, and then he’d make a joke about his dimples. 

That was it.

He hadn’t looked at her any differently than he’d done before, there hadn’t been a pregnant pause, there hadn’t been any lingering gazes or lumps in her throat. He heartbeat had been steady, her voice hadn’t wavered at all. 

Everything had been completely normal. 

Of course, convincing herself of that was pointless, because it wasn’t the truth. It wasn’t even sort of the truth. 

James liked her. Before today, she’d never been able to convince herself if this was completely true or not. She’d known that he had soft feelings toward her, that he wanted to work toward having a real relationship, but she also knew that he wasn’t in a hurry, that he was willing to just be friends because that’s what she wanted. 

At least he had said that he was alright with just being friends. 

And even now, when she knew that she fancied him, when she had felt the thrill of almost letting herself get drawn in by his magnetic gaze and intoxicating grin, she still wanted the expectation to be friendship. Because that’s how they would keep from hurting each other, because that’s how she would keep herself from getting disappointed. Because if they were just friends, then she didn’t have to constantly think about the fact that if some other girl had chosen him, he’d be there with her doing exactly what he was doing with Lily. 

He’d agreed to an arranged marriage long ago. Not an arranged marriage to Lily, but to whoever. If she hadn’t initiated things, then he wouldn’t be here. If they had met any other way, he wouldn’t be here. 

If they’d crossed paths at the State Dinner, he might have introduced her to his fiance that wasn’t her, and he’d be just as charming with her as he had been with Lily. He might have taken her out to the greenhouse as well. 

Because while she knew that James liked her, she also knew that he was just a good bloke who wanted to have a happy life. And part of having a happy life was setting up the foundation of a relationship so that you would get along for years to come. 

If Lily let herself think beyond friendship, she remembered that her place here was interchangeable, and that hurt more than she was willing to admit. 

Lily much preferred parades in the spring or summer or fall. Winter parades were cold. But they held one every month starting in January to encourage people to get out of their warm houses and spend money at the local businesses that usually see a fall in profits during the colder months. 

Lily knew that it was important, including the festival afterward, but being out at the cliffs this morning had chilled her more than she had thought it would, and being inside for about an hour before the parade hadn’t warmed her completely. 

She also hadn’t been able to shake all of the weirdness off. She was still unsure of how the rest of the day was going to unfold. 

Mary and Reginald were near the doors, his arms wrapped around her and her head resting on his chest. They looked as though they’d carved their own space out of the world around them and had settled into it comfortably. Lily was used to their sickly sweet pda, but she felt a small pang of jealously as she looked at them now. Both of them were entirely sure of the other, knowing that they were together because there was nothing that either of them wanted more. That there was no one that they could want more than the other. They were completely in love in a way that Lily had given up on. 

“Are we going to have to watch them be like that all day?” James appeared beside her and took her hand before she could question how things were going to play out. He wasn’t going to let things be awkward, even if he’d joked/not joked about snogging her earlier. 

“Yeah, they’re usually like this. And they haven’t seen each other in a couple weeks so I’m sure that’ll only make it worse.” 

“You alright, Evans?” The informal way he addressed her was meant to make the question sound almost flippant, but she could tell that he meant it. 

“Today is a weird day.” She said, which was honest and not a heavy answer. And they needed to stay away from heavy answers for a little while. 

“A lot has happened recently. Are you still upset with me?” 

Lily sighed and looked up at him, “I forgot that I had been upset with you this morning. I should be, but I don’t think I am. Today isn’t even half over, how has so much happened?” She shook her head and then started down the stairs. James, who still had her hand, followed. 

“Afternoon, friends,” Lily called out in greeting. “Do you care to detach yourselves from one another?” 

Reggie smiled at Lily as Mary stepped back, their arms staying around one another. “It’s about time the two of you showed up. What did you do? Eat the entire dining room?” 

“No, it just took me a while to get all these layers on. I’m still cold from this morning.” She let go of James’ hand to reach into her coat pockets and pull on her mittens.

“Well you still look amazing.” Mary said, reaching out and feeling Lily’s coat. 

“I see you had to put on different clothes as well.” 

“Yeah, my skirt and boots weren’t going to keep me warm.” Mary looked upset about this, though her new outfit was just as colorful and bright. She had on bright pink leggings, orange leg warmers, black winter boots and then a long black coat. Her hat and scarf were varying shades of yellow, orange and pink. She looked like she was dressed in cotton candy. Lily grinned at her. 

“I like the leg warmers. I didn’t know we could wear those again.” 

“You can’t. You wouldn’t be able to pull them off.” 

“Rude.” Lily muttered. “I’m going to steal yours out of spite now.”

“Do you see how she’s been treating me?” She looked at Reggie.

Reggie was looking at James though. “I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with the two of them by yourself for so long. I didn’t even meet both of them at the same time, so I got eased into all of this nonsense.” 

“Oi!” Lily reached out and smacked Reggie’s arm as Mary smacked his other arm. “Don’t apologize for us!”

“Yeah, who do you think you are?” Reggie laughed and took a few steps away from them, pretending to cower behind his raised arms. 

“I’m just saying, you seemed to have skipped the introduction period here and just made him jump into the deep end.” 

“The entire pool is a deep end in this scenario.” Lily deadpanned. 

“It’s true,” James nodded. “We’re getting married in two weeks. So if you wanted to stretch this month out into a full length relationship, the first day was the only day that should have been introductory.” 

“Yes, and that was the day that Mary threatened your life, yes?” 

“Yes,” James nodded. “It was very cute.” 

“I’m good at threatening people!” Mary stomped her foot and they all laughed. 

“So very good at it, love,” Reggie stepped back up to her and kissed her forehead. “You’re the most intimidating person I know.” 

“You better believe it bud,” Mary poked him in the side.

“Look at all of you ready to go before me.” Anita floated down the staircase dressed just as warm as the rest of them. “Mary, I’m particularly proud of you.”

“Yes, thank you,” Mary nodded as though this wasn’t a suggestion that she was normally late to everything.

“Lily, James, I saw some of the pictures from this morning and they are absolutely beautiful.” Anita smiled at the two of them. 

“How come you always get to see things before me?” Lily asked, tilting her head to the side. 

“Because I’m still the queen for another month.” She said, brows raised. 

“You realize that I’m going to have so much fun keeping things from you with that same line come next month.” Anita smiled at her and then shook her head. 

“No, you won’t. I’m still your gran and you wouldn’t do that to me.” 

“I think we both know that I will.” Lily smirked. “Now let’s go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late! Reviews would be great!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, happy Sunday, my friends! I know the entire world is in a bit of turmoil right now, and I hope this chapter is a bit of escapism for you, and a bright point in your day for those who are in quarantine. Remember to stay safe and to be responsible and kind! 
> 
> I love you all and I wish you well!

The parade, in structure and appearance, was much the same as it normally was. It was nothing like it normally was however, because this time, James was seated next to her in the front of their horse drawn carriage. And everything she did with James felt entirely different.

Anita sat in the top row by herself, and Mary and Reggie had opted to watch the parade from inside a coffee shop on the parade route. 

Lily wished that she could join them for a spell.

Because even with her fleece lined leggings, winter coat, scarf and mittens, she was still very cold. Maybe that was because she hadn’t properly warmed up after the photoshoot, or perhaps it was because it was freezing outside. She kept scooting closer and closer to James, until she couldn’t get any closer without getting on his lap. And that would definitely be frowned upon by at least half of the people watching the parade. 

At least she wasn’t chattering like she had been at the cliffs. And when James mentioned that she was cold to one of the guards that walked alongside the carriage, he went and fetched her a hot tea. Lily almost kissed him when he handed it to her. He’d even added sugar to it. 

She took a sip and looked at James, “Did you tell him how I take my tea or does Moody just let everyone who works for him know in case I ever ask?” 

“I feel like it would be romantic to tell you that I told him, but I didn’t. I was actually hoping he’d get you a blanket when I told him you were cold.” 

“You didn’t even ask him to get me tea?” She laughed and then turned to wave at the crowd. 

“Sorry, love.” He put his arm around her, drawing her back against him and resumed waving himself. 

Lily didn’t want to sound too proud, but she knew that for the most part, the people of Gryffindor had been excited to see her whenever she went out among them. However, they seemed a little more fevered at this parade and she had no doubt that it was because of James. 

“They really like you,” She said, turning back to look at his profile as he smiled at a group of school children. Judging by their uniforms they were from one of the schools that they had visited last week. They all yelled and jumped around as they waved back at them.

“Nah, they really like you. They like me by association.” 

Lily clicked her tongue and went to pinch his side before remembering that she couldn’t pinch him through all his layers. She’d have to do it later. “That’s absurd.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“Yes, it is. They liked you before-”

“They didn’t know me before.” James looked over at her. “They may have heard my name in the paper now and then, but they didn’t know me. And if they did, it wasn’t for anything good. Parliament likes me, the politicians like me, the highbrow citizens like me.”

She bit her tongue and thought this over. She supposed he had a point there. Why would any of these people be keeping tabs on James before? Why would they be keeping tabs on any of the Lords in the country? He was right, most of these people had probably never heard of him before she chose him.

“We need to make the government more accessible to them.” She said, looking out at the sea of people surrounding her. “The seats in parliament are supposed to represent the people of our country, but they don’t. They represent the lords and their estates.” Every time she remembered just how much there was to do, and that there was still so much more that she wasn’t yet aware of, she felt her chest tighten and the urge to make a list. 

James patted her arm and she took a sip of her tea. “That was one of the protests that my mum got arrested at.” 

Lily snorted, “Oh? I feel like I need to talk to your mum about some stuff.” 

“She’ll like you.” James grinned. 

“Of course, she will, I’m amazing.” 

“You really are.” She looked up at him with her lips pressed together. 

“Stop trying to make me blush all the time, it’s not going to work.” 

“I’m going to find the right way to go about it and then I’ll be unstoppable.” 

“Ridiculous.” Lily muttered, taking another sip of her tea. 

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” He was smirking, she just knew it, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of looking at him, so she just continued to wave to the crowd. 

“Whatever you do, it’s not going to work.” 

“Eventually it will.” 

“You might get me to blush again, but as soon as I feel like you have a pattern, I’ll adjust and then I won’t blush anymore.”

She heard him ‘harrumph’ and she smiled more brightly than before. “Well then this will just be a fun little game that we play together from here on out.” 

“Okay, but I’d like you to acknowledge now that I am better at this game than you are.” 

“We’ve hardly started, what do you mean you’re better already?” 

“I can make you blush whenever I want!” She glanced over at him and then back at the crowd. “And so that means that I’m better at this game.” 

He was quiet for a moment and she had to look over at him again. “Alright, I’ll concede for now. But only if you admit that I’m the better badminton player.” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “I will never say that.” 

James smirked. “I had a feeling you’d say that.” 

“Well you just told me to lie to your face, and I just promised you that I was going to be more honest with you _this morning_. I can’t go back on my word.” She rolled her eyes and then turned back toward the crowd. 

James laughed and then pulled her closer to his side. “I like you, Lily.” He said, his tone light. 

Her chest exploded in warmth and she leaned against him. “I suppose you’re alright.” 

“You like me too,” He said, his voice just as light and just as sure and Lily bit the tip of her tongue. Then he pulled back and looked down at her. “Are you blushing?” 

She scoffed. “No, James. I’m not blushing.” 

“I feel like I’m getting closer.” 

She shook her head. “Let’s just go back to waving.”

“I’ve been doing both this whole time.” 

“I want to pinch you.” She muttered. 

“What?” He laughed. 

“I can’t, because you have so many layers on and it wouldn’t work, so I’m just going to tell you that I want to pinch you.” 

He laughed again, louder this time. He threw his head back and Lily watched him, his mirth contagious. She had to bite her lip to keep her own smile from getting too large. When he sat back upright, he had knocked some of his hair over his forehead and Lily reached up to fix it without thinking. She just pushed it back into place and he caught her hand before she drew it away. He brought it up to his mouth and pressed a quick kiss to the back of her hand before he released her. 

She tilted her head and continued to look at him. “Was that for them?’ 

“No,” He shook his head, not asking her who she was talking about. He knew she meant the crowd and the cameras. “No, I’m still trying to make you blush is all.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, with a little more honesty now.” 

And that almost did make her blush. Sitting beside him in the carriage, she didn’t feel as though he was saying or doing any of these things because she was his only choice, or because they had agreed to be each other’s only choices for the rest of their lives. She didn’t feel as though he was making the best out of the situation they had been handed. 

She just felt like he liked her. 

Anita tapped her on the shoulder. 

Lily started, having forgotten that her gran was behind them the entire time. “I’m glad that the two of you are having fun, but you both need to pay a little more attention to the people who came here to see you. You can tease one another as much as you’d like when we get home.” 

And now Lily’s cheeks were red.

“How did you do that?” James asked Anita. And since she’d _had _been sitting right behind them, and since of course she had also noticed Lily’s flush, she knew what James was talking about. 

“Years of practice,” She smirked, and Lily felt like rolling her eyes, but she refrained, and turned back to the crowds again. 

The rest of the afternoon went off exactly how it was meant to, people came out and spent money at the local shops, they spoke with Lily and James, some of them asked for pictures, some of them brought newspaper pictures for them to sign. There were a lot of pictures from the greenhouse, and every time she went to sign one, Lily would look at James and he would smirk at her. 

But now they were all back in the castle. Anita had retired early and that left the four of them in the dinning room to sit in front of a fireplace and argue over whether or not ‘yeet’ counted as a real word. 

“I knew we shouldn’t have played scrabble.” Lily sighed, watching as Reggie explained to Mary that he didn’t care if it was in the dictionary, it wasn’t a real word. Mary was pulling it up on Merrium Webster’s website. 

“This has happened before?” 

Lily gave him a look. “Does this not happen every single time you’ve played Scrabble?” 

“Well, I haven’t played since I was a child and my parents were very forgiving with whatever words I chose to spell. And however, I chose to spell them.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were super spoiled, weren’t you?” 

“Well, that’s not fair,” He tilted his head. 

“It’s true, isn’t it?” 

He clicked his tongue, “I suppose that it is, but still. In this case, it’s not fair. Couldn’t they have just let me get away with it because they love me?” 

Lily snorted, “No, they let you cheat. How did you get to be so competitive if your parents let you win at everything?” 

“They didn’t let me win at everything-”

“But did they?” 

He was quiet. “I think it was Sirius who brought out my more competitive nature.” 

“See, that I believe.” 

Mary was shoving her phone screen in Reggie’s face and he was finally conceding, as Lily had known that he would. 

“Fine,” He repeated. “Take your twenty-two points and let’s just get on with it.” 

“I will, thank you!” James laughed and then leaned forward to lay down a word of his own. ‘Advocate.’ 

Then it was Lily’s turn and she sighed as she put down the three tiles it took to spell, ‘fork.’ Mary snorted. 

“I knew you were going to do that.” 

“It’s Good Place lingo for ‘fuck’, of course I’m going to laugh about it.” 

“I’m also going to laugh, but because you only got eight points for that.” Reggie chuckled. 

“Maybe I should stick to slang words like your girlfriend. That would get me more points.” 

“It is just as hard to make slang words as it is to make other words.” Mary raised her brows and started rearranging her tiles as Reggie put down his tiles. 

“As long as you spell them right,” James nodded. 

“I looked it up in the dictionary, James. Do you want me to fight you too?” James laughed and shook his head. 

“No, of course not.” He looked at Lily, but Mary still saw his exasperated smile and she tried to kick him in the shin, but she was too short to do so from where she sat. “Oi! I was on your side when you laid down the word, why are you trying to kick me?” 

“Because you’re acting all conspiratorial and I don’t like it,” She narrowed her brow and Lily shook her head and sighed. 

“Mary, you can’t fight everyone,” She said as though this was a conversation that they had to have every ten minutes. “You are too small and too weak-”

“I’m not weak!”

“Lift anything at all,” Lily challenged. 

“Well that’s hardly fair,” Mary scoffed, “My spirit is strong.” 

“No one is arguing against that.” Reggie chimed in. “I think the main point of this conversation is to say that you shouldn’t kick people in the shins, Mary-Anne.” 

“That’s not even my name.” 

“Mary-Elizabeth.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Reginald Fitzwilliam,” She had her arms crossed over her chest now. “Don’t make me kick you in the shin.” 

“Fitzwilliam?” James asked, brows raised. “Are you a lord of something?” 

Lily snorted. “Nah, his mum’s just a _Pride and Prejudice_ fan. Which is fantastic, and I think it’s a shame that Fitzwilliam isn’t his first name.” She grinned at him. “We could call you Fitz.” 

He sighed. “My mum didn’t do me many favors in the name department, but not naming me Fitzwilliam has be a point in her favor. I mean, my last name is already _Cattermole_. She could have at least tried to counterbalance that.” 

“You’ll just have to take my name,” Mary shrugged. “Because I don’t want your name.” 

“MacDonald isn’t _that _much better,” He tried to argue. “I mean how many times have you complained about getting sung at? _Old MacDonald had a farm-”_

“It’s still better than _Cattermole._” 

“Ms. Mary Mac?”

Lily shook her head and leaned back on the couch, her arm brushing James. 

“Does she know it’s her turn again?” 

“Probably not.” Lily grinned. “They have this conversation frequently. I’ve offered up CatterDonald or MacMole, the latter of which is my preference, but they don’t like either.” 

“MacMole is a good one.” He shifted so that his arm was resting on the back of the sofa, technically around her shoulders, but not touching. She bit the tip of her tongue and then leaned closer so that she was shuffled up next to him, tucked under his arm. He quickly moved his arm from the couch to her shoulders. “Potvans? Evotter?” 

“They’re both brilliant.” Lily grinned. “That’s what happens when you don’t have shite last names.” 

“Oh bugger off,” Mary snapped. “You could have just as easily have gotten stuck with Petunia’s last name if your mum hadn’t fallen in love with some Prince from a far off land. _Woodcock._”

“Yes, but my father was a Prince from a far off land and so I’m not, nor have I ever been, a_ Woodcock._”

“_Dursley _is not much better.” 

“Yes, alright, but she’s not here so we’re not making fun of her.” Lily slid her tongue over her molars and looked down at her knees. 

“I can’t believe she’s not coming to your wedding,” Reggie said, sitting up straight and then slouching over to pretend as though he hadn’t been waiting for an opportunity to bring it up. He was good at that kind of stuff. Feigning nonchalance for important conversations. You knew it was fake, but it still made you feel comfortable enough to talk. 

Except she wasn’t just talking to him. James and Mary were also there, and they were all looking at her and she’d already had this conversation with her Gran while she’d been making the peach pie for James. 

“Yes, you can,” She said, looking up at Reggie and then glancing at Mary. “Petunia and I aren’t really close anymore. Haven’t been for a long time, so of course you can believe it.” He kept looking at her, waiting for her to say more. And then James started rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “It is what it is. I’m fine.” She almost shrugged off his arm and leaned forward, but she just bit her tongue and let it be. She didn’t need to start pushing him away again. Not after everything else that had happened today. 

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bother you, or that you’re as fine with it as you’re pretending to be.” Mary crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head forward. 

“I’d rather she wanted to be there, of course, but I can’t change her mind and she wants to go on Holiday. The holiday she’s had planned longer than I’ve known that I would be getting married at the end of the month.” It wasn’t that big of a deal. “Mum’s still coming and she’s bringing David with her, so at least there’s that. Mary, it’s your turn,” Lily nodded at the game board and then refused to look at anyone. 

“They’ll be here for the coronation,” James chimed in as Mary started moving around her tiles to find a word. “I wonder how much bigger Dudley will be.” 

Bless him. 

Lily smiled up at him, “I couldn’t believe how big he was when they were here! He’s walking and talking- a bit anyway. And he’s so cute, I just wanted to eat his little cheeks,” She pressed one of her hands against her chest and shook her head. She’d changed her phone screen to a picture of her and Dudley that they’d taken right before they left to go home. They were cheek to cheek, and he was smiling wide, all of his teeth showing and his cheek red from the cold. 

“He was really cute,” Mary allowed, laying down the word _floss. _Not technically a slang word, but the look that accompanied the word and Reggie rolling his eyes made it clear that she’d meant for it to be a slang word. 

It was much later now. Lily was in bed, her eyes bleary and her phone resting on her chest. She felt mostly relaxed, but still a little anxious. She’d been at least a little anxious all month though, hadn’t she? She kept thinking that things would calm down at the end of the month, after the wedding, when they went off for their honeymoon and had a break from the cameras and the crowds and the expectations. But when they came back, they would be days away from Lily’s coronation and then she would be queen and she didn’t think she’d be able to fully relax until she had given her crown to her successor.

But she couldn’t think about that either, because her successor would be her direct decedent and she hadn’t even kissed James yet, she didn’t really want to think about having children with him.

She took a deep breath and pulled out her phone, needing to distract herself before she got sucked into a spiral.

She tapped her nails on the back of her case for a moment and then pulled up her messages with James.

Lily: Thanks for jumping in early. About my sister. 

James Potter: No problem I could tell that you didn’t want to talk about it 

She stared at his name for a moment. It looked too formal. 

Lily: Yeah, they knew that too, but they’re assholes sometimes. I mean, it makes sense that she can’t come. It sucks, but it makes sense. 

Lily: They’re not really assholes, I know they just want to make sure I’m okay.

Lily: I want to get along with my sister again. I don’t think Mary understands that.

James: she’s family, and it seemed like she was trying when she was here

Lily: Exactly! I want to know my nephew; I want to see my mum and sister more than just once a year. 

James was better, but it wasn’t perfect yet. 

Lily: Switching gears entirely now, what is your moniker for me?

James: my moniker? you're so fancy and i don’t even use punctuation

James: Her Royal Highness Princess Lillian Jane Evans

Lily: Really?

James: no of course not

Lily: What is it then?

James: What is your moniker for me

Lily: That’s what I’m trying to decide. Don’t make this difficult. 

James: you're ‘the misses’

Lily bit her tongue and closed her eyes for a moment. 

Lily: How long have I been ‘the misses’

James: i’m not going to offer up information that you’ll then use to humiliate me

Lily: Since I gave you my number then?

James: no, otherwise the random person I texted first would have been given the moniker

James: he still texts me sometimes. He’s a farmer in whales and his goat just had triplets

James: don’t worry i asked for pics already

Lily: three texts in a row aren’t going to distract me from this 

James: how many would?

Lily: Jaaaaames

James: remember how you were mad at me this morning

James: do you want to talk about that again?

Lily: You know what I like about this? I can tell you’re blushing right now. 

James: you can’t prove anything

James: just tell me how you’re reacting

James: are you freaking out again

Lily: I don’t freak out about everything!

James: okay but that wasn’t an answer 

Lily: I’m not freaking out. I thought it was sweet.

James: oh. good

James: you’re harder to read over text

James: all your punctuation and whatnot

Lily: I text normally, thank you. 

Lily: Also you were no help so I’m going to bed. 

James: I’m plenty helpful

James: and you need the rest because I’m going to kick your arse come Sunday

Lily: Goddamit James, I’m going to win! I can’t possibly lose three times in a row!

Lily: Also that’s days away. You’re just being mean now.

James: at least your past the point where you can’t admit that you lost

James: goodnight princess

Lily: :P

Lily: Goodnight, dear

She closed out of their messages and then opened his contact information. She clicked on his name and chewed on the inside of her cheek. ‘The mister’ didn’t have the same connotation or softness that ‘the misses’ held. It also made her cringe. 

With her heart fluttering and her head feeling too light, she realized that despite the way that she’d met James, despite the fact that they’d agreed to an arranged marriage, she was sitting in bed, grinning at her phone like a lovesick tosspot. She had thought that she wouldn’t get this feeling in her chest when James first came to the castle, she thought that she’d said goodbye to crushes and butterflies and blushing over word choices. 

She closed her eyes and let herself relive that strange moment that they’d had in the dining hall earlier that day. She’d freaked out then, that’s why he’d asked how she was reacting about her name being ‘the misses.’ He didn’t want to push her too far. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. 

But she’d reached out and touched him so easily, ran her fingers over his jaw, she’d been frozen in that moment with him. Not sure what would come next, not sure if it would be just as easy to lean forward a bit, replace her fingertips with her lips. She was pretty sure that she had wanted to kiss him in the moment, before the tension had built up to the point where it had been unbearable, and she’d run out of the room. Before she’d looked at him and seen the heat in his eyes, before she realized that once again, she was the one that was lagging behind, the one that was holding things up. 

She’d liked him looking at her like that, his eyes warm and focused, looking at her like she was all he needed just then. 

How had she been looking at him? Had there been just as much heat in her eyes? Is that why he’d made the comment about doing something other than talking? 

Thinking about him saying that now made her blood run a bit hot and she let herself picture what might have happened in the dinning room had she taken him up on his offer. She let her mind wander as she drifted off to sleep, thinking about how it would have felt to have his lips somewhere other than her palm or her temple or the back of her hand. She imagined running her fingers through his hair for reasons that were teasing in an entirely different sense than the first time she’d mused it.

She felt asleep thinking of the heat in his eyes as he’d looked at her.

And that heat followed her into her dreams. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday, my friends. I really like this chapter. And the next few chapters are a lot of fun too. So you've got nice things to look forward too.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! Reviewers are my bests friends!

Lily woke up the next morning feeling a little too sweaty, and the need to focus on something that was entirely non-James related. And so, she jumped out of bed before Amelia or Gwen arrived and sat at her desk with her laptop. She couldn’t very well loiter in her bed like she would normally choose to do. It was super early, but going back to sleep wasn’t really an option just then.

She answered almost every single email in her inbox that she didn’t think Emma would want to handle for her, she reworked a speech that she was meant to give to parliament later next week, she looked over her calendar and wrote up two agendas for meetings that she had with different boards. Then when she still found that she had time before she was supposed to go down to breakfast, she checked the log to see who had signed up to have meetings with her her this afternoon when she got back from the schools so she could write out some preliminary notes.

Of course Rosier’s name was on the list. And Malfoy’s. She had another meeting with Frank Longbottom, that wouldn’t be unpleasant at least, though she didn’t have any more information for him at the moment and all she could do was give him Alice’s information so they could talk directly with one another. 

And then she had no more work until later, which made her feel good in the sense that she realized that she hadn’t fallen as far behind as she thought she had, given that yesterday had left very little time for work, and she’d had all those interviews earlier in the week. And a lot had been going on with James as well. 

The fact that she had no more work to do, however, gave her more time to think. And while she could have and wanted to focus on the dream she’d had last night, or what she was going to change James’ name to in her phone, or the look in his eyes when she’d traced her finger over his jaw, instead she realized that today was Friday. Which meant that there was no more pretending that the wedding was about two weeks off. 

The wedding was now eight days away, and there was no rounding eight up to fourteen. There was no pretending that in exactly eight days, she would not be stepping into a wedding dress and getting ready to walk down the aisle. 

Next weekend wasn’t technically the deadline, nor the end of the month, but the month ended on a Friday, and Royal Gryffindor weddings always took place on a Saturday, and the last Saturday of the month was next weekend. 

It was easy to think of it as some far off thing, as it was only the seventeenth, which was still technically the middle of the month. 

But it wasn’t far off.

Her chest tightened and she started pacing back and forth. 

She heard her phone buzz a couple of times on her nightstand and ignored it. It was probably James or Mary or Reggie and she didn’t want to be talked off the ledge at the moment. She’d ended every single one of her fits by simply making herself stop thinking about it, but she couldn't do that anymore. She _had _to come to terms with the fact that this was all happening. 

This was happening and it was happening soon. 

She forced herself to consider what it would be like to be called someone’s wife as she picked out which shoes she would wear. She forced herself to imagine what it would be like to slide a ring on his finger as she took down a blazer. She forced herself to consider how the conversation of their honeymoon might go while she picked out a skirt to go with the blazer. 

None of this thinking made her heart rate go down, but it also felt good to actually be facing things head on and not ducking her head in the sand. Because this was real, even if it hadn’t always felt like it would really happen. Emma and her gran had been planning everything, she hadn’t even gone in for a dress fitting yet, and she knew that all of that would be coming very soon. Her gran had been gently reminding her every so often. 

She had done what she could to give Lily enough time and space from the actual wedding plans so that she could accept that it was really happening. 

She didn’t think it actually hit her until she was standing in front of the mirror putting on lipstick. Half of her bottom lip was still unpainted when she froze and her mouth formed a small ‘o’. 

She would be marrying James in a week. 

Because parliament had said that they would take her crown if she didn’t. 

She was getting married to a man that she fancied, at a wedding that she had no part of planning, because a group of men were afraid to have a single woman in charge of the country. 

She felt a bit sick. 

If it were for any other reason, she felt like she could get fully on board, she felt like she could smile and maybe even get excited. After all, the more time she spent with James, the less it felt like being tied to him for the rest of her life was a bad thing. 

But she was only doing it to appease parliament and that made her feel like she was a bad person. Like she was playing into their hand. Like she was turning her back on all the progress she wanted to make, all the women who had come before her and said that enough was enough.

She bit the tip of her tongue and looked down at the counter. 

She couldn’t enact change on the scale she needed to if they took her crown though. She’d tried to change their minds, tried to get them to overturn the law, and she’ been unsuccessful. She didn’t have the time or the backing to try again so she would have to wait until after she was queen, wait until there were new people in parliament, and then she could change things. 

Lily _hated _waiting. 

She hated being patient and being told that real change took time. She hated people telling her that she couldn’t just snap her fingers and change the minds of people who ‘grew up in a different era.’ That if things changed too fast it would incite anger and violence. 

She hated that when she said that there was already anger and violence, she was met with a shrug that just screamed, ‘that’s just the way things are.’

She’d been given a platform of power, and yet she felt powerless so much of the time. 

Gwen and Amelia knocked on the door and Lily shook herself, finished putting on her lipstick and then walked out of the bathroom, quietly greeting them as they went about making her bed.

“You’re up early,” Gwen noted. “Trouble sleeping?” 

Lily shook her head and stepped around Amelia to retrieve her phone. “No, I slept alright for the most part.” She cleared her throat and reminded herself that people couldn’t read her mind and that if she didn’t tell anyone that she’d had a steamy dream about James last night, then they wouldn’t know. “I just wanted to catch up on some work. This week has been so busy. And it’s gone by so fast.” 

“It has been a fast week,” Amelia agreed. “And I suppose you wanted to get work out of the way so you can enjoy your birthday weekend.” She was smiling at Lily and Lily smiled back. 

“Yes, I suppose that was part of my motivation.” Though she hadn’t thought about the fact that her birthday party was tomorrow evening once. “I do have a lot of friends coming in tomorrow. Will the two of you be there?” 

“We will be working, yes.” Gwen nodded. 

“Well you might have to slack off for an hour or so because we’re getting out the slide in the Great Hall!”

“A slide?” Gwen asked, arching a brow as she fluffed a pillow. 

“Yes, it goes in between the two staircases,” Amelia explained. “You go down it on pillows and blankets. Sometimes entire mattresses. It’s great fun.” 

“So you’ve done it before?” Lily asked, clapping her hands together in excitement. For all her worrying a few minutes earlier, she knew tomorrow’s party would help relieve a lot of stress. 

“Yes, at your sixteenth birthday, ma’am.” Amelia nodded. “It was my first year in the palace and all the staff played on it before we took it down.” She laughed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You should have seen Benjy’s eyes light up when someone told him to try and ‘surf’ down the slide. He made it to the bottom before he tripped over his own feet and fell into Filch!” She laughed and Lily laughed along with her. Filch was the caretaker of the gardens, and he did his job well, if not extraordinarily grumpily. Lily avoided him at all costs. 

She felt much better by the time she left her room for breakfast, and decided she was of sound mind enough to check her phone now. She pulled it out and saw that Reggie had texted her a meme of a racoon looking into a garbage can with hearts over his eyes and he’d photoshopped Lily’s face onto the meme so it looked like she was in the trashcan. 

Reggie: Mary made that, it wasn’t me, she’s trying to get me in trouble so you uninvite me to your birthday because she doesn’t want me around all the princesses that were invited 

Lily: Tell her if she keeps calling me trash, I’ll introduce you to all the princesses as Lord Fitzwilliam of Bristol and tell them that you’re an eligible bachelor 

Reggie: You know that I would never actually tell her any of that. She’d be upset with you, but she’d take it out on me and I don't know if I’d come out of it alive.

Lily: Good to see that you’re not in an overly dramatic mood this morning

Reggie: ;)

There was also a text from Mary. 

Mary: Listen, I know what Reggie is going to tell you but he’s a liar and I don’t even know how to use photoshop on my phone sooo

Lily: Liessss

There was a text from Emma as well. 

Emma: Don’t check twitter. I know you said to just let it play out, but I’m not going to do that and I’m going to fix this thing with Bertram. Sorry that I didn’t tell you everything that I knew, but I didn’t know that it was actually an issue or I would have sat you down and slapped some sense into you weeks ago. 

Her texts were always long. 

Lily: Glad to see you’re feeling better!

And she ignored everything else she’d said. She didn’t know what Emma planned to do to ‘fix’ the situation with Bertram. She knew that the photo of them had blown up far more than the last photo had, but she still thought that the best way to handle things would be to just leave it be. Nothing was actually going to happen between her and Bertram, so why dwell on a photograph. 

She slid her phone back into her pocket and pushed the door to the dining hall open. Her gran was seated at the head of the table, James was sitting in his usual spot, Bertram, Mary and Reggie were nowhere to be seen. She tried to pretend that seeing James this morning didn’t effect her any differently than it normally did. 

“Good morning,” She said brightly, pausing to kiss her gran on the cheek and then she took her seat and smiled at James. 

“Good morning, darling,” Anita grinned. “Your photos have arrived, and I figured that you’d want to see them before they get released them to the public. I don’t think Emma has released them yet anyway.” 

Lily watched her gran slide a manilla envelope across the table. “Well, thank you for trying to get them to me first,” She turned to look at James, who she hadn’t spoken to yet. Hopefully that didn’t seem out of the ordinary. “Do you think I’ll look as cold as I was?” 

He smiled. “I don’t know if they’ve managed to capture chattering teeth in a still photograph yet, but possibly.”

Anita rolled her eyes. “I told Emma if you ended up getting sick from that shoot, I was going to have to suspend her. I don't know what she was thinking.” 

Lily slid the photographs out of the envelope and was taken aback. “She was thinking that they would turn out amazing,” She said quietly. Just as with most photoshoots she’d been a part of since she’d taken on the role as princess, she didn’t feel like she was looking at a picture of herself. Pictures of her included baseball caps, bubblegum, Mary and denim. She didn’t know who that girl wrapped up in James was, but it didn’t feel like her. She remembered standing out by the cliffs, but she did not remember looking like some ethereal being that controlled the waves crashing up against the rocks. 

The color contrast, as Emma had promised, was amazing and beautiful and Lily couldn’t stop looking at the little details that she hadn’t noticed yesterday. They way her gowns had been swept up in the wind, how the grey sky reflected off the embellishments making them look like they were glowing. 

They didn’t look candid, not like the picture from the greenhouse, but they did look like they were having fun, they looked like they were at ease with one another, excited for their future, all the things couples in engagement photos should look. That girl, whoever she was, she looked as though she could be in love with James. She didn’t look like she’d spent the whole ride to the cliffs trying to decide if she was angry with him or simply resigned. 

She looked over at James and then back at the pictures. 

“They’re beautiful,” She said, sliding them over so he could get a better look. 

“You both look stunning.” Anita agreed. 

Lily nodded, looking at the photographs again. “That doesn’t look like me.” She said quietly. 

Anita looked over at the pictures and shook her head. “It definitely looks like you, Lily. We’re not going to pretend that they’re not photoshopped, but all they did was play with the color.”

That wasn’t what Lily had meant, but she didn’t know how to explain it to her gran, so she just shrugged. “Half of my toes were entirely white by the end of the shoot. I don’t think there was any blood in my feet at all.”

She was starting to feel like she was in a fishbowl again. 

“When are the pictures going out?” James asked, just as Emma walked into the dining hall. 

“They are out now.” She grinned. “Which will definitely eclipse that other picture from yesterday. Moody still hasn’t found out who sold it, by the way. But we’re going to be talking to year ten kids today, so you better be prepared for questions about Bertram.” 

“Yes, I also have questions about Bertram.” Anita clasped her hands together and looked between James and Lily. Lily took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, looking over to where Moody stood in the corner of the room. He nodded and walked out into the hallway, to make sure that no one would overhear the conversation they were about to have. 

“Bertram told James that he was going to try and seduce me into giving up my crown.” 

“Not using those words exactly,” James said quickly. 

“But that was the gist of it.” Emma nodded, for once, her phone was laying face down on the table. She was in Mary’s usual spot at the table. Anita looked around at all of them. 

“I only found out about this a couple days ago.” Lily said. “James told me after he got back from his parents’ house.” 

“Emma?” 

“I had my suspicions from the start, but you said, ‘keep your enemies close’ and whatnot. Then James shared some information with me, but I didn’t have any proof-”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t tell me!” Anita interrupted. 

“I second that,” Lily chimed in. “I mean, I’m glad that I worked out on my own that they bloke is a pounce, but still. I could have had far less to stress over.” 

“Knowing that he’s after your crown would have given you _less_ to stress over?” 

Lily shrugged. “I know that doesn’t sound right, but yeah.” Anita narrowed her brow. “Look, now I know his game, and I can play into it. The wedding is in- it’s in eight days. All we have to do is keep him convinced that no one knows what he’s up to for eight more days.”

James sighed and Lily turned toward him. He hadn’t looked pleased about this when she’d told him as much yesterday, but they hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk about it. “Do you really think that he’s going to keep playing the same game though? I mean, he’s going to eventually realize that you’re going to go through with the wedding, even if he believes that you’re falling in love with him. You think he’s just going to bow out gracefully?” 

Anita still looked bristled from having been kept in the dark, and Lily understood that. She should have gone to her gran after James had told her the truth, but she hadn’t been ready to share it all just then. And there hadn’t been time yesterday. She could have made time, but instead she’d just had a lot of really tense and flirty interactions with James. 

She bit her tongue. “No. I don’t think that he’ll just bow out gracefully. But I also want to be there and watch his stupid face when he realizes that I’m just pretending.” 

_It’s a shame that he’s not what you want._

Fuck off Bertram. James was great and she was lucky to be tied to him. 

“It seems like you’re playing a dangerous game. Especially if we have a mole in the castle.” 

“Moody will find the mole before I talk to Bertram again.” Unless he cornered her in the kitchen again. But then she would just run off or call for a cook or any of the dozens of things she should have done the first time she had been alone with him. 

“Yes, but don’t you think it would be better if we simply told him that his stay here at the castle had run its course.” Anita said. 

“Sure, and let him go and whisper poison about me to the members of parliament? His words carry more weight than mine do with those men and he knows it.” She remembered their conversation from the garden. She should have known so many times over just how not great Bertram really was. “You are the one who said that it’s best to keep your enemies close. When we invited him here in the first place we were sure that he had nefarious intentions. I’m the only one that got the wool pulled over my eyes.” 

Anita gave Lily a look and then reached for her tea. “Did he accept the position with Alice Fortescue?” 

“Yes, but I’m not sure how sincere he was.” Lily shook her head. “I offered, but he wasn’t as interested as soon as he realized that I’m not on the board. Which is dumb, because if there was one truthful thing he said, it was what he said about his mother.” 

“He was being truthful about his mother,” Anita nodded. “But he was raised by his uncle, and his uncle has always wanted him to be king.” She sighed. “I was hoping that he was being truthful about his intentions here, but I’ve known his uncle for a long time. Bertram might have been a sweet boy at one point in time, but he’s full of anger and ambition now, and that’s a dangerous combination.” 

Most men were angry when they didn’t get their way. But she didn’t say that, she just sighed. “So you think we should just kick him out then? I mean, I did tell him to leave yesterday if he couldn’t behave himself.” And if he was still here, that meant that he hadn’t given up on this particular plan yet. 

Anita sighed. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to keep him around for the rest of the weekend. Less free time for his uncle to come up with another plan.”

Emma nodded, glancing at her phone as it buzzed on the table and then up at Lily. “And so long as you’re staying away from him until Moody finds out who the mole is, I suppose we don’t have anything to worry about.” She looked over at Anita. “I’m doing some press today to talk up the wedding and maybe Sunday we can do brunch or some wedding planning activity, nothing that would take too long but we’ll have guests so,” She tapped her fingers against the table and shrugged a shoulder. “I’m open to suggestions.” 

Lily shook her head. “Great segway, and nothing that’s early in the morning. I plan to not get too much sleep tomorrow night. My fancy friends are coming from all over the world and we’re turning the staircase into a slide. Also, I’ve got to beat James at badminton on Sunday morning.” 

Anita laughed and Emma smiled at her. James looked confused. “We’re doing what to the staircase?” 

Lily laughed now. “We’re turning it into a slide! It’s so much fun, we’ve done it a few times since I moved here. Grans the best at it.” 

“The best at sliding?” James brows was still narrowed. 

“No,” Gran shook her head. “No, queens don’t slide. I fly.” 

“She stands on a mattress and surfs down the slide.” Lily grinned, 

Now his brows were raised. “Really?” 

“Don’t look so surprised,” Anita grinned. “I know how to have fun.” 

“Speaking of fun, you should come to the schools today, Gran. If you don’t, people will start to ask about your health.” 

“That is not a fun thing to talk about. Besides, I’m healthy.” 

“Yes but gossip doesn’t rely on the truth and I was pulling an Emma,” Lily shrugged. 

“I liked it,” Emma was back on her phone. “And I agree with Lily. We don’t need questions about your health circulating, and having the public see the three of you together will be good. Yesterday you were only sitting in a carriage, though the press did get some very nice family shots of the three of you.” Lily glanced over at James, without turning her head. She wondered if his stomach felt weird when Emma had included him as part of their family. It wasn’t a bad weird though. 

Anita nodded. “Yes, well I was planning on going anyway. I promised one of the students at St. Catherine’s that I would bring her a book the next time I saw her.” 

“Oh, good memory,” Emma snapped her fingers. “Because I had forgotten about that. Also, stop promising people things so I don’t have to remember them please.” 

Anita waved off her comment. “I’m going to get the book, you two can finish breakfast. Emma… do whatever it is that you do.” 

“Right’o, boss.” Emma gave her a mock salute and then left the room, somehow easily avoiding the door even though her eyes were glued to her phone. 

Once they were alone, James looked at her with a smirk and tilted his head. “So?” 

“I haven’t decided yet!” She said, knowing exactly what he was going to bring up. 

“What do you mean you haven’t decided!” 

“That isn’t a phrase that normally has a secret meaning. I mean that I haven’t thought of something good yet.” 

“Do you need help?” He asked, turning back to his food and reaching for his orange juice. “You could call me ‘Prince Charming,’ or-”

“Prince Charming? Excuse you, I’m the princess here.”

“Right, I’m just a lowly, Lord. But Lord Charming doesn’t really have the same ring to it.” 

“I’ll figure out something.” 

“Best badminton player ever, is another option.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “I really don’t think I need your help.” 

“I’ve given you two really good options.” James grinned. “I don’t know why you can’t see that.” 

She took a bite of her toast and then turned toward him, letting her knees brush up against the side of his leg. “When are your friends coming back?” 

“Wednesday.” 

“Your parents?” 

“Sunday.” James pushed his glasses up his nose. “When is your mum coming?” 

Lily shifted in her seat. “Friday.” She tried to smile, but she was kind of jealous. James’ parents were coming in just a couple of days, and they would be here for almost a week before the wedding. Her mum would be here Friday and then she would leave on Sunday. Petunia wasn’t coming at all. “I’m very excited about meeting your parents. You’ve done amazing work making your mum sound like a bad arse.” 

James laughed and nodded. “She definitely would be glad to hear that.” He sat up a bit straighter and cleared his throat. 

“It is what it is, James.” She said before he could ask. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his shoulder. James turned his head and kissed the top of her head. 

“Did you just get toast crumbs in my hair?” 

“Maybe.” He reached up with his free hand and mused her hair. 

It was a long day, to be sure, but it could have gone worse. 

Going to the schools was always fun, even if they did ask some more difficult questions, James was able to jump in and answer a few of them for Lily and she appreciated that. And then dealing with individual parliament members was never super fun, but Lily had a few very good conversations that she hoped would make way for positive change in the near future. 

Even though she didn’t leave her office feeling defeated, as she sometimes did, she still went straight to her room and took off her heels and her skirt and then fell backward onto her bed and pulled her hair band out. 

She felt like she hadn’t had a good lie about in her knickers in a long time, so she grabbed the remote, flipped to _Crikey it’s the Irwins _and then pulled out her phone, scrolling through her private Instagram account that she used to keep track of her secondary and uni friends. 

The first picture was of Michael, which was a little weird, because he didn’t post too often. But there he was, his arms around his band members and a big smile on his face. The photo was captioned, ‘L.A. here we come! Nothing can stop us now!’ Lily rolled her eyes, wondering how Michael could have posted something so generic, Mary would give him shit for that though, so Lily just scrolled to the next picture after liking it. 

Petunia shared a picture of Dudley eating cookie batter off of a beater, then there was a picture of Lydia Prewett, one of the girls she graduated Uni with. It was a picture of her standing in front of the Eiffel tower. Lily liked both of them and then scrolled through pictures of dogs and babies and books and food. 

Mary and Reggie both texted her in their group text, and she responded, because they weren’t asking her to do anything or to leave her room. Emma texted her about some emails and Lily texted back that she was off for the weekend. 

Then she decided to text James, because she didn’t always need him to text her first. She knew that they still needed to have a grown-up conversation, and that she still wasn’t doing everything she should be doing, but she thought that she was doing a lot better. She didn’t think Sirius would be mad at her, at any rate. She asked James what he was doing and then watched Teri Urwin give an old tiger a checkup. 

James: waiting for dinner. You?

Lily: Watching the urwins and scrolling through my phone.

She almost added that she wasn’t wearing her skirt, but she refrained, thinking that that was more sexy flirty than she was willing to be at the moment. 

And now she was thinking about the dream and the fact that she was in nothing but her pants on her bed, while texting James. She licked her lips and closed her eyes for a moment.

She had to get her shit together. 

Which she’d been telling herself all month of course, and it had yet to happen, so it probably wouldn’t happen for a while, but that wasn't an easy thing to accept. 

James: royals

James: theyre just like us

Lily: I think the public would be woefully disappointed if they knew just how much I was completely normal. 

James: you are extraordinary so I don’t really know what youre talking about

Lily made a strange humming noise and tilted her head back and forth. Was she supposed to tell her fiancé that she fancied him? Was that what was supposed to happen next?

But then she thought about the other half of the dining room moment from yesterday, how unsure and freaked out she’d been, how she’d asked him not to try and talk to her about things until after the weekend. 

James: youre obligated to let me know if I made you blush since I cant see you

Lily: Is that in a contract somewhere? 

James: i can get one drawn up if you need legal consequences to be the stakes here

Lily: You didn’t make me blush, but I do like it when you say nice things about me so I was enjoying the moment. 

What the hell did that mean? She stared at her text, wishing that there was an undo button. _Enjoying the moment? _Was that as cringy as she thought it was? James wouldn’t say anything though, he would just continue to tease her. 

James: i could say nice things about you all day if youd like

She bit her lip and shook her head. He probably would to.

Lily: I’d actually appreciate it more if you started using some punctuation. I feel like you’ve been extra terrible lately just because you know it bothers me.

He sent a gif of a woman with a hand over her heart, looking completely baffled that she could be accused of anything. 

James: i would never do that

Lily: Phones automatically correct a lot of the mistakes you’re making, so I think that you would, my dear.

James: maybe u should come up with a ‘moniker’ for me soon

James: i could alwayz devolve a little more

Lily: You know, if anyone ever hacks into our phones, this is the kind of shit that they are going to find. 

Lily: you teasing me with the letter z

James: saucy i know

James: every1 would be scandalizzzed

Lily: I’m not going to text you anymore if this is what I have to look at. 

The three little dots appeared and then Lily was humming _Honey Honey_. 

James: I’m choosing to take your threat seriously. 

Lily: Wise choice. My next threat was to make your name ‘Jim’ in my phone

James: I’m behaving, there’s no need for that.

James: Are you excited for your party tomorrow?

Lily: So very excited! I get to introduce Reggie to a lot of people that he’s heard Mary and I go on about forever. Do you know Marlene McKinnon?

James: She’s a family friend. She’ll be there?

Lily: Of course, I adore her! And Dorcas Meadows! She’s wonderful

James: I know Dory, she is wonderful

Lily: Completely!

James: Do you wanna hang out tonight? After dinner? 

James: Or do you have plans with Mary and Reggie? 

Lily: He’s here to see Mary. Tomorrow he’s here for me, but I don’t have much interest in being their third wheel again. I’ve played that part. What did you want to do?

James: Nothing special. Just want to spend time with you. 

Somehow that made her more nervous than she would have been had he said that he wanted to do something romantic. If he’d suggested a starlit stroll through the gardens, or a candlelit dessert raid in the kitchens, she wouldn’t feel her heart creeping up into her throat. Or she might have but at least she would know the parameters of an actual date.

But he hadn’t defined anything by saying what he said. Just wanting to spend time with someone felt more intimate to her than going on a date. Just spending time together was a lot scarier than him suggesting that they watch movies or play chess or badminton or any other activity. 

The three dots popped up again, but there were no songs in her head now. They disappeared. She was making him nervous. She clenched her jaw and responded. 

Lily: Oh, my time? Is that all you’re asking for?

Lily: I suppose I’m willing to give it

James: Thank you ever so much, your highness. 

She didn’t know for certain that he was nervous, but she felt like she knew him well enough to read him over his texts, and he seemed nervous to her. It didn’t make her any calmer though, if he was nervous then he was also thinking that there was a reason to be nervous. If he’d been calm about everything, then there wouldn’t be anything to be nervous about and everything would just be in her head again, as usual. 

Lily: See you soon, Jim

James: ttly

Lily: Shorthand bothers Reggie, not me.

James: well then i guess we go back to mizpelling and bad grammar

[Lily has sent a screenshot]

Jim: thiz is now war

Lily: Bring it, Potter.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, I hope you like this chapter as much as I do. Happy Sunday!

By dinner, she had sufficiently stressed herself out, as she was prone to do. She hesitated at the door of her dinning room and hummed slightly before she pushed open the door and walked in. James wasn’t there yet, she was both disappointed and relieved.

Mary and Reggie were already in their seats, which surprised Lily a bit. She’d almost expected them to take dinner in their room, rather than join them. She was glad to see them though. She missed Reggie and she liked seeing her friend so happy with the boy she loved.

“Lily, you’ve got to help me out here,” Reggie sighed, pushing stray curls away from his face. “Mary is giving me some guidelines to follow for the party tomorrow, but I think she’s lying to me.”

“Fair assumption,” Lily nodded, grinning at him. Mary scoffed and shook her head.

“I’ve never told a lie in my life,”

“That means nothing. Your pants are always on fire.”

“My pants _are _always fire.”

“Not what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant to say.”

“Not really.”

“Really, really.”

“Okay, but am I allowed to look princesses in the eye while I talk to them?” Lily snorted at Reggie’s question, both because it was a ridiculous question, and because he seemed genuinely distressed.

“Yes, Reggie, You are allowed to-“

“Lily, you’re ruining all my fun!” Mary interrupted, Reggie swatted at her arm and Lily laughed at them again.

Then she heard the door open and she turned to see James walk in. She was calm now, having been relaxed by Mary and Reggie’s bickering and ridiculousness. So while there were definitely some butterflies in her stomach, they didn’t make her feel like she needed to bolt. In fact, they weren’t all together unpleasant at all.

He was smiling at her, his hair slightly messier than usual, and he paused to push his glasses up his nose before he pulled back his chair and sat down next to her. 

She reached for his hand without thinking about it, but then after she’d done it, she started thinking about it. He was sitting on her right, and she needed that hand to eat. How long did she have to hold his hand now before it wouldn’t be weird to pull it away? 

He squeezed her hand after a moment and then let go, moving to fill his own plate with food while halting her unnecessarily difficult plans to extract her hand at just the right moment.

Lily pressed her lips together and picked up her fork. She really wished that she could just flip a switch and stop overthinking everything.

She didn’t miss the look that Mary shot her. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to get another talking to about how she should just shove James up against a wall already and that definitely wouldn’t help anything. If Mary said that, then Lily would crack and tell her about the dream she’d had last night, and all the other dirty thoughts she’d been having about James. Though less and less of them were focused on his hair, and more zeroed in on his hands and his mouth. His jaw...

She shoved a large bite of potatoes into her mouth and looked back over at Mary and Reggie, who were luckily too absorbed in one another to notice the flush on Lily’s cheeks that had come with her _overthinking. _

Or perhaps it wasn’t because of overthinking, and just because James was right next to her and the flush seemed to find her easily when she was next to him _and _thinking about certain features of his. 

James didn’t miss her flushing though, and that seemed worse than Mary noticing. 

But then Anita came into the room and Reggie greeted her very enthusiastically and started asking more questions about protocol for the party. Lily found the rhythm of the conversation again, started participating, and the nerves and embarrassment drained out of her once again. 

James was rather quiet though. And after about half an hour, he reached over and put his arm around the back of her chair. He wasn’t touching her, but she was very much aware that his arm was there. That if she leaned back in her chair, his hand would be brushing up against her hair, or perhaps the base of her neck. 

Another five minutes passed, Anita was listing the party guests and letting Reggie know where they were all from and what their titles were. James’ hand was on her back now. He had one hand on the table and the other was tracing circles on her back absentmindedly. Or at least it was meant to appear that way, but Lily was fairly sure that he was playing games with her. If she was right, he was trying to see how far he could push things to get her to blush again. 

Seeing as how she’d almost blushed with his arm on her chair, the scales weren’t really tipped in her favor at the moment. She looked over at him, glaring slightly, but he just smiled at her, looking all innocent.

A few minutes later, she was biting the tip of her tongue as she pretended to listen to what Mary was saying about a hospital, maybe, as James played with the tendrils of her hair. He’d never played with her hair before, so she took this as confirmation that he was very clearly messing with her. And even though she knew he was messing with her, she couldn’t focus on anything.

His fingers danced lightly over her back as they twisted and curled her hair, gently, sending goosebumps across her skin. She was just glad that he didn’t manage to make her shiver. Because she was quite certain that he wouldn’t be the only one to notice.

Dinner didn’t last much longer, or maybe it did, Lily’s sense of time couldn’t really be trusted. She had somehow managed to finish her meal, and then the five of them were bidding one another good night and heading in their separate directions.

James reached for her hand as they stood from the table and Lily let him lead her through the corridors. 

If gaining and losing one’s nerves could cause motion sickness, Lily would have been very sick by the time they got to his room. 

She waited until the door was closed before she rounded on him. 

“What the hell was all of that?” She asked, and she knew as soon as his brow went up his forehead, that he was going to feign ignorance. 

“What was what?” He was good at looking surprised, she’d give him that. But she wasn’t going to fall for it. She was more forthright than he was, that was one mark in her favor. So she crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down until he started to fidget. “It was… reassuring.” His hand jumped up to his hair and he turned toward the couch.

He took a few steps and then turned around and walked back over to her without saying anything. He put his hands on her arms and crouched slightly so they were eye to eye. She forgot everything that she’d rehearsed to say while they’d been walking here.

Lily wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with him looking at her like he was. He wasn’t saying anything or doing anything, he was just holding her shoulders and looking at her.

Like yesterday, she thought about kissing him. She also considered shoving him away and shouting at him again, but that thought was chased away by more kissing thoughts. She considered it more thoroughly this time. She thought about how nice it would feel to throw her arms around his neck and pull him close to her, to have all the space between them disappear for a few moments. She thought about how soft and warm his lips would feel against hers, and how his hands would feel against her skin. 

She was flushing again, and she knew it not only because she could feel the heat leaching out of her cheeks, but she could see the amusement in his eyes. 

“You weren’t reacting to me like this yesterday.” He narrowed his eyes. “Did Mary say something?”

She took a step away from him, though she didn’t want to. There was no way in hell that she was going to tell him what changed since yesterday. Besides, she wouldn’t be acting this way if _he _hadn’t changed his behavior. Playing with her hair at the dinner table and looking at her like he was. This was entirely his fault.

“No, Mary didn’t say anything. And who says that any of this is a reaction to you?”

“Alright, then what’s going on with your red cheeks?” 

Lily huffed and shrugged. “I don’t know! Maybe I’m getting Emma’s cold.” 

“You don’t look like you’ve got a cold.” 

“You’ve never seen me with a cold. You don’t know that.” She clenched and unclenched her hands. She should have thought about how things would turn against her if she called him out for teasing her. 

“That’s true enough. You might flush a lot when you’ve got a cold. Or maybe there are other reasons for it.” He reached out to brush his thumb over one of her cheeks and she shook her head and took another step back. 

“You’re the one acting weird.” She said, needing to regain control of this conversation quickly or their entire night would be ruined. Because she was certain that if she continued to feel like she was currently feeling, she was going to lash out and ruin the night.

“I’m not acting weird,” He shook his head, very nearly rolling his eyes. Lily huffed in frustration.

“I’m a redhead, my cheeks do get red when I have a cold!” 

He nodded and mimicked her pose, arms crossing over his chest. 

“And are you flushing because you’re getting a cold?” 

Asking outright was her thing and she thought that it was pretty rude of him to steal it now and use it against her. 

She huffed again and almost stomped her foot. “No. I’m not turning red because I’m getting a cold. I’m not getting a cold.” 

“Alright then.” And he didn’t ask her anything else. He just acted as though she’d already answered his question, the one he wasn’t asking aloud. He walked up to her and reached out with one hand, resting it at the base of her neck and pulling her closer, placing a kiss on her forehead, which was disappointing because that wasn’t where she thought he was going to kiss her for a moment, but also a relief because she wouldn’t have been happy if he decided to kiss her for the first time while she was unable to find solid footing. “Let’s watch something. I’ll even go for another Hallmark movie if you want.” 

He let his hand trail down her arm and he tugged slightly, but let go and walked to the couch before Lily decided if she wanted to follow him or not. Because what the hell happened now? Where the hell were they and what were they supposed to do next? 

Even though she was still feeling out of control and even though she had to focus in order to relax the different parts of her body, she eventually let out a breath and felt her shoulders drop slightly. James had already turned on the Hallmark channel and gone back to the beginning of whichever movie was playing by the time she made it to the couch. 

She’d lost a lot of her pretenses already, so she didn’t bother starting on the opposite side of the couch, or waiting for him to reach out to her. 

It took a minute of determination, but she just crawled onto the spot directly next to him and curled up into his side, letting him wrap his arm around her and pull her close. 

“Do we still have to wait to talk about it?” He asked, his fingers tracing up and down her arm, over her jumper. 

She ground her teeth together and bit her tongue before answering him very honestly, her voice quiet. “I feel very out of control right now. I don’t like it.” She didn’t always have to be in control of everything, she let her gran and Emma herd her about to where they needed her, she let Mary take the lead in different things that they did, but this was different. She’d only been in one real relationship before, and while it had been terrifying and thrilling, she’d never felt like this. Like she was spiraling or falling without anything to hold onto. 

And she knew that wasn’t true, she knew she could talk to Mary or her gran or even James, but she didn’t feel as though she had all the words that she needed because she hadn’t figured it all out for herself yet.

“What do you need me to do?” 

Lily huffed and slouched further against him and the couch, turning her head so that her forehead rested against his chest. “If I knew that then this wouldn’t be much of a problem, would it?” 

He gave a huff of a laugh and she felt him shake his head, though her eyes stayed on the tv. “I suppose it wouldn’t.” He was quiet for a few minutes, probably trying to give her time in which she could relax a bit more. She didn’t, but she appreciated that he’d given her a moment. “I’m going to say some stuff,” He said, keeping his fingers moving over her arm and his tone quiet, if not light. “And I don’t need you to say anything, I’m hoping that it will help you feel more in control. I’m not trying to mess with you like I was at dinner. Okay?” 

One of the characters on the screen started singing a Christmas carol and Lily was glad that James didn’t make to turn off the tv or turn down the sound. “Okay.” She said quietly. 

“Okay.” He repeated, shifting slightly, but he kept his arm around her and didn’t act as though he wanted her to sit up and look at him. She did anyway though, because she wanted to see his face, take in all the little details, be able to see how he was feeling just then. He seemed nervous, which was better than exasperated, she supposed, but she still felt her own heart start to beat faster. 

He took a deep breath. “I know that we’ve been dancing around it, but I just want to state explicitly that I fancy you.” Lily had known that; she’d let it cement into her mind yesterday during the parade. It still sent her heart into a tizzy when she heard him say it so confidently. “I also want to say that I didn’t expect to.” Lily shifted at that. “Because you can’t make yourself feel things for people. It’s either there or it isn’t, and I know how lucky I am to fancy you, because we’re getting married. I also know that you don’t see it like that.” 

Lily tried to interrupt him, but he reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m not done yet.” She closed her mouth and pressed her lips together and let him continue. “You said that you needed the expectation to be friendship, and I’m okay with that if that’s still what you need right now. Not because that’s all I want, or because I’ve resigned myself to believing that that’s all you want, but because I’m not in a hurry here, Lily. Our wedding might be a week away, but that doesn’t mean that this still isn’t the beginning for us. We don’t have to have everything figured out by then. It’s not a deadline.” 

Lily let out a breath and felt her shoulders drop. She felt like she might start crying, but she was definitely relieved by what he’d said. She felt as though she’d just been planted back on the floor, like the room was no longer spinning. He’d made himself an anchor, again. “It’s not a deadline.” She repeated softly and James smiled at her. 

“No. It’s not.” He still had her hand in his. “I’ve got the rest of our lives to get you to fall in love with me. And I look forward to it.” 

Lily took a breath now, sitting up straighter. “Those are very big words.” 

He was still grinning as he glanced pointedly at the tv and then back at her. “I’ve a feeling that you have some very big ideas when it comes to romance.” 

She laughed, and she hadn’t been expecting the laugh. She squeezed his hand and leaned closer again, nestling back into his side. “I might.” 

“You say that you don’t have a problem with arguing, but what about conceding? Is that more accurate?” 

Lily bit back the, ‘it might be’ response that would only prove him right. “I don’t know which is better, so I don’t know how to respond.” He laughed and kissed the top of her head. 

“I’ll put both on the list then.” He said against her hair and then pulled back. “Also, I feel fairly confident that I know how to make you blush now.” 

“Oh fuck off.” She muttered. And then in the same breath, “I fancy you too.” 

She felt his head fall back against the couch. “Of course you tell me to fuck off at the same time you admit you fancy me.” She pinched his side. “Ow.” Though she hadn’t really hurt him. “What if I start pinching back?” He asked, letting go of her hand and moving his hand to her side. 

She knew what he was going to do before he did, “Don’t.” She said, trying to scoot away from him, but he pinched her side, which tickled as he knew it would, and she squealed and tried to move further down the couch again. 

“You started this,” He reminded her, reaching out to tickle her side again. 

“I know, but I’m very ticklish and I miscalculated!” She squealed as he pinched her side again. “Stop it!” She laughed, trying to push his hand away as he got closer to her. She was running out of couch and the nervous energy that came with knowing you’re about to be tickled only made her laugh more. 

She heard James swear before she heard the latch of the door closing. She pushed herself upright, just managing to avoid hitting her head against James’ chin, and spun around to see Arden and Benjy, James’ household staff, walking in. “Evening,” Arden said, nodding to Lily and then to James. “Ms. Mary might be looking for you.” He said to Lily. 

“She loves it when you all call her that you know.” Lily sighed. “And I doubt she’ll look for very long. She’s very easily distracted when Reggie is around.” 

“He is fit,” Benjy nodded, and Lily laughed. 

“Despite his name and everything,” Lily nodded, glancing over at James, who had his brow narrowed at the boys.

“You asked us to come here after dinner?” Arden said and Lily frowned, looking back at them.

“I don’t think I did. I haven’t seen the two of you in we- You’re talking to James.” She pressed her lips together and turned toward James again, who now had his hand in his hair and a more prominent glare. 

“I did.” He said tightly. Lily blushed because of what he wasn’t saying. How they should have chosen not to come in when they heard Lily laughing like she’d been. 

“Well, we’re here,” Arden didn’t look as though he was sorry at all. He actually looked amused by the whole thing. 

“Can you go and retrieve the package that I had delivered yesterday. I’d get it myself if I knew where it was.” 

Benjy nodded, “Yeah, we’ll go and fetch it for you. We’ll be back in five minutes.” There was a bit more inflection on the last couple words.

Arden, “If that’s alright with you, of course.” 

They were teasing him, and Lily smiled at the lot of them, forgetting to be embarrassed herself.

“Yes, it’s alright with me.” James said with a tight smile.

“Good, good. We don’t want to upset the lordling.” Benjy nodded his head and Arden acted as though he were tipping an invisible hat.

“I’ve miss, you two,” Lily grinned, shaking her head as they walked away. “I don’t miss you’re cooking Arden, but I’ve miss you.” 

“Always a pleasure, princess!” Arden called back.

“They were teasing you as well,” James reminded her as Benjy winked at her before he closed the door. James reached out and shoved her shoulder lightly. “Or do you not mind when they tease you.” 

“Not when it was bothering you so much,” She shrugged and sat back down, facing the tv again. They’d ended up on nearly opposite sides of the couch again. “Also, they got you to stop tickling me so,” She tucked her hands into her lap.

James pressed his lips together. She smiled at him.

“You’re not going to ask about what they’re going to go and get?” 

She hadn’t thought to ask, she’d been too distracted by James’ disappointed face and the arrival of two friends. “Is it for me?” 

“Is that the only way you’ll be interested?” He asked, a playful half smile on his face. 

“No, but I think it’s for me.” 

He sighed. “I’ve managed to surprise you once, I’ll do it again.” 

“I mean, I am surprised, in the sense that I didn’t know that you had something sent to the castle. Why did you hide it?” 

“So that you couldn’t find it.” He shrugged. “You said that if I hid it, then you’d be able to hunt it down. So, I gave it to Benjy and Arden to hide.”

“You got me chocolate?” She asked, her brow going up. 

He sighed again. “Just pretend that you’re surprised when it gets here.” 

She laughed and pulled her legs onto the couch, kicking them out so her feet were on James’ lap. “If you hadn’t brought it up, then I would have been surprised when it got here.” 

He looked her over for a minute and then he looked at the tv, shaking his head but unwilling to admit that she was right.

Lily looked back at the tv as well. If she hadn’t seen every single Hallmark Christmas movie, she’d be lost, but her memory filled in the holes as she watched a man decorate a tree with two young girls, his nieces. “You can put on a movie that you like, if you want.” 

James looked over at her. “We’re not really watching a movie right now, are we?” 

“No,” Lily tilted her head, ”But I’m about to be given food, so I’ll be ignoring you when it arrives. If you want to turn on a movie that you’ll enjoy, then you’ll have something to do.” 

He let out a breath of laughter. “That’s all it takes for you to forget I exist? Chocolate?” 

“If you sent for it, I’m sure it’s very _good _chocolate. If that makes you feel any better.” 

James reached for the remote and started clicking through the tv guide. 

Benjy and Arden arrived while he was looking through titles, his hand resting on her shins. She wiggled her toes in excitement as Benjy went to hand James the long white box. 

“Just give it to her, she’s already figured it all out.” He nodded in her direction and Lily held out her hands. 

“He was too pleased with himself and accidentally told me.” She countered with a large smile. “Thank you!”

“Next time we’ll try and be more… receptive.” Arden was grinning and Lily watched James as his ears turned red. She pulled her leg back so she could poke him with her toe.

“Thanks,” He muttered. 

“Evening, Lord Potter. Princess,” They both bowed their heads and then they were gone again. 

“So, which movie did you pick?” 

“You’re not going to tease me anymore?” 

“No, I’m done for now.”

“Because of the chocolate?” 

“Yes. Because of the chocolate.” 

“Maybe because I also made you feel better?” 

She shrugged a shoulder as she opened the box. “I’m not going to pretend that it’s not entirely because this smells absolutely amazing.” 

James laughed and rubbed his hand up and down her leg, not going over her knee, but still making Lily entirely aware of exactly where his hands were. She thought it was stupid that her heart started beating faster. And that was before he said, “I can’t believe that I get to marry you.” 

Lily woke up the next morning, still on James’ couch. 

There was a blanket draped over her, a pillow under her head that smelled like James, she could see her phone on a charger sitting on the coffee table in front of her and the tv was off now. She moved her feet, and noticed that James was no longer sitting at the other end of the couch, which, judging by the grey light coming in through the window, was a good thing. She leaned up a bit and looked around, but she didn’t see him anywhere. 

She almost called out for him, but when she checked her watch, it told her that it was 4:36 in the morning, and she didn’t want to wake him up, wherever he was. She sat up and reached out for her phone. There was a sticky note attached to it. 

_I didn’t want to wake you, both because you looked so peaceful and because I wasn’t entirely sure that you wouldn’t pinch me if I did. Hope you slept well xx James (not Jim)_

She shook her head at the note, feeling entirely too awake for the time that it was. She stood up, straightening her skirt and blouse, which she hadn’t changed out of before coming to James’ room last night. She should have asked to borrow joggers when she felt herself getting tired. Or she should have gone back to her own room, but she really hadn’t wanted to do that. 

Now that James wasn’t on the couch with her though, she did want to go back to her room and change into something more comfortable, crawl into her bed and sleep in, which she would be able to do since it was Saturday. 

She started across the room with her phone in one hand, and her shoes in the other. She paused when she heard the rustling of sheets and looked to her left, finding James shirtless and sprawled out in his own bed. 

She gasped.

She’d known that he was fit, she’d seen his arms in action when they played badminton, had felt them on numerous occasions over the last few weeks, but his back was also something glorious to behold. And his bed tousled hair was quite something as well. 

She stood there for a moment, staring and wishing that she had the courage to throw caution to the wind and just climb into bed with him. He wouldn’t care if she dug through his drawers until she found a pair of comfy pants to wear. And she didn’t think he’d mind if she curled up next to him either. 

Perhaps he’d even kiss her. Which he hadn’t last night. There had been a few points in which she had thought he would, but he hadn’t. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that overall. She knew that taking it slow was a good idea, she’d been a strong advocate for taking it slow.

But also, she really wanted to snog the bloke. 

Apparently, she also wanted to stare at him while he slept, because her feet were not moving her away from this spot. She watched his back rise and fall with his breathes and she tried to work out just why she couldn’t seem to make herself do _something_. 

Going to join him in bed was a big thing, and a big thing that she knew she wasn’t ready for. But she could have kissed him last night. That wasn’t a big thing. People kissed each other all the time. Mary had been telling her to snog James since he showed up at the castle- _before _he showed up at the castle. She didn’t need to wait for him to do it. 

She could have kissed him after he said that he couldn’t believe that he got to marry her. She’d kept thinking that over and over last night. How she could have set down the box of chocolates, sat up and pushed her way down the couch. How she could have placed her hands on either side of his face and pressed her lips to his. 

She had somehow kept from blushing and so James was none the wiser. 

She shook her head, deciding that she could figure all this out at a more reasonable hour and that she should leave before she woke James up with the intensity of her stare. 

She walked out the door silently, closing it carefully behind her and then she looked back at the door, smiling slightly at the thought of James on the other side and how he’d taken care of her last night when she’d fallen asleep during the stupid movie he’d picked out. 

He was a good bloke, and she couldn’t believe that she got to marry him. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Happy Sunday! This chapter is a long one, but I didn't really want to cut it down, so you just get a few (thousand) extra words! Hope you don't mind :)

“It’s not going to take Emma long to work out that I lied to her, so up and at ‘em,”

This was Mary’s way of waking her up Saturday morning after she’d managed to fall back asleep once she was tucked into her own bed, and Lily could feel in her bones that it was far earlier than nine o’clock, which was how late she’d been planning to let herself sleep till. 

She let out a dramatic sigh, debating whether or not she should roll over and shove her head under the pillow, try and fight Mary, or just give in since fighting her would be futile. It had always been futile.

“Lily, we really do need to talk.” This was Reggie’s levelheaded voice, and it sent a jolt of adrenaline through her as she pushed herself off her pillows.

Something wasn’t right.

“What’s going on?” She asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. She didn’t feel as though she’d just been pulled from a deep and dreamless sleep, even though she had been. 

Mary walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of her bed. “Where were you last night?” 

If Mary hadn’t sounded so serious just then, she would have lied to her, tried to tell her that she’d been here in her rooms all night. But she did sound serious and Reggie was standing behind her, looking as though he was about to start pacing. 

“I was with James until a few hours ago.” She said, too concerned about why they were looking at her like that to feel the need to blush or try and explain herself. 

“Okay, that’s what I assumed,” Mary had nodded. “And that’s what we’re going to have to tell everyone. Probably. I’m not a social media expert. Emma will be here soon.” 

Lily shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. “What are you talking about? Who are we going to have to tell? It’s no one’s business who I was with last night.” She sat up straighter, looking over at her phone, but she didn’t reach for it. She knew she wasn’t going to like whatever information it would give her. She looked back at Mary. She’d rather it come from her.

Mary sighed and shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Lils. This shouldn’t be happening.” 

“Mary, _what_ is happening?” She asked. 

Mary opened her mouth to answer her or to placate her further, but then Emma and her Gran were storming into the room. 

“What were you thinking?” Emma shouted, a volume that was much too loud for this hour, whatever hour it was. 

“What are you all going on about!? Someone just tell me!” She could hear her phone buzzing on the nightstand, and she wanted to throw it across the room.

Anita took a deep breath and took a seat on the other side of the bed, “There is a photo of you circulating around the internet. Most people believe that it depicts you leaving Bertram Aubrey’s suite very early this morning.”

“There is more than one picture.” Emma snapped. “You told us that you weren’t going to- And what the bloody hell would you be doing in-It’s time stamped at four in the morning-”

“Emma,” Anita snapped. “She is still the princess of this country; I’m going to have to ask you to revise your tone. I’m sure Lily has a perfectly reasonable excuse.” But she didn’t sound all that sure, even as Emma took a breath and let herself be admonished. 

“I apologize. But the wedding is only a week away. There will be so much damage control to do- if James even still wants to marry her after this!” 

Lily felt as though she was underwater. She felt a rush in her ears and then that was all she heard. The people around her bed continued to talk, but she didn’t hear anything. 

This felt like a nightmare. 

She’d been afraid of something like this happening for as long as she’d been in the public eye. 

And this wasn’t just a scandal.

This was a _sex _scandal.

Despite the fact that there hadn’t been any sex, pictures held implications, and her walking away from some blokes door in yesterday’s clothes, her shoes in her hand and a sleepy, smiley look on her face… well that was a lot of implications. 

She couldn’t face them. She couldn't go out in front of the media and let them ask her questions about this. She couldn’t let them turn this into something that it wasn’t, she couldn’t let them have information about something that was none of their business. She’d finally let herself be vulnerable with James, and it hadn’t felt weird or forced or uncomfortable. It had been so nice to be honest and playful with him, and then this happened. Somebody had gone and ruined it.

She didn’t realize when she started breathing quicker, but Mary was soon at her side, wrapping her arms around her, stroking her hair. 

“Well?” Anita seemed to be directing that word at Lily now, for she was looking at her with expectant eyes. Lily forced herself to meet her grans gaze, let the disappointment she thought she saw wash over her and then took a breath. 

“I wasn’t with Bertram last night.” She said quietly. “I fell asleep on James’ couch while we were watching a movie.” She added the explanation only because she didn’t want her gran to go ahead and make assumptions about Lily’s sex life. Or to think about her having a sex life at all. It was bad enough that the rest of the country would be doing that as they continued to wake up today. 

Emma sighed, a deep and heavy and tired thing that Lily felt echo in her bones. “I’m sorry that I yelled at you.” And this apology seemed more sincere. “I should have assumed that you’d been with James and not Bertram.” 

“You shouldn’t have made any assumptions at all.” Mary snapped. 

Emma flinched, not used to be reprimanded at all, let alone twice within a few minutes. “Yes, you’re right. I shouldn’t have.” 

“However,” Anita nodded, her hands folded across her lap. 

“Yes, however, it doesn’t really matter what the truth is. What’s out there, is that you-”

“Sauntered out of Bertram’s room, yes, I’ve gathered. Thank you.” Lily felt as though she was about to start crying, so she pushed herself out of Mary’s arms, out of the bed and headed to the bathroom, a place she knew she wouldn’t be followed. 

She heard them all talking quietly as she walked to the sink and started washing her face. She hadn’t bothered to clean it when she got back to her room. She heard Emma say that she’d do what she could and then she heard footsteps shuffling and the door close. 

“Lily?” It was Mary. Lily started to cry, and the door opened. 

Gwen and Amelia brought her breakfast in her room at nine, after Lily had managed to kick Mary out of her room. 

It was all so much worse than she’d thought it would be. It wasn’t just the gossip rags that were running the photo and the implied story. It wasn’t just Bertram’s Uncle’s newspaper, it was all of them. The rags, the papers, the news stations. Rita’s article was the most scathing, but none of them were nice, none of them were true and Lily didn’t know what she could possibly do. 

There was a knock on her door and Lily felt her heart jump to her throat. It was going to be Bertram. He’d come here acting contrite and as though he wasn’t in on this latest act of sabotage, his most successful one yet. 

Many women never came back from something like this. Sex wasn’t something that they were allowed to take pleasure in casually, so they were demonized for it. Especially if there was a man who would have been hurt by it. Men had sex all the time, bragged about it even and it never effected their careers in the slightest. They could cheat on pregnant wives with strippers and not see any negative effects to their reputation, but women?

Her heart started pounding now. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that there was such a sure way to ruin her reputation, especially with parliament. How was she supposed to face them now?

She marched over to the door, ready to kick him out of the castle, kick him in the shin or throw hands if she needed to. But when she pulled back the door, it was James, and all the fight drained out of her at once and she almost started crying again. 

She quickly stepped aside so that he could come in and then he was closing the door and wrapping his arms around her. “I’m so sorry, love.” 

And then she was crying again. “It’s not fair,” She muttered, feebly, uselessly. 

He traced small circles on her back and held her against his chest. “I know.” He said. 

“I should have just kicked him out.” 

“He would have done something else if you’d kicked him out.”

“I know, but it wouldn’t be this.” She clenched her fists around his shirt and clung to him. 

“It might have been. We still don’t know who’s been taking the pictures.” James shook his head. “This isn’t your fault. Please don’t do that to yourself.” 

“They’re saying mean things about you too.” 

“I don’t care what they’re saying about me.” He insisted. 

“Why are they all so quick to believe it?” She felt so foolish, crying into his shirt, asking questions that didn’t have good answers, questions that wouldn’t fix anything. 

“I don’t know,” He sounded about as frustrated as she felt. “This isn’t fair, this shouldn’t be happening.” 

A new thought hit Lily and she pulled away from him to look at his face. “Sirius is going to hate me forever.” 

James narrowed his brow, “Even if I hadn’t already spoken to him, he wouldn’t believe what they’re saying over your word. He knows as well as anyone that the papers don’t always tell the truth.” 

“So he’s no more upset with me than he already was?” 

James almost smiled and shook his head, “No, he’s not anymore upset with you. He’s probably less upset with you.” 

“Because I spent the night in your room?” 

“I didn’t let him draw conclusions. I told him that you fell asleep while watching _Gladiator._ He said that he didn’t blame you.” 

Lily snorted, though it lacked any mirth or warmth. “I don’t mind that movie normally, I was just tired and full of chocolate.” 

“Of course,” He grinned, reaching up and brushing a lock of hair away from her face. “How do you want to face this?” 

“I don’t want to face it. I want it to go away.” She said, knowing that what she wanted was impossible. She pressed her lips together. “Emma thought that I’d actually been in his rooms.” She said, not sure why she was tattling. “She came in here and said that she didn’t know if she could salvage this, especially if you weren’t going to stick around.” 

“Maybe she’s still not feeling well.” James flinched. “She shouldn’t have said any of that.”

“I’ve never seen my Gran raise her voice at Emma.” Lily nodded. “I don’t know what to do though. The truth is much more boring than the story that they’ve made, and so I’m not sure that it’ll make much difference.” 

“It might.” He shifted and pulled his phone out of his pocket, looking awkward and unsure. “I might have a picture of my own, though I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it since someone else has recently taken a few pictures without your knowledge.” 

She narrowed her brows. “You took a picture of me? When?” 

“I was going to send it to you when you tried to tell me that you hadn’t fallen asleep during the movie.” He clicked a few things on his phone and then spun it around to show her. She was asleep on his couch, his leg was tucked up against her on the edge, and she was very clearly wearing the clothes that she’d been pictured in leaving the room. 

“Of course you were going to use it to tease me.” She shook her head.

“I could post it on Instagram, not mention the other picture at all. Then we can make a statement later if we need to.” 

She let a breath out of her nose. “Did you already talk to Emma?” 

“She said it was a good plan.” He confirmed. “She’s going to do all the legal stuff, like threatening to sue the papers for libel and telling them they have to print retractions and apologize for doing no investigating before running these lies.” 

Lily started chewing on the inside of her cheek, not sure what she wanted to do. “What if Emma can get them to retract without you giving her that picture?” 

"We could go that route. Emma is good at what she does." He nodded. "But the window of time we have to use this picture is limited." He said, though she already knew that. If they used it any later than within the hour, then it looked like they had something to hide. It looked as though it had been staged or altered. "Emma said that I could post it on my personal account and then it could be 'hacked' or screenshot by one of my friends- Sirius, she was thinking Sirius, since he's got such a large presence online. I don't even have to post it since I sent it to him-"

"I don't want to." She said quietly, shaking her head. "I just- I don't want to. I know that I should let you, I know that we should do it, but I don't want to."

The look on his face was hard to read, but she could tell that he wanted her to agree to this plan. She threw her hands in the air and shook her head. 

"They already get so much, James! I don't want to give them anything else!"

"I know," He said, reaching up to push his glasses up his nose and then run his hand through his hair. "And there's no guarantee that it would fix things. They might take it in another direction entirely."

"Exactly! And who knows what other pictures they have of us! Who knows what private moment they'll take next."

"It's still our moment, even if we share it."

Lily clenched her fists at her sides. "If we _chose_ to share it, then yes, I agree with you. But getting our arm twisted into doing something doesn't really count as choosing to share anything and I don't want to." She was so angry and worked up that she couldn't think of any better words to explain that to him. So she just leaned her forehead against his chest and let him wrap his arms around her again.

"Okay." He said, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. "Then we won't do it. We'll see what Emma can do."

"I know it would make things easier," She mumbled quietly.

"For other people, not for you. It's alright, Lily." He kissed her again and she took a deep breath. "This will pass."

Lily tried to focus on the fact that her birthday party was that night. In only a few short hours, the castle would be filled with princess’ from all over the world, ladies and duchesses and the like. She would play host to her friends and her peers. She’d been so excited for this all week, and now that it was here, she could hardly focus on it at all. 

She kept checking her phone for updates on the story. She kept scrolling through all the comments that people were posting on different platforms, she kept rethinking her earlier decision about the picture. Because even as the day went on, and even as Emma talked herself red in the face to every newspaper in the country, nothing seemed to be getting better. The story headlines were getting worse, if anything. Scandal invited scandal and the term ‘shotgun’ wedding was now being tossed around.

“I need to talk to him,” She muttered to herself, causing all conversation at the lunch table stopped. 

“Who?” Emma asked. 

“Bertram. They’re not going to believe me if I come out and say that it’s not true. But they might believe him. If his story matches mine-”

“Lily, he’s the one who started the story though. Why would he help you stop it?” Reggie asked. 

“Because he wants her to call off the wedding.” James said. He had a strange look on his face again, like he had for most of the day. “She’s not in danger of doing that right now.”

“Exactly,” Lily nodded, “So he might agree to help!” 

“But we still don’t know who the mole is, Lily.” Anita pointed out. “If you’re seen speaking with him today, after everything else, it will only fan the flame. We need to find a way to douse it.” 

Lily’s shoulder dropped and she looked down at her plate. “Right. How is there a mole in the castle? Who would do this?” 

“We’re doing our best to find out, princess.” Moody said from the corner of the room. “And when I do find out who they are, I’m going to make sure they are very sorry for what they did.” 

Lily gave him a small smile and nodded. “Thank you, Moody. I don’t blame you for this, I’m just disheartened to think that someone I know could be doing this to me.” 

“I’ll find them,” Moody echoed his promise. 

James reached over and squeezed her hand. 

“Everything is all set for the party tonight,” Anita changed the subject, sitting up straighter. “And that is sure to cause a distraction.” 

“Yes,” Emma allowed. “But we still need to find a solution that Lily is comfortable with.” She didn’t say it in a way that should have made Lily get upset, but she’d said it and apparently that was enough to set Lily off. 

She looked at James and then back at Emma. “I know you both think that I made the wrong choice, but I didn’t.”

“I don’t think you made the wrong choice,” James said quickly. 

“Well I do,” Emma shook her head. “And I know how you are with the media, so I knew that you were going to say no, but it would have made things so much easier.” 

“What would have?” Anita asked, just a fraction of a second before Mary could. 

“Yeah,” Mary narrowed her brow. “What could Lily have done to make this go away?” She sounded like she didn’t believe that there was such a thing, and there wasn’t. The picture James had wouldn’t have made the entire mess go away, it only would have softened the blow, offered up an alternative storyline for people to believe. Right now there was only one narrative. 

“James has a picture of Lily in his room last night.” Emma said bluntly. “And she doesn’t want us to use it as proof that she was with James instead of Bertram.” 

“A picture?” Anita sounded unsure. 

“Yes, a picture.” Lily nodded. “James had a plan to let Sirius leak the picture, and then-”

“There would be an alternative story. It would be easier for people to stick up for you and choose to be on your side.” Anita nodded.

“But she said no,” Mary said firmly, as though she’d heard about this before. She probably understood best why Lily didn’t want the picture out and so she would stick up for her. Lily gave her an appreciative smile. 

“I did say no.” Lily nodded. “And now you lot are upset with me and I’ve got reporters scouring the front lawn and about thirty guests coming tonight. Or at least there should be, we’ll see how many shows up now.” 

“A couple things,” James turned in his seat, so he was facing her. “One, I’m not upset with you. I’m furious at the situation, but I completely understand why you said no to using the picture. Two, I think your friends are still going to show up, so don’t worry about that. And three, maybe I should go and talk to Bertram.” 

Lily blinked at him. She wanted to argue with his first two points, but she didn’t know what to say about his third one. “What do you want to say to him?” 

“Quite a bit,” He admitted. “But I think I can get him to come out and deny that there’s anything going on between you and him. Like you said, his angle is to get you to call off the wedding, right? And this isn’t going to get you to do it. He’s probably dying to play the hero anyway, my groveling will only get him to do it faster and in the way we want.” 

“Interesting,” Emma tapped her nails against the table. But James didn’t look away from Lily. He didn’t care what Emma said, Lily could see that. He was waiting to see what Lily thought of his plan. If she was alright with it. 

“I mean, unless the mole wants to leak that James has also been seen sneaking in and out of Bertram’s rooms,” Mary shrugged. “I don’t think there’s much harm in trying.” 

Lily nodded. “Alright. You can talk to him if you want.” Though she didn’t like the idea of James groveling to Bertram. She didn’t know what James would say, but anything she thought he might say gave her a stomachache. He was going to have to let Bertram think he still held all the cards, that Lily was still in the dark and still having feelings for him. And even though none of that was true, it still didn’t make Lily feel good. 

James nodded, seeming to understand that it wasn’t something that she was completely comfortable with. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry, it won’t take long.” And then he was up and walking out of the room. 

Lily bit down on her tongue and looked at her plate of untouched food. 

“I hope he’s as persuasive as he seems.” Emma clicked her tongue and then dove back into her computer. 

Lily went back to her room after lunch, and Mary and Reggie followed her there. It didn’t seem to matter how many times she told them she was fine, they knew she was lying and wouldn’t leave her to wallow in self-pity. 

“Come on, Lily! Get angry! Throw something, shout about something!” Mary encouraged once they were back in her rooms. 

“No, someone might see me!” Lily threw her hands up and kicked off her shoes, despite what she was saying. They knock against the door of her closet and she let them fall to the floor and stay there. “They might take a picture of it and send it to some paper! They might get to construct a narrative of what goes on in this castle without any concern for the truth! They might add ‘raving’ to ‘pregnant whore!’”

“No one is calling you a whore,”

Mary wacked him on the arm. “She’s venting, don’t correct her.”

“Right, sorry.” He made a motion to mean she should carry on.

She didn’t though.

Her phone was still on her nightstand, where she’d left it this morning. She wondered for a moment if her mum or sister had seen what was happening, if either of them had reached out to her, but she didn’t want to check and be disappointed, so she just whirled around on her friends. 

“How can we have a mole in the castle?” She asked. 

“Moody is livid,” Mary shook her head, her arms crossed over her chest. Reggie was pacing. “He’s going to find whoever it is, and he’ll do it quickly.” 

“I know, but…” She didn’t blame Moody for what had happened of course, but he’d already promised to find out who the mole was once already. “James shouldn’t have had to go and talk to Bertram.” She sighed, falling onto her couch and pulling her legs up. “Bertram is going to be all smug and annoying.” 

“James is big boy, I’m sure he can handle himself.” Mary sat down next to her. 

“Reggie, I need you to sit. You’re making me nervous with all your pacing.” 

Reggie snapped his gaze to hers and nodded. “Right, sorry.” He sat on the edge of the chair across from the couch and then there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in!” Lily called out, and then she immediately regretted it, because what if it was Bertram or someone else she didn’t want to see? 

But it wasn’t, it was James. 

She almost jumped off the couch. 

She didn’t know what to ask him. She’d almost asked him if he was alright, but that certainly wasn’t the right question. Of course he was alright.

“It’s over.” He said, closing the door behind him and walking further into the room. 

“Your knuckles aren’t bruised or bleeding,” Mary mused. “So, I’ll take that to mean that things didn’t come to blows?” 

The corner of his mouth turned up, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No, not quite. But he is going to make a statement to the press, he’ll say that the papers have it wrong.” 

Lily took in a deep breath, fully aware that Bertram denying that they were together last night wouldn’t clear her reputation completely, but it was a win.

She crossed the room and hugged James, “Thank you.” She said quietly. 

“No need to thank me,” He said, pulling her against his chest. “We’re in this together. Partners in crime and all that.” She smiled and nodded her head. 

“Yeah, I know. But still.” 

“When is he going to do it?” Reggie asked, now sitting on the couch. Lily was glad to see he hadn’t gone back to pacing. Lily pulled away from James to see him looking around the room. He hadn’t come into her room this morning. They’d stayed by the door and Lily hadn’t realized that that had been his first time in her room.

There weren’t that many personal touches for him to find, as she hadn’t lived here all that long. She’d just finished up school and officially moved in about six months ago, and because her Gran had designed these rooms specifically for her, they hadn’t been ready until a few months ago. It looked like Lily’s gran had designed it _for_ her, but it also looked like her gran had designed it. 

Everything was more fancy than comfortable, except for her bed, which was the first thing that Lily perfected upon moving in. There were far too many pillows and blankets piled on top of it. Gwen and Amelia had quite the time trying to sort out how to ‘properly’ make the bed each morning. 

And then there were photos of Mary and Reggie and Dudley hung up on the walls, but not as many as Lily would like. It looked a bit impersonal overall, but it still functioned as a safe haven regardless. She’d have more say next time. 

“He’ll use twitter first, and then he’ll go out front and make a statement that they can plaster all over everything. It’s won’t be a perfect fix of course, but it should help smooth things over.” 

Lily nodded and looked at Mary, but she didn’t need to ask her to check because she had already pulled her phone out. “He’s already done it.” She said. “‘As much as I love the pleasure of our princess’ company, it makes me rather ill to see people using me to tarnish her good reputation. I shouldn’t have to say this, but obviously Lily did not sneak out of my room last night, or any other night.’” Mary looked up from her phone and she was frowning. 

“What?” Lily asked, because it sounded good to her. 

“I wasn’t expecting him to be helpful. Not entirely anyway, I was waiting for the underhanded comment to slip in, but that all seems rather aboveboard.” 

“It’s also the truth,” Lily said wiping her palms on her skirt and tapping her toes on the ground.

“Yes,” Mary shrugged. “I don’t know, I just figured… since he’s probably behind this anyway,” She bit her lip. 

“What’s his angle then?” Reggie supplied. Mary nodded.

“Exactly.”

“I think he wanted to play the hero.” James had his hands shoved in his pockets when Lily looked back at him. His shoulders were kind of slouched. For all she had thought that this kind of stuff didn’t affect him when they first met, she had been wrong. He hadn’t shown her that it affected him, but that didn’t mean anything. They had kept quite a bit from one another at first. “He created a problem that he knew he could fix for you,” He shrugged and gave her a halfhearted smile. 

Lily agreed with that assessment. “He’ll want to talk to me soon.” She wiped her hands on her skirt again. When she’d decided not to let him in on the fact that she knew what he was up to, she’d been so sure that it was going to be easy, but it wasn’t. He wasn’t as easy to predict as she’d thought, and he still seemed to be one foot ahead even without the knowledge that she knew he wasn’t sincere. 

“You don’t have to talk to him until you're ready.” Mary said quickly, “And I can be there with you if you want. I mean, I’m always with you anyway, so it wouldn’t look strange. Or I can hide, I’m a good hider.” 

“You’re a terrible hider.” James ran a hand through his hair and Lily laughed. 

“It’s true, you are.” She agreed. “You forget about your feet a lot.” 

“And your hair.” James added. 

“Oh shut up, you two.” She clicked her tongue and sat down next to Reggie, who put a consoling arm around her. 

“Thank you though, I might take you up on that.” Lily said. “I feel like he’s still ahead of us somehow.” 

“You can always kick him out,” Reggie reminded her. “Send him packing. Or let Mary have a go at him. I know she’s been itching to pumble him in the face.” 

“I really have,” Mary sighed dramatically, leaning her head back on the couch to look up at the ceiling. 

“You’ve been itching to pumble a great number of people.” Lily shook her head. “And I’ve already told you that I wouldn’t sanction violence just to appease your caveman tendencies. It’s not queenly.” 

“Bah,” Mary waved her comment away and then reached for Reggie. “Come on, let’s go. I want to go and stare at my ballgown for a little while. Or maybe I’ll just get dressed now and dance around the palace, pretending to be a princess from years past. I can gasp indignantly when you call me by my Christian name and act scandalized when you touch my hand without gloves on. It’ll be great fun.” 

Lily narrowed her brow as she watched her friend leave, wondering if Mary was actually going to do what she just said, or if she just wanted to drag Reggie off to snog him. Or maybe she thought Lily needed to be left alone with James. Or maybe it was a combination of all three. That sounded most Mary like. 

“I’ll see you for dinner.” Mary grinned as she and Reggie walked passed. 

“I’m sure everything will work out,” Reggie said kindly as he was dragged out the door. 

It closed behind him and then James walked further into the room. It was weird to see him here, especially now that they were alone. When she had been in his room many times, but it was part of her castle, there was nothing in the room that was James’ other than his clothes. It hadn’t felt like she was in his space. But James, being here, well he was in her space. 

“This isn’t really what I thought that your rooms would look like.” 

Lily followed him into the room. “No?” 

“No, it doesn’t look like you.” 

She smiled at his observation. “Probably not. My gran decorated it for me while I was still in school. Construction and whatnot only finished a couple months back. I like it, but I think I would have made a few different choices.” 

“It’s not very colorful.” 

“No, but it’s still cozy.” Lily shrugged. 

“It’s is,” He nodded, placing his hand on the back of the couch. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened with Bertram?” She asked, because she knew that he’d kept a few things to himself while Mary and Reggie had been here. 

He sighed. “He just got under my skin is all.” He gave her a small grin. “He’s pretty good at that. Always has been.” 

Lily shook her head. “I keep forgetting that you two grew up together.” 

“We did.” James nodded. “He’s had lots of practice.” He looked up at her, eyes wider. “You shouldn’t think that I didn’t do my fairshare of… bothering him as well.” She pressed her lips together in a grin. 

“You bothered him?” 

“I was a bit of a brute in my youth. Like Mary.” He grinned back at her. Lily laughed. 

“I do remember the Prime Minister and his wife telling me that a couple weeks back. And then you elaborated at the Dinner.” 

He rubbed his hand at the base of his neck. “I’ve done a lot to get people to forget about the trouble that I used to get wrapped up in.”

“You’ve done a fine job. If you hadn’t, then the people wouldn’t be so thrilled by the prospect of you being their king.” She leaned her hip against the arm of the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. “Pretty straitlaced now, yeah?” 

James hung his hand and let out a loud breath. “Don’t let Sirius hear you say anything like that. He’ll be so disappointed in me.” Lily laughed again. 

“I’ll keep it between us.” 

“Another secret.” 

“I’m sure he already knows, but I’ll keep from pointing it out to him.” She chuckled. 

“Well I’ll thank you for it. And I’m not entirely straitlaced now.” 

“No?” 

He narrowed his brow. “I’m just on my best behavior for the time being.” 

“After the wedding, you’ll show your true colors?” 

“Oh yes, I plan to make all kinds of trouble after the wedding.” 

“Well then now it’s my turn to thank you.” 

“I’m sorry that I took that picture of you.” James said, no longer smiling playfully at her. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” She shook her head. “I really don’t mind.” 

“With everything that’s been happening, I feel like I should apologize.” 

Lily shook her head again. “No. It’s not your fault that people are invading my privacy. You taking a picture of me isn’t the same.”

“I should have woken you up, so that you could have decided what you wanted to do.” 

“They could have been waiting there all night. It might not have mattered when I left.” 

James shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know.” 

“You told me not to blame myself this morning. Why should you get anymore blame than me? I knew that I was falling asleep, I’m not narcoleptic, I could have chosen to leave.” James looked at her for a minute and neither of them said anything. Lily took in a deep breath through her nose. “Maybe you can do the sneaking around for a while.” She suggested before she had much chance to contemplate what that sounded like or if she was worried about it. 

James smirked, “I’m very good at sneaking.” 

“I bet you are.” 

“So how do you want to playthings tonight?” 

Lily narrowed her brow at the second quick topic change. “How do you mean?” 

“There’s no press at the party, and while we have a mole to worry about, we also have a bunch of princesses and highborn ladies coming. I know Reggie and I aren’t permitted to stay for the sleepover portion of the night,” Lily giggled. “But we’ll make an appearance. So how do you want to play it?” 

“You and I?” She asked, though she knew that’s what he meant. “I don’t really think we need to worry about that.” 

“No?” 

“No.” She shook her head. 

“Because you fancy me?” He stepped closer to her. 

She looked down at her feet. “Just because I told you that, doesn’t mean you can throw it out and about whenever you please.” 

“Don’t get embarrassed,” He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I told you that I fancy you too, remember?” 

She bit the tip of her tongue and glared at him. “I’m not embarrassed.”

“You’re blushing.” 

He was so damn pleased with himself. “Yes well, that can’t really be helped at the moment.” 

“I know, but I have to point it out.” 

“I understand.” He laughed at her and she smiled, perhaps fully for the first time today. 

Then of course, there was a knock on her door and Emma came barging in without much concern for the fact that Lily was quite done with her for the day. “How did you get him to do that?” She was looking at James, and she looked so much less angry than she had this morning when she’d been blaming Lily for what had happened. Lily found that she was still annoyed with her. 

“I just asked him nicely.” James said, not stepping away from Lily. She reached out and took his hand, which seemed to surprise him. She smiled at him. He still hadn’t told her exactly what Bertram had said to him that had upset him so much.

“Right,” Emma scoffed. “I mean, it’s not going to fix everything of course, but I do like what he said out on the lawn as well.” She looked around the room before spotting Lily’s remote, rushed over to it, clicked on the tv and found a news outlet. Bertram wasn’t in the midst of talking, but the headline at the bottom of the screen read, ‘_Bertram denies affair with Princess.’ _

“It’ll also make tonight go more smoothly. Some of the guests were getting a little weary.” Emma was not looking at Lily, so she couldn’t tell that she’d just hurt Lily’s feelings, but James saw and he tugged her closer and put his arm around her. “Anyway, hopefully this will all blow over by the end of the weekend. I want everything to be about the wedding next week!” She left the tv on and started toward the door. “The team will be in to get you dressed shortly, Lily! We need to take pictures and talk to the press before guests arrive!” 

And then she was gone. 

Lily let out a sigh and fell back on the couch. “Maybe for our honeymoon, we tell Emma that we’re going to Paris or something and then just hide somewhere she’ll never think to look.” 

James laughed and leaned against the back of the couch, his arms crossed over his chest. “You need a break from her?” 

“I need a break from a lot of people.” She rubbed her hands over her face. 

“We can go anywhere you want.” James grinned. “My family has a cottage in the mountains. It’s cold as hell, but no one will bother you there.” 

“You can bother me if you want,” Lily said, her hands still over her eyes. James laughed again.

“Do I bother you?” 

Lily cracked a grin. “Nah, not really.” She pushed herself up, “I suppose I should shower if they’re coming to get me dressed in a little while.” 

“Yeah, I'll leave you to it.” He pushed off the couch and she jumped up and followed him. He didn’t seem to realize that she was behind him, because he stopped abruptly and was surprised when she ran into his back. 

“Oof,” She put her hands against his back and took a step away. “Sorry, though I’ve been doing a great job of not running into you lately, so it was past due.” 

James chuckled. “Your shower is in the opposite direction. 

“Yes, yes, you’re a smart ass I get it,” She tucked her hair back behind her ear and then reached out to hug him. “I just wanted to say thank you again.” There was more that she wanted to say, but maybe he needed a bit of distance from the whole thing before he wanted to talk about it, and she understood that.

“Stop thanking me,” He hugged her back, pulling her tightly against his chest. She liked being wrapped up in his arms. 

“Alright, then I just wanted another hug.” She could feel his chest vibrate as he laughed. “Don’t laugh, you’re really good at giving hugs.”

“I’m not upset about that.” He pressed a quick kiss to her temple and then she stepped back so she could look up at him. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” 

She nodded. “See you in a few hours.” 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter everyone! I hope you all have a good day, and read lots of fluff! Enjoy Lily's party!

At some point while she was getting ready for the party, she started to get excited again. She felt her anxiety give way to butterflies. She knew the mess with the pictures wasn’t over, and she knew that there was someone in the castle who was intent to catch her making a mistake that they could exploit, but she also knew that she had a bunch of friends coming over soon and she was excited to see them and talk to them and dance with them and eat junk food with them and slide down the giant staircase slide with them. 

She knew that they weren’t going to give her grief over the pictures or the implications and so she found, as the party got closer, it was easier to breath, easier to smile. Tonight she wouldn’t have to put on a mask for the public, tonight she would get to be Just Lily, and that was all that would be expected of her.

Putting on her ballgown made the smile come easier still. It was bright yellow, a color that was hard to look at without wanting to smile. She felt like a sunflower, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Her hair was done up in elaborate braids, twisting around a bun on top of her head, and one of her smaller tiaras encased it. She was wearing heels, but she knew that as soon as she stepped away from the press, they would be coming off and she would get to be barefoot for the rest of the night.

She got to see James all dressed up for the party after she was finished getting dressed, and that only made her smile even more. He was wearing a suit like the one he’d been wearing in their engagement photos, only Lily was not freezing her ass off, so she was in a better state of mind to appreciate all the subtle details of a well-tailored suit.

“Well look at you,” Lily grinned, walking over to the top of the staircase where he was waiting for her. “Quite dapper,” He turned to face her and she took his lapel in her hands, smoothing it out or just taking the excuse to touch him. His eyes were roaming her, and she felt like there was electricity dancing over her skin. “I’m glad you didn’t do anything to your hair too.”

James cleared his throat and reached up to let his fingertips slide down her arm. “I’ve got nothing on you.”

Lily smiled, fully aware that he could feel the goosebumps on her arm. “Yes well, it is my party. It wouldn’t be very nice of you to outshine me at my own party.” James laughed quietly.

“Yes, I did keep that in mind while I was getting ready.”

“I appreciate it,” Lily reached up and took his hand. “Though you’re standing a little close to the line,” She mused, fighting the urge to reach up and play with his hair by turning them both toward the stairs.

“I really don’t think I am.”

“That’s only because you can’t see yourself.” Lily shrugged a shoulder. “Just wait until the pictures come in tomorrow. Everyone will be talking about how great you look.”

James laughed again. “Sure, as though I hold a candle to you.”

Lily frowned at him.

“You’re the sun, Lily. Nobody can compare.”

Lily pressed her lips together. He was telling her that she was pretty, something he’d done before, but this was different. Just like his previous compliments about gardens and flowers, it hit her a little different than usual.

She squeezed his hand. “You can’t say things like that to me when I’m walking down the stairs, James.”

He squeezed her hand back. “I won’t let you fall.”

“I know.”

Having him by her side when the press arrived and started taking their photograph made the entire thing far easier than it had ever been in the past. She wasn’t worried about tripping over her dress, or saying the wrong thing, or making the wrong impression on someone who would then run off and write something nasty about her. She found that with James next to her, she was overthinking the whole process a lot less than she usually did.

It was even kind of fun.

And of course, James commented on how at ease she appeared. He credited it to her getting used to the cameras and being excited for the party. She told him that she thought it was more to do with him being there. He blushed and she smirked at him. 

After they’d posed for a while, and Lily answered Emma approved questions about the party and the upcoming wedding, her guests started arriving. 

Dorcas was first, and she brought three of her stepdaughters with her. The eleven-year-old named Ellanore, and the twin six year olds, Elodie and Elena. Ellanore looked a little putout about something, but the younger girls were ecstatic to be dressed in ballgowns and at the Princess’ birthday party.

“Dorcas!” Lily greeted her friend brightly. They were still in front of the press, so less formal reunions and introductions would take place later in the night. For now, cameras flashed as the two women embraced. 

“It’s so good to see you, your highness!” Dorcas beamed at her. “I’d have brought Elizabeth as well, but she’s in France with her mother for the weekend.” 

“Ah,” Lily nodded at Ellanore. “Is that why…” 

“Yes, but I’m sure she’ll start having fun in no time!” 

“I don’t know how you manage all those children.” James chuckled from Lily’s side. 

“I’m not sure how well I’m doing most of the time, but I’m trying. Some of them appreciate it more than others,” She shrugged and gave James a quick hug. “Just so you know, my brothers are expecting you to invite them up for a match sometime soon. Now that you live so close to them and all.” 

Lily wondered how well the Potters and the Meadows knew each other, because this friendliness didn’t seem like it was political or superficial. She’d have to ask James about it later. 

“They don’t want to play football in January!” James laughed, and Lily kind of figured that was her answer, obviously they were familiar with one another. “But as soon as the weather warms,” He promised. 

Dorcas smiled, took her younger girls’ hands, and walked toward the ballroom. 

“She’s my cousin.” James told her when they were out of earshot. 

Lily nodded, remembering that she had known that at some point only after he said that. “See, normally she’s the one who’s reminding me how everyone is related and what their names are.” She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. 

She greeted many other smiling faces, Princess Susan of Hufflepuff, Princess Andromeda of Slytherin, and then Marlene was there and rushing toward her. 

“Lily!”

“Marlene!” The countess through her arms around Lily and laughed. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

“I told my auntie that there would be no more traveling until after the royal wedding,” She pulled back and looked at James. “Good to see you too, James.” She nodded her head and James did the same. “I’m terribly sorry about all the nasty business with Bertram this morning. Would you like me to moon all the reporters now so that they’ll all be focused on me for a little while?” 

“You would like the attention.” James laughed and Marlene smacked his arm. 

“Why do you always say things like that?” 

“Why are you offering to moon the press?” James laughed, which only caused Marlene to roll her eyes. 

Lily laughed and shook her head. Marlene and James both turned to her. “I keep forgetting that I don’t need to introduce James to my friends because he’s known you all longer than I have.” 

Marlene laughed and pulled her in for another hug. “Don’t worry, love, I still like you more.” 

“I can’t say I blame you,” James grinned. 

“I’ll see you in a bit, Lily!” Marlene waved and then started down the hall. 

Lily turned to James. “She and her aunt started having Christmas with my family after the fire.” He said, and she could tell by his voice that he had known her family well before they passed in the terrible accident. 

“I’ve met her aunt. I’m sure she was hoping the two of you would marry.” Lily smiled as she squeezed his hand, this time in comfort. James chuckled. 

“Her aunt hopes for her to marry any man with a title that they happen across. But it’s not going to happen.” He wasn’t referring to the fact that Marlene wouldn’t be marrying him, but rather that she wouldn’t be marrying any man if she had her way. And she would have her way. 

“No,” Lily agreed. “It’s not.” 

Soon all of the guests were accounted for and in the ballroom, so Lily bid the reporters goodnight and started for the room herself, feeling a hundred pounds lighter as Moody closed the door behind her. 

“Happy birthday!” Mary yelled very loudly, and then everyone else was joining in. Lily started laughing and covered her mouth with her hand. She was glad for her friends, she was glad that they had all come, despite the scandal of the morning. She was glad that there were no cameras in the room, she was glad that for tonight, she just got to relax and have a good time at her birthday party. 

“Mary! Dance with me!” Marlene called out from the other side of the room, and then they were both running at each other and girls were shrieking and laughing as they dodged out of the way. The music got louder and soon most of girls were jumping around and dancing. 

“You ever get jealous?” Reggie said as he slung his arm around her shoulders, appearing at her side like magic.

Lily laughed as the girls reached each other and started doing some fantastic movements with their arms and legs that she supposed _could _be considered dancing. “Nah, I know she’ll come back to me. Also, Marlene told me that she liked me more than she liked James so,” She shrugged. 

“It was rather rude.” James ran a hand through his hair. 

“You agreed with her.” Lily reminded him. “Now come and dance with me before you and Reggie get kicked out for the night!”

“Thanks for leaving me here!” Reggie called after her. 

“Consider it payback for years and years of you ditching me!” She laughed as she led James out into the crowd. “Or dance with literally anyone in this room and Mary will be back at your side before you can find out what their name is!” Reggie laughed and waved her and James on. 

She danced with James for a couple of songs, and then she danced with some of the other girls, she even got a smile out of Ellanore, she laughed the entire time and couldn’t believe that it had been so long since she was able to relax this completely. 

Eventually someone turned down the music, only for everyone to start singing happy birthday as Gwen and Amelia brought a large, three tier, green cake down the staircase that hadn’t been converted into a slide.

Anita came in with them, and once the cake was set down and the candles were blown out, she stepped up on the small stage that would be used for karaoke later on in the night. 

“Now, now, I don’t want to take up too much of your fun night,” She grinned at all the girls who had all taken a seat, their puffy gowns marshmellowed out around them. Lily had realized that most of them were wearing their pajama pants under their gowns and she wished that she would have thought of that. “I know that many of you do not get many nights like this, nights in which you are able to worry about nothing but having fun with you friends! I only wish to say a few words about my granddaughter, and then I leave you to it,” Mary stood up and took a bow. 

“They all already know how much I mean to you and how wonderful I am,” She grinned, “Though of course I never mind you singing my praise publicly.” 

“Sit down, Mary,” Anita chided, though she was still smiling and the girls laughed. Lily felt a hand on her back and she smiled when she saw that James had found his way back to her side. She had told him back when they first met that her gran wasn’t really the mushy type. 

“Lily and I have been through a lot together in the last six years or so.” Lily sat up straighter, hoping that her gran wouldn’t make her cry, but it already seemed like a very real possibility. 

“We’ve jumped through many hurdles and dodged many obstacles that a few men have thrown our way, and every time something new happens, every time I watch Lily navigate the difficulty with grace and dignity, I think, ‘_Now _there is no way I could be more proud,’” Lily felt her throat tighten. She knew that she didn’t always handle everything perfectly, but nothing beat hearing her gran tell her and everyone that she was proud of her. “She has her father’s spirit and good heart, and I can’t wait to see what she will do as she steps into her new role as queen. Lily, my darling, I love you more than you know and I hope that you know that I am always behind you.”

And then Lily was crying, “Damn it, Gran,” She muttered, walking over and throwing her arms around her. “You can’t make me cry at my birthday party, it’s against the rules.” 

Some of the girls were laughing again and Lily’s smile only grew. 

Anita pulled her closer, “I love you so much, darling. I always will, and I always have.” 

Lily kissed her cheek. “I love you too,” She said, reaching up and swiping away a few tears from her cheek. “But stop saying nice things to me now, I’m getting all weepy.” 

“Just like your father,” Anita shook her head. Lily hadn’t heard that she was like her father in that regard so it took her a moment to settle that information away. “Alright, girls!” Anita stepped back and looked at the small crowd. “I’ll let you get back to your party!”

A couple hours later, Lily was sitting on a chase, french braiding Elodie’s hair while Elena watched how her fingers moved. Dorcas was on her other side, her feet propped up on Marlene, who was throwing marshmallows into James’ mouth. Mary was somehow still dancing, though her partner continued to change, it was currently Susan and Hestia. Reginald was talking to a much livelier Ellanore who was on her fourth slice of cake and a smattering of other younger titled ladies who all wanted to know what he thought about an array of subjects.

“So, have you two decided where you’re going for your honeymoon?” Marlene asked, tossing another marshmallow toward James. He caught it and then shrugged, looking at Lily. 

“James suggested his family's cottage.” She said, deftly folding Elodie’s hair just so as she got closer to the end of the braid. “Wherever we go, it’s going to be secluded and illegal for paps to be on the premises.” 

“Speaking of,” Dorcas sat upright and looked at Lily. 

“We don’t have to speak of,” Lily shook her head, holding a hand out to Elena for a hair tie. 

“It happened this morning, and not for the first time, but definitely for worse,” 

“For worse?” Marlene and Lily repeated at the same time. “We’re not even drinking, Dory, what was that?” 

“Shut up, Marley, you knew what I meant.” Dorcas shrugged. “Someone is being unkind to my friend and I want to know how I can help.” She looked back at Lily and Marlene was looking at her too. 

“They said mean things about you,” Elodie said quietly. “But they didn’t say mean things about _him_.”

“It was a lie,” Elena spoke up. “So they shouldn’t have said anything.” 

Lily swallowed. She was sure that they were saying what they were saying because they’d heard Dorcas say something similar, but it was true, wasn’t it? Lily’s reputation had been shredded this morning, and Bertram would have gotten through relatively unscathed. “It was a lie,” Lily nodded, “But it’s all cleared up now. There,” She patted the girl's shoulder. “All done!” 

“I want to see!”

“Let’s go to the bathroom!” Elodie grabbed her sister’s hand and pulled her off. 

“Lily Jane,” Dorcas tugged on a loose curl. “We’re your friends. Use us.” 

“Please,” Marlene added, “Give me something to do with myself.” 

Dorcas clicked her tongue. “You have plenty to do, you just choose not to do it.” 

“I need something that will keep my interest.” 

“Not many things do, do they?” 

“You keep my interest.” Marlene winked at her and Dorcas’ cheeks tinted pink and she looked away. “What can we do to help?” 

Lily looked down at her hands and then sighed. “I don’t know.” She shrugged one of her shoulders. “But I promise that if I think of something, I’ll ask for your help.” She looked back up at them, and could tell by the look in both of their eyes that they were going to make sure that they held her to that. 

“Good,” Marlene nodded, “Maybe I should visit a little more often than I do.” 

“I always love your company,” Lily smiled. 

“Yeah, but I think I need to visit with Mary.” Lily frowned. 

“That doesn’t seem like the best idea.” 

“Oh? And why not?” Mary entered hearing distance with Reginald, who she’d rescued from the younger girls. She also brought with her, Susan, and Hestia. 

“Because you frequently talk about how you want to beat people up on live television for me and I don’t think Marlene would tell you what a terrible idea it is!” Dorcas laughed and Marlene pinched her thigh.

“I would to!” She yelled, “She’s five foot nothing and could be blown away by a light breeze!” Lily raised her brow, waiting for Marlene to go on. Which she did, talking over Mary’s protests that she was a big strong woman who could take down anyone. “I would simply suggest that maybe_ I _do the beating up and she can point the camera at me.” 

“I like that idea better,” Regniald said unhelpfully as Dorcas and Marlene collapsed into one another in a fit of laughter. 

“Honestly, we’ve had nothing to drink, why are you two like this?” Lily grinned. 

“I don’t remember the last time I’ve had this much sugar.” Dorcas said, reaching for her plate of cake that she had been continuously nibbling on for the last couple hours. “So that could have something to do with it. But I mean, honestly, I just feel as though I’m allowed to act my age when I’m with you girls.” She looked over at Reginald and James, “And you two.” 

James tipped his head at his cousin and Reginald waved his hand as if to say the concession was unnecessary. 

“Gran said the boys have to be gone by ten,” Lily reminded them. 

“Is she afraid of something untoward happening before the wedding?” Marlene wiggled her brows and looked back and forth between James and Lily. 

“I doubt it. Lily wasn’t sneaking out of Bertram’s room in that photo, but she was leaving _someone’s _room.” Mary had her head tilted to the side and a smirk glued to her face. Lily narrowed her eyes as the girls around her started giggling. Instead of blushing or getting embarrassed, she looked over at James, surprised to see that his ears were red. 

“Gran told the littles parents that there would be no boys at the sleepovers. In order to maintain political peace, we’ll adhere to her rules.” She said calmly. James looked up at her and she grinned at him. It was ridiculous how easy it was for a smile to appear when she was around James. “And even if the people we would upset by breaking the rules weren’t world leaders, I would still listen to them because my gran said a bunch of really nice things to me earlier, and she told me that she loved me _twice _and I don’t want her to take it back.” 

“She would too!” Mary cackled and Lily shook her head at her friend. 

The boys left at ten, about an hour after the sliding had begun. James was miffed about leaving since he’d not yet managed to make it all the way to the bottom while standing upright, but Lily promised him that the slide would still be there in the morning, kissed him on his cheek and sent him and Reginald on their way. 

Now she was in her pjs, laying on a sleeping bag between Mary and Marlene, listening to Hestia and Dorcas sing _My Heart Will Go On, _quite terribly into the karaoke machine. 

Mary leaned over and whispered, “_Near, faaaaar, whereeeeeever you are,” _Then she started giggling and Lily leaned her head against Mary’s. 

“I love you, you know that?” 

“I do,” Mary nodded, reaching over and clasping her hand. “You’re my favorite person, I know everything.” Lily laughed. “Happy birthday party, Lillian.” 

“Thank you kindly, Maryanne.” 

“I need a best friend like you two,” Marlene sighed. “I mean, I’m sitting here feeling as though I’m intruding upon an intimate moment-”

“You are!” Mary swung her head around to glare at Marlene. 

“Well, I wat to be included! I’m laying here next to you two! I managed to claim Lily’s other side! I’m important too!” 

Lily laughed, “Marley, no one said that you weren’t important. Mary and I love you too.” 

“Yes, we do,” Mary agreed, her glare transforming into a devious smirk. “And because we love you and because you want to be our friend, I have some questions for you.” 

“Oh? Yay!” Marlene crossed her legs and scooted closer. 

“How long you and Dorcas been making eyes at one another?” 

Marlene nearly rolled her eyes, “How have you not asked me this before? I thought everyone knew that I fancied her.” 

“Everyone does know,” Lily agreed. 

“Yes, but _she _was all blushy earlier. What happened?” 

“Nothing.” Marlene said. “And nothing is going to happen because she’s married and she’s a stepmother.” She looked off to where Hestia and Dorcas were finishing up their duet. “Hopefully someday though.” 

Lily reached out and took her hand. “I know that you travel with your aunt, but you really should hang around the castle more often.” 

“Yeah?” 

Mary nodded. “Yes, we both like you and very few other people can stand us for more than ten minutes at a time.” 

“We are a bit much for people.” Lily agreed. “At least when we’re not pretending that we’re not.” Marlene laughed. 

“Well thank you! I hope you’re as sincere as you sound, because I’m planning on taking you up on that offer.” 

“Good! Mary’s going back to school soon and I need more friends,” Lily squeezed her hand again. 

“Yes, and she needs to be teased about James by more people.” Mary said this just as seriously as Lily had said she could use more friends. Lily scoffed. 

“Yes! How have we not talked about James yet!” Marlene threw her hands in the air and Lily started shaking her head. 

“I don’t think we need to talk about James.” 

“She keeps saying that.” Mary said as though Lily was being the most difficult that she could possibly be. 

“Oh Lily,” Marlene shook her head. Then she turned to Mary and nodded, “I didn’t realize it was this bad.” 

“You know what, fine! What do you want to know?” Lily asked. 

Mary squealed and Marlene jumped up onto her knees. “Is he a good kisser?” 

Lily stomach squirmed. “I haven’t kissed him.”

“No?” Marlene raised her brows. 

“I’ve been telling her to snog him since he got here,” Mary gave Marlene another stage whisper. 

“No.” 

“Okay, well, do you like him?” Marlene asked. 

“Yes,” Lily nodded. “I like him very much.” 

Marlene wiggled in her seat excitedly. “You fancy him?” 

“Yes,” Lily nodded, “Very much.” 

Mary was smiling widely at her. 

“Then why haven’t you snogged him?” Marlene asked, and Lily felt her stomach squirm again. 

“I don’t know. I feel like we keep getting interrupted, or we’re never really alone. I don’t know,” She repeated, shaking her head. “Things will calm down after the wedding and maybe things will feel... “

“I’m sorry,” Marlene scooted closer again and took Lily’s hands. “I don’t want to add pressure to you. I know things are hard. I hope things feel more normal after the wedding. You’ll go on your honeymoon and finally get some real time with one another.” 

Lily gave her a small smile. “Thank you. And I’m hoping for that. But also, I do want to snog him.” Marlene laughed, and soon Lily was joining in, because it felt good to finally say that outloud. 

Mary reached out and smacked her. “There’s nothing stopping you, you know!” 

“I know,” Lily said, reaching out and tugging her hair. “But it’s not like I have a time limit. We’re getting married,” Lily smiled, “We’ve got the rest of our lives to work everything out.” 

Marlene pressed her lips together and smiled. “That’s kind of romantic, isn’t it?” 

“It kind of is,” Mary agreed. Lily tugged her hair again. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're in the home stretch I believe. If I had to guess, I'd say that there are seven chapters left? Does that count as the home stretch? Maybe eight. We'll see. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Let me know!

The next morning, after Lily thanked and hugged everyone as they left the castle looking, somehow, utterly pristine, she wandered up to her room and collapsed onto her bed, her heart feeling full to the brim.

Normally after a party that involved a bunch of royals and nobles, Lily felt drained and tired, but last night had been amazing. Being around all those girls, feeling their love and support as she got ready to enter this new stage in her life, it meant the world to Lily and she didn’t know how she was going to manage to repay them. Gift baskets just didn’t seem like it was going to cut it. 

She was full of adrenaline and nowhere near falling asleep, but she still felt as though she was pulled out of a trance when someone knocked on her door. 

She waited a moment to see if it was Amelia and Gwen, but when they didn’t just walk in, she got up and started toward the door. “Who is it?” She called, not wanting to just open the door and have Bertram standing there, ripe for another photograph. 

“It’s me,” James called out. “We’ve a game to play, princess.” 

Lily pulled open the door to find James in sports gear and spinning a badminton net around. She laughed. 

“And we have to be quick about it, because Emma wants us for something. Go and change,” He reached out and spun her around, pushing her lightly toward the closet. 

“Alright,” She looked over her shoulder. “I think the sweatband is a bit much,” 

“I’m a serious athlete, Evans.” He was keeping a straight face, which only made what he said that much more ridiculous. She laughed and skipped into her closet. 

Actually bloody _skipped_. She was so in over her head here. 

Luckily, they made it to the court before Emma found them, and despite her claims that she would wipe the floor with him, she fell pretty far behind in the first half of the game because James kept making her laugh and she couldn’t concentrate on what she was meant to be doing. 

“Look, darling, I know that I’m better than you at badminton, but this is just abysmal.” James ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “Are you even trying? What happened to all the trash talk?” 

“I should be furious with you,” Lily was smiling though. “But I don’t think I could be furious about anything right now if I tried.”

“I highly doubt that,” James smirked at her, now tossing the birdie up and down with is right hand as he looked at her. 

“Alright, I could try and be upset but I don’t know, I’m not feeling all that competitive. I just feel happy and full.” 

“Of cake?” 

“Oh, I am definitely full of cake, but no. I mean that I feel full in a different sense. I know that not everything is perfect, but yesterday was a lot of fun and today has started out pretty great-”

“You’re losing terribly-”

“And I just feel really happy.” 

James cocked his head to the side and stopped throwing the birdie. “Have you been sneaking champagne?” 

“What? I’m not drunk, James.” She laughed. 

“I’m just checking,” He held his hands up, palm out. “You’ve got that look on your face, the one you get before you start telling me that everything is sparkly and go lusting after pastries.” 

“I didn’t tell you that everything was sparkly, I told you that your eyes were sparkly. And the pastries.” Lily took her stance and swung her net around. “Alright, let’s give this another go, I promise not to collapse into a fit of laughter.” 

James grinned, “We’ll see.” 

“We will,” 

Lily lost spectacularly, and for the first time in her memory, it didn’t smart or sting in the slightest. They walked back inside, and James picked up his water bottle, taking a drink before he turned to her. 

“You know, you’re going to be claiming that this game didn’t count come tomorrow.” James didn’t look nearly as tousled as he had after their last game, probably because he hadn’t needed to try nearly as hard to beat her, but Lily still liked the look of his hair. It was slightly more wild than usual, thanks to the headband he had pulled off a moment ago, and there were a few strands stuck to his forehead. 

She reached up and pulled them free, pushing her fingers back to comb them in with the rest of his hair. She heard James swallow and looked down at him. “I really don’t think you’re right. I’ll kick your arse at badminton when I want to.” She shrugged a shoulder and James licked his bottom lip. 

He was going to kiss her. 

Actually, he was taking too long so she was pretty sure that she was going to kiss him. They were so much closer than she’d realized, and she felt like there was a ball of light expanding in her chest. Her hand dropped to his shoulder and she was smiling. 

“_There _you two are!” 

She was going to kick Emma in the shin. 

They both spun toward the new voice. “James, your parents got in thirty minutes ago and we’ve looked like complete arseholes because we couldn’t find you or Lily. That’s not the kind of impression- I should have checked the bloody court.” Lily’s stomach dropped. 

“It is what we do on Sunday mornings,” James agreed. 

“Your parents,” Lily said, feeling rather dim. “I forgot that they were coming in today.”

Emma shook her head. “No you didn’t, that’s why we’re doing a brunch.”

Lily also hadn’t known that they’d settled on a brunch, but she didn’t want to admit that to Emma, so she just nodded. 

“Where are they?” James laced his fingers through Lily’s and started down the corridor after Emma.

“You both need to change before you go and see them.” 

“No we don’t,” James waved off Emma’s concerns. 

“Yes we do!” Lily stopped walking. “I don’t want to meet your parents looking like this,” She gestured to her sports attire. She wasn’t even wearing a real bra at the moment!

He looked a little amused as he looked down at her. “You’re not nervous, are you?” 

“Of course I’m nervous,” She crossed her arms over her chest and started tapping her foot against the floor. 

“You’re their princess, Lily. They already love you.” 

“Because of national pride and whatnot, but they don’t really know me. I want to make a good impression. I’ve already mucked things up with Sirius, I don’t want to do the same with your parents.” 

“You didn’t muck things up with Sirius,” James insisted falsely, “And you wearing joggers and an old uni jumper isn’t going to make my mum and dad dislike you.”

Lily chewed on her tongue for a moment. 

“Well I’d like her to change.” Emma spoke up. 

“And I’d like to change. It’ll only take a moment.” 

“I’ve already got her outfit ready.” Emma nodded. “And yours. If you hadn’t run from me earlier, then we wouldn’t be rushing around right now.” 

James gave her a look as the three of them continued to remain sedentary in the middle of an empty corridor. “Alright, fine. We’ll go and change and then we’ll go and meet my parents. You do realize that when I met you, I also had to meet the _Queen, _yes?” 

“And were you nervous?” 

“Of course I was, she’s the bloody _Queen!” _

“Well I’m nervous to meet your parents as well,” Lily shrugged. “Now go and get dressed. I don’t want to leave them waiting any longer than we have to.” 

James laughed, but did as she asked and jogged off toward his room. 

She was ready in less than ten minutes, but she was sure that her racing heart had more to do with nerves than the speed in which she wrestled into her clothes. She was wearing loose grey slacks, a white blouse and a soft pink blazer. They’d done her hair half up, in an elegant looking messy bun and she’d put on a small amount of makeup. It was more formal than her usual Sunday outfits, but she was meeting her in-laws and it never hurt to put forth one's best self in these situations. 

She chewed on her tongue as she walked to the stairway and when she saw that James wasn’t there yet, she looked over at Emma and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“He’ll be here in a moment. I’m texting Arden.” She said, looking at her phone. “Apparently James has said multiple times that everyone just needs to calm down. Arden thinks he’s nervous too.” 

Lily let out a huff and shrugged her shoulders. “Of course he is, because he was acting like this was no big deal a moment ago. He thinks his parents aren’t going to like me, doesn’t he? Sirius got to them first and told them how terrible he thinks I am and now they’re not going to like me.” 

Emma looked away from her phone with raised brows. “Really, Lily?” 

Lily looked at her, surprised that she’d gotten this kind of response. 

“Almost everyone who meets you instantly falls in love with you, how are you still always so worried that people aren’t going to like you?” 

Lily bit down on her tongue again. She had quite a few answers that she was keeping at bay. Her father had not been in her life because she hadn’t been important enough to him, her mother no longer talked to her unless it was necessary, her sister was choosing to go on vacation instead of coming to her wedding… not everyone liked her. Some people knew her very well had decided that she wasn’t worth the trouble. Some people who should have loved her unconditionally had chosen to not even visit her, only writing her a few sparse notes and one letter over the course of sixteen years. And her Gran, who she loved dearly, had only acknowledged her existence when it was necessary to the security of the country. 

Lily had quite a bit of baggage when it came to being enough for someone. 

“I think you know why,” 

“But all the numbers-”

“I know what the numbers say. But the public doesn’t interact with me on a personal level. And the numbers are much lower when people actually interact with me.” 

Emma shook her head. “Don’t let parliament give you a complex.” 

“It’s not parliament.” She muttered, kicking her toe against the railing. 

Emma shook her head again. “You’re amazing Lily, the Potter’s are going to love you as much as their son does.” 

Lily felt her cheeks flush and was about to argue against Emma’s claim, but she heard footsteps and turned to see James walking toward them. He was in slacks and a navy blue button down. 

“How did it take you longer to get ready?” Lily asked, uncrossing her arms, attempting to appear calm and collected. As though she hadn’t just acted like a vulnerable, angsty, teenager. Like Emma hadn’t just offhandedly said that he loved her. 

She knew how to make a good impression. Emma was right about that. 

James shook his head. “I started fixing my hair, but then I decided against it. Then I couldn’t find my glasses- It’s fine. I’m here now. 

“I thought you said that there was nothing to be nervous about.” 

He paused and looked at her, as though he was realizing how he was acting just then. “There isn’t.” He ran a hand through his hair. “My mum just likes to give me a hard time about my hair, so I was going to avoid that, but then decided not to since she’d give me a hard time about having fixed it as well.” He shrugged. “They’re going to love you and they’ll tease me. Everything will be fine.” 

He sounded sure and then he put his hand on her lower back and led her toward the stairs. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright.” 

“Well it’s about time, you two show up,” Lily’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of Sirius’ voice. “I mean, I know that you’ll be king and queen in a week or two, but honestly, our time is important too.”

“Sirius, that’s enough,” A tall and elegant looking woman stood up as she chided Sirius. She had long black hair that was meticulously braided down her back, thick rimmed glasses, and hazel eyes the same color as James’. She was quite obviously his mother. 

“What are you doing here?” James asked, narrowing his eyes as he looked at Sirius. 

“Wow, I’m happy to see you too,” 

“You just berated me for being late, you don’t get to be a-”

“Boys,” Both of James’ parents spoke at the same time and James and Sirius stopped immediately. 

“I was just surprised to see you. I did not know that you planned to come with mum and dad. Thought you were coming with the lads.” 

“Well I’m your brother, aren’t I? Why wouldn’t I come with family?” 

Lily took a deep breath, trying to be subtle about it, and then stepped forward. James quickly stepped up beside her. 

“Sorry,” He muttered. “Mum, dad, I’d like to introduce you to Princess Lily. Lily, these are my parents, Monty and Mia.” 

Lily smiled at them and held out her hand, first to his mother and then his father. “It’s so nice to finally meet you two in an informal capacity. James speaks very highly of the both of you and has promised me that the two of you will tease him quite a bit over the next week. I can’t wait.” 

Monty laughed, and it was James’ laugh. Deep and rumbly, all the way from the belly. Mia offered her a smile. “Well, perhaps if he combed his hair every now and then, we wouldn’t have as much to tease him about.” James gave her a pointed look, but she kept her smile aimed at his parents.

“I’m sure we’d find something,” Monty shrugged. “But I think that might take away a lot of your material.” Sirius was standing behind them with his arms crossed over his chest, looking as though he was waiting for her to say something to him. Like she was about to fail some kind of test. 

She turned to face him and gave him a tight smile. “Sirius, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re thrilled that I came early.” Then his eyes cut to James. “Same as you, mate.” 

“Why don’t you all sit down so we can pour the tea?” Anita spoke up from behind them and Lily spun to find her eyes on Sirius. She certainly wasn’t thrilled that Sirius had decided to come earlier. Though that was probably Lily’s fault. She might have complained about him a fair amount to her Gran, leaving out all the bits about how Sirius was completely right to be suspicious of her and to think that she wasn’t good enough for James. The last time he was here, she was hardly speaking to James unless she had to. 

But things were different now, and she wanted to get Sirius to like her, because she didn’t want his brother to be married to someone that he couldn’t stand.

She knew what that was like.

“Yes, yes,” Mia and Monty took their seats quickly, but Sirius loitered about so that he could make his way over to James’ empty side. “I know that we saw you a few days ago, but there were too many people in the house for us to sit down and have a nice conversation and I _know _that you must have so much to fill us in on.” 

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “Why don’t we start with those pictures of your fiancé and Bertram?” Mia cut Sirius a look, her lips pressed together, and her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Lily almost smiled to see the same look on James’ face. “Just to clear the air!” Sirius held up his hands. “I know that we’re all curious.” 

“Well, there’s really only one picture,” James said. “And there’s not much to say about it.” 

“We clearly have a mole in the castle,” Anita interjected. “And we’re doing our best to find out who it is, but they're doing slightly better at covering their tracks and contorting innocuous situations. Our head of security will have everything taken care of shortly.”

Mia nodded and then looked back at her son. “Only one picture?” 

Lily saw James’ ears turn a bit red, as he nodded. And she probably wouldn’t have thought much of that question had it not been for his reaction. She did her best to keep herself from blushing as she sat up straighter. 

His mother was asking him, slyly sure, but she was still asking him if Lily had been caught sneaking out of James’ room in the second pictures.

She felt the need to correct the implications that went along with that, but James _was _her fiancé. What did it matter if people thought that they were sleeping together? Sure, it was a little extra weird because this was James’ mother, but the entire country thought that the two of them were in love, completely besotted with one another, they all probably assumed that they were intimate. People probably thought about those things, even though it made Lily squirmy and sweaty. 

Monty cleared his throat. “Have you two made any plans for where you’ll go for your honeymoon?” He asked, and Lily bit the tip of her tongue, because they had talked about their honeymoon only once, and very briefly. And not really in the context of it being a honeymoon, only a break from reality. 

James shrugged a shoulder as he reached for his tea. “We’ve talked about going up to the mountains, our cottage.” He looked over at her. “I think we could both use a bit of a break from all of the cameras and crowds after the wedding.” Lily nodded. 

Mia nodded, “The mountains are beautiful this time of year. And I can understand not wanting to do something too extravagant. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you to do things privately.”

Lily smiled at her and nodded, “People are a bit more excited as of late. I’m sure sometime down the road we could plan a bigger trip if we wanted to.” 

“That’s smart,” Anita smiled, taking a sip of her tea. 

“Holy mother,” Mary’s voice sounded from the doorway and everyone turned to look at her. She looked as though Emma had dressed her, and combed her hair for that matter. “Fu-” She cleared her throat. “Sorry I’m so late. I spilled something on my blouse and had to change.” She glared behind her, where Lily was sure Emma was hovering. “Twice, if you can believe it.” She turned back to her audience and smiled widely, “I’m Mary MacDonald, Lily’s best friend slash sister. Though if anything happened to her, Gran would _not _let me near the throne.” 

“At least you understand that,” Anita shook her head and waved her into the room. “Come sit, pet.” She motioned to the empty seat on her left, Monty’s right. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mary.” Mia smiled at her. 

“Yes,” Mary nodded. “Thank you, I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you and Mr. Potter- Lord Potter? What do you want me to call you two?” 

Sirius snorted and Mary’s gaze snapped to him. She had somehow not noticed that he was here. She frowned. “What are you doing here? I thought I didn’t have to see you until next Wednesday.” 

“I couldn’t stay away, love,” Sirius winked. 

She turned toward Anita. “Emma said that I couldn’t bring, Reggie.” 

“You can have your fun later, Mary. Don’t be rude.” 

She did an excited jump spin back toward James’ parents. “Sorry about that, Sirius is- well you know him, so I probably don’t have to tell you. What should I call you?” 

Mia and Monty exchanged a look and then Mia smiled, “No need for formality. Monty and Mia are fine. That goes for you too, Lily.” Lily nodded. 

“Monty and Mia? I love the alliteration! So cute.” Mary tucked her hair behind her ear and grabbed her teacup, dumped about a cup of sugar into it, and then took a big drink. 

“Mary supposedly has a boyfriend named, Reginald.” Sirius interject, “I’ve tried to tell her to dump the blighter but-”

“Sirius,” Mia repeated. And like the first time, he stopped talking immediately. Lily wondered if she could learn how to do that. 

“Reginald Fitzwilliam Cattermole.” Lily whispered, leaning closer to James. He laughed, covering his mouth with his hand. 

“MacMole.” He whispered back. 

“Something to share?” Sirius asked. 

“I’m just looking forward to you meeting the blighter later on today,” Lily smiled at Sirius. 

Sirius smiled back at her, but it was not a real smile. She certainly had her work cut out for her with him. 

“Anyway,” James cleared his throat. “How was the rest of your birthday, mum?” 

The conversation went on in a more normal tone after that, Mary and Sirius played nice, even when Sirius would make a snide remark about or directed at Lily. Mary threw in a few of her own directed at Sirius, but everyone else at the table pretended that they didn’t notice. 

Eventually the conversation looped back around to the wedding. 

“When will your parents be arriving?” Monty asked, to which Mia elbowed him. He looked confused. Lily smiled at them.

“My mum will be here at the end of the week,” Lily said. “She’s bringing my stepdad with her.” She decided against mentioning Petunia. 

“Who’s going to walk you down the aisle?” Mia asked, her long fingers folded around her teacup, again, just like James. She wondered if he knew how many of his mother’s mannerisms he had. 

Lily shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. “I suppose I hadn’t thought much about that.” They were in the dining hall, and a portrait of her father was hung near the fireplace. She looked toward it for a brief moment and then back at her soon to be in-laws. “I suppose I’ll walk myself down the aisle.” She’d never had any dreams about her father walking her down the aisle. 

“I was hoping you’d ask me, but sure, be independent.” Mary clicked her tongue and Lily hummed the first few bars of _Miss Independent. _

“Can I ask about the dress?” Mia leaned forward, and she looked so excited, but Lily had absolutely no idea what her dress looked like. Luckily, Anita jumped in. 

“Her final fitting is on Thursday. You may come with us if you’d like.” 

She lit up, but then shook her head. “I don’t want to intrude. I’m sure that we’ll become friends, but I don’t want to-”

“I’d like you to come if you’d like to be there,” Lily interrupted. 

“Yes?” 

Lily nodded and Mia lit up again. “I’d love to come! I’ve gotten stuck with three men and they don’t offer me the opportunity to fawn over lovely gowns all that often. And wedding gowns are just divine!”

“Didn’t know you were so disappointed that we weren’t girls, mum.” James laughed.

“Fine boys I got stuck with, but I wouldn’t have minded a girl as well.” She smiled at Lily. “But that’s what weddings are for, yes? Expanding families and all that? I’ll have a daughter come the end of the week.” Lily felt like her smile was more wobbly than she wanted it to be. 

“Yeah, speaking of, we didn’t realize that Dory was James’ cousin, so we’re rather excited about that addition,” Mary interjected, finally attune to Lily’s about-to-cry tells. 

“Yes, she’s my sister’s daughter,” Monty smiled. “She’s grown into quite a fine young woman, though I don’t know how she manages all those children and appears so graceful all at once.” 

“She inherited your mother’s patience, that’s how.” Mia grinned. 

“And her command,” Anita added. “Everyone always started behaving whenever you mum walked round the corner.” Monty laughed, and nodded.

“That’s true. Mum had a firm hand. That trait must have skipped a generation,” Then he looked at James. “Or two.” James shrugged.

“It doesn’t hurt that all of those children are in love with her,” Lily smiled, thinking about little Elodie and Elena. 

“They are, Dorcas is a special young woman.” Monty smiled. “And we’re very lucky to be adding another to the family.” Lily smiled at him. 

“Two,” Mary cleared her throat, leaning slightly closer to him. “I mean, I’m sitting right here and I’m rather hard to ignore.” 

He laughed, “Yes, of course, my dear. I didn’t mean to forget to include you.” 

“She doesn’t handle not being included well.” James shook his head at Mary. “Quite like someone else we know.” 

“Sounds like you’re just listing reasons why, MacDonald and I are perfect for each other.” Sirius shrugged. 

“Sirius, darling, I don’t think you’re going to make friends with Reginald later.” Mia frowned. 

“That’s the plan.” He smirked. 

“Prat,” Mary muttered. 

About an hour later, Lily was sitting on her couch while James walked around the room, looking at all the pictures of her and Mary on the walls. “Why were you so nervous?” She asked him, knowing very well that he might end up flipping the question around on her. 

He glanced at her over his shoulder and then turned back to the picture where her and Mary are on their bikes. About ten years old, both in pigtails, brightly colored crewnecks and chunky sneakers, they look as though they should be on the cover of a Kidz Bop album. 

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do,” Lily argued, crossing her arms over the back of the couch and watching him. “You didn’t touch me once the entire time we were having brunch.”

“Maybe we should talk about why you noticed that instead of why you think I was nervous.” 

“You’ve never not held my hand when you’re next to me. Except for the few times that you were upset with me. It was very noticeable.” 

James tilted his head back and forth. “Alright.” 

“Alright.” 

“I didn’t know that Sirius was going to be there.” He turned back to her with his arms crossed over his chest. “I suppose that kind of threw me for a loop. I mean, I knew that he’d probably talked to mum and dad about everything, but- I don’t know.” 

“Your mum asked you if we’d slept together.” 

James ran his hands over his face, pushing his glasses up. “You caught that, did you?” 

“You said that we had.” 

“No,” James uncovered his face and walked toward her. “I just confirmed that it was my room that you’d been sneaking out of.” 

“Which led her to believe-”

“Yes, I know. But I wasn’t going to spell out the situation for her in front of everyone.” 

“Which is fair, and I appreciate that. A lot. But is that part of why you were nervous? Because beforehand-”

“I know that I told you not to be nervous.” James interrupted. “And then you weren’t and I was. We flip-flopped.” 

“I was a little nervous. But I always get all worked up beforehand and then things usually work out and I feel-”

“In control?” He guessed. 

“You have got to stop interrupting me, dear.” She teased, “But yes, I do like to feel in control. I didn’t know what to expect before, but when I got in the room, and I found my footing. Even with Sirius there and glaring at me every few minutes, I was fine.” 

“Aside from the fact that I wasn’t holding your hand.” 

“That kind of broke my heart,” Lily nodded solemnly and then smirked at him. 

James shook his head. “Don’t say that. Not even as a joke.” He let out a quiet chuckle and then walked around to join her on the couch. He pulled one leg up on the couch and reached out to take both of her hands in his. “We’ve had quite a… unique go of things. I didn’t want my parents to get a false idea of what we are to one another or-” He huffed. Lily squeezed his hands. 

“This is so weird.” She grinned. “We’ve switched places.” 

James almost rolled his eyes, but then shut them instead and leaned his head against the back of the couch. “You had a moment in there. Mary jumped in. I noticed.” 

Lily bit her tongue. “I wasn’t nervous. Your mum was just being nice to me.” 

James frowned and sat up. “She’s very nice.”

“Yes, she is.” Lily agreed, not sure if she wanted to give further explanation. “She was very welcoming. I appreciated it.” 

James squeezed her hand. “Alright.” He could tell she wasn’t telling him something, but he wasn’t going to push. “Are you alright with her going to the dress fitting? I can talk to her if you want me to.” 

“I wouldn’t have said she could come if I wasn’t alright with it.” Lily promised. “I mean, I didn’t know that I had a dress fitting on Thursday, but it’s fine. I know absolutely nothing about our wedding.” 

James nodded. “Me either. No, that’s not true, I know where it is. I have an idea of what time it’ll be. I know what role I’m going to play, I have an idea of what you’ll be wearing-”

“Shut up, James. That hardly counts.” 

“It doesn’t count for nothing though.” 

“It might.” Lily countered. “Are you feeling better now? Calmer?” 

“Yeah,” He let go of her hand in favor of messing with his hair, which seemed to contradict his answer. “I mean, mum seemed to really like you. Which I knew she would, but I was just worried I guess. About what Sirius would tell them.”

“I’m going to win him over.” Lily promised. “I’m not sure how. I might have to use Mary to do it, but I will. I promise.” 

“He’s not being fair, it’s not all on you.” James pushed his glasses up his nose and shifted on the couch. 

“Okay, but I don’t want to be the cause of you and Sirius not getting along. Or him stressing you out. I hate my brother-in-law and now I don’t get to see my sister or my nephew all that often. I’m not going to do that to Sirius.” She squeezed his hand. “Or you.” 

He smiled at her, a gentle, warm smile that made her feel as though she’d just said all the right things. She meant them too, they weren’t just words. She was going to fix things with Sirius, even if he made it difficult. 

“I appreciate that,” James was still smiling. “But it’s on him too. And he can be difficult.”

“So can I, you know that” She scoffed. “Give me two days, and I’ll have fixed everything.” 

James’ brow shot up. “That’s very ambitious.” 

“Is it? I think if I said, ‘give me till the end of the day,’ _that _would have been too ambitious.” He laughed at her, and she leaned against his should and took his hand again. “It’ll all work out, James.” She promised.


	30. Chapter 30

Lily was keen to keep her word and fix things with Sirius as soon as possible. Afterall, she thought it should be fairly simple since he was still operating under the assumption that Lily was behaving as she had been the last time he was here. And that just wasn’t true anymore, so she should be able to just let him see that, talk to him a bit, and then they would be good as new.

However, he didn’t seem to want to pay any attention to her at all, and that was making things a bit more difficult than she’d planned for. 

Mary was having the opposite problem. 

Sirius would not leave her be. 

James and Lily found Sirius and Mary in the game room a couple of hours after brunch. Sirius was playing billiards and Mary was on the couch, her feet hanging over one of the arms and her hair covering one of the cushions. 

“Where’s Reggie?” Lily asked, looking around the room. Mary propped herself up on an elbow, but Sirius started talking before Mary could. 

“That’s what I keep asking.” He had a brow raised, and even though he was answering Lily’s question, he was looking directly at Mary. 

“Oh good, I was worried that we’d missed them meeting.” Lily grinned. 

“You just walked in here about five minutes ago,” Mary narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. “Reggie was here a minute before you entered, but he got a phone call.” 

“Oh? Is he a very important man? Has to always answer his phone?” Sirius teased. 

“He does when it’s his mum calling,” Reggie walked into the room, pocketing his phone, and looking Sirius up and down. 

James nudged Lily with his elbow, and she smirked and patted her hand against his arm. They had made a bet involving chocolate before they came down here, based on how this meeting would go. They both walked over to the couch and sat down next to Mary, who was sitting up now, also looking like she knew she was about to be very entertained. All they were missing was the popcorn. 

The two young men looked at one another in silence for a moment, fully aware of all the eyes on them. 

“I mean,” Reggie’s mouth tugged up at the corner. “I handed you the mummy’s boy joke. You’re not going to take it?” 

Sirius just kept looking at him with his head tilted, his brow still raised from talking to Mary. “_Your _name is Reginald Cattermole?” 

“What?” Reggie was fully smiling now. “I don’t look like a Reginald Fitzwilliam Cattermole to you?” 

“No! You’re almost as pretty as I am!” Mary started cackling, James and Lily weren’t far behind. Reggie winked at the lot of them and fluffed up his hair.

“Almost,” Reggie agreed, “But not quite.” He stepped further into the room and reached out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Sirius. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Yeah, sure, it’s nice to meet you too.” He took his hand and shook it, still eyeing him wearily. “You know, I’m not going to stop hitting on Mary just because I’ve met you now.” 

“Oh, I know.” Reggie waved his comment away and walked over to the wall to grab a pool stick. “Besides, I’m going back to school tonight-”

“Tomorrow!” Mary interjected.

“- and someone’s got to hit on her until I can get back next weekend.” Sirius looked a bit like someone had just hit him over the head with something rather heavy. “I normally count on Lily to do that for me, but she’s been a bit… preoccupied lately.” 

“You owe me chocolate.” Lily grinned, ignoring her friend's insinuation.

“I know.” James sighed. 

“And you have to say it.” 

“You were right.” 

“What was that?” 

“You heard me,” 

“Yes, but the entire room didn’t hear you.” 

“You were right, Lily Jane.” James said, louder this time. Mary leaned around Lily so she could look at James. 

“Why would you bet against Lily on how Reggie was going to react? That was dumb.” 

James shook his head. “I wasn’t betting on how Reggie would react, I didn’t doubt that he’d be calm and good natured about the whole thing, I just know Sirius and I know he doesn’t get along with about ninety percent of the people he meets.” He turned to glare at his mate, who was still looking rather flabbergasted. “I told you that he was fit. Now you’re making it seem like I don’t know you all that well.” 

“He just gave me permission to hit on his girlfriend!” Sirius shook his head. “I don’t know what to do next,” His voice was quieter. 

James shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting that either, or I would have warned you of that too.” 

Lily laughed and shook her head. “I think you owe me more than chocolate now, I didn’t know you’d been coaching him when we made the bet.” James shook his head and refused to look at her. 

“I wasn’t coaching him. I just… gave him a heads up, and it was before the bet.”

“You had information that I didn’t have. It’s not fair play, Jim.” 

That got him to look at her, and she smirked. 

“Neither is that.” He said quietly and she leaned against his shoulder still smiling. 

“Preoccupied, you say?” Sirius shook himself out of his stupor and watched as Reggie reset the table. “That what you mean?” 

“Yeah. Exactly what I mean.” 

“It’s horrible,” Mary agreed. “I feel completely neglected.” 

Lily rolled her eyes and turned toward her friend. “You are the neediest person alive. You realize this?” 

“Remember when you used to say nice things to me?” 

“No.” Lily snapped. “When have I ever?” 

“Rude! That’s what you are.” Lily smiled and reached for Mary’s hand, which the smaller girl promptly took away and held up in the air as though it would be out of Lily’s reach there. 

“I’m going to be very sad when you don’t live with me anymore.” Lily said. 

“Good. I’m going to go back to school and forget about you completely.” She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. “Or perhaps I will also be very sad. Time will tell.” Lily smiled again and leaned over to kiss Mary’s cheek. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Mary sighed dramatically and then leaned against Lily, who quickly wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. 

“You know what I just remembered?” Lily stiffened and hid her face in Mary’s puffy hair.

“That you have to go to work tomorrow?” Mary guessed. 

“I have to go to _parliament_ tomorrow.” Lily said more quietly. 

Marry patted her cheek. “Do you know what you’re going to say to them?” 

“Can I tell them to fuck off? To mind their own business and go to hell?”

Sirius snorted. “I’d pay good money to see that.” Lily gave James a significant look and he shook his head. She took that to mean that he didn’t think tanking her career was worth the brownie points it would get her with Sirius. 

“I’m going to have to say the stupid shit that Emma fed me. ‘It was simply a misunderstanding,’ or ‘I am allowed to walk around my own home at any hour of the night why aren’t we focusing more on the person spying on me?’”

“That last one really sounds like something Emma would tell you to say.” Reggie leaned against his pool stick and stuck her with a lopsided grin. 

“She’s good at her job,” Lily sighed, “Even if her being good at her job doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy, I am appreciative of that.” 

“I’m not.” Mary said. “She was really mean to you Friday morning.” 

“She was.” Reggie agreed, and then leaned over the table to take a shot. Sirius was eyeing everyone in the room with cool calculation. 

“Your own staff thought you’d slept with Bertram?” He asked, narrowing his brow. 

“No!” Lily shook her head quickly. She was quite certain that Emma had _not _thought that. “No, of course she didn’t. She just thought that I had been with him after we all agreed that I wouldn’t talk to him until after we found out who the mole is.”

“Why do you want to talk to him at all?” Sirius asked, now turning toward the table to take a shot himself. Lily couldn’t work out his tone. He sounded simply curious, but she didn’t trust that. 

“Because he’s trying to steal my throne.” She said quite bluntly. Mary twirled one of her curls around her finger as she looked back and forth between the two of them. 

“Oh? I mean, that sounds like him, but are you sure?” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “It’s what he told James, so yes, I’m sure.” 

“The last time I was here-”

“I was making fun of the fact that he was reading Lolita and Catcher and the Rye. I was having Mary run interference. You and I had one conversation two days before you left.”

“When did you two talk?” James asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. 

Sirius shrugged and looked intently at the pool table. It was Reggie’s turn now, but he wasn’t going. Sirius shot him a look, understanding why. 

“We talked on Friday. After you two got back from the schools and you were all pissed.”

“Yes,” Lily nodded. “He thought that I was threatening to keep you here with legal ramifications.” 

“I just didn’t want to believe that you were being a complete idiot is all.” 

James huffed, shaking his head slightly. 

“He didn’t say anything that I didn’t need to hear.” Lily shrugged. “I mean, besides him thinking that I was caging you here with lawyers.” 

“You could cage me here with anything you’d like,” Mary poked her in the side. 

“Your tone says that was meant to be sexual, but I don’t really get it.” Lily pushed her hand away. “Also, I might.” 

Mary winked at her. 

“Where am I in this scenario?” Reggie asked. 

“Back at school,” Lily and Mary answered together. 

“You two are bullies.” He pointed at them with his pool stick and then went to take his turn. “Also we’re all terrible at speaking seriously about anything.” 

“Were we trying to have a _serious_ conversation?” Mary asked, tilting her head to the side. “It didn’t feel like it was serious.” 

“I’m sure it was supposed to be a little serious.” Reggie shrugged. “I mean, Sirius and Lily are trying to work out if they can get along or not. It seems _serious_.” 

“Stop it.” Sirius narrowed his brow at the both of them. 

“Stop what?” Mary asked. 

He shook his head and looked at Lily. “I know you don’t mind embarrassing James, and I know that you’re hard to embarrass, so I don’t mind saying any of this in front of everyone here,” Mary leaned forward like she was about to lap up whatever he was going to spill. “James has been texting me almost constantly since I left-”

“Obviously. You two are in love,” Lily nodded, ignoring James. 

“Yes,” Sirius nodded, almost cracking a smile. “And I know that things between you and him, are not where they were the last time I was here. He also sent me that stupid picture of you two on his couch before anyone was talking about you sneaking out of Bertram’s room.” 

James’ ears were red, which was Sirius’ intention of course. 

Lily narrowed her eyes. “So why were you being a dick to me in front of his parents?” 

He did smile at her now, a smile that you’d expect to find on a toddler who was explaining to you why he stuffed your shoes into the toilet. “Because I can’t let you think I’m going to go easy on you now.” She bit the tip of her tongue. 

“Well then,” She sat up straighter, feeling lighter. “I suppose we’ve cleared things up.” 

“I suppose we have.” 

“Have we?” James asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. “It doesn’t feel as though things are cleared up.” 

“Things are cleared up.” Lily repeated. “Sirius likes me just fine-”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” 

“I would.” Lily countered. “Turns out I could have been overly ambitious earlier.” 

“What?” Mary asked. 

“I told James that I’d fix things with Sirius over the next couple of days, he said that seemed ambitious, I said it would be ambitious to say that I’d fix it today, but here we are.” 

“Amazing,” Mary poked her. 

“I surprise myself sometimes,” Lily flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

Sirius shook his head at her and then went back to his game. 

“It’s gonna be a long week,” He said, lining up his next shot. “I’m not here to make things harder for either of you.” Lily smiled over at James.

“Who are you texting?” Reggie asked, looking at Mary now. 

“Jealous?” 

Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at her friend. “No,” She answered for Reggie. “It’s a fair question. Reggie and I are both in the room and you don’t talk to anyone else.” 

“It could be my mum!” Mary said, as though this proved that she did have more friends. 

“Your mum hates texting. So does your dad, though he did text me yesterday to wish me a happy birthday party.” Lily grinned. 

“Yes, so who is it?” 

“My secret boyfriend.” Mary shrugged and tried to worm away from Lily. 

“It’s not a secret and I’m not getting any texts from you.” Sirius said, pulling out his phone. Mary scoffed. 

“Marlene?” Lily guessed. “Tell her to come over soon!” 

“How did you know it was Marlene?” Mary pouted. 

Lily shrugged. “I honestly don’t know who else it could be.” 

“Alright, so I’m very selective with who I spend my time on, but I adopted her last night and so I’m texting her. There’s no need to get concerned, I can have more than one friend!” 

“I don’t count as a friend,” Reggie stage whispered. Mary flipped him off. 

“You’re acting very strange, Mary.” Lily shook her head. “But still, she should come over soon.”

“You’re acting weird.” Mary retorted. 

“Alright, well on that note, I have to go and prep for tomorrow's parliament meeting.”

“What would the old prats do if you just handed them their own arses one of these days?” Reggie asked. 

Lily sighed, “I’m not sure. A few of them might keel over.” 

“Not to be that person, but I don’t know if that would be a truly horrible thing.” Mary was looking at her phone. “Maybe Marlene could get a seat.” 

Lily laughed, “Wouldn’t that be something. Rosier would hate it. I love it. Tell her to do it.” 

Mary looked up from her phone. “How are there no women in parliament. Like none at all. Ever. How is that possible?” 

Lily shook her head and stood up, using James’ and Mary’s knees. “I don’t know, but it won’t be that way forever. Goodnight everyone!” She waved, even as she felt James grab her other hand and stand up. 

“I’ll be back in a bit,” James said. Lily gave him a look, but she wasn’t upset that he was going to walk her to her room. 

In the hallway, Lily looked at him, her head tilted to the side. “Thanks for walking me home,” 

James smirked. “We’re gonna take a little detour, if that’s alright.” 

“A detour?” Lily looked back in front of her. 

“Yeah.” James nodded. Lily waited a moment. 

“I would like a few more details.” 

He looked at her. “Nah, I did mention that I was going to try and surprise you again. If I give you more details, I’ll fail to surprise you again. Like with the chocolates.” 

“Are you taking me to chocolate?” 

James shook his head and let out a huff of laughter. “No, and it’s not really a surprise. We’re just going for a little walk.” 

Lily pressed her lips together. “Alright. Fine. Keep your secrets.” 

“I will.” And so she let him take the lead. “What did Sirius say to you last Friday?” He asked, after they had been walking in silence for a few minutes. 

Lily shook her head. “He didn’t say anything bad. Or anything that he shouldn’t have said.” 

James frowned. “That’s not an answer.” 

“He got upset with me because I kept agreeing with everything he said, actually.” 

“Again, you’re not giving me information.” They took a left. 

“He told me to stop feeling sorry for myself.” 

James looked over at her. “He’s a bit insensitive at times.” 

“Yeah, well I wasn’t being super sensitive at the time either,” 

James took a deep breath through his nose. “You are so hard on yourself,” 

“What?” 

“You are always giving other people second or third chances, you are so willing to explain away their mistakes, but when it comes to yourself… you deserve that same kindness, Lily.” His thumb was brushing along the back of her hand and she was, for the second time today, trying to swallow a lump in her throat. 

It was such a simple thing for him to say. She needed to be nice to herself. She’s said it to herself before, Mary had said it many times, but hearing him say it like that, it was like hearing his mum tell her that she would love to be included in the wedding, that she’d always wanted a daughter when Lily hadn’t felt much like anyone’s daughter these last five years or so. 

She squeezed his hand with both of hers, “I know.” Her voice was quieter, to keep the tremble out of it. “But I could have been a bit more empathetic.” 

James shook his head again. “And I could have been more understanding. I could have let you have some space in which you could work through this-”

“Now wait a minute-”

“No,” He shook his head and smiled at her. “You’re about to do it again. You’re going to explain away my mistakes in favor of pointing out your own. We’re both human Lily, we’re allowed to make mistakes. Especially with one another. The whole world is watching us, and I understand that we have to put on a face for them, that we have to be more careful about the mistakes we make in public, but we’ve _got _to be allowed to be human with one another.” 

There was that lump again.

“I feel like you’re trying to make me cry by being too nice,” She said, her voice quiet again. 

He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side. “Never,” He kissed the top of her head. 

They rounded another corner and Lily realized where he was taking her. She looked at the end of the hall and then over at him. He was smirking. 

“The greenhouse?” She asked with raised brows. 

“Yeah,” He nodded. “I know that we got to dance together last night, but it wasn’t really the way I wanted to dance with you.” 

Lily’s heart jumped in her throat as he held the door open for her. Like the last time they’d been in a greenhouse together, it was quiet and a little chilly and it smelled of earth and green things. “The way you wanted to dance with me? If I keep looking around in here, will I find champagne?” 

James laughed and closed the door behind him as he followed her in. “No, this wasn’t really planned. I just saw an opportunity and seized it.” 

Lily nodded and bit the tip of her tongue as he walked over to her. He gave her a small bow and then held out his hand. She didn’t take it though. She looked around the room and then back at him. She could hear her heart beating in her ears and she smiled at the confused look on his face. 

“I think I’m gonna need to seize this opportunity as well.” She said, her voice was quiet for a different reason now. James cocked his head to the side and Lily slowly reached up and brushed the hair back from his forehead. The corner of his mouth tugged up, and he was about to make a joke, she could tell because she saw the light flash in his eyes. 

She stepped closer to him, her hand still resting on the side of his face, and she watched the light in his eyes change. His hazel eyes once again turned molten gold. She brushed her thumb over his cheek and his hands slowly slid over her hips, pulling her closer still. 

“And ah, what opportunity is it that you’re looking to seize?” He asked, and his gravelly voice sent a shiver down her spine. He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers. 

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” She asked quietly, bringing her other hand up and raking her fingers through his hair. His eyes closed and she heard him swallow. 

“Because I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now,” He said. “Figured it was best to wait until you decided you were ready.” 

She nodded, very slightly. “Nice of you.”

“I thought so.” His fingertips dug into her hips. “Are you going to kiss me now, or are we just gonna keep flirting really close-”

She stepped up onto her tiptoes and then her lips were pressed against his. 

She gasped against his mouth as his arms wound around her waist, pulling her flush up against his body. Her hands gripped at his hair, pulling him closer still. It was softer than she remembered, threading through her fingers like silk. 

It was not a delicate first kiss, it was not soft, or hesitant, or careful. 

It was all consuming, breathtaking, _magnificent_. 

She could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, pressed up against her own. His hand came up from her waist to cup her cheek and she grabbed his wrist, keeping his hand where it was. Her entire body felt warm and tingly and she didn’t know why she had waited so long to kiss him. 

Confusion and mounting pressure be dammed, this was worth whatever consequences she’d been afraid of before. 

She should have kissed him last Thursday when she’d first noticed the heat in his eyes, she should have kissed him on Friday after she’d had that very telling dream about him, she should have kissed him about a million different times on Friday night, before or after she told him that she fancied him. She should have kissed him at any point on Saturday. 

But she was glad that it was here, in a greenhouse, where everything had really started for the two of them. Where James had decided that he wanted to try despite the obstacles and where Lily had noticed that there was definitely something they could build on. 

He had promised her big words and romance, and the boy was delivering. 

The greenhouse. She couldn’t believe it.

Lily’s heart was full, and the giddy feeling that had been chasing her around all day after the party last night came back to her in this moment and she smiled against his lips. 

She felt the corners of his mouth turn up as well, but it was still another moment before she pulled back, her hands dropped down to his shoulders, and then slid down his chest. She laughed, opening her eyes to find his in the dim light. 

The look he was giving her made her laugh again, too full of emotion to find any words at the moment and unable to contain the joy she was feeling. And then he was laughing, even as he leaned closer to kiss her again. Lightly this time, quickly pressing his lips to hers, and then to her cheeks and her jaw and she laughed as she wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his chest. 

“What’s so funny?” He asked, his hand now running through her hair as his other arm slid back around her waist. 

“Nothing is funny,” She couldn’t stop smiling as she peeked up at him. “I just,” She shook her head and laughed again. “You make me feel really good, James. I’m happy. I’m really happy.” 

He seemed to like that answer. 

He liked it a lot, and before she could say anything else, his lips were back on hers. Soon he had her backed up against one of the work benches and she managed to stop smiling in favor of using her mouth for other things. 

~

She wasn’t sure exactly how long she was in the greenhouse with James, but when she finally got back to her room, she felt a little drunk, and a lot like she was floating. 

Mary was sitting on her bed when she got back. A knowing look on her face. She pointed at Lily and Lily started laughing again. 

“How was your parliament prepping?” Mary asked. 

Lily kicked off her shoes and walked toward the closet to find some pajamas. “Fan-fucking-tastic.” 

And then Mary was cackling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. Didn't even warn you. You're welcome. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	31. Chapter 31

Lily had to wake up early the next morning in order to find time to actually prep for parliament. She wasn’t upset about it in the slightest, even though her eyes stung, and she had to take her notes with her to breakfast and she ended up spilling syrup on one of her papers. 

James teased her about it, Mary gave her a look that had Lily smiling too much, and Sirius was giving her quite a look as well. Anita, Mia and Monty all seemed none the wiser, but James’ hand was on her leg for the duration of breakfast. And that meant that she wasn’t as focused on her notes as she would have liked. 

She probably should have taken breakfast in her office. 

But again, she wasn’t upset about it. 

But then she was walking onto the floor of parliament, holding her sticky notes with her brain jumbled from the ‘see you later’ kiss James had given her before she’d walked down to parliament, and she thought again, that she probably should have taken breakfast in her office. 

She walked over to her seat and started organizing her papers. 

A page named Bart (or maybe Berry, Lily wasn’t fantastic with names) walked up and handed her the docket for the day, she thanked him and pulled out a highlighter. It didn’t look like there were any surprises, which made her relax a bit. She had the research and knowledge to talk about these topics. 

But then her nerves were back as she saw Rosier and Malfoy walk in whispering and giving her pointed looks. 

They weren’t going to want to talk about what was on the agenda. They were going to want to talk about what happened Saturday morning. 

Dammit. 

Even Flitwick and Bones were giving her looks that she didn’t like. 

She felt smaller and smaller as the room filled with the older men that made up parliament. She made herself sit upright, look tall and proud, even if her insides were shaking. 

It hadn’t been her fault, she hadn’t done anything wrong. She kept repeating that to herself as their glares got more pointed and their whispers got louder. 

She didn’t owe them an explanation, but it was clear that they weren’t going to get much done until she gave them one. 

When everyone had shuffled into their seats and their mutterings and whispers were getting too loud for Lily to ignore, she stood up and walked over to the small podium.

The whispers stopped immediately when she set her hands on the old wood, pressing her fingertips against it firmly in an attempt to ground herself. 

“Good morning, gentlemen,” She said, forcing herself to look out around the room, to meet these men’s gazes. They were not going to get to her. “We have a few things to discuss this morning while we’re convened, but I am not going to pretend that I did not hear the comments many of you were making-”

“Well you can hardly blame us-”

“Excuse me,” Lily interrupted, Lord Rosier. “You will not interrupt me, Lord Rosier. Or have we strayed so far from social etiquette within these chambers?” She took a deep breath. “The weekend was quite eventful. As all of you are aware, there is an individual amongst the castle staff who has taken to selling pictures of me to tabloids. Moody is doing his best to find this individual and remove them from the castle.” She looked over the room. “I’m sure that you’re all as concerned as I am about this breach of trust and security.” 

They all still appeared to be waiting for an explanation. She huffed, making sure that it didn’t land on the microphone. “Obviously I was not sneaking out of Bertram’s room, he has also made a statement, which I’m sure you’ve all made yourselves familiar with.” 

One of the lords raised their hands, Lord Amos Diggory. 

“Yes?” 

“If I may be so bold, who’s room were you sneaking out of if not Lord Aubrey’s?” 

Lily waited a beat, letting the extent of her disappointment at the question be felt by everyone in the room. “First, I was not sneaking anywhere. I was walking about my own home. The only reason any of you believe that I was caught ‘sneaking’ is because there is someone breaking the law right now, taking pictures of me inside of my own home.”

“Right, of course,” Amos nodded. “I didn’t mean to suggest that you had done anything wrong-”

“Yes, you did.” Lily pressed her hands against the podium. “You all came in here ready to hand out scarlet ‘a’s.”

“Well the entire country believes that you have been sleeping with-”

“Rosier,” Lily sharpened her tone only slightly. If she did much more she would lose the room. She had to remain calm and firm, or she’d be labeled shrill and hysterical. It was a fine, _fine _line to walk. No female political leader had ever stayed on the right side. They had all been demonized at one point or another. Most were still demonized. “If you can not behave respectfully and follow the rules of the chamber, I will remove you from the chambers for the rest of the day. Do you understand?” 

He raised his brows as though he thought she was overreacting. “Of course, princess.” Even her title was used to make her appear less authoritative. 

“I was with, James.” She said, not letting her face turn red. “The fiancé I have because you all refuse to let me take the crown without a husband.” She bit her tongue to stop anything else from coming out. The ‘_remember him?’ _She tapped her fingers against the wood and took another breath. “Do you think we might be able to get some work done now? We have much to talk about regarding Alice Fortesque and Frank Longbottom’s project regarding the children’s fund and education initiative.” 

There was agreement in the form of muttering and Lily nodded, looking down at the agenda and officially starting the meeting. 

She went to her office after the session got out. It had been six hours straight, which wasn’t entirely uncommon, as they were trying to get a lot done, but the general feel in the room was different than it normally was.

She was used to feeling as though the men resented her for her position, she was used to their derision because of her age, gender and where she’d grown up. She was used to them trying to talk over her, to ignore her good ideas in favor of backing one another, or because they didn’t want to make big change to a system that worked very well for them. 

But today had been something else. She had curbed their gossip, she had fed their appetite, but they were still suspicious of her. They were sure that she had done something wrong, something that they could pin on her, just because the papers had run that illegally obtained picture of her. They spent the entire six hours waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to accidentally confess something. 

She collapsed in her chair and covered her face with her hands. She wanted to cry, but she had too much work to do. 

Emma walked in, looking at her phone. “That was a long meeting,” She said, taking a seat in front of Lily’s desk. “I have a few things to ask you about the wedding.” 

Lily sat up and noticed that there were bright pink flowers sitting on the table near her door. “Did you put those there?” She asked, pointing over Emma’s shoulder. 

Emma turned to look and then shook her head. “No, but I do want to talk to you about flowers.” She turned her phone around to show Lily two different bouquets. “Which one do you like more?” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “Haven’t you already planned the entire wedding? Why do you want my input?” 

“It’s your wedding, Lily.” Emma sighed. “Which one?” 

“Did my gran put you up to this?” 

“No, I want you to feel as though you had a hand in the planning.” 

“But I didn’t.” 

“Stop being difficult.” 

“If you didn’t bring me those flowers, then who did?” Lily stood up and stepped around her desk. There was a small note sticking out of the arrangement and she plucked it out. 

_Thinking of you xx_

Lily bit her lip. “Was it, James?” She asked, looking at Emma again. 

“How would I know. There’s no signature?” 

“No.” Lily shook her head and pulled out her phone. 

“Lily, I just need you to pick a bouquet.” 

Lily sighed and looked at Emma’s phone again. “I like the greener one. With the peach colors in it.” 

“Good.” Emma nodded. 

“That was the right answer?” Lily grinned. 

“Yep.” She swiped over to a new picture. “You’ll be trying on two dresses on Thursday. They’ve both been tailored to perfection, so you should get to pick whichever one you like, but which veil do you think?” She turned her phone around again. 

Lily gave her a look. “The shorter veil.” She said. 

“Perfect.” She swiped again. Lily felt like this was some kind of game. “Shoes?” 

She showed her three different pairs. Lily picked the shorter of the heels. 

“Okay! Thank you! Do you want me to have lunch sent up here?” 

Lily nodded and then opened her phone. 

Lily: Did you send me flowers? 

Lily: That was very sweet of you <3

James: Did I send you flowers?

Lily: Did you not?

James: I did not. 

James: Sirius said he did not send them either. 

Lily: Damn. I’ll check with Mary. 

James: Good idea

Lily: Did you send me this beautiful bouquet of flowers because I finally kissed James?

Mary: HAHAHAHAH

Mary: no. But I should have. 

Lily: Well then who sent them to me?

Mary: Did you check with Sirius?

Lily: James said he didn’t do it either. 

Lily: Damn. Bertram. 

Mary: Yeah. You want me to come destroy them for you?

Lily: That’s a bit drastic. The poor flowers didn’t do anything. 

Lily: I don’t want to look at them while I'm trying to work though. 

Lily: I’m going to write a new card and have them sent to your room

Mary: Yay! I knew you loved me!

Lily: So much that I’m regifting deceitful flowers to you <3

Mary: <3

Lily was glad when five o’clock rolled around and she was able to leave her office and clock out for the day. She’d sent the flowers out to Mary after printing out the meme that Mary had made of her in a trash can, only, she put Mary’s face on top of her own face and then put that in place of the note. 

Sirius met her at the door of her office when she was locking up. 

“What do you want?” She asked, narrowing her brow. 

Sirius chuckled. “Hard day?” 

She pressed her lips together. “No, everyone was lovely. Rita Skeeter did not call my office half a dozen times trying to get me to tell her when I was planning on calling off the wedding and running off with Bertram.” 

“He sent you flowers, so soon, I’m guessing.” Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and fell into step beside her. Lily wasn’t surprised that he’d worked out where the flowers had come from.

“What do you want?” She repeated. 

“You were a bit bold last night,” Lily perked up, not sure where he was going with that. “Telling everyone that I liked you.” 

Lily scoffed. “Oh please. Did you really come up here to tell me that you don’t like me?”

“No, I already told you that I don’t want to make this week harder for you. But it’s also hard to talk to you when James is around.” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “Do we need to talk?” 

He sighed. “Yes, we need to talk, Lily We’re going to be family when mum adopts you. And she will adopt you.” 

Lily rubbed her hand up her arm. “So, you’re here for a friendly chat?” 

“Yes.” He nodded. “I figured that you probably had a hard day and I might have promised James that I’d get along with you as well.” 

“Sirius,” Lily stopped walking, but kept her arms crossed in her middle. “I like you. I know why you were upset with me before, and I don’t hold it against you. You know that, right?” 

“I mean, I assumed.” He shrugged, continuing down the hallway.

Lily didn’t start walking again. 

“I like you too,” Sirius sighed, turning around. “I just don’t want you to go around telling people.” Lily tilted her head. “I’ve been rooting for you since you got here. Things have been pretty stagnant for too long. You fell onto the chessboard and no one knew what to do anymore. It’s a lot of fun to watch.”

“Thanks. I’m glad that you’re enjoying my stumbling.” She started walking again. 

“Things need to change,” Sirius said. “And you might feel like you haven’t changed much, but you have, just by being here and putting up with everything. People care more now. Young people care more. People who wouldn’t have given our political system a second glance are paying attention now.” 

“Okay, now you’re being nice,” Lily reached out and shoved his shoulder. “Why?” 

He rolled his eyes. “I can be nice. I just need very few witnesses.” 

“Did you come and get me because you thought someone else might?” 

Sirius shrugged. “I might have seen someone else on my way to find mum. I might have changed course.” 

Lily dropped her shoulders, letting her hands fall to her sides, very glad that she did not have to try and talk to Bertram today. “Thank you.” 

“Figured there’d been enough pictures of you sent about without your consent.” 

“Yeah,” She narrowed her brow. “Thanks for not posting that photo of me and James. I know it would have made everything go smoother,” She shook her head. 

“But you didn’t want to share it. I get it.” He looked over at her. “What do you know about me?” 

Lily tilted her head. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, exactly that,” He reached up and pushed a lock of hair away from his face. “What do you know about me?” 

“Not as much as I’m guessing you think I should. I know you’re old money, I know your family has been in government for a long time, I know that you consider James’ parents to be your parents. I know you got uncomfortable when my gran brought up your brother.” 

“James is my brother.” 

“Okay, when she brought up Regulus.” 

“Right.” Sirius nodded. “Look, I’m not about to just spill all my secrets here, especially when we don’t know,” And his voice got very loud here, “Who is listening!” He smiled at her and she laughed. “Anyway, I understand why you hate the press.”

“I don’t hate the press.” Lily said. 

“Right,” Sirius mouthed and then pointed at the walls and then his ears. She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. “But I do. My family loves attention and they don’t care how they get it. Reg and I, we were toted around for publicity when we were little. There was nothing off limits, no one ever got too close for someone to tell them to stop, no one ever said anything too inappropriate for someone to step in. Someone tried to force Regulus to pose for a picture once. They grabbed his arm, he was seven or eight maybe? I don’t know, I was probably eleven. I went batshit on the reporter. I kept screaming at him, kicking and hitting, telling him to get away from me and Reg.” 

Lily took a deep breath through her nose. “You were children,” She said quietly. “Why would they treat you like that?” 

“Because no one was there to stop them,” Sirius shrugged, a rueful smile on his lips. “And after that, it felt like they were trying to make me lose my temper. And I did. A lot. I’m still weary whenever I see a reporter. So I get it. They don’t want the truth, they just want a story, whatever story they can find.” 

“Fuck ‘em.” Lily said. She really didn’t like seeing Sirius like this. Sirius wasn’t meant to be subdued or sad. 

He smirked at her. “Yeah, fuck ‘em.” He nodded. 

“They shouldn’t have done that to you.” 

“I know. And they shouldn’t have told everyone that you slept with Bertram. Not only because you didn’t, but also because it’s nobody's business.”

Lily stopped walking again, but this time it was because she needed to hug him. 

He was surprised at first, but then he patted her back awkwardly. “Alright, enough of this. We don’t need to be in the papers.” She stepped back. 

“Right,” She nodded. “But you do like me, and I am going to tell people.” 

“I’ll deny it.” 

“Yes, but I’ll know that it’s true. Also, it’ll get on Mary’s nerves if I tell her that you’re my new best friend.”

He raised his brows and thought about that for a minute. “I might not deny it then.” 

Lily laughed and linked her arm through his. 

At dinner that evening, Lily did not announce to everyone that she and Sirius were best friends, but he did laugh loudly at all of her jokes, and that seemed to be enough to get Mary suspicious, which was probably the main reason he was doing it. 

James seemed a little suspicious as well. 

“What was all that about?” He asked after dinner had ended and they were safely back in her room, away from potential prying eyes or ears. Lily hated feeling like she wasn’t free to walk around by herself in her own home. 

“What was what about?” She asked. 

“You and Sirius?” 

Lily snorted. “He wanted to get under Mary’s skin. Though I gave him the idea so I should get credit for it.” She toed off her heels and walked toward her closet. 

“So, you two really are friends already?” 

Lily closed the door most of the way, though she left it cracked so they could still hear each other. “Yes,” She picked out a comfy hoody and a pair of leggings. “I told you that we would be.” 

“Sure, but again, Sirius doesn’t _like _to get along with people.” 

“Well, he likes me. We bonded over how horribly the press treats us and he told me how great I am at my job.” She came out once out of her suit and joined him on the couch. “Bertram sent me those flowers today.” 

“Yeah,” He nodded. 

“I sent them to Mary.” 

“Did she like that?” 

“Yes, pink is one of her top five favorite colors.” 

“Right.” He nodded. 

“Anyway, Sirius said that he was going to find your mum, when he saw Bertram headed toward my office. So then he came to my office to walk me to dinner.”

“Because he didn’t want you to deal with another damning photograph.” 

Lily nodded. “I mean, I’m sure he didn’t want you to have to deal with it either. I don’t want you to think that I’m stealing your best friend from you.” James rolled his eyes. 

“You can have him. Mary and I will start a support group.” 

Lily laughed and grabbed his hands, shuffling closer to him. 

“How was your day?” She asked. “Did you also get accosted by Emma to make split second decisions about our wedding?” 

He snorted and nodded. “Yes, I did. I got to choose between two different ties, and two different tux styles. I also have a fitting on Thursday apparently. What did you get to pick?” 

“I chose the correct bouquet,” James laughed again. “And I don’t want to brag, but I had _three_ options for shoes.” 

“Three? That’s hardly fair. I didn’t even get to pick my shoes.” 

“I got to choose the length of my veil, and I was told that I get to try on two dresses that I’ve never seen before on Thursday.” 

James squeezed her hand and then moved his hand to her knees, which she’d pulled up onto the couch. “It’s going to be nice.” 

“Yes, it’ll also be a surprise.” Lily grinned. 

He looked thoughtful for a minute. “We can plan our own wedding someday.” He said quietly and Lily leaned her head against the couch and waited for him to explain. “In a couple years, and we can do it however we want. We can know all the details, including the cake flavors.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and nodded. “There should be more than one cake. And more than one flavor.” James laughed and leaned his head against the couch as well, so that he was only a few inches from her. 

“Right, of course.” She smiled at him and reached up and pushed her fingers through his hair. “Maybe it should just be a stack of different kinds of pastries.” 

“Now you’re onto something.” Lily nodded. “Why don’t people do that?” 

“I’m fairly certain it’s a challenge on the _Great British Baking Show_.” 

“Well maybe I should hold a baking challenge. Gather up some bakers and have them compete to make me the best wedding stack of pastries.” She laughed quietly. “Though I’d be the real winner, because I’d have about a dozen stacks of pastries.” 

James nodded. “I’d make you a stack of pastries if I knew how.” 

“You could still try.” Lily grinned. “I’d appreciate it even if they’re nothing to lust after.” 

James laughed and rested his forehead against hers. “I’ll give it a go then. I mean, you did make me a pie, so it’s my turn to bake.” 

Lily nodded. “And you still owe me chocolate so,” She shrugged a shoulder. 

“I haven’t forgotten,”

“I won’t let you forget.” 

James smirked and then closed the distance between them. 

The next morning Lily woke up early when Mary came into her room and crawled into bed with her. 

“What time is it?” Lily mumbled, starting to sit up. 

“Too early, go back to sleep.” Mary said, settling on the other side of Lily’s bed. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, though she did lay back down. 

“Yeah,” Mary nodded. “Things are changing though, and I just want to be near you.” 

“Okay,” Lily nodded, reaching out for Mary’s hand. Mary took it and squeezed before she shuffled a bit closer. “Love you, Mary.” 

“Love you, Lily.” 

When they woke up a couple hours later, Lily expected the rest of the morning to go quite like it had the day before. 

And it did at first. 

She went to breakfast, James kissed her before she went to work, Emma bombarded her with media requests that she swore she’d slimmed down, and today she was taking meetings instead of going to parliament, so she had the first hour of her day to make phone calls and answer emails, which she did at the same time. 

Her first meeting was at ten, and she hadn’t had time to check the list to see who had signed on to have meetings with her today. She knew that Alice wasn’t coming in, so there wasn’t really anyone to look forward to. 

Or so she thought. 

At ten o’clock, Euphamia Potter walked into her office. 

Lily looked up, confused, but happy to see her. She smiled and glanced at the clock. “Mia, it’s lovely to see you.” 

“Thank you, you as well, Lily.” She walked further into the room and then took a seat across from Lily. “I want you to know that I’d be here even if you weren’t marrying my son.” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “You would?” 

“Yes,” She nodded. “I’m not sure what my son has told you about me, but I’ve always been very involved in politics.” She crossed her legs at the ankle and clasped her hands together. 

Lily raised her brow in realization. “You’re my ten o’clock?” 

Mia nodded. “I went through all the proper channels so that no one could say that you were only seeing me because of James.” She said, “I hope it’s alright that I didn’t give you a heads up.”

“Of course!” Lily smiled at her. “I’m glad to have you on the docket today.” That was one less slot that a member of parliament could take. “And James has told me quite a bit about, well not your politics per say, but about all the protests that you’ve um- that you’ve attended.”

“I’ve been arrested quite a few time,” Mia sighed. “But they haven’t been able to make any of their charges stick and of course that’s what James has told you about me.” 

“I think what you’ve been doing is very brave,” Lily sat up straighter. “I wish more people wanted to enact the kind of change that you’ve been fighting for.” 

Mia smiled at her, “I appreciate you saying that. It seems as though your goals don’t align with what your father had in mind for the kingdom.” 

Lily pressed her lips together, but kept her smile in place. “No, and there are quite a few disappointed parliament members.” She shook her head. “But that’s alright. I can take their criticism so long as we keep moving forward. The men don’t like the word liberal, but as long as I disguise the word, they seem to be on board for liberal policies. Not big ones, mind you, but little ones.” 

Mia nodded. “I’m sure it’s discouraging being the only woman in the room as well.” 

Lily nodded and then cleared her throat. “I wasn’t expecting that. But it is a challenge that I will overcome.” 

“It’s not something that you have to do alone though. I came here to talk to you about an organization that I started with my good friends Daphne Shacklebolt and Charlotte Parkinson. Our main goal is to get women interested in running for political offices. You might have heard of the group, _Seat at the Table._” 

Lily leaned forward in her chair, elbows on her desk now. “Yes! I didn’t know that you started that group!” 

“I didn’t do it alone,” Mia grinned. 

“I remember seeing pictures of the group from the International Women’s March!”

“Yes, it was such a thrill to see all those women come together around the world like that. Were you in London still in 2017?” 

“Yes, Mary and I went with most of the girls in our dorm. It was very inspiring.” 

“Yes, and I was so thrilled to see that the march had such a positive affect in so many places around the world. More women than ever before were running for office, but here,” She held her hands out to show that there was really nothing to show. Lily nodded. 

“Yes, well there were a few women who ran for mayor, but since our parliament appointments are life terms,” She pushed back her hair. “And so many of them just get passed from father to son!”

“Yes.” Mia nodded. “There are a lot of eighty-year-old men in that room and I’m afraid that there’s going to be a period that sees a lot of turnover all at once. I’m glad that turnover is not right now, with you coming onto the throne in a few short weeks.” She smiled at Lily and Lily nodded. “Our organization wants to hold an event, in May, so we have a lot of time to talk things over, but I wanted to bring it to your attention now, since I’m here and James has been talking to me about how certain people have been talking to and about you. I assumed things were hard, given what the papers were saying, but you never know.” 

Lily nodded. “What kind of event do you want to hold?” 

“We’re still working out all the details, we don’t want it to be a fundraiser, or a march, but we want it to have the energy of a march. We want to create that kind of excitement, get women to sign up to run for offices.” There was a spark in Mia’s eyes that Lily had seen in James before. If this wasn’t an issue that was close to her heart, she would have been drawn in anyway. “I wanted to ask you if we could use the summer castle as a venue. We could pull excitement from having our first Queen crowned, and being in a place that has affected so much change.”

“The summer palace?” Lily pulled over her planner and flipped to May. “The event would have to be before the fifteenth, because I have plans to turn the palace into a group home for homeless children and teens.”

Mia raised her brows. “Really? How did you get that through parliament?” 

Lily smiled. “Technically and legally, I own the palace, so I didn’t need their approval. They weren’t happy about it though. Apparently, they all get to stay there whenever they want as a job perk.” Lily shrugged. “But this way it’ll be more useful.” 

“That’s brilliant. And we can definitely make sure that the event is before the fifteenth.” 

When the meeting was over, Lily had the distinct impression that she had impressed her future mother-in-law, and it felt good. 

Lily to Prince Jim: Listen

Lily: I think your mum and I are best friends now.

James: Wow. My family shows up and you just steal them all from me in less than two days.

James: I’m going to go find my father and let him beat me at chess before you take him from me too

Lily: I’m good at losing at chess too, maybe I’ll find him first.

James: Doubt it. You have meetings for the rest of the day

Lily: Yes but none that I want to take. 

James: Why are you best friends with my mum now?

Lily: She was my first meeting! She was here to talk about ‘A Seat at the Table.’

Lily: Which you failed to tell me she started. 

James: She’s done a lot, I couldn’t possibly have told you everything

Lily: You could have tried. 

James: I’ll do better in the future

Lily: Thank you! 

Lily: <3

James: if we get hacked, people will see that

Lily: *middle finger emoji*

James: that’s much better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, another weekend another chapter! Also I'm ahead again! When I posted last weeks chapter, that was the last fully written chapter I had, but now I have next weeks chapter written and half of the follow weeks. If I get any further ahead, maybe we can have another double update and finish up this fic sooner than later!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Did you like the Sirius and Lily moment? Did you like Mia? Prince Jim?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday!   
I hope you're all having a nice day, and that the weather is good where you are! It decided to snow here, so that's terrible. I don't think it has ever snowed on my birthday before, amazing.   
Hope you enjoy!

James met Lily at her office at five, with a large box of chocolates and a small bouquet of flowers.

She greeted him with a large smile. “Aren’t you a sight,” She said, going straight for the box of chocolate. Once the lid was off, she inhaled deeply, “And you smell divine,” 

James laughed at her, “I knew you were talking to the chocolate.” 

“You should have,” Lily agreed, picking up one of the pieces and stuffing it into her mouth. It had a caramel center and she was in love. 

“I’m stealing you for a date tonight.” Lily hummed and tilted her head to the side, looking at James now.

“I’m not sure that that’s how you ask someone on a date.” She said, grabbing a second chocolate. 

“I brought you chocolate and flowers, I didn’t do a terrible job.” James reminded her, reaching out to take a chocolate for himself. She allowed it, though he looked as though he expected her to close the lid on his hand. He popped it in his mouth.

“Alright, I suppose it was pretty good. I’ll go out with you- or allow you to steal me.” 

“Good.” He grinned, and then he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. She smiled against his mouth, her own still full of chocolate.

“What are we doing?” 

“It’s a surprise.” 

“No,” Lily shook her head. “I think you should just tell me what we’re doing.” 

“Well, we’re not leaving the castle, but that’s all I’m going to tell you.” 

“I didn’t think we were going to leave the castle, so that’s not really telling me anything.” 

“We can leave the castle.” James raised his brow. “We’re allowed to.” 

“Sure,” Lily nodded. “But this close to the wedding, I doubt that we’d get far out in public.” 

James nodded, “Which is why I set up our date in the castle.” 

“Which I assumed, so I’d like a new piece of information.” 

“No. You’re going to be surprised.” 

“You’ve already surprised me with flowers and chocolate.” 

“Well then you’re extra lucky and get two surprises this evening. Besides, I owed you chocolate from our bet about Sirius and Reggie, so you were expecting those.” 

“Are you sure I shouldn’t go have dinner with my new best friends?” 

James looked at her. “That’s it. I didn’t want to have to do this, but I’m telling Mary.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“I don’t think you’re leaving me with any other choice, Lily.” 

She linked her arm through his, “But she could do something mean to me.” 

“Like cover your bed in a teen pop sensation?” 

“Don’t call Justin a teen pop sensation.” Lily shook her head. “But yes! She might!” 

“He was-”

“I know. We’re not going to get into my dislike for Justin Bieber or how forgiving society is to white boys.” She shook her head. 

“Alright, that’s probably for the best seeing as how I’m trying to set the tone of the evening a bit more lighthearted than discussing centuries of systemic racism and sexism.”

“Speaking of, I had to talk to Rosier and Malfoy today. They decided to have a joint meeting with me so that they could discuss their more private concerns with how my impropriety is ruining the crown's reputation.”

“I wish you could fire them.” James said. 

“Me to, but that wouldn’t be very democratic.” She sighed, “Though neither is our current federal system.” 

“My mum did talk to me after her meeting with you this morning.”

“Yes? Did she also tell you that we’re best friends?” 

He rolled his eyes. “She told me that she’s very excited about the changes that you want to make. She thinks that you are going to be a great leader. A champion for young women everywhere, I think that was how she phrased it.” 

Lily felt her stomach clench. “I’m not sure I’m so comfortable with that title.” 

James chuckled. “Well, mum doesn’t hand out titles like that to just anyone. So I’d take it if I were you.” 

Lily shook her head and unlinked their arms so she could open the box of chocolates. 

“Lily?” 

She shook her head. “You were right when you said we shouldn’t get into all this now. We’re going on a date, let’s go back to you telling me about that.”

“I wasn’t telling you about that. What’s wrong?” 

She bit down on her tongue. She couldn’t be a champion for young women. She’d like to be, but she couldn’t. Not when she was letting a body of old men force her to get married before she took the throne because they didn’t believe that women should be allowed to rule on their own. “Nothing is wrong. That’s just a big compliment and I’m not sure I fit into it.” 

“Sure you do,” James was still looking at her sideways as they continued down the corridor. 

“Okay,” She shrugged, taking another chocolate. 

“Well now I know something is wrong. You’re not going to argue the point?” 

“No.” Lily shook her head.

James stopped walking and took her by the arm. “Is it me? Am I the reason you can’t accept my mum’s compliment?” 

Lily’s shoulders dropped. “Well I caved to their archaic rules, didn’t I? That’s not something a champion would do! Instead of sticking to my guns and proving that I’m more than capable of doing this on my own, I folded and accepted that this is just how things are.”

“They were going to give the crown to Bertram, Lily.” He said, putting a hand on her arm. “You tried to get the law overturned, but you can’t do it on your own and they weren’t ready to let go of it yet.” 

“I know.” 

“And you can enact big change-”

“I know,” She interrupted. “And I think I made the right choice, but I still don’t feel great about it when I think about it for too long.” She tucked her hair back. “I think about all the women that I’ve looked up to, and all the times they refused to bend, and I can’t help but feel like they would be disappointed in me.”

“That’s ridiculous.” James shook his head. “Look at all the work you’ve already done, all the groundwork that you’re setting up!”

“I know.” She said quietly. “It’s just something I’m going to have to sit with for a while.”

“It has only been a few weeks.” 

“Exactly.” She gave him a small smile. “Thanks for understanding that none of this was actually about you.” 

“Of course. It’s Sirius’s job to make everything about him, though I suppose you know that since he’s your best friend now.” 

“He told me that he was excited about me being queen!” She smiled for real now, and very ready to change the subject. She didn’t want to complain about the situation she was in, especially not when she was so lucky to be in the position she was in, that she was so lucky that James had turned out to be such a great partner in all of this. She wanted to just be grateful, but she also wanted things to be different. “He said that he’s been watching me since my gran came and pulled me out of Cokesworth.”

“Well, I’m glad.” 

“You don’t sound all that glad.” 

“I am.” 

“Jim,” 

“Lily Jane.” 

“I like my name, that doesn’t work.” 

“You could at least pretend.” 

“I won’t.” Lily shook her head and bumped her arm against his. “Now, tell me, why did you choose these flowers?” 

There was an alcove in the library, ensconced in stained glass that looked over the lake on the east side of the property. The lake was still frozen over, and the pine trees that surrounded it were capped in snow, and this was the setting James had chosen for their dinner date. 

It was beautiful, and it felt like a real date, even though Lily had spent a lot of time in the library. Even in this particular alcove. But with the flowers he’d picked out for her because the blue had reminded him of the dress she’d worn to the State Dinner, sitting in the middle of the table, and James smiling at her from the other side, it didn’t feel like she was just in the library. It felt special. It felt like home in a different sense. 

Things were going very well for a little over an hour, they were flirting and smiling and holding hands and Arden was just about to bring out dessert when there was a crash and one of the bookshelves in the front of the room tipped over.

“What the hell?” Lily stood up, taking a step back to put the table between her and whatever just happened. James stepped toward the noise. “James,” 

“Don’t worry, princess!” That was Moody’s voice and Lily relaxed, coming out from behind the table and rushing toward the crash with James. 

“Moody, what happened?” Lily asked, looking at the scene before her. Moody had tackled some poor page who looked completely flustered and winded. 

“I was looking over the security cameras that we’ve got outside you rooms, when I saw Arden carrying some trays. He told me that you two were in here having dinner, so I thought that I’d walk by to make sure that no one was here that shouldn’t be.” He stood up and pulled the page up by the scruff of his neck, he looked familiar. “I found him lurking in the hallway. So I watched him for a while. He waited until Arden had delivered your food and left before he snuck in, with this.” He reached into the overturned shelf and pulled out a camera. 

Lily looked at the camera and then looked to the page. Everything that Moody had said started to click into place.

She didn’t even know the page’s name. 

“Why?” She asked quietly and James put his arm around her shoulders. 

“Who is he?” James asked Moody.

“His name is Barty Crouch.” 

“As in-”

“The judge, yes. This is his son. Should have known it was you from the start,” Moody shook his head and Barty smiled at him. “You’re a snake, and the only reason you got a job here at all is because your dad wanted to give you a second chance. And you wasted it, for what?” 

“For what? The people don’t know the first thing about her! They all fawn over her but it’s lies!” Barty spit. “She’s not even from here and sh-”

“That’s enough.” Moody pulled him back and looked at Lily. “Don’t listen to him, princess.” 

“I’m not the only one who doesn’t think-”

“No, you’re not. Luckily, it’s not up to you,” James interjected. “What you’re doing is illegal and wrong.” Lily hadn’t heard this tone from James before and she gripped his arm tighter. His words weren’t particularly potent, but his tone was biting and cold. 

Barty didn’t seem to notice. He started laughing and spewing more hate as Moody dragged him out of the room. “You’re not going to get the crown! They’re not going to let you have it! They’re going to keep you off the throne! They don’t care what they have to do!” 

Lily felt like she was being doused in cold water. 

When the door was closed and the room was quiet, James turned to look at her, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of the door. Had that really just happened?

“Are you alright?” He asked. 

“Of course.” She nodded. “He didn’t touch me.” 

“That’s not what I mean,” James said quietly. 

And then there were a dozen of Moody’s men were walking into the room to usher James and Lily to a secure area, which was more protocol than necessary. It wasn’t as thought someone had broken into the castle, Barty had already been here.

They were brought to the throne room, and the guards were posted at each of the doors. Soon Anita and Mary had joined them and Lily’s quiet night with James had turned into a circus. 

“What happened?” Mary asked, rushing over to Lily’s side. 

“Moody caught the mole. It was Barty Crouch Jr. We’re here only because of protocol. Nothing happened.” James’ hand was on her back, rubbing small circles and then Anita was holding her hand and she realized she was shaking. They were reacting this way because she was shaking.

“He’s been following me around the castle.” She said quietly. “I knew that before, but I don’t know, I thought they were using timers and cameras maybe? I didn’t think that I was just not seeing- I mean he really didn’t-” She shook her head and put her free hand over her mouth. 

Nothing had happened, she would not cry about this. They were all being put in this room because of protocol, not because they were in danger. 

“I don’t want Bertram here anymore.” Mary said. “I don’t know what he’ll do when he’s kicked out on his arse, but I don’t want him here anymore.” 

Anita nodded and Lily just stared at the floor. Did Bertram feel the same way that Barty did? Listening to him scream at her had made her feel unsafe in a way that she hadn’t felt before. Had Bertram presented that same danger the entire time that he’d been staying in the castle? When she’d allowed herself to be alone with him. 

What had Barty meant when he said _they_? Who wasn’t going to _let _her have the crown?

Was there a plan in place to stop her? Past Bertram’s games?

She clenched her hands at her side and tried to slow her breathing. 

James’ parents walked in, but he didn’t leave her side. Sirius was close behind them. She locked eyes with him for a moment and he gave her a nod. 

James quickly filled his parents and Sirius in on what had happened, and then they were all quiet and tense, waiting for Moody, for more information, for the all clear. 

Lily let go of her gran’s hand, wiped her hands on her skirt and then took a seat on the floor. Mary quickly sat down behind her, leaned against her back. Chairs were brought into the room, but only Anita took one. Monty started pacing, James and Mia sat on the floor, James keeping his hand on her. Her shoulder, her arm, her hand. 

Sirius suggested that someone bring in a radio, but no one did. 

He joined them on the floor after that and Monty took a seat next to Anita. 

They were all quiet, everyone kept glancing at Lily like something terrible had just happened. She had to keep reminding herself that nothing had happened, because they were all acting like something had happened. 

She let her head fall back against Mary’s shoulder and Mary turned and kissed Lily’s head. “He didn’t knock over any good books, did he?” She asked quietly. 

Lily gave her a smile and shook her head. “No. None of the good books.” She didn’t know this for certain of course, but it wasn’t important, the talking was the important part. 

“That’s good,” Mary nodded. “Because if he ruined our good books, I’d have to go and find him.” 

“When’s the last time you read a book?” 

“I’ve got more important things to do lately. What about you? Do you even know how to read?” 

“No, that’s why I had that tutor during uni. So they could read to me.”

Mary snorted. “You and James were having a date?” 

“Yeah,” Lily sighed. “We didn’t get dessert.” 

“Bastard. Who interrupts before dessert?” 

“The antichrist.” 

“Probably not even him.” Lily snorted. 

It was a while still before Moody came in. Lily didn’t bother to stand up when he walked in, but James, Sirius and Anita all got to their feet. Mary turned around so her chin was resting on Lily’s shoulder. They both looked up at Moody. 

“The castle is clear.” He didn’t look happy. He was a professional, someone who had worked for the royal family for decades, and served in intelligence gathering before that. Lily didn’t blame him for this, but he probably blamed himself. “I didn’t think there were any breaches in security, but I wanted to be sure. I am sorry that it interrupted your night.” 

He rubbed his hands over his face, and everyone remained silent. “He was working with Bertram. He didn’t come out and say this of course, but when I let him know that I already knew that Bertram was working to get Lily out of the castle,” She flinched, “He talked a bit more. He’s a slimy sonofabitch.” He looked at Anita and Mia. “Pardon my language, but he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to tell me how he’d been getting away with it for so long. He was so proud of himself. I don’t think he was working with anyone else in the castle, but I’ll be conducting interviews with my staff and the castle staff over the next few days.”

“Thank you, Alastor,” Anita nodded. “Did you learn any new information?” 

He sighed again, “I don’t think he knows anything that he didn’t tell me, but no, I didn’t learn anything new. I’m going to drive him down to the station so that I don’t have to call the cops to come out here. Emma thought that would be best.” Anita nodded. He looked at Lily and James. “We’ll need to get statements from the two of you tonight. Since I was on the scene, I can’t take your statements, so Kingsley will do it if that’s alright.” 

Lily nodded. “What about Bertram?” 

Moody nodded. “I’m going to have him escorted back to his uncle's house. I’d bring him in with me and Barty, but I’m afraid that if I charge him now-”

“But you said that Barty told you that he was working with him,” Mary interrupted. 

“He did, but he could be lying. Bertram will claim that he’s lying. I need more evidence if I want to land a charge that will stick. Until then, we’ll just let him know that he is no longer welcome at the castle.” 

Lily bit her tongue, but she knew that this plan wasn’t going to work. 

“He’ll show up tomorrow.” She said. “When parliament is in session, he’ll show up.” And who knew what he would say. 

“I’ll stand outside the door myself,” Moody assured her. “I won’t let him in.” 

“I’m not sure if that’s legal.” 

“He broke his NDA,” Mary said, and she sounded upset. Lily stood up, brushing her skirt off when she was on her feet. 

“But we can’t prove it.” 

“I can keep him from walking in.” Sirius muttered, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Thank you,” Lily grinned at him and then helped Mary up. “But I can’t sanction that either.” 

“Well then pretend that you didn’t hear me,” Sirius said, and Mia tapped him on the arm, whether it was admonishing or not was debatable. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Moody said. “Kingsley is waiting in my office. I’ll walk you two down there before I take Barty in. I should probably give Barty senior a call first. Just to give him a heads up.” 

“I think he’d appreciate that,” Anita agreed. “I thought he was doing so well here.” 

“I thought so too,” Moody shook his head. “There’s something not right with him. It’s a shame.” 

It was another couple of hours before Lily finally got back to her room. James had walked her, and she hadn’t let go of his hand when she walked in, so he came in with her. She went to her closet and changed her clothes before coming back into the room and taking a seat on the edge of her bed. They had been quiet since they’d said goodnight to Kingsley. 

James stood at the back of the couch and Lily pulled her legs up under her. 

“Not quite how I’d planned for the night to go.” James said, and he sounded tired. They’d been in the throne room for hours while the security staff had swept the entire castle, while they had waited for Moody. 

“At least Moody caught him.” Lily said, tugging at the sleeves of her jumper so that they covered her hands. 

“Yes, I’m glad he was caught.” James said, and Lily wasn’t looking at him, but she could feel his gaze on her. He was worried about her, but she didn’t say anything else. “Well, it’s very late.” He said, looking at the grandfather clock her gran had thought she might like. Apparently it had once been her fathers. 

“It is late,” Lily nodded, though she hadn’t quite yet gasped that he was suggesting that he should leave so she could get some sleep before she had to go to work in the morning. “And I left my chocolate in the library.” 

James let out a huff of quiet laughter. “I’m sure Arden will find it and make sure that it gets back to you.” 

“Yes, but he’ll probably eat a piece or two first, and I was saving the coconut ones.”

“Are you gonna be alright?” He asked, pushing off the back of the couch. Her heart jumped a bit. She realized now that he was going to leave. 

“Oh, yeah we should probably get to sleep.” She looked at the clock again, this time actually paying attention to the hands. It was nearing one in the morning. 

“I’ll see you for breakfast though, yeah?” 

Lily nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

He looked her over for a moment and then nodded. “Alright. Sleep well, love.” 

“You too,” She tried to smile. 

He turned and started toward the door. She pushed her feet back onto the floor and stood up. “Wait. James?” 

He had almost reached the door. He turned around, brow raised. 

“Will you stay with me?” 

His eyes traced over her face, “Are you looking for a Hunger Games quote?” 

She nodded. 

“Always.” Her chin started quivering and he crossed the room incredibly fast, pulling her tightly against his chest and she let herself cry. She didn’t try to talk herself out of it, she didn’t try to hold back the tears, she didn’t apologize for it or try to stop as soon as she started, she just let James hold her while she cried. She let herself be afraid. She let herself be angry and hurt and confused and worried. She didn’t try to explain herself. 

She’d asked him for help, and he’d given it without hesitation, just as he’d been doing since she’d met him. 

He held her and played with her hair and whispered comforting words into her ear. He didn’t tell her she was overreacting, he didn’t tell her that things could have been worse, he just let her cry.

When she was all cried out, she decided to take a quick shower. When she got out, James was somehow in pajamas now, and sitting on the end of her bed watching some show on Animal Planet. 

“I asked Sirius to bring me something,” He said, motioning to his clothes. 

“What did he mean when he said they weren’t going to let me take the throne? They? Who is they?” 

James’ hand went to his hair and he shrugged one of his shoulders. “I think he means Bertram and his uncle. Rosier probably.”

“Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Burke, Rookwood, Lestrange; they all would love to see anyone else take the throne.” 

James nodded. “Probably.” 

Lily huffed. 

“But there’s nothing that they can do. We’ll be married in a few days,” His hand ran through his hair again and Lily’s heart rate picked up. A few days? It was officially Wednesday now. She had a dress fitting tomorrow and then the wedding was on Saturday. “And after we’re married,” James pushed through, “There’s nothing that they can legally do to prevent you from taking the throne.”

“I know.” Lily nodded. “They, whoever they include, have already broken the law though. And I don’t think they’re going to give in, just because Moody caught Barty.” 

“We can’t plan for the unknown,” He said, “But we’ll figure it out together when it comes. Whatever it is.” 

Lily let out a deep breath through her nose and pinched at the hem of her jumper. 

“We should get some sleep now.” 

“We should.” She shuffled closer to him, still gripping her jumper, worrying it with her fingers. “Thank you for staying.” 

“Thank you for asking me to stay.” He answered immediately. “I didn’t want to go anywhere, but I didn’t want to… impose.” He stood up and turned off the tv as he walked around to the other side of the bed. 

Lily pulled back her blankets. She didn’t know why he was starting off so far away from her. She was definitely going to plant herself against his side as soon as they were both lying down. 

But then he picked up a pillow instead of moving the blankets aside and stepped back. “What are you doing?” She asked. 

“Just borrowing a pillow,” He grinned at her and then started for the couch. 

Her shoulders dropped. She was sitting with the blankets covering her lap now, her hands folded in front of her and she watched him carry the pillow away from the bed and toward the couch. 

At first she thought that he probably just didn’t want to sleep in the bed with her. That he was uncomfortable with that. 

But then she thought that maybe, since she hadn’t stated very clearly that that’s what she wanted, he had just assumed that she wouldn’t be comfortable with it. And she was leaning toward this option. Maybe because it was so late and so much had happened today that she didn’t have room in her brain to overthink things, but she was almost positive that all he was trying to do was be respectful. 

Like when he said that he hadn’t kissed her because he hadn’t been sure if she was ready to kiss him yet.

“What’s that look for?” James asked, narrowing her brow at her. 

“The couch is rather small, James.” 

“It is not.” He said, looking down at the couch. 

She bit her tongue. “Well maybe not for one person, but there’s no way we’ll both fit on it comfortably.” 

He looked at her for a moment, his brow relaxing. He picked his pillow back up. “‘Hey James, I’d like you to sleep in the bed with me.’” She smiled at him as he made his way back over to the bed. “Of course, Lily. All you had to do was say so.” 

“I would have joined you on the couch had you insisted staying over there.” 

He looked at her, and despite everything that happened, she found it very easy to smile at what she saw in his eyes. He climbed onto the bed and settled back against the pillows. Lily was still sitting up and looking at him. He laughed. “What now?” 

“You’re still rather far away.” She jutted her chin out and turned toward her bedside table so she could turn out the lights. 

“Terribly sorry,” James laughed as the lights went out. It wasn’t completely dark though, the moonlight coming in through the windows cast blue light on everything. She heard him shuffling under the blankets and she looked over to see him, without his glasses on, and in the middle of the bed. “Better?” 

“Much better.” She shuffled over the rest of the way and he opened his arm as she cozied up against his side. She threw one of her legs over his and rested her hand on his chest. “But this is even better.” He laughed again and kissed the top of her head. 

“Remember how last Thursday-”

“That was a whole week ago.” 

“Not quite, but still, I’m glad we’re past the point where you ignore that you have feelings for me.” 

“I like you a whole bunch. Now stop making fun of me or I might change my mind.” 

“I don’t really want to stop making fun of you.” 

“I’m sleeping.” 

“Then you can’t hear me.” 

“Jim,” 

“Lily,” 

She pulled her head off his chest and look at him. His face was mainly shadows, but she could see his eyes and they were shining. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too,” 

“Even though it was nearly impossible to get you i-” She stopped speaking abruptly and James started laughing. 

“No, please, continue.” 

“No,” Lily shook her head. “No, I’m just going to kiss you now.” 

James reached up and cupped her face. “I suppose that is an acceptable alternative.” 


	33. Chapter 33

Lily woke up with her face in James’ hair. It smelled amazing.

He was laying on his stomach, an am draped across her and his head tucked against her shoulder. The arm he was laying on was a little tingly, but she definitely wasn’t ready to move and wake him yet. She flexed her fingers and closed her eyes. 

If she just lived in this moment for the rest of the day, then she didn’t have to think about anything else. She could just enjoy the smell of James’ hair and listen to him breath. It would all be very peaceful.

She tried to fall back asleep, but she heard her phone buzzing on the couch where she left it last night. Or maybe it was James’ phone. She couldn’t go back to sleep though, because as soon as she was thinking about her phone, she was thinking about all the work she had to do today, and how busy things were going to be.

She bent her arm up and buried her hand in James’ hair. 

She thought it was unfair that his hair was a soft as it was. 

He took in a deep breath and shuffled closer, his hair tickling her nose. His arm tightened around her middle and he pulled her closer, his lips finding her shoulder. “It’s still early, yeah?” His voice was rough and quiet. Lily bit the inside of her cheeks. 

“I don’t know what time it is,” She said, still playing with his hair. 

He turned his head away for a moment, glancing at his watch. “It’s seven.” 

Lily sighed. “Well that explains why my eyes are stinging.” 

“Five hours of sleep isn’t enough for you?” 

His hair, his voice, there was so much that wasn’t fair here. 

“Not typically.” She sighed. “And Mary woke me up early yesterday, so I didn’t sleep well then either.” 

“And I kept you up late. Two days in a row now.” 

Lily smiled and then turned on to her side, scooting down so her forehead was resting against his. His eyes were still closed. “I like waking up next to you.” 

“I don’t mind you waking me up.” He pecked her lips without opening his eyes. “Now, go back to sleep. Breakfast isn’t for another hour.” 

“I’ll try.” She agreed. “But you’re distracting.” Which was not a bad thing. It was ridiculously easy to focus on him instead of whatever was causing her phone to buzz.

“I’m not sorry about that.” Lily smirked and kissed him again. 

“I’m not either.” James chuckled and then his hand was on her cheek and he was kissing her again, less peck-ish and more like he meant it now. 

“Yes,” James nodded. “I like waking up next to you too.” Lily hummed against his lips and then turned her head away.

“I’m trying to go back to sleep, James.” 

“No,” He pulled his hand through her hair. “I was trying to go back to sleep.” 

“Well, my apologies.” 

“You’re forgiven.” 

After Amelia and Gwen came in just before eight, looking flustered enough to turn Lily’s face red, James went back to his room to get properly dressed and Lily got ready for the day. She put on a dark navy skirt and jacket and did her hair up. She wanted to look more professional today, since she thought it might help when shit hit the fan.

And if, miraculously, shit did not hit the fan, then it wouldn’t hurt to look extra professional anyway.

She was stepping into her heels when James knocked on the door. She smiled at him as he walked in.

“Moody caught the mole, you don’t need to walk me to breakfast.” 

“I missed you too much, I couldn’t stay away,” James shrugged, leaning against the door frame. “Also I want to talk to you about something.” 

“Snogging is not the same as talking, James and I don’t have time to reapply my lipstick if we’re going to get to breakfast before Mary eats all the good toast.” James laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“If I meant that I wanted to snog you, then I would have just said that. I mean, I do want-“ He shook his head. “You distracted me earlier. I want to talk to you.” 

Lily smirked at him and then nodded. “About what?” 

“I want to go with you to parliament this morning.” James said. “Or not, _with you_, but I’d like to go to parliament, as well. I don’t know if that’s out of the ordinary for someone in my position, but I think I’d like to be more involved.” 

Lily looked at him, arms crossed over her chest and really looked at him. “Are you sure that’s why you want to go today of all days?” 

“I’d like to start going before people start calling me king.” He blinked when he said that. “Is it weird that I keep forgetting that I’ll have that title after you're crowned?” 

“James, if you want to be more involved in politics, then of course I want you to go, but if you’re suggesting that you go today because you’re worried that Bertram is going to storm in, then I don’t want you to go.” 

His hand jumped to his hair. “I wanted to go to the last one, but I knew that if I brought it up then, that you’d think that it was because I wanted to be there for you when they started asking you questions about the photo. There really hasn’t been a time for me to ask you where there hadn’t been something else going on as well.” 

Lily nodded and walked over, taking his hand, “Just say it though. Say that you’re not going to watch for Bertram.” 

“I’m not going to watch for Bertram. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for Sirius, maybe Mary too, but Bertram is all yours.” 

She squeezed his hand and nodded. “Alright, perfect. I didn’t want to have to look for Sirius and Mary.” James smiled at her and pulled on hand a bit. “Even though Mary is shite at hiding and is usually very easy to spot. I mean at least half of her outfit is normally sparkly or neon.”

“That’s true. I am here for you though. I know I just said that I didn’t want you to think-”

“James Potter. I know that you’re here for me. I cried all over you last night and then didn’t let you leave. I know that you’re here for me.” She repeated. “Now let's get down to breakfast so Sirius can make fun of me with his eyes for having had you spend the night.” 

James snorted. “You hope he only uses his eyes.” 

“Yes.” Lily nodded profusely. “I really hope he only uses his eyes, or I’ll have to kick him in the shin.” 

“The shin?” James tutted as they walked toward the door. “I never would have guessed that you’d threaten his shin.” 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m just saying, you have two threats. Side pinching and shin kicking.” Lily pinched him and he laughed, “Ow, and now you’re just proving my point.” 

“I don’t care. They’re effective threats. Do you think they would work against Rosier?” James laughed again. 

After breakfast, Lily and James walked into Parliament together, though Lily made sure to let go of his hand before they were in the room. She nodded at him with a small smile as she went to her seat at the front of the room, and he took a seat along the left side of the room, where visitors and the press were allowed to sit. 

She was always nervous when she walked in here, because she knew that it was going to be hard to walk the line between firm and docile, soft and authoritative. She had to please everyone in the room as much as she could. Today, she was nervous for a different reason. She was worried because James was here, and she didn’t really want him to see how some of the members of Parliament talked to her. 

She took her seat and picked up the agenda for the day. There were no surprises on the list, which was a good thing, because she didn’t know how well she would deal with any more surprises.

She took out her notes from her meetings yesterday and their session on Monday and looked over them, marking a few things that she wanted to make sure to touch on. 

Today everyone seemed to shuffle in a bit slower than they did on Monday. There were no salacious rumors going about that she was sleeping with her rival for the throne, and so they didn’t feel the need to be sitting in their seats before nine o’clock.

Unlike Monday, she got a few friendly waves from Flitwick, Bones, and Meadows. She often forgot that Dorcas’ husband was part of the parliament, since he was twice her age and she never thought of him as Dorcas’ husband. She waved back to the three of them and saw Rookwood roll his eyes at her being _friendly_. Was she somehow doing that wrong? Waving to people was worthy of an eye roll?

She bit down on her tongue and cleared her throat. 

What a great way to start the meeting. 

Frank Longbottom came up to her and gave her a few new sheets about the project that he was overseeing with Alice, who had taken a seat next to James. 

“Thank you, Frank,” 

“Of course,” He grinned. “Thanks for being so prompt about getting back to Alice and I. I know that you’ve got a lot going on right now.” 

Lily shook her head. “The children have to be a priority. Nothing is more important than the work that you two are doing. It’s going to help so many people.” 

Frank smiled at her. “Yeah, I hope so. Let’s just hope that they see it that way.” He nodded toward the rest of the room and Lily smiled. 

“I’m sure that you will. You’ve done fantastic research and all of your numbers are sound.” 

He walked off to take his seat and Lily felt a little bit better. Not _everyone _in the room hated her. And she was making positive changes. 

“Alright, let’s get started,” She said, standing up and walking toward the podium with her pen and the agenda. “We are lucky enough to have borrowed Alice from her school today, so she could present the bill that her and Frank Longbottom have been working on. We’re going to let them take the floor first so that Alice can get back to the children,” Alice smiled, standing up and collecting her bag. 

“Hem hem,”

Lily flinched at that noise. It was obviously feminine, but Lily and Alice were the only women in the room to her knowledge.

“Excuse me,” There was an audible shift as everyone in the room turned to look at the door, where there stood a short, elderly woman stood in a bright pink skirt and blazer made out of what appeared to be the worst fabric in the world. Possibly carpet? There was no way that it wasn’t scratching up the woman’s arms.

“You’re interrupting an active session right now,” Lily narrowed her brow. She looked familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “If you have something that you’d like to share with us, you can take a seat and we’ll get to you when we can, though it will probably be a few hours. We have a full list today.” 

“Yes, I understand that, and I appreciate order and procedure as much as the next, but I’m Dolores Umbridge, I work for the ministry and I need to speak with you.” Lily blinked at her, refraining from grinding her teeth at the woman’s self-importance.

“That’s fine, I’ll be taking meetings later in the afternoon.” 

James stood up, probably to help her find her way to the proper person to deal with an intruder, but when he stepped up in front of her, she side stepped him. 

“I’m a lawyer, Princess.” Dolores had a small smile on her face like she was about to gleefully inform everyone in the room that all of their pets had just died. “And I need to talk to you. I’m representing Bertram Aubrey.” 

There it was. Though she was surprised that he’d gone the lawyer route. That didn’t seem as hands on as he liked to be. Though he did hire Barty to follow her around the castle. Maybe he didn’t want to get his hands dirty in front of everyone.

As soon as she’d said Bertram’s name, all eyes were back on Lily. 

“And that’s fine, I will meet with you after we’re done here.” 

“That would be fine, if you hadn’t barred him from entering the castle. It is his right as a Lord and second in line for the throne, to attend these sessions should he wish to.”

“I did not bar him from the castle,” Lily said, and she could feel the tension in the room growing. “Even though he has not attended any of the parliament sessions while he’s been staying in the castle, I did expect him to show up at some point today. He was barred from the living quarters, and if he told you otherwise, then you were misinformed. If you need any more information, you can find Emma Vanity or Alastor Moody.” Judging by the look on her face though, Lily was quite sure that Dolores had walked into this room knowing full well that Bertram would have been allowed to enter the chambers had he shown. 

This was a show.

Just like everything else where Bertram had been involved. 

And Lily was so fucking tired of it. 

Dolores smiled at her. “Of course, I am so sorry to have interrupted your very important business.” Lily did not like this woman’s tone.

“I highly doubt that. You’re welcome to leave now.” She saw James’ brow jump and couldn’t believe that she had actually said that out loud. She looked at Alice, “I’m so sorry that you’ve been needlessly delayed, Alice. Please, come up and take the floor.” 

Alice looked toward Frank, who was also standing up. 

She saw Dolores leave, and as soon as the door closed, she went back to her seat and flipped open her notepad. 

“That’s it?” Rosier shouted, standing up from his seat. “Dolores bloody Umbridge walks in here telling us that you’ve taken to barring people from the chambers and we’re not going to talk about it?” 

“I know that you’ve taken a shining to deliberately ignoring about half of what I say,” Lily didn’t stand up from her seat, “But please don’t stand there and pretend as though you didn’t hear me tell her that I had _not _barred anyone from the chambers. Anyone and Everyone is always welcome to sit in on our proceedings. You know that as well as anyone.” 

She’d been getting more brazen with him in their private meetings, but that was as far as she’d ever taken things with him in public. 

Lord Meadows raised his hand from his usual seat in the back of the room. He never said much, so Lily was surprised to see his hand in the air.

“Yes,” She nodded in his direction. 

“I think what Lord Rosier is trying to ask, is why Lord Aubrey has been removed from the castle at all. After all, you had agreed to let him stay when Lord Rosier,” He paused and looked around the room, “And others, asked for the accommodation. The two of you seemed to be getting on rather well.” 

“Very well,” Someone muttered a little too closely to their microphone. Lily wasn’t sure who it was, but she saw them all shift their gaze from Lily to James, who had taken his seat again now that Dolores was gone. 

She swallowed down the childish things that she wanted to say and stood up. “Bertram was asked to leave the premises last night after an incident. He was asked to leave because my head of security thought it best to have everyone, but family leave the castle so that he would have less to worry about. With more family being in the castle than usual, due to the wedding on Saturday, manpower needed to be used differently than say, if this incident had happened last week.”

Malfoy had the decency to raise his hand now. Alice and Frank were both standing next to the podium awkwardly. “This incident,” Lucius always carried around a cane with him, a stupid, hideous thing with a snake head on the top, and he tapped it against the floor before he continued. “Are you going to inform us what it was?” 

Lily shook her head, “Though I’m sure some of you already know, no. I’m not going to discuss it at this time. No one was hurt, Moody was able to foil the plot, and some of you will be asked to talk to him or the chief officer soon, but as of now, it’s an active investigation and I’m not at liberty to give you all the details you want.” 

They didn’t like that answer, and a few of them shifted uncomfortably in her seat, though she didn’t mind either. “Now, do you think we could do our jobs? You’ve all been far too interested in distractions these last two sessions. Alice and Frank are going to give us a presentation about their bill that would bring education and healthcare to thousands of children throughout Gryffindor. A very worthy cause, we’ve all agreed. So, let’s give them our undivided attention.” 

Gordon, the prime minister, came up to her when they all took recess for lunch. 

“We knew they were going to try something.” Lily said before he could say anything. 

“Yes,” He nodded, taking a seat beside her as she finished packing up her things so she could go to lunch. “Yes we did. I did not expect them all to sink so low though. What happened last night?” 

Lily huffed and looked around the room. “Barty Crouch Jr has been working for us for about six months. He’s also been the leak these last couple weeks.” 

“Barty?” Gordon sighed and ran his hand over his face. 

“Yes. He said that he’s been working with Bertram, but we haven’t pressed charges against Bertram since there’s no hard evidence saying that he hired Barty, or that he knew what was going on.” 

Gordon nodded slowly, looking around the room as well, his eyes stopping to rest on a few people in particular. “And you think they’re in on it as well?” 

“I just don’t know what they’re plan is exactly. First, they wanted to use Bertram to lure me away of my own free will, now they want to what? Scare me out of the castle? It’s not going to work.” 

“Bertram came out and denied that there was anything going on between the two of you too Why did he do that?” 

“Honestly? I don’t know. I think he was trying to get me to talk to him in person. He sent me flowers the other day too. But after today, I’m pretty sure he knows that I know that he’s full of shite. So I think he’s going to be done playing nice.” 

“I can’t believe he sent Umbridge in here. I despise her.” 

“I’ve never met her before today, but she seems unpleasant.” 

James made his way up the stairs and Lily smiled at him. 

“Great first meeting, no?” She asked him and Gordon chuckled.

“Oh yes,” James nodded, “They should televise these things if they’re half as entertaining usually.” 

“Regardless of what happened, I am glad to see you here today.” Gordon stuck his hand out and James shook it. 

“Yes, I figured it was time I start working out what my role will be. I know that I’ll be the consort, but I don’t want to be passive.” 

“Good to hear it. Though I don’t know how you could be passive, being Mia’s son.” Gordon chuckled and James nodded appreciatively. 

“That’s a good point.”

“Well, I’m going to go and grab something to eat before our break ends.” 

“See you in a bit,” Lily waved, picturing Rookwood rolling his eyes as she did. 

“Are you alright?” James asked once he was gone. 

“Of course.” Lily nodded. 

“Do you still think he’s going to show?” 

Lily nodded. “Yes, I do. Did you see Mary or Sirius?” 

“No, I think Anita is keeping them preoccupied.” 

“Ah,” She nodded. 

“I know you’ve told me about your customer service voice, but the voice you were using to address them was something entirely different.” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I went a bit far with Rosier.” She bit her tongue and looked down at her hands. 

“No,” James shook his head, “Maybe, I don’t really know, but I don’t think so. And that’s not what I meant. You were very confident, very sure of yourself.”

Lily snorted. “Well I have to appear that way. Otherwise they’ll eat me alive.” 

“True, but I bought it.”

They went back to her office for lunch, which James had ordered from a local Thai place. Her office smelled amazing and she fell back onto her chair, ready to stuff her face. 

“Lily?” Emma knocked on the door and then walked in without waiting for a reply. 

“Emma, I’m sure this can wait until I’m finished with my lunch.” 

“It should be able to wait but it’s rather impatient. Dolores is here.” 

“I told her to get a meeting with me after parliament is done for the day.” 

“Bertram is with her.” 

Lily looked over at James and he put down his takeout box and sat upright. 

If she spoke to him now, then maybe he wouldn’t come out onto the floor of parliament. 

Or maybe he would. 

She hadn’t spoken to him in a long time. 

She didn’t know what the right answer was. 

“I don’t think they’ll take no for an answer, Lily.” Emma said, which made up her mind. 

“Tell them that I’ll see them in twenty minutes.” Lily said. “I’m not going to let him or his uppity lawyer boss me around.” 

Emma gave her a small smile and nodded. “Very good, ma’am.” That was the most formal Emma had ever been with Lily, so she figured she’d done something right. She closed the door behind her and Lily picked up her food. “I don’t want to talk to them,” She sighed, shoveling in a bite that was too large. 

“I know.” James nodded. “But he can’t really do anything, from a legal standpoint. I don’t know why he brought Umbridge into this. My mum can’t stand her.”

“I’ve never heard of her before today.” Lily shook her head. “Though, I saw Gordon’s face and it didn’t look as though he was all that fond of her either. And Gordon is good at getting alone with everyone.” 

“He really looks out for you, doesn’t he?” 

Lily shrugged. “He’s a good bloke. He’d like to see me succeed.” 

The twenty minutes she bought herself disappeared rather quickly, and soon Emma was knocking on the door again and leading Bertram and Dolores into the room. Lily didn’t bother to put away her food, but she did stand up to properly introduce herself to Dolores. 

“It’s nice to meet you in a more appropriate setting,” She said as Dolores took her hand. The older woman gave her a very tight-lipped smile and nodded. 

“Well, I wished to speak to you before parliament started-”

“I don’t make myself available at all hours of the day, though you could have called my assistant. Barging into the middle of a meeting that’s in session doesn’t paint you in a good light in my eyes. Especially when you immediately start spouting falsehoods.” She sat back down and took a bite of her food, deliberately avoiding Bertram’s gaze. She chewed and swallowed before she spoke again. “I hope what you have to say is worth interrupting my lunch?” 

Umbridge didn’t seem to like the fact that Lily was not at all flustered or intimidated by her presence. Lily could see how she would make for a good lawyer. She had an air about her that told Lily she didn’t allow anyone to say she was in the wrong, she seemed strong willed and determined, both admirable qualities, and yet Lily was sure this woman used them for less than admirable causes. 

Umbridge straightened her jacket and opened her mouth, but it was Bertram who spoke up. 

“Lily, what’s going on?” He asked, and Lily slowly moved her gaze from Umbridge to him. She narrowed her brow slightly and set down her fork to cross her arms over her chest. 

“What do you think is going on, Bertram?” 

“I don’t know,” He said just as slowly, and Lily had to give it to him. He was a good actor. 

She could see the look James was giving him out of the corner of her eye, somewhere between incredulous and exasperation. 

“You really think that Barty didn’t immediately spill all the information he had?” She asked, tapping her fingers on her arm. “Or that I didn’t realize what you were up to weeks ago? Did you think that no one in the entire castle had seen you doing shady shit since you got here? Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you only ever appeared when I was alone? Or that your _feelings _toward me were entirely insincere?”

He blinked, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “I don’t know what you mean.” He said, shaking his head. “What have I done-”

“Other than tell James that you wanted to get me to fall for you so that I’d call off the wedding and hand my crown over to you?” Lily interrupted. “I’m going to need you to stop playing dumb. You know exactly why you were escorted out of the castle last night.”

Bertram turned his head to look at James, who gave him a mock salute and then stuffed noodles into his mouth. Lily smiled.

“I can’t believe that you’re standing there on your high horse, accusing my client of such terrible things.” 

“They are terrible things, aren’t they. Using someone, lying, tricking, identifying with Holden in Catcher and the Rye. Not things that good people do.”

Bertram shook his head and gave her one of his pointy smiles, but it had no warmth. “If you knew that I wasn’t really into you, then why didn’t you say something earlier?” 

“Bertram, I don’t think you should-”

“I wanted to kick you in the shin earlier.” Lily interrupted. “But I figured it was best to let you continue with the plan that I was aware of.” She picked up her fork again and took another bite. 

Bertram let out a bitter laugh. “You’re more clever than I gave you credit for, that’s for sure.” He turned toward James. “And you, when you came and asked for my help,” 

“She knew then. We talked about it beforehand.” 

“You knew that he asked for my help?” Bertram spun back to Lily.

“We’re not really in the business of keeping secrets from one another.” Lily shrugged. “Wouldn’t make for a solid foundation. And we are getting married after all. Best to put our best foot forward.” 

“We came in here to discuss the legal matter of-”

“Lily didn’t break the law.” Bertram interrupted his lawyer this time. “And she’s not going to. She’s not above playing dirty, but she won’t break the law.” He pushed his hair back, only for it to spring forward again. “Look, I want to be king. I haven’t always wanted to be king, but it’s what my father wanted for me before he died.” 

“How interesting.” Lily deadpanned. 

“Right, yes, your father is dead too and wanted- Anyway, I couldn’t just give up. Especially not with my uncle- you’ve met him. And Rosier was breathing down my neck-”

“Are you trying to play all this off like it’s not a big deal?” Lily shook her head. “You almost ruined my career before it even began.” 

He looked at Umbridge, “I’m not going to implicate myself in any crime that’s been committed, but if I had done _something, _I wouldn’t have thought that they’d think you were sneaking out of my room.”

“Bull shite,” Lily shook her head. “After the other pictures you made sure were in the paper and all over the internet? How were they going to come to any other conclusion?” 

“I refuted it, didn’t I? I didn’t have to do that, I could have just sat back and watched your ship sink. And I sent you the flowers! I felt bad! I was trying to sway public approval in my favor, but I wasn’t trying to get you burned at the stake over a sex scandal! Which I’ve been trying to tell you, but you’ve been avoiding me- Not that I blame you!” He put his hands up when she made to interrupt him again. 

“Bertram, you brought a lawyer-”

“I did not tell her to barge into parliament. I brought her in case Emma or Moody gave me any trouble.” He eyed Dolores. “She decided to go rogue while I was on the phone with my uncle.” 

“When there has been an injustice against a citizen of the great country of Gryffindor, I can’t just sit back and do nothing.” 

“There wasn’t any injustice,” Bertram muttered, shaking his head. “Other than Lily being ahead of me in line for the throne.”

Lily looked over at James, who appeared to be just as confused about what was going on. 

“I’m bowing out, Lily. Rosier, my uncle, all them, I’m sure they’re not, but I am. I’m done playing this game. I wasn’t cut out for this shite.” He shook his head. “I mean, I was. But- I don’t know what I want to do, but trying to take your job isn’t it. You’re better at it than I would be, anyway.” 

“I’m not going to fall for that.” Lily said, hoping that she didn’t sound as young as she felt. “Your ego would never let you say something like that sincerely.”

Bertram nodded, “Sure, and I get that, but I really am going to bow out gracefully. Well as gracefully as one can after being escorted off the premises.” 

“At least there were no photos of that,” James muttered into his box of noodles. 

“You told me that you require my services, Lord Aubrey.” 

“I told you that I _might_ require your services.”

“I’m a very busy woman,”

“My uncle has you on retainer.” He shook his head and held his hand out across Lily’s desk. “I’m not really sorry about how things went down, except that last photo, though I do hope to be your competitor once again someday soon. Perhaps I’ll get to debate you on the parliament floor.” 

“She’ll eviscerate you.” James spoke up again. Bertram gave him a tightlipped smile and Lily took his hand because he was still holding it out and she wanted everything to stop feeling awkward and itchy. 

“I look forward to it.” He released her hand and spun around. “I’m sorry that I interrupted your lunch. I leave you in peace for now.” 

And then he walked out of the room.

When the door shut, Lily turned to James with her hands on her hips. “What the fuck was that?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter for me to write! Lots going on, lot's of balls in the air!  
I hope you enjoyed!  
Don't forget to leave a review!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Double update for no reason at all really. Enjoy!

Lily’s heart rate did not drop for the rest of the workday.

When she finally stepped out of parliament at the end of the day, and Bertram had not shown up to put her on blast, she was able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

The session ended up lasting until five, and Lily thought that the main reason for that was because the members had wanted to give Bertram as much time as possible to show up and talk poorly about her.

But he didn’t. Moody had watched him get into his car with his lawyer and drive off. Apparently he hadn’t gone back to his uncle’s estate either, but rather he was on his way back to his flat in the city. Diagon Alley was hours away from the castle, and Lily couldn’t work out how he was planning to steal her throne from all the way over there. That wasn’t even the city that Lily would be getting married in.

“Wait,” Sirius held up his hand and shook his head slowly, letting the words digest. 

They were all at dinner now, and Lily and James had just finished filling their family in on all the details that they had missed over the course of the day. 

“Yes, that doesn’t quite make sense.” Mary agreed, looking at Anita and then back at Lily. “He _bowed out_? Left you in _peace_. That sounds like a lie.”

“That’s exactly what it sounded like,” Lily nodded, but she was so unsure. 

“I don’t know what his next move is,” James shrugged, “But,” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Lily. “I don’t think it’s going to be before the wedding.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and nodded. “That was the impression I got to. I think he wants to be a member of parliament now. Debate me on the floor?” James nodded and Lily closed her eyes. She was so tired of guessing at everyone’s motives. “I don’t know. I’ve been worrying about it all day, but I just don’t know.” 

“Well then let’s not worry,” Anita leaned forward in her chair and took Lily’s hand. “We’ve all got enough on our minds, don’t we? And you’re done working for the week, so you don’t need to worry about him interrupting anymore!” 

“Oh yes,” She frowned. “I forgot that I’m done working for the week.” 

“We’re going into the city and getting dress fittings tomorrow and Friday Reggie and your parents will arrive,” Anita smiled around the table. “We’re going to have a very exciting and wonderful weekend! Let us not allow for Bertram to cast a shadow on any part of it.” 

James’ put a hand on her knee, and she was glad for the added comfort. He knew that Anita switching from Bertram to the wedding was not an effective way to calm her down, or to make her feel any better. 

“Okay, but we can’t just let him get away with this shit,” Mary said, looking at Sirius now, who was already nodding. 

“We can,” Mia spoke up. She and Monty had been quite thus far. “And we will. At least until the weekend is over.” She tilted her head forward, her brows raising. Sirius instantly nodded and Mary, who’s mother had allowed her to get away with almost everything and anything for her entire life, floundered for a second before she shook her head. 

“I’m was not suggesting that we call attention away from the big day, or my sister,” She reached out and poked Lily’s hand. “But maybe I should send him a bouquet of flowers myself.” 

“Oh yes,” Sirius scoffed, “That will really show him.” 

“It will be full of poison oak or ivy,” Mary said, rolling her eyes. 

“It’ll have to look non-threatening though,” Lily said, always ready to play along with any plot from _Ella Enchanted_. “Make him want to stuff his face into it to smell it.” 

“Yes,” She nodded. “And then he won’t be able to come out in public because his whole face will be all swollen.” 

“And he’ll look like a tomato man. It’s a brilliant plan, Mary.” 

“Thank you for always seeing my genius plans for what they are.” 

“Does she _always _see your plans as genius?” James asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. Mary jerked her head back and Lily tilted her head to look at him sideways. 

“Excuse you?” 

“Yes, excuse you?” Mary repeated. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying, you might have suggested a few quite violent plans-”

“I never said they weren’t genius,” Lily interrupted, “I only wanted to make sure that she didn’t end up in prison.” 

“Yes, she only wanted to make sure that I didn’t end up in prison. Which I think is pretty genius of her, so,” She clicked her tongue and took a drink from her water as though it was wine. Lily did the same and Sirius laughed at them. 

“Mate,” He shook his head. “Even if you _were _right, they weren’t going to let you be right.”

“I don’t think it’s a terrible idea,” Mia shrugged. “I mean, if his face was completely swollen, he would be less inclined to show up at the wedding.” 

“Mia,” Monty said quietly. “I’m sure Moody isn’t going to let him barge into the church anyway.” 

“That is true,” Anita nodded. “Security is going to be quite tight.”

“Though he was originally on the guest list, seeing as how he is closely connected to the royal family and he is a lord.” Lily pointed out. 

“Well obviously his invitation has been rescinded.” Anita said quickly.

“Obviously.” Lily shrugged a shoulder. “I’m just saying that there are a lot of people on the guestlist that don’t necessarily want to see things turn out well.” 

Everyone at the table was quiet for a moment.

“So, we need a lot of poison oak bouquets?” Sirius asked and Lily smiled at him. 

“Probably.” 

Mary started walking Lily back to her room before James could say much about it, and Lily, as much as she’d enjoyed spending last night in James’ arms, wasn’t upset about spending some extra time with her best friend. James and Sirius were also rather excited about Remus and Peter getting in later that evening. Since she had no immediate damage control to do with either of those boys, she didn’t think it was necessary to ambush them when they got in. She could greet them during breakfast. 

Lily and Mary both changed into comfy clothes, put their hair up in brightly colored scrunchies and sent a few pics to Reggie and Mary’s mum, before settling into Lily’s bed for a nineties movie marathon. They were starting with _Robin Hood. _

“Okay,” Mary turned to Lily, half of her wild hair falling out of the loose bun at the sudden movement. “So I feel like we should touch base.” 

“Yeah?” Lily raised her brow. “About what?” 

“Don’t be dumb,” Mary shook her head. “I know you like James, but are you still freaking out a lot about getting married this weekend?” 

“Of course I am,” Lily nodded. “I talked to James a little bit the other day, but I don’t know.”

“Don’t say you don’t know, tell me what you didn’t tell him.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and nodded. “Okay, so I do like James, but I only just started dating him, right? And I know that this wedding doesn’t have to be official, and I’ve kind of gotten comfortable with it being only for the public. Like, we’ll be married, but it won’t change anything between us. We’ll still be getting to know one another and going on dates. That’s fine, I’ve weirdly come to terms with that. It’s not a deadline,” She smiled to herself and Mary poked her. 

“Look at you, coming to terms with things and making mental progress.” 

“Yes, I really am a marvel.” She agreed.

“So what’s got you freaking out then?” 

“I still don’t want to get married.” She said bluntly. “For all that it means. I don’t want to give into this sexist rule, I don’t want to carry on a tradition that I don’t believe in. But I don’t want to give up my crown more, and I know that. And so I know that I’m going to go through with the wedding, but then how do I… how do I claim to be a trailblazer type of feminist? Mia called me a champion for women! I can’t live up to that title while I’m agreeing to get married to appease the patriarchy!” 

“But you’re doing it so that you can destroy the patriarchy from the inside!” Mary sat up straighter and her scrunchy fell out of her hair. “I understand where you’re coming from, I do! But Lily, think of all the traditions you’re breaking with this marriage! You chose your husband, you chose to retain full authority over the crown! No woman has ever had full authority over the crown without her husband first having died! Gran only had authority because she was acting as a place holder for you after your dad died! When you become queen, you will be the authority of the land, and that has _never _happened before.” 

Lily nodded, because Mary did understand where she was coming from and why she was feeling this way. “I know. And I know that I am going to be so proud when they put that crown on my head, I just… I feel so defeated sometimes when I think about how little ground we’ve gained.”

Mary slumped a bit. “Yeah, I know. I get that. A lot, I get that.” She leaned back against the pillows and they watched Kevin Costner roll around on the wet beach, soaking his clothes and making the next few hours of his journey miserable in the sunless English countryside. “I’m so excited for you to change the world, Lily. I’m going to be right there beside you, cheering you on, but I don’t know how I’m going to change the world myself yet.” 

Lily grabbed Lily’s hand. “Whatever you decide, you’re going to be brilliant at it.” 

“Damn straight.” 

Lily and Mary were woken up by Amelia and Gwen far too early the next morning. 

“Did you two not hear? Lily doesn’t have to go to work today,” Mary said before pulling a pillow over her head. Lily, who was getting used to getting woken up, pushed herself up and picked up her phone. 

“We’re all driving into the city after breakfast, ma’am.” Amelia smiled. “And then you have your dress fitting!”

“Funny,” Lily shook her head, “Because Emma could have scheduled that at any time, and she chose my least favorite time of day.” 

“Yes, well, I think she didn’t want to be waiting around to leave later.” Gwen shrugged, emptying Lily’s hamper.

Lily should have been paying better attention to the planning of everything, she knew that, but she had just assumed that they would be going into the city tomorrow. Which was ridiculous of course, because tomorrow they would be having a fancy dinner with close friends and family, a rehearsal dinner of sorts.

“Right,” Lily nodded and then pulled the pillow off of Mary’s head. “Come on, I need you if I’m going to go and try on wedding dresses.” Two dresses. Emma said that she would get to choose from two. 

“Fine,” Mary said, complaining in tone only, which Lily appreciated slightly. “You good?” 

“I’m going to not think so much so that I can keep saying yes.” 

“She’ll be here tomorrow,” Mary said, “And I’m sure she’s going to be so excited to meet James and to see your dress.” 

Lily’s mum had spent _weeks_ helping Petunia hunt down the perfect dress. But yes, she might be excited to see Lily’s dress tomorrow, when she showed up the day before the wedding. 

“You could have asked her to come sooner.” Mary said quietly, Amelia and Gwen made themselves busy on the other side of the room. 

“I told her she could come sooner,” Lily said quietly. “Let’s just not talk about it. She’ll be here tomorrow, like you said.” 

“Okay, but are you going to talk to her?” 

Lily let out a humorless laugh, “No. She’d find a way to blame me for feeling like she’s abandoned me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Mary crawled over the bed and gave Lily a hug. “Let’s just go see what kind of beautiful gowns you get to try on today!” 

“Okay.” Lily nodded. “Maybe you’ll get to see your gown again, too!” 

“She’s a masterpiece. Reggie is going to shit himself.” Lily snorted. 

“Amazing. I’m so excited.” 

“Then let’s try and sound excited,” Mary tugged on her hair. “Your mother-in-law is going to be joining us today, and she’s not so well acquainted with your quirks and what not.” 

“Everyone knows what sarcasm is, Mary.” 

“Yes, but she’s very excited about this. Maybe some of that will rub off on you? She did almost make you cry the other day when she said she was excited to be getting a daughter.” 

Lily pressed her lips together. “Don’t bring that up. I haven’t slept all week so I’m quite emotional.” 

“You’re going to cry today, aren’t you?” 

“No,” Lily lied. 

“It’s okay, most women cry when trying on their wedding dresses. Or, you know, most women on tv. I’ve never gone to a dress fitting with a bride-to-be before. Did Petunia cry?”

“Like a whale. Or, like Dory speaking whale? You’ve erased the possibility of me crying now though, so thank you for that.” 

“Any time!”

James was waiting outside the dining room for her, and he kissed her good morning before they walked in, his hand in hers. She was surprised when Sirius patted her on the back while he walked around the table to sit next to Monty and Peter, but she tried to play it cool. Remus gave her a smirk though, so she must not have been playing it as cool as she had thought. 

“Morning, Remus, Peter,” She smiled at the two of them. “It’s good to see you again. I hope you got in alright.” 

“It was late,” Peter said, “But we got in just fine.” 

“And Sirius and James were waiting up for us, so it was a warm welcome.”

“That’s good,” Last night would be the last night for a while that anyone got any time to themselves or with their friends for a while. There would be lots of traveling, press and excitement for the rest of the weekend. “Hope you’re ready for some more traveling.” 

“Oh yes,” Remus nodded. “Emma made sure we were given itineraries.” 

Lily looked around the room to glare at Emma, who was seated at her gran’s side. “She never gives me itineraries.” 

It turned out that Anita was much more excited about the wedding than she’d been letting on, because for the duration of breakfast, it was all that she and Mia could talk about. 

At first, Lily had assumed that she was humoring Mia, because all the conversations that Lily and Anita had had about the wedding were tepid and calm, but Anita seemed as though she were glowing with excitement. The two older women sat next to one another and fawned over the pictures that Emma shared with them of decor and flowers and the reception location. 

Lily sat next to James, stunned into silence for most of the meal. James didn’t have too much to say about anything himself, but then his dad started a conversation about golf with the boys, and Lily was left to share pointed looks with Mary from across the table. 

“When is Reggie going to be here?” Lily asked. 

Mary frowned. “You know he can’t be here until tomorrow.”

Lily frowned. “He said that last week and he showed up on Thursday.”

Mary narrowed her eyes, “That’s a good point. I’m going to call him and tell him to meet us in the city if he has secret plans to show up early again.” 

“He’s not showing up early again,” Anita looked away from Emma’s phone to bring them terrible news. “He actually does have an exam or a presentation tonight at six. I called him yesterday to see if I could fly him in early. He’ll join us in the city tomorrow, though!” 

Lily nodded and Anita turned her attention back to Emma and Mia. 

Lily pulled out her phone. 

Lily to Mary-Doodle-Doo: You and Reggie aren’t my only friends, right?

Mary: No. Did you forget that we adopted Marlene? And you really like Dorcas and she’s about to be family!

Lily: It’s just a stupid dress fitting

Lily: It shouldn’t bother me that I don’t have people going with me

Mary: It can bother you if it bothers you

Mary: I’m going to invite Marlene

Lily: Don’t do that

Lily: It’s so last minute

Mary: Yeah, okay, but I asked her to come two days ago and she was so excited

Mary: Should I tell her not to come?

Lily: Shut up, Mary!

Lily: Did you really invite her?

Mary: Yes. I knew you were going to be like this, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra friends there. Or you know, an extra friend. Let’s not get crazy.

Lily: More than one would have been too many

Lily: Thanks for inviting her though

Lily: It makes me feel better, even if I don’t know why.

Mary: Making you feel better is what I’m here for

Mary: Like, it’s the reason I took a semester off school

Lily: You really are the best, aren’t you?

Mary: Obviously

James put a hand on her leg and Lily looked up to find Monty looking at her. “I’m so sorry,” She said, shoving her phone under her leg. “I was talking to Mary.” Sirius snorted and Lily sighed. 

“Don’t worry, Lily,” Monty smiled. “I was just wondering if you and Anita spend much time in the city?” 

“Oh?” He’d noticed that she was sitting silently at the table and looking at her lap, but at least he’d given her an easy question. “Not too much time. I do love the townhouse though. Right on the river, and in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. Much different from being all the way out here.” 

“You like the city?” Monty grinned. 

Lily shrugged. “I can find good things to say about wherever I am, but I wouldn’t trade the quiet and privacy of the countryside.” 

“Mia always liked living in the city,” He looked across the table at his wife, who he had entered into an arranged marriage with. Though you wouldn’t know by the way he looked at her. He loved her. James had told her that Monty said Mia was made of sunshine. “And living in the city is more conducive to her agenda. She told me that you agreed to let her organization use the summer castle.” 

“_A Seat at the Table, _is a great organization.” Lily smiled. “I don’t know how I didn’t know before the other day that she was one of the founding members.” 

Before she was ready, they were all getting into cars and headed off toward the city. Lily was glad that they weren’t taking a limo, and that the town cars didn’t really allow for everyone to ride together. She was also glad that Emma came up with the seating arrangement. Emma would ride with Mary and Anita, Monty, and Mia, Remus, Peter, and Sirius, and then James and Lily would have their own car. Sirius and Mary both winked at her, or maybe they were winking at James, but Lily couldn’t find it in her to blush or cuss them out or comply with whatever reaction they were looking to get from her. 

They all got into their respective cars with their luggage, which Lily had not packed for herself. It always made her nervous when other people packed for her, though so far, they had always been far better at it than she was. No forgotten toothbrushes or phone chargers. 

“Did you and Mary have a nice time last night?” 

Lily nodded, turning away from the window and the disappearing castle. She tried to ignore her racing heart as she took his hand and smiled, “We did. We watched _Robinhood _and _Big _and _Hook._”

“That is two and a half more movies than you and I have ever gotten through.” 

“Mary and I are very good at movie marathons. Though I’m sure you and I will get better.”

“The bar is pretty low. All we have to do to get better is not fall asleep for one movie.” 

“True,” His hair was a bit more puffed out than normal today. As usual, he appeared calm and collected, but he was a bit anxious about everything as well. This calmed her a bit and she squeezed his hand. He looked at her, his eyes slightly wider than normal. “Did you and Sirius have a nice night?” 

“You assume that we spent the night together?” He scoffed. 

“Yes,” She nodded. “Of course. Though I did ask Remus about it this morning as well.” 

“Right,” He nodded. “Sirius and I played chess until they got in.”

“Chess?” 

“And cards. Though it was mainly just practice for when Remus and Peter got in. Remus is surprisingly good at cards.” 

“Mary and I ate a bunch of sugar.” 

James laughed, “You would have done that by yourself.” 

“Sure. Arden did bring me back my chocolates.” 

“That’s good. Did he eat the coconut ones?” 

“No.” Lily leaned against his shoulder and looked out the window again. “What’s the big thought in your head right now?” 

“The big thought?” 

“Yeah, you know. The thing that keeps pushing itself to the front of your brain.” 

“How do you know-”

“Your hair is twice as large as it normally is.” 

James pressed his lips against the side of her head and nodded. “Fair. Sirius said it was getting dangerously tall.” 

“So what is it that you're nervous about?” 

“I don’t know,” He sighed, and his hand went back to his hair. “I guess I’m worried about what’s going to happen between now and Saturday. Barty seemed so sure that they were going to try something, and then Bertram seemed like he was throwing in the towel yesterday.” 

“Exchanging towels,” Lily corrected. “He made it sound like he was going to get a seat in parliament.” 

“Right,” He nodded. “Why would he just give up though? After everything?” He turned to face her, his brow high on his forehead. “Not that I need to be worrying about this, because I’m sure that Moody is going to handle everything and that comes up.”

“You don’t have to do that. Anything you say, I promise you I’ve already thought at least once, probably twice.”

“Right,” He slumped against the seat. “I’ll just be glad when this is over, and we can disappear into the mountains for a week.” 

“That will be nice,” Lily agreed. 

The plans for their honeymoon sounded too good to be true, but Lily was looking forward to it, which was another big change since last week. Then, spending a week alone with James might have sounded nice, but it had made her rather itchy and anxious. Now she couldn’t wait for all this too be over so she and James could have a few quiet moments to themselves. And if they had to get married in order for that to happen, then so be it.

They pulled into the city just after ten and all the boys got out, but the girls were going straight to the dress shop. “Pick what you want,” James said, leaning down so they were at eye level even as he stood on the curb. “Don’t listen to Emma.” 

She leaned up to kiss him quickly, before his mum was swotting him out of the way and climbing into the car with Lily. Lily hadn’t seen her approaching and was surprised. “This is so exciting!” She said. “I can’t wait to see which gown you’ve chosen!” 

Lily smiled, “I can’t wait to see it too!”

Mia laughed, “I forgot that you haven’t seen it yet either! I do wish that parliament would have allowed you more time to plan your wedding. It was unfair for them to give such a short deadline.” 

“It was very unfair,” Lily agreed. 

“Though it will still be special.” Mia reached over and patted the back of Lily’s hand. She cleared her throat and patted her hand again. “I hope it’s not overstepping for me to say this, but James did let me know that your mother is arriving tomorrow afternoon. I’m sorry that she can’t be here for this.” 

Lily shifted, folding her hands on her lap and she bit the tip of her tongue as she tried to think of something to say.

“I’m not saying this to make you uncomfortable. James just wanted me to know so that I wouldn’t accidentally say anything insensitive. But I couldn’t just pretend as though I didn’t know,” She took a deep breath and Lily glanced over at her. “I’m sorry that she’s not here. And your sister. I’m sorry that they couldn’t be here for you.”

Lily swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “I don’t think they knew how to handle all of this.” She had to look out the window as she spoke. “I’m not sure how to handle it all the time, but Gran wanted me to come stay with her during the summers and then I went to uni early and they didn’t know what to do with me. Gran and my father told mum that I would never be in this position, so it wasn’t something that she’d even thought about-”

“Lily,” Mia grabbed her hand again, perhaps that was another thing James got from her. “I’m sorry that they’re not here.” 

Because it didn’t matter why they weren’t here. Lily wanted her family, and they had chosen to be elsewhere and it hurt, even if she could explain their actions, even if she understood them. It still hurt. 

Lily squeezed Mia’s hand before pulling her hand back onto her lap. “Thank you for saying that. None of this is how I pictured it.” 

“I’m sure that it’s not.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

“Why did you agree to an arranged marriage?” 

Mia smiled at her. “I could give you the answer that I normally give people, which is that my family, for as long as we can trace back, have always entered into arranged marriages. But you don’t seem to be the type to like the, ‘that’s just the way things are’ argument. Rightly so, by the way.” She smiled at Lily. “To me, it was about more than politics and personal advancement, though I did gain quite a bit of notoriety when I married Monty. It wasn’t about bringing pride to my family, or security, or money, though many _many _people suggested that it was the later. 

Before I agreed to marry Monty, I knew him. We did not date or court even, but I knew his character, I knew his priorities, I knew what he wanted in life. I knew that he respected me and my very strong opinions and I knew that he’d make a good partner. And I wanted to be his partner. And so when he and his family made my family the offer, I accepted. There are many, many types of love, and the pressure that the world seems to put on romantic love has never made sense to me, it’s great when you find it, of course it is, but it’s no more important than other types of love. The love you have for your family or your friends, if all you had in life was romantic love, your life would not be very rich.” She took a deep breath and gave Lily a moment to think over everything she’d said. 

“Now, that’s not to say that it’s not at all important, because it is, if that’s what you want.”

“I understand,” Lily nodded. “Can I ask you something else?” 

Mia smiled at her, “Of course.” 

“I like your son very much,” She said carefully, looking at her hands. 

“Uh oh,” Mia raised her brows and Lily shook her head. 

“No, I just needed to say that first. Because this isn’t about him,” She clenched her hands into fists. How were they not at the dress shop already? “How do I reconcile marrying him? How do _you _reconcile me marrying him?”

Mia didn’t seem to need any further explanation, which Lily was fully prepared to give, because she sighed and leaned back against her seat. “I was wondering if you were thinking about this from that angle.” 

“I think about things from all the angles,” Lily let out a quiet laugh and shook her head. 

She smiled, “That’s hardly a bad thing, given the position you’re about to take.” She was quiet for a moment and then she turned toward Lily, “I understand where you’re coming from. The law is wrong and it’s made even more so because the body of people enforcing it, is made up entirely of men. If you were a man, they would not be telling you that you had to marry anyone before you took the throne.” 

“Yeah,” Lily deflated a bit. 

“Who’s going to change their minds, if not you?” Mia asked, which was the same argument she’d been having with herself, the same point that Mary and James and her gran had brought up, but it was certainly framed differently. “Who’s going to make sure that something like this never happens to another princess in this country? Who’s going to pave the way for women to enter our government at high ranking offices if you hand your crown over to Bertram? It’s not fair that all of this fell onto your shoulders, it’s not fair that these laws that hold us back have been overlooked for so long. What you're doing is selfless and brave and I am proud of you.”

Lily shook her head, “You and James are really good at those speeches.” She had to swallow another lump in her throat. 

“Well, he gets it from me,” She grinned and patted Lily’s hand again. Lily relaxed her fists and nodded. “It looks like we’re here.” Mia looked out the window as the car slowed down. 

“Thanks for talking,” Lily said. “And for coming to the fitting.” 

“Of course! I meant what I said at brunch on Sunday. I’m very excited to have you in the family.” Luckily, she stepped out of the car before Lily, so she had a chance to wipe her eyes discreetly. 

Lily to Prince Jimes: Your mum and I are definitely best friends now. 

James: Did you fix my name in your phone yet, or am I still not texting you?

Lily: It’s mostly fixed.

Lily: four of the letters or correct in the proper placement. 

Lily: Don’t leave me on read. 

Lily: :(

James: don’t be sad. I always cave when your sad

James: which is ridiculous because you refuse to call me by my proper name and you’re stealing my mother

Lily: Well, that’s just how things go I guess.

James: When and in what situations is this just how things go?

Lily: I don’t have time to explain, I’ve got wedding dresses to try on. 

James: Have fun! 

Lily: I will! Marlene is here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to review!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first things first. I don't know how many chapters are left. When I said that there were 36 chapters, that was an educated guess from a few weeks ago, but I almost always go over whatever I think. This chapter was somehow twice as long as it should have been, so I had to cut it down, which made it work better anyway, but still, all those other words are now in chapter 36. There will probably be 38 chapters when this is all over and done with, if there are more, I will cry, but I put 37 because I'm just not sure. I don't want to say 38 and then disappoint people if I actually can wrap everything up in 37 chapters. Maybe the last chapter will just be a bit longer, I don't know. I'm just not sure. Please be patient with me <3  
I hope you enjoy!

They walked through a group of reporters, all smiling while they refused to give comments or answer questions. Luckily, there were no nasty questions, nothing that made her upset or frustrated. Everyone just seemed excited. She locked eyes with Mia for a moment and her smile lifted. After their talk in the car, she was feeling much more confident about her choices and the wedding tomorrow.

It still didn’t feel completely right, but she no longer felt like she was doing something wrong either. It was a nice middle ground to be at.

Marlene was waiting in the show room of the dress shop when they walked in. She was wearing a dress that looks like something Mary would pick out, if Mary was a ballerina. It was pastel pink and looked to be made of nothing but tutus and lace. She had it paired with a cropped jean jacket and bright red lipstick. Her blonde curls were immaculate and pulled away from her face. Lily wondered if she found it as exhausting to always have to look so put together as Lily found it. 

“You’re here!” Marlene smiled hugely at Lily and ran up to her, throwing her arms around Lily’s neck. Lily laughed and hugged her tightly, half of her body getting enveloped in tool and lace.

“You’re here!” Lily pulled away smiling. “I’m so glad that you could make it.” 

“Of course! I love being included in things, and also I love being here for you! And also, also, I love dresses, so this is a triple win for me!”

“Wonderful!” Lily laughed. Marlene turned to greet Anita and Mia and Mary slid up next to Lily, linking their arms. 

“I got jealous.” Mary sighed. “I’m going to have to ask her to leave.” Lily pinched Mary’s arm. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

“Don’t like her more than me, alright?” 

“You’re so needy.” Lily shook her head. 

“Are you good? I was going to switch cars, but Mia was faster than me.” 

“She wanted to talk to me. James told her a bit about mum and Petunia. Then I asked her about arranged marriages and if I was doing the right thing. We had a good talk. She was really nice and I almost cried a lot, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to frighten her.” Mary laughed. 

“I’m glad she was nice to you, it’d be a shame if I had to beat up an older woman.” 

“Princess Lily?” Lily turned to see a flustered looking shopkeeper. 

“Yes, hullo,” Lily walked up to her and shook her hand. 

“My name is Rosalie Malkin. Thank you so much for choosing my dress shop to supply your wedding gown.” 

“Of course,” Lily smiled at her. “I love supporting small businesses and I’ve always been a fan of your work. The dress you made that I wore to my eighteenth birthday was one of very favorites, and I’m so excited to see what you’ve created for me this time!” 

“Thank you so much, princess, I appreciate that. A lot.” Rosalie Malkin waved them further into her shop, to a backroom that was probably more decorated than it normally was. If that was Rosalie or Emma’s doing, Lily wasn’t sure. 

Emma walked into the room after they’d all been seated and greeted Rosalie before she started ordering everyone about. She didn’t seem too happy to see Marlene, but that was probably because she hadn’t been aware that Marlene was coming, and Emma hated surprises. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and bring out the first dress, Rosa,” Emma said once she had everyone where she wanted them. “Mary, I thought you agreed to take pictures?” 

“I did agree, and I’m going to take pictures.” Mary nodded, holding up her phone. Emma had a vein in her neck that only appeared when she was extremely stressed, and Lily could see it peeking out. 

“You didn’t bring a different camera?” 

“I don’t know how to use a fancy camera and my phone takes good pictures.” 

Emma clenched her hands and turned to Lily. “I didn’t ask a photographer to come because I didn’t think you would have-”

“Emma, Mary’s phone will do just fine,” Lily interrupted. “And you’re right, I wouldn’t have wanted a photographer here.” 

“Alright,” She took a breath through her nose and nodded. “Alright, then let’s get this show on the road!” She had a lot to do in the next two days, so Lily wasn’t going to give her a hard time. Well, she wouldn’t give her a hard time just now. She shouldn’t rule it out entirely, as she quite enjoyed giving Emma a hard time every now and then.

Rosalie came back into the room with a large white gown draped over her arm and nodded her head toward a curtained room off to the side. “I’ll help you into the gown, yes?” Lily smiled at her and then at everyone in the room.

“Alright, let’s see what kind of magic Rosa did this time,”

Anita clapped her hands and started telling the girls about when they’d come here for Lily’s eighteenth birthday dress.

Lily walked out from behind the curtain a few moments later, buttoned and tied into one of the most exquisite gowns she had ever seen. Everything from the lace to the beadwork had all been done by hand, it was heavy, but not uncomfortable, and when she walked into the room, her guests gasped. Honestly to goodness made audible gasps. Lily widened her eyes and laughed.

“You like it then?” She grasped the sides and swished it around a bit. She found Mary’s eyes, since she would most likely be the most honest in the room, but found her friend in awe of the dress too. “It is something, isn’t it?” Lily asked, smiling down at the bell of the gown.

She stepped in front of the mirror and paused. 

Her reaction wasn’t the same as the others, it did take a second for her to adjust. She had thought that trying on the wedding gowns would be like trying on ball gowns. She thought that it would be fun, that they would be beautiful and make her feel like a princess. So far, it had been fun and she’d felt like a princess. Well she’d had that nostalgic feeling that she got whenever she did something storybook princess-like. It felt a bit like magic, a bit like stepping into one of those storybooks that she’d loved so much as a kid.

The gown was beautiful, exquisite really, but she didn’t feel like a princess. 

This gown was ridiculously expensive, and she would never have been able to afford it if she wasn’t a princess, but when she looked in the mirror, she looked like a bride above everything else. 

“Oh, Lily,” Anita stood up from her chair and walked over to Lily, taking her hands. Lily couldn’t look away from the mirror. That was her in that dress. She was looking back at herself wearing a beautiful white gown. “You look absolutely beautiful, my dove.” 

Lily took a deep breath and blinked, looking over at her gran and trying to clear her head. “Thank you, but I don’t think I want to wear this one.” She turned back to Rosalie. “Can I try on the other dress?” 

Everyone paused for a moment and Lily tried to smile at them.

Rosaline looked around at the rest of them and then nodded, her eyes wide. “Of course! Do you not like this dress?” 

Lily glanced back at the mirror before she started back toward the dressing room. “I like it very much, I just want to see the other dress,” She gave Rosalie a small smile and then stepped behind the curtain. 

The second dress was just as beautiful as the first. Maybe even more so because the back of this dress had a dip to it, and capped sleeves, two details that Lily always imagined when she thought about what her wedding dress would look like. 

She felt like crying, and if she did, she didn’t know how those around her would react. Mary would know that it wasn’t because she felt beautiful in the dress, Anita might know, Rosalie might think that she hated the dresses. 

“Yes, I think this one is perfect,” She said quietly, turned away from the mirror. Marlene clapped and rushed up to her, kissing her on the cheek, getting her red lipstick all over her. Lily laughed and Mary came up and tried to use her own spit to get the mark off Lily.

“It is perfect,” Marlene said quietly and then gave her a meaningful look. Everyone else praised the dress as well, showering both Lily and Rosa with compliments. Emma brought Lily a small moist cloth to clean her face.

She tried to get everyone out of the shop quickly after that. It didn’t work very well, Mia and Emma and Anita all wanted to look at everything in the store, and Rosalie was more than happy to facilitate an extra sale or two. 

Mary and Marlene came up on either side of Lily and linked arms with her. 

“You know, there’s a pub two shops down.” Marlene whispered. “If we time it right, we can slip out without them noticing.” 

Lily desperately wished that they could slip out unnoticed and get slashed in the pub. But even standing in the back of the front room, behind shelves and displays, she could see the flashing of the cameras and here the reporters yelling at her and Anita. 

“We’d have to go out the back,” Mary said, peeking back through the curtain that they’d just walked through. “Find somewhere with a private room. Otherwise they would find us too quickly.”

“We can just wait till we’re back at the flat. I’m sure there’s alcohol. I can text Sirius, just to make sure.” Marlene pulled out her phone without unlinking her arm. 

“No, don’t text him. I don’t want him to think that I’m upset.” 

“But you are upset.” Mary countered. 

“Yes, and alcohol will help with that.” 

Lily frowned. “I don’t want James to- I just don’t want to seem ungrateful I guess. Or like I’m pouting. I feel like I’m pouting.” 

“Girl,” Marlene tilted her head. “Sweet child, you can pout all you want if pouting is mourning the loss of your right to fall in love and get married on your own terms.” 

“Agreed. Did you text Sirius?” Mary asked. 

“Yes,” Marlene nodded. 

They made it back to the flat and Emma had James and Lily sit down to do three different phone interviews and then they prerecorded a video message that they were going to send out the morning of their wedding, thanking the people for their support. Lily had to get all dolled up for that, so by the time they were done with everything, it was as though she had worked a full day.

She scrubbed her face clean and chose to skip dinner and find the entertainment room. 

It was empty, but she knew that it wouldn’t be long before someone found her. She pulled out her phone and called her mum before she could change her mind. 

It rung three times, and Lily was sure that it was going to go to voicemail, but then David’s voice answered. “Lily? Are you alright?” Lily pressed her lips together and pulled her legs up into the chair she’d fallen onto. 

“Yes, I’m alright.” She bit the tip of her tongue. “Do you think I could talk to my mum for a minute?” 

She heard him grunt, probably standing up from the couch where he was watching the evening news. “I think she’s still on the landline with her cousin, but I’ll check.” 

She waited a second but then blurted out, “What time is your flight tomorrow?” 

“Two thirty I believe? Should put us in Gryffindor before dinner time.”

“You’ll come to the dinner then?” 

He sighed and she could picture him rubbing his hand along his jaw. “I think we should be able to. Just depends what your mother wants to do- Rose! You’ve been talking to Clarise for almost an hour now, Lily’s on the phone.” She couldn’t make out what her mother was saying. “Yes, Lily. She wants to talk to you- Lily? She’s saying goodbye to Clarise. All her cousins want all the details about your wedding,” He chuckled. 

“I’m sure,” Her mum would have more to share if she’d bothered to ask Lily anything. 

“Alright, here she is, it was nice chatting. I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

“Bye, Dave!” And then there was shuffling while the phone was being handed over. 

“Lily? Is everything alright?” 

Lily didn’t say anything for a moment, just sunk into the chair and chewed on her cheek.

“I’m getting married, mum.” Lily said, wishing she could curl into her mum’s side like she used to when she was younger. Like she had when she found out that she was the princess and that she would have to take over for her gran one day. Her mum had been so supportive then. 

“I know!” Rose said, and Lily heard the screen door close, which meant that she’d taken the call to the back porch, away from David. Lily knew this meant that her mum felt guilty. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew. “I know you are, Lily!” She was doing her best to sound excited, but Lily could hear the uncertainty.

“Mum,” Lily bit her lip for a moment and then she stopped trying to hold back her frustration and disappointment and the stupid fucking tears. “Mum, why aren’t you here?” It came out a bit more blubbery than she’d hoped, but it was out there and she felt a weight lifted from her shoulders.

“Oh, Lily,” Rose’s voice got quiet. 

“I know that I didn’t ask you to come up early, but why didn’t you? Why aren’t you here?” Lily wiped at her cheeks. “I tried on wedding dresses today! I’ve met James’ family, his parents came in on Sunday, but you’re not coming until tomorrow evening and you told me not to be upset with Petunia even though she’s not even going to come at all!”

“I didn’t want to get in the way of everything, Lily! Everyone likes you so much over there, and I’m not all that popular.” 

“What?” Lily shook her head. “What does that matter? You’re my mum and I’ve needed you to be here-”

“You have Mary with you! And your gran! If you needed me, you should have just said so, you know that I’d be out there in a heartbeat-”

“When Petunia got married you didn’t wait for her to ask you to show up! You were there with her every step of the way! Mum, this is all new and scary for me and you haven’t asked me about any of it! You haven’t called or texted- and I know that part of that is on me too, but every time I think about calling you I get worried that if we talk, you’ll tell me that you’re not going to come to the wedding either.” 

“Lily,” She sighed. “I know. I know that I’ve not been handling things the best these last… well these last couple years, but of course I’m going to be there.” 

“But you haven’t been here.”

“I know,”

They were quiet, but Lily wasn’t going to break the silence. 

“I wasn’t sure how you wanted to be supported in all of this, because the choice to get an arranged marriage seems so unlike you- I didn’t want to say anything that would upset you, so I tried not to say anything. But you’re right, I should have shown up. I can’t believe I missed watching you try on your dress.” 

Lily still didn’t want to say anything just yet. 

She didn’t hear anyone walk in the room, but suddenly Mary was climbing into the chair with her and giving her a hug from behind. “I can’t believe it either,” Lily said quietly. 

“I’m so sorry, my love,” Rose’s voice cracked, and Lily bit her lip. “He’s a nice boy, right? He’s good to you?” 

Lily clenched her jaw. “Are you actually curious or do you just want to have something to tell your cousins?”

Rose sighed. “I want to know.”

“James is wonderful.” She said, grabbing Mary’s hand. “Not as great as Mary, though.” Mary squeezed her hand. 

“Mary is one in a million.” 

“One in a billion.” 

“I’m very glad that you have a friend like her, Lily.” Rose took a deep breath. “I’m going to do better. I’m going to come early for your coronation, and we can have a nice proper row about things, and you can shout at me all you like. Like you used to when you were little.” 

“I’m getting very good at properly shouting at people now,” Lily said, the corner of her mouth tugging upward. She wasn’t sure if she believed her mum just yet, but she was excited at the concept her being here without having to turn around and leave almost immediately afterward. 

“Well, I’ll risk it anyway. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Lily. I love you to the moon, you know that, right?” 

Lily wiped at her cheek again and nodded. “I know. I love you too.” 

“I’m sorry that your sister isn’t coming. I know I told you not to be upset with her, but I did try and talk her out of going on her trip, things are just more complicated with her and Vernon than it appears. I didn’t mean to make you think I was taking her side, I just want the two of you to get along. You’ve always butted heads.” 

“I know,” Lily nodded again, knowing that her mum couldn’t see her. “And we did get along while she was here. I just had to steer clear of Vernon. I don’t know why he hates me.” 

“I think he’s just jealous,” Rose laughed, and Lily could tell that she’d been crying too. 

“I didn’t mean to shout at you, mum. That’s not why I called.” 

“It’s alright. Did it make you feel better?” 

Lily laughed, wiping at her cheeks again, “It did actually.” 

“Then I’m glad you did.” 

“Alright, well, I’ll let you go. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“I’ll call you as soon as we land,” Rose agreed. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She hung up and then spun around so she could look at her friend. 

“Look at you being an adult and talking out your issues.” 

“Is that what that was?” 

“Yes,” 

“Amazing. I should do it more often.” Mary laughed and poked Lily. 

“That’s what I’ve been telling you for weeks now.” Mary shook her head. “Can I call David, ‘Mr. Woodcock?’”

Lily closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. “That’s his name, Mary.”

“I know, but can I call him that? Or should I call him Dave?” 

“I call him Dave, so I think you should too.” 

“Do people normally call their step-fathers by their first name?” 

“I don’t know what people normally do, but I call him Dave. So how about you don’t call him, ‘Mr. Woodcock,’ and make things weird for everyone?” 

“But I really love making things weird for everyone!”

“Is it safe to come in now?” Sirius called from the hallway. She heard a grunt, and someone mutter his name and she laughed. 

“Yes, come on in!” 

“I told you all not to loiter in the hallway!” Mary shouted. 

“We weren’t loitering,” Marlene walked in first. “We went for snakes and vodka, and then we came back.” 

“We were kind of loitering,” Remus muttered, walking in with a package of Oreos and a quart of ice cream. 

“And now, you’re my new best friend.” Lily said, pushing out of the chair and taking the desserts from Remus, who laughed. 

“James told me how you’d been stealing all of us one by one.” 

“I get chucked aside for Oreos and ice cream?” Mary raised a brow. 

“No, love, I’m getting chucked aside for Oreos and ice cream.” Sirius fell back onto a chair dramatically. 

Mary laughed, “Right, okay.” 

“Lily said I was her best friend,” Sirius shrugged a shoulder. “Don’t shoot the messenger.” 

“Now you’ve ruined what we had,” Lily sighed, leaning against the wall as she peeled the oreos open and stuffed on in her mouth. James walked into the room with Peter, they both had large bowls of popcorn. 

“Which movie did we decide on?” Peter asked, walking up to turn on the television. 

“Did we decide on a movie?” Mary asked, still glaring at Sirius. “Because Lily and I were in here telling each other how much we love each other.” 

Sirius winked at her, “We agreed on Star Wars actually.” 

“_Rogue One _to be specific. We decided that we’re in the mood to watch everyone die.” Marlene interjected, walking over to Lily and nabbing a cookie from her before she got comfortable on one of the couches next to Remus. Sirius sat on her other side and pretended that he couldn’t feel the daggers Mary was still sending his way. 

Lily watched the lot of them, half of whom she didn’t know all that well, and smiled. Something about having this group of people all in the same room together was very comforting. 

James waved her over to the couch he’d claimed, Mary had already moved from the chair to the couch. Lily pushed off the wall and went to join them. 

“Did you tell him that he was your best friend?” Mary asked. 

“Yes,” Lily nodded. “But I also told James that his mum was my best friend. It was more to annoy him than it was to annoy you, I promise.” 

Mary looked at James and then back at Lily. “I suppose I can appreciate that.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I guess. So long as you don’t mean it.” She reached into the bowl of popcorn that James was holding. “I mean, Sirius is awful.” 

“He’s not that bad.” Lilyl shrugged. “I mean, once he started saying nice things to me.” 

“You’re very easy to butter up, you know that?” James gave her a sidelong glance and then turned toward Remus who was telling a story about their flight. 

“It’s true,” Mary agreed. Peter got the movie started and then joined the other couch, sitting right in the middle, nearly on top of Sirius. He spilled some of the popcorn on Marlene and Lily smiled as she watched them laugh. 

She leaned against James’ shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. She felt a bit disconnected from what was going on around her, but it still made her feel better than she had in the dress shop or while she’d been talking to her mum. 

James started playing with her hair, and she was not even a little surprised when she fell asleep on his shoulder about fifteen minutes into the movie. 

Mary woke her up as the movie ended and handed her a shot of vodka. Lily, who had been woken up by Mary like this before, rubbed her eyes with one hand and knocked back the shot with the other. 

She heard Sirius laugh at her and looked at him once she could keep her eyes open. “Sorry,” He said, shaking his head. “I keep forgetting that you weren’t always a princess.” 

Lily cleared her throat. “You’ve clearly never partied with other princesses before,” 

Marlene laughed loudly. “That is true! Do you remember a few years ago when Princess Tabitha tried to jump off the stair railing onto the chandelier?” 

“She had to!” Mary shouted, handing Lily another drink. “That stuck up priss from Ravenclaw was giving her shit about how she- well actually I don’t remember what she was giving her shit about, but she couldn’t not do it!” It seemed like Mary was more than one shot deep. She must have been sleeping hard. 

She looked over at James, who was smiling at her. “What?” 

“You snore.” 

“So?” She took a drink. 

“And you woke up drinking.” 

“If Mary hands me something, I drink it.” She shrugged. “What about you? Do you need a drink?” 

He pulled his hand up and there was a drink in it. “Sirius is good at handing out drinks as well.” 

“We have great friends,” Lily stretched her arms over her head and let out a yawn. She looked at him. “You didn’t get to have a stag party, did you?” 

“No, but that’s not very proper, is it?” 

“I don’t care about that, I got to have my birthday party, which isn’t exactly the same but I think it counts.” She took another drink and leaned back against the couch. “We need to have a party for you!” 

“I’ll claim tomorrow's party,” 

“The dinner?” Lily shook her head. “That’s going to be dull!” She covered her mouth and James laughed at her. “I didn’t mean dull,” She sighed, “I just meant that it’s not going to be super fun, like surfing down a giant slide.” 

“That was fun, but I got to go to that party.” 

“Yes, but your best mates weren’t there.” Lily looked over at his friends, who were looking for another movie.

“I can have fun without them.” James shrugged. “They’re mainly just pains in the arse.” 

Lily clicked her tongue, “You see, this is why it’s so easy for me to steal them away from you.” 

“Probably,” Remus spoke up, glancing over at her. She laughed and James shook his head. 

“You all know what shites you are.” 

“Maybe you’re the shite,” Peter said, tossing one of the couch cushions at him. James caught it, and wiped it back at him. 

“Probably,” Remus muttered again. Sirius laughed loudly and Lily smiled at James. 

“You did make it very easy for me.” James laughed and then cupped her cheek and kissed her, which surprised her a little, because he hadn’t kissed her in front of people before. His mum had interrupted a kiss earlier, but she hadn’t seen them kissing. This was very public and Lily was quite sure that her cheeks were a bit red when he pulled back. 

He brushed his thumb over the color and grinned at her. “What’s that about?” 

“There are other people in the room.” She shrugged. “You didn’t even want to hold my hand in front of your parents the other day-”

“Lily that was practically a week ago,” James shook his head and looked off to the side, like she had when he’d brought up how differently she was acting compared to last week. She laughed and leaned forward to kiss him again. 

“You two,” Sirius snapped at them. “Stop that.” 

“Yeah,” Marlene was making a face, “I mean, you’re cute and all, but stop.”

“I don’t mind,” Mary tapped her fingers together. “I’ve been trying to get them to snog since he got here, so leave them be!” She linked arms with Marlene and pulled her backwards onto the couch. 

Lily shook her head and finished her drink. 

“Let’s just start the next movie,” Sirius waved his hand. “Don’t make me come and sit in between you two,” He eyed them both and then took a seat next to Mary, making to throw his arm around her, but she stood up and sat on the other side of Marlene. Marlene leaned and patted Sirius’s cheek which would have been consoling if she hadn’t been smiling so widely. 

“Your boyfriend asked me to hit on you, Mary,” Sirius sighed. “You shouldn’t be making it so difficult for me.” 

“He did not ask you-” Remus tried to interrupted. 

“Yes he did! You weren’t here, Remus. James, tell him!” 

“He was only joking!” Mary shook her head. 

Lily tucked herself against James' side and let contentment wash over her. 

“How did the dress fitting go.” 

“Well, my dress is beautiful. I wouldn’t have found something more perfect if I’d actually been involved in any of it.” 

“Mary said-”

“Okay, it wasn’t all great.” Lily shuffled closer and pulled her legs up. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “It felt weird. Kind of like when you proposed.”

“You felt weird when I proposed?” 

“Yes, like it could have been real if a few things had gone over differently.”

“That word again.” James tutted. 

“Yes, I know, it is all real, but you know what I mean. The wedding is a show though, it’s for the public, and when I put my dress on, it didn’t feel like it was for a show. And my mum wasn’t there and your mum made me cry and then the stupid dress made me cry-”

“Mum made you cry?” 

“In a nice way. She told me she was proud of me and whatever,” Lily shrugged. 

“Whatever, got it.” James shook his head. “I’m sorry your mum isn’t here.” 

“It’s alright. I called her and things are… better? Maybe? We’ll see tomorrow.”

“Yes, we sort of walked in on you calling her. Mary stopped us though. We didn’t hear anything.” 

Lily shrugged. “I just wish things were easier between the two of us. The three of us? Petunia has always been hard, but mum and I never had trouble getting along until I accepted the crown.” She shook her head. “Which is a ridiculous sentence, and I understand why she has a hard time with it- _I _have a hard time with it and I agreed to it.”

James kissed her temple and pulled her closer. “I hope it goes smoothly tomorrow.” 

Lily laughed, “Why would it not go smoothly? It’s only going to be all our close friends and family plus whoever Emma and my gran invited.” 

James chuckled and shook his head. “At least there are no cameras allowed in the church.” 

“At least,” Lily agreed. “Though all of parliament will be there, and I might like to trade if I’m being honest.” 

“Camera in and parliament waiting out on the street?” 

Lily nodded. “I’ve taken to being less anxious around the cameras lately. Well, less anxious than I am around parliament anyway.” 


	36. Chapter 36

Lily’s mum got to the townhouse the next day around three thirty, having decided to go straight there from the airport, instead of going to the hotel first. Lily hadn’t expected her mum to actually show up, but when Gwen told her that she was in the foyer, Lily’s heart jumped into her throat and she ran out of the room before Emma or her gran could say anything. They had been going over the technicalities of the wedding, but Lily hadn’t been paying attention anyway and if she left her mum waiting then she might not think that Lily actually did want her here. 

“Mum?” Lily called out when she reached the landing on the stairs. Rose turned around and gave Lily a big, yet cautious smile. Lily hopped down the rest of the stairs, throwing her arms around her mum’s neck and breathing in the all too familiar scent of her apple blossom shampoo. 

“Oh, my girl,” Rose muttered, holding the back of Lily’s head like she’d been doing since Lily was small and unimportant to most of the world. “It’s so good to see you. It’s been too long and I’m so sorry for that.” 

Lily didn’t say anything, she just held her mum closer. It didn’t matter in this moment that her mum hadn’t been here for the last few weeks. Being wrapped up in her arms, pressed against her chest, would always be comforting. David came up to stand beside them and patted Lily on the back. “It’s good to see you, Lily Jane,” 

Lily pulled back a bit, keeping one arm around her mum and smiled at him. “Good to see you too, Dave.” He let his hand fall down her arm and then looked around the house. The view from the foyer was quite grand. With a massive grandfather clock to their left, a giant chandelier over their heads, the staircase that would take up to the next four levels of the house and artwork covering any large expanse of wall, it was clear that the house was expensive. Unlike his son-in-law, David wasn’t all that impressed with wealth of this variety. 

“Is that a Murakami?” He asked, and Lily looked over her shoulder to view the piece of art he was looking at. 

“Oh yes, Mary and gran went to an art show in Japan a couple years ago and that was their favorite piece of the day.” 

“They have good taste,” David nodded. 

“Well come on,” Lily stepped toward the stairs, “I’ll show you two to your room and then I’ll introduce you to everyone before we have to get ready for the dinner.” 

Once all their bags had been put in the room, and she was sure that they had everything they would need for the next couple of days, she led them toward the family room where she knew everyone else would be waiting. When she pushed open the door, everyone but gran, James and Mary pretended to be immersed in what they were doing. Sirius was playing chess with Monty, Mia was sitting with Marlene, Remus and Peter, drinking their tea and looking over a newspaper. 

It was less overwhelming this way and Lily appreciated that they didn’t crowd her already nervous mother. 

“Rose, David, how nice to see you both,” Anita walked up and kissed Rose’s cheeks, and shook David’s hand. 

“Hey, Mama Rose,” Mary said, giving her a quick hug. “Hope the snow is not keeping you too busy this winter, Mr. Woodcock,” Mary shook his hand too. Lily refused to make eye contact with her. 

“It’s a bit more than we normally get, but the snowblower Vernon got me last year is holding up quite nicely.” Mary smiled even though Lily knew she wasn’t interested at all and then she took a deep breath and grabbed James hand. 

“Mum, Dave, this is James Potter. James, this is my mum, Rose, and her husband, David.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” James said, shaking her mum’s hand first and then David’s. 

“It’s so nice to meet you as well, James.” Rose smiled at him, glancing at Lily as she spoke. “Or Lord James? I was never versed on when to use titles.” She shook her head. 

“James, of course. We’re family after tomorrow.” He smiled, running his hand through his hair quickly. Monty and Mia had walked up behind them now. “These are my parents, Monty and Mia,” 

“It is so nice to meet you,” Mia smiled widely at both of them and shook their hands enthusiastically. “Lily is so wonderful and it’s so nice to meet the strong woman who raised her!” 

“Oh,” Rose’s eyes widened. “Well thank you so much, my daughter sure is something special.” 

It was slightly uncomfortable for Lily to watch this all unfold, but then Mia invited Rose and David over to the couch for tea and Gwen and Amelia appeared at the door. “They’re in good hands,” James reassured her. “Go and get ready.” 

Lily nodded and turned to Mary. “Will you bring her back in about thirty minutes?” 

“Of course!” 

“Thanks,” And then she quietly bowed out of the room and disappeared with her maids. 

Back in her rooms, she was greeted by a professional hair stylist, which was unusual, Gwen normally did her hair. She glanced at Gwen and she shrugged, “I’m sure Emma just wanted to make sure that everything is a bit extra fancy this weekend.” 

Lily agreed, and sat down in front of the mirror. Then she got her hair pulled for the following twenty-three minutes. It looked nice, but she thought Gwen could have done just as well without hurting her. 

Mary, Marlene and her mum came in shortly after. Though Mary and Marlene didn’t stay because they had to go and get ready themselves. Rose looked around Lily’s room, looking out of place and uncomfortable. The hairdresser packed up and left, and after they laid out Lily’s things, Gwen and Amelia left the room too. 

Rose’s shoulders dropped after they were the only two in the room. 

“You’re so lovely,” Rose said, walking over and leaning against the vanity that Lily sat in front of. “So beautiful. You always have been.” 

“Thank you,” Lily smiled. 

“It seems so easy for you to make friends and fit in here,” She looked around the room again. “You look like you belong here.” Lily bit the tip of her tongue and didn’t say anything else. “I didn’t fit in. He loved Petunia and he was so excited about you, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay here.”

Lily blinked. She knew of course, that her mum and dad had been together at one point, otherwise she wouldn’t exist. But she couldn’t picture it. She had never heard how they met, or how long they’d been together or any details. Rose never talked about him. And he had never talked to Lily. 

“What happened?” Lily asked quietly. 

Rose shrugged, tucking her hair back and looking at her feet. “What always happens I suppose. I got scared, I felt trapped and I told him that I had to leave. I had to go back home.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “He understood. I mean, your gran didn’t- she’s wonderful and she’s been so supportive of you, but she and I didn’t get along very well.” Lily did know that. “Seeing you thrive here,” Rose stepped forward and tucked a strand of hair away from Lily’s face. “It makes me feel like I didn’t do right by you. I should have insisted that you visit, that you stayed with him and your gran and got to know this part of you while he was still around to introduce you to everything.” 

Lily, who overthought everything, had never once thought that she should have been properly introduced to being a princess at a younger age. She shook her head, “No,” 

“No?” 

“No, of course not,” Lily shook her head again and stood up. “Are you kidding? My entire life would have been different if I’d known that I was a princess for my whole life. What if I hadn’t met Mary because I’d been prancing around here in a tiara instead of down by the pier with Dave’s old fishing pole?” 

Rose gave her a small smile, “You mean that?” 

“I don’t regret how I grew up,” Lily narrowed her brow. “Of course I don’t.” 

“You never wish that you could have been here too though? With your dad?” 

Lily bit her tongue and let out a sharp breath. “I don’t know. He could have put in an effort, that would have been nice, but I had a great childhood and I’m glad things were how they were.” 

Rose looked near tears, which didn’t surprise Lily, because Lily had been near tears for about a week not and she had to get it from someone. “I’m glad to hear that.” She pulled Lily in for a hug. “I keep worrying that I’m doing everything wrong when it comes to you. None of this was in the parenting handbooks I read!” She laughed and Lily smiled. 

“No books on how to raise a secret princess?” 

“Not even one, can you believe it?” 

“I can’t, really. It’s an injustice.” She squeezed her tighter. “I think you did good, mum. And I know you’re not comfortable here, which is why I’m always waiting for you to volunteer to come in instead of inviting you. But I guess that makes you think that I don’t want you here, and that’s not true.” 

Rose pulled back. “No one knew who I was until you became the princess. Then everyone was too interested in me and not for nice reasons- but you and your gran are good at avoiding the press. I can get over my unease. In fact, I’ve just decided that I’m over it!” She brightened and Lily laughed. 

“I had no idea that it was that easy!” 

“Oh yes,” She took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s talk about James now.” 

Lily pressed her lips together and sat back down, her mum took a seat as well, pulling over a small stool. “You said that he was a good man, but tell me about him for real.” 

Lily started wringing her fingers. She’d wanted her mum interested, but now she felt a bit put on the spot. “He’s been a godsend through all of this. He’s good at dealing with the press, and I think that I’ve learned a lot from him in the last month. He’s made me less anxious about them at any rate. And he sneaks me sweets in his pockets, since my gowns never have any. It’s their one flaw.” Rose pinched her arm and Lily chuckled. “He makes fun of me for pinching him too.” 

Rose laughed, “Well, it’s effective!” 

“That’s what I said!” She tucked her hair back, “He’s just as competitive as I am. His dad beat him at chess the other day and he refused to speak to him for the rest of the afternoon. He keeps beating me at badminton and I can’t stand it. Though they weren’t even fair games since I was very distracted the last time we played and reporters somehow made it to the back gate and started shouting at me during the first game. The second one… well I’m sure I have some excuse for that one too.” Rose laughed at her and Lily smiled. “He’s a good partner for me. He wants to see changes made to this country that I want to see. He is kind and loyal and a sarcastic prat and really sweet,” 

“You fancy him, don’t you?” 

“Oh yes,” Lily nodded quickly, and Rose laughed again. “I tried not to, but I don’t know, maybe it’s the hair.” 

“He does have nice hair.” Rose agreed. “Are you ready to marry him?” 

“No.” Lily shook her head. “But the wedding isn’t for us.” She sat up straighter. “The wedding is to appease the law and to show the country that I’m willing to do what it takes to be queen. It will do that and then, if we want to, we can get married for real in a couple years or something.” She shrugged, not wanting to think about what else could happen in a couple years. How maybe fancying him was fleeting, and once they settled into a routine, she wouldn’t feel this way toward him anymore. She couldn’t assume their future was going to be sunshine and daisies after only knowing him for three weeks. 

Rose nodded. “I’m glad that you’ve been able to sort it all out.” 

Lily looked down. “Rationally, I have been able to, yes. But when I put my gown on today…” She looked back up at her mum. “It felt more real than I was prepared for.” Rose took her hand. “And James doesn’t like it when I say that. When I tell him that it’s not real.”

“He’s been preparing for an arranged marriage his whole life.” 

“Yes,” Lily nodded. “And I know that it is _real_ in the eyes of the law, and maybe God, and in history too! I mean I know that marriage, for the majority of history-”

“It won’t be because you two love each other.” Rose interrupted her. “I understand. I’ve been married three times.” Lily snorted. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get it right the first time.” 

“I don’t think I’m even allowed to divorce him.” Lily tried to think of any laws she knew of that would allow it. 

“That’s a bit archaic. I’m glad that wasn’t the case when I was married to your father.” Rose clapped her hands together. “We should probably get dressed now.” 

“Probably.” Lily agreed. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it then.” She kissed Lily’s cheek. “I love you, flower.” 

“I love you too, mum.” 

Her gown was a dusty rose color, in a gradient. The color being more saturated at the bust and more pastel at the base. It wasn’t her usual puffy, princess style gown either. When Lily looked in the mirror, she looked much more grown up than she normally did. She finally thought that she looked old enough to be getting married. 

And that was good, because she didn’t think she looked like herself, which meant she was back to playing a part instead of almost crying at the sight of herself in a wedding dress. 

She also just felt much better after speaking with her mum. 

She heard her phone buzz and picked it up. She smiled when she saw she’s gotten a snapchat from Reggie, which meant that he’d made it in time to enter the dinner with Mary, which Lily knew she’d been worried about earlier, even if she hadn’t said anything. When she opened it, she was surprised to see that it was a picture of him and Sirius. Mary must have still been getting ready, and maybe Sirius was playing nice? 

She shook her head and then stuck her tongue out to send him a picture back. 

James knocked on her door a few minutes later. “Ready?” He called out before Lily could reach the door and pull it open. 

When they were standing in front of one another, they both just took a minute to take in the other’s appearance. James, as always, looked sharp dressed in his tux. “I think I’m ready,” Lily nodded, reaching out and touching the pocket square that matched her dress. 

“They made us a pair again,” James caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. 

“We are a pair,” Lily grinned. She kept waiting for the nerves to set in when she looked at him, like they had only a week or two ago. She hadn’t thought it was possible for things to change as fast as they had, but no matter what she was thinking now, she didn’t want to run away from James, she wanted him there next to her, to help her figure her way through things. 

He smiled softly. “We are,” He agreed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Good,” She nodded, lacing her fingers through his and stepping closer to him. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I’m going to be distracted by my beautiful fiancé for the rest of the night. I don’t need to do much talking right?” 

Lily laughed and shook her head. “We don’t have to do anything but eat and look merry I think.” 

“How lucky, seeing as how you almost always look merry when surrounded by good food.” 

Lily raised her brows, “That’s true! Food has always been a source of comfort. No matter where I am or who hates me at any given moment, it always tastes good. And I think that’s mighty decent of food.” 

James laughed at her and dropped her hand in favor of slinging his arm over her shoulder. A move that was so casual and boyish that Lily laughed as well. Sometimes he did things that made her pause and reshape him in her mind. Like the first time she’d seen him in joggers instead of a suit, or when he blushed for the first time. It thrilled her. 

“Alright, let’s get downstairs.” Lily said. 

“Yes, I think we’re taking some family pictures before we leave.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yes, Mary’s idea, so I doubt fancy cameras will be involved,”

“Oh,” She was relieved. “Well that will be fun then. Reggie is here.” 

“I saw him,” 

“He sent me a picture of him and Sirius.” 

“Hopefully they behave.” 

Lily snorted. “Hopefully, Mary doesn’t have an aneurysm.” 

Everyone was fine and in pristine condition, not only when they got downstairs, but when they arrived at the banquet hall a short while later. Mary was a bit miffed that Reggie and Sirius were getting along so well, but she had Marlene to distract her. 

“Okay, remember what Emma said,” Anita looked at Lily as the car stopped in front of the hall. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Lily said honestly, looking out her window at the line of reporters and camera men. She took a deep breath and got ready to smile. 

“You need to listen to her, Lily.” 

“She has a lot to say, most of which requires something from me,” Lily shrugged. “I need paper lists.” 

“You and James stick together. This isn’t like the State Dinner, you’re not meant to be mingling separately. Stay together, stay in sight,” Anita gave them each a pointed look. “And have fun.” She patted Lily’s hand and then the door was pulled open and Moody helped them out of the car. 

“So many rules. I bet there’s not even a greenhouse for us to sneak off to here.” James ran a hand through his hair. Mia had complained when she’d seen that he hadn’t tamed it for the evening, but Lily had reached up and ruffled it and then there had been no further comments about how it didn’t look ‘proper.’ “At least we’ll be served an actual meal at this dinner.” 

“State Dinners are a joke,” Lily agreed. “Thank goodness you had big pockets.” 

“You could start requesting pockets in your dresses.” They linked arms and Lily leaned close to him as the cameras started flashing. 

“Yes, I could, but I don’t really need to since you’re willing to ruin your jackets for me.” She smiled up at him and he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. 

“I believe we’ve had this conversation before, but I’ll reiterate. Putting biscuits in your pockets doesn’t _ruin _anything.”

Lily laughed and then they were in the building. 

She took a deep breath and almost stopped walking. She needed a moment to take it all in. 

Emma had gone above and beyond. Everything was exquisite. The flowers, the lights, candles, drapes, ice sculptures, it was all beautiful. And it was all for her and James. 

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” James said quietly. 

“Me either,” Lily kept looking around, her eyes finding new details with every once over. “But this is so much better.” 

“Emma certainly has an eye for things,” 

“That she does. I’ll have to let her know. Even though she’ll be smug.” 

They were led into a large dining hall and an announcer called the rooms attention to them as they walked in. Everyone else was already in their seat, but they stood when they saw Lily and Anita. Lily hoped they hadn’t kept them waiting for too long, if only so she didn’t have to hear about it from certain parliament members later. 

James pulled her chair out for her before one of the servers could step up and do it, and then she took a seat with her gran, and everyone else followed in suit. Music started playing, people started talking and the food was brought out. 

Lily enjoyed getting to be the last to arrive, so she didn’t have to wait around for anyone and there was fewer opportunities for her to call someone’s wife or child by the wrong name. They were always gracious about it when she did, but it was yet another reminder that she hadn’t grown up here, and that she was still getting to know people. 

Gordon sat at James’ right, his wife and children filling in a considerable portion of the seats near them, for which Lily was glad. 

“Evening, Gordon and Maelin!” Lily grinned, as she picked up her fork to take a bite of her fish. “Glad you could bring the kids tonight, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them all!”

“Yes,” Maelin nodded. “We were going to get a sitter for the little ones, but Marcus Meadows told Gordon that he was brining all his kids.” 

“The little one’s are good friends,” Gordon nodded. “They had a lot of fun at your birthday party, too!” 

“Yes, thank you so much for inviting them.” 

Lily smiled, “Of course, I’m glad that they had a good time!”

After the fish came a fruit salad, though it was a Gryffindor fruit salad, so it was mainly pears, apples and peaches. It was still good of course, since it was fruit, but it did seem slightly unimpressive in comparison to some of the other things they were served. She saw Mary throw something at Sirius and wished she was sitting next to her so she would know what was going on. Anita gave them a stern look and then the third course came. 

Lily wished that there was more than one dessert course as she ate more peaches, served a second way. 

James put a hand on her back, and she smiled at him. “The chocolate is coming. Emma wouldn’t not put it on the menu.” 

She laughed and took a sip of her champagne. “Would be awfully rude of her.”

When their last course before dessert was taken away, Sirius stood up and tapped on his glass to get everyone’s attention. Lily glanced at James, but his eyes were stuck on Sirius. He looked as though he were trying to decide if he needed to tackle his best mate to the ground or not. And then Mary stood up as well and Lily’s heart dropped to her stomach. 

“What are they doing?” Lily choked out.

“I don’t know,” James said back just as quietly.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and all others,” Sirius looked around the room, holding his champagne flute aloft. “Mary and I want to say a few things.” 

Mary tipped her glass and nodded, “We do! Our best friends are getting married tomorrow and it’s a big royal, fancy affair, and when we asked Emma,” She motioned to a white-faced Emma. “She said we couldn’t give a speech at tomorrow’s reception, so we _didn’t_ ask her if we could do it tonight instead.” 

Sirius shrugged and Marlene laughed quite loudly. “Cheers,” She called out and Lily heard Dorcas laugh from somewhere down the table. 

“Yes, thank you,” Sirius nodded and Lily gripped James’ hand under the table and leaned a bit closer to him, as though he might somehow prevent this from happening.

He squeezed her hand, a tragic single that meant he could do nothing. 

“I met James when I was eleven,” Sirius told the room. 

“And I met Lily when I was five, we have a far superior friendship.” Sirius scowled at her while more people in the room laughed. 

“We agreed to be civil, MacDonald.” 

“I’m not being uncivil, simply informative.” Mary shrugged. 

Another glare and more laughter and Lily wasn’t sure if they’d planned this entire exchange beforehand or not. She almost smiled at the both of them, but she was still too nervous about what they were going to say. 

“Anyway,” Sirius looked back at the room, his smile now returned. “James and I have been the best of friends, along with those two gits over there, for the past thirteen years, and we’ve seen each other through all the shit, good and bad,” James flinched slightly. 

“Sirius,” Mia warned, tilting her head toward him. 

“Sorry, ma,” Sirius swept his hair away from his face. “But it’s not every day that your best friend gets married. To a princess, no less,” He turned and winked at Lily. Lily shook her head. “We couldn’t believe it when he told us. Out of all the girls in the world, he was going to marry a princess. In less than a months’ time, he’ll be King James,” Sirius shook his head and James’ grip tightened again. Lily brushed her thumb over the back of his hand. 

“And Lily is great,” Sirius added. “For all of you that don’t have the privilege of talking to her when she’s not working, it’s a right shame, because that means you only know half of how… I don’t want to say cool, she did fall asleep about ten minutes into a the movie we watched last night.” 

“She’d had a long day!” Mary interjected.

Lily crossed her fingers and hoped that he wouldn’t bring up the fact that she’d taken a shot only seconds after being woken up. 

“Yes, she did, but still.” Sirius shrugged. 

“If you had picked a better movie-”

“Don’t start a Star Wars debate in the middle of our speech, MacDonald.” 

“Anyway, Lily is phenomenal, which is what Sirius was getting at. She’s the most hardworking, wonderful person you’ll ever meet. You’ve all watched her become the woman that she is today over the last five years, you’ve all seen all the impressive sh- excuse me, _stuff_ she’s done. Graduating early from both secondary and uni, with honors no less, stepping quite seamlessly into her new role in the royal family. She’s got such a bright vision for the future and I’m so incredibly proud of her.” Mary’s voice cracked and Lily cleared her throat to try and rid herself of some of the emotions she was feeling.

“Say something nice about James now,” Sirius mock whispered. 

“I was getting there,” Mary rolled her eyes and James laughed along with the guests. Mary wiped a tear off her cheek and Reggie put a hand on her back. “James is alright,” She shrugged and there was more laughter, from James as well. “I was worried that he wouldn’t be when he first showed up. I mean, it’s my job to be suspicious of everyone that comes into Lily’s life. Actually, that’s technically Moody’s job,” Mary shrugged. “But you know, he might not be a prince in title, but he acts like one.”

“That was good,” Sirius muttered. “I’d never say anything that nice,” He shook his head. “But yes, let’s all raise our glasses now and toast to a happy union between the princess and James.” 

“Yes! To Lily and James and the future of Gryffindor!” 

Everyone stood up and Lily reached for her own glass, and even though she’d gotten used to the attention being on her, she still felt her cheeks warm a bit when she saw her gran, Mary and her mum smiling at her. 

They didn't have a chance to sneak away later in the evening, after dinner they mingled, but not for too long because tomorrow was going to be a long day, and Emma didn’t want them to stay out too late. She wanted them all back at the house and in bed before ten. 

Lily was kissed and hugged by her family many times before she managed to peel away and slip into her bedroom. She had almost walked into James’ room, but she heard Sirius, Remus and Peter in there when she was outside the door and decided to let them have James for the night. She’d have him for the next week, all to herself.

She changed into her pajamas and fell back on her bed, leaving her phone on the other side of the room so she wouldn’t be tempted to see what the rest of the world had to say about what was happening tomorrow, or what had happened tonight. 

She didn’t know how she was supposed to fall asleep. She just felt anxious and nervous for tomorrow. 

She was well into a hallmark movie about valentine’s day, when she heard a knock on her door. 

“Pst,” Another knock. “Lily, it’s me!” 

Lily narrowed her brow. “James, you can come in.” 

The door clicked open, and James was there, in joggers, a t shirt, and a shiteating grin. Lily smiled at him. “What did you do, dear?” 

“Sirius gave me some stuff to drink.” He shrugged. “Too much stuff. I had to leave before things went too far.” 

“You’re drunk?”

“No! What was the word you used at the State Dinner? I’m just slightly off balance and everything is sparkly.” Lily snorted and pushed herself up so she was sitting on her bed. “I tried to text you.” James said, spotting her phone on the desk near the door. 

“I figured it was good to stay away from my phone right now.” 

He nodded, swaying slightly.

Lily smiled at him and then patted the bed next to her. “Come and have a sit, I’ll get you a glass of water.” He made his way to the bed.

“He said it was whiskey, but I’ve never had whiskey that tastes like that. He kept calling me, ‘Prince’ while he served it to me and then he’d start singing _Purple Rain._” 

Lily came back to the bed and handed him a glass of water before crawling back up herself. This bed wasn’t as comfortable as her bed back at the palace, and it was too tall. 

“Their speech was actually really sweet. Not nearly as embarrassing as I thought it was going to be.” 

“It would have been if that dinner hadn’t had all those people there.” James looked at her pointedly and then took a drink of the water. “What is this?” He asked, making a face. 

Lily giggled. “It’s water, love.” 

James blinked at her, eyes wide and then took another sip. “You’re amazing, you know that?” 

“I do, yes. Mary tells me quite frequently.” James shook his head and sat up on his knees. 

“No, listen,” He said, looking for somewhere to put the glass down. Then he just handed it to Lily and she laughed. “Listen to me,” He almost spilled the water in his haste to get rid of it so he could talk with his hands. “I fancy you a lot. Like so much- which is great! Because we’re getting married tomorrow. How cool is that?” Lily snorted. 

“I fancy that too,” He touched the tip of his finger to her nose. “But really, Lily, you’ve said it before, you could have picked anyone out of that stack- Anyone could have picked me! But here we are together and that feels like fate to me. It’s like,” He scrunched his brow and Lily reached over with her free hand to trace her fingers down the side of his face. His gaze softened, “It’s like someone knew that we were supposed to be here. Together.” 

Lily handed him the glass of water. “You believe in destiny when you’re drunk?” 

James shrugged and took a drink. “I believe in you.” 

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and took the water back from him, setting it on the side table. She got up so she was on her knees, mirroring him. “I believe in you too,” She said, pushing his hair back from his face, leaving her hands where they were. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do after we’re married.” He said quietly. Lily knew that that’d been bothering him, and she nodded. When he become king, he’d be the first king consort that Gryffindor had ever had, and he’d have to find a way to navigate what that meant and what his job would be.

“I know, but tomorrow is not the deadline. Right?” 

The corner of his mouth turned up. “Right.” 

“We’re going to figure it all out.” 

James nodded. “Yeah.” 

“We’ve got time.” 

And then she kissed him. 

And he did taste like whiskey, so she didn’t know what he’d been talking about earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Alright, it's looking like the next chapter will be the last chapter! You can expect a short epilogue at the end of the chapter too
> 
> Don't forget to leave a review!


	37. Chapter 37

Lily woke up the next morning, not to her maids, but to her mum and Mary quietly debating in the corner over whether or not they should let her sleep a bit longer or wake her up now so she’d have more time to eat before Emma came in with the team of stylists. 

Lily was glad that she’d guessed she’d have early morning visitors today and sent James back to his room after he was no longer drunk. The thought of her mum walking in on her with a boy in her bed, despite the fact that that boy was her fiancé and Lily was a fully grown woman, mortified her.

“Emma said that she has to be ready for pictures in only a few hours.” Her mum was saying. “She’ll want to eat first-”

“I know, but Emma’s not in charge of _everything_ and I think she’d want to sleep a bit longer.”

“I would like to sleep a bit longer, but you woke me up with your loud whispering.” 

She heard feet padding across the room and then Mary was throwing herself into the bed. “Good morning, Lily!” 

“Morning, Mary.” Lily yawned, not yet opening her eyes as she shuffled further into her pillow. “Couldn’t you and mum debate when to wake me up before you came into my room.” 

“That probably wouldn’t have woken you up,” Mary pulled the blanket off her. Lily simply grabbed a different blanket. “But you do need to get up if you want to eat. Gran is bringing food up shortly.” 

“Well then I can stay in bed until she gets here,” She countered, determinedly keeping her eyes shut.

That was a fight she lost, Mary was in a hurry to eat so she could put on her own dress. Of course, her excited energy kept Lily from getting too anxious, so she appreciated her friend a little more than usual this morning. 

Anita came up with a large tray, Gwen carrying a second tray behind her. The four of them stuffed their faces and it was nice to have breakfast in bed with her best friend, her mum and her gran. It was nice to feel so connected to her little family in a way that she normally didn’t. It was also very nice to see her mum and gran getting along. They both seemed to have put aside whatever issues they had with one another for the sake of Lily and that kept her smiling while she ate her toast and eggs.

After breakfast was put away, they carried their teacups around the room as all the supplies arrived. Lily’s dress was first, and seeing it carried in, in a bag made it look so much larger and fluffier than it had looked when Lily had been wearing it. Then the rest of the dresses and the hair stylist walked in with Emma. 

Lily kept breathing and not letting herself think too far ahead. Of course, telling herself not to think ahead, didn’t magically accomplish the goal. But her gran and Mary seemed to understand that she wanted to be distracted and so there was not a moment of silence all morning. Mary had a million things to tell Lily that she just hadn’t gotten around to yet, and Anita kept bringing up Lily’s friend who she’d get to see in a few hours. Marlene had left the townhouse to accompany her great aunt, and Dorcas would be coming with her husband. Princess Susan Bones of Hufflepuff couldn’t attend, but she did send the most beautiful arrangement of flowers.

At least, that’s what Anita said, Lily hadn’t seen the flowers.

She wanted to see James again, but he had things that he needed to do this morning as well. The wedding was at noon. Which was much closer than Lily was comfortable with, but again, she was trying not to think about that. Besides, the wedding had been much closer than she was comfortable with since it was announced that she had to get married before she was coronated.

“Lily, you look so lovely,” Lily turned her head to see Mia walking into the room. She hadn’t heard a knock over all the activity in the room. Mia was already dressed and ready for the wedding, and she looked lovely, but Lily was still in a robe. 

“Thank you,” She said, smiling at her. “We’re moving slowly along.” 

“Well slow and steady is not a bad thing,” Mia leaned down and kissed Lily’s cheek. “A sense of urgency isn’t what we all need today.” 

“How’s James?” Lily asked quietly. Mia smiled at her. 

“He’s doing well. He asked me to give you this,” She said, taking a small envelope from her pocket. “He said he wasn’t going to try your phone.” 

“I don’t even know where my phone is,” Lily said, her heart beating a bit faster as she took the envelope from Mia. She didn’t bother waiting for a quiet moment to read it, she wouldn’t get a quiet moment today. Though Mia did step back to give her a bit of space.

_Dear Princess Lillith,_

_First of all, I’m not hungover. I feel like that is an important place to start. However, much water you managed to trick me into drinking last night did the trick. Thanks for taking care of me after Sirius got me pissed. Also, the snogging was great fun. _

_Secondly, and I’m being serious here so prepare yourself, I can’t wait to see you in a few hours. I know that this wedding is not everything that you pictured for yourself, since you seemed to have pictured falling in love with Santa Clause whilst living in a snow globe as a dog sang you Christmas Carols... However, this is so much more than I had ever let myself hope for. _You _are so much more than I had ever let myself hope for. I do hope that someday, you no longer feel as though you are missing out. I meant what I said a week ago, I do consider myself lucky to have the rest of our lives to get you to fall in love with me._

_Thirdly, I need you to know that I understand that your anger with this situation is not about me. I know that whatever frustration you feel is toward a system that was put in place to hold women back, it is not about me. I know that today is weighing on you and I hope to take as much of that burden as possible. _

_I support you today and every day, in whatever way you need from me. _

_Yours, _

_James_

Lily took a deep breath through her nose and looked at the floor, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. 

Fuck it all. 

All of it, just- fuck it. 

Maybe they were meant to be together. Maybe someone had been pulling the strings behind the scenes and made sure that Lily picked James, that he accepted, that they met. Because in this moment, she could picture it, she could picture standing next to him, today and every day as they changed their country for the better. They would support one another as they pushed for change and progress. 

She took another deep breath and looked up, finding Mia looking at her cautiously. “Alright, dear?” 

Lily smiled at her and nodded. “I think I am.” She looked down at the note as she folded it up. “Your son is sort of wonderful.” 

Mia laughed quietly and put a hand on Lily’s shoulder. “He’s alright.” Lily looked up at her and laughed as well, feeling much lighter than she had earlier. 

“Alright!” She set the note on her vanity and stood up. “Let’s get the dress on so we can start with the pictures.” She still wanted to see James, but the note had helped.

This time when she looked at her reflection once the dress was on, she did not feel the need to burst into tears. She appreciated the fit, and the feel of the silk on her skin. She ran her fingers over the drapes and lace and beads. It was the most beautiful gown that she’d ever worn. It might just be the most beautiful gown that she would ever wear.

“Oh, Lily,” Her mum gasped as she walked into the room with a small box, seeing her in her dress for the first time. “Oh, baby,” And then her mum was crying, and Lily smiled at her. Rose walked over to hug her, and Lily kissed her cheek. 

“You like it?” She twirled the skirts as much as she could. There were many layers and it was quite heavy. 

“It’s perfect.” 

“I think so too,” Anita grinned.

“Kate Middleton’s was better,” Mary shrugged, and Lily tossed her a glare. “Just trying to keep you humble.” 

“Thank you for that.” 

“I have something for you,” Rose said, setting the box down on the vanity, covering half of James’ note. “It was my mothers, and her mothers.” She looked nervously at Emma and then opened the box. Encased in a velvet envelope was a delicate hairpin, a small flower at the top, small and slightly worn petals trailed by a small line of white pearls. Lily remembered seeing the hairpin when Rose had remarried David, and when Petunia had gotten married. She’d forgotten about it until now. 

Lily reached out and ran her finger over it, memories flooding back to her, mainly of her and Tooney sharing flower girl responsibilities at Rose and David’s wedding. Petunia had gotten to put the pin in Rose’s hair. 

Lily sat carefully on the vanity stool and looked in the mirror as her mum picked it up and looked over her hairdo to find a good place for it. Then she slid it into her hair as gently as she could. “Thank you, mum. It’s beautiful.” 

“I hope it’s alright with your people,” She glanced at Emma. 

“There is always room for tradition in weddings.” Emma gave her a kind smile. Lily almost didn’t recognize her like that. But then she checked her watch and started waving them out of the room. “Alright, out we go. We don’t want to keep Gilderoy waiting.” 

“You hired Gilderoy?” Lily whined. 

“He’s a fantastic photographer.”

“I know that, but he’s always name dropping and I highly doubt he’s ever met any of the people he talks about. He’s a photographer from Gryffindor, he’s not met Beyoncé or Taylor Swift.” 

“Remember that time he told you that he swam the English Channel in February?” Mary snorted. “I bet he wishes you had agreed to marry him instead of James.” 

“I’m sure he tells people that he turned me down.” Lily shook her head and Mia chuckled, which Lily took as confirmation, even if that’s not what she meant by laughing.

The pictures seemed to take forever, which was a little odd since they only had about an hour. Gilderoy wanted to take some inside, in the library, in the garden, on the steps of the palace. To which she had to remind him that they were not at the castle, so they could not make that happen. She took pictures with Mia and Montey, with Rose and David, with Anita, the most with Mary, Reggie was in a few of them, though he preferred to stay back. She knew that the tradition was to not have the bride and groom see one another until the wedding, but she wished that she had gotten to take a few pictures with James.

She didn’t know what this need to see him was from, but it pulled at her all morning.

Soon she was sitting in the back of the car, in front of the church, waiting for security to give the okay that it was safe to get out of the car. 

Anita was sitting next to her and she reached over and took her hand. “You’ve been very calm today.” 

Lily nodded. 

“Are you alright?” 

Lily nodded. Anita waited for further explanation. 

“James wrote me a nice note this morning.” Anita was still quiet. “I think I might be falling in love with him.” She said this very quietly, but Anita still heard her. She squeezed her hand. 

“Well, we weren’t expecting that, were we?” 

“No.” Lily shook her head, not sure how she felt about the words being out there in the open. Mary was going to be pissed that she hadn’t told her first. She hadn’t been planning on saying them out loud just then, but didn’t surprise her either. Something tugged on her heart again and she looked toward the church.

“Did he tell you that he love-”

“No.” Lily shook her head. Though he had told her that all of this was destiny. He had looked her in the eye and told her that he believed in her, and in that moment, she had felt loved. “We’ve really only been dating for a week or so. There’s no need to rush things.” 

Anita chuckled. “Sure, but you are getting married today, there’s no reason to take things slowly either.” 

“I’ve never disagreed with you more.” Lily laughed. 

“What about when I claimed that hazelnut was superior to almond?” 

Lily sucked in a breath through her teeth. “That is now in second place. Almonds are better.”

“No one flavors their coffee with almond, Lily.” 

“Some people do! Almond extract is a thing!” 

Moody knocked on the car and then pulled it open. Anita squeezed her hand again and then stepped out. She paused once standing and waited for Lily. Lily was a bit shocked to see that the security team had created a tunnel from the car to the church doors. They were standing on the bottom of a very large piece of white fabric and holding up the top part, forming a cube of sorts. Lily couldn’t see any of them since they were standing on the other side of the thin fabric. 

“We would have gotten ready here, but Emma wanted the pictures done at the house.” Anita shrugged.

“I want more pictures here too,” Emma grinned, squeezing her way into the tunnel. “I mean, this little tunnel that they made is pretty cool,” She looked around and Anita clicked her tongue. 

“No, Emma. We’re not standing about outside until you can find a photographer.” 

“I know!” Emma shook her head. “I know, let’s head in.” She stepped around Anita and Lily and started for the church.

From then on, everything happened too quickly.

She wouldn’t remember the rest of the walk into the church, or the little room that Emma had her wait in until they were ready. She wouldn’t remember Mary continuously asking her if she needed anything. It wasn’t nerves, at least she didn’t think that it was. It was just a very big moment in her life and everything was coming into focus, which led to a bit of tunnel vision. 

Before she knew it, the music had started playing and her gran was offering her an arm so that they could walk into the room together, so that they could greet all of the guests. 

Anita gave her a small smile. “Are you ready, my love?” 

Lily smiled back, but she didn’t answer, she didn’t know how to answer. 

They faced the door and Lily bit down on her tongue, forgetting to breathe as the doors were pulled open. 

Everyone stood and turned to face her as she and Anita took their first steps into the room. She tentatively looked around the room, finding the pews filled with people she hardly knew, finding the faces of the men who thought they could cow her into abdicating by enforcing this law. She stood up a bit straighter and looked forward. She wouldn’t let them see her discomfort or her uncertainty. 

She had prepared herself as best she could for this day and now it was here, and she could stand tall and walk down this aisle. 

But then she looked at James. 

Her eyes found his from where he stood at the front of the church, looking perhaps the most handsome she’d ever seen him, and looking at her as if she’d brought the sun with her when she walked into the room. 

She was falling in love with this man and he was looking at her like she was the center of his universe. 

“I can’t do this.” She said quietly. They had made it halfway down the aisle now, Anita hadn’t heard her over the music, but Lily slowed down and that she noticed. 

She looked at her carefully, putting a hand on top of Lily’s and patting it. “Take a breath,” She said quietly. 

Lily stood up straighter, continuing to put one foot in front of the other as they moved down the aisle. 

"I know this is frightening." Anita said quietly. "But you can do it. Once you are up there, you'll see your friends and family, not all these other people." 

She thought Lily was worried about something completely different than what was actually causing Lily to feel as though someone was holding her back, as though she was fighting for every step forward. 

She looked at James again, and just like always, he seemed to be able to read her emotions far better than anyone else. He gave her a small smile and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and then he gave a single nod. 

Like he could read her mind. It was impossible of course, Lily wasn't even sure what it was she was thinking just then, but she felt a sense of comfort and calm wash over her when he nodded. He supported her. He promised her that he would support her in whatever way she needed. 

They reached the front of the church and Anita turned toward Lily and pulled her in for a hug. "I love you so much, my girl." She said, holding a moment longer than was expected. "And I always will, no matter what choices you need to make." 

Perhaps her gran hadn't been misunderstanding Lily before. 

She turned back toward James, who had walked down the steps to meet her, he held out his hand. "Alright?" He asked quietly. 

She took his hand and squeezed it tightly. She wanted whatever it was she was feeling to dissipate now. She'd made it down the aisle, she made it through the church, she'd made it to James, she should feel better now, she should feel confident. Like she normally did when she found James. She’d wanted to see him all day, she’d wanted to stand next to him and let him calm her.

But it still felt like there was something squeezing her heart. 

They stepped up and Lily heard the crowd sit down, and then there was white noise. She didn't hear the bishop start speaking. 

She couldn't do this. 

It was the clearest thought she'd had all day, even though she’d said it only a few moments ago. This time, when it rang through her head, it made sense to her.

She couldn't stand up here and get married to James. For a million reasons, she couldn't do this. 

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her, or to him, or to the country. It wasn't fair to all the women who came before her, to all the women she spoke for. It wasn't fair and she couldn't go through with it. 

She stepped back into her body rather quickly, pulling her hands from James and taking a small step backward. "I can't do this." She said quietly. 

The bishop had been in the middle of speaking and cleared his throat before he looked at her. "What was that, princess?" 

"Lily," James said carefully. 

"I can't," She shook her head and looked out at the crowd. She caught sight of Rosier first, the smile he wore should have made her stomach twist, but it actually offered her even more clarity. She looked back at James. "I can't marry you," She said, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly. 

He looked confused, as though he was trying to mask the hurt, so Lily stepped toward him again, standing on her tiptoes so she could kiss him. 

"Excuse me," The bishop shook his head, "That part comes later." Lily laughed, and she heard some other people laugh as well.

"I'm terribly sorry." Lily squeezed James' hand as she turned toward the bishop. "But I don't think your services are required at the moment." 

"No? Why- What is going on?" 

"Hopefully, progress." Lily smiled at him and then picked up her skirts as she stepped around the bishop and up to the small podium behind him. 

She looked out at the sea of shocked and confused faces, finding a few of them to be vindictive, but that didn't bother her. For the first time since she heard that she would have to abdicate or enter into an arranged marriage, she felt like she had found her feet. And her voice. 

"I will not be getting married today." She said, addressing the room at large. The gasps that came from the guests almost made her laugh, but that was probably the relief she was feeling. The relief at finally, _finally_ feeling like she knew what she was doing again. "I know that you all came here to see me get married, but that's not going to happen, because the only reason that I was getting married today, was because of a law that I don't believe in, and that doesn't seem like a good enough reason. I will not be getting married today," She repeated. 

There were a few scoffs that rang throughout the extremely silent room, and they were potent. Lily continued to smile as she looked around the room. "My grandmother, Anita Evans, has been successfully ruling this country without a man at her side since my father's passing, and I know that people have overwhelmingly approved of the work that she has done. I am so proud of the work that she has done.

So I'd like to ask you all, to think about what it is you're asking me to do today. You're asking me to get married to appease a law that should never have existed in the first place. Would you force your mothers, sisters, or daughters to do what you're trying to force me to do?" The silence continued and Lily had never felt more like she had lost a room, but she didn’t lose her momentum or her hope. "I believe that I will be a great queen," She pushed forward. She had made a decision, one that after a month of confusion and discomfort, she finally felt sure of. 

"I understand Gryffindor to be a land that draws beauty and tradition from the past, and combines it with all the best hope for the future. I have learned so much about my family, people that have loved and served you, the people of this great country, and I feel in my heart and soul that I can rule Gryffindor. I love this country.

I love this country so much, that I cast aside what I knew was right in my heart because I felt as though I didn't have any other choice. I am standing in front of all of you in a wedding dress that I had picked out for me because the members of parliament decided to only give me twenty eight days to get married." Not everyone in the room had been privy to that information, so that got a bit of a reaction, which was a relief because it broke the silence. 

"I understand that you all require sacrificed from me, that you need to know that I am dedicated and loyal to promoting the welfare of this country and its people. But when I marry James, I want it to be because I love him, not because I had my position held hostage." She found Mary in the front row next to her mother, and Mary gave her a thumbs up, smiling hugely. Lily smiled a bit wider. 

"I stand here, ready to take my place as your queen. Without a husband." 

To Lily's eternal shock, people started to clap. She heard Sirius's voice shout 'Viva Queen Lily!' but most people were not quite that enthusiastic. 

But it wasn't a negative reaction and that was something she could work with. If they didn't shut her down immediately here, then she had cracks to get between and push apart further. 

"Every time," 

The clapping tapered off as everyone turned to Rosier, who stood up in the middle of the room and spun around slowly, addressing everyone before he looked at Lily. "Every time this charming and vivacious young woman opens her mouth, she demonstrates a contempt for the customs of Gryffindor." He turned to address the room now. "The law clearly states that an unmarried woman cannot be queen." And then his smirk turned in her direction. "Fortunately, there is another heir." 

"One who is currently under investigation for slander, breaking multiple nondisclosure agreements and he also never finished college. Because he was expelled from his university." This was Dorcas Meadows, who stood beside her extremely baffled, elderly husband. She reached down and pulled him to his feet. "My husband and I believe that the crown should pass on to Princess Lily, regardless of whether or not she gets married today or twenty years from now. She is a bright, caring, confidant ray of light that this country could sorely benefit from. Right, Marcus?" 

"Oh, um- yes, of course! Lily has already brought so many colorful and brilliant initiatives and ideas to the floor. She has a vision, and that is what makes a great leader." Lily was surprised to hear him speak so highly of her. He was usually so quiet.

"What kind words," Rosier's tone implied that he did not agree in the slightest. "I did not know we had decided to let our wives speak for us on government matters-"

"We're actually in a church at the moment," Marlene spoke up from beside her great aunt, "And parliament isn't in session, so I believe anyone is able to speak their mind right now." 

“Who would be next in line for the throne? After Bertram?” Horace Slughorn asked. Lily's stomach pinched with nerves. She couldn’t allow for that line of questioning. 

“Bertram is a fantastic candidate. He is bright and young-”

“So is Lily!” 

“We can’t have women going around breaking laws!”

“Bertram would make a fine king.”

“James would have made a fine king, can’t we just make her marry him?” 

“Sit down,” Gordon’s voice cut through everyone else’s and all chatter immediately stopped. He stood from his seat and walked up to stand next to Lily on the podium. “Make a motion, Lily.” He gave her an encouraging smile. 

“Right,” Lily nodded. “Prime Minister, I move to abolish the marriage law, as it applies to future and present queens of Gryffindor. Will anyone second my motion?” The room was quiet again, that silence that made Lily’s heartbeat irregular. She did not relent though, she continued to look around the room at all of them. 

“I second the motion,” Marcus stood up again, though this time it did not appear to be at Dorcas’ prodding. “I have strong and opinionated daughters, who’s voices deserve to be heard just as much as my sons. This law does not reflect an equal society.” 

“Wonderful,” Gordon nodded. “All those in favor of abolishing the marriage law, say ‘aye.’”

Again, there was an uncomfortable pause while the men in parliament looked back and forth between one another. And then Lord Slughorn stood up. “I’ve always liked you, princess. Aye.”

Lord Flitwick quickly followed, and then Lords Longbottom, Diggory, McMillian and so many others stood as well. Lily had to quell the swell of emotion that she felt at seeing this overwhelming support from a body that she normally felt did not support her.

Gordon smiled at her. “The ayes carry the motion. Congratulations, Princess Lily.”

There was more clapping, and Lily could not believe what had just happened.

The law was gone. Just like that. She didn’t have to get married and she got to keep her crown.

She’d won.

She saw Emma standing up in front of everyone and making an announcement, but she couldn’t hear a word she was saying. Soon Moody was at her side and escorting her out of the main room, into a small side room where she would have gotten dressed had Emma not wanted pictures at the castle. Pictures that now meant nothing. It might have been the room she waited in before, but she couldn’t remember.

Lily laughed and spun around after Moody left the room, telling her that someone would be in to help her change momentarily.

She did it.

She stood up for herself and what she believed in, and she actually got the men in parliament to agree with her, to see things from her point of view, and they abolished the law.

It would have been wonderful if they had done it a month ago when she first asked, but they were here now, and that was what was important.

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in!” Lily sang out, assuming that it would be Mary.

But of course, it was James.

Lily, who hadn’t stopped smiling since people started saying ‘aye,’ beamed at James.

“Thank you for your note,” She said, reaching into her bust and pulling the small slip of paper out and she took a step toward him, rubbing her thumb over the paper. “Didn’t even mind that it made me cry, though it did concern your mum a bit.”

James just looked at her.

“I didn’t plan on calling it off.” She said, suddenly fearful that he was hurt with what she had just done. That he might be thinking that she had kept him in the dark. “I would have told you if I had planned this. I got halfway down the aisle-“

“You said ‘when.’” He interrupted.

“What?” She looked up at him, eyes wide.

He stepped closer and took her face between his hands. “You said ‘_when_.’ _When_ you marry me.”

Lily blinked at him and felt her cheeks heat up. Had she said that? She told this bloke that she fancied him a week ago. Of course, she had fancied him for longer than a week, but she’d still only known him for twenty-three days. But yes, she had said ‘when.’

“It’s like you said last night,” She said quietly. “Call it fate or destiny. But this time, it is my choice. And I want to choose you. And I want to do it just because I want to do it, not because anyone else is telling me that I have to.” She was smiling again, and the corners of his mouth quirked up. “You know, if you’ll let me.”

James brushed his thumb over her cheek, his eyes were sparkling like they had been that night at the State Dinner and he nodded. “I want to choose you too.”

Lily’s cheeks hurt as she continued to beam at him. “How lucky for us.”

And then she kissed him.

**Epilogue**

The press hadn’t been allowed in the church that day, but there had been one camera team that had been live casting the entire event to the entire world. The support that Lily received for standing by her ideals and fighting for equality, was astounding. There were a small percentage of people who believed that she was wrong to not marry James of course, and Mary seemed to be one of them.

“I just miss him is all,” Mary said as the girls stood at the edge of the balcony, peeking out at the crowd below, trying to catch a glimpse of the Potters before the coronation began. “He doesn’t live here anymore, and I’ve only got you to hang out with now.”

“You think I should have gotten married so that you can have more people to hang out with?” Lily laughed.

“Yes,” Mary nodded. “It’s the nice thing to do.”

“What are you two doing?” Lily turned to see her sister standing behind them with a hand on her hip. She had arrived with her family and their mum a few days ago. Lily had spent every day since then chancing her nephew through the halls.

“Don’t act like Emma,” Lily shook her head. “I’m just trying to spy on my boyfriend,” She turned back around and looked over the crowd, smiling at herself when she called James her boyfriend. She had given back the ring, which felt very weird to do. But James had just smiled and quipped that she’d have to purpose to him next time.

It had been hard to adjust to James no longer living in the castle, since she had liked always having the option to walk down to his room or knowing that he could show up at her door at any moment. But she didn’t regret anything.

The first week after everything, they had still gotten to spend a lot of time together, going on television to explain to everyone what had been going on behind the scenes, being honest about what their relationship was now and what it had been then. Emmeline Vance had laughed when she had them on air, remembering that everyone had assumed Lily was pregnant and that was why the wedding had come so soon. She even had Bertram on as a surprise guest, where he infuriated Lily by joking about how he had tried to trick her into giving up her throne. Though he had failed and was being so lighthearted about it, that the crowd had found all of his antics hilarious.

And then he announced that he would be running for Lord Rosier’s Parliament seat in the fall, since Lord Rosier had decided to resign after he didn’t get his way and lost the support of a few of his more slippery friends in parliament. 

Lily wasn’t upset about that. It didn’t seem like a terrible trade off.

“I’m not acting like Emma,” Petunia said. “Emma told me that if I found you two, I should drag you back to your room by your hair and I’m not doing that!”

“She’s never not going to be upset with you,” Mary poked Lily in the side. Lily rolled her eyes.

“I know. But it’s not like I ruined everything!”

“Come on,” Petunia waved her hand at them. “You do need to get in your dress.”

“Just a couple more minutes.” She turned back to the crowd just as James walked in with Sirius. Monty and Mia behind them. Both of the boys were looking for them, but Sirius spotted them first. He nudged James and nodded in their direction. James smiled up at them as Lily and Mary waved enthusiastically at the both of them. They didn’t wave back though, lest they draw attention to Lily and Mary’s hiding place.

So much had happened in the last month, so much that she couldn’t have gotten through without James standing beside her and supporting her. He’d challenged her in ways that she needed to be challenged, he listened to her when she needed someone to listen. He hid biscuits in his pockets and let her cry all over his nice clothes. He told her that she looked like flowers and the sun, and he believed in her.

They had come so far in the last month, much farther than they should have had to, but Lily thought it was a blessing.

And now, they had all the time in the world and that thrilled her entirely. 

“Alright,” Lily stepped away from the curtain they’d been hiding behind. “I’m ready now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit. I was kind of starting to think that I'd never find a way to end this story. 
> 
> I know it's probably not the ending that a lot of you thought was coming, but I do hope that you like it! This was my plan from the very beginning, and as I've told you all, a lot of my earlier plans got derailed entirely, so it feels good to have made hit the target in this instance. 
> 
> This fic was so much fun to write! I can not tell you how much I appreciate all the support I've received from all of you since I've started posting this fic. Thank you so much to those of you who have been on the ride since the beginning, or those of you who binged the entire fic last night and those who will read it years from now! 
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you! 
> 
> I promise, as always, I'll be posting a new project shortly!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave a review!


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